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Dating: Act your age!

When you start dating someone new, you probably pay attention to how mature they are. While it is important to know you can have fun with them, you also should know they can handle their business. As in, grown up business: working, taking care of responsibilities, etc.

I meet a lot of single people who say they thought they were dating an adult but it was their “representative” that was the adult. The reality was they behaved like a spoiled child when they didn’t get their way. Or they had the emotional maturity of a teenager.

Have you ever met someone really great but just didn’t act his age? How do you know when you are a dating a man or a boy? How can you tell if she is a woman or a young girl pretending to be a grown up?

Shouldn’t maturity – or lack of- be a real deal breaker in dating? Why do so many of us stick with those immature people then complain about their …immaturity?

Has anyone ever told you that you needed to grow up? Did you take heed and take a look at how you conducted yourself in a relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

282 comments Add your comment

Bill Clinton

March 13th, 2012
6:36 am

Me???….Grow up…..Then I’d miss out on all the young chicks……WHT is the matter with you, Weird Diver…..Dating ain’t big head surgery………

Lily

March 13th, 2012
7:11 am

Being a woman and “emotions” are synonymous and go hand and hand. Even so, voicing and airing grievances shouldn’t be labeled as such. Yes I’ve had to say “grow up”……immaturiry is when one lacks the ability to talk about issues without shrugging it off because you’ve raised to believe a woman’s concers are a result of her emotions.

nelson

March 13th, 2012
7:58 am

That is a great question. I really like it. I say maturity and responsible are synominous. beign responsible for you actions. If someone is not responsible they are not mature. It can happen to anybody, even a Doctor.
There was a Dr. in Syracuse, hit a pedestrian with his car and continued on down the road. Thats about all there is to it. Patsy Cline[singer] started supporting her family by going around to the beer-joints and singing when her pappy hit the road and brought the money home to mom.

Pamela

March 13th, 2012
8:31 am

Great topic. It happens more than people want to admit. Men act like they want their women to be their mother. They do not want to held accountable for their verbiage and actions. I like to be fair, but this time I think of nothing bad to say about the ladies. Sorry….smile

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
8:44 am

‘Men act like they want their women ……..’

sounds like someone owning a lot of cats and has got chronic cobweb tetonic plague!

Good Morning Blogovillia!

Suffering Wife

March 13th, 2012
8:44 am

I believe that maturity in a relationship is huge! If you’ve been with someone for many years, life can get complicated with children, in laws, illness, careers, etc. That person you may have married may have been mature at that point but when life gets hard they can’t handle “growing up” in order to handle difficult situations and create balance. I believe that is why marriages don’t last because there is always that one person who can’t put on their grown man/woman panties. Life changes requires one’s maturity level to grow. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen….

SlimUno

March 13th, 2012
9:06 am

Good morning,

No one wants to be with a tight wad but at the same time you want someone who is mature when they need to be. There is nothing wrong with letting your hair down, acting silly, knowing how to have a good ole time but when the heat is turned up, Imma need you to stand up and handle things for whatever the situation calls for. I don’t need you trying to crawl back up into yo mama’s womb

Mike P

March 13th, 2012
9:18 am

Have you ever met someone really great but just didn’t act her age?
–Nope, Someone really great would act her age.

How do you know when you are a dating a woman or a little girl?
–A little girl doesn’t take responsibility for her actions; she blames and points the finger at everyone except herself. She falls to peices when things don’t go her way and everything is a freaking crisis.

–A woman however, takes full responsibility for her actions, decisions, and her current circumstances. She doesn’t whine & cry, or blame others for her own faults. She learns to “keep-it-together” when faced with adversity (read: life’s little lessons).

How can you tell if she is a woman or a young girl pretending to be a grown up? A woman will behave and make decisions with maturity and self-respect at all times and not just when it appears convenient.

Hola

disco

March 13th, 2012
9:19 am

good morning. I’m surprised at all of the “good topics”. I don’t see it (insert shrug here). I guess I’d grant immaturity passes to anyone under 30 who might still be feeling their way but there comes a time when you have to let go of childish things and a time when you need to start taking care of yourself (hence my strong opposition to parents supporting adult children and adult children who allow themselves to be supported). I’d have to implement a zero tolerance policy on childishness. heck, I don’t let kids get away with but so much childishness. that’s not to say that grown folks can’t have fun or a good time but they ought to know the boundaries.

Leggs

March 13th, 2012
9:22 am

Good morning.

Being responsible for yourself and doing what you want is one thing. When you have a family or even in a committed relationship your maturity on how you handle strive says a lot about you. To sulk in the corner and stop speaking until you work things out is not a good sign.

‘Men act like they want their women ……..’ [to be their mother]

sounds like someone owning a lot of cats and has got chronic cobweb tetonic plague! – Only you, Ex can turn that harmless statement into cobwebs and cats.

Celisea

March 13th, 2012
9:31 am

Morning,

No comment…for now :)

Row 125, seat 11B

March 13th, 2012
9:52 am

Good Morning all….

Nothing to add to the topic, but saw something on another AJC blog that made me say “DAMN…..”

“Political Insider Large swaths of GOP voters in Alabama, Mississippi want ban on interracial marriages”
http://blogs.ajc.com/political-insider-jim-galloway/2012/03/13/large-swaths-of-gop-voters-in-alabama-mississippi-want-ban-on-interracial-marriages/

dyslexicbunny

March 13th, 2012
9:55 am

Does that really surprise you? It doesn’t for me.

dyslexicbunny

March 13th, 2012
9:57 am

Also, a large number of those voters still think Obama is Muslim. facepalm…

MsMarriedUp

March 13th, 2012
9:58 am

ooo…this is a good question considering the word ‘dating’ once upon a time was used by girls and boys in the young ages…9-10 up to 16-17 from my recall. Rarely do I recall older people refer to themselves as dating.

Now we have ‘adults’ calling themselves dating instead of referring to themselves as seeing such and such, or friends with such and such.

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
10:05 am

Leggs?

That comment is harmless? Really?

How can somebody start off this morning,no context,not even a personal man story but just take it from the cherry top ..then bashing men? Ha? U don’t see that?

Really?

disco

March 13th, 2012
10:05 am

okay – it appears we’ve got a janky topic today or at least folks don’t have much to say about it. not that I’ve got a better one but I’ll will spout a few off topics.

first, I broke out a pair of ken cole sandals this morning. first time this year. feels good not to be wearing socks.

second, I didn’t mind my realtor sending neighborhood market reports when things were all good. got one this morning and it just irked me. foreclosures/short sales are a mother. while I don’t yet feel trapped I’ll be glad when things get back right.

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
10:06 am

On topic:

Women act very childish! :lol:

there u have it! @Leggs

Let’s see how nice that sounds!

Celisea

March 13th, 2012
10:08 am

The ability to look outside and around yourself and digest the thoughts and opinions of others…as valid….means a great deal and shows maturity.

SlimUno

March 13th, 2012
10:12 am

I let one riiiippppp yesterday like a dude and The Beau heard it….mature or immature Hmmmm? He said that wasn’t cute at all but hey, i’m human. I told him I’d try to make them more ‘ladylike’ in the future :lol:

Leggs

March 13th, 2012
10:12 am

@Ex ~ yes, I see the comment as being harmless. There are many men who want a woman to act like their mother, coddle them, unconditionally accept their actions good or bad w/o much mouth and to let them do their do.

“Women act very childish!” – What do you want from me Ex? I agree with this statement as well. There are childish acting women walking amongst us. This isn’t groundbreaking news.

disco

March 13th, 2012
10:16 am

slim – you funny. whether or not it was mature/immature depends. you said he heard it like he wasn’t supposed to hear it. were you in the same room or a different room? if you were in a different room we can make the assumption that you didn’t intend for him to hear you and therefore you can’t be deemed to be immature. of course if you intended for him to hear it, if you were right up on him, if you cocked your leg and pointed your backside in his direction I might have to call you immature.

Celisea

March 13th, 2012
10:17 am

Leggs – You make a VERY valid point. From a man’s view (some men, not all), it’s just not important or that deep because it’s the woman pointing out issues or concerns coming from the man. Honestly though, should her thoughts be discounted? No, not at all. Yet if said man have issues or concerns, he’s got no problem bringing those issues or concerns to the front. AND he expects her to listen and validate. Like I said not all men and to be fair that happens on both sides.

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
10:17 am

There u have it.. U (the lady in question) are not debating the topic then. She is venting..men act like..

I will leave uall to coddle her..

A debate to me is putting something on the table(some facts,even not valid to back ur point)

She comes here with a conclusion and well..

I guess uall a good at deductive reason based on ur experiences

Next

Chris

March 13th, 2012
10:19 am

Actually Muslim people view president Obama as a Muslim. When you have a Muslim father you man or woman or considered “Muslim”.

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
10:22 am

Chris?

I view u as part of me(human) even tho u don’t

how does that affect U?

SlimUno

March 13th, 2012
10:24 am

disco – I love how you just went right in and dissected that lol…Um he stepped into the bathroom and when he heard it, he flew the door open like, “WTH was that?!!” At first I told him it was the tv but I couldn’t hold my laugh in and he was like EWWWWW, you sound like a grown ass man & you’re getting besides yourself. You need to go back to trying to hide it”. :roll:

Celisea

March 13th, 2012
10:26 am

MMeello – What did you decide on your juicy news?

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
10:27 am

Slim?

Letting one rip(loudly) in ur house has nothing to do with maturity..more with Reality and taste.

I let it rip at home All the time,then suppress in public

I can’t be a slave in public and at home too

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
10:28 am

Moving on Right along Cel :arrow:

New Day!

Chris

March 13th, 2012
10:28 am

On this topic the acting your age and maturity tips in favor of men. they say women mature faster and maybe that’s true…..to a point then after age 24 men definitely pull way ahead. Women even pushing towards 40 still are chasing fantasies, making bad decisions in men and looking even more do for a man to come along and. “save” them from their financial and past mistakes from dealing with the wrong men and still don’t know what they want. The recent issue of black enterprise shows black women have a net worth of $100. That’s right, $100. Men on the other hand when we have a clear vision we know who and what type of woman we want and the life we want to have. We do what we need to. You can call a man cheap if you want but some things are being “responsible”. Trips, shoes and hand bags aren’t keeping. Lights on in retirement. It’s funny a woman handling multiple things we call a “super woman”. A man handling multiple things is just “a man”. That’s what we do.

Celisea

March 13th, 2012
10:29 am

Good for you MMeello! Glad for you!

Leggs

March 13th, 2012
10:32 am

A debate on the “lady in question’s” post is not responding with → “sounds like someone owning a lot of cats and has got chronic cobweb tetonic plague!” Where’s the debate in that???

kimmie - new black belt!

March 13th, 2012
10:33 am

Morning All!

I don’t really have anything to say on the topic. I will say all this “men versus women” or bashing of either gender on here is immature. But that’s just me.

Holla!

SlimUno

March 13th, 2012
10:34 am

Ex – I call it reality but are you fellas living in a fantasy world to not expect some good blasts to come out of the hinneys of your womenfolk errry now and then? And why is okay for yall to let em rip anywhere, at any time, to any degree of noise and smell. Now mind you, this nut blew one of those silent but deadly ones in the car right before we got out and it nearly fainted. But let me do a loud but orderless one and all hell done broke loose. WACK!

In case you didn't know....

March 13th, 2012
10:36 am

In case you didn’t know………..discussing passing gas, farting, pooting is CRASS!!

Leggs

March 13th, 2012
10:37 am

“hinney” :lol: :lol: Haven’t heard that in a long time…right up there with weenie and t…t (lol).

Leggs

March 13th, 2012
10:38 am

@In case ~ be so very thankful you weren’t here when we were discussing having a “whew” moment after leaving the bathroom!

Celisea

March 13th, 2012
10:39 am

Wow…my sister’s entire team/department/floor was just laid off. She works for Humana. Their last day is May 14th but don’t have to come back AT ALL. They can pack today and go if they want.

disco

March 13th, 2012
10:39 am

slim – yeah I’m a bit bored this a.m. you know – idle minds and all.

here’s another off topic (sorry in case) but it ties in with slim’s gas this morning. how come yesterday I had an off blog discussion with some folks re daylight savings time. the number one downside was determined not to be the lost hour of sleep or leaving for work in the dark but having to get your body back regular. folks said that lost hour prevented them from getting their morning dump in before leaving the house.

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
10:42 am

Celisea?

As a Christian do u have see the Bible as being gender ‘biased’.sometimes against women especially when viewed in the lenses of contemporary politics..women’s lib,equal rights,gender sensitivity etc?

This is way way off topic

Celisea

March 13th, 2012
10:44 am

MMeello – No, I don’t see it biased personally but I know many that don’t follow or have the Holy Spirit to interpret and reveal will see it that way. The one thing that most don’t know (please no one, that’s not meant to be offensive) is that you cannot read the bible through natural eyes….they are just words at that point. It takes the Holy Spirit to reveal and take you below the surface in understanding and digesting and getting the many folds that one passage can reveal or unfold.

disco

March 13th, 2012
10:44 am

celisea – wow is right. what’s the benefit of staying from now until may, if any?

ex – from potty talk to the bible? really man?

Celisea

March 13th, 2012
10:47 am

disco – None…no benefit. My sister was packing as we spoke…lol She said normal pay is guaranteed until May, after that severance pay kicks in.

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
10:47 am

Slim?

It depends on how a woman packages herself. That is the facade that lives an impression in a man’s mind.

U see how we see the Queen of England…royal robes flowing,gold and silver..etc who would thunk that woman will disrobe and foisted her ugly hips with cracky skin thighs on a stool to take a dump?

Illusions?

So u walking in ur stiletto legs shining and ur back up walking like a gazelle in an African savannah…the men dont have nasty odor thoughts in their brains. Illusion!

They are thinking ’satin sheets’ :lol:

SlimUno

March 13th, 2012
10:48 am

In case – You may have a point there so instead of Talking about it, i’ll let this speak for itself Pnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnbbbbrrrrrrrreeeeeennnnnntwwooooo :oops:

disco – Now out of all the time change discussions I’ve ever had, i’ve not ever had one about it messing up your dump schedule….How’s that for crass? :lol:

Exiled!

March 13th, 2012
10:50 am

Disco?

Im just mixing and flexing to make it excite g since u bored(change of topics)

U live in the kountry in SC and those folks can be nasty

I don’t want u to get bored,finger urself on the job and get arrested!

:lol: .

Bluzgirl

March 13th, 2012
10:53 am

I seek out older men and have found that the ones I end up with are very immature! I’m a mature, responsible woman…I’ll admit that I can be very immature when it comes to some things. I love to have fun with a man and cut up and laugh, but he needs to be mature when it comes down to it. I just have yet to find that man…I’m not giving up, though. I know he’s out there.

Mike P

March 13th, 2012
10:56 am

Wow… Well I really don’t miss high school at all; thanks for the reminder guys.. great job!!!

Bluzgirl

March 13th, 2012
11:00 am

Also…I have an ex psycho who yelled at me for accidentally burping in front of him! I’m sorry, but I’m human and I burp from time to time!