Ex Files: Rebounding necessary?
According to entertainment reports, singer Rihanna has become a moth to Chris Brown’s flame. Apparently, the two collaborated on two songs and he was even spotted at her birthday bash.
Reading about their reunion made me think about those exes that we can’t get out of our system. It is tough when we should be moving on but are too hung up on someone. Maybe the only way to nudge you along is to find a new person right away.
People often take time after break ups to heal or to regroup, but maybe some of us could actually benefit from a love-life palate cleanser. Someone to distract us from dwelling on the recent break up and prevent us from sliding back to a bad habit or toxic relationship.
I think I have had some of my best dates with guys who were the rebounders – because I welcomed the attention and just appreciated the company. There was no pressure to move things along to the next level, so the only goal was to laugh and have fun.
When you are dating someone new, do you ever ask when their latest relationship ended?
Do you want to know if you are the first post-break up/divorce date? Would it change how you perceived their potential?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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417 comments Add your comment
kimmie - the original :)
February 24th, 2012
10:57 am
Leggs – I can’t stand runny or soft eggs. I just can tolerate them at all! And the worst thing in the world is egg drop soup, yuck!! Cute joke though!
Lady – Didn’t he supposedly already go to some type of therapy/rehab?
disco
February 24th, 2012
10:57 am
BF – what did I miss? why do you hope I’m not hurt too bad? hurt as in past hurt or hurt as in someone is going to hurt me?
leggs – I only dunk chips ahoy cookies.
Willie Dynamite
February 24th, 2012
10:58 am
Morning All,
Just curious to know how you can be the reboundee in an actual relationship. I understand the rebounder wanting to get over the hump and yada yadda yadda. Does the reboundee not do any due dilligence during the dating phase? Are you not paying attention to actions/words that would indicate whether the other person is coming from a place of hurt. I may be biased but for me to enter into a realtionship I am really crossing t’s and dotting i’s along with due dilligence like a mug. At that point it really is on me whether I want to disregard what i see/hear and try anyway. I really don’t get it.
Celisea
February 24th, 2012
11:00 am
Blackfoote – Funny you mentioned steak….I CANNOT eat for breakfast. Well I shouldn’t say can’t, just never appealed to me. I’m just getting where I can eat different meat in the same day…say tuna for lunch then burger for dinner….if the time was close together. Say late lunch/early dinner. Ut uh. LOL….I know that was mental but I’m slowing moving over those crazy hurdles…
I can’t eat Salmon patties for breakfast with eggs. If I’m having Salmon, I only want grits and toast.
kimmie - the original :)
February 24th, 2012
11:00 am
Leggs – I’m not a dunker either. I do what some might consider weird before they try it – I dip hot, crispy McDonalds fries in a thick, cold milkshake. Delicious!!
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:00 am
Andrea Sneiderma is barred from the courtroom for her antics with friends and going into a witness room without permission I told yall she is amusing
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:01 am
yep Kimmie I just wish he a a team (ongoing) with him but that is his choice its on him and its his life
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:02 am
WD I ignored all red flags and it became a FWB relationship nothing more or less…..shrugs it does happen lol
kimmie - the original :)
February 24th, 2012
11:03 am
Willie – I’m with you all the way, I find that ish out – been a fool before, but never a blind fool!
cba
February 24th, 2012
11:04 am
Lady: I’m watching the hearing now.
Into the Light
February 24th, 2012
11:05 am
@kimmie: Doesn’t sound weird to me, bc one of my besties loves to dip hot Wendy’s fries in a Frosty. Not my thing, but I do love fries dipped in McD’s hot mustard. I don’t know what it is about that hot mustard, but it even makes dried up McFake Nuggets taste good.
Just the thought of runny eggs makes me shudder.
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:05 am
kimmie was only a fool once trust honey that was a lesson lololol so true honey but my point is everyone plays the fool a time or two lol
cba hot mess!
Celisea
February 24th, 2012
11:06 am
I agree too WD…if buddy can’t open his mouth and tell me what’s up then nope, no go. It’s not normal for someone to not open up or say what’s up…nope it is not.
kimmie - the original :)
February 24th, 2012
11:07 am
Dang, now you guys have me wanting some salmon patties. We grew up calling them salmon croquettes. Haven’t made any in years. I just emailed hubs asking him did he like them. I might mix some up this weekend.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 24th, 2012
11:07 am
disco I was making reference to you jabbing yourself with that pen. You’re a tough one on the outside, makes for a good challenge to a dude that’s secure in himself. Well a lot of women here on the blog is tough.
Celisea
February 24th, 2012
11:07 am
Kimmie – That’s what we called them too. We had for breakfast and dinner sometimes.
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:07 am
kimmie I can eat them with rice or grits! so good!
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:08 am
or plain as a snack
kimmie - the original :)
February 24th, 2012
11:08 am
Light – I can’t stand those fake McNuggets!! They taste like chicken-flavored sponges!!
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:09 am
I want to go to biloxi……went last spring boy that was some good eating! lol
Celisea
February 24th, 2012
11:10 am
It’s funny the general consensus is, if folks want to move into another relatioship or “friendship”, due diligence surrounding wanting to know and understand is the norm. That’s been the norm…asking and poking around for the answers you need. Ultimately you’re the one that’s going to have to live with the outcome if it’s not good.
Never doubt yourself on these type things no matter what’s said derogatory towards or about you in you wanting answers.
kimmie - the original :)
February 24th, 2012
11:11 am
Celisea – Yep, for breakfast or dinner!
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:11 am
you are right C! it is what it is!
Leggs
February 24th, 2012
11:12 am
“But as far as Chris, all the therapy in the world won’t help him, I’m convinced. I really liked his behind, but he’s just a baby-faced thug now to me, sorry.” – I feel the same way. What bothers me more than anything is the pain he experienced growing up watching his mother get beat vowing he would never turn into that type of a man. Unfortunately, sometimes your environment does in fact dictate who you are.
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:13 am
indeed leggs!
disco
February 24th, 2012
11:14 am
blackfoote – oh. the pain has subsided so I only think about it when I look down and see the hole in my hand.
kimmie - the original :)
February 24th, 2012
11:15 am
Celisea/Willie – You know, thinking back, I’ve never had a dude to hide it if he’s just gotten out of a relationship. Usually that was a nice, convenient way to let me know they didn’t want anything too serious. I didn’t necessarily run when they told me, I just tried to keep it as light as I could. When I found myself catching feelings is when it got tough.
Into the Light
February 24th, 2012
11:15 am
LOL@chicken sponges.
I love salmon patties on a biscuit with mustard. Mmmm, mmmm.
Lady – I haven’t been to Biloxi. It’s a good trip?
Leggs
February 24th, 2012
11:19 am
@kimmie ~ I can’t even look at egg drop soup. Nasty!
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:20 am
ITL I loved Mississippi loved the stillness the slow pace I love the gulf coast…..its still very black and white but I could see myself if I was ballin’ to have a retirement home there…….they have the shows I love and so on…I will take it over Vegas any day but that’s my personality lol
Leggs
February 24th, 2012
11:21 am
@kimmie ~ my child does the fries in thick shake. That’s so wrong on so many levels (lol). Love salmon patties and eggs for breakfast.
Jane
February 24th, 2012
11:21 am
My rebound ended up being the man I’m going to marry. I think it happened that way because I started dating him without any expectations. I simply did it for fun and didn’t care about trying to impress him. He, too, had just gotten out of a serious relationship. So we both approached our dating really casually. A couple of months into our relationship we realized what we had together. A relationship that was as effortless as you could get; not perfect but pretty damn close. Niether of us tried too hard in the beginning because neither of us had any expectations. You never know when the love of you life will enter your life… I can’t wait to marry him now!
i'm swiss
February 24th, 2012
11:23 am
Alright, now look here…. First Mrs. Swiss spending 30 minutes asking me what I want for dinner later and now you all are talking about food, too — and my HONGRY (yes, HONGRY) azz has a physical at 3pm and can’t eat a GOT D@MN thing!!!
Stop it, I say!
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:24 am
Go Jane!!!!!
Leggs
February 24th, 2012
11:24 am
I grew up with them being called salmon croquettes too…I’m going to have those, homefries and eggs for breakfast tomorrow.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 24th, 2012
11:25 am
Jane:
Good for you guys, like you said you never know when love will enter your life.
Into the Light
February 24th, 2012
11:27 am
Leggs, What time shall I be there? I’ll bring the fresh-squeezed OJ.
Say what, Swiss? You wish you had some jerk chicken, black beans and rice, and some grilled plantains? Me, too!
kimmie - the original :)
February 24th, 2012
11:27 am
Jane – You go girl, wonderful & congrats to you too!
Into the Light
February 24th, 2012
11:28 am
Salmon croquettes. My ex used to call them salmon “crochet”s just to be silly. Still cracks me up whenever I think about it.
Willie Dynamite
February 24th, 2012
11:28 am
Topic – I am a big proponent of accountability. I dont deal in that victim mentality. Sure there are times where a person can hoodwink or deceive you but for the most part your personal set of blinders enabled the situation. The learning part comes in not blaming the rebounder but you as the reboundee paying attention to all the sign that were right there staring you in the face.
Breakfast – I grew up at my Grandma’s hip. We were ace boons, frick and frack, chef/sous chef. Breakfast was were it was at. She would always cook grits always. She would always have whatever meat from the previous nites dinner and maybe sausage or bacon. The first major lesson in cooking i had was learning how to cook an over-easy egg for her. If it was done right she would eat it if not then I would eat it. The days she ate my eggs I was on cloud 999999.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 24th, 2012
11:28 am
LOL……@swiss
Good luck on that physical.
Into the Light
February 24th, 2012
11:29 am
Congrats, Jane!!
Awww, WD, that’s a sweet memory.
Willie Dynamite
February 24th, 2012
11:31 am
Swiss – How old are you? Are you having a regular cough squeeze cough physical or the Old man bend over gloved hand physical?
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:32 am
i am eating sweet and sour chicken and it is yummy! lol
kimmie - the original :)
February 24th, 2012
11:32 am
Light – That sounds like my grandfather. He used to say “are we going to eat Buffet style?” pronounced like Jimmy Buffet, to be funny.
i'm swiss
February 24th, 2012
11:33 am
Willie D — I’ve still got a couple more years before I have to get finger-f@#ked by the doctor, thankfully. Just the reach-around for now.
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:34 am
oh last night I didn’t stay @ Indigo Bar long (so over the greek mixers per se) lol anyway went to the Sweet GA Juke Joint for dinner and they were celebrating with a live band their year anniversary! thet food was awesome and music what I love….lol i know I am late lol but I enjoyed the latter part od my evening
Exiled!
February 24th, 2012
11:35 am
WD?
Victim mentality..women do that All the time.
I hope Lady and uall other ladies who stepped into a FWB relationship,even unwittingly won’t consider urselves ‘victims’. How can u be a victim if u have the power to extricate urself?
It’s kinda like the situation that our buddy,Bluz is in. She finds that dude can’t commit so it’s only natural if u don’t like it,to move away. If u stay,u are not a victim..used or any if those terms.
U used each other.
I never understand how and why women think men get more out of a purely ’sexual’ relationship?
Ladies can u open that up and let us know?!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 24th, 2012
11:36 am
What the hell was I thinking speaking of physicals, I have a colonoscopy and a physical scheduled in March. That’s too much of my booty being tested in one month. I gotta re-schedule one of them.
Lady~
February 24th, 2012
11:36 am
i never said I was a victim sir and I learned trust