How supportive are you?
One of our readers has a relationship problem that I think some of us can relate to. Tara has been seeing a guy for over a year and things are pretty serious. She feels that he is taking the relationship seriously, but she wants to know if the thing that is bothering her about him is a deal breaker. Her guy is not very supportive of her at all, in fact he is critical of her a lot.
I know exactly what she is going through because I have met the type before – some men feel as if they have to “tear you down and build you back up” and mold you into the woman they want you to be. It’s interesting because they disguise it behind good intentions and helpful feedback, when really…they are just being a butthead.
My advice is to speak up now and see if that can be dealt with amicably. I think having someone who supports you is an absolute must. I am all for challenging me and helping me grow, but some people don’t know how to do it with love.
Have you ever dated someone who was overly critical of you?
Do you consider yourself to be supportive when you are in a relationship?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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433 comments Add your comment
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
12:37 pm
plus I heard Mrs V Long withdrew her divorce from the Bishop! go figure
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
12:39 pm
wow just read Meagon Good to play Whitney Houston in a Biopic~! #interesting~
Leggs
February 22nd, 2012
12:47 pm
@Ex ~ I have that picture too of the President.
Leggs
February 22nd, 2012
12:48 pm
Meagan Good! What? Really? Ummm? Why?
cba
February 22nd, 2012
12:57 pm
EX: I agree with your assement of Andrea, she has some powerful “stuff”….can you say uranium (lol)
They met in April and in Nov, Nueman kills her husband…..yeah that some potent ish.
Andy Young said in an interview some months ago that racism is still alive and well but classism is the biggest problem today.
PR: I have always heard that if you have a drop of black blood you are considered to be black.
My maternal grandfather was white and his grandfather was Irish and I have some relatives who considers them white but I don’t think they are fooling anyone except themselves.
In the mid-eighties I were working at this company and they brought in a Chinese guy to do contract work. His first day on the job several of my white co-workers said, they hired a chink. What do you think they said when I were hired?
Audra
February 22nd, 2012
1:02 pm
If you are constantly criticizing someone to build them up to who you want them to be, then why are you with them anyway? Find someone who IS what you want them to be. Of course, no one is perfect or 100% what you want them to be, but you are not going to change another person. If you can’t deal with them the way they are, good and bad, before you make a big commitment, don’t do it! I had a bad 7-year marriage because I thought I could “make him the man I wanted him to be.” It just hurt us both. So, what I am saying is, yes, it’s a deal breaker…
Audra
February 22nd, 2012
1:04 pm
Also, why does this blog always get completely off topic into the racial thing? Not helpful.
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:16 pm
Audra many blogs get off topic and I feel we had a healthy conversation and its okay too…..good post by the way!
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:17 pm
now where is everyone?!? lol
Bluzgirl
February 22nd, 2012
1:20 pm
I’ve been lurking all day…interesting conversations.
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:21 pm
waving @ Bluz!
hey chica!
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:23 pm
the work day passed on by! 90 more mins~!
Bluzgirl
February 22nd, 2012
1:25 pm
Hey Lady!!! I sure wish my work day would pass on by…can’t get outta here until 5.
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:27 pm
Terrence Howard Ordered to Pay $50K to Estranged Wife<<<<<<these estranged wives know they be getting paid.com lol
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:27 pm
awwwwww that sucks but the bills have to be pd. lol #chuckle
Bluzgirl
February 22nd, 2012
1:34 pm
At least my bills will be easier to pay now that I’m only supporting myself! LOL
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:35 pm
yes indeed honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that means we can get a happy hour in honey!
Not today
February 22nd, 2012
1:35 pm
Not today please
Bluzgirl
February 22nd, 2012
1:36 pm
Darn straight! Once I get my tax return back, I’ll definitely be back on track and able to afford to go out!
Bluzgirl
February 22nd, 2012
1:37 pm
Not today, what?
Purple
February 22nd, 2012
1:44 pm
Bluz, LOL @ tax return
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:45 pm
purple I screamed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! too funny!
Audra
February 22nd, 2012
1:46 pm
Not talking about an issue is not helpful either. Sometimes it’s healthy to get it out there. Racism is a universal problem. The more we talk, who knows the more it MIGHT help.
Exiled!
February 22nd, 2012
1:48 pm
Not today…
Yea,it will look like a crackhead that keeps going back to crack dealer
No Bluz !! let’s move on
Celisea
February 22nd, 2012
1:48 pm
Off topic:
Why did my coworker ask me to sit in on a call for him because he claimed there was a huge blow up with another client but instead he had a lunch date???
I’m a bit irked right now. I hate a liar. All you had to do was ask if I would stand in for you. He claimed he thought there would be issues that I would likely handle. It was all about him and the things he does/handles.
SlimUno
February 22nd, 2012
1:49 pm
Soooo, I haven’t read any of the posts but where are we on topics at this point? Alimony, the Blood drop test to determine Blackness? I’m ready to go get in the bed DOT COM? lol
Not sure how many of you practice the whole lent thing, but are any of you planning to give up any vices for the upcoming occasion?
Celisea
February 22nd, 2012
1:49 pm
Mmeello – LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Exiled!
February 22nd, 2012
1:49 pm
Audra?
So u recapitulate,what? 42 minutes later?
Celisea
February 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm
Funny here….somebody will ALWAYS say what you’re thinking…lol
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:51 pm
smh lol yall are FUNNY!
Celisea
February 22nd, 2012
1:53 pm
Swiss are you on?
Why am I having trouble now printing pdf files? It takes like 15 – 20 minutes to spool (think I’m saying that right).
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
1:54 pm
slim I know I am no where near to 1st lady status but back in the day for lent you kept what you were giving up betweenyou and God now it seems everyone tells the world for what who knows but also isn’t the goal to once you give it up it will be a less factor of satisfaction once the 40 days is up?!? times are different lol
Purple
February 22nd, 2012
1:54 pm
Lady, lol.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 22nd, 2012
1:55 pm
I don’t give support by tearing her down, I want her to be who she really is. Show me who you are I then can make a decision whether I will put up with you or leave you be. The same can be said of me you will get the real me if you deal with me cool, if not I wont hold you back or down by being critical of you. There is a saying if you can’t stand the heat get out of the fire.
Afternoon:
Celisea
February 22nd, 2012
1:57 pm
or kitchen…Blackfoote…
Can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. All the same though
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 22nd, 2012
2:00 pm
Cely:
That’s genuine, I started do slash kitchen we still think alike sometimes…….LOL
Purple
February 22nd, 2012
2:02 pm
Blackfoote, we say Sh!t or get off the toilet!
Celisea
February 22nd, 2012
2:03 pm
Blackfoote – Great minds think alike
How are you sir?
Leggs
February 22nd, 2012
2:03 pm
Also, why does this blog always get completely off topic into the racial thing? Not always, today it’s been respectfully discussed due to the insanity case of Neuman.
@cba ~ I definitely am feeling → racism is still alive and well but classism is the biggest problem today.
“There is a saying if you can’t stand the heat get out of the fire.” – Thanks for the laugh, BF. I needed it.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 22nd, 2012
2:04 pm
When I think of tearing down I think militarily, that’s how they train a professional soldier. From scratch build them back up into a killing machine. I can’t see doing a cilvilian or a NORMAL person that way.
Celisea
February 22nd, 2012
2:04 pm
Move or move out the way
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 22nd, 2012
2:08 pm
Cely:
I am good madam thank you for asking.
LOL…….@Purple
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
2:08 pm
I was about to type If you can’t hang with the big dogs, stay on the porch but its not related is it?!? #dead lol
Exiled!
February 22nd, 2012
2:09 pm
Blackfoote?? Cel is kind,it’s Never get out of the fire! Lol
no good reason for anybody to be in fire!
Now,somebody else would say Cel was putting me (belittling him) down or belittling when in fact u have just tore Off the English lexicon!
better to be guided when uall are not in public
Otherwise folks be like
saying look at mfcka talking loud and murdering English! Lol
Celisea
February 22nd, 2012
2:11 pm
Mmeello – The fire is where it’s at (yes “at)….so nobody corrects me. If you can’t hang then, get out of the fire.
SlimUno
February 22nd, 2012
2:11 pm
Lady – Oh ok, I didn’t know it was a secret/private affair especially since i’m not Catholic. Good looking out on the heads up though…I guess lol They were talking about it on the radio this morning and it had me thinking of a list of things that would be hard to refrain from for the 40 days or so. Everything I thought of, I eventually said, “nope can’t scrape that one…not that one either…uh huh, nope Definitely not that for a whole FOE-TY days, are you kidding me?!!”
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 22nd, 2012
2:11 pm
LOL……@Leggs
Glad to put a smile on your preciousness.
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
2:14 pm
LOL girl please LOL I am not catholic but Methodist close but diff but still I don’t get the fascination with it #shrugs
Celisea
February 22nd, 2012
2:15 pm
Oh my I like that
smile on your preciousness Never heard that before.
Lady~
February 22nd, 2012
2:15 pm
i guess my point is i thought it was more sacred