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Should couples keep secrets?

When you have been together for a really long time, you begin to figure out what needs to be done to keep the peace in realtionships. A married couple once told me that sometimes total honesty has no place in a relationship! Obviously, you don’t want to hide the fact that you have another spouse or anything, but are there some secrets that couples should keep?

I always believed that I would marry my best friend. Someone I could share everything with, but I am starting to wonder if I am being naive. Why should a couple keep things from each other? What does it mean when it becomes a habit? How do you know what needs to be said, shared, or revealed versus what needs to be kept a secret?

Have you ever wished that you actually had less honesty in a relationship? Do you think that a couple that keeps secrets will eventually end up harming the relationship more than helping it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

289 comments Add your comment

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
12:26 pm

so sad Leggs just ugly! I don’t recall the utter disrespect for Bush like Obama has gotten and trust I dislike baby bush!

cba

March 16th, 2012
12:27 pm

You’re right disco, it does say “re-nig”. A friend sent it to me this morning.
The HATE is about to go off the charts.

Exiled!

March 16th, 2012
12:33 pm

Or is that right?

that’s hate speech isn’t it!?

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:01 pm

you use that word in spades or jive talking boy I tell ya election 2012 will be raw!

Willie Dynamite

March 16th, 2012
1:10 pm

Afternoon All,
On Topic – Everyone has some secrets. I would like to think the things that matter to the relationship and the Family’s well being are not one of them. With that being said I don’t want full disclosure because most of it is neither here nor there.
I will for the sake of discussion call foul on the play to a few of you for having a Secret stash. If you are spouting about honesty and all that in one sentence but encouraging a stash in the next then thats BS. My take is that if you Married the right one you wouldn’t need to have a “SECRET” stash. My Real dudes won’t trip on you having your own money. I would however trip if she felt the need to have a secret stash.

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
1:13 pm

Oh snap, it really spells it out like that, disco? SHAMEFUL.

Willie Dynamite

March 16th, 2012
1:13 pm

Slim – re; Hilton Head. Food – You have to try Roastfish and Cornbread. Excellent excellent Seafood restaurant. Also try the Sea Shack. They are both kind hole in the wallish but great. Stay away from the touristy type places by talking to real locals.

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
1:14 pm

Or is that right?

that’s hate speech isn’t it!?

Now, that’s sad and funny at the same time to ask.

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
1:15 pm

Oh well, WillieD. Guess you have to trip.

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:16 pm

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
1:17 pm

And, WillieD, my stance on the secret stash really rests on being in a relationship. By that, you are still single. Have a stash, even if you’re living together, you’re still single. If you should marry, and you marry the right one, commingling of the funds is fine by me.

Willie Dynamite

March 16th, 2012
1:22 pm

Leggs – I was hoping you would clarify. That was flying in the face of everything i thought I knew about you. Ok, all is right with you and me. Thought I was gonna have to come see you bout some thangs. hahaha

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:24 pm

the perks of married life ;)

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
1:30 pm

Funny, WillieD!

SlimUno

March 16th, 2012
1:32 pm

WD – Your suggestions have been duly noted. Thanks for the heads up ;-)

I came across this deal where you can stay at a resort for only $100/night but you have to go to one of those timeshare presentations…I’ve done that before in the past but I really am not feeling like dealing with the harassment for 90 minutes on why I don’t want to purchase :lol:

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
1:35 pm

@SlimUno ~ the facilities are beautiful (done it 2x) but the sales people are a pain in the arse and refuses to take “not interested” as an answer. Getting out of there w all your sensibilities is quite a challenge.

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:35 pm

LOL Slim I have done that in Vegas….I just pretend I am a millionaire and sit through and get the freebies

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:35 pm

leggs listen, get the stuff, and cut it short and leave lol don’t feed into the sales rep

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
1:37 pm

Am I the only one that get excited when buying stuff like new glasses? Am I a geek for that? LOL I don’t know if it’s been a year but I’m ready for new glasses. I’m going back to square frames.

Willie Dynamite

March 16th, 2012
1:37 pm

Leggs – heyal in my house it wouldn’t even have to be Secret. All I see is a bunch of receipts. She is the CFO and i don’t get involved unless something is outta wack.

Slim – That is the longest 90 minutes and usually it is around 2-2.5 hrs.

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:39 pm

C I wanted to ask yall am I the only one who still shop @ Fingerhut?!? LOL these past two days and their spring sales on their beb comforters are on it! LOL yeah I got a Fingerhut card #dead LOL

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:39 pm

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
1:40 pm

Lady – I haven’t bought something from Fingerhut in eons. I think I was still living at home. Any good stuff?

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:41 pm

yeah they have revamped

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:41 pm

just got 6 down feather pillows for 40 bucks! winning!

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
1:42 pm

Lady – Cool….I’ll check out the website. I don’t do too much online purchasing. I’m a chicken to have my stuff out there for one and two, I love the feel of walking in a mall…lol Or store

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:43 pm

C I hate shopping in stores love online shopping between ebay and fingerhut here lately I need to go sit down…..

I really need to become a conservative spender and stick to my Quicken payout and save

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
1:45 pm

Lady – Nothing like putting on something cool and a pair of flip flops :) and hitting the mall

Willie Dynamite

March 16th, 2012
1:46 pm

This must seriously be a Woman thing. Everytime the weather changes I start seeing bags of new isht in the house. SMH.

Cel – You are not a geek, The Wifey and baby girl both wear glasses. I guess according to my plan they can get new glasses every year. They treat that day like X-mas shopping by going to 3-4 different places.

SlimUno

March 16th, 2012
1:47 pm

I’ve done it for a trip to Orlando as well as for some giveaways in the Bahamas. It’s almost like they get mad at you because they already know you are just there for the free incentives. It almost becomes an interrogation on why you do not want to buy. I’d really hate to have that job.

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:47 pm

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:47 pm

spring bedding is essential!

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:48 pm

C you can have it I would rather put in flip flops and hit a patio for margaritas lol

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:49 pm

meant put on

Leggs

March 16th, 2012
1:50 pm

@Lady ~ you have to listen to their sales pitch, then you can get out of there.

Exactly SlimUno, Exactly!

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
1:50 pm

WillieD – Whew…so it’s not just me :) Glasses are so not what they use to be. I can see it now. I’m going all out. The last couple of years my employer change insurance so I paid out of pocket. Well guess what, they are now in network and I don’t have to pay…well the majoritiy I won’t have to pay. I’m going sexy frames, transition…all of it… :)

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
1:51 pm

Lady – LOL…I hear you :)

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
1:51 pm

Leggs I have the art down to a pact! I know when to exit with or without the freebies lol

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:01 pm

After seeing OWN’s ratings soar following an interview with Bobbi Kristina Brown along with Whitney Houston’s brother and sister-in-law, and their own boost from landing a Dionne Warwick interview, ABC News is trying to secure the second biggest get: A conversation with Bobby Brown.

abc

March 16th, 2012
2:04 pm

I don’t ask questions I don’t want the answers to, lola, but she’s told me I’m the best anyway. And if I wasn’t, so what? It’s not as if it’s the MOST important thing in the world to us.

Lady, I submit that men don’t lie and keep secrets much. Sure, there’s Bernie Madoff and high profile stuff like that, but most men don’t want to bother with keeping up with what’s a secret and what’s a lie. In fact, most men just plain suck at lying due to lack of method and practice.

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:05 pm

I hear ya abc!!!!!! It’s a man’s world ~James Brown ;)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

March 16th, 2012
2:08 pm

Hey Slim1 tell them you make a small yearly salary and they will be glad to see you walk out the door. It worked in Vegas and since they had me in the office they had to give the promotion. LOL…..they wont interrogate you any longer if they know you fall out their annual requirements.

Purple

March 16th, 2012
2:08 pm

abc is preaching, LOL

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:10 pm

LOL BF!!!!!!!!!!!

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
2:11 pm

I’m offended that abc won’t reply to any of us that piggyback his posts but came back for lolalee and Lady…lol

I don’t know why he believes women are the masters at lying and deception when men have it in their dna…oh maybe because we’re better at it. Just don’t do it as often as men or have lying oozing from our pores…lol

Maybe that’s why he won’t respond…. :)

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
2:13 pm

It’s set…eye appointment Monday…new glasses by next Monday :) I already know what I want :) I’m excited

Celisea

March 16th, 2012
2:13 pm

I’m hitting the treadmill in 45 minutes. I’m feeling porkly :(

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

March 16th, 2012
2:17 pm

Save yourself time and frustration, I’ve been to some where they almost lock you in the building trying to get you to buy something. That’s when you to have say to them I got two broken hands and can’t sign nothing…….LOL

Lady~

March 16th, 2012
2:18 pm

LMBAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now we know men lie and keep secrets that is not even an argument who is better @ it is another blog day! ha!

disco

March 16th, 2012
2:21 pm

willie d – re the secret stash. leggs clarified her position but I know countless married women who keep a little something put up that hubbies don’t know about. I think (some) mothers teach their daughters to do this.

lady – shut up!!! you get a fingerhut catalog??? some of us were recently talking about all the good fingerhut finds but hadn’t heard anything about it in a while.