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Too cynical to date?

I’m sure you already know this but there are a lot of bitter single people in this city. After so many dating games and dating misadventures, some people tend to become cynical.

What’s really ironic is when you are lucky enough to meet someone who won’t run game and act shady, what happens? Some people question it!

A guy calls when he says he will, and she wonders if he is too eager. I woman wants to do special things for a guy and suddenly she gets tagged as desperate.

I know we all have some battle scars, but how do we stop being so bitter and cynical about it?

What do you do to stay optimistic and hopeful?

How do you know when to take a risk on someone and still be cautious?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

233 comments Add your comment

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
3:15 pm

WillieD – That’s usually how it happens. One more freakish weather turn before winter sails along. I hope so.

disco

February 21st, 2012
3:15 pm

celisea – re what happened to me. I’m here. was waiting on the bluzgirl saga to play out. it’s okay for her to feel the way she feels. thing is there comes a time to put things to rest. she said writing about it makes her feel better. maybe in a way but I’d bet she’d feel even better if she wrote about something else. to write about something else means you are thinking about something else. writing/talking about him keeps him at the forefront of your mind. she needs to put something else on her mind.

celisea/blackfoote – I saw many a folks with some tore up skin behind those fire hydrants. that water comes out hard and fast. folks would literally be getting swept across the street.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 21st, 2012
3:16 pm

Bluz…I guess you must do what you feel is best…you are obviously fustrated with the situation..good luck moving forward or backwards…not saying that as a joke….best wishes in either direction!!

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
3:16 pm

“He said the main reason he didn’t want to marry again was the government involvement and paperwork, so I brought up the commitment ceremony because it’s just an exchanging of rings in front of our friends and family without the actual filing. I would have settled for that, but he wasn’t feeling it.” – that’s because you called him on his BS, backed him into a corner with a lie and the only thing he could now do is walk away from that corner as though he never said anything about the “government” being the only reason. He got called on it, and he failed…miserably.

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
3:20 pm

disco – Maybe I need to soften my stance because I said the same exact thing. Us as women can relate to her probably better than the men. But to keep rehashing is a self inflicted wound and keepin gon the forefront.

Get a journal….seriously. Not being funny. Shoot you can write, cry, bawl, get it out…all of it, while putting thoughts down.

disco – LOL…standing right in front of a hydrant at 10 being what not a hundred pounds will do it…

Willie Dynamite

February 21st, 2012
3:20 pm

Slim – Noooooooooooooooooooooo. Dayum it happens to best of yall.

SlimUno

February 21st, 2012
3:26 pm

WD – We’ll see what the next few days, weeks, or whatever brings. I had a convo with a friend the other day about relationships in general. Basically, it’s a partnership where the two folks involved are looking in the same direction with the same general goals in mind. One can’t be looking left while the other is looking up. As individuals, you still hold onto your personal goals but as far as a courtship/relationship I suppose that’s where ‘equally yoked’ comes from.

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
3:28 pm

@Leggs…probably 3 months or so…not exactly sure. We knew each other many years ago, so I think that contributed to the quick falling in love. I think it happened about the same time for us. He said it first.

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
3:28 pm

Ditto to WD’s 3:30!

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
3:34 pm

And, that seems to be exactly what Bluz is talking about…they’re not equally yoked.

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
3:34 pm

Ya’ll gotta realize that I’m not just going to be over it in 2 weeks time when it was a 2 year relationship and I’m still in love with the man. I’m doing the best I can do to move on and hope that I’ll be able to sooner rather than later. I’ll try to keep my “whining” to a minimum.

On a good note, a friend of mine introduced me to a very nice looking British guy with a PhD this weekend and he’s into me! He lives out of town, which is good right now. I can take some out of town flirtation!!! Definitely not ready to jump into anything…

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
3:37 pm

@Bluz ~ I remember you two had something going before that didn’t work out (hurt) and many years later you thought it might work out (new hurt) thinking that if meant to be and a third chance occurs this time it will stick. You knew 3 months into the relationship that he never wanted to get married, been togehter now 2 years and you thought he would change. As is beaten to DEATH here and in the real world, listen to what a man says and believe what he says. Don’t go in thinking “I’m the cat’s meow and once he sees this, he’ll change his mind.” Like hell he will….

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
3:39 pm

I say that to say this…sorry, but you knowingly set yourself up. You aren’t the only one…

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
3:42 pm

I remember when Mark Harmon was considered sooo fine

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
3:43 pm

But…I’m the best there is out there! LOL!!! How can he not change for me? :-)

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
3:43 pm

Sorry…just heard his name somewhere

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
3:45 pm

My client is telling me a spot has been spotted on her lung

Fion

February 21st, 2012
3:47 pm

@Bluzgirl
good to see, you still have your sense of humor. Just remember, no sex with Ol’ Boy. If you really want this thang to go South. If you do it will melt faster than an Ice cube on the Sun.

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
3:49 pm

Just got a text from him that says the key is under the mat, so his stuff is all out. Funny thing is that the song “Moving On” by Rascal Flatts came on my iPod at the same time.

I have to admit that there’s a little pit in my stomach knowing that it’s all done…

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
4:02 pm

@Bluz ~ humor works…keep it up. You’re doing fine.

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
4:04 pm

“I have to admit that there’s a little pit in my stomach knowing that it’s all done…” – Nothing wrong with that. You’re human, and if you didn’t feel anything, you really weren’t in a relationship.

It will ge bumpier before it gets better but know it will get better.

Robert

February 21st, 2012
4:04 pm

@singlelongtime – I came to Georgia in 2006 to work for a local government with no minorities on the management team. I hope to open many doors for other minorities to take advantage of all job opportunities available know and in the future. I love my hometown (DC) but I am here and I will speak out and help other people in need. How can I help you?

disco

February 21st, 2012
4:05 pm

change your locks and then quit using up all your energy entertaining thoughts of him and then it’ll be all done.

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
4:07 pm

@disco…I wish it was that easy to just stop thinking about him. At least last night, before I went to bed, I prayed that I wouldn’t dream about him (been in my dreams for several nights) and I didn’t. I must say that prayer every night. My good friends are keeping me busy. I’m looking forward to having a reiki session tonight, which should help me with some healing.

disco

February 21st, 2012
4:09 pm

what I really meant was stop writing on here about him. this is a block of time from roughly 9am – 5pm where you can get caught up in other people’s drama or silliness. use it to your advantage. don’t bring “him” here. just try it. consider it the disco challenge.

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
4:09 pm

Robert is in Georgia? You’re not in DC?

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
4:13 pm

I do wish we could have spent more time on the topic…seriously. I was looking for insight.

Bluz ain’t the only one with issues and situations.

i'm swiss

February 21st, 2012
4:13 pm

Sounds like Robert is in Forsyth county, or some such place.

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
4:13 pm

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
4:13 pm

I’ll try Disco…I guess part of it is that this is a dating blog, so it’s easy to relate things with him. I’ll try to watch how much I post about him…I know you’re right and that I need to try to move on with my thoughts. Just bare with me!

i'm swiss

February 21st, 2012
4:29 pm

Bluz — Well why didn’t you say so in the first place? I’m sure there are plenty of blog dudes who would be more than happy to be “bare” with you, if that’s what you want. :lol: (Sorry, the English major — and perv — in me couldn’t resist).

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
4:34 pm

:-P I couldn’t remember which spelling to use! LOL

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 21st, 2012
5:03 pm

Sounds like Robert is in Forsyth county, or some such place

:lol: