Tell your mate to lose weight?
Do you know what it’s like to be so caught up in a new romance that you sort of let things fall to the wayside? You get super comfortable being part of a couple and you don’t spend as much time primping, grooming, or uh…exercising.
That’s right a new couple is likely to pack on a few pounds being in love. It is usually something that gets rectified after a couple of weeks, but what happens when weeks turn in to months? Do you tell your partner that they have let themselves go too much?
It is a tough position to be in! You would not want to be the insensitive jerk that dumped someone you really liked over a couple of pounds. I know a lot of people who have a real fear of being in a relationship with someone who let themselves go. Does it mean we are too shallow?
How do you bring up the topic of extra pounds? What can you do if you don’t feel sexually attracted to them because of the weight gain?
Has this situation ever happened to you? What advice can you give for someone facing this relationship dilemma?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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368 comments Add your comment
Purple
February 29th, 2012
3:48 pm
kimmie, that sounds like its very classy!
kimmie - the original :)
February 29th, 2012
3:48 pm
Brat – I forgot to ask. Are you going to surprise him with the ring? Hubs surprised me with mine, but we went together to pick out the wedding bands.
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
3:48 pm
Okay….any suggestions for dinner? Cooking dinner I mean. I know y’all got me today
kimmie - the original :)
February 29th, 2012
3:50 pm
Purple – It is very pretty. Like you, I like nice jewelry too!
Exiled!
February 29th, 2012
3:52 pm
By ‘cooking dinner’ I hope u don’t mean putting it in the microwave for 10 minutes Celisea!
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
3:54 pm
MMeelo – LOLOL….No sir. I have one that I NEVER use. My kid might pop popcorn but that’s about all the usage that thing gets. Unless she’s sleepy and hungry at the same time, she’ll warm something up using it but I should get a refund due to the lack of usage…lol
czBrat
February 29th, 2012
3:56 pm
gotcha, kimmie. makes sense. not sure why i’m letting it bug me. he got what he said he wanted, but he made comments as to not wanting to stray too far from the types of rings his boss’ wear. my feeling was he should just get what he likes. seemed odd to me to have to temper your choice based on what the other folks in the boardroom are doing. he!!, most of them probably wish they had the guts to exert some individuality in the work place.
i’m getting overheated. time to chant ‘respect corporate america. respect corporate america. respect corporate america.’
we picked out all of the rings together, so no surprises.
celisea, how bout a salmon salad? super quick and easy, yummy and good for ya!
For Real
February 29th, 2012
3:58 pm
Celisea: Grilled salmon cakes, wild rice with pasta salad.
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:00 pm
czBrat – I have tried so many times to eat Salmon but cannot seem to acquire a taste for it. Tastes too fishy. I’ve had it seared, blackened, grilled…all of it. I might though do some sort of fish…good suggestion. I had tilapia for lunch and it was mmm mmm good
Thanks
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:00 pm
For Real – See my 4:00
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:01 pm
Now I could have Publix steam a couple clusters of crab leggs….did that a couple of times…mmm mmm mmmm
For Real
February 29th, 2012
4:02 pm
Celisea: try cooking it first
Exiled!
February 29th, 2012
4:02 pm
Czbrat!
Ur 3:56?
Whaat?
Why shld he care bout his boss and his ring?
Unless ofcourse he’s planning to come to work blinked out like Master P or Some such rapper why should he care really.
i'm swiss
February 29th, 2012
4:03 pm
“I have tried so many times to eat Salmon but cannot seem to acquire a taste for it. Tastes too fishy. I’ve had it seared, blackened, grilled…all of it”
C — That just means you haven’t had it done right. I can grill you up some salmon with my special herb, lemon/butter marinade that will make you want to slap yo mamma.
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:03 pm
In one of my courses “typing in all caps” is considered a must not do. I mean I get it but captured in company policy? Gheesh
kimmie - the original :)
February 29th, 2012
4:03 pm
Brat – I do respect individuality in the work place! I do it whenever I can.
Ironically Frank Ski was having a discussion about this this morning with Phaedra from RHOA. He brought up some criticism that Wendy Williams made about Viola Davis wearing her hair natural to the Oscars. Phaedra said we’ve come a long way in corp America though we still have to watch it. As long as it’s neat, do you, she said. But I don’t consider anything in the arts really “corporate” even though that was the Oscars. Creative people are just that, creative, not cookie-cutter. They can push the envelope easier, in fact, it’s expected. Ski, and WW get on my nerves!
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:06 pm
For Real – Try cooking what first the crableggs? Now you know as paranoid as I am no way I’m eating “steam” from the store to my tummy right? They’ll steam it for me and it goes home and get redone…no kidding. Nuh uh, I don’t play with that sort of thing.
Dern it Swiss, that’s why you need to have a blog bbq out on your deck. I’m serious, I cannot eat salmon. I’m sure somebody out there or some restaurant and get it right…just so far nobody’s got me hooked yet.
ThirdWheel
February 29th, 2012
4:08 pm
@Celisea you steam crab legs twice?? Isn’t the meat hard on the inside? Publix and Kroger do an excellent job with steaming their seafood. I love their Cajuan Steam.. YUM!
disco
February 29th, 2012
4:11 pm
kimmie – I’ve got ‘natural’ hair and I find that black people give me a far more difficult time about it than non-blacks do. at work it’s not as much of an issue as it might be for some. I just change it up as much as I can. puffs, twist outs, buns whatever. it’s versatile.
Exiled!
February 29th, 2012
4:13 pm
Me neither Cel…salmon is overrated!
I am a fish guy myself..no salmon
Tilapia,bream,snapper etc
At my house I do the fish dish
Just daamn,my fish skills wld be enough to feed some ladies and keep a rotation…
Hope in the next life ..just daamn for old age!
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:14 pm
ThirdWheel, I didn’t say I steamed twice. I said I “re-do” I actually place in the oven on a sheet. My old manager taught me that.
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:15 pm
MMeello – Aside from Salmon, I’m a seafood gal. Give me lobster tails anyday
kimmie - the original :)
February 29th, 2012
4:18 pm
disco – Back when my hair was still long, I had gone swimming and washed my hair but didn’t go thru all the drying and setting and such. I brushed it back and put in a french braid. You would have thought I came in in rollers and a shower cap! This crazy chick I worked with, who used to bring her 50yr old behind in dressed hip-hop with colored extensions in her hair, dogged me out. I told her there was nothing wrong with my hair. And just kept repeating it to her until she got the message!
For Real
February 29th, 2012
4:19 pm
Celisea: You double steam crab legs no wonder your it taste fishy to you. Like Swiss said you need a marinade preferably a butter based one. Salmon can taste like anything you want.
You got:
Chicken favor salmon
Beef favor salmon
Mexican favor salmon
Salmon favor salmon
Pork favor salmon
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:20 pm
Yaaaah, just knocked out another course
For Real
February 29th, 2012
4:21 pm
Kimmie: One of my pet peeves is old people dressing like they are 14 years old.
ThirdWheel
February 29th, 2012
4:22 pm
@Celisea oh ok you broil them in the oven? I might have to try that! I love Crab Legs and Boiled shrimp
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:23 pm
For Real – You just mixed up two different posts. I said SALMON tastes fishy. I said I love CRABLEGGS and when purchasing from Publix I’ll have steam for me while I shop. When I get home, I place in the oven for a few minutes. Got that from a former manager.
Stop it with the different flavored salmons…lol
czBrat
February 29th, 2012
4:23 pm
celisea try this for some good and healthy options http://www.skinnytaste.com
kimmie & me-lo, s/o is also tatted and earringed in his off hours. but he is always conscious of “♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪one of these things is not like the others ♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪” at work. i think his ring is actually a great balance of a traditional band with nice diamond insets. i luv it. i just want to KNOW that it’s everything he wanted it to be.
for real, please behave!
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:24 pm
ThirdWheel – What’s up with you? My words getting lost in translation or are you trying to be funny? Twice from you…Imma let it slide. You have other issues you can work on.
I didn’t say broiled. I said what I said.
Exiled!
February 29th, 2012
4:26 pm
For Real?
see,that’s what u get for shunning marriage..
Good food is supposed to taste good with just onions and tomatoes!
No seasoning….now,if it’s produced in 1 month like this salmon u talking bout,yea u need to fumigate(lol) with all those flavors!
disco
February 29th, 2012
4:26 pm
kimmie – usually if I neglect to do anything the night before I’ll do a wash and go or a puff or something to get by. recently I’ve been doing two flat twists. it sounds hilarious when I tell people about it (I mean two twists – can you say 8 year old girl?) but I actually get lots of compliments when I do it.
for real – ditto on the pet peeve. they need to stay in their lane. and I don’t care if they still look good or are still in good shape. the clothes still need to be age appropriate.
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:27 pm
Thanks czBrat
kimmie - the original :)
February 29th, 2012
4:28 pm
4 Real – Can’t stand that either! You don’t have to dress like you’re ready for the rocking chair, but not like you’re in jr high either.
Leggs
February 29th, 2012
4:29 pm
It does pay to be gone too long from this blog…
ThirdWheel
February 29th, 2012
4:30 pm
@Celisea ok never heard that before.. no need to get hostile…..
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:30 pm
Hair issue – I didn’t home until pretty late Saturday and was tettering on doing Church a second sunday consecutively. So about 3ish I decided to go ahead and wash my hair. This was not my salon week. Anyway I washed my hair and realized after wetting that my neighbor borrowed my blow dryer. How about I put on sweats and socks and a sweater and turned on my ceiling fan and let my hair air dry. It turned out pretty good. I’ve done it before but I needed to get up in a couple of hours for church.
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:32 pm
I think I’ll knock out the other two courses tomorrow
czBrat
February 29th, 2012
4:32 pm
disco, every time i get about yay far out from my last relaxer and those pretty little curls are showing up thoughout my roots, i get that momentary courage to go natural. then i remember my natural hair is hella thick and crazy coarse. nope. can’t do it. nope. just can’t.
but i do the wash & go about eight months out of the year. keeps things happy and healthy.
disco
February 29th, 2012
4:36 pm
celisea – air dry is one thing but the ceiling fan? girl, you’se a nut. I air dry all of the time. I might sit under a hooded dryer if I’m in a crunch but I’ve probably only used heat to dry a few times in the past few years.
brat – I thought my hair was a force to be reckoned with. guess my mother lied to me my entire childhood. once I learned how to manage it natural it’s easy breezy. I’ve got a friend whose hair is natural and hella thick. she struggles with it a lot but when she hits certain styles her hair is gorgeous.
I may or may not come down that way for this year’s natural hair show. I went about 3 or 4 years ago so I guess I’m due to check it out again.
i'm swiss
February 29th, 2012
4:38 pm
I wouldn’t normally give away my secrets like this, but for you, C, I’ll make an exception.
First thing is you want to make sure you start with good fish. Make sure it’s wild, not that farm-raised gobbidge. I prefer the King salmon, personally, although sockeye is good, too. (For you, I would recommend King, as sockeye has a little stronger flavor)
If you’re grilling, you’re going to want the cuts with the skin on one side.
And don’t let it sit around, you’ve got to cook that sucker fast. I try to cook it the same day, if possible, or the very next day at the latest.
Wash the fish off with some limes — just slice up some limes, squeeze most of the juice out to use in the marinade & use the pulp/peel to scrub the fish really well.
Now, for the marinade: Melt some butter and mix in the lime juice from before, plus some lemon juice, garlic and dill. I also like to add in black pepper, basil, parsley and just a few drops of Dale’s seasoning.
Get the grill super hot, brush the non-skin side of the fish with some olive oil & put the fish with the skin side UP on the hot grill for 5 minutes or so (depending on the thickness of the fish) to sear it. Then brush the skin side with olive oil, turn the fish & lower the heat on the grill. Drizzle the marinade generously on the flesh side of the fish & come back every few minutes to add a little more until it’s done.
The skin should come right very easily when it’s done. Mmmmm mmm. Good eating…
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:39 pm
disco – I panicked. When I realized my neighbor didn’t return no lie, I almost called her. Then I thought, nah that would be crazy. It was late, I needed to get up and go. Really I don’t use the blow dryer or too much heat at home at all. Only during my hair appointments. I don’t really do a lot of washing though in between unless, like in this case I gotta be somewhere or do something same/next day.
Too much heat is bad.
Leggs
February 29th, 2012
4:40 pm
does NOT pay. I’m frazzled.
Exiled!
February 29th, 2012
4:40 pm
Ladies,I like natural hair myself so no worries if u standing beside me
coz honestly I fear for All men when they see a chic glammed up in fake hair and weave etc and then when she has to show him the real deal
So I’ll take nice fake hair on a woman and say ‘nice’ with a pinch!
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:40 pm
Swiss Thanks man!!! I’m copying this. Mmeello you getting this???
Bluzgirl
February 29th, 2012
4:41 pm
I’ve been so crazy busy at work all week and haven’t had a chance to check in and read everyone’s comments. I’m not even going to comment on this topic because I’m sure ya’ll are way off the topic by now! LOL!!!
So glad this is the end of February…been a tough month. Here’s to a better March!!!
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:42 pm
Mmeello – I don’t do weave but them chicks at my salon will have you fooled. Nicely done.
Leggs
February 29th, 2012
4:44 pm
drying hair by ceiling fan in sweats…original and funny as hell…
Leggs
February 29th, 2012
4:45 pm
@Bluz ~ remember its March and that means for you to continue marching to a healthier state of mind. That’s what you should remember the month of MARCH.
Celisea
February 29th, 2012
4:46 pm
Leggs/disco – I actually got plenty of compliments. I had body (in my hair) out the yen yang. Once fully dry (took a couple of hours) while I napped, I flat ironed and put big curlers in it to give it volume and off to church I went.