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Ex files: Reunite or never go back?

I know this coupled up holiday can sometimes have an effect on you. You see red hearts and romance reminders everywhere you look. You can’t make a trip to the grocery store or even the gas station!

These kind of reminders that you are single can make you feel vulnerable, lonely, and a little “randy”. This is when you may consider checking back in with those exes. Or you may even hear from your ex out of the blue. It’s usually the exes that are no good for us but we never truly get out of our systems. Yeah, that one.

What do you do? Is it ever a good idea to reunite with an ex? Is this the time of year to do it?

Have you ever looked up a former flame to offer a little “solace” from a sad Valentine’s Day?

Do you ever feel that you have unfinished business with someone from your past? Would you reunite or decide to never go back?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

232 comments Add your comment

disco

February 10th, 2012
11:08 am

Mdot – the real player has no decision to make. he gets ghost on Vday. if he has a main chick – she gets the day while the side pieces wait their turn (if they even get a turn). if they are all just hang out chicks he’ll likely dis them all and come back with his excuse after the fact. women who deal with men like that know they are dealing with men like that. you get what you get.

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
11:08 am

that is juvenile!

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
11:09 am

PREACH DISCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL GHOST.COM that is where I thought M. was going with the VDADY talk!

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
11:10 am

alrighty folks be back a lil later!!! lol

HST

February 10th, 2012
11:10 am

You don’t tell the other woman! That’s just mean and like lady said… juvenile.

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 10th, 2012
11:11 am

@disco

True. I believe that too…but if you arent doing your job or if they just get bored, they are defiantly looking for another situation.

My saying is this:

Most women date like someone who has a good job that is looking for a better job=a good man but would not turn down a better man. This is why some women jump from guy to guy.

Most men date like someone who got laid off but has a 1 year severance package. They are not necessarily looking for another job unless it falls in their lap. =They could have a good woman, break up and take a break until the woman they want comes along.

HST

February 10th, 2012
11:11 am

I’m out also, nice to type with all of you and have a great weekend.

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
11:11 am

I see shoes again!!!

Fion

February 10th, 2012
11:13 am

@Kimmie
Your 11:03 Soliloquies sounds like a back door acceptance of “Expectations” getting in the way of a relationship.

Hellene

February 10th, 2012
11:13 am

Hellene

In October 2011, I was on the verge of losing my boyfriend. After this love spell I cast I found he still loved me.Before i cast the spell A friend advised me to speak to him and apologies but still. He refused to open up. I asked PROPHET ALUTA about casting a spell. He explained the process and i followed by his words. Within 1 WEEK, his SPELL WORK FOR MY EX BOYFRIEND and he
completely changed, his outlook improved 100 percent and we made plans for the future. Now we’re engaged and the wedding is April
14_2012. Thank you. — FREE MERCY TEMPLE,(traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com ) Viewer’s should help me thank him…. I am getting married soon.
His spell worked for me in the time-frame he hoped for. Thanks. you can also contact him for the come back of your ex and you will see the solution okay.
I felt the power of the Love Spell almost immediately. Results happened! Thanks! you can also contact him for your problem.– Hellene,
bye for now i await your reply okay.

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
11:14 am

@kimmie ~ almost texted you last night re: Grey’s and re the slut on Private Practice.

Everything is relative. Perhaps the fact that I’m single my thoughts are different. I’m not bogged down with being alone on V-day. I will not be in a state of mind that I’m spending this day alone. Won’t be bothered either way. I’m happy for those who are coupled up and want to be coupled up, and I pity those coupled up who can’t find an escape route.

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
11:14 am

HST – People talk about the demise of marriage and values and such, but I’m able to look at things differently. I think it’s a great time to be alive. You are more free to be you and do you and what truly makes you happy, not what “society” says you must do to be accepted. I’ve always relished doing things “my way”. I love being married, but even that I did non-traditionally and in my time, my way and also what worked for my husband. And forget what other folks say. They are on the outside looking in.

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 10th, 2012
11:14 am

@HST & Disco

I get the getting lost on valentines day, but wont she look at you sideways the next time she sees/talks to you if ever? Like disco said, they get what they get or deserve lol

Its like that scene from a thin line between love and hate when darnell did not show up for brandy’s birthday…we all know how that turned out for him he almost his life lol

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
11:18 am

@Celisea ~ I asked you yesterday to leave the pills home. Do I need to call an “intervention?”

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
11:19 am

Fion – Hey, if that’s the way you see it. With that said, my expectation of marriage didn’t get in the way of finding a man that had the same expectation. :)

I actually think worrying about “other people’s expectations” are what make a lot of folks unhappy, worrying about what other people say or think. I learned to focus on my own expectations and not those of other people on the outside looking in.

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
11:20 am

Hell, if a spell got you your man and not your skills, character and traits of being a woman, a good woman, down the road the hex will be on you.

Albert

February 10th, 2012
11:23 am

I’m still friends with both of the women I dated seriously, and I’d go back to either one of them if they asked me to. Starting from scratch can be lots of fun, but if it doesn’t work, it can be discouraging. At least when you already know someone you don’t feel you have to start from the very beginning.

Of course, if it works, starting from scratch can be a real blast.! :) ))

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
11:23 am

I could care less what anybody does. I agree LIVE AND LET LIVE. I don’t question, I don’t ask, I don’t care…lol Just don’t ask me base on what you think or believe. I do me and all other do and live as you please and like. I have no judgements. :mrgreen:

Leggs – Toldja, I was born this way…lol I think though….never mind :)

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
11:26 am

I get the getting lost on valentines day, but wont she look at you sideways the next time she sees/talks to you if ever?

M dot – If she’s not a complete dunce and has half an ounce of pride, you won’t hear from her again. We talked about this a few days ago. If a dude got ghost on me just because a holiday is coming up, then he needs to stay gone. That’s some lame high school mess. I like real men, not silly little boys!

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
11:27 am

My uncle had a dog named Buffie and when his daughter wanted to get married and HE KNEW she wasn’t ready, told her “you can marry Buffie for all I care…you like him, I love him” LOL THAT’S how I feel. I think she was bucking though when he tried to give her some insight…lol

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
11:29 am

Oh Lawd, we got somebody casting spells for love? That’s funny

disco

February 10th, 2012
11:30 am

kimmie – and that’s why I say those chicks get what they get. my grandma used to say “see a fool, use a fool”. if a chick wants to sit around playing herself then more power to her. and that same chick who probably didn’t get a gift from her man probably went all out trying to do something special for him. they better ask somebody.

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
11:33 am

disco – Yep, and I’ve been that fool too. Woke up real quick though!!

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
11:34 am

I wish it was nice outside, I would walk out for lunch a bit later. Too cloudy

disco

February 10th, 2012
11:36 am

kimmie – my gimme on the vday gift was way back in high school. I got a little boyfriend a gift (it wasn’t much but it was something). he showed up empty handed. ever since then I’ve been a “give me mine first” kind of girl. bump that.

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
11:37 am

@Celisea ~ casting spells for love is pathetic! If you can’t get the love on your own, why go to such drastic measures. Don’t know anything about spells, but do they not wear off???

HST

February 10th, 2012
11:37 am

I forgot to hit send and shut off my computer…

Celisea @ 10:54 you said, “I don’t really see the benefit of talking and remaining eternally monogamous.” you do realize you just described a healthy marriage/relationship besides “I don’t really see”…maybe that’s the problem you don’t really see one…

Kimmie, I couldn’t agree more.

By all ~ HST

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
11:39 am

HST – Thanks!!

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
11:40 am

Too cloudy to walk…it’s not raining…go take that walk (lol). I’m still waiting to see shoes…

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
11:40 am

Leggs – Take a pill and you’ll see…lol

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 10th, 2012
11:42 am

@Kimmie

Vday defiantly lets everyone know where they stand!

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
11:44 am

disco – “Give me mine first” – I love it, got that right!!

disco

February 10th, 2012
11:46 am

kimmie – I was working at a little five and dime back then (yeah, the five and dime). I could have found something else to do with my little $3(?) an hour. so, yep, I learned that lesson pretty darned quick.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 10th, 2012
11:51 am

So who is buying what for VDay?

Exiled!

February 10th, 2012
11:52 am

@Disco..so u don’t give a dude a gift unless u know they are returning or initiating the favor?

I like ur v-day humping tho. I feel the same way. If ex wants some to feel good about the day,why not?

Yes a lot of females get vulnerable especially when they see other females coupled up. If u hit the club scene and just watch the crowd,u see them. Kinda like deer in headlights. That’s when the playas pounce.(that’s a discussion for another day)

But v day is way commercialized and unfortunately a lot of folks are so sucked in by the hype!
But to be honest when I was on the hunt,v day was the day to score points. It works a lot with lots of females. So guys,playa to playa have some cash in reserve,buy dome flowers etc and send them to her(their) j o b(s)

U will be surprised that there are females who actually send themselves gifts at the job just to ’show off’ to workmates.
Women!!

Exiled!

February 10th, 2012
11:53 am

some flowers

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
11:55 am

@Ex ~ I don’t anyone is surprised at women sending themselves flowers at work. We all know that happens.

disco

February 10th, 2012
11:56 am

exiled – that only applies to reciprocal gift giving occasions like xmas and vday. I don’t expect a gift on dude’s bday or on father’s day or whatever. it may be wrong but it is what it is and I certainly won’t apologize for it.

and ex I know COUNTLESS women who send themselves gifts. two of my closest friends (I’m friends with both of them – they can’t stand each other) had a falling out way back in college re that very thing. one told somebody that they other gifted herself. they almost came to blows over that. still I know chicks that lie and say some suitor or other bought them this that or the other. I also know chicks who bought their own engagement ring and lied about it.

CKM

February 10th, 2012
12:03 pm

How bizzare this topic would come up now. Just last week, I contacted an ex that I haven’t seen in 20+ years. V-Day had absolutely nothing to do with it. Not looking for a re-do, but the catching up has been cool and he looks great. Sort of like a time-warp. I was only 19 when we were together (a baby). As far as the exes that came after him, NO WAY. Definitely learned from those mistakes! I’ve participated in the on again/off again game. My advice: Waste of time.

Purple

February 10th, 2012
12:06 pm

LOL, flowers are so boring for Valentines Day. On topic no I never go back ever. Whether it be a serious relationship, a fling or a start up….if I am done I am done. Ladies be careful the next few days some ladies will be nice for no apparent reason because they don’t want to be alone. SOme are fine with being alone.

Also, if you are a single woman over 30…just know you are a part of some mans rotation somehow. LOL

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
12:09 pm

Ex/disco – See that “sending yourself flowers” mess and acting like they came from a boo is a prime example of worrying about other folks opinions and expectations(Fion)!

If I’m buying myself something, the heck if I’m going to blow that money on delivering some flowers to myself. That probably $50+ would be spent on some shoes or something else, not trying to impress some folks I don’t care about! Stupid!!

Exiled!

February 10th, 2012
12:10 pm

I wish women didn’t do that!

Imagine,if women didn’t prize coochie so high by demanding ‘meaning’ to a relationship and building barriers to it or conditions at every turn then dudes would not be playas or notch builders.

But the more females make coochie scarce,the more we want it and the more the price goes up and the more dudes wanna build notches because if men terms,that’s value!

Coochie economics 105!

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
12:11 pm

Good thing we all move on and don’t cry over spilled milk…. VD would be like dooms day

Exiled!

February 10th, 2012
12:12 pm

in men terms

disco

February 10th, 2012
12:12 pm

kimmie – your stupid sounded like it needed to be said three times. “stupid. stupid. stupid.”

purple – elaborate on this rotation. (I’m single over 30)

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
12:16 pm

Even though I know hubs & I will have a nice Vday, I’m going out right now and buy myself a nice gift! And I’ll tell anyone that cares that I BOUGHT IT!

CKM

February 10th, 2012
12:19 pm

@Purple: I’m over 30 as well, You are dead wrong….idiot.

disco

February 10th, 2012
12:19 pm

exiled – my grandmother used to say that every woman needs to put a price on her cooch. I guess each chick has to determine her own worth/value in that regard. my grandmother said it could be exchanged for love, money, pleasure or whatever but it was a sad woman that was exchanging it for nothing at all.

my point being – that if it’s throwing off your budget and messing up your tally you can always seek out those sad women that are exchanging it for nothing.

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
12:24 pm

I took what Purple was saying that if you don’t hear from this person on a regular basis, but find yourself getting calls from you on V-day it’s probably because he thinks you’re easy prey. In that regard, you are on his rotation, especially if you decide to go and spend time with that person.

Exiled!

February 10th, 2012
12:27 pm

Disco?

see that’s why FWB have been thrown underground(Internet) due to such reasoning. A dude can’t approach a chic on the street and say that’s what they want. Even tho there are willing participants on both sides. The price of cooch is thus kept artificially high!

(I’m really being academic and cerebral with a coach economics argument ) smdh!