Too cynical to date?
I’m sure you already know this but there are a lot of bitter single people in this city. After so many dating games and dating misadventures, some people tend to become cynical.
What’s really ironic is when you are lucky enough to meet someone who won’t run game and act shady, what happens? Some people question it!
A guy calls when he says he will, and she wonders if he is too eager. I woman wants to do special things for a guy and suddenly she gets tagged as desperate.
I know we all have some battle scars, but how do we stop being so bitter and cynical about it?
What do you do to stay optimistic and hopeful?
How do you know when to take a risk on someone and still be cautious?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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233 comments Add your comment
Purple
February 21st, 2012
7:36 am
Great Topic Today
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
7:51 am
Good Morning MIA!!!!
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
8:02 am
I had a really good post and it didn’t make it through! lol smh
CoolShadow
February 21st, 2012
8:22 am
A guy calls when he says he will, and she wonders if he is too eager. A woman wants to do special things for a guy and suddenly she gets tagged as desperate.
I refer to people who engage in that as contrarian cynics. No matter what you do, no matter how appropriate, harmless, thoughtful, or considerate your actions are, they will be met by second-guessing and sideways looks with an assumed ulterior motive. You have to prove your trustworthiness to people to gain their confidence but when proving yourself becomes a perpetual obstacle course with no finish line or progress attained, it’s time to move on. They have a total lack of distrust in people and it’s easier for them to not trust than to learn to let someone earn their trust because they rely on the law of averages for someone to fail them in their minds to justify their stance.
Tebow > Ryan
February 21st, 2012
8:40 am
I agree, CoolShadow. Why can’t people just be honest with themselves and with their partners? Why all the silly games?
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
8:43 am
test 123
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
8:44 am
ok that was two times I typed a post and it didn’t come through so I will graciously fall back and lurk! lol I get it ! smh
dkindig
February 21st, 2012
8:44 am
Ditto, Cool Shadow!
When I was dating I constantly ran into the phenomenon of starting out behind the eight ball. A large percentage of the time, it began with having to work overtime to prove that I wasn’t the other guys they had encountered in the past, at which point the real dating could begin (if it got that far).
I can’t tell you how many times I moved on because I felt like I was running the gauntlet and having to dispel the fact that I was going to do the same things others did rather than being evaluated at face value…
Me
February 21st, 2012
8:54 am
I agree. Great topic. Can’t wait to read the comments on this one.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
9:01 am
Morning…
What do you do to stay optimistic and hopeful? = simply put, I know I’m a great person with a lot to give knowing it’s only a matter of time before I cross paths with one on the same page as I am. I strongly believe it will happen so I stay as positive as I possibly can. What I feel and believe is what I radiate.
Don’t get me wrong, I certainly have my moments by they are small in comparison to the big picture I have in my mind and heart.
SlimUno
February 21st, 2012
9:07 am
Good morning,
Looks like CoolShad summed it up pretty nicely. I surely hope I don’t turn into a bitter bumpkin from being out in the crazy dating waters…
disco
February 21st, 2012
9:08 am
good morning. well I am most definitely a self-proclaimed cynic (in the sense that I am skeptical/suspicious) though I adamantly deny being bitter (resentful). I’ve noticed that often we have to define things here.
how do we stop being so bitter and cynical about it? – you have to attempt to release bitter after each and every incident that might cause you to be bitter. you hear it time and again, take time to get right with yourself after a breakup before you put all those damaged goods back on the market. personally – I don’t take issue with being cynical. being cynical, to me, is like paying attention to your gut instincts. being cynical might save you a lot of drama. sure, you might miss out on something good but more likely than not you’ll avoid something bad.
What do you do to stay optimistic and hopeful? – I’m definitely more of a pessimist than an optimist. i don’t do anything in particular to stay optimistic and hopeful. I simply take each individual person and each individual circumstance for what it is. I resist allowing myself to be lonely enough or bored enough or desperate enough to settle. all I can do is get all cliché and think “good things come to those who wait”, “god time, not people time”, “if it’s for you, you’ll have it”. blah blah blah. in a nutshell – don’t sweat it.
How do you know when to take a risk on someone and still be cautious? – I am not much of a risk taker. you either meet eligibility criteria or you don’t. that’s not saying there’s not a wee bit of wiggle room but I’m certainly not trying to rehab someone.
Timeless
February 21st, 2012
9:13 am
Tebow > Ryan @ 8:40: Exactly! There are WAY too many games being played in the dating world and, in most cases, come between happy, fulfilling relationships (but then, again how would the media and relationship magazines make money otherwise)? :=)
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
9:16 am
Trustworthiness is after you’ve proven you can be trusted. That’s not by way of happenstance. There are a few actions involved in getting to that point. Consistency, being truthful, forthcoming, so forth and so on. I need to know you won’t lead me over a ledge. I’m certainly not going to trust you…just because you said you wouldn’t.
Sorry, it’s not cynicism if I don’t trust as a result of not having proven you’re trustworthy. Plainly, I don’t trust you.
Maybe we should define cynicism.
Mornng all……
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
9:27 am
being cynical might save you a lot of drama. sure, you might miss out on something good but more likely than not you’ll avoid something bad.
Exactly. I’m neither a pessimist or optimist. I’m a realist. And if paying attention will save me a lot of drama and heartache, then I’m all the better.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
9:30 am
good post C 9:27!
Robert
February 21st, 2012
9:31 am
“What do you do to stay optimistic and hopeful?”
I was born and raised in Washington, DC which is a very different City from Atlanta. Black Women from all over the world come to DC to attend college and find a better paying job as well as seek a better quality of life. In DC quality Black Women are everywhere (Capitol Hill, K Street, Georgetown, etc.) and are eager to mingle and make new friends. Race is still the #1 problem in Atlanta (good old boy network) preventing Black Women from staying in Atlanta. I am “optimistic and hopeful” that good quality Black Women choose to stay in Atlanta rather than flee the South escaping bigotry, fear and hatred.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
9:35 am
Huh?
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
9:36 am
Robert Robert Robert….please step outside of DC. Every reference and problem and issue is not best resolved there. That’s not the only place with a supposed good dating pool.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
9:36 am
Lady
disco
February 21st, 2012
9:40 am
celisea – and I wasn’t going to point out southeast, Anacostia and all the straight up hood types in the district. it’s not all Georgetown and capitol hill for sure.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
9:41 am
like really disco! so true!
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
9:45 am
disco – Exactly. I’ve been to DC a few times…have relatives there. I’m wondering how Robert missed it all….lol
Robert
February 21st, 2012
9:48 am
@Disco – I am from East of the Potomac River and “Bama’s” like you could not make it on that side of town.
Mr_NYC
February 21st, 2012
9:50 am
Because you’re cautious does not make you cynical. IMO cynics assign malicious or ulterior motives to kind gestures without good reason.
Robert
February 21st, 2012
9:52 am
1. I am “optimistic and hopeful” that good quality Black Women choose to stay in Atlanta rather than flee the South escaping bigotry, fear and hatred.
2. Black Women do not have to settle for baseball caps, blue jeans and sneaker wearing ATL clowns and bama’s.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
9:53 am
0_o well sir!
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
9:54 am
Mr_NYC good post!
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
9:54 am
Oh boy!
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
9:57 am
Yikes
Good post Mr_NYC
disco
February 21st, 2012
9:58 am
Robert – well I’ll be. name calling so early in the morning. your being from the east side of the river might explain your fascination with those K street women.
leggs/celisea – I know. don’t start none, won’t be none.
Robert
February 21st, 2012
9:59 am
@Celisea – For Black Americans (Men & Women) Washington, DC is the best place in the USA to live, work and play without hatred, fear and bigotry. Georgia ranks next to last. That is a Fact!!!…
Robert
February 21st, 2012
10:00 am
@Disco – You must like the 14th & K Street men who are for sale just like the women on the “Block”.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
10:02 am
Robert, my dear….bigotry and hatred is universal. DC couldn’t hold us all if we ran there to escape. The best place to live is where you are. Due diligence in fighting the fight of hatred and bigotry is needed all the time, in all places…everywhere.
Anyway, what does that have to do with dating???
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:03 am
If she’s cynical and I’m transparent, I’m getting out of Dodge. Some men and women are wound too tight and need to loosen up and relax. I’m not saying let your gaurd down, and no one wants drama. Being terse/curt every single time, will get you left behind.
Good Morning:
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
10:04 am
@disco ~ I’m over here saying “please don’t blast him, disco, please don’t” (lol).
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:04 am
I can’t even lie I have always wanted to live the DC life and live in the suburbs on Maryland….I have very close immediate family who live and work and both places……..they seem to live well and play hard……it even seems through the recession although some lifestyles have changed they have remained afloat….speaking of family yall…….atlanta was close to my hometown and cheaper………..i won’t lie hell out of fear I settled for Atlanta! shrugs! LOL
Mr_NYC
February 21st, 2012
10:05 am
<>
Regarding this — it is normal and human to some extent, since our past experiences affect our view. I see the challenge in how MUCH you question it. If you’ve been slapped in the face 8 of 10 previous times, yes, you are going to wonder. However, one should also look at what part their own gullibility (hope it’s not a made up word) or lack of common sense played into being played for a fool. Were you really worked over by a smooth operator or were you just recklessly buying into b.s and then want to claim folks can’t be trusted.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:05 am
I still fantasize about being a lobbyist in DC!!!!!!! DC is unique in its own way!
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:08 am
@Mr_NYC I was typing something like that earlier and it never came through but great post for 10:05
Were you really worked over by a smooth operator or were you just recklessly buying into b.s and then want to claim folks can’t be trusted. <<<<< I noted I have been apart of both of these phases! One truly knows what they are dealing with and why. it is so easy to blame but it starts with self as to what you want and willing to deal with!
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
10:08 am
Washington is the capital of debauchery! Georgetown, K Street, L Street. Every city has it’s section of Simpson Aveune, even Stewart Aveune (in case you aren’t familiar with those streets, Rodney, they’re bad…)
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:10 am
you are right Ms Leggs! that is the truth.com that is what loses me with the DC assessment but I do get his point but Robert can be so crass sometimes lol waving @ Robert!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:10 am
Hey Lady:
I hope not the Monica Lewinsky style. j/k
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
10:10 am
Meant Robert….
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
10:12 am
Oh boy, I think Ex was just called to participate (play).
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:12 am
wow Blackfoote its like that?!? hmmmm hello and of course not sir!
disco
February 21st, 2012
10:12 am
leggs – I pondered it but thought I’d respond in a low key, not quite so confrontational manner. why take all of you innocents through it. who really cares after all?
lady – I’ve lived and worked in the dc area. like all places it’s got it’s good and it’s bad.
mr. nyc – I like that question. were you really worked over by a smooth operator or were you just buying into bs? I like to believe folks are buying into bs. I can’t imagine there are men out there who have game that is that tight. (don’t get riled up fellas. I know some of y’all got game but dang some of the stuff these women fall for is beyond good game, in my opinion).
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
10:13 am
Sorry, not necessarily bad, but definitely HOOD….
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:13 am
I know y’all aren’t referring to me but I’ll wave back at ya.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
10:14 am
@disco ~ I know for certain you pondered which route to go. You did good!! No need to stoop down, keep walking tall (esp. w/virtual strangers).
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:15 am
disco I visit DC regularly and other places too and Ms Leggs summed it up……..I was just saying I get Robert’s POV but I feel yall too! I see both sides!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:17 am
Lady:
You and I know it’s not like that.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
10:18 am
@MrNYC ~ excellent question…smooth operator vs. buying into BS. They can be one and the same. If your persona is that of a “smooth operator,” BS has to be your middle name. They go hand in hand in that you’re being deceitful, manipulative, accommodating even when you don’t want to, always wearing a mask. IMO. I’ve been led astray one major time in my life.
Robert
February 21st, 2012
10:19 am
@Celisea – “Anyway, what does that have to do with dating???”
You must not be a woman of color. Black Women are leaving ATL to find a better life because of hatred, fear and bigotry and it affects the quality of the dating pool. I would tell my daughter to leave ATL “ASAP”. Why stay in a “DOA” City with no hope for change.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:20 am
Leggs:
Thanks for keeping peace, more and more are we in need of people like you.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:22 am
Wow!
disco
February 21st, 2012
10:27 am
leggs is a peacekeeper. I am not. I don’t know robert’s daughter but I’d advise her to move away from daddy. if he’s east, she should move west. if he’s north, she should move south. run, child of Robert, run…..
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
10:31 am
I really hope that I don’t become cynical and bitter. I’ve been hurt a lot in the past, but I still believe in the possibility of true love. My mom calls me the eternal optimist, but I’m working hard at becoming more of a realist. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but need to learn to guard it a little better, without becoming bitter…
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:31 am
disco:
Now tha’ts just damn funny.
Mr_NYC
February 21st, 2012
10:36 am
Thank Lady, discon
@ Leggs, I see your point. Though the methods might be different the end result is the same. Sometimes though folks buy into BS when they want so hard to believe they ignore the obvious. Finding pair of VS unmentionables in his car that ain’t your size and he says he’s holding it for a friend — or you walk in on dude in bed with another chick and he say he was just using her to keep your spot warm. And you gotta ask if you should believe it. Now that’s plain crazy.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:42 am
was in a brief meeting what is going on?!?
disco
February 21st, 2012
10:43 am
mr. nyc – and I have an acquaintance who bought the whole I got gonorrhea from a toilet seat line. another acquaintance who saved money all summer long to take her daughter back to school shopping gave the money she’d saved to a guy. I can’t imagine these men have that much talk game. I think these women want to believe the words that are coming out of their mouths.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:45 am
today feels like a effin Monday! ugh! LOL
Mr_NYC
February 21st, 2012
10:48 am
@disco – I remember you mentioning that. Oops know never mind, I know a girl in Chucktown SC that fell for that exact same story. She all the way at the doc’s office trying to convince them that’s how it happened. Dang, they must be dating fellas from the same BS academy.
Watching folks fall for that stuff is train wreck painful. Want to help but then again I’d rather not know that such relationship desperation exists.
Robert
February 21st, 2012
10:52 am
“What do you do to stay optimistic and hopeful?”
I hope my comments were helpful. In 2012 I am optimistic that we can make a difference in our lives and the lives of other people and I am hopeful that we as a people (Black & White) can work together and live in a civilized society free of hatred, fear and rage/mob mentality.
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
10:53 am
Hey Robert, not so sure about that rush D.C. talk….there is a significant health epedemic occurring the capital city…the rate of new infection is 10 times that of the rest of the U.S….wasn’t gonna post that, but since gonerrhea came up, why talk about the elephant in the room
Robert
February 21st, 2012
10:54 am
@Jake a.k.a.SPJ – I am hopeful that we as a people (Black & White) can work together and live in a civilized society free of hatred, fear and rage/mob mentality.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:54 am
so true Jake! good point!
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
11:00 am
Robert but diseases are prevalent here in Atlanta and DC among the black and being the race leading most sadly…it can’t be ignored
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:03 am
Sorry been in a meeting….
Robert – You must not be a woman of color.
Boy stop…beautiful black woman
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:03 am
I saw that and skipped everything else…lol
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
11:05 am
Disease is prevalent in many places, cocentrated in some large urban communities, but each individual’s risk management is the biggest factor in whether you will be negatively impacted…but on to brighter subjects…I am the only person who laughs everytime I see the GA Lottery commercial with the actor pleading Nolo Contendre!
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
11:06 am
Am I…Jake wake up
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:07 am
run, child of Robert, run…..
Okay that was funny….disco I see you cutting up this morning
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
11:08 am
wow with the convo today…………yall got it!
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:09 am
Topic change
Robert
February 21st, 2012
11:13 am
@Lady – We live in a civilized society and social diseases are spread amongst people who do not practice safe sex (condom usage) or have multiple sex partners (men & women). We can eliminate the “fear” associated with social diseases by educating our children about safe sex practices as a preventive measure. To live in “fear” is not the solution.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
11:15 am
Robert I totally agree with that post! Knowledge is power and a responsibility however the data doesn’t lie maybe a bit skewed but it is an issue in many places.
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
11:21 am
Celisea…I am with you on the topic change, though I am partly responsible I guess…just wanted throw some facts out.
Albert
February 21st, 2012
11:27 am
CoolShadow, I once had the experience of being asked by a girlfriend, more than three years after we started dating, if the only reason I took her out to dinner was so that she’d be willing to “do it” afterwards. A situation like that makes you want to throw up your hands and say, “Well if that’s what she thinks of me after all this time, when is it ever going to get any different?”
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:32 am
Don’t feel bad Jake. I don’t you did the beat a dead horse thing. I’ve been know to do that to an issue a time or two.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:32 am
Albert – What’s “do it?”
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:33 am
I don’t “think”….is what I was saying
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
11:48 am
To be honest, BF, disco kept the peace by taking the high road. We need more people like her as well. But, thanks my tall, no comma using friend (lololol).
@Bluz ~ one thing I can say with certain is “don’t wear your heart on your sleeve”. In other words, never let them see you sweat. They will always have the upper hand and you definitely do not want that.
“…or you walk in on dude in bed with another chick and he say he was just using her to keep your spot warm. And you gotta ask if you should believe it – Please find a shotgun and relieve this girl of her ability to procreate….
Purple
February 21st, 2012
11:48 am
I am so thankful that I don’t live in a world or have a mentality that is just “black and white”
i'm swiss
February 21st, 2012
11:50 am
“I hope my comments were helpful. In 2012 I am optimistic that we can make a difference in our lives and the lives of other people and I am hopeful that we as a people (Black & White) can work together and live in a civilized society free of hatred, fear and rage/mob mentality.”
So… you’re hoping we can all move to D.C.?
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
11:55 am
When I was in Washington, I was astonished over the many homeless / street beggars I saw on just about every street corner
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
11:57 am
Me too, PR, me too! Listen buddy, if annoying Rachel and Brendan (Big Brother) can get on Amazing Race, you can! Hop to it please. I have to endure this season hearing that whiny woman and her catch phrase “no one messes with my man,” which will probably change to “no one messes with my money!” UGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
just me
February 21st, 2012
12:03 pm
Now that we’re in this racial discussion, here’s what I’ve noticed in the 14 years I’ve been in Atlanta:
There are lot of quality black women in this city. Smart, pretty, successful, run their own business, kind, great cook, etc. It is HARD for these women to find a black man that is not either intimidated by them or in jail. True. Look at the stats…not trying to start a fire, just telling it like I see it.
Mr_NYC
February 21st, 2012
12:08 pm
@Leggs lol – I’m sure a pistol will do the job just fine or a plain old-fashioned Bx NY butt-whuppin
singlelongtime
February 21st, 2012
12:19 pm
@ Robert: If you love DC so much and hate Atlanta so much…..to quote the late, great Lewis Grizzard, “Delta is ready when you are!”
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
12:20 pm
Soooooooooooo, is it cynicism or no?
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
12:24 pm
Yes, it is, Celisea!
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
12:26 pm
Legg – So you think folks being reserved leans to cynicism more so than reality?
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
12:37 pm
No, thought you were asking if Robert was being cynical.
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
12:54 pm
Everyone must be busy today…
I thought I would be busy after a long weekend, but nope. Wish I was so that my mind couldn’t wander! The ex is supposed to be moving all of his stuff out today. So glad I have a friend who does reiki and is giving me a free session tonight!!!
Willie Dynamite
February 21st, 2012
12:58 pm
Afternoon All,
I think cynicism becomes some folks reality whether they want to admit it or not. IMO its understandable in that once you’ve experienced hurt you are far less likely to go in trusting as you would waiting for the other shoe to drop per se`.
Exiled!
February 21st, 2012
1:03 pm
Bluz?
I am getting cynical with your situation. How come the moving out date seems to be changing all the time. Wasn’t he supposed to move All of his stuff on Friday while you were away?
Now it’s today?!!
How can you not have an ultimatum when it’s YOUR house here we talking about?
Talking of Game Academy?
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:03 pm
So again I ask…is it cynicism? A person can’t gauge for me and say enough is enough or that’s too much based on when you thing it’s too much. Well you can if too much is too cumbersome. Still only a person knows what they’ve endured and encoutered and really only a person can gauge for themselves too much too soon.
Like someone said this morning, be cautioned may cause you to miss out on possibly a good thing but the flip side and beating the odds of getting into something bad for you is less likely.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:05 pm
Ever heard someone speaking on a issue so much so that they sound like they’re trying to convince their own self? I think Bluzgirl is in a phase of convincing herself.
Don’t mean that as mean…just saying
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:08 pm
I must be doing better in the sweet consumption category. I forgot to pick up my GS Cookies last week from a chick on another floor. I just thought about it today
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
1:11 pm
@Ex…I had to lay the law down and tell him that if he didn’t get it out today, then the locks would be changed. He was supposed to come on Sunday, when I would be gone all day and he “forgot”! I was so upset with him. I’ve been mentally preparing myself for his stuff to be gone and it hasn’t yet. It’s time for it to be gone so I can start to move on and heal!!!
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
1:17 pm
Also…he’s been gone, just not all of his stuff. He just texted to let me know he was leaving work and heading to the house to get it all out. Thank God!!!
i'm swiss
February 21st, 2012
1:18 pm
Bluz — 1-800-SA-TRUCK (1-800-728-7825). That’s the number for the Salvation Army. They’ll take the stuff away for you & you can write it off on your taxes, to boot. Just sayin’…
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
1:20 pm
Anything left this evening will be my possessions and I’ll take it to Goodwill or SA! Thanks!!!
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
1:24 pm
@Celisea ~ being reserved is not akin to being cynical. One should be reserved in almost all they do in life. Even throwing caution to the wind I be it was thought about. Maybe not to the fullest, but a quick pro and con ran through that person’s mind. Being reserved, watchful should help to protect a person not harm them.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
1:26 pm
“He was supposed to come on Sunday, when I would be gone all day and he “forgot”! –
@Mr. NYC ~ not that ↑ is BS in its truest form. Like hell he forgot. He’s stringing you along. Hoping to come at point when you aren’t as strong as you are now. No one on God’s green Earth forget that they’re moving out from some where and have to remove their items. NO ONE!
Exiled!
February 21st, 2012
1:26 pm
@Bluz?
I’m sorry but u don’t sound legit to me nor serious anymore
How can somebody tell u they ‘forgot’? They are playing with u..
U proly cry into his arms each time u see him or maybe cry over the phone. That’s why he ain’t serious.
Be tough,take it on the chin and Yell at him to get his stuff(2 hours max) otherwise u put it out!
Then afterwards in silence,if u have to….cry cry cry cry…(only if his d-yck was that good anyway)!
We know behavior wise,he sucks!
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
1:28 pm
what is shakin’ now folks!
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
1:28 pm
He’s just doesn’t care and is extremely insensitive. He’s not on your timeclock, you’re on his…
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
1:29 pm
wow leggs! lol #wisdom
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
1:29 pm
Hey Celisea, mind if I piggyback your post….Bluzgirl..Irecall you stating that you made this decision and some discussion regarding him not fully committing…you also have stated that he will realize he is letting go of a good thing…which is it? Also, just a thought…most men will not fully commit to woman until they feel a level of stability that will allow them to be confident in their ability to handle the responsibility of a wife/fiance…if that is what you desire…you have spoken about him being a full-time musician, is it possible that those factors may a play a role in what you perceive you did not get from him?…because you also stated he did do anything per se (cheat, baby from another woman, etc…)
Hope this is not a cart before the horse situation..best wishes though!!
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
1:30 pm
He’s not on your timeclock, you’re on his…<<<<<I allowed myself to play this sucka game before…..I think it is relevant and part of the process….Bluz when you are good and danm tired you will nip it to no ends trust!
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
1:36 pm
I just read this on fb>>>>>>>>You cannot afford to have people in your life and not know why #iblameyou #interesting
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:36 pm
Leggs – I think as stated this morning, if you’re on the receiving end, sometimes “reservations” are misunderstood. It’s not all the time about a past experience. I mean getting burned will definitely set the tone going forward but really “just because”, IMO a person should practice under precautions. All the time too, it’s not the person you’re always distrusting of but the situation. IMO people tend to be in different places so their perceptions of outcomes and how things will be are removed from one another. I was reading CoolShadow say sometimes it becomes hopping through hoops. Sometimes for one end but if you and the person are not on the same page the actions and steps are not aligned.
I agree though, and IMO, it’s naturally often and a part of and what we do as we navigate. I rarely find people that I trust off the rip. Rarely. I won’t do business or anything with anybody without something clad or solid.
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
1:36 pm
I haven’t seen him and we haven’t spoken, other than a few texts to finalize some business. With me throwing out a text that said “Don’t forget again or the locks will be changed” I think he knew I was even more serious than I already was…I’m tired of the stuff being there because it prevents me from fully moving on. He’s NOT coming back and I need to get on with my life.
I’ve got to go to lunch, but will be back on when I get back…
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
1:36 pm
did not do anything…i meant
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:38 pm
Jake…not at all…help yourself
I think Kym said once, when you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired…….
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:39 pm
Moving on is more mental than anything.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:40 pm
Glad y’all ain’t got kids because you won’t ever overcome…okay I kid…just trying to be light.
I can’t look at my kid without seeing her dad or his sister but when you move on it’s neither here nor there.
Albert
February 21st, 2012
1:42 pm
Celisea, “have sex”, of course.
Willie Dynamite
February 21st, 2012
1:43 pm
Bluz – I actually think you are handling this well. I don’t see it in your personality (whats been presented here) to fly off the handle. I do agree with everyone here in that it is time to nip it in the bud. I see you have recognized that already and given the ultimatum. Now you have to be strong and follow through with your decision if he doesn’t follow through with getting his things. Handle your hurt the best way you know how but don’t come in here tomorrow with some lame azz excuse why you are still looking at his stuff.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:43 pm
Albert – I knew that…lol Just don’t see many adults saying “do it.”
Purple
February 21st, 2012
1:44 pm
Leggs we received the application but some of the questions on there rubbed us the wrong way as we felt that they may try exploit some personal information. Questions like “dissapointments in your partner” “issues that you have not over come with each other” etc. So we decided nothing good could come from that so we will not be tryin gto get on that show.
Exiled!
February 21st, 2012
1:45 pm
Celisea?
so do u confide in friends or a friend about ur boyfriend stuff?
If u do then it’s only natural for her or them to offer an opinion because they do have opinions.
as for Bluz I think she truly is in luv with somebody who ain’t in luv with her..
If
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:46 pm
MMeello – Okay…..Not sure I’m following your 1:45???
Purple
February 21st, 2012
1:47 pm
Leggs, also they ask your criminal history not that it would disqualify you….but I doubt they would want someone on there who served time for manslaughter.
Purple
February 21st, 2012
1:48 pm
Blu is still on here whining?
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:48 pm
But to your question MMeello
No I don’t “confide” in everyone. I talk to a couple that’s going to tell me the truth. Point blank.
i'm swiss
February 21st, 2012
1:51 pm
“we felt that they may try exploit some personal information”
Purple — A reality show exploiting personal info? No! It can’t be!
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
1:52 pm
Purp….you wild….lol
its a whanburger and a side of cries for sure
Exiled!
February 21st, 2012
1:54 pm
Celisea?
Ur 1:03 a person(friend?) can gauge for me and say enough is enough..
and I was saying/responding that if u have confided to a friend,they may see what u don’t see sometimes because of the fog of luv U may have!
I don’t know if u think u are too grown to Not be fogged by luv?
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:59 pm
Mmeello – LOLOL…I had to laugh at you asking if I’m too grown to be fogged by love. NEVER….NEVER Too old to allow shenanigans or games but being “fogged” by love is a good feeling…I think
I meant “a person” being between you and the other person involved not so much friends or a third party. Sometimes it’s too much for them but for you, that’s not your reality.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
2:00 pm
@PR ~ if that’s your gut feeling, then you have to go with it. Bummer you guys were uncomfortable with some of the answers. However, if you notice, they don’t really talk about the contestants lives as a story line. The contestants feed the cameras what they want. If one doesn’t have restrain not to blow up at each other on tv, I believe that’s on them and not the show. Nonetheless, I understand….too bad because you guys would have been spectacular.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
2:03 pm
“I’m tired of the stuff being there because it prevents me from fully moving on” – not trying to dredge up old bloggers, but that sentence immediately reminded me of the box “I Am” kept in the corner in her house wondering how to get it back to her ex (well, I think she was wondering…something kept her and that box connected).
Willie Dynamite
February 21st, 2012
2:05 pm
Fellas – ok lets be realistic here and look at this from the dudes perspective.
This chick has not shut the door on them NOT being together. He has not done anything major like sleep with her BFF or sister. He has not done anything that would rank as a major offense. She obviously still is madly in love with him. She basically came to the conclusion that she doesn’t see them moving forward (commitment) together. Other than the lame excuse this dude is about one 20 minute conversation away from having his picture back on the wall and guitar back in the corner. He could do the honorable thing and get his isht and K.I.M. Then again maybe he does love this chick just doesn’t have it in him to commit to the things right now that she wants. Maybe he’s gonna stick around and fight for his chick.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:05 pm
o_0 LOL!
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
2:05 pm
@Celisea ~ apparently, Ex doesn’t read or realize who’s he’s talking to to ask that question of you (lololol).
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:06 pm
either of those could be possible WD! great assessment!
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
2:15 pm
Leggs – LOL…that was funny
Exiled!
February 21st, 2012
2:16 pm
Nah WD?!
Chic has hinted in the past that she got insecurity issues. Thing is,dude,as a music guy,sees a lotta females and we don’t know what happens coz Bluz has not gone there. But dude fraternizes a lot with his ‘customers’ u know how band guys and djs do.
So he is not committing and I think I know why.
Now,dude does not make a lot of money and I figure he leeches on the chic a lot,which makes her ummm kinda indispensable in one way and a little in control,I think.
So dude keeps coming back to the chic but all things being equal,he could have moved elsewhere. That’s my read.
But the chic is in luv,no doubt.
Dude is Not sure. I bet he got a lot of rotation in my view.
I doubt there will be commitment.
@Leggs..what’s about Celisea that I proly don’t know?
Fion
February 21st, 2012
2:17 pm
@Bluzgirl
Baby, you go ahead and say whatever it is you need to say. it’s some folks on this blog been divorced (so they say) 99yrs, children grown as hell, still talkin’ ’bout what Ex-husband slash live-in roommate didn’t do.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
2:21 pm
Fion – Why don’t you participate rather than wait in the shadows and jump out lashing INDIRECTLY at folks? I don’t get you taking stuff personal like you do. We’re blogging. Sure I’m sure some days I get on folks nerves and some days folks get on mine. We let it go, go to our separate homes and come back another day. If it gets too hot, I for one will try and stay away from it going forward (I think).
Just saying dude that’s not cool. Nobody is perfect nor claims to be.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:23 pm
wow! :/
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
2:24 pm
@Ex ~ she keeps her relationship issues within the confines of her relationship. If she should need to discuss something to get a POV other than her bf, it would be one family member and maybe one friend.
WD’s post (2:05) and the first 5.5 paragraphs (excluding Naw WD) of Ex’s post may have painted a more fuller picture. But, since they’re not the artist of the actual events, have to label the picture a possible fake (lolol)…
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:25 pm
Ex-husband slash live-in roommate didn’t do @Fion where did that come from?!? #funny! this has been an awkward blog day lol
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:25 pm
LOL Leggs!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
2:26 pm
She’s stricken with infactuations that will only relate to her emotions. Nothing no one can say will persuade her, she has to get this out of system in her own way. Helpful hints or words of advice is useless when emotions are going back and forth. In time her emotions should heal and she will see how much she gave to a relationship that she thought was meant for her.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
2:26 pm
Fion always sounds bitter
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
2:28 pm
Purp…I don’t feel like I’m whining…I’m talking about what’s going on.
Willie…thank you…I’m doing my best to handle this maturely (word?). I am still madly in love with him. He did not do anything terrible to me, but he can’t give me the love I desire and cannot committ in the long haul. I know it is best for me to move on. I also feel that he will respect my wishes and allow me to move on because he knows that he cannot give me what I want. I know that he loves me in the only way he can, which isn’t good enough anymore.
I’m not gonna lie…if he really fought for me and was ready to commit to me 100%, I may give him another chance. The thing is, that’s not gonna happen. Now that his stuff will be gone tonight, I can really, mentally, know that it’s all over and continue with the healing process. As long as his stuff has been there, that gives me the false hope of him coming crawling back to me, which he is not…
Fion
February 21st, 2012
2:28 pm
@ Lady
Man all I’m sayin’ is, I think some of these folk on here need to get a grip.
Just sayin’
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
2:29 pm
Leggs – Thanks
Blackfoote – I think you said it best. The only thing I try and say is that if you continue to relive and redish, it stays on the forefront. You have to find a place (and time) to heal and move one and get over. Yes, people will say it’s time to move on and they may be right in their assessment but really that’s a clock that you’re on when you’re going through it and it’s got to be when you’re right.
I do know though to keep talking about only keep wounds open. Say it to the right folks, get it out, cry do whatever but just make sure you’re moving on.
FTR – It takes me a minute to get over something. I’ve just learned reliving and rehashing is only to my detriment. So I say it…a few times in private and to the right folks…and then I do phase two of trying to let it go.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:30 pm
told you it was all relevant…………………
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:30 pm
Ok Fion I see……………;)
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:31 pm
meant
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
2:31 pm
I’m sure once or more some of us have felt empty and devoid of feelings when someone we loved/care about jump ship.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:32 pm
@BF I said I have been there done that I know how she feels
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
2:32 pm
but anyway Bluz knows that from me
Willie Dynamite
February 21st, 2012
2:33 pm
Black – I tend to agree with your 2:26. The hard part is when there is no smoking gun. Just the fact that she doesn’t see them happily ever after. Kudos to her for recognizing that but IMO that makes the split that much tougher. Personally I think ol boy knows that and will before all is said and done slice up her heart. I hope I’m wrong
Purple
February 21st, 2012
2:35 pm
Leggs the discolosure statement is beastly!
Bluz I am just saying you are not the norm. Around these parts folks usually only get one day of whining two days max.
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
2:37 pm
Bluzgirl…if you don’t mind, answer this, if you do mind, nevermind…
what do you define as 100% commit?…the problem may lay somewhere in this definition
Exiled!
February 21st, 2012
2:37 pm
@Bluz
If u still madly in luv with him,is there any positive u can salvage from the relationship and keep it other than dwelling on the negative of him not committing?
What do u luv bout him?
(serious question)
Does he say he luvs u?
SlimUno
February 21st, 2012
2:39 pm
Purp – So you’re saying she’s reached her Whining limit? Pretty soon those overdraft fees will start kicking in. lol
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
2:42 pm
@WD…this is the hardest split I’ve ever had because it’s not over something really bad and crazy…just that he can’t give me what I want in the long run. He does know that, but I really feel that he will respect me enough to stay gone and give me time to heal. Even though I don’t show it to him, he also knows that he has some power over me because of my feelings…but, he also wants what is best for me and I’m staying tough and not begging, crying, etc for him to come back. I stay strong in the texts back and forth (just finalizing things) and then cry on the side. I will NOT let him see that emotion. He has to know that I’m done.
Purp…I’m sorry if it seems like I’m whining. I’m just kind of writing things out. It actually helps me to get it off my chest. I have a couple of close friends that I do talk to about specific thoughts and feelings…it just feels kind of good to type it out to other people. I tend to write my feelings out better than saying them…
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
2:44 pm
EXPECTATIONS-the biggest problem with them is that they are derived from one’s own perspective
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
2:44 pm
WD:
I can really relate, my sister had a thing like this with her EX husband. She saw nothing the family could see nobody could tell her anything. He’d leave, come back and so on, finally till she was stuck in a rut and we had to bail her out.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
2:45 pm
I have to respect any woman who knows what she’s looking for in a mate and is being true to herself, her wants and her convictions to not stay with a man that in unable to give her what she wants in a relationship. Can’t beat anyone down for standing on their own convictions and not settling simple because she loves someone who clearly doesn’t love her enough to even meet her halfway….
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
2:49 pm
@Jake…I would like to get married one day and he has said that he will never marry again because his previous marriage was a disaster. He also didn’t put me at the top of his priority list in many occasions that he should have. As a musician, I can understand music being number 1, but I should be number 1.5. It’s not just the commitment issues…there are other things, like not considering my feelings about certain things, not being there for me for some big events in my life, and a few others that I don’t really want to discuss. He has a guard on his heart and is not willing to open his heart 100% and until he can do that, he will not be able to have a healthy, happy relationship. There are a lot of things that needed changing and work and I just didn’t see them happening. I put in more work and it should have been more of a mutual thing.
@Ex…he does say that he loves me very much, but he admits that he has a huge guard up and can’t give me what I want. There are so many things I love about him…his personality, his talent, his brain, his humor (he could make me laugh more than anyone), and other stuff…
Fion
February 21st, 2012
2:51 pm
@Celisea
just simply saying let Bluzgirl say what she has to say. You don’t have to like it, but in the name of “holy shock and Aw” let her say it.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
2:51 pm
Bluz:
No way am I saying you will be in a rut, what I mean by rut is the man left her 3 children, a house she couldn’t afford herself and damaged esteem. I certainly hope none of this happens to you or any one else.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
2:52 pm
@BF ~ I think I’m somewhat empty or devoid of feeling right about now. This guy who has asked me out on numerous occasions asked me out again last night. He said I don’t appear interested. Hell, not my fault if you don’t hear what I’m saying. He said he’ll put “the ball in my court” and when I’m ready to go out to let him know. I replied “don’t put the ball in my court cuz it will only deflate.” Damn, read the writing on the wall….
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
2:52 pm
@Leggs…it’s been a long road for me to get to this point to be able to push aside someone who is not giving me what I want and need. All of my friends and family are telling me how proud they are of me for having the strength to give up someone who I love, but know I don’t have a future with. In the past, I have just stuck it out until it got nasty and I really got hurt…Now, I’ve learned to value myself more and go after what I want…
Purple
February 21st, 2012
2:52 pm
Slim, LOL yes.
Bluz, don’t take it personal I am just being me. You are a woman so I guess you can whine and work it out. I think you should work it out and that is out of the norm for me.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
2:52 pm
Leggs – I feel you on that 2:45. Have know when to fold, when to stay, when to walk, when to run.
Expectations are your perceptions true, but it’s you that have to live with not feeling like things are not adequate if you going in getting all that you want/expect. That just makes for a situation waiting to go bad and folks becoming resentful because they settled in not getting what they expected.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
2:55 pm
Fion – I’m not sure why you’re talking to me about Bluzgirl, I’ve seen many take jabs and pokes in the name of fun at this…her…the very same situation. Frankly I’ve held back so not seem insensitive. I say be the hell done with it already. She’s not me though and like I stated it’s got to be done on her time. I get that and understand that.
Too buddy I haven’t been divorced so get your facts straight before you evily fixate on me or a person.
SlimUno
February 21st, 2012
2:55 pm
Yall know we are moving into the break up season because the weather will start to get warmer, we’ll have sunnier days which makes folks want to come out of hiding and out of their clothes. Let the saga begin!
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
2:55 pm
I feel ya, PR. Got it loud and clearly. At least you tried and didn’t sit around “wondering if” like so many people.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
2:57 pm
LOL…..@Leggs
Not buying I have never seen that in you.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
2:58 pm
“I would like to get married one day and he has said that he will never marry again because his previous marriage was a disaster.” – STOP, HOLD THE PRESS !
How long into the relationship did you find this out. First day, first week, first month???
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
3:00 pm
@Bluz ~ that is all I’m saying. I can’t jump on you for recognizing…some never recognize and ride it out on a horse named Misery.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
3:01 pm
Slim1:
I’ve always wondered if women knew that a sunny warm season meant bye- bye. I guess I know now……..LOL
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:02 pm
I’m ready for a bit of warm weather myself. I say that lightly because it only stays warm for a hot minute before it becomes unbearably hot
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:03 pm
What happened to disco?
I’m ready to go.
I love short weeks.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
3:03 pm
Ok, ok, I’m not void of feeling (lol). My bucket is low on tolerance. We make time for those we want to make time for. Never realized how many ways there is to tell a person “No thanks, I’m not interested!” I hope me deflating the ball drives home the point ( I doubt it).
Willie Dynamite
February 21st, 2012
3:04 pm
Slim – My wolf buddy was just saying the same thing last night. He said it never fails that from Valentines Day to Easter is like a brand new season. Just tell me you still booed up.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
3:05 pm
Since we didn’t have a winter, get ready for a blazing summer.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:05 pm
It’s gonna snow
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:05 pm
I’ve only worn my coat once this winter…
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
3:05 pm
@Leggs…I found that out after we had already fallen in love. I kept hoping he would change his mind (dumb, I know). He would dangle the carrot, though, and sometimes say that maybe in the far future he would consider it. He once said that he doesn’t want to marry anyone, but he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I even said I would settle for a “commitment ceremony.” He said the main reason he didn’t want to marry again was the government involvement and paperwork, so I brought up the commitment ceremony because it’s just an exchanging of rings in front of our friends and family without the actual filing. I would have settled for that, but he wasn’t feeling it.
disco
February 21st, 2012
3:06 pm
purple – re the whining. I co-sign.
bluzgirl – child please.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:06 pm
When it snows I hope I’m snowed in….
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:06 pm
Bam…love it…lol
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:07 pm
What say your whining ass now? LOL
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
3:07 pm
Cely:
Right it’s too hot here in the little A. I remember the days the fire dept. would come around and open up the fire hydrants. They don’t do that too much anymore out of fear of starting a riot or gangland thugs taking over.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:07 pm
Not you Bluzgirl…
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:08 pm
Blackfoote – I soooo remember the hydrants being turned on. Man oh man that was the best thing ever for cooling off. Just jumped out there
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:09 pm
I imagine someone would call the folks if it happened now.
Willie Dynamite
February 21st, 2012
3:13 pm
Cel – our snow guess might be right. You know we good to get a couple of inches Mid/late March out of the blue.
SlimUno
February 21st, 2012
3:13 pm
BF – Yeah, some of us already know how it goes down. It really became evident when just even this week, the calls and texts started trickling in. lol
WD – I plead the 1, 2 3 foe FIFTH lol Let me just say, we are in a transitional period at the moment.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
3:14 pm
@Bluz ~ ok, about how long were you into the relationship when the two of you fell in love (probably not falling at the same time)?
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:15 pm
WillieD – That’s usually how it happens. One more freakish weather turn before winter sails along. I hope so.
disco
February 21st, 2012
3:15 pm
celisea – re what happened to me. I’m here. was waiting on the bluzgirl saga to play out. it’s okay for her to feel the way she feels. thing is there comes a time to put things to rest. she said writing about it makes her feel better. maybe in a way but I’d bet she’d feel even better if she wrote about something else. to write about something else means you are thinking about something else. writing/talking about him keeps him at the forefront of your mind. she needs to put something else on her mind.
celisea/blackfoote – I saw many a folks with some tore up skin behind those fire hydrants. that water comes out hard and fast. folks would literally be getting swept across the street.
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
3:16 pm
Bluz…I guess you must do what you feel is best…you are obviously fustrated with the situation..good luck moving forward or backwards…not saying that as a joke….best wishes in either direction!!
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
3:16 pm
“He said the main reason he didn’t want to marry again was the government involvement and paperwork, so I brought up the commitment ceremony because it’s just an exchanging of rings in front of our friends and family without the actual filing. I would have settled for that, but he wasn’t feeling it.” – that’s because you called him on his BS, backed him into a corner with a lie and the only thing he could now do is walk away from that corner as though he never said anything about the “government” being the only reason. He got called on it, and he failed…miserably.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:20 pm
disco – Maybe I need to soften my stance because I said the same exact thing. Us as women can relate to her probably better than the men. But to keep rehashing is a self inflicted wound and keepin gon the forefront.
Get a journal….seriously. Not being funny. Shoot you can write, cry, bawl, get it out…all of it, while putting thoughts down.
disco – LOL…standing right in front of a hydrant at 10 being what not a hundred pounds will do it…
Willie Dynamite
February 21st, 2012
3:20 pm
Slim – Noooooooooooooooooooooo. Dayum it happens to best of yall.
SlimUno
February 21st, 2012
3:26 pm
WD – We’ll see what the next few days, weeks, or whatever brings. I had a convo with a friend the other day about relationships in general. Basically, it’s a partnership where the two folks involved are looking in the same direction with the same general goals in mind. One can’t be looking left while the other is looking up. As individuals, you still hold onto your personal goals but as far as a courtship/relationship I suppose that’s where ‘equally yoked’ comes from.
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
3:28 pm
@Leggs…probably 3 months or so…not exactly sure. We knew each other many years ago, so I think that contributed to the quick falling in love. I think it happened about the same time for us. He said it first.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
3:28 pm
Ditto to WD’s 3:30!
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
3:34 pm
And, that seems to be exactly what Bluz is talking about…they’re not equally yoked.
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
3:34 pm
Ya’ll gotta realize that I’m not just going to be over it in 2 weeks time when it was a 2 year relationship and I’m still in love with the man. I’m doing the best I can do to move on and hope that I’ll be able to sooner rather than later. I’ll try to keep my “whining” to a minimum.
On a good note, a friend of mine introduced me to a very nice looking British guy with a PhD this weekend and he’s into me! He lives out of town, which is good right now. I can take some out of town flirtation!!! Definitely not ready to jump into anything…
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
3:37 pm
@Bluz ~ I remember you two had something going before that didn’t work out (hurt) and many years later you thought it might work out (new hurt) thinking that if meant to be and a third chance occurs this time it will stick. You knew 3 months into the relationship that he never wanted to get married, been togehter now 2 years and you thought he would change. As is beaten to DEATH here and in the real world, listen to what a man says and believe what he says. Don’t go in thinking “I’m the cat’s meow and once he sees this, he’ll change his mind.” Like hell he will….
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
3:39 pm
I say that to say this…sorry, but you knowingly set yourself up. You aren’t the only one…
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:42 pm
I remember when Mark Harmon was considered sooo fine
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
3:43 pm
But…I’m the best there is out there! LOL!!! How can he not change for me?
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:43 pm
Sorry…just heard his name somewhere
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
3:45 pm
My client is telling me a spot has been spotted on her lung
Fion
February 21st, 2012
3:47 pm
@Bluzgirl
good to see, you still have your sense of humor. Just remember, no sex with Ol’ Boy. If you really want this thang to go South. If you do it will melt faster than an Ice cube on the Sun.
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
3:49 pm
Just got a text from him that says the key is under the mat, so his stuff is all out. Funny thing is that the song “Moving On” by Rascal Flatts came on my iPod at the same time.
I have to admit that there’s a little pit in my stomach knowing that it’s all done…
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
4:02 pm
@Bluz ~ humor works…keep it up. You’re doing fine.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
4:04 pm
“I have to admit that there’s a little pit in my stomach knowing that it’s all done…” – Nothing wrong with that. You’re human, and if you didn’t feel anything, you really weren’t in a relationship.
It will ge bumpier before it gets better but know it will get better.
Robert
February 21st, 2012
4:04 pm
@singlelongtime – I came to Georgia in 2006 to work for a local government with no minorities on the management team. I hope to open many doors for other minorities to take advantage of all job opportunities available know and in the future. I love my hometown (DC) but I am here and I will speak out and help other people in need. How can I help you?
disco
February 21st, 2012
4:05 pm
change your locks and then quit using up all your energy entertaining thoughts of him and then it’ll be all done.
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
4:07 pm
@disco…I wish it was that easy to just stop thinking about him. At least last night, before I went to bed, I prayed that I wouldn’t dream about him (been in my dreams for several nights) and I didn’t. I must say that prayer every night. My good friends are keeping me busy. I’m looking forward to having a reiki session tonight, which should help me with some healing.
disco
February 21st, 2012
4:09 pm
what I really meant was stop writing on here about him. this is a block of time from roughly 9am – 5pm where you can get caught up in other people’s drama or silliness. use it to your advantage. don’t bring “him” here. just try it. consider it the disco challenge.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
4:09 pm
Robert is in Georgia? You’re not in DC?
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
4:13 pm
I do wish we could have spent more time on the topic…seriously. I was looking for insight.
Bluz ain’t the only one with issues and situations.
i'm swiss
February 21st, 2012
4:13 pm
Sounds like Robert is in Forsyth county, or some such place.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
4:13 pm
LOLOL
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
4:13 pm
I’ll try Disco…I guess part of it is that this is a dating blog, so it’s easy to relate things with him. I’ll try to watch how much I post about him…I know you’re right and that I need to try to move on with my thoughts. Just bare with me!
i'm swiss
February 21st, 2012
4:29 pm
Bluz — Well why didn’t you say so in the first place? I’m sure there are plenty of blog dudes who would be more than happy to be “bare” with you, if that’s what you want.
(Sorry, the English major — and perv — in me couldn’t resist).
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
4:34 pm
Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)
February 21st, 2012
5:03 pm
Sounds like Robert is in Forsyth county, or some such place