Dating single parents: The good, bad, and ugly

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 16th, 2012
8:16 am

“especially when everyone agrees the kids come first”

Bad thinking.

In my day – son of single mom – her happiness was tantamount. Our comfort with the guy was second, but you had to get over that first hurdle to even ‘meet the kids’.

This^ statement is what’s wrong with a lot of the kids and parents today. A kid is going to follow suit – that is go along with whatever is in front of them – until they know (and can do) better.

Placing a childs happiness at the center of one life is dumb, let alone placing it front and center of two merging lives.

For the child(ren) to be happy, the parent(s) must be happy in order to provide stability and create an environment for the child(ren) to thrive.

Kids happiness and health are important, but they shouldn’t be the most important thing in an adult relationship. I’m still a believer in a “top, down” management style, freak “bottom up”.

Julie

February 16th, 2012
8:22 am

I dated a man with kids and needless to say, that will never happen again! Part of this is knowing who you are and I want to come first in my man/husbands life, not his kids and baby momma. Therfore since I know what matters to me, I don’t even go there.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
8:22 am

Dan that is an EXCELLENT POST!!!!!!!

Morning MIA!!!!!!

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
8:25 am

For the child(ren) to be happy, the parent(s) must be happy in order to provide stability and create an environment for the child(ren) to thrive.

Kids happiness and health are important, but they shouldn’t be the most important thing in an adult relationship. I’m still a believer in a “top, down” management style, freak “bottom up”.

^^^^^^^^^^Absolutely love this and embracing this theme as I start my relationship as a single mother.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 16th, 2012
8:43 am

@Julie

You’ll be first…for about two minutes.

A man’s first consideration for the people in his life is (physical)saftey, then security (usu. financial, but also environmental).

Your happiness, and the attention given to you, then becomes part of a formula of providing the things he feels that you need, the things he needs to give you (see above), and the things he wants for himself.

While I don’t know you age, I do know this: if you don’t get over that need to be ‘first’ or the center of attention in a relationship, you’ll find yourself ‘first’…in line at ladies night 2020, wondering how it happened.

#getrealwitchyaself

David

February 16th, 2012
8:45 am

Parents, both single and married, must place the UNION of the adults as FIRST. The children are very important, but kids are also learning from the parents how to relate and deal with the opposite sex. I know married parents that simply live through their kids and pay little attention to each other as husband/wife, lovers and companions. Those parents wake up one day when the children leave the nest and wonder “Now WHO are you again?” That is a lonely road and leads to many breakups. I even know a married couple that was contemplating divorce have the counselor tell them “If you are staying together simply for the sake of the kids, that is the absolute wrong approach.” Kids ARE important, but paying attention to each other so you can set a loving example for the kids should be positively #1.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
8:46 am

good post David!

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
8:58 am

I wasn’t gonna post but reading Dan’s, I feel inclined.

First of all you must have kids in order to speak or have real insight. Being a product of a single family home doesn’t really qualify you as an expert (no slant to you Dan).

The statement: “For children to be happy, the parent(s) must be” should be taken with a grain of salt and just depends on the age group. For 2 or 3 year olds, yes, for 15,16,17….your happiness won’t so much matter to them. At that age, what makes them happy is doing whatever the heck THEY think is right and a hundred times out of a hundred they are wrong.

I just wanted to paint a picture of reality that going through the teen years ain’t the bed of blues for all parents as it is for some, if you rule them and your house but for all your happiness and the happiness you can give, it won’t make them happy during these years. Your happiness and their happiness are far removed and on different ends of the spectrum.

I agree though what you do in front of them will be the behavior they learn and adapt.

I for one didn’t “date” so much during my kid’s baby years but it wasn’t for her “happiness” so much as it was for cultivating and pruning and rearing. And really, I didn’t have the time…often. As a parent or single parent I shoud say, the hard reality is there are sacrifices and things you give up. Usually it’s the stuff you like and enjoy. Yes, you can have a life but if you’re serious about raising a healthy, thriving, well-balanced (not perfect) child, then sacrifice you will make. Not saying you CAN’T, but sometimes (for me), it was just easier and better and less stressful to do without something steady. A night out here or there to catch a break, yes but again…FOR ME….I didn’t do it.

Now that my kid is older and stepping off into finding a life of her own, I still have the guiding hand and the authority but I’m in a place where I can pull back the reigns of my life and have a little fun. I’m in a place where I can talk openly and explain and tell and teach (not that I haven’t been). I’m not in a place of becoming frivolous as I’ll never be, I’m not in a place of losing descretion but I’m in a place where I can have that separate privacy…something I didn’t so much do during the younger years. So forth and so on.

Roberta

February 16th, 2012
9:02 am

What’s the difference between “insane” and “clinically insane”?

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
9:04 am

C I am bout to email you!

I love the best of both worlds on this blog!

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
9:06 am

Morning.

I am one of those who stayed together for the sake of my child. Growing up w/o a father I wanted her to have a two-parent household simply because of my own idealistic views. It became apparent that although her happiness was vital to me, the unhealthy marriage negated any and all that I thought I was accomplishing. Although divorce can damage some kids, I firmly believe it’s how life is handled after the divorce that truly helps children understand and transition into their parents leading lives apart from one another.

Being a divorced parent, I must take into account my child’s happiness. Is it above my own, sometimes! It’s not only dangerous, but quite foolish to bring men around your child simply because that is your new flavor of the month. Let the relationship grow, determine if both parties are truly willing to put in the work toward development. As time goes by, you will know if and when it’s time to introduce your children. What one shouldn’t do is hide the fact they indeed have children. Why people do that is beyond my scope of reasoning.

disco

February 16th, 2012
9:08 am

good morning. I’ll show my selfish, shallow side and let it be known that I don’t want anything to do with single parents of minor children right now. heck no. as randy says been there, done that, have tshirts, battle scars and paperwork to prove it. I’ve raised mine and have no desire to raise anyone else’s right now. I’ve even discovered that I have limited tolerance for adult children who still act like and are treated like small children. nope. not saying it’s not rewarding for those who don’t mind it but I mind it.

Julie – DITTO. boy was I there and I had to let that one go. I dated a guy whose ex-wife had legal custody but he had physical custody (the kids wanted to be with him) but he continued to pay the ex-wife child support to keep the peace. I told him he needed to man up and get his business right. he didn’t see it my way. he figured I just didn’t like his kids. had to let that buster go.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 16th, 2012
9:08 am

@Cel

Thank you for sharing, and I didn’t take it as a slight.

I have the distinct pleasure of seeing from both sides – not in the infant, completely helpless stage (though I know enough single mom’s to have experienced it).

And no disrespect to your more than admirable decision Cel, but allow me to ask, if you found someone in your child’s younger days – whether looking or not – would you have considered your child’s happiness before your own?

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
9:09 am

@Celisea ~ reading Dan’s post I thought of your first sentence. Dan speaks often of his single mom and his perspective is from that angle and how she raised him and how he was protective of her. You don’t necessarily have the same views when you have children of your own.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
9:11 am

Lady – Okay

Honestly, because of the place where my kid’s father was during that time, I’m sooo grateful she didn’t grow up with him and really she’s all the better. I’m not wishing any ill will towards him, I just know for his state and where he was, if having a physical male present that’s not ready going to do more harm than help, than I’d rather not.

Julie

February 16th, 2012
9:12 am

@Dan-While you have a right to voice your opinion, I have a right to voice mine. Dude I prolly know myself better then you know yourself. I think when you know what you want or don’t want, you save a lot of people time and heartache. There are too many other variables that you don’t know about me to make such a generalization as my current or future relationship status. But what I do know is my post must have pushed a button. Get over it!

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
9:18 am

You don’t necessarily have the same views when you have children of your own. <<<<<Leggs that is so true too……..Becoming a parent you see the world so differently and often times try to make up the wrongs your parents did per se good point!

single and out & about

February 16th, 2012
9:19 am

I am stuck somewhere in the middle. I am a recently single mom of two girls. I grew up in what I call “Ozzie & Harriett land” so I thought everyone stayed together forever and always. When problems arose, I stuck it out “for my children” finally I realized that I was doing my children more damage than good. They were witnessing exactly what I would never want for them. Now that I am single nd trying to navigate the dating life; I am very protective of my girls. I don’t want men coming in and out of their lives while I’m just dating and don’t want their lives to be disrupted. They have already survived a divorce & the last thing I want is for my impressionable girls to have “daddy issues” because they have seen me trying to date normally. But I do totally get what Dan is saying – I do want to find that happiness with a significant other and I want them to see what it means to be in a healthy relationship and hopefully have the same in their future.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
9:20 am

Dan – I did. The stockbroker. She was 3. That was a VERY hard thing to walk away from. I had to consider a number of things. So it was her best interest….and his….that I made my decision. When I mentioned on here the other day, two men in my life that was always understanding of “not spending the night” and wanting days of quality time, he was one of them. I remember him asking me after dating for some time, “why don’t you just pack an overnight bag” and I said…”I can’t. He was cool with it and that didn’t get in the way but really how can you mesh and vibe and connect and interact…truly come together on scheduled visits? So that’s what I meant by being considerate of him. So I didnt’ take her around him a lot (maybe 3 times) as my sister would keep her when we wanted time together but it was difficult trying to do her and him separately. I think in retrospect you can merge both but you gotta be REEEEEAL careful and have to REEAAAALLY have a quality standup person. A person who interests aligns with yours….for your kid. I don’t think back then I knew that nor knew how to do. So I always kept both worlds separated. Eventually, I chose her world over mine or any potential suitor.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 16th, 2012
9:20 am

@Julie

The snark was an uncalled for attack in an attempt to be funny, no personal offense intended.

And I take your point about “knowing [yourself] and what you want”, but question: what do you think happens when you get married? And I ask this under the assumption that’s something you’re interested in. If not, no dis and my apology still stands.

@Leggs

Yeah, me and my mom were close – very close. And while being a parent does provide a different perspective than I’ve ever experienced, hear what I’m saying.

Despite her more than noble intentions, I grew up seeing my mom lonely. I saw her yearning for companionship and someone to understand her and her struggle. And that affected me in ways that I’m just starting to understand.

As stated earlier, kids see and experience life right along with their parents so emotional states like happiness, sadness, remorse, and yes lonliness can’t be hidden. You don’t have to talk about it for it to be felt (by you or anyone else).

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
9:23 am

but what I am noticing her currently with me is doing what works best for me definitively and unapologetically…….That comes with self awareness

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
9:24 am

Good morning,

I don’t have much experience in dating a guy with kids nor to I really have a desire to. I do realize that i’m pushing 34 this year and the dating pool of finding a decent guy who has not been married, doesn’t have any kids but would like to get married and possibly want to have a child is dwindling year by year..so not much to add to the topic.

Now in stealth lurking mode…

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
9:25 am

As stated earlier, kids see and experience life right along with their parents so emotional states like happiness, sadness, remorse, and yes lonliness can’t be hidden. You don’t have to talk about it for it to be felt (by you or anyone else). <<<<<<<I agree with this!

single and out & about

February 16th, 2012
9:27 am

Lady~Sunshine… I agree as well and hope that my girls do not feel my lonliness, etc…. I try and keep it all very separate but am always worried that it bleeds into their lives…

nelsonh

February 16th, 2012
9:28 am

That is a great question. I really like it. If the single parent is a mother of small children it is a safe bet she is looking for a guy to help her raise the kids financially. Soooooo if the mother has her own financial resorces it makes the guy’s decision a whole lot easier. I remember a single[almost] mother, I was wild about her. She had a couple of small children. And just when I thought things could not get any better, a relative of hers died and left her ooooodles of money. Now, this was the cherry on top of the sunday.
Do you want to know what happened?you do? Well I’ll tell you, she dumped me and took her husband back. Now how much sadder can a story get?

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
9:29 am

who’s

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
9:32 am

single and out & about I felt your post as well!!!!! we are >>>>>HERE<<<<<

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
9:42 am

Interesting discussion really!

I see Dan point and I get Celisea point too.

They are All valid and it depends on the situation.

And I agree with whoever said you won’t know until u have kids of ur own.

I would stay in my marriage,if I wasn’t that too happy with it,for the sake of my kids. It’s kinda the flip side of this discussion.

Kids need to be raised well,with role models around them..the whole nine. So if a single parent female or guy feels that bringing different folks into the picture is detrimental for the kids,I can understand that. I can see how I would hate that if my ex were doing that.

As an adult you are in better control of situations than a kid. Show a kid the wrong way and it spoils them for life.

That’s why,while I respect Dan’s point mightily,I would respect more,the female/male that defers dating until they have raised the kids to a respectable and more attuned age.

There are a lot of irresponsible single parents out there. Jeeveing and Jiving in full view of the kids.

That surely can wait!

single and out & about

February 16th, 2012
9:43 am

that we are. This delicate balance is difficult to manuver and sometimes I feel like I am failing miserably at it while other times I feel like I am spot on. More than anything these days I feel like the quality of what I am meeting out there is not what I would want to bring home to our (me & my girls) comfort zone… Even more difficult in itself.
It is so true that what you would “have fun with” and possibly date when you don’t have children to consider is completely different than what you will tolerate and deal with having children in your lives

disco

February 16th, 2012
9:45 am

well in the words of jody’s momma on baby boy – “momma’s gotta live too” (or something like that).

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
9:49 am

Morning All!

Hey Dan! How goes it, hope all is well with you & yours? I get and appreciate your perspective. It is often missing in discussions like this.

I can also really appreciate you talking about seeing your mom lonely. People don’t realize how much kids want to see their parents happy and how important it is to for them to see an example of a healthy, happy relationship. Once they are past the “wanting mommy and daddy to get back together” state, they want mom or dad to be happy. Those kids that never want to see the parent date are usually the brats that think the whole world revolves around them and they get a rude awakening when they realize it doesn’t.

I didn’t have any kids of my own, but my husband had them with his late wife. He didn’t have a revolving door going on and the kids met me within 3 months of dating. They expressed often how they wanted us to marry. They love and will never forget their mother, but they wanted their dad happy too. I appreciate it that, while my husband adores his kids and will do anything for them, he also puts our marriage front and center and does not allow the kids to run things. Some folks take the “my kids come first” thing to the extreme and he doesn’t.

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
9:50 am

@single ~ it does bleed into their lives. Mine is now a teenager and sh’s constantly telling me to go out more, go the party I declined, get out the house more. She tells me I’m a good person and a great mother, but I need to find companionship. Damn, that teared me up because for some reason I didn’t want her to wonder or worry over me not dating much.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 16th, 2012
9:50 am

@Ex/all

I understand and respect the decision to not ‘date’ when you have kids…

But I also recognize the tradeoffs, both immediate and long term, for both the parent(s) and the child(ren).

It’s definitely a hard choice to make….

disco

February 16th, 2012
9:54 am

dan – you said the magic word – “choice”. it’s about making wise choices. you can choose to bring a good man/woman around your kids or you can choose to bring the wrong one. it’s no secret that a lot of women bring men into their lives and those same men end up molesting their children. and the term “evil/wicked stepmother” was put into circulation for a reason. the parent with the small children has to really focus on making a good decision. a good step-parent can be very beneficial. a bad step-parent can be very detrimental.

single and out & about

February 16th, 2012
9:56 am

@Leggs ~ my oldest is a preteen and say the same things to me. She is constantly telling me that I’m hot and wants me to go out, date and enjoy myself and regularly talks about that she wants me to be happy because I deserve it. like you said it is hard knowing that they worry about us almost as much as we worry about them. just a delicate balance.
And I know that it has been said to focus on my happiness and they will adjust but as a mom I consider will the person I’m on a date with not only work in my life but work in all of our lives cause there is 3 of us not just me. Does that make sense? Granted maybe that is why I am still single and not able to find anyone….

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
9:56 am

leggs tears all they way around LOL I just told C I am so emotional this morning LOL!!! very teary eyed! lol

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
9:57 am

disco great post 9:54!!!!!!! This subject is a new venture for me and a very sensitive one…..

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 16th, 2012
9:59 am

@Kimmie

All is well, thank you for asking. Here’s hoping all is well with you and yours.

For those that don’t know: I married a single mother – after forswearing never to date one.

We have discussions about her life post divorce and people she ‘dated’, the thought process of meeting the kids, etc.

And I’ve stated before that one of my main concerns with dating a single mom was getting attached to the kids (and vice versa). Having to deal with the loss of a parent’s companion – be it through attrition or a mutual decision – is something traumatic for children.

So, I’m extra sensitive to their perspective with what goes on between their ‘parents’ (all 3 of us), and if nothing else we try and present a united front on matters big and smal;, and keep our discussions private.

But knowing how to give/receive affection is something that I (slightly) missed out on growning up, and again, it’s affecting me now.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
9:59 am

My concern was first the sort of things done before her and yes, secondly having a joker around my kid that “like” little kids. Ut uh. I just couldn’t fathom bringing someone into my home that harmed my kid nor could I fathom bringing someone in my home where I’d have to watch both him and her. I’d say you’re naieve to bring someone in and assume they have the best interest of your child and forego keeping a watchful eye. Yes we all gotta live but when you decide to make babies and bring them in this world, you have a responsibility to see to it that they have the right footing for stepping off ont he good foot in life and if that means scaling back yours for theirs then that’s what you do as a good parent. I don’t recall really giving a lot of thought behind “what to do, what to do”….it’s what you do naturally…meaning “what’s best for them.”

Of course this is just my life, my view, my perspective. Not intended to push or persuade anyone else’s view.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:05 am

C you funny with your disclaimers! hot mess LOL

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
10:06 am

Great discussion, I dated a single -mom with a toddler once, it was definitely uncomfortable for me…sneakin in late, leaving early often. Had some moments with the young child, but I distinctly remember feeling that I needed to get out of the relationship before the kid developed some attachment to me because I knew I wouldn’t be there for the long haul. Part of why I knew I wouldnt be there was that she had small child, I was not ready to “step in” for the baby daddy. She was a good woman, and “IT” was wet and tasty, but we both could see that writing on wall.

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
10:07 am

“But I also recognize the tradeoffs, both immediate and long term, for both the parent(s) and the child(ren).

It’s definitely a hard choice to make….” – It most definitely is. Didn’t even consider dating immediately after my divorce, but didn’t consciously take into consideration the long term negative side of putting of dating. I for one really didn’t take age to be a big factor once I decided to start dating again, but I’m not the same person I was at 45. I’m still in my prime, but some people do not consider age just a number. I’m very, very thankful I don’t look my age, my body doesn’t look my age, but I am still my age!

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
10:09 am

“But knowing how to give/receive affection is something that I (slightly) missed out on growning up, and again, it’s affecting me now.: – I am proud of you Dan for recognizing this. It’s never too late to correct. You good people, as long as you’re willing to make changes, it can only be good!

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:10 am

She was a good woman, and “IT” was wet and tasty, but we both could see that writing on wall. <<<<<<Jake so damn true!!!! lol

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:10 am

I agree Leggs 10:09!

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:13 am

Thank you Jake…the top of your post is what I decided against. That’s what I meant by to hard of a thing to do. I’m not “sneaking” and getting in where I fit in…with a young child. I want the full blown open healthy thriving relationship….that or nothing.

Not doing a relationship during those tot years didn’t kill me…lol I’m still here. I don’t regret my decision either. Like I said in retrospect if you have discernment, insight and oversight and a really really really good, standup, quality mate, maybe.

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
10:14 am

If things are really bad at home, I don’t advocate staying together for the kids. It’s a lot of stress on them, more than folks realize. My parents marriage was not perfect by any means. Their room was above mine and I remember crying sometimes and wishing if they could not get along better they really needed to divorce.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:15 am

Dan – I can appreciate though your thoughts and insight surrounding your mom and raising you as a single parent

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
10:18 am

@Jake!

I know what u mean.

I have tasted the cherry while the kid was in the vicinity(house) only because mom allowed it,only to come to better sanity again after the sweetness wore off. Lol

A parent should do better.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:19 am

Kimmie I really think this causes more psychological damage long term into adulthood>>>>>>If things are really bad at home, I don’t advocate staying together for the kids.<<<<<<It certainly did for me and NO I am not blaming my parents for my misadventures however I am a huge advocate of psychoanalysis and that bases is childhood oriented. Your childhood is so important and those first 6 years are crucial.

I am selfishly glad I had to parents in my home however I just came to peace with why they stayed and the stuff I we dealt with for them staying……..it is touch and go but they did what they saw fit under all situations and conditions and I will never hold that against them. They did their 25 years and kept it moving separably then after. #life

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:20 am

if you have discernment, insight and oversight and a really really really good, standup, quality mate, maybe. <<<<<Love it C!!!!! and Thank you too sis!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
10:20 am

No problem Celisea…this story has so many angles, I decided to throw in the outsider who is walking into it perspective…Initially, I didn’t really mind coming through on the late night when the baby was sleep, but it became a hassle. I was younger then as well, and not really mature enough to sustain a healthy relationship with a single-mom. Him was very selfish back then…lol

disco

February 16th, 2012
10:22 am

I’m surprised bebe’s kids hasn’t come up. y’all remember that movie/stand up routine?

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:23 am

yep disco classic!

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
10:23 am

@Kimmie?

the tolerance level when u are married but without kids and when u have kids is different.

I have been on both sides and I know this for sure.

What’s a bother when u don’t have kids is trivial or navigaeble when u married with kids.

Bottom line is u are saying ‘what now with them if I’m not here?’

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:24 am

& with that disco I often look @ women with multiple kids that married someone that wasn’t their biological father and wondered how and why she could marry and I couldn’t with one child! so something is there bc there are many with multiple kids married to someone else

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:27 am

I just refuse to fake the funk for 25 plus years being married for the sake of the kids…..naw buddy but childhood flashed and I was out…….now older and more mature I know me more and that makes a difference…..gotta stay true to yourself!

disco

February 16th, 2012
10:29 am

I see it all the time too lady. what gets me though is when chicks with 3,4,5 children snag the men that don’t have kids when the men I usually meet need charter buses for all their kids. don’t know why but I’ve always been a magnet for single parent fathers. if there’s a man within a 100 miles raising kids alone he’ll find me. go figure.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:32 am

wow interesting disco!!!!!! so goes life its funny now!

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:32 am

Lady

Exactly Jake. Youth has a lot to do with it…that’s why I said “in retrospect.” You sight and insight comes full circle as you get older. There are many things do-able but if you don’t have the wisdom and the staywithall for doing when you’re young then no it’s not going to work.

Too bad we ain’t having babies late 30s early 40s….shoot we’d be good then. We got all the answers. But hey it’s life and living and learning. What would we tell our kids if we didn’t do the dumb things we did during our youth? What fun is that? LOL

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:35 am

Alright folks…I’m headed to take a bath. Gotta turn the heat up though in here..it’s chilly. Got errands to run later on.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:36 am

C I enjoy my experiences the good bad and ugly!!!! 26 was a great age for me to have lil lady!!!!! and I absolutely don’t want any more but will make a superb step mom I think!

czBrat

February 16th, 2012
10:36 am

HiYas!

now THIS topic hits close to home. i’ve always felt the kids must come first when young, dependent and easily impressionable. my kids weren’t terribly young when the marriage ended, but they were definitely fragile. i was very careful about coupling after my divorce. and it was my choice to not even consider marriage while they were younger because i never wanted to put ‘us’ through another unhappy ending.

as for the current s/o, dealing with the fact that he has a grade-schooler has probably been the biggest adjustment for me in our relationship. we both have kids that are either already or on-the-way out the house. it does take occasional adjustment in our plans and lifestyle to accomodate the needs of the little one.

i admit the selfish side of me feels i’ve earned the right to do as i please, whenever i please because I don’t have little kiddies to worry about. but we’re a team, and when we work together those occasional adjustments are quite painless.

bottom line is, he would do that and more for me and mine without hesitation.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:36 am

LOL enjoy C!

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:38 am

Lady, I’m there with you. Can’t say it was a cake walk during the time I went through some things but hey I wouldn’t be the woman I am today had I not gone through. I don’t regret nor would I change a thing.

disco

February 16th, 2012
10:39 am

celisea – re having babies 30s and 40. I recently commented to someone that I come from a long line of “teen parents” and that I’m grateful for it. because of that I was fortunate enough to grow up knowing all of my grandparents and great grandparents. even now the elders get a kick out of being able to boast 5 generations at the reunions.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
10:41 am

@EX….you ever smash the chick with kid sleep, leave and think, wait, did I just deliver this sausage….now its 2-3AM and I am still out here in the street and she sleep…these police cars making me nervous…..what the fugg is wrong with me….lol

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:43 am

Jake you’s a fool! that is all!!! I just hollered! I am still out here in the street and she sleep…these police cars making me nervous <<<<<pure comedy! but true!

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:43 am

disco – I didn’t exactly want “teen” time for parenting but I was feel old as Methusalum (sp) when I had my kid at 28…lol If I could have shaved off say maybe 5 years that would have been even better. My mom had me at the “middle age” threshold and all my grands were deceased by the time I got here.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:44 am

feeling

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
10:46 am

Disco-speakin of long line of teen parents-a young lady from my hood posted the following on FB the other day, “the only Valentine gift I received today, finding out that I’m going to be a Grandmother!!!”, this broad is 36….and it had 6 likes!!

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
10:47 am

Exiled – I agree it is a difference to it all – with/without, single/married. Different nuances to it all. There is no one-size-fits-all either approach. People have to do what is best for all involved.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:48 am

wow but not surprised……my ex boo dated a 37 year old grandma that had full custody of her grand child…it blew me then I was like WTH……smh

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:49 am

Good thing we have calendar reminders. I’m working from home and was about to have a Calgon moment but I got a conference call scheduled for 11:00…ooops…I guess not huh (the Calgon moment)?

disco

February 16th, 2012
10:52 am

I was a teen parent so I most definitely am not the one to pass judgment on them. one of my cousins had 4 kids by the time she was early 20s and was killed in a car accident in her mid 20s. if she’d waited those 4 kids may not be here. both of my sets of grandparents were having kids and grandkids at the same time. some of my cousins now are having kids and grandkids at the same time. it is what it is.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
10:53 am

Lady-these are true stories, the fellas know what I’m talkin about….You gotta be at work at 7am, you just leaving some chick house at 3AM, you live 25mins away, and you have been drinking….you got your seatbelt on, a bottle water, doing the speed limit, and saying, Lord, just let me get home. Then you back over there 3nights later, doing it all over….I remain flabergasted by the power of the puddy!!

czBrat

February 16th, 2012
10:55 am

so my son asks me the other day, “why am i attracted to all the wrong girls?” and i ask, “what makes them wrong?” he said they have kids.
then i had to agree … they’re wrong FOR YOU!
and i ain’t ashamed to admit it.

celisea, if it’s not a video conference go ahead and take it in your tub girl!

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:55 am

Jake’s 10:46 is a dang shame. Just not knowing something is wrong with that whole scenario and folks “liking” it is sad. I get there will always be teen pregnancy (I’m assuming…because if not that means she had hers around 16/17), but you can at least be mad or something. I bet there will be the biggest baby shower too.

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
10:55 am

I grew up with a song entitled “Ready Made Family.” It was definitely a song that seemed to be played in the North because NOBODY down here has ever heard of it. I never forgot that song. Here are a few words:

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
You only come late at night, after the kids are asleep
You tell me you need me, but when the sun comes up
and your ready to leave…the kids are awake and they ain’t your cup of tea

You say you don’t want a ready made family….

The man that I married and the father of my kids left us all alone
I need someone to love me and be my very own
If you really love, you got to love what’s a part of me
but all you think about is what your so-called freinds would say
if you married a woman with a ready made family…

You know all you want to do is make love late at night…you know, you know, you know
it just ain’t right…

You better move on cuz I love them, I need them…I need my, I want my ready made afamily….you better move on.
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

disco

February 16th, 2012
10:55 am

jake – true story. one guy in particular had his truck stolen from my house not once but TWICE and he kept coming back.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
10:55 am

Jake I know you ain’t lying that is why I am dying laughing,. it is great to laugh back on some stuff! lol I enjoy your humor!

czBrat

February 16th, 2012
10:56 am

I remain flabergasted by the power of the puddy!!
well maybe steve harvey does know what he’s talking about.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
10:59 am

Hey czBrat, my manager will be on it and taking the roll…lol

Regarding your post about what your son said, my kid was telling me over dinner the other night how one of her BFFs is dating a dude in the 12th grade with a baby and she’s in the 9th??? What??? I asked if her dad knew. She said her mom knows he’s in the 12th but doesn’t know abougt the baby. She was telling me some of the things they talk about. I was telling her it’s her responsibility as a friend to give her food for thought. I gave her a few scenarios to paint….one being to toss it out there to her dad and see how he reacts. But you’re right. Hell I got a kid and I don’t want to be bothered with a dude and a bunch of babies. I’m with you. I’ve put my time in and now I want to relax and enjoy the ride.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
11:01 am

czBrat too funny!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
11:05 am

Disco-baby girl, you must have heat down under, I woulda had to cut you lose after the second time, I gotta ask, did he ever ask you if you set him up? I surely would have thought it….lol.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
11:07 am

I had a very awkward morning but it turned out to work itself out!!!!!! chuckle! I stay cracking myself up! smh lol #random

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
11:09 am

Not my kid tell her dad but my kid to encourage her friend to tell her dad…see how he reacts. My kid was saying, mama he’s out to get one thing from her. She was telling me how he’s ghost except during the school year and when they’re in school. She said he put pressure on here to take things to the next level. So I told her what being a true friend means. Sometimes it means saying something (for the good) that may not be well received.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
11:09 am

Off to subway!!! check yall later! oh today is my friday and out monday!!! I will be relaxing this weekend here!!! catching up on movies!!!

czBrat

February 16th, 2012
11:11 am

lmao @ jake 11:05. hilarious!

disco

February 16th, 2012
11:11 am

jake – once it was stolen by a kid who just took a little joyride in it. the police caught up with the kid the same night. the other time it was stolen – and this was classic girl gangster right here – his other woman (the one he didn’t disclose to me out the gate but that I found out about on the streets and he still denied) had finally found out about me. she came to my house, stole his truck and parked it in long term parking at the airport. his truck was at the airport for like a month before airport security called the police about it being unclaimed. this is one of the two exes that I mention I go way back with and am still cool with. to this day I crack jokes on him about that.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
11:23 am

CzBrat-I’m not sure what Steve Harvey knows, but I know this.

Once a young man gets his first piece of puddy, he will spend the rest of his life positioning himself to make sure that puddy is available to him. You want to see an unhappy man, see one who has gone 30days without, he is a testy, irritable mf.

Disco-In honor of Whitney, hellz to the nall….thats funny, she took his truck to the airport, that is classic

Mike P

February 16th, 2012
11:34 am

Good Morning All,

I think single parents should date other single parents since they can understand each other’s situation better. Single people without kids just don’t see the world as they do.

I personally can not date single mothers anymore, so I’ll stick to dating women without kids; hard lesson learned.

disco

February 16th, 2012
11:54 am

did some bad kids come in and chase everyone away?

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
11:58 am

@disco ~ they’re affectionally known as “Be Be Kids.”

Mike P

February 16th, 2012
12:06 pm

What’s a Be Be kid?

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
12:07 pm

LOL at Mike P asking…you know them when you see them…lol

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
12:10 pm

Sambooka’s kids…Latreantonika, Hiyawathina, Mikonshumi

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
12:11 pm

Really it’s more behavior related

czBrat

February 16th, 2012
12:12 pm

jake, to hear steve tell it, a woman who wields her lotus flower just right can rule the world.

perfect day for my fave low-cal/low-budget lunch: wendy’s chilli & baked potato.

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
12:12 pm

And sometimes you hear them before you see them…

disco

February 16th, 2012
12:16 pm

bebe kids are the reason why Bernie mac proclaimed he’ll hit a kid with a hammer.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
12:17 pm

czBrat-maybe not the world, but something like that!

disco

February 16th, 2012
12:34 pm

something like that? mind elaborating jake?

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
12:39 pm

Or karate chop them in the throat & chest lol

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
12:42 pm

poppin’ back in!

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
12:44 pm

Those type kids need more than “boxing” behind the ears (lol).

disco

February 16th, 2012
12:45 pm

okay back to dating folks with kids. the good, bad and ugly. once a guy I was dating, he and his kids were at my house. we’d cooked out and all that. a friend of mine came by and how come dude’s 8 year old daughter blasted me talking about “my daddy made this, my daddy made that, my daddy fixed this, my daddy fixed that. all miss (disco) did was make a salad”. not my fault her daddy liked to cook.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
12:48 pm

I like the commercial of the guy coming over to take this chick out and her son was left in the living room with the dude until the mom got ready. The dude tried to talk to the little boy and reached for his Doritos. The kid slapped his hand so fast and said, Don’t touch my Doritos and don’t touch my mama

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
12:48 pm

I’ve had to pay taxes for the last 3 years….I GET A REFUND THIS YEAR!!!! Yaaaah

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
12:49 pm

yay C! the IRS still suck though ha!!! LOL smh lol

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
12:49 pm

OMG…the first time someone sent me the link for the Doritos commericial I lost it. It was funny as heck the first time I saw it.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
12:51 pm

Lady – You ain’t never lied. I’m always happy if I can break even. I’ll happily take a refund though

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
12:54 pm

And why don’t I have anything here to eat but pizza rolls, fries and okra???

See what happens when you won’t keep groceries stocked and very little cooking going on? On a day like this is when I rethink going back to “keeping” groceries stocked. If I wanna eat, I have to do a run and righr now I’m not feeling the weather.

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
12:58 pm

Bad part of staying home…you eat more!

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
12:58 pm

Go make yourself a pancake.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
1:02 pm

For whatever reason telling her to go make a pancake has me cracking up. When you’re at home with little to choose from, it’s amazing what you’ll come up with just to save a trip out of the house. You might eat a slice of turkey, scramble some eggs and a hot pocket.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
1:02 pm

I’m making ffries…lol I’ll grab some bbq tonight

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
1:03 pm

Afternoon All –

good Topic that I’ve been on both sides of the fence before. I din’t have anyone around my son when I would keep him. I let them know upfront I get my Son every weekend and sometimes during the week. If that is a problem then its on your end. I also had done the late night kid in the other room visits that quite frankly didn’t sit too well with me. I stopped that quickly and just K.I.M.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
1:04 pm

SlimNu – Yep

Sad things Leggs….is you do eat more but there’s nothing here. Sadly no eggs either. I have flour. I rarely buy eggs because we rarely eat. I’ll have for breakfast in the building because we have a chef but I don’t eat them out either…just don’t. If I buy eggs it takes about 4 months to go through a dozen…unless I’m cooking and need for ingredient.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
1:06 pm

thinggggg not thingssss

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
1:10 pm

It seems the more I look at pictures of Whitney the more I can see resemblence to Dionne Warrick?

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
1:14 pm

so sad!

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
1:17 pm

She has always looked like Dionne to me. She even holds her microphone the same way Dionne does. Have you noticed that?

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
1:17 pm

Celisea – I was looking at a picture of Dionne just a little while ago and she isn’t looking to hot these dayz (not that I ever thought she did look hot but ya know what I mean) I was going to mention it earlier but I figured it wasn’t that nice of a thing to say.

Speaking of Whitney, I was listening to the radio this morning about how Houston’s family is trying to keep Bobby away from Bobbi Christina nor wants him to come to the funeral. Said they believe he’ll try to get close to his daughter in prep to milk her estate. So i’m wondering has he not been really in touch with his daughter these last few years???

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
1:18 pm

@Celisea ~ are those fries from a bag or are you peeling potatoes. (peeling potatotes, peeling potatoes…)

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
1:20 pm

It was reported on the news this morning that Bobby is invited to the funeral simply because he is her father. I also heard that Whitney never changed Bobby from being beneficiary. I find that very hard to believe.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
1:22 pm

Slim inquiring minds would love to know……every family has drama when someone pass and to play in the media is beyond messy!

Sassy Me...Looootus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
1:22 pm

Are you childless and dating someone with kids? What was the good, bad, and ugly? How do you make it work?

I’ve dated two men with children and never got the good…all I got was the bad and the ugly. The first guy wanted me to replace his son’s mom and I wouldn’t do it cause it wasn’t my place. It wasn’t like she had gone to the upper room or was incarcerated..she was in one state and he in another. Plus the boy couldn’t stand me and his dad NEVER corrected his behavior so I bounced. The last time I dated a man with children was my last ex with two demon seeds and a baby mama with the IQ of a cold rock…needless to say, I ended that,too. I tried but it just didn’t work and I’m glad I’m out of that situation.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
1:22 pm

Leggs – I hadn’t noticed but you can really see the resemblence.

Slim – I saw a glimsp of her and thought the same thing. Not in a snarky way but her head was down and all I could see was a side shot. Not sure if that was gray hair or dye or both but I wondered if she just looked “distressed.” It was a shot of her heading to or from the hotel so I know she was probably under stress.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
1:24 pm

Bag/frozen fries. If I gotta peel potatoes, I’m heading up to Zaxbys…lol

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
1:30 pm

Random: My mind is telling me that this is a good time to be done for this workday. However, in reality I have 3.5 hrs to go and the dreary weather is not going to make the time fly by any faster.

Lady~Sunshine!

February 16th, 2012
1:34 pm

I also heard that Whitney never changed Bobby from being beneficiary. I find that very hard to believe.<<<<<<<My mama did too leggs but I hear Ms Cissy is furious about that jack! 0_o

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
1:34 pm

I’d planned to step out afternoon but our meeting was changed to 2:00…at the last minute. My manager said “thanks for everyone’s flexibility.” So I’m here at least until 3:30.

I wanted to pick something up for my cousin’s funeral Friday. I contemplated on a suit but I don’t really do suits at funerals unless it’s immediate family. I do black or some black but not suit decked. It still may work out though. My kid’s hair appointment is at 4:00 since the stylist that does her hair will be singing Saturday. I have to fight traffic and get my hair done tomorrow after work. I like Saturday mornings, take my time, grab coffee appointments.

Sassy Me...Looootus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
1:35 pm

However, in reality I have 3.5 hrs to go and the dreary weather is not going to make the time fly by any faster.

Me, too. I think around 4 I might get sick….cough..cough. Then I’ll pull a Houdini and be out of this joint ’til Tuesday.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
1:36 pm

I have a couple of black suits but all I need is a reason

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
1:39 pm

Funeral Saturday not Friday….okay now I’m just rambling

Sassy Me..Looootus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
1:40 pm

I also heard that Whitney never changed Bobby from being beneficiary.

They gon make Ms. Cissy go old school like Toni Braxton’s mama did when she threatened to slap the taste from Tamar’s mouth that time she got outta pocket. I hope that’s not true though….maybe Whit did leave Bobby a lil something but to be the benificiary….I’on know..

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
1:42 pm

Sassy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol somthing like that! ha!

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
1:42 pm

Another side note: Anyone seen the video about the Chinese toddler running in the SNOW in ONLY shoes and underwear? His dad said he’s trying to make him tough…bullisht! And where is the mother?

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
1:49 pm

This funeral is turning into a bootleg Reality TV episode.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
1:52 pm

yep WD and it is hurtful to the fans I mean really and the pundits @ night need to sat down somewhere monday morning quaterbacking on WH and going IN on BB!!!!!!! its a mess.com More hyped than Michael Jackson I think

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
1:53 pm

the family members trying to block Bobby are doing it for their own adult selfish ends..not for that girl.

It’s her daddy!

They probably want to milk her (Bobbi) of the money themselves not Bobby!

Who starts talking of estate money at the funeral really except the greedy ones?

And that Deone Warwick needs to sit her ugly forehead and butt down!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
1:55 pm

i screamed EX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMBAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I concur the pie is at stake here! poor Bobbi K!

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
1:55 pm

Leggs – thanks for the email, beautiful.

I agree 100% about not having a revolving door & bringing just anybody around their child. That is horrible to put a child thru that, especially if you’re running with “questionables”. I would be just like one of my best friends. She had been seeing this man for over a year and thought he was upstanding. He had a day off and was going to hang out at the house for a few hours with her 9yr old son until she got home. Her son called her and told her dude had slapped him! Mind you, this kid was no Be be, calm, well-behaved child. She told him to just go in his room, be quiet and she was on her way home. She walked in pointing the gun! Dude didn’t know what she might do, but that was the end of that. He left the house apologizing, crying and shaking!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
1:59 pm

@Disco….I do mind, so I’ll plead the 5th…lol

But remember what you learned from Pooh, if the honey is sweet, he will climb a tree to get it, and he could give a shat about the bee stings.

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:00 pm

I expect all the sensationalism from TMZ, but CNN has gotten extremely tabloidish too. They were horrible covering MJ’s death and they are at it again with Whitney. I refuse to watch that mess. We all know she had issues with substance abuse, just like MJ and countless others, living and dead. I just want to remember her musical contributions and call it a day.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:01 pm

O/T lil kim or nikki M?!? what is with these girls walking around with long weaves and big tie bows in their damn heads?!? and colorful weave @ that! I can’t with with Nikki M chic she gets on my damn nerves being unnecessary extra! #teamlilkim lol

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:02 pm

I just want to remember her musical contributions and call it a day. <<<<That is all that matters to me too! good post!

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:02 pm

I just remember Dionne looking a mess at Lena Horne’s funeral. I hope she pulls it together for Whitney.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:03 pm

Nancy Gracy wants to prosecute Bobby Brown! #dead 0_o silly heffa!

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:03 pm

Exiled I agree. I don’t care for Bobby Brown either and really think that was the beginning of her downward spiral. IMO, I believe when all say no to him being a good spouse/mate for her she was determined to prove otherwise and really you can’t change folks.

I agree though it’s her father and Whitney’s ex and should at least attend the funeral.

I personally don’t think he should get squat but if she willed anything to him it was her choice.

If he wasn’t there…and I don’t believe he was, him like all deadbeat dads will live (I believe) to regret it somewhere in their lives.

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:04 pm

Lady – Nikki needs to get her own identity. One minute she’s copying Lady Gaga, Madonna, Lil Kim – find out who you are and do you already!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:05 pm

the Queen of Soul is on program! I will be watching it via online! I am glad they gave the fans that option!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:06 pm

Kimmie she irks my nerves like no other! her mouth is whew lawd! lol

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:07 pm

I wonder if anyone saw the segment this morning on GMA where Robin mentioned to Nancy how infuriated the public was with her comments saying something to the effect of she just wondering who pushed Whitney. She NEVER apologized that, you know what I misspoke. Never would take it back or apologize.

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
2:08 pm

I was on team Lil Kim BEFORE the plastic surgery…now she looks umm well y’all know..

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:08 pm

C I don’t know WH personally but I am certainly offended by NG as a WH fan that bish can kick rocks left on fire she makes me sick.com

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
2:09 pm

O/T, as for Whitney…yes the death is being sensationalized; but I think the bigger good that comes from this is the light that is being shined on prescription drug abuse…I work in an environment in which I see lots of addicts….actually had a guy say to me that he was not addicted to a medication, and that he had been on this this one medication for 26years….the U.S. is ran by drug companies, which is the real reason that the healthcare bill had so much opposition, it would change the environment and profit margins for said drug companies because a government backed system would control pricing to make healthcare affordable…but thats a different discussion.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:09 pm

Sassy I am always team lil kim in the 90s! that is all LOL

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
2:10 pm

If he wasn’t there…and I don’t believe he was, him like all deadbeat dads will live (I believe) to regret it somewhere in their lives

Yes he surely will…Unjust doesn’t prosper..

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:11 pm

you see Millie jackson is behind the scene touring and lil kim needs to find her place she don’t need to compete with at heffa nikki m LOLOL

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
2:11 pm

Cel!

Whitney was a fab singer But she was no Angel.

Problem is folks look at her and Bobby abd anything bad had to be because of Bobby and good is because of Whitney.

Whitney was an adult grown woman. She chose Him,bad boy and All.

And even if we were to say Bobby introduced drugs to her,which apparently tho,is not true,it would still be up to her to say yes or no. She’s an adult!

Folks project on Whitney what they dream of not the reality.

She made her bed(bad as it may be) she’s gonna have to lie on it.

We All do,celebrity or no celebrity.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:13 pm

For sure Sassy…for sure

Lady – Nancy Grace makes me itch

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
2:13 pm

I hear ya Lady. I mean she has a potty mouth (which I like but sometimes it’s too much) but I think she needs to get serious and try to make a come back..

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:14 pm

yep!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:14 pm

C!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she so simple!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
2:15 pm

Whitney was cokehead before Bobby showed up…Jennifer Holiday was on Piers Morgan the other night and spoke candidly about WH’s usage prior to meeting Bobby….Now the world knows that PimpC (world class cokestar himself) was telling the truth…”I got Bobby by the Pound, Whitney by the Key, DJ Screw by the Gallon, B!#@H the game belong to me”

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
2:15 pm

Nancy Grace makes me itch

like a bad rash..in July She can be a bit over the top when she wants to..which is often..

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:15 pm

JAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! too damn funny smdh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:16 pm

Lady – I can see being dominating and selling your point and making your case but Robin outright addressed her crass comments and the dude that’s usually on (sorry don’t know his name) to counter Nancy both wanted her to see the impact of just letting stuff jump out of your mouth and more so being professional, big and woman enough to say you make a mistake.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:18 pm

better Robin than me C!!!! she gets no respect from me she is so irrelevant!

disco

February 16th, 2012
2:18 pm

jake – dag. I was sho’nuff hoping to get my hands on that insider scoop. I was going to make something happen with that.

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
2:18 pm

Jake – 2:15 pretty much sums it up.

I can’t imagine coming home to Nancy Grace everyday. Then again I’m hoping that TV persona is just that, a persona.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:18 pm

Jake – I’ve always heard that. Even so, Bobby sure didn’t add anything good.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:19 pm

WD I think that is her all day long a personality disorder!

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
2:20 pm

Whitney was cokehead before Bobby showed up…

I’ve thought that myself. Folks/tabloids said R & B’s “good girl” got with R & B’s “bad boy” and it was downhill for ever since but I disagree. I think she got with a kindred spirit who was into what she was into and the synergistic effect of them BOTH being addicts hastened their decline.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:20 pm

there is no cure for those! ha!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:21 pm

sassy they wanted whitney to be something she wasn’t hell even Natalie Cole had it bad but it seems she wasn’t held to the same standards as whitney and she is just as valuable

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:22 pm

Sassy – Your 2:20 is right. I’ve always heard she had a problem before Bobby. He just always seemed like a leech and latched on to her fame and money…that’s just me though and what it appeared to be. But yeah the bad to the bone usually comes from within out

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:24 pm

Can you see Herman Cain doing the quick-step? The pasodoble?

According to the former GOP hopeful, you won’t. Herman Cain confirms that he has turned down an offer to join the next cast of “Dancing With the Stars.”

Cain’s executive assistant, Lisa Reichert, tells the Atlanta Journal-Constitution Cain was approached by “Dancing With the Stars” producers, but squashed the idea of participating. “He can’t dance in an eight-count. He can only dance in a nine-count,” Reichert said, referring to Cain’s famous 9-9-9 plan.

Cain is just the latest celebrity to turn down “Dancing With the Stars” for its 14th season. As TheWrap reported last week, the Denver Broncos said Tim Tebow has no plans to be on the show, and Dolly Parton last month told TheBoot.com that she continues to turn down offers.

The new season of “Dancing With the Stars” premieres on March 19 and the new cast will be announced on Feb. 28 during “Good Morning America.”

LAWD WHO LEFT THE GATE OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
2:25 pm

looks like the only hood drug those two got was WH’s birf control pill

coz in some interviews they admitted they f.-cked All day,smoked and did it again and again and ……..

Just one baby

Amazing!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:25 pm

Houston’s publicist, Kristen Foster, announced Wednesday that The Associated Press will be allowed a camera at Saturday’s funeral in Newark. The AP will stream the service on http://livestream.com/aplive. The event also will be available to broadcasters via satellite.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:26 pm

smh @ Ex!!!!! too funny!

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
2:29 pm

Good drug not hood

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:29 pm

I agree with you all about Whitney before BB came along. She was already ghetto. Clive Davis molded this public image of her, a princess, but that’s not who she really was. I remember seeing interviews with her right before she married him and she was ghetto. I loved her, but she was who she was. No BB didn’t help, a kindred spirit right along with her, but he’s not all bad himself. People I know that have come in contact with BB said he was a nice guy. My dad treated him once and he said he was very respectful. He’s a wild child, just like Whitney was. She was talented and so is BB.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:31 pm

Kimmie I remember the gay rumors in the 80s and now Ms Cissy is mad with Boddy for doing the tell all book saying she got married to clean up her imagine but I took whitney for who she is point blank it didn’t matter i just wished she wouldn’t had married anyone if that makes sense shrugs! lol

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:31 pm

meant Bobby!

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:32 pm

Exiled – I remember she did have a miscarraige after Bobby Kristina.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:33 pm

Off topic:

Why oh why was Excedrin Migraine recalled???

disco

February 16th, 2012
2:33 pm

to me ghetto and being ghetto is all good. what I can’t stand is the folks who embrace that whole “ghetto fabulous” mentality.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:34 pm

i am with you disco

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:35 pm

I remember when Eddie Murphy was in love with Whitney. That’s who she should have married if she had to marry someone in show business.

cba

February 16th, 2012
2:35 pm

Early on it was reported that Whitney’s mother and Dionne wanted to have the service in ATL . If that was true, I wonder who else is making the decisions ?

I wasn’t to keen on Pier Morgan and now I really don’t care much for the guy. He’ll be milking this story for the next three months or more.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
2:35 pm

“Bobby. He just always seemed like a leech and latched on to her fame and money…”

Celisea, gotta call a flag on that play….people forget how big of a star Bobby was before he got with Whitney, if anything…she derailed his career!!! Which takes us back to an earlier point, puddy will make a man do some strange things!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:36 pm

that would have been cute but hmmmmm he is known to be suspect to but I love me some Eddie and his ex wife got paid.com

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:36 pm

yep cba!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:38 pm

but Jake it took NE time to heal from Bobby and his antics so it has validity that he is a stressor its just not all his fault.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 16th, 2012
2:39 pm

If they play – or you get to see – the VH-1 behind the music with New Edition, all them boys were like “it wasn’t a surprise to nobody that Whitney married Bobby, they both hood, and both were on the same isht.”

While I wouldn’t call her a coke “head” (i.e. did a gang of it before BB), she dabbled *hard*, and so did he. pause.

That’s why folks that be on that blame Bobby, really need to see that WH wasn’t all that innocent – a fact well known in the industry.

disco

February 16th, 2012
2:39 pm

hmm. eddie Murphy or bobby brown. who would I pick? I’m almost embarrassed to admit I’m leaning toward bobby brown. i’ve never cared much for eddie Murphy. at least I like bobby brown some. tenderoni is still the lick.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
2:39 pm

Blog monster ate my damn post….but in a nutshell, Bobby should be able to attend the funeral and see his daughter. The family needs to set the anger/opposition aside until it’s over. It’s not like Bobby is going to try to steal Whitney’s jewelry off at the funeral to take it to a We Buy Gold shop

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:40 pm

Jake – We’ll have to agree to disagree. I was here when New Edition got off the ground. Matter of fact they did a show at my high school and maybe I’m not good at tracking numbers and sales but I don’t ever remember NE being on the scale as Whitney. Remember Whitney’s cross over into pop is what propelled her. Big in the R&B world is not the same as crossing over into pop….that’s just me. They were just saying yesterday at one time she was one of the richest people in the world. I don’t think NE ever reached that point.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:40 pm

i hope bobby continues the tour I selfishly want to see him perform in May here and plus he has a new 8 month old baby so he still has to work buddy!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:40 pm

C we on the same page honey! LOL

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:43 pm

Jake – I didn’t forget BB’s career! I tell people all the time if Bobby had just concentrated on his career and Whitney on hers, that might would have cut back on time for all the wildness with the two. That greatest hits cd of his I still wear out from time to time!

Lady – I know bout the Eddie suspectness, but I still think they would have been better together. He is just classier and lower key, seems to almost fly under the radar. They both were freaky, but he might would have tamed her a little but let her shine.

I know I’m crazy guys!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:44 pm

kobe and vanessa back kissing y’all smh! i love kobe but he is getting on my nerves with his personal life i will remain objective though and keep it on the court! smh lol

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:44 pm

And selling out Phillips versus the Fox is a telltale sign of fanbase and followers

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
2:44 pm

And the way Bobby’s mouth turns when he talks looks like Wack Crack to me.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:44 pm

kimmie I am with you on Eddie honey! he is a winner!

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:46 pm

LOL…me too Slim…

Eddie seems gay. All I can remember is getting caught with the tranny

disco

February 16th, 2012
2:46 pm

eddie Murphy seems soft. not even soft as in his “suspectedness” – just soft in general. like he’s an old buster type punk. hardcore chicks will eat up and spit up old punk A busters like that. whitney might’ve hung eddie out to dry.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:46 pm

c stop! lol

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
2:47 pm

Lady…as for NE, Johnny Gill was a nice 6th man, but we all know that NE with BBrown is the real New Edition. His personality was just to big for the group…think Cube, NWA…R.Kelly, P.Announcement, Justin Timberlake, NSync, Eddie Kang, 5 Heartbeats…even though NE kept going, they always needed Bobby.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:47 pm

did y’all watch freddie jackson unsung?!? my fb friends went in so hard on him and his sexual orientation I love freddie unconditionally lol

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
2:48 pm

Eddie Kang- nice…..

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:48 pm

Celisea – I agree, NE/Bobby B is nowhere near what Whitney’s reach was. It was/is respectable though. He should have concentrated on that and maybe it would have kept him out of a little of the trouble.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:48 pm

Jake I agree its a Eddie Cane (kane) in every group!

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:48 pm

WD you beat me to it!

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:50 pm

disco – you right, she probably would have run over him. But BB has always been unattractive to me, just saying.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:51 pm

Kimmie – I agree. I think he had the potential to be much bigger. I think he was young and preoccupied with all the trappings that comes with that lifestyle and youth.

I think though he had the potential to be much bigger.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:51 pm

I like BB boston swag yep I do dealing with him you know what you getting a bad boi! lol

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:52 pm

jake I agree they do need bobby!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I love Johnny too! I am so bias! LOL

disco

February 16th, 2012
2:52 pm

jake – eddie kang? that’s what’s up.

OR bobby could have stayed with the group and brought all those brothers down. I loves me some new edition – all the way back to when they were wearing shags. they might not have maintained the staying power with bobby.

okay blog ladies. who was your favorite new edition member back in the day? I remember most of my peeps like Ronnie and Ralph but I always liked ricky for some reason in the beginning. after they grew up some I thought mike was the sexiest.

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:52 pm

BOBBY! I like solo Bobby too! BOBBY! smh lol

Lady~

February 16th, 2012
2:53 pm

OK good people! have a fantastic weekend! its been a great blog week! I am out! ~peace~

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:54 pm

EVERYTIME I see Bobby Brown, I think about the 227 episode where Brenda was dancing to “every lil’ step I take, you will be there, every lil’ step I take, we’ll be together.” I think he was on that episode. EVERYTIME I see him that pops in my head.

NE could dance though. I’ll give them that.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:55 pm

‘Cuse me if I typed the words incorrectly.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:56 pm

disco – All of BBD

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:56 pm

Bell, Biv, Devoe
Now ya know!!

Disco – I didn’t think any of New Edition was fine or anything, but I liked Ralph I guess. I love Johnny Gill’s singing, I just love New Edition, THE GROUP! I have always loved them more than Boys To Men – BTM’s songs are depressing to me, except Motown Philly!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
2:57 pm

I hate to be Team Bobby Brown, but folks….think back to Bobby when he went solo, he was R.Kelly b4 R.Kelly…..Don’t Be Cruel is one of the best R&B/Pop albums of all time (Kanye voice). I cannot believe the way ya’ll dissing the King of R&B, aint that what Whitney used to call him….lol

cba

February 16th, 2012
2:57 pm

Lady~2:44 I saw a rear pic of Vannesa waiting on Kobe in the Lakers’ locker room. All I could see were hair and her “8″ heels. Maybe they are negoiating on her giving one of the mansions back.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
2:58 pm

Mr. Telephone Man, there’s something wrong with my line….

Honestly when they first came out I thought Ralph was the cutest. But when I started to understand “sexy” and all that kind of stuff, I thought BBD

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
2:58 pm

Cba?

funny,I’m the opposite.

I was a Larry King fan and didn’t take to Piers that quickly but he’s growing on me.

You hate him for bringing out the truth?

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
2:59 pm

Celisea – When I see Bobby I think of him in Two Can Play That Game, where he started out as an auto mechanic with jacked up teeth and a jeri curl. He looked at Shante’s friend and said “You make a brotha wanna SANG to you!” LOL!!

disco

February 16th, 2012
3:00 pm

celisea – I never liked Ronnie. he was the pretty boy and I wasn’t feeling him. I also think he might have had light eyes. I think the rapper d-nice was the only one I liked who had funny colored eyes.

jake – i dig bobby brown to. i’m just not going to overly hype him up. i mean he had folks that were nearly illiterate talking about “prerogative” like the really knew what it meant.

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
3:01 pm

Slim.

the way Bobby’s mouth turns twists the lips= liqor addict

the way WH wouldn’t be still,and talking in stutter fashion and restlessness(see Diane Sawyer interview) = crackhead

Lol

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
3:03 pm

@Ex…same here, didnt really like Piers in the beginning, but his interview style has grown on me. He actually does an excellent job of probing for real answers, doesn’t overtalk the guest like Larry.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
3:05 pm

Kimmie – OMG, I forgot about Two Can Play That Game…lol Man did I play that movie over and over when it first came out. He cleaned up pretty well in that move. Yeah after she got his teeth fixed he was good to go

Bobby got cig/wee/crack soup coolers

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
3:06 pm

Ex – I’m more of a Piers fan now as i see his style on a nightly basis. i was never a LK fan as I always thought he interjected himself into the interview.

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
3:07 pm

Cause if it isn’t love
Why do I feel this way?
Why does he stay on
My mind?

Cause if it isn’t love
Why does it hurt so bad
Make me feel so sad
Inside?

If it isn’t looovvve!

Lori

February 16th, 2012
3:08 pm

Just be careful out there, ladies. Ever watch the news….if kids are hurt…seems like it’s always the boyfriend who did it. I’m not sure I’d trust another man with my kids!

cba

February 16th, 2012
3:08 pm

Ex, I had gotten tired of Larry old azz especially when his son’s baseball coach was “doing” his wife in Larry own bed and he just swept that under the rug. Any other celeb, we would have talked about it for 3 months.

To be honest, I don’t know if it’s Pier’s accent or he just doesn’t seem comfortable with some of his guests.
I did like his interview with Chacha Khan or I just like Chacha. Man, that was a fine, fine, fine woman when she was with Rufus.

disco

February 16th, 2012
3:09 pm

celisea – how can you forget about two can play that game? you know morris chestnut was at the top of everybody’s “he’s so fine” list for a minute.

stop kimmie – you’ll make me get up and do that little dance step. I know I’m not the only one who memorized those steps.

lori – boyfriends do it a lot but close friends and family members probably do it even more. just watch your kids and try to make sure your kids aren’t scared to run it back.

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
3:10 pm

Jake, I wanted to be a journalist growing up

And I see flaws with talk show folks(political) most of the time

No follow ups on the questions no pressing

It irks me sometimes
That’s why I like Oreilly sometimes altho he beats his own chest to much,deceiving his repub base

George stephanopulous is my worst

Can’t interview too soft

Rachel Maddow is smart and good but like most lesbo and gays..confrontational. That defected neuron rears it’s head

Like Rosie! Lol

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
3:10 pm

Well stated WIllie, guest we posted the tomato/tomata today.

disco

February 16th, 2012
3:11 pm

kimmie – “I really love her – you love her? what?” – love those boyz.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
3:15 pm

@Ex….I 100% agree with that stereotype you just slung out there….they are confrontational in their interviewing.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
3:18 pm

Kimmie – You’re going to make me move the sofa back in the living room..lol

disco – I don’t know…what WAS I thinking. Mmm mmm mmm, he was do dang fine in that movie…whew. Might have to blow the dust off and pop it in tonight.

It’s so funny…before Vivica’s defacing, my brother use to call me (insert the first two letter of my first name here)vica because he said my personality reminds me of her…I’d say 5 or 6 years ago. But it’s funny because when I’d be talking with my dramatics and he’d call me that, I’d fall straight into her role from that movie and start quoting the lines. All he could do was laugh

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
3:19 pm

Exiled – I lost all respect for George Step a long time ago, but one was the last straw. He was interviewing the Prez, who had just made some decisions concerning Alghanistan & Iraq. He asked the President what he felt about what Palin had to say on the decisions! Prez said he didn’t think anything about what Palin said, he has military and other advisors if he needs input on such decisions.

George felt like a fool and tried to defend it, saying she was a “potential” presidential rival so it was a legit question! Not even McCain, he asked about Palin!

The World of Sex, Thursday, January 16, 2012 | The Blog of MalibuErotica.com

February 16th, 2012
3:20 pm

[...] Good, bad and ugly of the dating of single parents. [...]

disco

February 16th, 2012
3:22 pm

don’t know why celisea but your post about vivica reminded me of a comedian cracking jokes on regina king. he said Hollywood gives her no props and then went on to say they wouldn’t let regina king play regina king in the regina king movie. I’ve always liked regina king but he’s right. she doesn’t get a lot of hype.

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
3:24 pm

Lol my bad Jake

that’s why I like Larry he could bring the facts out softly no confrontation

My ole time Larry best with Halle Berry

Larry: so how was the movie tell me bout it

Halle: yada yada ..

Larry: the love scene..(sheepish smile and looking her str8 in the eyes)
…..Halle!, was that acting?

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
3:24 pm

Ummm, why did my manager dial in from the Carribean???? She’s on vacay attendng a wedding.

This year I’m thinking about going to the islands the same week my kid/sister/mom all go to Disney World with the church. I ain’t telling her though

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
3:25 pm

Glad that 1.5 hr. mtg. is over. If you guys are still on Bobby and for those who blame Bobby for Whitney’s downward spiral, this is my take:

Whitney was hood way before Bobby came along. Cissy cleaned up her little girl and presented us a classy, poised young lady, but the hood was still there. She was attracted to Bobby because he allowed her to be “real.” That probably fascinated her because she wasn’t able to be herself. The rebel in her found the obvious rebel in him and the magnetism started. Bobby did help in her downward spiral, but he definitely wasn’t the cause. That’s my take.

As far as him still being the beneficiary (if that’s true), then she’s the dumb and slow one (sorry for calling you out Ms. Houston). One thing I know to do is protect my money, especially if I have as much as she had. Hell, I certainly protected my 401(k) from my ex. Why she didn’t change her Will to remove his status was solely on her, again if it’s true. I still find that hard to believe.

And, despite the dysfunction that is know as The Brown Family, he’s her father and he has every right to be at that funeral sitting beside his daugther. Whatever is motives are after the funeral will come to play, but he should have the right to be besides his daughter (if she wants him there).

disco

February 16th, 2012
3:28 pm

I don’t know if any of you have seen the sponge bob episode (yeah sponge bob). anyway squidward was mad at sponge bob and he told him “when I die you BETTER NOT come to my funeral”. I, personally, thought that was hilarious. sorry. it’s late in the day. by now y’all ought to know I’m a tad bit off.

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
3:29 pm

Kimmie.. He has no substance.. I think what makes him weak is,while he is sympathetic to liberal causes he tries to position himself as a serious journalist but bellyaches to right wing attacks on his supposedly liberal ties.. Over corrects.

That’s why he goes on to be as stupid as putting Palin on that pedestal

He is like Mitt Romney who wants to act regular but doesn’t know the price of a loaf of bread

Phony!

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
3:34 pm

the way Bobby’s mouth turns twists the lips= liqor addict

Ex – No offense but i’ve been around many a alcoholic and I’ve never met one who’s mouth turned sideways due to drinking…but if they had a side car of CRACK or Meth then it would.

As far as Bobby bringing WH down, I heard an interview of her talking about Bobby (believe it was Oprah) where she said she was able to be Her around him. So if anything, he only got her to be more comfy being the true behind closed doors WH, and not the superstar princess generated persona.

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
3:37 pm

tad bit, hahaha

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
3:38 pm

If Whitney had just clung to her church roots! I was on the way to church myself one morning and they played one of my favorites, I Love the Lord, on the radio and Whitney was singing it! It sent chills thru me! Her voice was truly God-given!

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
3:40 pm

Slim?

liqor and grass

I have an uncle whose mannerisms are just like Bobby

and he knows the bottle and weed omg!

disco

February 16th, 2012
3:41 pm

touché WD, touché. my mother called me crazy at lunch today and I kindly reminded her that kids don’t take after strangers.

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
3:46 pm

i’ve been around many a alcoholic and I’ve never met one who’s mouth turned sideways due to drinking…

Me,too and I’ve yet to see that…

…but if they had a side car of CRACK or Meth then it would.

Now that I have seen..I wonder what the physiology is behind that..

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
3:46 pm

random – cloudy, rainy day. Good day to get out and about for somebodies Happy hour.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 16th, 2012
3:49 pm

the lip twisting is a sign of a slight stroke…likely drug induced…

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
3:49 pm

If Whitney had just clung to her church roots!

Church folk got demons,too…

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
3:50 pm

Sass – You right about that!

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
3:51 pm

Not always Dan..lip twisting can result from crack…well that’s what I’ve surmised from the ones I’ve seen…they all have that in common.

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
3:52 pm

Exactly my point, SlimNu.

We all know you have to watch out for some of them church folk….they’re some of the biggest wolves!

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
3:55 pm

Leggs – That’s why I say you have to have a PERSONAL relationship with GOD – not the pastor or the church folk, but GOD!

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
3:56 pm

lip twisting may be a form of a slight stroke, but more often it’s the sign of too many coke freezes!

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
3:57 pm

Yep, kimmie! Pastor and church folk are only human therefore they can err…

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:08 pm

disco – Just saw your 3:22 on Regina King. I agree. I like her. She’s a classy chic. She can go ghetto or she can play upstanding. Just don’t the the recognition she deserves.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:09 pm

Church folk got demons,too

kimmie – Your post reminds me of The Color Purple where Shug Avery starts singing the church song from the juke joint to the church. She hugs her daddy and says, “See daddy…sinners have souls too”

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
4:10 pm

Regina King?

she ain’t crossed over……yet,

maybe she needs a new agent

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
4:11 pm

Slim – Maybe God Is Trying to Tell You Something! – That’s my favorite part of that movie!!!

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:12 pm

celisea – and that’s just what the comic was saying.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:18 pm

Regina King will always be Brenda from 227 with the eye rolling attitude, mushroom haircut following behind Calvin lol

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:19 pm

Well this is how I see it…God made Adam and Eve, both fell as a result of sin/disobedience. We are all God’s children, all their offsprings all subject to sin, all born in sin.

The good book says there are two spirits that war within…so we’ve got the devil always pulling at the carnal in us and we have God always pulling and that voice you hear, all becaus we’re in his likenss and image. That’s two fold. That’s spiritual and that’s literal. So if I see you, I see me and vice versa.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:20 pm

Man-o-man I use to envy Brenda’s 227 hairstyles…of course back then…lol

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:23 pm

C – The first official haircut I got was that Brenda cut, short in the front and long in the back. Now that I think of it, that was the Black Woman’s version of a mullet

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:28 pm

slim – and if you were a fly girl you put some crimps in it.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:30 pm

Slim – LOL…that’s funny. I can’t believe I thought she was soooo fly…lol

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:31 pm

Or if you owned the iron where you could change the plates to crimp. My mama wouldn’t let me use or own one of those..

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:32 pm

disco – How about crimps in the back but the front had the FANGA WAVES!! I swear I think I took a school picture with that hairstyle, a printed Izod polo type shirt and a nice herring bone to suit.

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:33 pm

so celisea – you had to flip your regular curling iron back and forth over and over to get it?

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:37 pm

disco – ut uh, no crimps if my beautician didn’t put them in…and if it was “extra” my mama said NO!

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:40 pm

I think crimps were extra lol…After a few days, part of the hair would be straight and some of it would still be crimped from laying on it. You had to go hard on the spritz to get it to last longer. The days of the HARD HAIR ewwwww

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:41 pm

Now when I started going to Sammy he cut alllll my hair off and started over. Once it grew and grew and grew (nowhere near the length it was), he would do finger waves in the top and have the rest curly. He would lift the finger waves once it dried. I bought the clips he used and clipped them back down at night and lifted in the morning

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:44 pm

They were. I was going to Ms. MaryAnn and she would ask my mama how she wanted it down. Like I said anything outside of her $25 fee was a no go. When I started working I started going to Sammy..danggit I paid for my own “extras.” Really, I didn’t a lot of anything that would cause stress….gel, spritz…none of that. Sammy didn’t gel my fingerwaves. Just formed while wet, clipped them down so they would stay in place to dry and lift once dried…very pretty…for back then.

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
4:45 pm

he would do finger waves in the top and have the rest curly

Mayne if I EVER see another finger wave it’ll be too soon..errbody n they mama used to rock those. Ohh the memories..

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:46 pm

y’all must have been “rich” growing up with y’all regular hair appointments and all. for the most part it was kitchen beauticians all the way. if you were lucky you had a homegirl or cousin or something that could do hair. my momma wasn’t (and still to this day isn’t) the salon type.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:47 pm

Now I would pull my hair up and wear in a curly ball. My bothers called me Pebbles. I would spray that joker up…lol I’d wear about a week and Sammy would wash the spray out.

What the heck was I thinking???

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:47 pm

sassy – what about the pineapple waves? we called them pineapple and something else i can’t remember. when you tie the net over your hair and then use a rat tail comb to pick the hair out.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:48 pm

My mom would do Pineapple waves on my hair whenever it was an off-week for going to the salon. You know you put that net over your wet hair with some setting lotion, then take the tail end of a rat tail comb and lift the hair through each square in the net, sit under the dryer and take the net off once it dried. BAM! Pineapple waves lol

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:50 pm

slim – jinx.

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
4:51 pm

Slim?

soooo,u looking frward to tonite’s chilly rainy weather in the covers?

Officer home?

how bout u single patent females..Disco?

uglies tonite…? Yummy weather!

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
4:51 pm

No dude betnot post nothing bout having fangawaves

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:52 pm

Yep Sassy…that was it back in the day.

disco – Naw, my mama had folks that grew up and moved out. Meaning a little extra money was “freed up”…lolLike I said $25 every two weeks and nothing over…lol

I ain’t gon lie…if I wash my hair at home it because it’s opposite my salon week and I have somewhere to go…like that day. I did my kid’s hair until she was about 12 only because she had so much of it and it would spiral up as soon as water hit it. It was sooo soft and would break easily so I would press it. It’s not long now (not like it was) but her hair was a good almost to her waist and healthy and really, I was silly enough to think no one could do it or I should say would take the pain I took to keep it healthy. I never blow dried. I would plait while wet and press after it dried. It would take 3 – 4 hours sometimes. If I half did it, 2 hours.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:54 pm

No fanga waves WillieD??

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:55 pm

ex – you meant single parent right? well, I’ve been emancipated!!! by the way, my offspring picked up his criminal justice degree yesterday. he took a pic of it and emailed it to me.

willie d – whether they say it or not, I’m sure there’s some brothers here that are guilty.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:56 pm

What about Jheri Curls? I never sported those but Yvette and her husband use to get theirs set every two weeks together and sit opposite each under under the dryer…lol How come (yes how come), folks sat under the dryer with Jheri Curls but they never dried?

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
4:58 pm

Congrats Disco!

good job really!

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:59 pm

disco – Naw we weren’t rich by any means. That’s why I threw in the homemade Pineapple waves do for the ‘off-weeks’ which could’ve been anywhere from 2 weeks to the next 3 or 4 months lol For the most part, my mom did mine and my sisters hair. It wasn’t until I got it cut that I went a little more often. That was eerie bringing them up at the same time. I wonder if i came to work with them now, if anyone would try to joke on me hehehe

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
5:01 pm

No finger waves and no curl for me. I went from fade to box then bald.

disco

February 16th, 2012
5:02 pm

thanks ex. I’m quite proud of him (even though I’ve been talking trash about his graduations cramping my travel plans). the first one is cool but the second one falls on the weekend of the capital jazz fest in dc and I usually try to make it up there every year. it is what it is though.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
5:03 pm

Alright folks I’m about to wrap things up…gotta find something for this weekend.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
5:04 pm

No finger waves, no Jheri Curl, but I had mean azz Scurl though….lol

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
5:05 pm

Congratulations, disco!!!!

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
5:06 pm

Ex – Um, I’m not sure if i’m going over there today or not. He just textd me to see if I was going to go home or come there. I told him I’m going to the gym first either way

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
5:06 pm

Never wore finger waves, never wore a curl…would get my hair straightened every 2 weeks, which I hated because of the ear and neck burns. Then, the razor to trim up the back always sent chills up me.

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
5:07 pm

Jake – you had that Duke kit

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
5:07 pm

Disco..as soon as I posted I was bout to ask u how come u ain’t at the graduation

u gotta be there absolutely!

disco

February 16th, 2012
5:07 pm

thanks leggs. i’ve gone natural with the hair and don’t miss all that hair drama not one bit.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
5:07 pm

To this day, I have no idea how that Scurl stuff got folks hair looking wet & curly from nappy lol

Yall be easy…i’m out to get this elliptical & arms workout on. Peace, love and herrr grease

disco

February 16th, 2012
5:09 pm

ex – his graduations are first Saturday in may and first Saturday in june. the degree he picked up yesterday he finished in December but they don’t have a winter graduation.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
5:09 pm

Willie…Dayum Skippy, boi you couldn’t tell me nothin…had a long part in that thang too.!!!

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
5:09 pm

“Then, the razor to trim up the back always sent chills up me

Um Leggs, you better be glad it’s the end of the day because I’m sure that would pull swiss out of hiding with a witty but sexual comeback. Oops, I said come back…damn

DUKE KIT is FUNNY

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
5:10 pm

Jake – Please tell me you didn’t have the Shaved-In part???

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
5:13 pm

Pretty mfer hahaha. I had a roommate the exact same way. Put that Duke kit in and couldn’t tell him nothing.

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
5:19 pm

@SlimNu ~ reading it back, yeah, swiss would have a field day.

I’m off to the ellipitical and weights.

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
5:22 pm

“…out of hiding with a witty but sexual comeback. Oops, I said come back…damn

DUKE KIT is FUNNY” The word “duke” behind all of that is even funnier!!!!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
5:28 pm

Slim, not sure what shaved in means, but it was bout 3 inches long and that fire.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 16th, 2012
5:29 pm

Gone yall, be easy

Bruce Buccio

February 16th, 2012
7:07 pm

I have kids. All grown now. And after many years of dating single women without kids ( averaging 2-3 years) I learned to find harmony with single mothers. And im not a fan of blended families either, brings a whole other set of dynamics not needed mentioned here. You made a commitment to your kids first, sorry hands down. If You haven’t already, learn to love your self first for your kids. Happiness is not always about being coupled. Child less women have needs too and that needs to be respected. It’s a tough balance. Sme will will find a mans engaging commitment to his children very attractive. in the end it’s the chemistry and the needs and wants between all parties involved. Theres no secret. http://Www.parentingforsingles.blogspot.com.

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