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Lingerie a risky gift?

That so called “romantic holiday” that is less than a week away has some people all in a tizzy. When you are in the “casual dating” stage, things may be a little confusing on which way to go. What do you do when you aren’t exclusive, but definitely more than just friends, and headed toward romance?

One reader wants to know if he should purchase lingerie for a woman he has feelings for and wants to let her know. I don’t think lingerie is a good gift idea for someone you are just dating. It can be a risky option since it sort of screams “I want to see you in it for about 30 seconds” – which may be the point, but is it the right time?

Are their certain gifts that you should definitely steer clear from just to be safe?

Have you ever given or received lingerie or sexy items as a gift from someone you were seeing? How did you/they react?

What is the sexiest thing someone has ever given you?

A guy once gave me a porn video. Seriously, he literally gift wrapped the thing! I’m no prude (by any stretch of the imagination) but that did not win me over.

Here is a tip for you: Never give porn to someone you actually want to impress. You’re welcome.

362 comments Add your comment

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Lily

February 9th, 2012
7:00 am

This is telltale sign. Unless you are absolutely certain, never do it. The alway say when deciding, say whether or not you should wear a certain outfit or item of clothing to work. If you are unsure then don’t. I think the same rule of thumb can be applied here.

Unless two people have decided on exclusivity, then no I don’t a man shouldn’t shop lingerie. It may send the wrong message. Especially if you have not been intimate.

Lily

February 9th, 2012
7:07 am

I was actually saying a man shouldn’t shop for women’s lingerie

Mr Miss

February 9th, 2012
7:22 am

I love shopping for my naughties and intimates. The very best gift I ever bought myself was a tie die tube sock, we’ve had so much fun. And even when wet and sticky, the colors never run.

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
7:38 am

The biggest RISK in lingerie is getting some with straps, snaps or buckles that are hard for the dude to unfasten.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
7:54 am

Good Morning! ;)

This guy told me recently many women have gotten away from wear matching underwear sets and that’s one thing he likes consistently. My response was as long as you contributing financially to your mate I am sure your want will be met. 0_o LOL!

I only received lingerie from ex hubby…….I’ve received gift cards to B&BW and VS but that is about it. I am really not into lingerie……..shrugs! LOL

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:04 am

BTW…

Ladies who wear LANE BRYANT “unmentionables” absolutely ROCK!!

Yum-Me !!!!!!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:06 am

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:09 am

Mr O I am laughing bc the dude I am referencing said he like Lane Bryant also

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:10 am

Hey, Lady~.

If a man is every going to be truly happy & content, he needs to be honest about what revs his motor.

I don’t any toothpick, twig-like legs wrapped around my behind.

Give me some CURVES!!!!!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:11 am

I hear you sir! :)

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:13 am

Fat, Obese Chicks? Uh, NO.

LANE BRYANT Ladies?

You suddenly have Mr. Obvious Wobbly Finger standing at attention.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:16 am

Mr O! Stop LOL! Flag on the play too damn early but I hear you! I am curvy and I am just not a shopper so I haven’t been there in a while. Maybe I need to swing by and see the latest and greatest! 0_0! ;)

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:19 am

Oh, Really…?

So, tell me, Lady~…

I know you mentioned you don’t particularly care about lingerie, but maybe that is because you haven’t had the chance to wear it for someone TRULY appreciative of your form.

Is there anything I could possibly get that Y♥U might like from LB for Valentine’s Day?

♥ ♥ ♥

(You’ve suddenly made it quite difficult to concentrate on work. Ergo, perhaps I could go shopping.)

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:22 am

Mr O! #speechless! wow!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:24 am

but seriously I am good! Valentines Day isn’t an open invitation as good as it sounds lol

Foxy

February 9th, 2012
8:29 am

Foxy thinks a gift card to the saucey store of her choice is always the right color and the right size! <3 :)

GM Kids!

killerj

February 9th, 2012
8:32 am

Your kidding me right?

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:34 am

The Gift That Keeps On Giving!

As good as it looks on the rack, it looks EVEN BETTER on the floor!

LOL

killerj

February 9th, 2012
8:37 am

Some of you need serious therapy

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:49 am

killerj,

If you honestly prefer a “FLATTY” behind on a girl that resembles a 12-year-old male instead of a curved & “fatty” one like a grown, mature woman has, perhaps you are the one in need of “serious therapy.”

Does that “j” in your “killerj” moniker stand for Jerry, Coach Sandusky?

Roberta

February 9th, 2012
8:56 am

So, one of your readers “has feelings” for someone and wants to buy lingerie for this person so she’ll know how he feels about her? Wow. No wonder you people are in your 30s and 40s and still single.

"ISO" Joe

February 9th, 2012
8:56 am

This is not as simple as yes or no….. If you go the Fredricks route and buy something with no crotch and the nipples cut out, then yeah…you might be crossing the line… but a nice, sexy shorty gown and robe set is a nice bridge between that and some stale ass Russell Stover candy….

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO (drumrolle please).....

February 9th, 2012
8:58 am

The nominees for craziest blogger on a blog

Optimus Prime “the second” – Not the original but the one yesterday married 11 years resembling Mr. Optimus Prime the original. The original blogged as status: “in a relationship” Twice divorce. Six years first marriage 7 years the second marriage. No 11 year run in there anywhere (lol)

Our next nominee is Robert – Mr. “R” blew his chance with Oprah at the ripe age of 7, was a month ago on the hunt for blog love and just as recent as yesterday admitted to finding it seductive watching his lady get undressed

Another great nominee is/are “The Racist(s)” – Can’t leave him/them out. We have been presented with such a presence during their stint in looking for a home. That’s usually seasonal though. Shhhhhh (whispering) He/they’re really just looking for a blog to wreak havoc

Last but certainly not least Mr. Multiple Personality – This gentlement comes with many faces and can harmoniosly become many person all at the click of changing monikers: Mr. BooHoo cry me a river because she found another, Ho-nan the wh@re hunter, Larry the low-hanging-fruit picker, Lucius looking for loose women

HONORABLE MENTION TO THE CRAZIES SHOWING UP HERE OF LATE. THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH PERFORMANCES TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS CATEGORY. Stand by, I’m sure we’ll see a lot more in the near future.

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
9:14 am

Good morning,

Can’t say I’ve ever received lingerie from someone I was dating. Anything sexy i’ve owned was purchased by ME

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:21 am

Morning All!

Slim, same with me. The closest I ever got to it was a VS gift card.

Curious George

February 9th, 2012
9:22 am

Perhaps even riskier than basic lingerie itself…

Combining both the tasty Valentine delicacy of chocolate/candy with the luxurious feel on lingerie, how do women feel today about receiving (or giving) EDIBLE Lingeries & Undies?

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
9:24 am

Morning,

I have but while living with someone. That sort of feels like it doesn’t count…lol

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:27 am

Oh, and when in doubt, don’t. Stick to the flowers/card/candy/dinner route. Or, if you know of something “safe” that she likes. Me & hubs had been dating about 4 months when Vday rolled around. He loves Kona coffee and it can be a little pricey. I got him $20 worth of Kona beans and put them in a gift bag along with a red mug filled with Dove chocolates. He was quite pleased!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
9:29 am

I am treating myself to the norm Kimmie….salon time, nice dinner somewhere, wine my happy hour, and anything else I wanna do……starts today lol well really last night. Finally saw Red Tails and enjoyed that!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
9:31 am

Just dating? I don’t want lingerie. I don’t think it’s appropriate. There are many thoughtful ideas and gifts one can buy without taking it to the lingerie. I don’t think VD is the official day, gauge or threshold for sex. I know sex comes to mind but really there’s a plethora of things you can do and buy sans lingerie.

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:33 am

Lady – Sounds nice!!

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
9:33 am

kimmie – For whatever reason, I think most men may feel a little awkward going to a spot like that trying to pick out something they think their lady would like to wear, feel comfy in, and not think it’s too raunchy. JUST CAN’T HANDLE THE PRESSURE! lol I like to stay in the Sexy-but-still-leaving-something-to-the-imagination type pieces. I would not want to jump out into the lane of TRASHY

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:49 am

Slim – I agree, that would be a lot of pressure for a guy!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
9:50 am

WOW! Mr. Obvious and Lady, back that thang up and get a room (LOLOL).

Welcome all the newbies.

Lingerie to someone you’re newly dating doesn’t sound like a practical gift. It’s like leading with your d….

Good morning. Back on my couch wrapped in a nice warm blanket with a hot cup of tea.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
9:51 am

I would think buying lingerie is not a true expression of love and that it’s shallow. Then again, I really don’t go overboard for Valentine’s Day, I may get her some flowers but that is the norm whenever I get the feeling. This Valentine’s day I planned on doing something for the wife and the kid, but speaking with my brothers and father we are going to just take all of our households out to dinner as a family and give the ladies roses and nieces bracelets and the nephews watches. I am fine with that. But back to the point lingerie seems sexual in nature and that is not the point of that date….also a woman’s lingerie should always be on point…she doesn’t or shouldn’t need help from her man in that area…she should already have sexy stuff for herself and those two or three sets that drive her man wild should be in the back of the drawer.

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:52 am

Spa gift cards are nice, a nice-but-inexpensive piece of jewelry, like a silver pendant or charm bracelet, Bath & Bodyworks smell-goods – all good but safe gifts.

disco

February 9th, 2012
9:55 am

hey y’all. good morning. I don’t have a problem with lingerie as a gift. if it is inappropriate I reserve the right to clown the person. a couple of years ago the most recent ex called himself buying me something from VS. it was a joke. something pink and orange with the little VS dog on it (can you say childish?). the saving grace was that he put money in the bag with the whack A underwear (that was usually his saving grace because he was an awful gift giver – this is the guy who gave me the steve Harvey book with money tucked inside the cover of the book).

I won’t lie. there have been times when I’ve been shopping and there was some bad A lingerie in the window. I didn’t have a problem letting it be known that I’d wear something like that. king street in Charleston comes to mind. there’s a window display at a store down there that catches my attention every single time.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
9:55 am

Slim, I love going into those stores. She has me pick stuf out for her and plus I get to see all of the other good looking women in there shop for theirs. LOL

Ladies, what are you getting the man/men in your life for Valentines Day?

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
9:56 am

Leggs – It’s okay to admit you have a Snuggie, I won’t make fun of you. j/k Feel Better ;-)

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
9:57 am

Purp – You don’t use the, could you let me see you in this because you’re close to my wife’s size, gimmick do ya?

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
9:57 am

Leggs dead on delivery! ha! know post that link! ;)

Purple

February 9th, 2012
9:58 am

Anyone ever received granny panties as a gift?

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
9:58 am

Slim I have a snuggie and it itches like hell lol prefer my robe! lol

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
9:59 am

Purp I brought them with my gift card! I like everyday panties no apologies either LOL my ex hubby was like OK but I said they came from VS so they are fashionable! 0_o lol

Purple

February 9th, 2012
9:59 am

Slim no I look strange the times when I have shopped in there by myself. I know exactly how her breast and ass fit in my hands so I just hold the bra or panties up to my hand to see how they fit. I have been spot on everytime!

Purple

February 9th, 2012
10:02 am

I really don’t think fat women should wear thongs or boy short panties. I think that is on the democratic ticket this year.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
10:07 am

different strokes for different folks………..

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
10:14 am

Purp – Well now I can see how that would make folks look at you strange, holding up bra’s all while cupping them with your hands to size it right. I would think you had some weird bra & panty fetish. lol Nope, never received granny panties as a gift from a guy. However, mom was notorius for giving Hanes Her Way as Christmas gifts, along with socks and t-shirts. Thanks ma ;-)

Lady – I can’t stand itchy clothes!

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
10:15 am

If u want the chic romance wise/sexually,go for it.

If dude plays safe,no matter how nice or gentlemanly u end up being lame if u too safe. Friend zone hello!

Dudes with ummpf take risks. The downside of not shooting to win is other guys might take ur place. This game is for offensive minded players.

Play defense after you have put some points on the board or won!

Howdie folks!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
10:19 am

@SlimNu ~ too funny. I’m cozied up in a zebra print snuggie. Yes ma’am.

Please, please vote again for my child’s essay…www.wyzant.com/scholarship/v2/Essay39569-Ellenwood-GA.aspx

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
10:27 am

bad link leggs

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
10:27 am

try it again

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
10:30 am

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
10:31 am

yes now I am bout to computer hop and vote for lil leggs! Ia m still laughing @ you from yesterday evening! too funny!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
10:31 am

@Purple ~ If I was in VS and saw you cupping bras and sizing up panties, I’d probably sneak and take a picture of you (lol)…j/k

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
10:33 am

@Lady, when I read your post, I stared at it thinking “damn, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.” :wink:

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
10:34 am

yeah, yeah, yeah, computer hop (lol)…”by any means necessary!!!”

Fion

February 9th, 2012
10:34 am

I’ve heard of wishful thinking, but giving lingerie to a chick you ain’t banging is a stretch at best. After all once you’ve had your face to face interview, you know if you got the job.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
10:41 am

ok I did a few more later Ms Leggs! ;)

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
10:42 am

chuckle Fion!

Purple

February 9th, 2012
10:52 am

Now that I think about it, a guy could really offend a women by buying her lingerie. What if he buys something to big or to small?

Purple

February 9th, 2012
10:55 am

Leggs, I probably look like a pervert doing that.

Who in their right mind would gift wrap a porno and give it as a gift?

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
10:57 am

Purple – That’s why it’s a risky gift if you are not really in tune with her yet, know what her taste is and an idea of her size. If you have been intimate, you’ll at least have a better guess at the size or you could peek at the size of the stuff she takes off. If you all haven’t gone there, it’s rushing things.

disco

February 9th, 2012
10:59 am

speaking of big girls – am I the only one that is sick of the term “curvy”. I think some chicks are getting carried away using this as a descriptor. some of them are way past curvy. I’m thinking we ought to throw “lumpy” in the mix. and that’s not all about being mean. when I think curvy I think figure 8, I think hourglass, I think a few extra pounds in the right places. the word is developing into a new pet peeve for me.

purple – many many years ago I gifted some jake steed videos. (I think dude’s name was jake steed).

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
11:00 am

Kimmie I am thinking skip the lingerie if the relationship has been establish and buy a nice satin sheet set………..its many other vices out there that’s subtle yet sexy……….shrugs! lol

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
11:01 am

hmmmm well disco I am a 16 all day call it what you want sis lol

HST

February 9th, 2012
11:01 am

Wow at the responses in this blog. I think the ladies out here said it right. No way am I going to buy a girl I’m dating lingerie. Tiffany charms are welcomed by most women in a new dating scenario. That’s my go to if I don’t really know her that well but want that to change.

Last time I went to VS to buy a GF items, I felt like the employees were flipping through the sex offender database seeing if I was on the site. Other times a cute woman helps and you find yourself playing with her…I just skip that and let my GFs handle their underwear.

HST

February 9th, 2012
11:02 am

Disco…agreed.

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
11:04 am

I would not like to receive lingerie if we are just dating…I need to try on lingerie to see how it looks on my before I just wear it in front of anyone. I would prefer to maybe go shopping together to pick something out after we’ve established a relationship.

P.S. I’m changing my name to Bluzgirl since Kellibean was his nickname for me…

HST

February 9th, 2012
11:04 am

Ladies, what is an acceptable amount on a gift before it becomes too much?

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
11:06 am

Bluzgirl LOL I remember when I dropped J after Lady for that same reason….lol til this day that dude still calls me J smh LOL

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
11:08 am

“She has me pick stuf out for her and plus I get to see all of the other good looking women in there shop for theirs. LOL”

Purple — I was in VS with Mrs. Swiss a while back & I kinda put my foot in my mouth. We were browsing through one of those big tables of panties & there was this other couple looking through the same table. The other chick was looking at this pair of Atlanta Falcons panties & joked to her dude that those could be for the half time show. She put them back down & as we circled around to that side of the table, I picked them up out of curiosity, only to realize, “GOT D@MN, them draws are HUGE” — which I accidentally blurted out loud enough for the other chick to hear. :oops: :lol:

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
11:14 am

Hip Hop Gods Tour
Featuring: Public Enemy, MC Lyte, EPMD, Kool Moe D, & Black Sheep
VENUE: Atlanta Civic Center
DATE: Saturday, April 7th
TIME: 7PM
COST: $45 – $74

Presale starts tomorrow, Friday, February 10th @ 10AM and ends at midnight on Sunday, February 12th. Tickets go on sale to the general public on Monday, 2/13 @ 10AM.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
11:18 am

Sorry, you’re blu, KB. Stay strong and stay true to yourself. As long as you know you’re doing the right thing, you will be fine in time.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
11:20 am

BTW, if you keep the name Bluzgirl, you’re only feeding into a slow emotional recovery. How about finding a different moniker???

disco

February 9th, 2012
11:20 am

lady – a 16 can work. I’m really perturbed by these chicks that weigh so much that they only wear sneakers and flip flops to work. mind you those are direct dress code violations but no one says anything because there seems to be some sort of unspoken understanding about overweight folks and their available footwear. if you have to wear sneakers because shoes won’t support your weight – you are something other than curvy. I’ve got a few more “you know you aren’t curvy whens” but I’ll stop because I suppose at some point it could get offensive.

swiss – that was funny.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
11:21 am

you are right sis and I know those women lol

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
11:21 am

Thanks for the laugh, swiss! Now I’m having a coughing fit.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
11:22 am

shm @ leggs lol

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
11:25 am

Leggs?

Women u are so funny!

you saying stay strong as if she lost a relative thru death? Not even a husband?

a mere boyfriend?

Are u serous? :lol:

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
11:31 am

I’m actually Bluzgirl because I’m into the Atlanta blues scene…a lot of people know me by that name…nothing to do with the sadness, even though I’m feeling blue these days. But…I’m keeping strong…not letting him see me cry. I know it will be hard for a while, but I’ll pick up the pieces and move on. One thing helping me is a book called “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.” Written by the same people who wrote “He’s Just Not That Into You.” It’s a funny, yet helpful break up guide! It helped me through a previous breakup and is helping me through this one…Thanks!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
11:33 am

That is why I shook my head Blu lol Blue is my favorite color all shades that is and I was like her name is cool! LOL

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
11:37 am

@Ex ~ yes, I’m serious. When a person is in pain, due to the “death” of a relationship, they need to stay strong to their convictions as to why they let the relationship die!!!!

.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
11:37 am

Leggs, LOL

kimmie, exactly

Swiss, that was funny. There are usually some fine women in those stores.

disco, I am agreeing with you on the chubbies.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
11:38 am

Gotcha on the meaning of Bluzgirl.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
11:49 am

Why or why am I on a conference call with a “live meeting” and the woman is doing the presentation and it’s MUTED???? We are dying laughing. She’s got her messenger on do not disturb so we can’t get her attention….

This is waaaay too funny.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
11:51 am

Even my manager is laughing…she’s doing her pointer and all…just gone to town and all for nothing. We can’t hear a dern thing.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
11:51 am

She’s up to slide 12 of 38

disco

February 9th, 2012
11:52 am

aww man. that is funny celisea. she’s going to be so embarrassed. I hope this presentation isn’t “important” or she’s gonna get it….

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
11:53 am

disco – You know we were all trying to be polically correct and nice and then somebody burst out laughing.

She’s gone to town too. Collateralized and Noncollaterlized…I’d say it’s important.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
11:54 am

Nooooow, she’s got the message and just unmuted. Bet she said “I’ll stop here for questions” and she got crickets.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
11:55 am

Ha…she said it. She said she stopped for questions…ha ha ha….

Slides 13 – 22 was muted…ha ha ha

Okay that’s my laugh for the day.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
11:56 am

Is is just me or can anyone else see the salmon colored shoe to the right of the screen? LOOOOVE them.

disco

February 9th, 2012
11:58 am

so… is she going to start all over? and no, i don’t see any shoe.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
11:59 am

Stop here for questions….that is hysterical. Question should be “can you start from the beginning cuz we ain’t heard squat.” :lol: :lol: :lol:

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
11:59 am

She’s trying to do a quick rollback. You don’t the shoe? Wait. I don’t either now. It’s advertising so the pictures are changing. Watch for it. It’s hawt

Okay this is gonna be a TMI….I suuuure hope Aunt Flow ain’t here VD. I got a feeling she’s gonna show up the day before or of. Great

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:00 pm

Leggs – LOL…I’m done listening…seriously. I’m back to blogging. I’m gonna ask if I can get a copy of the deck once she’s done.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:00 pm

@Celisea ~ you on those hallucinogens again (lol)?

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:01 pm

Leggs – LOL…..noooo, not today anyway. I KID I KID

Okay, the AI is now being advertised.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:02 pm

Nobody sees the shoes but Celisea. I saw her popping a pill in the bathroom. Thought it was an aspirin, but now I know. Probably a Black Beauty (lolololol).

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:03 pm

Hey, I’m crazy anyway. As you hit refresh, the advertisment changes.

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
12:04 pm

Leggs?

u don’t want a relationship any more

u got All the right reasons why u should break up

But u cry…that’s confusing..

Ok dudes?? Any of u here cry?

All else I will Roland Martin u.. :lol:

Dude: my chic slept with another dude..she cheated on me..we have to break up

Dude: (sobbing) Ho Ho Ho…she cheated..she has to go Ho Ho Ho

That makes sense?

I don’t get it!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:05 pm

@Ex ~ what’s wrong with crying over a relationship. Dude, you sure talk a lot of smack on this blog.

disco

February 9th, 2012
12:05 pm

ex – did you have the same pill celisea had? y’all got any more?

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:06 pm

disco – Sorry no pill, I was born with this condition…lol

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
12:10 pm

Leggs?

nothing wrong with crying over a relationship U want…

Crying over something u Don’t want is ummm,blah

Yea…my throat!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:11 pm

Damn the guy on Maury is fine as hell….he jut found out he’s not the father and is so heartbroken.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:13 pm

I’m crying right along with this brother…he’s been there from the beginning, cut the umbilical cord and all. Now 15 months later he finds out he’s not that baby’s father.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
12:13 pm

Nothing wrong with a woman crying over a relationship there is something wrong with others feeding into her pain though.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:14 pm

@Ex ~ you said it. She wants the relationship, but realizes it’s not a healthy one so she has to book…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:15 pm

Especially strangers, right Purple (lol).

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
12:16 pm

Celisea — I empathize with the presentation lady. At my last job, I was doing a 2-day technical training course via web conference for Purdue University. Normally, I would use GoToMeeting for these remote sessions, but it has a limit of 25 seats, and this session was going to have over 100 attendees, so I had to use GoToWebinar, which I had never used before, and which, as I learned the hard way, has some quirks around the “start webinar” and “display screen” options. Long story short, I went through the entire first hour of the course with nothing but my audio — no one could see anything I was doing. :lol: Ooops…

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
12:16 pm

now that sucks Leggs!

she’s a beeyotch!

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
12:17 pm

If you don’t let the tears out, then you just bottle it up and may explode! It’s heartbreaking to be broken up with or to be the one to do the break up…it was two years and I’m having to let go of my best friend and companion. Of course I will be sad, even though I’m the one who made the decision…

Jeez Ex…get a life and quit belittling me…I’m sure you’re quite a prize!!!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:18 pm

Swiss – I’m am laughing…not at you but the experience. You are right. We’re hanging in here. I think some of the problem though, as we just realized, is she’s home. Not sure if all she needs to fully function is accessible.

How do we know she’s at home? A DOG JUST STARTING BARKING..lol Okay it’s not funny but it is. She’s talking over the dog as if it’s not there.

I understand though. Sometimes leading these type seminars won’t always go smoothly.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:19 pm

Okay…I’m so messing everything up…guess I shouldn’t laugh.

I am laughing

disco

February 9th, 2012
12:19 pm

I don’t know KB – don’t jump all on ex for posting his opinion re your situation. that’s what happens when you put your business out there like that. is it wrong to cry? no. is it wrong to whine and mope all up on the blog? not necessarily. just be prepared to get what you get. such is life.

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
12:20 pm

At that point Leggs,when u figure,Ohh,this is hot,dangerous,unpalatable etc,All desire must desist and u sequestrate urself from and desensitize All feelings towards target.
Let go :arrow:

No need for crying over poisoned stuff

I don’t get it.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:25 pm

@Ex ~ why you calling her that….that is not cool, dude!

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
12:25 pm

Disco…do you not agree that he’s being a jerk about it? I mean, I just did the breaking up on Monday night and it’s nice to be able to talk about it to strangers. I understand that people are entitled to their opinions, but people don’t have to be so mean and rude. Give a girl a break. Maybe I just shouldn’t come on this blog anymore…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:26 pm

@swiss ~ that sucks….

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:28 pm

I would be laughing too, Celisea, especially once I heard the dog bark.

disco

February 9th, 2012
12:28 pm

nobody’s chasing you off. still, you are a big girl. gotta take the good with the bad. some folks will be all nice and supportive and some folks will be out to cut you down. again, such is life. deal with it. if you aren’t feeling ex then say to yourself “later for ex” and ignore his comments.

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
12:30 pm

Leggs – Maury is just like House, the same show just different set of characters. lol

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
12:31 pm

Bluz?

Iam Not belittling u nor am I a ‘prize’,except to Queen.

But I make decisions very quickly and decisively

No second guessing Myself

The world is full of wonderful men,for u and (women), for me :lol:

Now that’s comforting,in case u moving slow

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:31 pm

@BG ~ stay on the blog, just ignore him.

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
12:32 pm

Celisea — Yeah, for me that day it was a Perfect Storm of Epic Fail. :lol: So, apparently, with GoToWebinar if you hit “show screen” first and then his “start webinar” it automatically turns off the “show screen” option. You have to hit “start webinar” first then hit “show screen.” Go figure. Also, in the webinar interface, since there are typically more people on the call, everyone except the presenter is muted, so they couldn’t tell me verbally that they didn’t see my screen. There is a “chat” window, which I was accustomed to from the meeting interface, but no one was saying anything there. There is also a “questions” area, unique to the webinar interface so I had never seen it before, which as luck would have it, was collapsed by default. Oh, and there are no pop-ups or audible notifications when folks are asking questions in that section, so if it is not expanded, you just don’t see anything. And, finally, my phone was charging in the other room, so it wasn’t until I stopped for the first break that I checked it & realized that my office had been blowing up my phone trying to tell me that no one could see my screen. :lol: Oh well… I got back online, cracked a few jokes at my expense & went back over what they had missed from the first hour & everything was fine. But that was embarrassing as heyal, I can tell you that… :lol:

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
12:33 pm

I know I gotta take the bad with the good, but jeez…I’m feeling down and out and a little vulnerable and it sucks when someone is trying to make it their goal to tear you down. It’s a shame how some people are and it’s too easy to hide behind the computer screen. I wish there was a way to just hide someone so that you don’t see their comments…

Purple

February 9th, 2012
12:33 pm

Bluzgirl, sorry for you breakup. It always serves better to hurt in private for me. Because I know me better than anyone and I don’t like random people in my business. That happens when you share on social media so you have to be tough enough to deal with whatever response you get here. No need to runaway since you put it out there. You have to deal with it now. I notice you said you lost your best friend. If he was your best friend then it is not over because true friends may argue but they never part. Maybe you thought he was your best friend and wasn’t.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:33 pm

@SlimNu ~ yep. Same game, different players.

Great been waiting for noon to put likka in my tea.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
12:34 pm

Bluzgirl, how vulnerable are you right now? Just asking? LOL

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
12:35 pm

The b comment was for the lady getting child support from dude who’s not the father

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
12:36 pm

Well…he’s been my best friend for the past 2 years, but I can’t have that now…at least not for a long time. I hope down the line, when I get over the feelings and heal, that he and I can be friends again. I have to let go of all of him in order to heal…

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
12:37 pm

@Purple…not that vulnerable!!! LOL

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:38 pm

@Bluz ~ there’s a blogger by the name of ITL. She was somewhat thin skinned when she first came to the blog. I told her she had to toughen up to deal with the comments on this blog…you have to do the same. You will have some in your corner, and some in the peanut gallery throwing stones at you. That’s how it works. You have to toughen up and not mind what advice you’re given here…good or bad. Only you can decide what you need to do..not us.

disco

February 9th, 2012
12:38 pm

purple – funny re “how vulnerable are you”.

kb – good luck is all I really have to say. hopefully in your real life (as opposed to your blog life) you have folks in your corner. if so, lean on them. if not, you might have more pressing issues than a breakup. j/k but still kind of serious. still, there’s some that comfort with kind words and all that. personally, I’m not one of them. my friends know I’m the “what are you going to do about it” friend. do all that crying and moping on your own time.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:39 pm

Swiss – That’s how it works when we have large conferences. It’s usually everyone is muted but the presenters or speakers. But I feel you. I think most though just tend to naturally understand that there will always be mishaps and difficulties when dealing with technology. One thing about it, once you experience it and learn what to do or NOT to the the next time you should be pretty good.

Kellibean – I agree with disco. You’ve been coming here a minute and really what else can be told. I’d rather take anyday, someone taking a hardline but telling me the truth over someone that’s telling me what I want to hear and it causes me to keep eating the poison.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:42 pm

Kellibean – If it’s any consolation to you, MMeello is not partial to who he jumps at.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:44 pm

Oh, Ex. Gotcha…

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
12:46 pm

Celisea,if my daughter comes to her mum saying stuff like ,’Iam dumping him coz he cheats on me etc but I luv him’ crap she’s not getting respite..from me,trust.

Good is good bad is bad

Make a choice and move

singlelongtime

February 9th, 2012
12:46 pm

Bluzgirl – I can totally understand how you feel. i was with a guy almost 2 years and we just broke up about 4 months ago. I miss what I thought we had. At first everything reminded me of him and it was like a punch in the stomach. But as time goes by it does get better, or at least less bad. I still think of him a lot but don’t get that gut punch feeling anymore. Just give youself some time. I have found that keeping occupied helps a lot. Hang in there.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:49 pm

MMeelo – You know I’m agreeing. It’s okay to hurt as that’s just sometimes the outcome of relationships. Once you have it though and it out there in the open, what else do you need people to tell you? Make a choice…deal with it and stay or let it go. Don’t stay there, feet glued to the floor and continue to say, I want to go.

disco

February 9th, 2012
12:52 pm

these situations always make me think of Lackawanna blues when chick said “sometimes a man and a woman have an understanding that nobody else understands”

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
12:54 pm

singlelongtime…Thanks! I realize it can only get better, but I will allow myself to be sad for a while. The hardest part will be telling friends because we are a pretty public couple in the Atlanta blues scene and we have a TON of mutual friends. There will be constant reminders. I’m doing my best with keeping occupied…have a lot to do over the next week that will keep me busy and around my good friends. I’ll have a lot of support, which I am thankful for.

I know I really should take some things on the blog as a grain of salt, but I guess it can be hard to handle some comments. My skin will thicken once I get through all this. I am thankful for the people willing to help through this time. Sometimes, it can help talking to strangers because you don’t want to lean too much on your friends.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:55 pm

@disco ~ I can see S. Epethea (sp?) saying that line. They definitely had an “understanding.” Love that movie!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
12:56 pm

@Bluz ~ the hardest part doesn’t have to be “telling” your friends. They already know.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
12:56 pm

That was a good movie.

Willie Dynamite

February 9th, 2012
12:59 pm

Afternoon All,

On Topic – I am personally not too imprssed with Lingerie. If old boy hasn’t sealed the deal then whats the point. That is a keep her happy item not a wanna get her item

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
1:00 pm

12:52 is 100% true Disco!

That’s why u can never understand two folks’ relationship.
it’s unique to them

It’s funny u say that coz my wife and I share secrets that none in our two families know of

That’s sweet!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
1:02 pm

That’s why u can never understand two folks’ relationship.
it’s unique to them<<<<<<Love that Ex!

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
1:03 pm

@Leggs…true…my true friends do know…I guess it’s just going to be hard for a while because people will be asking me where he is when I’m out without him (like they always do). I promised I wouldn’t bash him and I will stick to that. I’m just kind of slowly telling people about it. I’ll be at an event on Sunday that will have a ton of our mutual friends and it will be hard to have to tell everyone separately. Maybe I should just get on the stage and make the announcement! LOL!!!

I could always make an announcement on Facebook, but I don’t want to because I don’t want to deal with the messages, texts, phone calls. I’ll talk to people when I’m ready…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
1:03 pm

I’m not saying this because I’m single, but V-day is not what it’s cracked up to be. Too commercialized. Sure, nice to get a gift or taken to dinner on that day, but if he hasn’t been showing love to me prior to this special day, pls don’t mask the problems by showing up on that one day!

And, never understood why the price of roses are so inflated and numskulls by those expensive flowers only to be put in the garbage a week or two later. Hell, give me the money in a card and let me buy something that will last.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
1:05 pm

I feel fat today :(

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
1:05 pm

Okay…that was random

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
1:07 pm

@Bluz ~ childish to announce breakups on FB. Also, you don’t need to tell people separately. Tell one, that person who can’t hold water. It will spread like wild fire.

Willie Dynamite

February 9th, 2012
1:08 pm

Leggs – You are just saying that cause you single. j/k j/k j/k

Cel – whats fat? thick, curvy or oh my dayum?

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
1:11 pm

U can choose Not to focus on those tons of friends and focus on U!
U U U U is of paramount importance than those so called friends who proly speak behind ur back anyway

Toughen up!

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
1:12 pm

Feel fat? Cel?

Where? :lol:

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
1:14 pm

I’m getting tougher every day…I think I’ll be even tougher after he is out of the house and the healing process can really, truly begin!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
1:14 pm

@Celisea ~ there’s nothing about you fat!!!

@WillieD ~ point is if you’re not showing me love and attention already, don’t do it on Vday.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
1:15 pm

he has 30 days by law to leave is that bout up or is he leaving straight up quickly?!?

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
1:18 pm

In this case, C may mean “Bloated”…it be’s like that some times

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
1:22 pm

@Bluz ~ curious, how long have the two of you been living together?

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
1:23 pm

He’s leaving this weekend…we both know that 30 days wouldn’t be a good idea. He has places to go. I don’t really know if the law would hold up if he did try to challenge it because there is no lease, no rent, no legal address change for him. He wouldn’t challenge it anyways. There is no reason to prolong it. If he really needed a few more days or another week, we could probably work it out.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
1:24 pm

cool beans chica! ;)

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
1:24 pm

@Leggs…about 2 months shy of being two years.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
1:28 pm

“If he really needed a few more days or another week, we could probably work it out.” – This is where you would make a big mistake. You’re not really ready to let go!!!!

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
1:30 pm

@Leggs…honestly, I don’t want to let go, but I have to let go. I don’t think he would even ask for a few more days or a week out of respect for me. If he did stay longer, I would be afraid that I would cave and I just can’t.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
1:32 pm

Bluz, is all hope lost? No reconciliation?

Purple

February 9th, 2012
1:33 pm

Bluz, I don’t need to know the details but sometimes bad things happen but that doesn’t mean you can’t reconcile. Somethings that the world won’t forgive you may be able to. You have to look out for your heart.

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
1:36 pm

Bluz?

U gon live with a dude again next time?

u know the next relationship always seems the ‘right’ one.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
1:47 pm

what’s y’all thoughts on Roland Martin and CNN?!?

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
1:56 pm

Lady?

It’s much ago bout nothing really,to me.

He didn’t say none bout Gays..
I saw the commercial and wasn’t feeling it myself
but not for any reason than the fact that I didn’t

What I see tho is we All now castrated coz Gay folks have money and their lobby group is powerful and they control a whole slew of industries

They cough everybody sneezes!

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
1:57 pm

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
1:58 pm

I concur sir! RM was so refrained this morning on TJMS and Tom wouldn’t touch it. so ironic though bc they go in on everybody! They even let Jawn Murray go for the cracks on women with natural hair

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:01 pm

i said MSNBC will hire him Mike Steele and Rev Al holdin it down 0_o lol

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:03 pm

oh its official too will and jada splits says they are better as exes

Robert

February 9th, 2012
2:08 pm

“Never give porn to someone you actually want to impress. ”

I once gave a woman a VHS tape of me taking a shower for a Valentine’s gift. She told me she would watch that video all the time. It made her feel connected to me when I was not with her. Ladies and gentlemen, make your own “porn” video using your PC. I bet you will have a great time.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
2:08 pm

So you can say anything about whites, blacks, latinos etc but you get censored when you talk about gays? Really?

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
2:12 pm

@Purple…we’ve had some major problems over the past 6 months. I know he loves me and cares about me as much as he can love anyone, but it’s just not enough. He’s carried around a lot of bitterness and has a guarded heart. If he were able to let that go, then I think we could work well together. I just can’t wait around any longer for him to do this. I thought he was the one, but I’m not his number one. Therefore, I can’t be with him anymore. He didn’t do anything so bad to me, which in a way, I wish he did so it would be easier. He isn’t a bad guy…just not the one for me anymore. If he gets out there on his own and wakes up, I’m not totally closed to it, but I don’t see that happening at all. We have just gotten unhealthy together and it started turning me into a person I didn’t want to be…angry, resentful, jealous, b*tchy.

@Ex…I won’t live with another man for a really long time. He and I moved in together really quickly. He is the first man I ever lived with. I’m not going to do it again until there is a full on commitment!!!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:13 pm

purple someone just asked that same question on facebook! go figure~! guess money talks huh

Fion

February 9th, 2012
2:14 pm

@Purp
Funny thing is, he (Roland) never said the words guy or homosexual.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:17 pm

Y’all funny….

WillieD/Exiled – Feeling fat and fat ARE NOT THE SAME. As SlimNu reference, bloated…nope not fat…lol

Leggs – @Celisea ~ there’s nothing about you fat!!!

Thanks Lady..you see I put that in bold and trust you since we’ve met. :)

Purple

February 9th, 2012
2:17 pm

Bluz, I think it can be repaired but I am on the outside looking in.

Lady and Fion, I really don’t understand why that group is so sensitive…and it’s like they try and push their way of life on everyone and we have to accept them. I can’t stand that crap.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:19 pm

Really – Aunt Flow is about upon me..that’s all. I know TMI

Sorry for the slow response. I was actually running down to grab something and ran into a friend so we copped a squat and chatted awhile.

LOLOL…y’all are nuts

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
2:19 pm

He can’t even say the word “guy?” J/K

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:19 pm

I know it irks you Purple its power and control! smh!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:20 pm

Leggs my mama asked was Don Lemon offended?!? #dead LOL

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:21 pm

when he came out I was like whocares.com Don we all knew that!

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
2:23 pm

Purple…it may be able to be repaired, but not for a while. We both have a lot of work to do on ourselves before we can be together. Funny thing…we actually were kind of together about 10 years ago for a little while. Never actually became a couple for a lot of reasons. I hated him then because he broke my heart. He has grown a lot since then and I thought he was brought back into my life for a reason…that we must be meant to be together. He has more growing to do before he can be in a healthy, happy relationship. He has to give up some selfishness. If it’s meant to be, we will be together again in the future. I just can’t hold onto that hope. I have to be able to move forward with my life and just hope and pray that he does the things he needs to do to have a good relationship with someone. I want us both to be happy and if it’s not together, then so be it.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:25 pm

Wow Bluzgirl and the plot thickens! This too shall pass eventually!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
2:25 pm

@Celisea ~ too funny! If anything is fat on you it’s all that hair you have (LOLOL).

Don’t mean to rub salt in the wound, but I is happy Aunt Flow doesn’t visit me anymore IS!!!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:27 pm

i wanna meet C! :9 soon I guess ms C! ;)

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:27 pm

Awwww Leggs, You are so sweet to say so. Honestly, I NEVER see myself like that. But I can definitely take compliments.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:27 pm

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:28 pm

oh I meant to say Go Duke! lol now they trying to put that baby in the NBA (doc rivers son) hope hope he finish school I know I am in the minority though….lol same with Cam Newton lol

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
2:31 pm

WOW, this is your 2nd time around with him now thinking if it’s meant to be and he comes around, the 3rd time will work. Ummm, I wish you luck.

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
2:32 pm

Celisea & Leggs – It’s sure to be a Bloody Valentine this year for me too :cry: Leggs, pass me another snuggie and some hot tea please

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
2:33 pm

And, it’s all your “real” hair (LOLOLOL). Had to put that out there!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:33 pm

Lady – I’m gonna take a half day and we’re gonna eat lunch and hang out.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:34 pm

y’all are killing me softly LOL! Bloody Mary 5x! #BAM

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:34 pm

Leggs – LOL, nope didn’t buy it.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:34 pm

YAY! C!!! me too! lets pick a play date for March! thanks sis!

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
2:34 pm

Well…the first time doesn’t count 100%. I really don’t see a 3rd time. Of course, I hope he gets out there and realizes the darn good woman he just let go and wakes up and changes, but the chances of that are slim to none!!! That’s why I’m ending it and staying away. It will be hard because of running in the same circle, but I’m going to stay away from circle for a couple of months.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:36 pm

SlimNu – This morning, I was actually counting from last month to this month cause I’m like CLOCKWORK or sooner than clockwork and after counting the days, the bloating and the mood, I thought….DANG!!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:36 pm

Lady – Email me at beacea95@yahoo.com

March it is :)

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:37 pm

Bluzgirl you making me think of Heather Headly song “In My Mind” no pun it just came to my head. I’ve been where you are and it was tough for me as well not the shacking part just falling hard and slowing letting it go but once I did it was a freedom like no other. its a process!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:38 pm

meant slowly letting it go!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
2:41 pm

@SlimNu ~ I think you like zebra prints, but you can’t have this snuggie. Here, you can use my purple one. Not Purple, but my purple cloth one!!!!

Why doesn’t the first time count?? You felt pain from it didn’t you?? Why you quick to sweep that under the rug?

Purple

February 9th, 2012
2:41 pm

Bluz, this I do know it’s easier to stick it out during the hardtimes if you want to be with him rather than split then try and get back together. Also, I see you saying a lot of what he must do. What do you need to change about yourself in order for you two to work out? It all can’t be him.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:42 pm

I think it counts as well it was a important reference I feel. it is what it is!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:42 pm

Robert

February 9th, 2012
2:43 pm

@AND THE OSCAR GOES TO (drumrolle) – Since I am nominated for this dubious award please don’t forget to include things I hate this month. For example I hate to see –

1. Women who talk all the time (nosey-roseys).
2. Women who are always talking on their cell phone (annoying).
3. Women who are always texting.
4. Women who have tatoo’s all over their body (tackheads, slutts).
5. Women who dress inappropiately.
6. Older women trying to dress like younger women (hairweaves, fake eyelashes, tights, boots, etc..)

I hate to see -

1. Men acting like women talking on the phone all the time (Fatherless)
2. Men acting like women texting (If he had a Daddy he would not text).
3. Men who dress inappropiately (Bama’s – DC slang for undesireable)
4. Older men trying to dress like younger men (baseball caps, bluejeans, sneakers, etc.) ATL attire (Bama’s)

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:45 pm

I just screamed @ Robert’s post! WOW!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:46 pm

Okay I am running to the salon to get this short crop done! whew lawd!!!! y’all be easy! WOW! Peace~

Thanks again C and Leggs! ;)

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
2:47 pm

@Purp…I have some changes to make also. I recognize this. I’m not going to go into them here, but I know what I need to work on. It’s not only him. I have made a lot of good changes over the past two years and so has he, but it’s not quite enough. I wish I knew that this would only be a bump in the road, but deep down I know it isn’t. If we were to stay together right now, I feel like we would just be prolonging the inevitable. I just talked to a mutual friend who has known him way longer than me and even he says it’s for the best because he knows him well and knows that he is not ready for a full commitment and may never be and that I deserve the best.

disco

February 9th, 2012
2:50 pm

you all are awfully supportive of KB. at this juncture I’m thinking this is old news. goodness – let it go girl!!! if you are the dumpee and didn’t see it coming then fine but if you haven’t been happy in some time it seems like to me you’ve been mentally preparing for the inevitable (or at least you SHOULD HAVE BEEN mentally preparing for it). how about trying a new approach?

KB – why don’t you tell us how you plan on spending your time after d-day? you got friends/family lined up to hang out with? overtime to work? hair appointments scheduled? do you have a list of movies/books you want to get caught up on. you going to take yourself on a “I’m back out here” shopping trip. quit the whining (about him), let’s talk action (about you).

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
2:51 pm

@Bluz ~ is that friend interested in YOU?

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
2:55 pm

I’m doing my best to keep my schedule busy. I’m working at the George Strait concert tomorrow night, working a benefit for a friend of mine on Sun, going to a dinner on Tues that benefits a charity I work for…after that, I’ll figure out ways to keep occupied. I have plenty to do around my house. I know that I have to keep busy to avoid falling into a deep depression (something I do struggle with). I have supportive friends and family, so I can always call on them to do something when I need to get out.

Honestly, I didn’t see it coming down this so soon, which is why it is really hard for me. Something happened last week that made me really start thinking about things. It was just this weekend that I made the decision to finally pull the plug. It should have been done a while back, but I kept hoping that it was just speed bumps and we’d come back stronger. After the last huge bump, I knew I wouldn’t be able to be stronger and it was time for us to just go our separate ways…

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:55 pm

And let’s tell others to quit enabling and fueling

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
2:57 pm

@Leggs…Not at all! He’s happily married with a son. He’s just being a good friend right now. My now ex may end up staying with him for a week or so until he finds a place to live permanently.

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
2:57 pm

Cel – I’m damn near textbook, clock work, to the tee. But I suppose that’s a good thing so it keeps down on any surprises. ;-)

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:57 pm

Because one inquiry tends to yield a book

disco

February 9th, 2012
2:59 pm

KB – I was hoping that your posts would reflect your coming actions/engagements and things that you had to look forward to and even then you bring it right back to him and how you feel about him. girl, I dare to say that – YOU ARE DOOMED. mind over matter. geesh.

where did exiled go? lol.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:00 pm

Exactly Slim. Funny thing about me is I usually have no symptoms…none Sometimes, like now I’ll bloat but it’s usually “arrived” when I wake up or if I have to get up in the middle of the night. But yeah, that’s one of the best things about clockwork.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:01 pm

@Bluz ~ only asked because I know happily married men will supposedly talk the “real deal” about another friend of theirs when they’re actually interested in the woman themselves!!!! Good, he’s just a good friend right now.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:01 pm

And I’m reeeeallly trying to learn to be less brash and more considerate of others in this type environment. I tend to have VERY little patience just period and then very little patience for stuff that seems simple. So sometimes in an effort to be good, I just pass over so I don’t end up saying the wrong things.

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:03 pm

Please God don’t let me be doomed!!! I’m still trying to figure out things I’m going to be doing to help me get by. I always have things I can do, so I’m not too worried. I may try to go to my girlfriend’s in Warner Robins next weekend…

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:03 pm

Because even though I realize somebody came in and erased a good bit of my memory…lol…I’m sure somewhere many moons ago, I was probably doing the same thing. Not this EXACT same thing but I’m sure similiar.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:05 pm

@Celisea ~ I was thankful that during my jail time with Aunt Flow, I never had symptoms either. Well, I had 3 I labeled the 3 H’s = Hot, Hungry and Horny (lol).

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:06 pm

@Bluz ~ you’ve probably told us, but I can’t remember, how old are you?

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:07 pm

Leggs…even if that dude was interested, there would be NO WAY I would go there. He’s smart, though…he knows he’s got an awesome woman and he takes care of her!

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
3:07 pm

Sooo, what are everyone’s weekend plans?

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:09 pm

Lady-I was so hype when A.R. hit that 3 last night..I love Duke BBall, prolly cause everyone hates on them so much…

Blu-I have seen this episode before, don’t feed into the its an ex for a reason crap, love and commmitment is about timing…you referenced growing, and I do not doubt that you both may need to grow, experience other people, and whatever else the relationship needs….you also referenced full commitment!!!…it stuck out to me because, you guys were living together and playing house…this situation typically begins to dissolve when one party (the woman) begins to devalue the relationship because their has not been an offical engagement…in some cases its the right thing to do, but many times people disconnect themselves from their destinies only to meet on the other side of the circle, hope this is not your case considering the distress you appear to be experiencing over your decision. You went on to say he really didn’t do anything bad to you….hope your face doesn’t suddenly want its nose back!!

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
3:10 pm

Swiss now packing up a big azz fan, 2 ham sammiches and some Red Bull and heading over to Leggs‘ place…

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:11 pm

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:13 pm

Leggs – Prebaby, I was only having a cycle every 2 or 3 months so needless to say when I got pregnant….I got pregnant…lol Was on nothing, never used anything. Like I said we lived together. I had fibroids so you know the story there. That can be a freaking nightmare. Anyway, never cramped, ached…nothing. Once I got pregnant, I didn’t realize it for sometime. Had one in June (yes I remember) but wasn’t expecting another until August/Septemberish. Well by that time I was moody, crying and all over the place. Oh and don’t let me forget hungry all day. Did a pregnancy test…positive. Went to the doctor and I was 11 weeks.

After kid and removal of fibroids, it’s been smooooooth sailing every since. Two – three days tops. No cramping, nothing heavy…just the irritation of having one. lol

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:16 pm

My weekend is up in the air…nothing definite. Just talked to a friend about possibly seeing Denzel’s movie. That’s all for now.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:16 pm

Boy, I can always get a laugh from you swiss! :lol: :lol:

@Bluz ~ 32. I thought you were in your 30’s.

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:20 pm

@Jake…no, he didn’t do anything really bad to me, but he didn’t consider me in some decisions and seemed to push my feelings to the side. I don’t think he meant to intentially hurt me, but he didn’t consider me…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:20 pm

@Jake ~ I tried to summon you on Tuesday when I first got sick. Since you know the block I live on thought I could get you to bring me some soup and juice.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
3:24 pm

Leggs, don’t be loaning out the “Purple one” to Slim. LOL

Bluz, if that guy said anything about your ex/ his friend to you. HE IS NOT that guys friend and he has an ulterior motive with you. DOn’t be fooled about that. A friend would not throw his friend under the bus no matter if it would hurt you or not. Him being happuly married doesn’t me anything.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
3:25 pm

I like Jake’s post

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:25 pm

Naturally, I thought of that Purple.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:26 pm

Hey Leggs, I hope you feel better, I would have been happy to do that for ya, was out of office a couple days…btw, I am close proximity right now, if you Need something…

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:29 pm

Purp…he wasn’t throwing him under the bus…just stating that he has known him for a long time and loves him to death, but knows he isn’t right for me because he just can’t settle down and commit, which is what I want. He was not being mean at all about him. He knows me pretty well too and he just agreed that I deserve someone who puts me as a top priority and that ex may never be able to do that…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:29 pm

@Jake ~ thanks buddy, but I now have everything I need to fight this cold.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
3:33 pm

Bluz, that was game and by man law definition he was throwing him under the bus

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:33 pm

Blu-I can feel you on the failure to be considerate, here comes the but, but does this decision that you were not privy to improve him, possibly you both, put him on stable footing for continued progress, etc, becuase if its a good decision for him, support is the appropriate response….some decisions are not meant for discussion, some decisions that men make are selfish to those who cannot grasp full vison and scope of the decision itself.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
3:34 pm

Bluz did this happily married man have this conversation with you..while his wife was present?

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
3:38 pm

BluzPurple speaks the truth. No dude would ever say to his true friend’s girl that the friend “just isn’t right” for the girl, no matter how many nice things he said about the friend before the “but.” That’s a Man-Law personal foul. Not cool.

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
3:39 pm

Leggs – Purp is on a Break in case of emergency’s contact list (with Mrs approval of course) but this hardly constitutes an emergency. ;-)

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:39 pm

@Jake…the decision he made about 2 weeks ago, that I found out about last week, is definitely not one that makes him better. It’s also one that he knew I would be upset about. He just made the decision to do something that I cannot handle (nothing harmful, but hurt my feelings…no details here) and did not consider me. When I got upset about it, he just threw my feelings to the side. This wasn’t the first time. It was basically the final straw that made me realize that there are certain things that neither one of us will agree one.

@Purp…the convo was via Facebook messaging. There was nothing at all said that she shouldn’t know. I know how much he adores her and he IS a good friend to my ex and to me. I man and a woman can be just friends…

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:41 pm

I don’t really care if this dude is into me or not…it would NEVER happen!!!!!!!!! No way, no how!!!!!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:43 pm

@Bluz ~ you guys are having this type of convo on FB?? WOW. Now, I know I’m old.

@Purp ~ I’ve been thinking along those lines since she said something about the happily married man. Outsiders using the word “happily” always makes me laugh. I know many supposedly “happily” married men who are dawgs!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:44 pm

Bluz-trust us, that convoy with the married dude is totally out of bounds, even if you and dude are super cool, he cant say that, he can call dude and say, you aint treatin her right, you gonna miss her when she smarten up, get yo ish right, but he cant say nothin to you about him period….does anyone else here Babyface songs!!

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
3:44 pm

Bluz — I don’t think any one is suggesting you’d let anything happen w/ the friend; I think the point is you might want to take his advice with a grain of salt, because there is probably an ulterior motive.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:44 pm

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:45 pm

No one is saying if it will happen, just giving you insight.

disco

February 9th, 2012
3:47 pm

swiss – she might not WANT to let anything happen with the friend but this woman has “okey doke” written all over her (as in she is probably quite susceptible to falling for the okey doke). purple pegged it. sounds like the friend is setting her up. she’s going to be in one of her whiney/crying moods and mr. good friend is going to play the role of comforter and y’all know how that is likely to play out.

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:47 pm

@Leggs…here is why it was on Facebook…he is donating an item for a silent auction for the benefit I am working on Sunday and I am running the SA…he was writing to ask what time to deliver it. I then told him that we broke up and it went from there. He did talk about being glad he waited and married his wife because she is the best thing that could have happened to him. Trust me…it really wasn’t anything inappropriate. Facebook is sometimes the best way to get ahold of some people…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:48 pm

Another question, Bluz, how old is the friend?

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:50 pm

@Bluz ~ got how the convo started, but you should have shut it down after your first statement. You’re right, FB is a great way of getting ahold of some people…not the best place to talk about your pending breakup. JMO!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:50 pm

Good Lawd…Jesus!!! Please!!

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:51 pm

Ok…enough talking about married dude. Too much judgement, when I know him well and I know his intentions. I’m not stupid, even tough I may act like it sometimes! :-) I don’t need to prove his intentions…I don’t care about his intentions. He is just being honest…if my ex ends up staying with him for a little while, there is a good chance that he will tell him what an idiot he was for losing me!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:51 pm

Leggs- you do know that those can occur concurrently…you can be a happily married dawg…and failure to remain monogomaus does not automatically mean someone’s unhappy…but thats a different conversation…

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:52 pm

Leggs…I don’t even know how old he is…I think in his early 40’s, but not sure.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:52 pm

That 3:51 is spot on.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:53 pm

I’ll take that back, Bluz. You can talk to anyone by any form of convo you’re comfortable with. I’m back in my own lane..I apologize.

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
3:54 pm

the fact that Blu continues to say nice things bout dude but still wants to break up,tells me she got low self esteem issues.

The friend u talk about knows about good ur head is coz ur ex told him bout it

These are the people u want to avoid

Told ya!

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
3:55 pm

One of my friends and his ex-wife used to be happily married swingers. :lol: Once back in my single days, I was over there partying with them and this other chick and the wife started complaining to me about my friend and how she wished he was more like me while I was fuggin’ her. :shock: I had to pull the plug on those festivities and get out of there. Sucks, too, ‘cos she knew how to work that pdu$$y… :lol:

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
3:55 pm

How good ur head is

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:55 pm

Oh, no doubt Jake. Many married men have affairs not because they’re unhappy at home. There’s a plethora of reasons with unhappy probably being midway on the list.

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:56 pm

I’ve also known this dude for about 6-7 years and ex has known him for about 20-25 years…he knows us both fairly well. It is kind of nice to talk to a mutual friend and not put ex down, but just speak the truth. Most will agree that ex is a good guy, just not good for me.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:57 pm

Jake’s 3:51

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
4:00 pm

Swiss, did you pull early, or try to control the convulsions and fake like nothing happened…my guess is the latter, cause I am not exiting nothin until the job is done…lol

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
4:03 pm

Celisea..thanks for the assist

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Enter your comments here

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Bluz, men know men better than a woman ever will. Just listen to our words…do what you want to do but just listen.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Could you guys go back and read my 10:30…thank you (lol).

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Jake – You got it.

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Jake — Well, technically, the job got done — a couple times, actually — but there was more work to be had if I had stuck around. :lol: It just got too weird with some of her intermission commentary…

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
4:06 pm

Swiss?

so dude would be watching while u work the wife?

happyily watching?

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:06 pm

On FaceBook? LOL okay

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:07 pm

Ut oh – I’m about to cover my eyes…

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:07 pm

Swiss, you need to see Dr Phil. lol

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
4:11 pm

Me.lo — Well, he was occupied with the other chick. At first it started out in a hot tub with all of us there, then we broke out to separate rooms. It was definitely weird, but everybody else was all gung-ho for it, I was single at the time, and the wife was pretty hot, plus I already knew she was a FA-REAK, so I wasn’t about to turn down some easy pud.dy. :lol:

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:11 pm

Leggs you are a great mother!

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:14 pm

All I have taught my son is how to burp, spit, blow spit bubbles, he tries to do situps with me when I work out and pushups. He knows how to start the tractor, turn on the playstation, take his diaper off to pee and walk around naked. Yep I have him on the right road of being a man! lol

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:15 pm

I voted for it Leggs

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
4:16 pm

It just got too weird with some of her intermission commentary…

swiss – You really have me cracking up over here. Did yall sit in front of green screens with head sets on talking bout the replays, slow mo’s, and best plays of the previous sessions? :lol:

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:16 pm

It’s Friday eve….

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
4:16 pm

Swiss?

my own take is folks who do stuff like that(swing) have a missing nutt in the head and one day,they may go real crazy…so it’s kinda dangerous to be in those situations. You can easily lose ur life fpr pudy…

One of my African friends told me they were involved with a white couple like that. He went solo(multiple times) to service the wife in the presence of the hubby.

I really prayed for his safety!

Wife servicing is a Huge business I am told

Strange America

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:16 pm

Dang swiss, I can go for one of those ham sammiches right about now.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:17 pm

Slim out of all of that, Swiss thought that was the weird part.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:19 pm

Meello – She sounds like she’s prostituting…huge business. I did laugh at you praying for his safety.

I stick and d@cking can get reaaaal nasty

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:19 pm

Sticking and D!cking

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
4:20 pm

Slim — That’s right. And you know I busted out the tele-strator. “Now see, right here — FREEZE IT! — Right here is where you need to be getting a little more friction on the shaft, BOOM!” :lol:

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
4:20 pm

Purp?

Dr Phil talks(sound of voice) like somebody wifes him

:lol:

I wouldn’t surprised

It’s like that Joe Paterno dude who died

I think he was in the biznes of kids

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
4:23 pm

Purple — Oh, no, the whole d@mn thing was weird, no doubt. But it was kinda fun for a while, nonetheless… :lol: Don’t judge me! :lol:

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:25 pm

Thank you Purple. And, thanks for voting…you can vote everyday.

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
4:29 pm

That’s why Disco mentioned the uniqueness of folks relationships

To think there are men who get joy(if not getting off) seeing their wives being banged by another stud?

Hmmmmmmm

Only in America

U can excuse the Moslems in Iran for saying America is Evil :lol:

disco

February 9th, 2012
4:29 pm

swiss – judge you? I’m willing to bet some folks are living vicariously through you.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:30 pm

Or living match for match, deed for deed…currently

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:31 pm

@Celisea ~ you’re over there talking about sticking and d!!icking…roflmao.

@PR ~ not sure if you’re really teaching your son how to make spit bubbles…think they’re born knowing how to do that (lol).

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:32 pm

Leggs – Wang swapping

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:34 pm

And I gather it’s not safe, a good idea or the best idea to buy lingerie for VD?

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:34 pm

Don’t seem like there’s a need for clothing at all around these parts.

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
4:38 pm

although I really wanna go to Trapeze,solo,be4 I die!

:lol:

Ijs

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
4:40 pm

Purp – You didn’t know swiss was an extra in that movie Eyes Wide Shut.

swiss – Pure Crazy! :lol: But question, would a foul on the play consist of unnecessary male to male contact? Or was that expected?

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:41 pm

@Ex ~ even if you’re still married. Solo???

Wang swapping / Wife Swap (lol)

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
4:43 pm

No wife swap Leggs,are u crazy? :lol:

just to watch,take notes and maybe write a book

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
4:43 pm

Me.lo:lol: Yeah, that’s what I thought. I don’t get it, either, but when you’ve got a nice piece of pud.dy begging you to phu.ck it, the peripheral details of the situation seem less important… :lol:

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
4:47 pm

Meant to say ‘Accidental Male to male contact’ :oops:

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:49 pm

That was a remark to Celisea’s wang swapping. Wasn’t meant for you Ex (didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers).

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
4:49 pm

Slim — Whoa, whoa, whoa… hold the phone. Absolutely no dude-on-dude contact — accidental or not — is acceptable. That will get you a lifetime ban. At least in my league… :lol: No, seriously though, no danger of that — it wasn’t a free-for-all, it was just my friend off w/ some other chick and me off w/ the friend’s wife. No cross-pollination going on…. :lol:

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:59 pm

Leggs – He said that so emphatically…lol “are u crazy” riiiight.

I was just commenting on the hot tub actions and exchanging partners and bedrooms…lol That’s where my wang swap came from.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
5:11 pm

I quickly forgot about the hot tub. Ex is a walking double edge sword. Ummm, double something…what is the term???

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:20 pm

I’m going to post something soon that I’ve noticed with a coworker. He’s not new here but been in my group for about 8 months. He was heavily recruited to this team. I’ve noticed it but wasn’t sure I was seeing what I though I saw. Natually I thought naaaah, that’s you…. you’re not seeing that. I want to be sure it’s not what I’m seeing but something much less. It could be just what men do but I dunno yet. Right now I’m more leaning to it’s just what men do.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
5:22 pm

Got it….double standard! Yep, it took me that long to figure out what I was trying to say,

Good night!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
5:23 pm

Dang girl, stop leaving me hanging…what is it you think you’re seeing. Is he scratching his ballz all willy nilly???

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:24 pm

Leggs – This is for you only….cause most are gone…one sec

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
5:25 pm

C — To answer you question: Yes, that dude does want to ph.uck you. :lol:

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:26 pm

Dang I know my body…just great

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
5:26 pm

Ooops, swiss is still here. But, he’s cool…

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:26 pm

One sec Swiss…lol

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:27 pm

Paying a bill…one sec

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
5:27 pm

I am truly laughing at loud at you Celisea! You called it, she came to visit. Too funny.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:38 pm

Okay, last year he was brought on here because the other guy left. They interviewed almost a year and recruited him. White guy, pretty smooth, nice dresser, nice size…etc Well we have to interact on a lot of deals. Soooo, my manager put in my review for us (not just me and him but another member) to get some time on the calendar. So, I send him a planner at the beginning to meet for about 30 minutes. Well, he respond to “why haven’t we had lunch?” Atennea shot straight up but I didn’t respond or react one way or the other. So we go to lunch (my guard is up, walls high). We talk about work and work only so then I relax a bit. But I have caught him sooooo many times looking at me. His office is directly in front of me and when I stand to walk, he eyes are like where my hips are and he ALWAYS ALWAYS LOOK. During the holiday lunch he asked me “so how old do you think I am” He reminds me of Richard Gere. Beautifully mixed gray but young face. I was cool laughing and talking but now it’s like instinct, I’m guarded when he approaches. It’s been nothing overt and I don’t want to be one of those women that believes all men likes them but I catch him ALLLL the time. We had a call the other morning and it was just the two of us in the conference room, others dialed in and each time I looked up, he was just looking at me. I even closed my top…had it buttoned to the where my bra starts. I was here the other night until six and it was just us again. I get up to go the the restroom and he’s looking at my hips. He then says something and I walk in his office and it like ha ha ha…jokie joke.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:38 pm

Leggs – The only sympton I didn’t say is headache…I do get those…and I have one now

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
5:42 pm

Ok, your co-worker has the hots for you. I don’t get your last sentence. Why you go into his office and what’s the jokie joke. Are you making this stuff up??? Why??? Looking sideways, am I being punked???

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:42 pm

He is KNOWN all over this place…EVERYBODY loooooves him. Very highly reverenced and regarded. He always walks up to my desk to chitchat. I just lean over because his eyes go straight to the waist (while I’m sitting). I could be waaaaaaaay off, because really he’s super friendly, everybody knows him across states and all. I had a coworker to call me and said “tell his fine ass I said hello” and another IM’d me here at work and said she’d heard he was good looking and to describe him…

Just saying, it could be. Too early to concretely say.

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
5:42 pm

See there, C, I already knew the answer even before I knew the question. :lol:

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:44 pm

Leggs – I was going to the restroom before heading home. When I came back around the corner he said something…his door is ajar. So I stepped back and said “I’m sorry did you say something” and he just said “nothing I was joking” but I didn’t hear what he said. He’s the one where one day I didn’t realize he was behind me and I said “I’m getting too fat” and he replied “You are NOT fat”

I could be wrong and misreading. Just need to keep my guard up.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:45 pm

Swiss – I’m hoping I’m off but I almost don’t think I am.

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
5:47 pm

C — Why so on guard? You just might like the swirl if you try it… ;-) :lol:

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:47 pm

Swiss – He’s married.

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
5:49 pm

Ah, yeah, well there’s that… :lol:

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:50 pm

He’s super friendly by nature pretty much with everybody but there’s just a hint of “something” I can’t quite peg. When I say there’s no one in this place that haven’t heard of him, there’s pretty much no one. He’s only been here as long as me but he worked in a much bigger LOB. Which is why he was heavily recruited. I mean we went months missing this role because they couldn’t find someone that really qualified.

I just got a quick note to meet (he copied others) but he and I need ot cover a few things.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:50 pm

Swiss – I don’t mind the swirling…I do mind the wife :)

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
5:51 pm

Sounds like he’s admiring the chocolate. He’s gregarious by nature from what I’m reading. Just stay alert. He’s smart to have a harassment charge.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:52 pm

That’s what I’m thinking. I think he just “admire and appreciate” women, especially black women. It’s all black women in other support teams and roles that assisted him.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
5:53 pm

smart to NOT have…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
5:55 pm

Well, if there’s something you can’t quite “peg,” then when you have to cover things, do it with a third person in the room.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:57 pm

Leggs – He’s been here 15 years and too smart for that. I’m not worried at all. I trust myself COMPLETELY…LOL I’m was just wondering if my eyes, ears and instinct were all deceiving me but any lines getting crossed? Not worried at all.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
5:58 pm

Now if we went to Vegas…I KID I KID I KID :)

Alright folks I’m out.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
6:00 pm

Your instincts rarely ever deceive you.

Good night!

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
6:03 pm

Cee ask him if he married to white or black…to start the ball rolling…unless if he got her pics in the office. I don’t.

If u jokey jokey with him u could just be blatant and ask him if he likes black tail

BAM!!!!!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
6:05 pm

I’m still sitting here so Imma answer you. She’s white. There’s a picture on his desk along with 4 kids. But I ain’t jokie jokie about nothing. I don’t play with this kind of thing with office workers, especially married ones. Can you imagine something popping off? I can be a handful if I’m EVER ticked off. I don’t think he could handle me…lol

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
6:07 pm

I see shoes again to the right off the screen!!!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
6:08 pm

I see dead people….

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
6:09 pm

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
6:09 pm

LOL….stooop Leggs

He’s coming to me now

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
6:11 pm

How’s his body language? Is there a “glint” in his eyes? lol

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
6:17 pm

I stood up so he wouldn’t walk all the way over. We’re talking business right now…lol I can’t believe I’m posting a play by play. He stopped to grab his phone.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
6:18 pm

I’m gonna scoot on out and head to the RR, so he won’t walk all the way over.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
6:19 pm

Whats an RR? Oh, nevamind…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
6:22 pm

Hope he’s not lurking waiting for you to come out of RR.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
6:26 pm

Naaah, he’s on the phone with the ballplayer. Actually if it wasn’t for him the ballplayer wouldn’t have hit his goals this year. But no, it was just business.

Alright, I’m gonna scoot where he’s on the phone. Night Leggs!!

I did see the shoes again…lol

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
6:27 pm

Good nite, Celisea…leave the pills home tomorrow!