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Dating single parents: The good, bad, and ugly

Whenever kids are involved, dating takes even more careful consideration about who you let in your life and why. It’s one thing to date wholly inappropriate people and have a casual fling when it’s just two consenting adults. When one or both of you have children, you should probably know with some degree of certainty – that the person you are seeing is a viable romantic partner. It also helps when they aren’t clinically insane.

I know of two friends that are dating single parents right now. They are going through vastly different experiences trying to navigate new romances with people who have children. It makes it pretty clear that the way you handle challenges makes a world of difference.

While one relationship seems to be solid, the other is rocky and full of drama. I can only speculate, but it seems that it’s a maturity thing – or lack thereof.

Dating a single parent can be a really rewarding experience, especially when everyone agrees the kids come first. A lot of people actually struggle with this and I think it ends up being a deal breaker a lot of times.

Have you found ways to successfully date while single parenting? What advice would you give someone who is trying to juggle work, parenting, and a love life?

What pitfalls should you avoid to give the romance a chance of working out?

Are you childless and dating someone with kids? What was the good, bad, and ugly? How do you make it work?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

323 comments Add your comment

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
3:24 pm

Lol my bad Jake

that’s why I like Larry he could bring the facts out softly no confrontation

My ole time Larry best with Halle Berry

Larry: so how was the movie tell me bout it

Halle: yada yada ..

Larry: the love scene..(sheepish smile and looking her str8 in the eyes)
…..Halle!, was that acting?

:lol:

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
3:24 pm

Ummm, why did my manager dial in from the Carribean???? She’s on vacay attendng a wedding.

This year I’m thinking about going to the islands the same week my kid/sister/mom all go to Disney World with the church. I ain’t telling her though :)

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
3:25 pm

Glad that 1.5 hr. mtg. is over. If you guys are still on Bobby and for those who blame Bobby for Whitney’s downward spiral, this is my take:

Whitney was hood way before Bobby came along. Cissy cleaned up her little girl and presented us a classy, poised young lady, but the hood was still there. She was attracted to Bobby because he allowed her to be “real.” That probably fascinated her because she wasn’t able to be herself. The rebel in her found the obvious rebel in him and the magnetism started. Bobby did help in her downward spiral, but he definitely wasn’t the cause. That’s my take.

As far as him still being the beneficiary (if that’s true), then she’s the dumb and slow one (sorry for calling you out Ms. Houston). One thing I know to do is protect my money, especially if I have as much as she had. Hell, I certainly protected my 401(k) from my ex. Why she didn’t change her Will to remove his status was solely on her, again if it’s true. I still find that hard to believe.

And, despite the dysfunction that is know as The Brown Family, he’s her father and he has every right to be at that funeral sitting beside his daugther. Whatever is motives are after the funeral will come to play, but he should have the right to be besides his daughter (if she wants him there).

disco

February 16th, 2012
3:28 pm

I don’t know if any of you have seen the sponge bob episode (yeah sponge bob). anyway squidward was mad at sponge bob and he told him “when I die you BETTER NOT come to my funeral”. I, personally, thought that was hilarious. sorry. it’s late in the day. by now y’all ought to know I’m a tad bit off.

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
3:29 pm

Kimmie.. He has no substance.. I think what makes him weak is,while he is sympathetic to liberal causes he tries to position himself as a serious journalist but bellyaches to right wing attacks on his supposedly liberal ties.. Over corrects.

That’s why he goes on to be as stupid as putting Palin on that pedestal

He is like Mitt Romney who wants to act regular but doesn’t know the price of a loaf of bread

Phony!

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
3:34 pm

the way Bobby’s mouth turns twists the lips= liqor addict

Ex – No offense but i’ve been around many a alcoholic and I’ve never met one who’s mouth turned sideways due to drinking…but if they had a side car of CRACK or Meth then it would.

As far as Bobby bringing WH down, I heard an interview of her talking about Bobby (believe it was Oprah) where she said she was able to be Her around him. So if anything, he only got her to be more comfy being the true behind closed doors WH, and not the superstar princess generated persona.

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
3:37 pm

tad bit, hahaha

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
3:38 pm

If Whitney had just clung to her church roots! I was on the way to church myself one morning and they played one of my favorites, I Love the Lord, on the radio and Whitney was singing it! It sent chills thru me! Her voice was truly God-given!

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
3:40 pm

Slim?

liqor and grass

I have an uncle whose mannerisms are just like Bobby

and he knows the bottle and weed omg!

disco

February 16th, 2012
3:41 pm

touché WD, touché. my mother called me crazy at lunch today and I kindly reminded her that kids don’t take after strangers.

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
3:46 pm

i’ve been around many a alcoholic and I’ve never met one who’s mouth turned sideways due to drinking…

Me,too and I’ve yet to see that…

…but if they had a side car of CRACK or Meth then it would.

Now that I have seen..I wonder what the physiology is behind that..

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
3:46 pm

random – cloudy, rainy day. Good day to get out and about for somebodies Happy hour.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 16th, 2012
3:49 pm

the lip twisting is a sign of a slight stroke…likely drug induced…

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
3:49 pm

If Whitney had just clung to her church roots!

Church folk got demons,too…

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
3:50 pm

Sass – You right about that!

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
3:51 pm

Not always Dan..lip twisting can result from crack…well that’s what I’ve surmised from the ones I’ve seen…they all have that in common.

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
3:52 pm

Exactly my point, SlimNu.

We all know you have to watch out for some of them church folk….they’re some of the biggest wolves!

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
3:55 pm

Leggs – That’s why I say you have to have a PERSONAL relationship with GOD – not the pastor or the church folk, but GOD!

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
3:56 pm

lip twisting may be a form of a slight stroke, but more often it’s the sign of too many coke freezes!

Leggs

February 16th, 2012
3:57 pm

Yep, kimmie! Pastor and church folk are only human therefore they can err…

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:08 pm

disco – Just saw your 3:22 on Regina King. I agree. I like her. She’s a classy chic. She can go ghetto or she can play upstanding. Just don’t the the recognition she deserves.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:09 pm

Church folk got demons,too

kimmie – Your post reminds me of The Color Purple where Shug Avery starts singing the church song from the juke joint to the church. She hugs her daddy and says, “See daddy…sinners have souls too”

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
4:10 pm

Regina King?

she ain’t crossed over……yet,

maybe she needs a new agent

kimmie - the original :)

February 16th, 2012
4:11 pm

Slim – Maybe God Is Trying to Tell You Something! – That’s my favorite part of that movie!!!

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:12 pm

celisea – and that’s just what the comic was saying.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:18 pm

Regina King will always be Brenda from 227 with the eye rolling attitude, mushroom haircut following behind Calvin lol

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:19 pm

Well this is how I see it…God made Adam and Eve, both fell as a result of sin/disobedience. We are all God’s children, all their offsprings all subject to sin, all born in sin.

The good book says there are two spirits that war within…so we’ve got the devil always pulling at the carnal in us and we have God always pulling and that voice you hear, all becaus we’re in his likenss and image. That’s two fold. That’s spiritual and that’s literal. So if I see you, I see me and vice versa.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:20 pm

Man-o-man I use to envy Brenda’s 227 hairstyles…of course back then…lol

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:23 pm

C – The first official haircut I got was that Brenda cut, short in the front and long in the back. Now that I think of it, that was the Black Woman’s version of a mullet :lol:

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:28 pm

slim – and if you were a fly girl you put some crimps in it.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:30 pm

Slim – LOL…that’s funny. I can’t believe I thought she was soooo fly…lol

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:31 pm

Or if you owned the iron where you could change the plates to crimp. My mama wouldn’t let me use or own one of those..

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:32 pm

disco – How about crimps in the back but the front had the FANGA WAVES!! I swear I think I took a school picture with that hairstyle, a printed Izod polo type shirt and a nice herring bone to suit. :lol:

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:33 pm

so celisea – you had to flip your regular curling iron back and forth over and over to get it?

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:37 pm

disco – ut uh, no crimps if my beautician didn’t put them in…and if it was “extra” my mama said NO!

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:40 pm

I think crimps were extra lol…After a few days, part of the hair would be straight and some of it would still be crimped from laying on it. You had to go hard on the spritz to get it to last longer. The days of the HARD HAIR ewwwww

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:41 pm

Now when I started going to Sammy he cut alllll my hair off and started over. Once it grew and grew and grew (nowhere near the length it was), he would do finger waves in the top and have the rest curly. He would lift the finger waves once it dried. I bought the clips he used and clipped them back down at night and lifted in the morning :)

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:44 pm

They were. I was going to Ms. MaryAnn and she would ask my mama how she wanted it down. Like I said anything outside of her $25 fee was a no go. When I started working I started going to Sammy..danggit I paid for my own “extras.” Really, I didn’t a lot of anything that would cause stress….gel, spritz…none of that. Sammy didn’t gel my fingerwaves. Just formed while wet, clipped them down so they would stay in place to dry and lift once dried…very pretty…for back then.

Sassy Me..Lotus flower bomb..butterfly ;-)

February 16th, 2012
4:45 pm

he would do finger waves in the top and have the rest curly

Mayne if I EVER see another finger wave it’ll be too soon..errbody n they mama used to rock those. Ohh the memories..

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:46 pm

y’all must have been “rich” growing up with y’all regular hair appointments and all. for the most part it was kitchen beauticians all the way. if you were lucky you had a homegirl or cousin or something that could do hair. my momma wasn’t (and still to this day isn’t) the salon type.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:47 pm

Now I would pull my hair up and wear in a curly ball. My bothers called me Pebbles. I would spray that joker up…lol I’d wear about a week and Sammy would wash the spray out.

What the heck was I thinking???

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:47 pm

sassy – what about the pineapple waves? we called them pineapple and something else i can’t remember. when you tie the net over your hair and then use a rat tail comb to pick the hair out.

SlimNu

February 16th, 2012
4:48 pm

My mom would do Pineapple waves on my hair whenever it was an off-week for going to the salon. You know you put that net over your wet hair with some setting lotion, then take the tail end of a rat tail comb and lift the hair through each square in the net, sit under the dryer and take the net off once it dried. BAM! Pineapple waves lol

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:50 pm

slim – jinx.

Exiled!

February 16th, 2012
4:51 pm

Slim?

soooo,u looking frward to tonite’s chilly rainy weather in the covers?

Officer home?

how bout u single patent females..Disco?

uglies tonite…? Yummy weather!

Willie Dynamite

February 16th, 2012
4:51 pm

No dude betnot post nothing bout having fangawaves

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:52 pm

Yep Sassy…that was it back in the day.

disco – Naw, my mama had folks that grew up and moved out. Meaning a little extra money was “freed up”…lolLike I said $25 every two weeks and nothing over…lol

I ain’t gon lie…if I wash my hair at home it because it’s opposite my salon week and I have somewhere to go…like that day. I did my kid’s hair until she was about 12 only because she had so much of it and it would spiral up as soon as water hit it. It was sooo soft and would break easily so I would press it. It’s not long now (not like it was) but her hair was a good almost to her waist and healthy and really, I was silly enough to think no one could do it or I should say would take the pain I took to keep it healthy. I never blow dried. I would plait while wet and press after it dried. It would take 3 – 4 hours sometimes. If I half did it, 2 hours.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:54 pm

No fanga waves WillieD??

disco

February 16th, 2012
4:55 pm

ex – you meant single parent right? well, I’ve been emancipated!!! by the way, my offspring picked up his criminal justice degree yesterday. he took a pic of it and emailed it to me.

willie d – whether they say it or not, I’m sure there’s some brothers here that are guilty.

Celisea

February 16th, 2012
4:56 pm

What about Jheri Curls? I never sported those but Yvette and her husband use to get theirs set every two weeks together and sit opposite each under under the dryer…lol How come (yes how come), folks sat under the dryer with Jheri Curls but they never dried?