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Facebook reveals two wives

Did you hear the one about the guy with two wives busted on Facebook? It’s not a joke! It actually happened, once again proving that Facebook has become a blessing and a curse in many relationships, as many of us can attest to.

What I find really interesting in this particular story is that a general background check may or may not have provided any information about this bigamist. It makes you really think about how well we really know the people we date and ultimately marry!

When it comes to determining who is lying to you, do you think you are a good judge of character? Do you think asking more questions or doing a “thorough” background check is something that should or will become standard dating protocol for single people?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

336 comments Add your comment

Lily

March 15th, 2012
7:14 am

I’m pretty much spot on….the vast majority if the time. Usually when I am, that only sparks backlash thus validating my doubts. You don’t need anything but a good pair of eyes and ears and the ability to no be easily swayed.

SlimUno

March 15th, 2012
8:11 am

Good morning all…

Rick

March 15th, 2012
8:20 am

Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complementing each other, but they don’t mean it either.

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
8:33 am

hmmmmmm Good Morning MIA!

Audra

March 15th, 2012
8:40 am

I am apparently behind the times, because I don’t google absolutely everyone I date before the first date. Maybe later I will, but I’m not that paranoid up front. Of course, as a relationship progresses you have to keep your eyes and ears open – a liar or cheat will reveal themselves pretty quickly. When I was younger I couldn’t tell this, now I can smell it a mile away. One of the benefits of being nearly 40!

My online footprint is pretty large (of course, Audra is not my name. :) ) so I know that men can find me if they want to, and some have admitted to googling me before the first date. That’s fine, but suspiciousness, digging through my stuff, checking my cell phone? Not! In my experience, those who are the least trusting are the ones you can’t trust. It’s like the thief who’s always afraid he’s being stolen from. One of the MANY reasons I don’t date jealous, possessive people.

Exiled!

March 15th, 2012
8:42 am

would a background check reveal an unregistered marriage?

Diva? :???:

Donnie

March 15th, 2012
8:52 am

First time posting on here…I’ve paid attention for a long time to this blog. That said, personally, I don’t think couples should be FB friends. I pride myself in evolving with the times, but I’m a bit old fashioned about this. I believe less is more, and more is too much. Once you become FB friends with your partner, the first thing they’re going to do is go through your pics. Who wants to have to go through that? Then, their relatives want to be your FB friends, which is basically a way for them to be nosey as well. This can potentially lead to all kinds of trust issues, with your friends posting on your wall, and your partner and their relatives questioning them on it. So to avoid all of that, just DON’T do it.

Audra

March 15th, 2012
8:53 am

I know the answer to that Exiled – no. A check on US Search or one of those sites only reveals what is public record.

disco

March 15th, 2012
9:22 am

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

March 15th, 2012
9:23 am

FB is not for me, they can have it. I believe the way Lily states it be a good listener, keep your eyes open, and rely on your instincts. Right or wrong the experience you gain is valuable.

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
9:27 am

Donnie I agree!!!! My fb page doesn’t invovle my relationship @ all….That is not its purpose for me

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
9:31 am

Morning,

I don’t do FB, nor liars, nor cheats…so forth and so on. I too, will agree with Lily. Keep eyes and ears opened. The only people that have it THAT good are people that go straight, be straight, keep it straight. I don’t care how many women you have and how well you can conceal and have it going on….that’s on them because if you’re a liar and a cheat you are flawed. All flaws are revealed in time. That’s what the man upstairs do….if you have honest intents and want to do right by all yet you have a no dogooder, he’ll pull back the covers. You have to be willing to hear it and see it though when he brings it to you. Now if you’re in denial and just won’t see/hear, nothing he can do with that.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

March 15th, 2012
9:39 am

Cely for real I wonder if we are related

Leggs

March 15th, 2012
9:40 am

Good morning.

I just started being active on my FB account. It’s amazing to me how so many chronicles their every move.

@Donnie ~ welcome! I agree with you. From what I’ve read and heard, FB is full of messy, dumb arse trysts!

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
9:42 am

Hey there Blackfoote :) Reckon we’re sibs?

Mike P

March 15th, 2012
9:45 am

I don’t like spies and snoops, if you have a question me, just ask.
If I choose to answer, I will; If I refuse to entertain the question, I won’t answer. Either way, she’ll know where I stand. If she ask me a question that could’ve only came up by doing a spy-search on me, she’s out.

Bluzgirl

March 15th, 2012
9:49 am

FB can be really messy when in a relationship. Ya’ll have heard me talk about it before. Right now, I’m having an issue even though the relationship is over. I would get off of FB, but I do social networking for two non profits I’m involved with.

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
9:51 am

Mike P – You can only manage how your behavior. You can’t tell another adult what to do. You just say that so “matter of factly”…..I’m a grown woman and I want to look, I’m looking. I shouldn’t have to but I’m an adult. Like it, lick it, lump it :)

While I believe folks should really just do the right thing (I know, too much like right) as we are plainly outnumbered by the selfish and greedy, you CANNOT dictate to grown folks how they should act. Really what’s the harm done if what you say matches what she finds? That’s a rhetorical question my good man….LOL

disco

March 15th, 2012
9:51 am

mike p – I think we discussed snooping once before. got some interesting comments too. I’m not a go through your wallet, look in your medicine cabinet kind of snoop but I will use the resources available to me to verify information. while most folks like to present themselves as straight up the truth is there are some lying, fronting so and sos out there.

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
9:51 am

Sorry…I was revising my sentence…that should have been…”you can only manage your behavior” I didn’t erase all the way.

SlimUno

March 15th, 2012
9:52 am

The beau and I are on each other’s pages but we don’t have our relationship status posted nor are we all over each others pages. If you looked at my page it may not even be evident who the beau actually is. lol

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
9:54 am

I think someone said it’s paranoia to google ahead of going out…I beg to differ. I’m not going to do a background check but looking sometimes can say the trouble of having to listen out for things :)

Prime example: I gave dude my phone number. He called. I pulled his number up and vwalla…in a woman’s name. My assumption and justification for striking through his name was that was his wife. Surely he and what his sister (?) ain’t sharing a plan. Just saying.

Mike P

March 15th, 2012
9:55 am

@Leggs: yes, it boggles my mind about how much personal stuff people put on their FB account… pictures, places traveled, friends, family, children, schools, current city, birth-dates, employment history, email accounts, cell numbers, and everything else you won’t dare place on the internet… these days, people don’t have a sense of personal space and they don’t set up their own personal boundaries.

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
9:56 am

Places like FB makes me feel naked, exposed.

Leggs

March 15th, 2012
9:56 am

I would never put the status of my relationship on FB.

@disco ~ I’m with you, I’m not a snoop type of gal. Don’t go through pant pockets (unless I’m doing the laundry), don’t look in his wallet, don’t check jacket pockets in the closet, don’t check gym bags, etc. If you have to hide anything, that’s on you, because in the light everything will be revealed EVENTUALLY….

Leggs

March 15th, 2012
9:58 am

@Celisea ~ I have a good friend who’s phone is listed under a woman’s name. I don’t believe they’re presently sleeping together, but I do believe they have years ago. One he “hits” something, he tends to keep them in his back pocket. So, I believe he pops in and out various times in the year (lol).

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
10:00 am

disco me either never……….

Leggs

March 15th, 2012
10:01 am

Ummm, yeah, I see how that now sounds reading it back (lolol).

5, 4, 3, 2, 1….

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
10:01 am

Leggs – I wouldn’t doubt it…lol This dude constantly asked me “soooo you have to be in a relationship to give love?” Umm, yeah buddy. Funny when I went to Florida last year (business trip), he said “Guess what??!!?? I’m going to coincedentially be there the same time as you and I can drive down (to where I was staying) and pick you up for dinner…or something”

Long pause here and blank stare…that’s all Imma say. Sometimes I wonder where folks come up with stuff…lol And if it’s not your wife’s name, you’re still in a strike through you name because you should be handling yours well enough to HAVE YOUR OWN PHONE/PLAN!

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
10:01 am

C I use it mainly for quotes and music that is the extent of it I may check in periodically of where I am but its nothing major….I cut up on twitter and just be free the audience is wider on FB and looking for info lol

single and happy

March 15th, 2012
10:02 am

on the judge of character issue, if you keep your ears and eyes open the signs will be there. being 50 and never married, I don’t pay any attention to the first 3 to 6 months of a relationship because that’s just their representative. We’ll both start to reveal who we really are after that.
on the face book issue: it’s a great way to keep up with, and find friends from the past. but to put your every move on there, I would never do that. And I’m only going to be friends with people I know, not just because someone sends me an invite.

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
10:02 am

“getting a strike through your name”

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
10:03 am

Lady – Gotcha. I have a FB profile but it’s anonymous and funny I still get poked and requests. I just quietly ignore…lol

Donnie

March 15th, 2012
10:04 am

Yeah, I wouldn’t put the status of my relationship on FB either.

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
10:06 am

I ignore quotes and those private messages from randoms all the time……………

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
10:06 am

I did communicate with buddy for a few months in my defense of not cutting folks too quickly but my mind was pretty much made up. I needed to perform due diligence. Shoot, I might have prematurely cut off a good one….lol

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
10:06 am

meant I ignore POKES lol I love my quotes!

Leggs

March 15th, 2012
10:10 am

@Celisea ~ I feel your 10:01. ” Sometimes I wonder where folks come up with stuff…” It’s quite interesting hearing their creative take on things.

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
10:11 am

you can create another identity online a virtual self if you will and FB is just another adult playground and it has rules and you create your own boundaries or have complete open access. You are in control…..

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
10:12 am

Leggs – Have me SMH.

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
10:13 am

I don’t even have my chat options accessible…….I promise I just go on there to do me really not interact on others pages….I play hard on my own page and just stay in my FB lane……….

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
10:16 am

the funny people to me who declare they don’t do FB and remind you how much you post and can tell you everything you post….silent fb stalkers and or fans are amusing…just damn nosy!

i'm swiss

March 15th, 2012
10:17 am

“Places like FB makes me feel naked, exposed.”

Small world, C. I enjoy exposing myself on FB, too. ;-) :lol:

disco

March 15th, 2012
10:18 am

O/T 1 – we had a long discussion on here once about serial killers. I went to barnes and noble last night. turns out they have a $5 movie shelf. I got a 7.5 hour long documentary on america’s serial killers. don’t know when I’ll get to watch it but it’s added to the library.

O/T 2 – story about 8 year old who was kidnapped as a baby by the babysitter. I’m sure kidnapper will get time but I swear if I was the mother I’d rather they not give her time but give me free reign to whoop her behind whenever the mood hit me.

Lady~

March 15th, 2012
10:20 am

FB will automatically suggest folks to be friends that know each other and folks of other folks that you know so it becomes a small world and it leaves room to assume and infer other folks business….

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
10:21 am

Swiss – Imma say this and it’s gonna be sort of “out of character for me” b/n/r…lean in a bit closer though cause I can’t have folks thinking otherwise….

I just like your little nasty freaky deaky side. I don’t like folks that wear “freaky” because that’s just a little to nasty for my taste and makes me think they want nothing else, nothing of substance. But I just like you’re little freaky blog persona. Don’t disappoint me now :)

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
10:23 am

How about I was up until almost two wrapping up a couple of projects and I don’t have to meet with my manager until Tuesday. I thought it was today. Dern it!

i'm swiss

March 15th, 2012
10:23 am

:oops: Awww, thanks, C. That’s me — h0rny with a heart of gold. (But did I mention h0rny?) ;-) :lol:

Leggs

March 15th, 2012
10:23 am

Your’re preaching to the choir, sis!!!

Celisea

March 15th, 2012
10:23 am

2:00 not two