accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Too cynical to date?

I’m sure you already know this but there are a lot of bitter single people in this city. After so many dating games and dating misadventures, some people tend to become cynical.

What’s really ironic is when you are lucky enough to meet someone who won’t run game and act shady, what happens? Some people question it!

A guy calls when he says he will, and she wonders if he is too eager. I woman wants to do special things for a guy and suddenly she gets tagged as desperate.

I know we all have some battle scars, but how do we stop being so bitter and cynical about it?

What do you do to stay optimistic and hopeful?

How do you know when to take a risk on someone and still be cautious?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

233 comments Add your comment

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
1:08 pm

I must be doing better in the sweet consumption category. I forgot to pick up my GS Cookies last week from a chick on another floor. I just thought about it today :)

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
1:11 pm

@Ex…I had to lay the law down and tell him that if he didn’t get it out today, then the locks would be changed. He was supposed to come on Sunday, when I would be gone all day and he “forgot”! I was so upset with him. I’ve been mentally preparing myself for his stuff to be gone and it hasn’t yet. It’s time for it to be gone so I can start to move on and heal!!!

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
1:17 pm

Also…he’s been gone, just not all of his stuff. He just texted to let me know he was leaving work and heading to the house to get it all out. Thank God!!!

i'm swiss

February 21st, 2012
1:18 pm

Bluz — 1-800-SA-TRUCK (1-800-728-7825). That’s the number for the Salvation Army. They’ll take the stuff away for you & you can write it off on your taxes, to boot. Just sayin’…

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
1:20 pm

Anything left this evening will be my possessions and I’ll take it to Goodwill or SA! Thanks!!!

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
1:24 pm

@Celisea ~ being reserved is not akin to being cynical. One should be reserved in almost all they do in life. Even throwing caution to the wind I be it was thought about. Maybe not to the fullest, but a quick pro and con ran through that person’s mind. Being reserved, watchful should help to protect a person not harm them.

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
1:26 pm

“He was supposed to come on Sunday, when I would be gone all day and he “forgot”! –

@Mr. NYC ~ not that ↑ is BS in its truest form. Like hell he forgot. He’s stringing you along. Hoping to come at point when you aren’t as strong as you are now. No one on God’s green Earth forget that they’re moving out from some where and have to remove their items. NO ONE!

Exiled!

February 21st, 2012
1:26 pm

@Bluz?
I’m sorry but u don’t sound legit to me nor serious anymore

How can somebody tell u they ‘forgot’? They are playing with u..

U proly cry into his arms each time u see him or maybe cry over the phone. That’s why he ain’t serious.

Be tough,take it on the chin and Yell at him to get his stuff(2 hours max) otherwise u put it out!

Then afterwards in silence,if u have to….cry cry cry cry…(only if his d-yck was that good anyway)! :lol: We know behavior wise,he sucks!

Lady~

February 21st, 2012
1:28 pm

what is shakin’ now folks! ;)

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
1:28 pm

He’s just doesn’t care and is extremely insensitive. He’s not on your timeclock, you’re on his…

Lady~

February 21st, 2012
1:29 pm

wow leggs! lol #wisdom

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 21st, 2012
1:29 pm

Hey Celisea, mind if I piggyback your post….Bluzgirl..Irecall you stating that you made this decision and some discussion regarding him not fully committing…you also have stated that he will realize he is letting go of a good thing…which is it? Also, just a thought…most men will not fully commit to woman until they feel a level of stability that will allow them to be confident in their ability to handle the responsibility of a wife/fiance…if that is what you desire…you have spoken about him being a full-time musician, is it possible that those factors may a play a role in what you perceive you did not get from him?…because you also stated he did do anything per se (cheat, baby from another woman, etc…)

Hope this is not a cart before the horse situation..best wishes though!!

Lady~

February 21st, 2012
1:30 pm

He’s not on your timeclock, you’re on his…<<<<<I allowed myself to play this sucka game before…..I think it is relevant and part of the process….Bluz when you are good and danm tired you will nip it to no ends trust!

Lady~

February 21st, 2012
1:36 pm

I just read this on fb>>>>>>>>You cannot afford to have people in your life and not know why #iblameyou #interesting

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
1:36 pm

Leggs – I think as stated this morning, if you’re on the receiving end, sometimes “reservations” are misunderstood. It’s not all the time about a past experience. I mean getting burned will definitely set the tone going forward but really “just because”, IMO a person should practice under precautions. All the time too, it’s not the person you’re always distrusting of but the situation. IMO people tend to be in different places so their perceptions of outcomes and how things will be are removed from one another. I was reading CoolShadow say sometimes it becomes hopping through hoops. Sometimes for one end but if you and the person are not on the same page the actions and steps are not aligned.

I agree though, and IMO, it’s naturally often and a part of and what we do as we navigate. I rarely find people that I trust off the rip. Rarely. I won’t do business or anything with anybody without something clad or solid.

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
1:36 pm

I haven’t seen him and we haven’t spoken, other than a few texts to finalize some business. With me throwing out a text that said “Don’t forget again or the locks will be changed” I think he knew I was even more serious than I already was…I’m tired of the stuff being there because it prevents me from fully moving on. He’s NOT coming back and I need to get on with my life.

I’ve got to go to lunch, but will be back on when I get back…

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 21st, 2012
1:36 pm

did not do anything…i meant

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
1:38 pm

Jake…not at all…help yourself :)

I think Kym said once, when you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired…….

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
1:39 pm

Moving on is more mental than anything.

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
1:40 pm

Glad y’all ain’t got kids because you won’t ever overcome…okay I kid…just trying to be light.

I can’t look at my kid without seeing her dad or his sister but when you move on it’s neither here nor there.

Albert

February 21st, 2012
1:42 pm

Celisea, “have sex”, of course.

Willie Dynamite

February 21st, 2012
1:43 pm

Bluz – I actually think you are handling this well. I don’t see it in your personality (whats been presented here) to fly off the handle. I do agree with everyone here in that it is time to nip it in the bud. I see you have recognized that already and given the ultimatum. Now you have to be strong and follow through with your decision if he doesn’t follow through with getting his things. Handle your hurt the best way you know how but don’t come in here tomorrow with some lame azz excuse why you are still looking at his stuff.

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
1:43 pm

Albert – I knew that…lol Just don’t see many adults saying “do it.”

Purple

February 21st, 2012
1:44 pm

Leggs we received the application but some of the questions on there rubbed us the wrong way as we felt that they may try exploit some personal information. Questions like “dissapointments in your partner” “issues that you have not over come with each other” etc. So we decided nothing good could come from that so we will not be tryin gto get on that show.

Exiled!

February 21st, 2012
1:45 pm

Celisea?

so do u confide in friends or a friend about ur boyfriend stuff?

If u do then it’s only natural for her or them to offer an opinion because they do have opinions.

as for Bluz I think she truly is in luv with somebody who ain’t in luv with her..

If

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
1:46 pm

MMeello – Okay…..Not sure I’m following your 1:45???

Purple

February 21st, 2012
1:47 pm

Leggs, also they ask your criminal history not that it would disqualify you….but I doubt they would want someone on there who served time for manslaughter.

Purple

February 21st, 2012
1:48 pm

Blu is still on here whining?

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
1:48 pm

But to your question MMeello

No I don’t “confide” in everyone. I talk to a couple that’s going to tell me the truth. Point blank.

i'm swiss

February 21st, 2012
1:51 pm

“we felt that they may try exploit some personal information”

Purple — A reality show exploiting personal info? No! It can’t be! :lol:

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 21st, 2012
1:52 pm

Purp….you wild….lol

its a whanburger and a side of cries for sure

Exiled!

February 21st, 2012
1:54 pm

Celisea?
Ur 1:03 a person(friend?) can gauge for me and say enough is enough..

and I was saying/responding that if u have confided to a friend,they may see what u don’t see sometimes because of the fog of luv U may have!

I don’t know if u think u are too grown to Not be fogged by luv?

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
1:59 pm

Mmeello – LOLOL…I had to laugh at you asking if I’m too grown to be fogged by love. NEVER….NEVER Too old to allow shenanigans or games but being “fogged” by love is a good feeling…I think

I meant “a person” being between you and the other person involved not so much friends or a third party. Sometimes it’s too much for them but for you, that’s not your reality.

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
2:00 pm

@PR ~ if that’s your gut feeling, then you have to go with it. Bummer you guys were uncomfortable with some of the answers. However, if you notice, they don’t really talk about the contestants lives as a story line. The contestants feed the cameras what they want. If one doesn’t have restrain not to blow up at each other on tv, I believe that’s on them and not the show. Nonetheless, I understand….too bad because you guys would have been spectacular.

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
2:03 pm

“I’m tired of the stuff being there because it prevents me from fully moving on” – not trying to dredge up old bloggers, but that sentence immediately reminded me of the box “I Am” kept in the corner in her house wondering how to get it back to her ex (well, I think she was wondering…something kept her and that box connected).

Willie Dynamite

February 21st, 2012
2:05 pm

Fellas – ok lets be realistic here and look at this from the dudes perspective.

This chick has not shut the door on them NOT being together. He has not done anything major like sleep with her BFF or sister. He has not done anything that would rank as a major offense. She obviously still is madly in love with him. She basically came to the conclusion that she doesn’t see them moving forward (commitment) together. Other than the lame excuse this dude is about one 20 minute conversation away from having his picture back on the wall and guitar back in the corner. He could do the honorable thing and get his isht and K.I.M. Then again maybe he does love this chick just doesn’t have it in him to commit to the things right now that she wants. Maybe he’s gonna stick around and fight for his chick.

Lady~

February 21st, 2012
2:05 pm

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
2:05 pm

@Celisea ~ apparently, Ex doesn’t read or realize who’s he’s talking to to ask that question of you (lololol).

Lady~

February 21st, 2012
2:06 pm

either of those could be possible WD! great assessment!

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
2:15 pm

Leggs – LOL…that was funny

Exiled!

February 21st, 2012
2:16 pm

Nah WD?!

Chic has hinted in the past that she got insecurity issues. Thing is,dude,as a music guy,sees a lotta females and we don’t know what happens coz Bluz has not gone there. But dude fraternizes a lot with his ‘customers’ u know how band guys and djs do.

So he is not committing and I think I know why.

Now,dude does not make a lot of money and I figure he leeches on the chic a lot,which makes her ummm kinda indispensable in one way and a little in control,I think.

So dude keeps coming back to the chic but all things being equal,he could have moved elsewhere. That’s my read.

But the chic is in luv,no doubt.

Dude is Not sure. I bet he got a lot of rotation in my view.

I doubt there will be commitment.

@Leggs..what’s about Celisea that I proly don’t know?

Fion

February 21st, 2012
2:17 pm

@Bluzgirl

Baby, you go ahead and say whatever it is you need to say. it’s some folks on this blog been divorced (so they say) 99yrs, children grown as hell, still talkin’ ’bout what Ex-husband slash live-in roommate didn’t do.

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
2:21 pm

Fion – Why don’t you participate rather than wait in the shadows and jump out lashing INDIRECTLY at folks? I don’t get you taking stuff personal like you do. We’re blogging. Sure I’m sure some days I get on folks nerves and some days folks get on mine. We let it go, go to our separate homes and come back another day. If it gets too hot, I for one will try and stay away from it going forward (I think).

Just saying dude that’s not cool. Nobody is perfect nor claims to be.

Lady~

February 21st, 2012
2:23 pm

Leggs

February 21st, 2012
2:24 pm

@Ex ~ she keeps her relationship issues within the confines of her relationship. If she should need to discuss something to get a POV other than her bf, it would be one family member and maybe one friend.

WD’s post (2:05) and the first 5.5 paragraphs (excluding Naw WD) of Ex’s post may have painted a more fuller picture. But, since they’re not the artist of the actual events, have to label the picture a possible fake (lolol)…

Lady~

February 21st, 2012
2:25 pm

Ex-husband slash live-in roommate didn’t do @Fion where did that come from?!? #funny! this has been an awkward blog day lol

Lady~

February 21st, 2012
2:25 pm

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

February 21st, 2012
2:26 pm

She’s stricken with infactuations that will only relate to her emotions. Nothing no one can say will persuade her, she has to get this out of system in her own way. Helpful hints or words of advice is useless when emotions are going back and forth. In time her emotions should heal and she will see how much she gave to a relationship that she thought was meant for her.

Celisea

February 21st, 2012
2:26 pm

Fion always sounds bitter

Bluzgirl

February 21st, 2012
2:28 pm

Purp…I don’t feel like I’m whining…I’m talking about what’s going on.

Willie…thank you…I’m doing my best to handle this maturely (word?). I am still madly in love with him. He did not do anything terrible to me, but he can’t give me the love I desire and cannot committ in the long haul. I know it is best for me to move on. I also feel that he will respect my wishes and allow me to move on because he knows that he cannot give me what I want. I know that he loves me in the only way he can, which isn’t good enough anymore.

I’m not gonna lie…if he really fought for me and was ready to commit to me 100%, I may give him another chance. The thing is, that’s not gonna happen. Now that his stuff will be gone tonight, I can really, mentally, know that it’s all over and continue with the healing process. As long as his stuff has been there, that gives me the false hope of him coming crawling back to me, which he is not…