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Attraction: Who gets our attention? Time?

I read somewhere that the type of woman that gets a man’s attention is not always the same type that gets his time. I have witnessed men gawk at the sexy vixen who is turning heads, but is that the type he will end up with though?

I know I can notice a edgy guy who looks like he is a total heart breaker, but would I actually take that type seriously? Probably not! This makes me wonder if we ever really know for sure when the type of attraction we have to people is the kind that will last longer than 72 hours.

When you consider the type of person who makes you sit up and take notice, do you think that person is someone you could actually be around?

Should we trust our initial attraction to pick the person we should pursue?

How do you decide who gets your time after they get attention?

158 comments Add your comment

Lily

February 13th, 2012
7:31 am

Any handsome man can warrant a head turn or two but handsome versus quality can be far removed. What really “catches my eye/get my attention/turns my head”, is a good man. What are looks if he’s worth about a nickle?

Foxy

February 13th, 2012
7:48 am

“I know I can notice a edgy guy who looks like he is a total heart breaker”

When it comes to the heart breakers Foxy thinks you should play with it, but don’t take it home. :)

GM Kids!

David

February 13th, 2012
8:06 am

I have been the dating route for many years and tried dating the smoking hotties and on down. Nothing is as exciting and easy on the eyes as a gorgeous woman that takes care of herself. The problems arise when she is aware of her appearance so much that she knows she can have most any man (at the very least for a night) and take him for a “test drive”. She also knows that if things don’t fit her “standards” perfectly, she can discard him and take the next in line. And there will be MANY in line. I still love to gaze at the jaw droppers, but also know that they sure are a lot of dang trouble…..MOST of the time.

My girlfrind now is not what you would call a head turner, but she is kind, smart as a whip, thoughtful and makes me think that SHE is the one that wants to keep ME. That is something that cannot be replaced buy anything. I can still look…..but that’s all I do is look. I’ll take what I have right now when it comes for investing my time and energy. JMO

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
8:07 am

Good Morning!

Interesting topic………this guy recently got my attention after several attempts with smiling and dancing silly around me. I didn’t notice him for a while but then realized he was truly checking me out so he finally got my attention and asked me to dance and we have been dancing these past three weeks and its been good times.

How do you decide who gets your time after they get attention? Of course what i just described has happened before but currently their is an eagerness to learn more about each other and as I mentioned earlier about this particular guy he likes talking on the phone and just loves to talk period. He has been very forthcoming and respectful. a total gentleman. he is of good quality and loves family and has a lively spirit. Very attentive and when we are out I am his center of attention and may I add he has yet to make me feel uncomfortable interacting. I think what has warrant more time with him is he is just as passionate as I am and very smart. I guess the moral of this meet and greet is never judge a book by its cover and may I add he is very easy on the eyes I just took him to be something he’s not. He is really a good guy and we are going dancing again for VDay and doing a couple of upcoming concerts……he is very take-aroundable!

~Rest In Peace Whitney Houston~

David

February 13th, 2012
8:09 am

And to add, I am pretty dang fond of her and do whatever I can to make sure she knows that. I’ve cooked up a Valentine’s evening that I hope will knock her socks off. Good luck to everyone else this Valentine’s Day!

Take it as it comes

February 13th, 2012
8:27 am

Looks are skin deep, give me a girl that I can take on a date. If I can lay her the first night, that means another guy can do the same thing. I judge a woman’s worth to the standards she holds herself to. If she goes after players, not worth my time. If I have to work for her, then she is probably going to be worth it, and I am not talking about dancing and buying her a bunch of drinks. If she is a head turner and has guys all over her all the time, it’s not worth the hassle.

"ISO" Joe

February 13th, 2012
8:43 am

Good Morning all….

Ok, I guess today is going to be filled with tales of all the boys and girls speaking on how they always take substance over style, But each and everyone one of us knows should be jumping up and down to call BULLSH** on that!!! We all ant to think and say that we make better chocies than to pick the “empty suited Head Turner” But we don’t… If she is Vixon enough, and fine enough, and appears to be game, 8 out of 10 dudes will go out of their way to holla at her…And ladies… That 6′4 Boris Kodjo type will get to the front of the line and have every opportunity to make his case over the more sincere guy that rates as a “7″….If we are gonna have this conversation, at least be honest….

Jay Anna

February 13th, 2012
8:45 am

@Take it…sounds like you’ve been hurt. Happy Valenines Day.

Mr. Unknown

February 13th, 2012
8:52 am

Morning,

I love a very attractive woman but for me its all about how she displays herself. Conversation is the tell for me. I’ve learned through trial by error to never judge at first appearence but at the same time I don’t want to have an eyegasm before we have a simple conversation.

Now with that said, If I had Amber Rose standing next to Nia Long I would chose Nia all day! I wonder if Nia is married?

Take it as it comes

February 13th, 2012
8:54 am

Most of us have been hurt, I just am old enough to know what I am looking for and what I am not. Being hurt a long time in the past is one thing, being smart enough to know the warning signs is a completely different thing. With age comes wisdom.

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
8:58 am

Mr U she is with a basketball star and just had a baby from him and choosing not to marry. She said she is fine without marriages……

He's Right

February 13th, 2012
8:58 am

“ISO” Joe is pretty much dead on bull’s eye with that post. Oh, I know everyone will come out and say what they are SUPPOSED to say (substance over looks, etc….yawn), but if a Halle Berry or Brad Pitt lookalike showed up next to an average looking Sue or John, there is no doubt who is going to get the nod. Those of you saying “They aren’t worth the hassle” or “I’ll take a (pause for it….) good hearted man/woman any day or night.: clearly think that you aren’t ABLE to fit the bill.

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
8:59 am

The baby’s father is Long’s boyfriend NBA Basketball player Ime Udoka.

Mr. Unknown

February 13th, 2012
9:03 am

Dang!! TMI…. lol

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
9:05 am

Mr. Unknown

February 13th, 2012
9:08 am

Morning Lady~ Persistence prevails when all else fails. He was like you going to see me today.. lol! Thats whats up!

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
9:11 am

Morning Mr U!!!!! I am sitting here laughing with you!!!! funny!

Jay Anna

February 13th, 2012
9:21 am

@ Take it…you are right most of us have been hurt, I just happened to read yours….wisdom judge not across the board but on individual merit.

Lily

February 13th, 2012
9:22 am

I don’t think anyone will refute a handsome man or attractive will get noticed. By the same token, I for one have experienced enough to know about myself that a good head turn is all I’m willing to give. I won’t be standing in line based on the outer appearance.

Mr. Unknown

February 13th, 2012
9:36 am

Lady~ I need a pick me up this morning. Never tried the 5 hour drink, do you crash after five hours?

How do you decide who gets your time after they get attention? With simple conversation, If she is not scared to Laugh out loud in public or just having a good time equals a big plus.

Being so close to Vday, Should a woman expect an all out showing on the first Vday together or will a coffee mug with a bear hugging it be good?! Are handmade gifts acceptable?

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
9:37 am

Mr U~I haven’t tried them either by itself……red bull and grey goose maybe lol but hmmmm maybe breakfast sir……….. ;)

Leggs

February 13th, 2012
9:58 am

Good morning.

@David ~ very nice post (both of them).

Since I don’t know the quality of the person right off the bat, what catches my attention is a nicely dressed, clean smelling, man. Can be dressed in jeans or pants and shirt, but nice. Don’t like the long shorts, droopy pants look. After I get past his appearance, I’ll then concentrate what he has to say and how he says it.

Mr. Unknown

February 13th, 2012
9:59 am

Yeah, I need to get something light to eat but I have a taste for grits. Grits = Under desk knocked out! Some toast may do the trick. Red bull and Grey goose is that your prefered drink?

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
10:02 am

No sir my preferred drink is really any type of vodka and on the rocks with lime ( l like absolute, kettle one, grey goose) but not picky at all…

Mr U I cooked some cheese grits Saturday morning and boy they were slammin’! we love grits! My child eats them for her after school snack LOL

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
10:03 am

No sugar in our grits either! yuck.com lol

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
10:03 am

But I see many men drinking red bull and grey goose so it must stimulate! LOL pun intended!

kimmie - the original :)

February 13th, 2012
10:07 am

Morning All!

Leggs, I think your post pretty much sums it up. Of course, outward appearance is going to be what attracts you initially because you don’t know that person yet. There are some that have lost me the minute they opened their mouths though! And just because a dude does not look like Boris Kodjoe does not automatically mean he’s going to be more “sincere” than more attractive guy. He could still be an ugly jerk. And it’s not fair to assume the Boris guy is not going to be sincere just because he gets the attention he does.

It’s real simple. People spend time and attention on what they want. If they don’t want you, you will get neither, or very little.

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
10:08 am

It’s real simple. People spend time and attention on what they want. If they don’t want you, you will get neither, or very little. <<<<<<<Amen!

Mr. Unknown

February 13th, 2012
10:11 am

It gives you wings!! Is that the cheap version of viagra! Jack and coke hits the spot.

Wow, you country just like me!! lol! Sugar is a no no but cheese grits and fried catfish. See, Im excited for no reason right now. lol.

Im out to get some breakfast check back in with ya later.

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
10:12 am

lol yep country! peace mr u!

Leggs

February 13th, 2012
10:26 am

@Ex ~ if you’re lurking, I owe you an apology for my tribal comment Friday. That was out of line and, although my feeble attempt at being funny, it didn’t sit right with me over the weekend. So, with that said, I am sorry and will adjust my sarcasm accordingly!!!

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
10:41 am

Lady~

February 13th, 2012
10:57 am

oh well great start to my morning now part 2! check y’all later~ ;)

SlimNu

February 13th, 2012
11:13 am

Good morning all,

I see we’re already slacking on the topic. Um, I wasn’t really feeling Jennifer Hudson’s contribute to Whitney. ijs

Leggs

February 13th, 2012
11:21 am

Why not, SlimNu? She sang it well and although she did sing in a huskier tone, I don’t think she intentionally tried to overshadow Whitney’s version.

Now, Nikki Minaj needs to stay sitting down for that fiasco she performed last night.

SlimNu

February 13th, 2012
11:32 am

Leggs – I wasn’t expecting her to try to do it like Whitney but I was a bit bored with it, and I cannot explain why. Nikkis performance was a bit strange. It was like a mixture of Nikki Minaj meets Lady GaGa meets Madonnas, Like a Prayer video. I watched waiting for the reenactment of a exercism & blook spewing everywhere. :shock:

Exiled!

February 13th, 2012
11:43 am

Thanks Leggs!

Frankly speaking I didn’t take offense to anything you said..I call myself mandingo all the time when bantering with u guys.
thnx tho..

Exiled!

February 13th, 2012
11:47 am

I didnt know Bruno Mars facially…infact most of the Q100 artists.

He/she talented tho!

kimmie - the original :)

February 13th, 2012
11:49 am

Slim – I agree with you about Hudson’s performance of the song. I admit, I’ve never been a J Hud fan, I just don’t care much for her style of singing, though I think she can sing. I like I Will Always Love You in a sweeter tone, like Whitney did it and the original, Dolly Parton. Yes, I liked Dolly’s version too!

I missed Diana Ross, did any of you guys see it?

SlimNu

February 13th, 2012
11:53 am

And I meant to say ‘blood’ not ‘blook’..I must’ve been replaying Adele’s accent in my head when I typed that. She is such a classy lady with a great soulful voice.

I did a lot of channel surfing during the show, so I missed a lot i suppose.

disco

February 13th, 2012
12:04 pm

Good afternoon all. I’m late but I’m here. first things first – I had to comment on the comment “if I can lay her the first night someone else can too”. this is a general consensus among men but I really don’t think it’s true. sure it might be true when dealing with dingbats who don’t know there worth but hey – maybe, just maybe – the chick picked the guy up and not the other way around. maybe she smiled in your face for the evening just to get some from you. just a thought.

joe – I was feeling you on calling BS until you tossed boris kodjoe in the mix. in my opinion the only thing he has going for him is height and quite frankly it’s not enough.

slim – I didn’t watch the show but heard Jennifer Hudson on the radio. I liked it.

Leggs

February 13th, 2012
12:05 pm

@Ex ~ I know, that’s why I supposed it was so easy for me to type that. Easy doesn’t make it right! Cool…

I love Adele (my ring tone). Her accent is so thick (she talks like she has a very thick tongue), but sings beautifully, crisp and clear.

Attraction: The person who gets my time is the person who shows me he wants my time and I in turn want to give my time to him. Wait, has this already been said??

Leggs

February 13th, 2012
12:21 pm

Good Grief! Where is everyone???

disco

February 13th, 2012
12:24 pm

I don’t know leggs but if I guess we weren’t invited. and to think when I was busy this morning I imagined all this good talk I was missing out on. go figure.

Leggs

February 13th, 2012
12:37 pm

Now, my posts are being gobbled up…

Leggs

February 13th, 2012
12:37 pm

It’s like a giant muzzle has been placed on Blogsville.

Velonese

February 13th, 2012
12:38 pm

eeehhhhhh….no.

SlimNu

February 13th, 2012
12:46 pm

I stepped out to grab a sammich but i’m here now…not much going on.

Exiled!

February 13th, 2012
12:52 pm

Samuel L Jackson Interview in Ebony,’a N “‘?$@ would have stopped the meeting right there and said,’who the fck said that?!’ lol

(Joe Wilson ‘u lie’ thang) :lol:

cba

February 13th, 2012
1:06 pm

Hey Leggs, you’re sounding better……hope you feel better.
J Hudson did the same song to Whitney herself at the 2010 BET Honor awards.
BET was replaying it during the grammys.