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Ex files: Reunite or never go back?

I know this coupled up holiday can sometimes have an effect on you. You see red hearts and romance reminders everywhere you look. You can’t make a trip to the grocery store or even the gas station!

These kind of reminders that you are single can make you feel vulnerable, lonely, and a little “randy”. This is when you may consider checking back in with those exes. Or you may even hear from your ex out of the blue. It’s usually the exes that are no good for us but we never truly get out of our systems. Yeah, that one.

What do you do? Is it ever a good idea to reunite with an ex? Is this the time of year to do it?

Have you ever looked up a former flame to offer a little “solace” from a sad Valentine’s Day?

Do you ever feel that you have unfinished business with someone from your past? Would you reunite or decide to never go back?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

232 comments Add your comment

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 10th, 2012
10:23 am

@Lady

LOL it is going to be funny because (not to generalize) but if you are dating multiple people, somebody is going to want to hang out with you this weekend AND February 14th even though valentines day is in the middle of the week. Female and Male Players beware! LOL

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:25 am

HST the ex hubby and I did have a terrible ending however 6 years later and much growth between the two of us we are beyond cordial. We are friendly and truly respect each other. we are great co-parents and I am just glad we overcame the hate that once divided us. This was our first year exchanging gifts on holidays and they were gifts that went beyond the norm they were thoughtful and that just enhanced the respect we have for one another. I even embrace his girlfriend bc she is good to my child and I brought her a gift as well! Yes, I’ve come a long way and I am glad! I released that hurt and pain! LOL

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:25 am

M. hilarity! SMH!

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

February 10th, 2012
10:26 am

Hey Lady!!

Do you ladies and men always have relationships that end so badly?

No we don’t…that being said, I’m not friends with any of my exes and I’m okay with that.

Is it because y’all expect marriage to come from dating?

For me no not b/c I “expected” marriage…usually some it’s some egregious act that leads to the “no contact order” being instituted. All breakups aren’t bad for everyone.

HST

February 10th, 2012
10:26 am

Lady that is awesome and some should take notes.

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
10:27 am

@HST ~ I have never had a relationship end badly. My divorce wasn’t bad because I made sure, for the sake of lil leggs, that it wouldn’t be one full of strife and discord. He was hurt, but time healed that (to a certain degree – the annoying complimentary texts have stopped just this year).

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 10th, 2012
10:28 am

@Leggs

Exactly! Another thing is you cant do the normal, lets go to brunch or something and be done, they want your ENTIRE weekend.

@Ladies

If you are or have dated multiple guys in the past, how did you handle V-Day?

@Guys

If you are or have dated multiple women in the past, how did you handle V-Day?

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:28 am

Hey Sassy honey!!!!

Thanks HST! It wasn’t easy but I overcame! ;)

HST

February 10th, 2012
10:28 am

Sassy, the last answer has me LOL-ing.

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:32 am

my post divorce ex boo are cool and business partners. nope the door isn’t open and neither on of us even tried. its really growth for me bc I am not buddy buddy with many exes but we share a bond…we were each other’s both post divorce flings and it was a critical time for us both.,……it taught me much! That song by Estelle Thank You sums it up! I am glad we are friends…. We are better friends than lovers! ;)

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:32 am

meant “and I”

HST

February 10th, 2012
10:33 am

M, for me, I have residences in 3 states so I would say I’m at this one or that. I have multiple cars and garages so that made it easier as well. It was one of those better to avoid than tell the truth situations. That isn’t to mean that the respective ladies didn’t know I wasn’t dating others. I just didn’t want to put it in their faces and have them stew over it/why/blah,blah, blah. I do agree with “I want the whole day” from most women I’ve dated.

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
10:36 am

@HST ~ I have to take back my statement that I never had a relationship end badly. I was dating a Marta bus driver that didn’t end well. Mid 20’s, very hurt, couldn’t eat nor sleep much. He contacted me months later to apologize for how he ended things. I accepted it and that was the last I’ve seen or spoken with him.

Bluzgirl

February 10th, 2012
10:36 am

@HST…I only had one relationship end really badly…that’s because he was a psycho that was really, truly mean to me. Luckily, he lived in Seattle, so I didn’t have to worry about him coming to my house and getting psychotic in person. If he lived here, I have a feeling he would have gotten physical with me and the cops would have been involved, unless he killed me.

disco

February 10th, 2012
10:36 am

HST – I’m one of those that has a couple of exes as friends. one mentioned that he’d see if he’d be able to attend my son’s college graduation this spring. if he does show up, I’ll appreciate it and we’ll have a good time graduation weekend. I’m sure neither of us will attempt to make a bigger deal out of it than it is.

Mdot – I love a good he/she got busted on valentines day story….

Leggs

February 10th, 2012
10:38 am

@Lady ~ I didn’t have a divorce fling, but I stepped back one day when I walked into my closet and realized I went on a shoe shopping frenzy back then.

HST

February 10th, 2012
10:38 am

Lady that is how I met my 12 year love. We found solace in each other post-divorce. Even more weird is that we share the same views on relationships and etc. I do love her but time has taught me that love has many facets.

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:40 am

leggs POST divorce during the separation and making it LEGAL and FINAL stage! most take time for themselves but you know me! SMH!

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:41 am

yep HST! I feel ya!

HST

February 10th, 2012
10:44 am

Great responses ladies.

I feel that relationships end badly because one drags out the inevitable. I’d rather just be completely honest and leave on a good term. Moreover, as some of you stated it’s all about forgiveness or saying sorry when you’re wrong.

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:44 am

HST I met him @ a house party @ his house during the all star weekend thingy but anyway he was apart of my journey and as much as I wanted to never ever be his friend bc I thought I really wanted to be his wife lol I am glad we are friends! we would crumble as husband and wife and I know that to be a fact.com!

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 10th, 2012
10:45 am

@HST

I see what you are saying. They may say they are cool with you dating others until they see it, then all bets are off!

@Disco

It always happens like this.

@Guys

Have any of you ever have a woman just come around before valentines day because she doesn’t want to be the only girl out the crew with no plans/date?

Fion

February 10th, 2012
10:46 am

@M. (pronouced M dot)
“If you are or have dated multiple women in the past, how did you handle V-Day?’

I’ll answer your question with an analogy. Imagine the world is bubble gum and HARD D^cks. Some women have all the bubble gum they need.

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:46 am

Bluzgirl made my day!!!! Thanks sis! ;) #girlpower

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:47 am

Fion is a hot mess! restroom break on that one! I am dying laughing!!!!! SMH!!!!!

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
10:48 am

On topic – I am not “friends” with any of my exes(except 1) and that’s fine with me. Some ended badly, some didn’t, just never had that desire to remain in contact. I have enough real friends over the years I can call, female and male, so no need to backtrack to some dudes that were never real “friends” to begin with. The one I still consider a friend is one where we developed a strong friendship while dating. I respect him and his intelligence and I became close to his family. No hard feelings and he lives in another state and has been married near 15 years now.

I would have entirely TOO much pride to drag my tail back to one cause I’m lonely on Vday or any other holiday. Would not be that hard up! Like Leggs said, get a grip and get over it! It’s not that serious.

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 10th, 2012
10:52 am

@Fion

LOL exactly that’s why I think women have the capacity to cheat more than men. All they have to do is thrown on that outfit go where the guys are and just wait lol

HST

February 10th, 2012
10:52 am

M, that’s how its always worked for me…everytime.

Lady, I met my friend Super Bowl weekend 12 years ago. Funny part is, neither of us watch sports besides Sports Car Racing (not to be confused with NASCAR) but we met a Super Bowl party (we later confessed at how bored we were and didn’t want to be alone post-divorce no matter what the activity was). I bought her a R8 this year hoping she’ll stay in the US. Not that I’d marry her but I’d certainly give any other girl up for her to be monogamous. I think on deep level we could spend our days till the end that way.

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
10:53 am

Ummmm, okay then…just wow

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
10:54 am

I don’t really see the benefit of talking and remaining eternally monogamous.

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
10:55 am

Have any of you ever have a woman just come around before valentines day because she doesn’t want to be the only girl out the crew with no plans/date?

M Dot – That is absolutely pathetic! SMH Never, never, never, yeah I’m saying it!!!

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
10:55 am

Most women, NOT ALL, have a goal of marriage so teaching how to be good at an unsealed relationship seems futile.

Maybe I’m being the contrarian. Shrugs

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:55 am

Look @ you HST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HST

February 10th, 2012
10:58 am

M, I find more women hit on me the older I get. From your comment I can only assume you’re in your 20s. Your perspective will change as you approach 40 if you’re still single. Women love an accomplished man without behavioral problems. I get patronized constantly by women…I wonder sometimes if it’s payback for my behavior to women earlier in life.

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
10:59 am

correct C that is why he lose me sometimes! HST sounds so charming but I would want the ring and paper work! lol

Bluzgirl

February 10th, 2012
10:59 am

@Lady…I’m glad I made someone’s day! It helps me to know that! :-)

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
10:59 am

And for all the “what do you do for Vday” questions posed by the men, VD is handled like any other day. Not a pass for reverting, digressing, slipping, ooopsing…just a regular day.

My kid might think it’s right up there behind Christmas but really not so much.

HST

February 10th, 2012
11:00 am

Celisea, is this because of your beliefs/religion? Could you elaborate?

SlimNu

February 10th, 2012
11:00 am

Mdot – The fact that Vday is during the week, it actually works out for a playa playa because it gives them the weekend before to get some chicks out the way, the actual day Tuesday, then the weekend afterwards.

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
11:01 am

Indeed Bluzgirl! There’s hope always! ;)

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
11:02 am

C i am ready for the VDay to pass real talk LOL but laughing @ the rhetoric! LOL

HST

February 10th, 2012
11:03 am

“correct C that is why he lose me sometimes! HST sounds so charming but I would want the ring and paper work! lol” what if we both just didn’t believe in the the ideology behind marriage and religion? Doesn’t mean we don’t believe in love, I think we just have our own ideals…

kimmie - the original :)

February 10th, 2012
11:03 am

That reminds me of Grey’s Anatomy last night. This lady came in the emergency room with her bf of 8 years that had been in an accident. She was mad because every V day she would expect a ring and he never gave her one. Towards the end of the show, when she realized his life was in danger, she said she didn’t care if they got married, she just didn’t want to live life without him. He ended up dying. When the dr was putting his personal items in a bag, she ran across the heart-shaped locket he had given his girlfriend that she threw back in his face. Yep, inside it said Will You Marry Me? :(

I don’t know. The older I’ve gotten, the more accepting I get of other people and their different points of view. Marriage is really not for everyone, but that doesn’t mean 2 people can’t have a committed relationship that works for THEM, THEIR WAY. As long as both are getting what they want and are happy, I’m happy for them. Live and let live.

Celisea

February 10th, 2012
11:04 am

Sorry HST – Not doing the long drawn out whys and why nots today. Nothing personal

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
11:04 am

I hear you sir!

HST

February 10th, 2012
11:05 am

Kimmie, well said!

Lady~

February 10th, 2012
11:05 am

LOL @ C!!!!!!!!!!!

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 10th, 2012
11:05 am

@Kimmie

LOL that has happened before. Some women may send out a mass text to some guy’s like hey what you up tonight and see what response they get lol.

I had a woman hit me up a few days before Vday one year and was like so what you got planned for us for Vday? She wasnt joking lol!!!

@SlimNu

Yeah it does help that its on a weekday but unless you have the day off you only have afterwork to go out with who you are going out with. You cant make plans with some woman @ 930pm on Vday…that will get you deleted for sure lol

So the player has to make a decision, who am I going out with and who am I ok with being upset with me lol

disco

February 10th, 2012
11:05 am

Mdot – re women’s capacity to cheat. I think you might mean ability to cheat or opportunity to cheat. it’s been my experience that most (not all of course) women don’t want to cheat. most women want to be stuck on one guy. most women tend to dedicate themselves to a guy. most women want to be that faithful, stand by your man kind of woman.

HST

February 10th, 2012
11:08 am

M, a real player would go under the radar to the other woman. Play-on…