Too cynical to date?
I’m sure you already know this but there are a lot of bitter single people in this city. After so many dating games and dating misadventures, some people tend to become cynical.
What’s really ironic is when you are lucky enough to meet someone who won’t run game and act shady, what happens? Some people question it!
A guy calls when he says he will, and she wonders if he is too eager. I woman wants to do special things for a guy and suddenly she gets tagged as desperate.
I know we all have some battle scars, but how do we stop being so bitter and cynical about it?
What do you do to stay optimistic and hopeful?
How do you know when to take a risk on someone and still be cautious?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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233 comments Add your comment
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:15 am
disco I visit DC regularly and other places too and Ms Leggs summed it up……..I was just saying I get Robert’s POV but I feel yall too! I see both sides!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:17 am
Lady:
You and I know it’s not like that.
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
10:18 am
@MrNYC ~ excellent question…smooth operator vs. buying into BS. They can be one and the same. If your persona is that of a “smooth operator,” BS has to be your middle name. They go hand in hand in that you’re being deceitful, manipulative, accommodating even when you don’t want to, always wearing a mask. IMO. I’ve been led astray one major time in my life.
Robert
February 21st, 2012
10:19 am
@Celisea – “Anyway, what does that have to do with dating???”
You must not be a woman of color. Black Women are leaving ATL to find a better life because of hatred, fear and bigotry and it affects the quality of the dating pool. I would tell my daughter to leave ATL “ASAP”. Why stay in a “DOA” City with no hope for change.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:20 am
Leggs:
Thanks for keeping peace, more and more are we in need of people like you.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:22 am
Wow!
disco
February 21st, 2012
10:27 am
leggs is a peacekeeper. I am not. I don’t know robert’s daughter but I’d advise her to move away from daddy. if he’s east, she should move west. if he’s north, she should move south. run, child of Robert, run…..
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
10:31 am
I really hope that I don’t become cynical and bitter. I’ve been hurt a lot in the past, but I still believe in the possibility of true love. My mom calls me the eternal optimist, but I’m working hard at becoming more of a realist. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but need to learn to guard it a little better, without becoming bitter…
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
February 21st, 2012
10:31 am
disco:
Now tha’ts just damn funny.
Mr_NYC
February 21st, 2012
10:36 am
Thank Lady, discon
@ Leggs, I see your point. Though the methods might be different the end result is the same. Sometimes though folks buy into BS when they want so hard to believe they ignore the obvious. Finding pair of VS unmentionables in his car that ain’t your size and he says he’s holding it for a friend — or you walk in on dude in bed with another chick and he say he was just using her to keep your spot warm. And you gotta ask if you should believe it. Now that’s plain crazy.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:42 am
was in a brief meeting what is going on?!?
disco
February 21st, 2012
10:43 am
mr. nyc – and I have an acquaintance who bought the whole I got gonorrhea from a toilet seat line. another acquaintance who saved money all summer long to take her daughter back to school shopping gave the money she’d saved to a guy. I can’t imagine these men have that much talk game. I think these women want to believe the words that are coming out of their mouths.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:45 am
today feels like a effin Monday! ugh! LOL
Mr_NYC
February 21st, 2012
10:48 am
@disco – I remember you mentioning that. Oops know never mind, I know a girl in Chucktown SC that fell for that exact same story. She all the way at the doc’s office trying to convince them that’s how it happened. Dang, they must be dating fellas from the same BS academy.
Watching folks fall for that stuff is train wreck painful. Want to help but then again I’d rather not know that such relationship desperation exists.
Robert
February 21st, 2012
10:52 am
“What do you do to stay optimistic and hopeful?”
I hope my comments were helpful. In 2012 I am optimistic that we can make a difference in our lives and the lives of other people and I am hopeful that we as a people (Black & White) can work together and live in a civilized society free of hatred, fear and rage/mob mentality.
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
10:53 am
Hey Robert, not so sure about that rush D.C. talk….there is a significant health epedemic occurring the capital city…the rate of new infection is 10 times that of the rest of the U.S….wasn’t gonna post that, but since gonerrhea came up, why talk about the elephant in the room
Robert
February 21st, 2012
10:54 am
@Jake a.k.a.SPJ – I am hopeful that we as a people (Black & White) can work together and live in a civilized society free of hatred, fear and rage/mob mentality.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
10:54 am
so true Jake! good point!
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
11:00 am
Robert but diseases are prevalent here in Atlanta and DC among the black and being the race leading most sadly…it can’t be ignored
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:03 am
Sorry been in a meeting….
Robert – You must not be a woman of color.
Boy stop…beautiful black woman
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:03 am
I saw that and skipped everything else…lol
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
11:05 am
Disease is prevalent in many places, cocentrated in some large urban communities, but each individual’s risk management is the biggest factor in whether you will be negatively impacted…but on to brighter subjects…I am the only person who laughs everytime I see the GA Lottery commercial with the actor pleading Nolo Contendre!
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
11:06 am
Am I…Jake wake up
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:07 am
run, child of Robert, run…..
Okay that was funny….disco I see you cutting up this morning
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
11:08 am
wow with the convo today…………yall got it!
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:09 am
Topic change
Robert
February 21st, 2012
11:13 am
@Lady – We live in a civilized society and social diseases are spread amongst people who do not practice safe sex (condom usage) or have multiple sex partners (men & women). We can eliminate the “fear” associated with social diseases by educating our children about safe sex practices as a preventive measure. To live in “fear” is not the solution.
Lady~
February 21st, 2012
11:15 am
Robert I totally agree with that post! Knowledge is power and a responsibility however the data doesn’t lie maybe a bit skewed but it is an issue in many places.
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
February 21st, 2012
11:21 am
Celisea…I am with you on the topic change, though I am partly responsible I guess…just wanted throw some facts out.
Albert
February 21st, 2012
11:27 am
CoolShadow, I once had the experience of being asked by a girlfriend, more than three years after we started dating, if the only reason I took her out to dinner was so that she’d be willing to “do it” afterwards. A situation like that makes you want to throw up your hands and say, “Well if that’s what she thinks of me after all this time, when is it ever going to get any different?”
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:32 am
Don’t feel bad Jake. I don’t you did the beat a dead horse thing. I’ve been know to do that to an issue a time or two.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:32 am
Albert – What’s “do it?”
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
11:33 am
I don’t “think”….is what I was saying
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
11:48 am
To be honest, BF, disco kept the peace by taking the high road. We need more people like her as well. But, thanks my tall, no comma using friend (lololol).
@Bluz ~ one thing I can say with certain is “don’t wear your heart on your sleeve”. In other words, never let them see you sweat. They will always have the upper hand and you definitely do not want that.
“…or you walk in on dude in bed with another chick and he say he was just using her to keep your spot warm. And you gotta ask if you should believe it – Please find a shotgun and relieve this girl of her ability to procreate….
Purple
February 21st, 2012
11:48 am
I am so thankful that I don’t live in a world or have a mentality that is just “black and white”
i'm swiss
February 21st, 2012
11:50 am
“I hope my comments were helpful. In 2012 I am optimistic that we can make a difference in our lives and the lives of other people and I am hopeful that we as a people (Black & White) can work together and live in a civilized society free of hatred, fear and rage/mob mentality.”
So… you’re hoping we can all move to D.C.?
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
11:55 am
When I was in Washington, I was astonished over the many homeless / street beggars I saw on just about every street corner
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
11:57 am
Me too, PR, me too! Listen buddy, if annoying Rachel and Brendan (Big Brother) can get on Amazing Race, you can! Hop to it please. I have to endure this season hearing that whiny woman and her catch phrase “no one messes with my man,” which will probably change to “no one messes with my money!” UGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
just me
February 21st, 2012
12:03 pm
Now that we’re in this racial discussion, here’s what I’ve noticed in the 14 years I’ve been in Atlanta:
There are lot of quality black women in this city. Smart, pretty, successful, run their own business, kind, great cook, etc. It is HARD for these women to find a black man that is not either intimidated by them or in jail. True. Look at the stats…not trying to start a fire, just telling it like I see it.
Mr_NYC
February 21st, 2012
12:08 pm
@Leggs lol – I’m sure a pistol will do the job just fine or a plain old-fashioned Bx NY butt-whuppin
singlelongtime
February 21st, 2012
12:19 pm
@ Robert: If you love DC so much and hate Atlanta so much…..to quote the late, great Lewis Grizzard, “Delta is ready when you are!”
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
12:20 pm
Soooooooooooo, is it cynicism or no?
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
12:24 pm
Yes, it is, Celisea!
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
12:26 pm
Legg – So you think folks being reserved leans to cynicism more so than reality?
Leggs
February 21st, 2012
12:37 pm
No, thought you were asking if Robert was being cynical.
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2012
12:54 pm
Everyone must be busy today…
I thought I would be busy after a long weekend, but nope. Wish I was so that my mind couldn’t wander! The ex is supposed to be moving all of his stuff out today. So glad I have a friend who does reiki and is giving me a free session tonight!!!
Willie Dynamite
February 21st, 2012
12:58 pm
Afternoon All,
I think cynicism becomes some folks reality whether they want to admit it or not. IMO its understandable in that once you’ve experienced hurt you are far less likely to go in trusting as you would waiting for the other shoe to drop per se`.
Exiled!
February 21st, 2012
1:03 pm
Bluz?
I am getting cynical with your situation. How come the moving out date seems to be changing all the time. Wasn’t he supposed to move All of his stuff on Friday while you were away?
Now it’s today?!!
How can you not have an ultimatum when it’s YOUR house here we talking about?
Talking of Game Academy?
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:03 pm
So again I ask…is it cynicism? A person can’t gauge for me and say enough is enough or that’s too much based on when you thing it’s too much. Well you can if too much is too cumbersome. Still only a person knows what they’ve endured and encoutered and really only a person can gauge for themselves too much too soon.
Like someone said this morning, be cautioned may cause you to miss out on possibly a good thing but the flip side and beating the odds of getting into something bad for you is less likely.
Celisea
February 21st, 2012
1:05 pm
Ever heard someone speaking on a issue so much so that they sound like they’re trying to convince their own self? I think Bluzgirl is in a phase of convincing herself.
Don’t mean that as mean…just saying