accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dirty minds: Your brain influences!

I love the idea that sex is between the ears, more than anything. A lot of people don’t realize this and have a lot of misconceptions about sex, sex drive and their libidos. (Not to mention that sex can start before you even touch each other, but I digress)

I asked the author of Dirty Minds: How Our Brains Influence Love, Sex, and Relationships, Kayt Sukel: (who was featured in a piece on ABC’s Nightline last night) “How does the brain impact sexual satisfaction or dissatisfaction?”

Anyone who is really distracted by the day’s events knows that over-thinking about the wrong things can really mess with your libido. But what they might not know is that some people are able to reach orgasm using *only* their brain. By using top-down control, they can actually “think off.”

It’s even possible that we all have this ability but never learned how to harness it. Given that the brain has this kind of power, imagine if we could use it for good instead of evil!

Scientists are currently using neuroimaging and other techniques to understand just what happens as you
build up to orgasm, have an orgasm and recover from orgasm. By understanding just how and why the brain can affect sex, they hope to one day understand how you can make your brain work for you and enhance the experience.

Thank goodness for science! This reminds me that some of us have so much to learn but are too embarrassed, proud, or selfish to figure out what our partners want/need.

Do you think that our sex lives can improve if we understand more about how our brain works in the process?

How do you talk about your libido with your partner?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

231 comments Add your comment

Ready?

March 20th, 2012
5:37 am

If you are, so am I? “Somewhat guilty?” Oh I think not, delusional maybe. You forget January THIS YEAR?? I have everything, all of it safely tucked away. I was quiet, YOU awakened. I’m no hostage. Take responsibility for YOUR own actions and behavior. The blame game won’t work. Now, you take your own advice and back up. Paint or spin it any way you like publish it. So will I, down to remarks about others. Yes I have them. A couple of recently saintly entries won’t negate the validity of hands all over and at play throughout it all.

You be done, EVERYTHING remarks, jabs and all then so am I.

Orlando

March 20th, 2012
5:43 am

Good morning, I think I will stick to the traditional orgasm, that brain orgasm dont sound as intense to me. Although in my teen years I may have had one or two of those B/O’s,,,,,,,,

Lily

March 20th, 2012
7:56 am

Diva Diva Diva….way too much thought…lol If I agree today would I contradict myself on yesterday? Love all of it shouldn’t be so thought out.

Lady~

March 20th, 2012
8:02 am

Good Morning MIA!!!!!! Terrific Tuesday Underway~ ;)

Celisea

March 20th, 2012
8:47 am

Hey Lady…how are you this morning?

On topic: I have nothing…lol

Lady~

March 20th, 2012
8:52 am

Hey C!!!! All is well the topic leaves me bewilder as well! I will wait for the experts! ;)

Celisea

March 20th, 2012
8:53 am

Lady – Me too…All I know is that I have a brain…lol Swiss or Dreams or Sassy will be the experts on this one. I’m certainly not qualified.

Lady~

March 20th, 2012
8:58 am

The 1st person who came to my mind was Dreams!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Like minds sis!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Celisea

March 20th, 2012
8:59 am

disco

March 20th, 2012
9:03 am

hey ya’ll. my brain is so not feeling these “think tank” topics especially this early. I recognize the body as a machine and all that. I understand that the more into a person you are the better the sex has the opportunity to be but still – all this over thinking stuff this early in the morning isn’t working for me. I’m thinking when you are trying to get your man you might want to “check your brain” at the door and just take the parts that you need to get the job done. my brain is good mister, I just need for you to tend to my (insert grown folk words here)….

Lady~

March 20th, 2012
9:08 am

chuckle………..

Leggs

March 20th, 2012
9:11 am

Good morning.

I agree that sex can start without even touching one another. That’s the beauty of attraction. Anticipation, being desirous of what may happen before it happens heightens the curiousity. And, when impact does happen, BAM, I hope it was all one thought it to be (lol).

How do you talk about your libido with your partner? – The same way I would talk about anything else. Start a conversation. Talking about ones libido isn’t taboo. However, not on the first date, but I see nothing wrong with talking about it with my “partner.”

disco

March 20th, 2012
9:28 am

funny I just said “check your brain at the door”. usually I am the one that everyone accuses of thinking too much. guess I just don’t have the energy this morning for all that thinking.

O/T – met guy at gas station last night. he literally asked if he could “conversate with me”. yep. conversate. and, I couldn’t help myself, I laughed when he said it. this guy was short, thin, had very long dreds, excessive tattoos on both arms and his neck (and probably beyond). definitely not my type.

SlimUno

March 20th, 2012
9:29 am

Good morning,

Um after trying to read “Ready’s” post, I think I need to finish my coffee and wash my face again. :???: Huh?

SlimUno

March 20th, 2012
9:44 am

I’m feeling CRAZY energy today…nor did I sleep well last night. I wonder if it’s something in the air.

Leggs

March 20th, 2012
9:45 am

@disco ~ I hate that word. I remember a young telemarkter calling me for some product. When she used that word, I quickly informed her if she doesn’t remember anything I say tonight, remember “conversate” is not a word and to remove it from her vocabulary. She thanked me but didn’t make a sale.

SlimUno

March 20th, 2012
9:49 am

disco – Your story reminds me of a time this older guy on a motorcycle tried to talk to me at Quick Trip. In introducing himself, he gave me his nickname which was like a riding name which was sort of a stupid way to introduce his grown ass to me. I just laughed. I wish I could remember what his nickname was. I think it was something like IceMan or something silly like that. :lol:

Leggs

March 20th, 2012
9:52 am

I’m feeling CRAZY energy today…nor did I sleep well last night. I wonder if it’s something in the air. – Yep, 9,000+ pollen level.

lolalee

March 20th, 2012
9:57 am

disco ~ conversate! LOL. Can’t stand that non-word.

OT: Don’t need to talk all that much about it. Would rather communicate in other ways what I want/need. And he does the same…. Which doesn’t mean a few whispered words here and there aren’t part of the mix…

Definitely it’s a brain thing. You could be the finest man out there, but if you aren’t bright, no no no no. If you’re bright, you can f*** my brain first, then my body. That’s how it works in lolaland.

SlimUno

March 20th, 2012
9:58 am

Besides the pollen Leggs lol

lolalee

March 20th, 2012
9:58 am

Leggs, pass some of that energy over here. Feeling a bit sluggish, trying to ramp up :)

Leggs

March 20th, 2012
10:04 am

SlimUno is the one with the energy. Although I have a boatload myself. Just ran down 5 flights of stairs and back up. Water, where’s my dang water….

kimmie

March 20th, 2012
10:05 am

Morning All!

Uh yeah, can’t think that deep early in the morning. That went away after college – the need to think deep early cause you have a test in the morning you stayed up cramming for the night before.

disco – That sounds like Lil Wayne!LOL!!

Fion

March 20th, 2012
10:07 am

“How do you talk about your libido with your partner?”

Short and sweet, if you can’t you have real trouble on your hands.

Without question the largest sex organ on the body is the brain. Understanding your likes, dislikes can go a long way in sexual fulfillment.

Sassy Me..Juicy Fruit ;-)

March 20th, 2012
10:08 am

I wonder if it’s something in the air.

SlimUno…it’s spring…I’ve been feeling some kinda way,too. With the time change my sleeping schedule has been waay outta whack but my energy levels have been off the charts. When I get like this I usually work out harder but even that’s not working. Mr. Bermuda’s not feeling well so I can’t burn any extra energy with/on him so I don’t know that I’m gon do…

ON topic: Yesterday I mad a comment about the physiological changes observed in the brain based on a CAT scan a couple took. The “thinking off” was part of that same show and what they did was observe this woman (another CAT scan) while she was doing this. Electrodes were placed in her va jay-jay and the results were astonishing. The parts of her brain associated with pleasure were lit up and the blood flow around her genitals was through the roof. There were other examples of how the mind can control/enhance sex on that documentary and I was impressed from a scientific point of view.

That being said, I don’t really think all of this is about over analyzing sex but rather trying to understand the anatomy & physiology behind it…I mean with the advances in technology that are now available these sorts of things can be looked into and explored. I think it’s interesting.

By understanding just how and why the brain can affect sex, they hope to one day understand how you can make your brain work for you and enhance the experience.

This does seem juuust a tad contradictory to yesterday’s thoughts…almost but I see the point being made here. We know from experience that sex is better (or we perceive it to be) when there’s an emotional connection involved. But trying too hard to understand it can throw a wet blanket on the fire…hence the stance just go with it and quite trying to figure it out.

Mornting All :mrgreen:

SlimUno

March 20th, 2012
10:08 am

I feel like just walking out of work, getting into my car and riding off to a nearby beach, jumping in the ocean with all my clothes on then going to grab a bite at a local eatery, sitting outside with a huge ass Texas Margarita

Lady~

March 20th, 2012
10:10 am

Good Post Sassy! Thanks! ;)

Lady~

March 20th, 2012
10:10 am

sitting outside with a huge ass Texas Margarita <<<<<ME Too!

Sassy Me..Juicy Fruit ;-)

March 20th, 2012
10:11 am

*quit trying*

Sassy Me..Juicy Fruit ;-)

March 20th, 2012
10:13 am

Okay me third on the Texas Margarita and sitting outside…and I don’t even know what a “Texas” margarita is :lol:

Thanks Lady…I heart science..

Celisea

March 20th, 2012
10:14 am

Has the topic changed yet? Or fizzled yet?

SlimUno

March 20th, 2012
10:14 am

Sassy – Maybe it is spring fever…and surprisingly the beau isn’t feeling too well either. He currently has an ear infection so he went to the Walgreens to have them look at it and see what they recommended and found out his blood pressure was off the chain and immediately sent him to urgent care. That has been a bit nerve wrecking so no extracurricular activities on this end to burn the bottled energy I seem to have. So we’ve put a rain check on our weekend getaway for the moment until he feels better.

And I saw that same special where they checked the blood flow of the women by putting some device inside her to monitor her reaction. I’ve also seen a special where you can BREATHE your way into an big O.

Celisea

March 20th, 2012
10:17 am

9,000+ pollen level.

My eyes and throat are taking a beating right about now…whew

Slim's got the fever!

March 20th, 2012
10:22 am

My eyes and throat are taking a beating right about now

Cel – Um swiss and/or Ex in 5…4…3….2..

Celisea

March 20th, 2012
10:23 am

Slim – LOL…I stepped into that one.

Sassy Me..Juicy Fruit ;-)

March 20th, 2012
10:23 am

I’ve also seen a special where you can BREATHE your way into an big O.

Slim I saw that one,too. There were a circle of people sitting around on the floor experiencing wave after wave OOOs. Sorry to hear about your beau not feeling well…sometimes men can be big babies when they’re sick but it’s soo cute in a way …he’s 6″4′ and you would’ve thought he was 2 yrs old. Mr. Bermuda looked at me like I was his savior when I went to go check on him yesterday…po thang.

Sassy Me..Feelin some kinda way!! ;-)

March 20th, 2012
10:25 am

Yes you did Celi..right in it :lol: Sorry to hear all of you suffering from allergies like that.

Mike P

March 20th, 2012
10:27 am

Of course sex is all mental, every man knows this. nothing new here!

Getting our motors: The more closely a woman resembles our personal idea of being attractive and sexy, the less effort we need to get us going. and the less a woman resembles our idea of attractiveness, the more mental effort it requires to get the motors running.

Getting the woman’s motors running: in a lot of cases, it requires mental effort to get a woman ready and in the mood. It’s easier for us when it doesn’t require us to spend lots of mental effort, hence the term “easy.”

Mike P

March 20th, 2012
10:28 am

oops! good morning, good blog folks :)

Celisea

March 20th, 2012
10:28 am

Thanks Sassy. I’m glad to see you hanging around these last couple of days :)

I guess Imma have to send out a call for the caped crusader. He’s slipping…lol

disco

March 20th, 2012
10:29 am

kimmie – he did have that little wayne physique but thankfully he was much easier to look at than little wayne. still all those tattoos were very distracting and he didn’t meet the minimum weight requirement.

sassy – can’t cosign on it being cute when a grown man gets to acting like a big baby when he’s sick. Especially when it’s something minor or routine like a cold or something. a guy got mad at me once because I told him to call me when he was feeling better. guess he thought I was going to hang around and play nursemaid but he had me stuck.

Leggs

March 20th, 2012
10:33 am

I feel for any of you suffering with allergies but all the more thankful it doesn’t bother me. When I got home, I rinsed my car off before putting in the garage. Lil leggs suffers a little with it, and didn’t need her inhaling any of that pesky yellow dust.

Stimulate the brain, the libido will follow and you may find her passing you her panties under the table. Have any of you stimulated your man like that. Gave him a little tease while dining out (lololol)?

Sassy Me..Feelin some kinda way!! ;-)

March 20th, 2012
10:36 am

he didn’t meet the minimum weight requirement.

!!!!!!!!! SassaFrass blog hollering and laughing her head off

can’t cosign on it being cute when a grown man gets to acting like a big baby when he’s sick

Mr. Bermuda’s not like that over someting minor like a cold or anything..it takes alot to put him down but when he is he tends to get kinda clingy and wants attention when I’m around so I give him some extra affection and that works. He likes it when he lays his head in my lap and I play with his hair..it seems to soothe him..

Lady~

March 20th, 2012
10:37 am

Celisea

March 20th, 2012
10:37 am

Regarding allegeries…funny some years I’m affected by it and some years not. Sunday I was outside for a few minutes and had to rinse my eyes with water. I have drops today :)

Sassy Me..Feelin some kinda way!! ;-)

March 20th, 2012
10:40 am

Have any of you stimulated your man like that. Gave him a little tease while dining out

:oops:

As I raise my hand…head bowed

Summer time is the best time especially when I’m wearing a skirt (not gonna elaborate…I ain’t) Sometimes I like to take my shoes off and play

Leggs

March 20th, 2012
10:42 am

@SassyMe ~ be proud my sister, BE PROUD (roflmao). Kudos!

disco

March 20th, 2012
10:51 am

sassy – I think the weight requirement is even more important than the height requirement. a guy can be shorter than average but have good size to him and I can get with that but when a fella (short or tall) just looks frail or bony I can’t get with that. I joked once that it would be like playing pick up sticks in bed. remember pick up sticks?

Slim's got the fever!

March 20th, 2012
10:54 am

Getting the woman’s motors running: in a lot of cases, it requires mental effort to get a woman ready and in the mood. It’s easier for us when it doesn’t require us to spend lots of mental effort

Mike P – You’re right about that…I hate guys that assume just because their lil soldier is standing at attention that i’m just as ready as he is. Um…no sir…it’s going to take more than looking at me and pointing at it saying, Look at whatchu made me do, in order to get me ready. That just makes me want to say, “I know you’re proud of it and all but it’s not a magic wand that causes the flood gates to open up just by waving it around”. :roll:

Sassy Me..Feelin some kinda way!! ;-)

March 20th, 2012
10:56 am

I joked once that it would be like playing pick up sticks in bed. remember pick up sticks?

:shock:

Sweet baby, infant Jesus….not pick up sticks…eeewwww. :lol: Yeah I think that’d be a deal breaker with me,too, cause a skinny frail looking man such a turn off.