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How supportive are you?

One of our readers has a relationship problem that I think some of us can relate to. Tara has been seeing a guy for over a year and things are pretty serious. She feels that he is taking the relationship seriously, but she wants to know if the thing that is bothering her about him is a deal breaker. Her guy is not very supportive of her at all, in fact he is critical of her a lot.

I know exactly what she is going through because I have met the type before – some men feel as if they have to “tear you down and build you back up” and mold you into the woman they want you to be. It’s interesting because they disguise it behind good intentions and helpful feedback, when really…they are just being a butthead.

My advice is to speak up now and see if that can be dealt with amicably. I think having someone who supports you is an absolute must. I am all for challenging me and helping me grow, but some people don’t know how to do it with love.

Have you ever dated someone who was overly critical of you?

Do you consider yourself to be supportive when you are in a relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

433 comments Add your comment

Purple

February 22nd, 2012
10:52 am

I think I was just called racist, I have to go read what was sent to me again to make sure.

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
10:53 am

who holds their boss’ hand? for ANY reason???? <<<<<<<<<<<<<<#shrugs lol she is holding on though making it out to be harassment maybe #shrugs!

I miss jury duty when I lived in atlanta I was a serial juror for the prosecutor since living in dekalb I have yet to be called

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
10:54 am

meant fulton county but you all get it lol

Purple

February 22nd, 2012
10:55 am

That court case is an example of when a man has lost his self control to the puddy

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
10:55 am

Leggs

February 22nd, 2012
10:57 am

Harassment, yet she calls him 6x after receiving news her husband is injured. If it’s just a boss/employee relationship, leave a msg and gts (get to stepping) to find out what happened to your husband.

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
10:59 am

leggs those phone records are fierce and she was a willing participator she is amusing

Purple

February 22nd, 2012
11:01 am

He’s Jewish he will be alright in the end might get 10-15 if that.

Exiled!

February 22nd, 2012
11:01 am

The word racism is thrown around just too much

We have become a society of too much PCness

Can somebody tell me how chink in the armor was racist when the Linsanity guy was described as such by ESPN after a basketball game loss?

I sometimes thinkthat white folks in the workplaces are standoffish but when I think about it,they may not know exactly what to say to a person of color coz everything seems to be viewed as racist

No jokes no simple convo/banter nothing

Just fake smiles!

kimmie - the original :)

February 22nd, 2012
11:03 am

None of those “high profile” cases interest me, just like that Casey Anthony case didn’t. I couldn’t tell you anything about them. As for this same menacing “black guy” mess – come on, couldn’t he have been more creative!Geesh, they all use it. Remember that chick that drowned her 2 little boys in the car, Susan Smith I think? Even that crazy runaway bride chick said it too.

It’s getting old!!

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:03 am

Ex I do agree the ESPN stunt was too much and I must say after some more research I am not on Team Roland too…………I really see your point but I still stand by professionalism ironically lol

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:04 am

meant I am NOW on Team Roland! I support Roland!

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:05 am

plus Don Lemon made me appreciate how important Roland is on CNN. I am just not his fan and he irks me….lol

Celisea

February 22nd, 2012
11:05 am

Racism exists. Where you see black folks and especially where not.

kimmie - the original :)

February 22nd, 2012
11:08 am

Exiled – So what, are you really losing sleep over it? I’m sure not. Folks know exactly what they are saying. They’ve just been able to get away with it for so long, that’s all. Now they are getting called on their mess when they should have been called on their disrespect all along. Most folks I know of decent intentions, of every color, have no issues or problems getting along with others.

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:09 am

Folks know exactly what they are saying. <<<<< but can they say it freely without regard especially if they are national figures……….where do we draw the line with free speech?!?

Leggs

February 22nd, 2012
11:13 am

“chink in the armor” – what I don’t get with that is the fact that he has used that phrase over 100x in his reportings and have never been called on the carpet..why now? And, he’s married to an Asian woman. Don’t think he should have been fired. Hell, even that crazy dude over the ladies basketball team was fined and not fired.

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:13 am

i agree leggs

Exiled!

February 22nd, 2012
11:14 am

Kimmie…can somebody tell me the chink in armor reference

how it was racist…

Please!

I am not speaking of a white guy calling a black man something blatantly racist, say’Neeka’

I’m talking of blurry stuff

We(media) quickly say racism

Me loosing sleep?

Unless my life(family’s) depends on it!

Celisea

February 22nd, 2012
11:15 am

I think I was just called shallow. Let me go back and re-read

i'm swiss

February 22nd, 2012
11:16 am

SNL was pretty spot-on with this Lin skit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRvKzlOVFNM

kimmie - the original :)

February 22nd, 2012
11:17 am

Lady – That’s just it, they either spout the free speech mess or claim innocence. They know exactly what they are doing. And if they are national figures, supposedly setting an example or in a leadership position – heck yeah they need to show some decorum. But when you have people cheering on these same leaders when they show disrespect to the President – what do you expect?

I feel bad for Roland, but there is going to be some collateral damage until we, Americans, grow up and get this race thing right.

Purple

February 22nd, 2012
11:18 am

Exiled people throw around racism to much although racism does indeed exist. But sometimes someone may just not “like” an individual person and then said person thinks that someone is being rascist towards them. On the guy using the term “chink” he should not have used it, kind of how like people like to use the word “guido” both are offensive but what SOME people think that if it is not towards black or whites nothing is racist when it comes to certain words.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2012
11:18 am

“As for this same menacing “black guy” mess – come on, couldn’t he have been more creative!Geesh, they all use it.” – That’s my point, kimmie…give it a rest!

disco

February 22nd, 2012
11:19 am

and kimmie, in my opinion, getting the race thing right will be about as easy as winning the war on drugs.

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:20 am

i hear you Kimmie!

kimmie - the original :)

February 22nd, 2012
11:23 am

Exiled – The word chink has different meanings, but can be like the N word when referring to Asians. Yes, I agree it’s going overboard to fire him, but everyone is walking on eggshells since they don’t seem to know how to deal with an Asian basketball star. Some cartoon had a pic of him jumping out of a fortune cookie. It’s all the hoopla. I bet if there were multiple Asian basketball stars and he said the chink comment like he did, it would not have gotten any play.

Not saying it’s right, just trying to make sense of nonsense!

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:23 am

and disco now the new war is prescription drugs and doctors in white jackets go figure.;….now how political is drug companies

Purple

February 22nd, 2012
11:24 am

What about Yao Ming?

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:25 am

i was speechless watching the game sunday he can truly play and loves to compete! very entertaining……overall the nba needs this bc it sucks….miss the late 80s and 90s nba

Leggs

February 22nd, 2012
11:27 am

It was reported this morning that if all the entertainers stopped taking prescription drugs, it would put pharmaceutical companies out of business (lol).

kimmie - the original :)

February 22nd, 2012
11:29 am

disco – I agree!

It just disgusts me that AA, Asians, Hispanics, women,gays, etc have been shut out and not able to fully participate in things for so long. Now that doors are being opened and these groups are appearing in places they never have, everyone acts like they don’t know how to talk to them. They are scrambling around, acting like these people are from outer space! Show them the same respect you would anyone else! I don’t get all the confusion, I really don’t. That’s why I say, they know exactly what they are doing and saying!

i'm swiss

February 22nd, 2012
11:30 am

In defense of the runaway bride, I believe she blamed Mexicans, didn’t she? So, at least she was a slightly more creative racist…

i'm swiss

February 22nd, 2012
11:31 am

Leggs — Legalizing weed would do the same thing. (Put Big Pharm out of business)

Exiled!

February 22nd, 2012
11:33 am

Purp?!

I agree..

There is a lot of ignorance especially in outer areas which are mostly inhabited by whites. A lot of their uncomfortableness with blacks has to do with ignorance and not being close to black folks that much …the same way I don’t hang with Anish folks or Mormons.

What I see more in America is classism

Both upward mobile blacks and whites are not comfortable with poor folks and their mannerisms let alone crime rate within their ranks
The same whites are cool with upward mobile blacks

So they can’t be racist! They may not hang that much or have as many black friends as they do whites but they are not racist. I think more interaction would school us both(white and black) about the choice words that are cool or not cool to use.

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:33 am

swiss too damn funny!

disco

February 22nd, 2012
11:33 am

lady – your prescription drug comment made me think of rush Limbaugh. you know he had issues at one point. anyway, how come some school districts are now feeding students dinner. eligible kids are having breakfast/lunch/dinner at school rush had the nerve to say “why even bother to send them home”. that man can sure get under your skin.

kimmie - the original :)

February 22nd, 2012
11:34 am

swiss – You are right, she was a little more creative! But why does it have to always be someone of another race? Why couldn’t it have been Joe Redneck? He can be just as “dangerous”!LOL!!

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:35 am

he is a hot mess disco him and newt both……..smh!

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:36 am

He can be just as “dangerous”!LOL!!<<<<,,damn right sis lol

Celisea

February 22nd, 2012
11:37 am

I’m sort of in the shadows on racism because within and just a bit I believe we’re all born with racism. Yes, we interact, relate, break bread, so forth and so on across racial lines but let someone strike hard or deep enough surrounding race, it comes out of us all…naturally.

Racism won’t end until those of us that’s going home to God get there.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2012
11:37 am

DRoss tix and I have no clue who the cold cut artist is…oh the irony!!!!

Exiled!

February 22nd, 2012
11:38 am

Folks use the word ‘mexican’ or ‘african’ pejoratively too A Lot!

especially blacks.. Racism?

now watch,mexicans will be majority this country in 20(39?) leventeen so folks need to watch it!

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:38 am

what is with the guy) driving off with the two toddlers @ 2am?!? where they do that at?!? after supposedly helping their mother with her car?!?

Lady~

February 22nd, 2012
11:40 am

i'm swiss

February 22nd, 2012
11:41 am

Totally off topic (well, sort of)… This cracks me up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=-qv7k2_lc0M

kimmie - the original :)

February 22nd, 2012
11:41 am

Celisea – I agree. But a lot of this stuff is not that deep. There are many nationalities I’ve never interacted with but I’m going to show everyone I come in contact with a degree of respect as a fellow human being. It’s not that hard.

kimmie - the original :)

February 22nd, 2012
11:43 am

Celisea

February 22nd, 2012
11:44 am

Kimmie – I with you on exercising the ability to rise above and try to remove yourself from stigmas and what nots. But yes, it stikes a cord for me if I see my people or my sisters blamed, treated less than, etc. I think that’s the upside to all of this. Being able to exercise the ability to rise above. Not all the time above what others inflict because that mess happens like breathing, but rising above certain feelings and prejudices (loosely used) from within.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2012
11:45 am

That story smells fishy, Lady! Heck, all these stories with kidnapped children smell funny. It’s a setup of some kind…let’s hope this one is legit.