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Archive for March, 2012

Recipe for romance

It is quite possible to go through your entire dating life and still be romantically challenged. Romance comes naturally to some and God bless those who have a talent for it. The misguided people who think that a porn video and pizza delivery is a romantic night need a little help in the romance department. NO judgement! Well, maybe a little. How do people get away with being romantically challenged for so long?

Well, let’s help those people so they can keep the objects of their desire: what do you think is a recipe for romance?

What would you advise a person to do to score some romance points?

What is the most romantic moment you shared with someone?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Know why you got dumped?

Imagine dating someone for a couple of weeks and believing things were progressing to something serious, then the person up and disappears. There is no explanation, no message, no post-it note, no text message.

Now, most people move on and wonder from time to time what happened. Then there are those who sort of go out of their way to get an answer because they think they deserve to know.

Do you think it is important to know why you got dumped? I think this may be something that women struggle with more than guys. I rarely hear men complain about the disappearing acts of women they are interested in.

Why is it so hard to let someone know they are not the one? If you knew the reason you were dumped, do you think it would be helpful to know?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Know why you got dumped? »

Dating: Better to wait for divorce papers?

I met a lot of men who respond to my “Are you truly single?” question with “I’m headed for divorce” or basically divorced, or my all time favorite “sleeping in separate rooms” – all responses that still qualify as married. Married as in NOT single.

I can understand why someone would be anxious to move on and find a new love, but is it better to wait for the official divorce papers before you actively pursue something serious?

I have a friend who did not wait to get serious with her “pending divorce” boyfriend. She moved in with him, redecorated his house, and pretty much replaced wife #1. It wasn’t long before she was being handed a summons to appear in court. She was tagged as the homewrecker who prevented any reconciliation.

I am sure if she had to do it all over again, she would have kept things friendly until her romantic interest was officially divorce. Do you have a problem seeing someone who is recently separated?

My friend Henry said that if someone is not …

Continue reading Dating: Better to wait for divorce papers? »

Dating: How do you ask for space?

It is common and perfectly normal to want to spend every waking moment with someone you are crazy about. A new romance means things are hot and heavy, right? What happens when you are ready to slip into a routine with more balance, but your partner is stuck on hot and heavy?

How do you ask someone to give you a little space without totally derailing the “budding” relationship that is still growing? If you want a little less together time, does that necessarily mean you aren’t into the person anymore?

My friend told me he was down with the whole “see each other every weekend plan” in the beginning, but his lady is clinging to that pattern tighter than he is. He still really likes her, but wondered if he pulls away a bit, would she consider that a red flag he isn’t interested.

Obviously he has to be honest with her, but I am curious if others have been in this situation. What did you do or say when you wanted space but not spaaaaaacce?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, …

Continue reading Dating: How do you ask for space? »

Dating mistakes: Caught snooping?

What would you do if you were invited to your date’s house for the first time and they found you snooping? One of our readers decided to go on an a fact finding mission in her date’s house. He sort of caught her red handed and she made some excuse up, but she could read the disappointment on his face!

I have to admit, I have been where she is. In my case, I suspected he wasn’t truly divorced and I turned out to be right. Had I been wrong though, I don’t know how I could have recovered. It is difficult and embarrassing to admit to someone you don’t trust them or believe what they tell you.

How do you recover from dating mistakes? If you really like someone, do you try to confess and explain?

Have you ever been caught snooping for information about your date? What did you do? How would you react if you walked in on your date snooping through your things?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Dating mistakes: Caught snooping? »

Most embarrassing date?

If you have spend any time on the dating scene, you will embarrass yourself on a date. It’s one of those things that happens inevitably, because we are human. We try to put our best foot forward, impress our date, and present a great image because we want them to like us. Sometimes, things go awry and the next thing you know you are trying to play off a slip, fall, or foot-in-mouth comment.

I think embarrassing moments on a date can be a blessing in disguise, though! How you recover and handle the situation can actually impress your date more, endear you to them, and break the tension a little.

What is the most embarrassing moment you have experienced on a date? How did you recover from it?

Have you ever been stuck with someone who embarrassed you? Was it something they did that ruined their chances with you?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Most embarrassing date? »

Dating: Generosity make you uncomfortable?

My friend Joe told me about a woman he met recently who has a little hang up when it comes to accepting kind gestures, compliments, gifts from him. She told him that she is not accustomed to generous men, so when he shows that side to her she gets uncomfortable.

It is sad to think that women aren’t used to a guy pursuing them and treating them with kindness and generosity, but I have met a lot of women like this. It becomes that old self-fulfilling prophecy behavior thinking “If it is too good to be true, it probably is” or does the generosity come with strings?

Have you ever met or dated someone who is put off by generosity? Do you ever feel uncomfortable when someone showers you with romantic gifts?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Dating: Generosity make you uncomfortable? »

Online dating: Safety first?

Dating websites are trying to play a more active role in weeding out the criminals, sexual predators and con artists. A recent press release announced that some efforts are being made for consumer protection: “providers eHarmony, Match.com and Spark Networks will protect their members through the use of online safety tools, including checking subscribers against national sex offender registries and by providing a rapid abuse reporting system for members.”

It has been years since I have tried online dating but I attribute it to more of my laziness then my fear of meeting people from the internet. We have all heard scary stories, yet I can not ignore the fact that many friends and relatives have met, dated, and married people they met through online dating.

At the end of the day, we have to make smart and safe choices when we invite strangers into our lives. In this modern age of technology, what are ways you protect yourself in dating?

Just because you meet someone face to …

Continue reading Online dating: Safety first? »

Dirty minds: Your brain influences!

I love the idea that sex is between the ears, more than anything. A lot of people don’t realize this and have a lot of misconceptions about sex, sex drive and their libidos. (Not to mention that sex can start before you even touch each other, but I digress)

I asked the author of Dirty Minds: How Our Brains Influence Love, Sex, and Relationships, Kayt Sukel: (who was featured in a piece on ABC’s Nightline last night) “How does the brain impact sexual satisfaction or dissatisfaction?”

Anyone who is really distracted by the day’s events knows that over-thinking about the wrong things can really mess with your libido. But what they might not know is that some people are able to reach orgasm using *only* their brain. By using top-down control, they can actually “think off.”

It’s even possible that we all have this ability but never learned how to harness it. Given that the brain has this kind of power, imagine if we could use it for good instead of evil!

Scientists are …

Continue reading Dirty minds: Your brain influences! »

Your brain in love?

In a fascinating new book, Dirty Minds: How Our Brain Influences Love, Sex, and Relationships, author Kay Sukel explores the neurobiology of love. I am a science fan so this was right up my alley! I reached out to her and asked, “What happens to our brain when we fall in love?”

(Don’t laugh because when you realize that the stupid things you do and say when you are head over heels in love is rooted in science, it makes you feel better!)

Kayt Sukel: For a long time, we’ve thought of love as an emotion. But it’s got more a lot more staying power than that. Love results in actual physical changes to the brain. An important part of our “reptilian brain,” or the most evolutionarily preserved part of the human brain, helps to facilitate risk and reward processing.

Romantic love makes changes to that circuitry through the increase and decrease of key neurochemicals. That’s why love can make us feel physical sensations like butterflies in the belly or sweaty palms. It’s why …

Continue reading Your brain in love? »