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Should couples keep secrets?

When you have been together for a really long time, you begin to figure out what needs to be done to keep the peace in realtionships. A married couple once told me that sometimes total honesty has no place in a relationship! Obviously, you don’t want to hide the fact that you have another spouse or anything, but are there some secrets that couples should keep?

I always believed that I would marry my best friend. Someone I could share everything with, but I am starting to wonder if I am being naive. Why should a couple keep things from each other? What does it mean when it becomes a habit? How do you know what needs to be said, shared, or revealed versus what needs to be kept a secret?

Have you ever wished that you actually had less honesty in a relationship? Do you think that a couple that keeps secrets will eventually end up harming the relationship more than helping it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

289 comments Add your comment

SlimUno

March 16th, 2012
2:23 pm

Hey Slim1 tell them you make a small yearly salary and they will be glad to see you walk out the door

BF – Well, they must have gotten hip to that excuse because you have to meet the salary requirement prior to signing up.

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
2:23 pm

To MLBs ~ no disrespect to you abc, but your statement made me wonder. How many of you men believe your woman when she says “you’re the best shes ever had?”

Lady, I submit that men don’t lie and keep secrets much – Comedy all day everyday.

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:23 pm

yep but I order and shop online the magazines go in the trash but they come they have gret 20 to 25 percent off deals and I am redoing my bedroom. just recently brought a new bed

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:26 pm

leggs you stoopid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL too funny!

For Real

March 16th, 2012
2:27 pm

Keeping Secrets:

Dude: Baby boy I am soooo proud that you graduated from high school.

Son: Thanks Dad.

Chick: Me too son..

Son: Thanks Mom…

Drunk Aunt: You know that ain’t yo real daddy!!!

Chick spills a pot of hot collards in Drunk Aunt’s lap.

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:29 pm

SCREAMS! LOL you know that kind of stuff happens for real!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

March 16th, 2012
2:30 pm

LOL……@For Real

“that ain’t yo real daddy!!!

LOL

disco

March 16th, 2012
2:30 pm

for real – funny but true sometimes. one of my cousins has a daughter who is a teenager. there’s the guy that is the actual father that the girl looks just like and the guy who has played daddy since she was born. a time or two I’ve caught myself when I was about to say “girl you look just like your father”. always have to pull it back in.

For Real

March 16th, 2012
2:30 pm

I’m with you abc cause I don’t lie and no it not for some nobel or moral reason either, I’m just too dayum lazy to try and keep up with a lie. My motto is “What’s worst thing you can do to me? Leave?”

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
2:30 pm

@SlimUno ~ yes ma’am on the salary requirement. Because I do a lot of business with Hilton Hotels (so they say), I just received a call for a tour of one of their facilites in Las Vegas, Myrtle Beach or Orlando. When the questions got to the “salary” requirement, I was immediately told that “due to my response, I do not qualify to be asked any further questions.” No doubt they heard me laughing before they hung up!

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
2:31 pm

Momma’s baby papa’s maybe

Willie Dynamite

March 16th, 2012
2:31 pm

ABC is about as consistent with the Women lying as you can get. We all know Women are better are it but Men get the bad rap because we get caught up in it waayyy more than Women.

For Real

March 16th, 2012
2:31 pm

Disco has come out of the closet. She just admitted she is the drunk Auntie of her family.

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:33 pm

alrighty men don’t lie or keep secretes or ask questions they don’t want to know. now where did the word cheating come from all women right and the grey areas bc everything isn’t black and white go figure….it was Eve’s fault I forgot!

whew lawd its Friday LOL ;)

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:34 pm

yall are too much!!!!!!!! LOL

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

March 16th, 2012
2:36 pm

Leggs……LOL Me and some others played a hand in bringin the salary requirement up front.

czBrat

March 16th, 2012
2:37 pm

HiYas!

is the room still on topic? until recently i would have said it’s not good to keep secrets in a committed relationship. my views now lean more toward “we don’t have to share EVERYTHING”.

i see comments about vacation sales pitching. are we talking about timeshare? let it be known i was in timeshare sales for several years, but i was one of the nicer gals. or so i’d like to think. LOL

Willie Dynamite

March 16th, 2012
2:39 pm

Brat – vacation update. Came down to Panama and the Dominican. The Dominican won out.

cba

March 16th, 2012
2:40 pm

Two of my married female friends informed me about “the secret stash”. Does my wife have one?? She’s female, so she probably does. You stash and I’ll……………

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

March 16th, 2012
2:41 pm

CZ I always wanted to know do the advertisers get upset that a sales person didn’t make a sale or meet a qouta. Do they pull out and go to another venue?

disco

March 16th, 2012
2:42 pm

drunk auntie? I suppose technically it could fit since I have one niece and one nephew and I does like my drink. still there’s nothing drunk about mine I just have a big mouth – I’ll put my cousin on front street with a “who you think you fooling” but I won’t throw her child under the bus like that.

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:43 pm

lol cba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SlimUno

March 16th, 2012
2:44 pm

BF – So yall were going to go in there like some drug dealers and throw the salary requirement on the table, sit back and say, “Impress me…GO!” lol I bet it would be like a bleeding fish in a lake of sharks.

WD – In the talks of the beau and I trying to figure out where we wanted to go, when he got to Dominican Rep, he was like, oh nawwww I ain’t taking you with me there. :???:

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:45 pm

I am looking forward to a great weekend! a few surprises are in store! ;) Enjoy your weekend good people!

Be Easy! Peace! ;)

kimmie

March 16th, 2012
2:45 pm

Celisea – You are so not a geek about the glasses, but if you are, I am guilty as well! A month ago I got 2 new pairs and a HOT new prescription pair of sunglasses! You can’t tell me nothing! :cool:

Willie – It is the season – I’ve bought 4 new pairs of sandals already, a few new outfits and a purse! Hey, I just got my bonus & yeah I shared some of that bonus with hubs who ordered the new Ipad with his cut!

i'm swiss

March 16th, 2012
2:47 pm

The tricky thing is that the best liars are those who actually convince themselves that their lies are the truth. So there is no need for them to keep track of their story vs. reality because to them, their story is reality.

For Real

March 16th, 2012
2:47 pm

WD: Naw that ain’t the reason men get caught up. It is phyiscally impossible for a man to withstand irrational responses for more than 1 hours and women know this. That why after bombarding dude with this for an hour she hit him with this piece of logic and well reasoned thought

Chick: Look, I love you and you love me..

Dude: Yes, yes

Chick: Here let’s just get it out in the open and then we can move with our lives.

Dude: Naw see it ain’t like… Wait you sayin if I tell you what you want hear we can move on?

Chick: Yes.

Dude: For real? Don’t be playin now.

Chick: I’m not playing baby come on. It’s getting late and we both got to go to work in the morning.

Dude: Okay, okay… It was me that peed on the seat.

Chick: I KNEW IT! YOU NASTY MITTY-FICKY!!!

Dude: Alright now, let just gone and get in bed and get some sleep.

Chick: SLEEP! SLEEP!!! NAW JONDARRIUS, WE STAYIN UP AND WE GON FIND OUT WHAT ELSE YOU BEEN LYING TO ME ABOUT.

Classic case of torture. This is the technique the CIA use when waterboarding doesn’t work.

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
2:48 pm

Kimmie – Glad it’s not just me. I get excited about this kind of stuff. I don’t think I’ll do prescription sunglass but rather transitions. I love sunglasses but I need my glasses almost all the time now so I’m going to try the two in one and see how that goes. My sister keeps a pair of prescription sunglasses. Hotdang!

czBrat

March 16th, 2012
2:48 pm

awwww, willie, you stink!!!! :lol: but have a great time just the same.

bf, nope. resorts are quick to turn over underperforming sales people, so they’re never really impacted by low numbers. and even the better sales people only have to close like 1 in 10 to do well. when you have a sales force of 100-200 strong on the floor 7 days a week at every resort, that 1 in 10 makes you millions.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

March 16th, 2012
2:53 pm

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
2:53 pm

SLEEP! SLEEP!!! NAW JONDARRIUS, WE STAYIN UP AND WE GON FIND OUT WHAT ELSE YOU BEEN LYING TO ME ABOUT.

Cracking up over here….WTH do you come up with these names?

czBrat

March 16th, 2012
2:53 pm

amen! @ swiss 2:47. and that takes considerable skill.

for real, we’ll stop doing that stuff when ya’ll stop falling for it. :grin:

For Real

March 16th, 2012
2:54 pm

Slim: I can’t do those timeshare pitches. I got up and walked out and paid the difference on the price they gave me and told them if anyone of approach me again I will fart in their general direction. Thne I let a quick out just so they know I ain’t playing. My wife at the time was pissed at me.

kimmie

March 16th, 2012
2:55 pm

The transitions make sense for you then. I am near-sighted, so I mostly use mine for driving. Since I work on a computer, I don’t even pull them out at work.

But I get excited about anything new – a new vacuum cleaner would excite me!LOL!!

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
2:55 pm

Or aim right

kimmie

March 16th, 2012
2:57 pm

JONDARRIUS!!LOL!!

The wild part is I bet that’s really someones name!

czBrat

March 16th, 2012
2:57 pm

always say “no. thank you.” at the end of the resort tour. if you really like the product, find it on the resale market for like 90% less.

and careful with telling them you don’t qualify just to get out of taking the tour, cuz a vindictive sales person will turn you in to ‘fulfillment’ and have them deny your gifts AND charge you the market value of your stay. that is all.

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
2:57 pm

Kimmie – I was thinking along those lines. I don’t even put them up. Most times if not in use their on my head. No point in going in and out of my eyeglass case.

Yes yes, buying anything new excites me. I think it’s in the DNA…lol

No timeshares here. Give me a nice plush hotel :)

Willie Dynamite

March 16th, 2012
2:58 pm

Slim – Your Dude is one Smart man. dayum I gots to do better.

4 Real – you are one funny dude. I guess thats why on that show the Closer is a Chick.

Brat – It was real close and I just had to give Panama the thumbs down. No rhyme or reason just wanted DR to get off my list.

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
3:02 pm

@kimmie ~ I love my Transitions and like you, I can’t wear my glasses while at my desk. I can’t even read with my glasses on.

kimmie

March 16th, 2012
3:05 pm

Thank goodness for flex health accounts. Those specs cost a grip!

czBrat

March 16th, 2012
3:10 pm

blog monster must be aggitated today.

i'm swiss

March 16th, 2012
3:10 pm

Brat — I don’t know if I’d call that skill so much as being pathological.

czBrat

March 16th, 2012
3:11 pm

anywho, willie, don’t let me guilt trip you. every year i scratch panama off the must-do list in favor of someplace i haven’t been 100 times already. this year … cabo!!!!!

Purple

March 16th, 2012
3:13 pm

Willie, I am heading to Puerto Rico next month for a poker tournament. I will try not to lose the farm LOL

Purple

March 16th, 2012
3:17 pm

Things that women say that are a setup:

“We need to talk”

“Are you awake?”

“Tell me the truth I won’t get mad”

“He’s just a friend”

“Where’s your credit card”

“Did so and so pay you your money back?”

“Let’s go to th mall”

czBrat

March 16th, 2012
3:22 pm

things men ask that are a setup:

“are you awake?”
“are you tired?”
“are you ‘unavailable’?”
“are you busy?”
“do you know her?”
“do you miss me?”

“have you seen my credit card?”

Willie Dynamite

March 16th, 2012
3:24 pm

Brat – you should love Cabo it is beautiful.

Purp – not the farm man, maybe a few cows but not the whole farm.

Purple

March 16th, 2012
3:24 pm

Canal ZOone you forgot
“Let me just put the tip in”

“Sure, I will tell you before I…”

“I’m working late, I will be right home after work”

Purple

March 16th, 2012
3:25 pm

Willie, no not the farm you have to send certified funds 60 days before you arrive. LOL