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Love, Not Actually

Imagine being on a date on the supposedly most romantic night and someone drops the L-word on you. Imagine the awkwardness of the moment when you don’t say it back!

People use the word love rather frivolously. I love chocolate. I love the show Fringe. When it comes to true love, do you say it when you feel it? Do you say it when you are unsure?

Have you ever been in a new relationship and got caught up in the moment and told someone you loved them?

What would you do if someone you had “strong feelings” for professed love way too soon?

Yesterday we talked about how will you know, but what do you do when you know for sure that you are not in love…and they are?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

177 comments Add your comment

Exiled!

February 15th, 2012
1:31 pm

Nope Slim,I’m just saying If,somehow u got some inside info bout a dude u were eyeing and the info ain’t that favorable,u wldnt want to waste time dating dude anyway.

Same here with sex talk…it doesn’t get talked about upfront but if u happen to know another chic that knows another that went out with dude and it wasn’t pretty,u skip,Right!

@Slim?

Would u date a dude that don’t bow down on All knees? :lol:

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
1:37 pm

@Ex ~ anything is possible. Cunninglus (sp?) isn’t the end of all things/relationship. As noted, Queen married you.

SlimNu

February 15th, 2012
1:38 pm

Ex – what are the odds that someone is going to know that type of info about about a person one may have interest in? And I have dated a guy that did not give earmuffilectomies. However, we dated for at least 3 to 4 months before we even talked about that kind of thing. I was not excited about it but we never got that far along for it to be an issue.

Celisea

February 15th, 2012
1:45 pm

It’s a lost cause. He’s so skewed and jaded in his way of thinking. Why bother? He runs left at the slightest of hearing what he thought he heard. I may have missed a post or two but I don’t think disco said one way or the other what she does or doesn’t will or won’t do.

Everybody in their right mind know that one person’s dating experience will not be the same as another. Unless you’re looking to get feedback and have a try at it I can’t see anybody saying they won’t try if it didn’t work for the first person. Who does that? Who passes stories along all for the next person to take a stab? Most men that discuss experiences with their male friends does so with the understanding and assumption that you won’t be taking a try. I would presume women do the same. Not the way it works all the time but unless someone is running game or playing games no one shares stories all for you to beware of your turn or taking a turn.

Exiled!

February 15th, 2012
1:46 pm

Dating for 3/4 months be4 earmufflectomies?

He was a real Slow mover wasn’t he?

3 months? Daamn!

So he was taking u out to spots for all these 3/4 months?

Here in the A Slim,u better off knowing,dontcha think?

I know u sly chics will put on a sexy dress and will ‘accidentally’or seemingly unintentionally bump on dude’s grill just to test the zip on his transmission well before u go there!

Don’t front now! :lol:

Celisea

February 15th, 2012
1:48 pm

And what the hell is “all knees?” We ain’t got but two at the most.

Celisea

February 15th, 2012
1:49 pm

Lost in translation….everything

SlimNu

February 15th, 2012
1:56 pm

Ex – we would have great lengthy convo’s aboiut almost everything but sex and it was a welcomed change. Everyone doesn’t pull out the sex questionaire like you would within the 1st 48hrs. Yes we were going out whenever time permitted. There were even times I stayed at his spot and he would sleep on the couch or in another room.

Exiled!

February 15th, 2012
1:59 pm

Slim..he wasn’t feeling u like that. Friend zone.

did he pinch ur butt or cop a feel anywhere?

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
2:03 pm

@Ex ~ is Queen even remotely aware of your twisted twin????

disco

February 15th, 2012
2:07 pm

ex – (1:19) you mean a lot of men like it when their women fake it?

everybody else – first off “ain’t nobody stuttin ex” – his little sex questionnaire didn’t really put me off. now this isn’t really the forum for it but I’ve been at get togethers, card parties whatever where the conversation took that turn. trust. I’ll say what I feel like saying and I’ll get downright verbally raunchy with the best of them. remember I’m the chick that will call a man out for what he’s bragging on. show me what you working with!!!

SlimNu

February 15th, 2012
2:08 pm

Ex – this is where I back up outta the convo…You’re all on the wrong street in the wrong city on the wrong side of the world.

Leggs – Either he has a problem or he doesn’t get much action…acts like a cat in heat lol

Exiled!

February 15th, 2012
2:08 pm

She knows I like it

I don’t think she views that as twisted more as natural

it’s not taboo certainly

why wld a dude approach a stranger chic honestly if ’smash’ ain’t in the equation?

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
2:13 pm

It’s rid ic ulou, SlimNu!

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
2:14 pm

Like it and the way you talk about it are two different things.

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
2:14 pm

I too am done…

Exiled!

February 15th, 2012
2:22 pm

No difference in my book

Now I understand u coy bout it

Cool

SlimNu

February 15th, 2012
2:31 pm

Sooo, what did yall do for Vday? We chilled at the house and watched a movie….may go out this weekend.

Exiled!

February 15th, 2012
2:33 pm

Slim..I did what I do most week days,homework with the kids

Chill

nothing different bout the day

kimmie - the original :)

February 15th, 2012
2:35 pm

Haven’t you all ever heard the saying “An empty wagon makes the most noise?”

Slim – We took the kids to Ruby Tuesday & then chilled with a movie too.

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
2:37 pm

I worked on scholarship money over a bottle of wine (lol).

disco

February 15th, 2012
2:40 pm

yep kimmie. and the squeaky wheel gets the grease, a closed mouth don’t get fed, if you can hunh you can hear, don’t have a pot nor a window…. I could go on. I love all those little sayings. my mother used to say so and so didn’t have eye water to cry with. when I was a kid I used to think so and so must be in awful bad shape not to have eye water.

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
2:41 pm

Never heard it called “eye water.”

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
2:42 pm

Don’t forget, a hit dog will holla…

Exiled!

February 15th, 2012
2:42 pm

Disco if Kimmie is saying my balls are empty I got no problem with that.

disco

February 15th, 2012
2:44 pm

my grandma used to say “broke as the ten commandments” (which I think is hilarious because we all know those commandments stay broken). my other grandma used to say “you don’t eat because you’re hungry, you eat to keep from getting hungry”. we hated to hear that when we were kids because usually we had to stop playing to eat and tried to get out of it by talking about we weren’t hungry.

SlimNu

February 15th, 2012
2:44 pm

Leggs – hahaha

Kimmie – you make me wanna go by there to get a salad Mmmm

kimmie - the original :)

February 15th, 2012
2:46 pm

disco – My mom & grandmama said “poor as a church mouse”

SlimNu

February 15th, 2012
2:47 pm

I’ve recently heard folks at work say something like, I’ll see you in the morning, God willing and the creek don’t rise. Or, so and so better watch it before I cloud up and rain down on her ass lol

kimmie - the original :)

February 15th, 2012
2:50 pm

Nutier than a fruitcake!

disco

February 15th, 2012
2:51 pm

slim – now I like that one about clouding up and raining down. that’s new to me. I also grew up hearing “tight as dick’s hat band” and “strong as jack Johnson”. my grandma also accused a restaurant of serving her carrots that were “as hard as times were in 32”. y’all done got me nostalgic.

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
2:52 pm

I like that “cloud up” Never heard that either. There are a slew of country bumpkin sayings I’ve never heard. Not ill intent, but I know no other way of saying it. Country folk have all these cute sayings and bring them to the ears of us northerners (lololol).

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
2:54 pm

Cold as a witch’s tit…

Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater

Don’t have a pot to piss in

You’re tarbaby black

kimmie - the original :)

February 15th, 2012
2:56 pm

I’ve heard the hat band one. Never heard the cloud up one.

kimmie - the original :)

February 15th, 2012
2:56 pm

Like white on rice

disco

February 15th, 2012
2:57 pm

leggs – I am a northerner but all of my grandparents are from the deep south and they just took the country up north with them.

oooh leggs. not the tarbaby. that one gets my mother RILED UP. naturally she’s quite dark and as kids we had a grand old time playing the dozens. she could tolerate most of our jokes but tarbaby was like cussing in our house. she did not play that word.

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
3:01 pm

I’ll cut you down to the whitemeat….

@disco ~ I heard tarbaby so much growing up I didn’t know what it meant at first. I wasn’t called “tarbaby” but I heard others saying it.

Playing the dozens…took me way back!

SlimNu

February 15th, 2012
3:03 pm

P!ss or get off the pot

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
3:03 pm

I’ll be a monkey’s uncle…

kimmie - the original :)

February 15th, 2012
3:06 pm

Kneehigh to a grasshopper!

Slim – I use that “get off the pot” one often myself!

disco

February 15th, 2012
3:07 pm

speaking of black (well tarbaby) did any of you ever hear/use the phrase “blue/black” or so black you look purple? anyway, I was out once with the ex who is quite dark. he was wearing a dark purple shirt. as we were waiting on dinner I looked up at him and it was like his face and shirt blended together. I thought of how as kids calling someone purple was a serious put down and I just bust out laughing. he wanted to know why I was laughing but I could hardly talk. when I did get my breath and told him what I was laughing at he had the nerve to tell me that his shirt wasn’t purple it was eggplant. that just made me laugh harder. boy that was funny. (at least to me – he wasn’t very amused).

SlimNu

February 15th, 2012
3:12 pm

My last regional mgr is VERY dark. I had a white co-worker gently ask me about the blue hue the mgr had. I couldn’t do anything but laugh at her. She was amazed at how dark or bluish the woman was :lol:

kimmie - the original :)

February 15th, 2012
3:14 pm

Off topic – Why in the world do some of these idiot politicians think it’s necessary to waste taxpayer money to do drug tests on people before they can get unemployment or welfare? Did they learn from Florida’s example that it was just a big waste of money? If you are unemployed or applying for welfare, how can you afford drugs? Extremely misplaced priorities if you ask me. But nobody asked me, so I’ll get off my soapbox!!

disco

February 15th, 2012
3:21 pm

kimmie – you pose a damned good question. if you are unemployed/applying for welfare how do you get money for drugs? I say it’s a damned good question because I know countless folks with no jobs, no hustle, no pot, no window, no eye water BUT they can get their hands on a sack of weed (or their other drug of choice).

kimmie - the original :)

February 15th, 2012
3:28 pm

disco – No doubt it happens, cause I’ve seen it. There is just no evidence that the unemployed/poor use drugs at any greater rate than any other group. Certainly not at a rate that would warrant the more than half a million dollars Florida spent on such tests and did not create any jobs or make anything better. They actually found an average of TWO applicants a month that tested positive! You know what could have been done with that half a million???

disco

February 15th, 2012
3:32 pm

I agree kimmie. that’s why I didn’t even broach that part of the equation. I just went straight to I also wonder how it is they manage to stay in supply. sometimes I ponder why I work so hard. I’ve realized that a lot of folks who don’t work have the same stuff (and in some cases, better stuff) than I have.

Velonese

February 15th, 2012
3:33 pm

L-word = deal breaker, enough said.

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
3:35 pm

Yep, have heard blue/black. Also have heard “black as midnight.”

GlammourGirl

February 15th, 2012
3:37 pm

kimmie – Not familiar with what happened in Florida, but did the number of applicants decrease? Maybe some people didn’t bother applying because they knew they would fail the drug test.

Leggs

February 15th, 2012
3:40 pm

I have been amazed at some people less fortunate than myself has the bigger house, the bigger tvs, nice cars, nice furniture, etc. That’s why I’m not jealous of anyone. I have no idea their struggle to maintain. All I know my struggle is very minimal. I’ve never played the game “keep up with the Joneses.”