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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Lingerie a risky gift?

That so called “romantic holiday” that is less than a week away has some people all in a tizzy. When you are in the “casual dating” stage, things may be a little confusing on which way to go. What do you do when you aren’t exclusive, but definitely more than just friends, and headed toward romance?

One reader wants to know if he should purchase lingerie for a woman he has feelings for and wants to let her know. I don’t think lingerie is a good gift idea for someone you are just dating. It can be a risky option since it sort of screams “I want to see you in it for about 30 seconds” – which may be the point, but is it the right time?

Are their certain gifts that you should definitely steer clear from just to be safe?

Have you ever given or received lingerie or sexy items as a gift from someone you were seeing? How did you/they react?

What is the sexiest thing someone has ever given you?

A guy once gave me a porn video. Seriously, he literally gift wrapped the thing! I’m no prude (by any stretch of the imagination) but that did not win me over.

Here is a tip for you: Never give porn to someone you actually want to impress. You’re welcome.

362 comments Add your comment

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:33 pm

Blu-I can feel you on the failure to be considerate, here comes the but, but does this decision that you were not privy to improve him, possibly you both, put him on stable footing for continued progress, etc, becuase if its a good decision for him, support is the appropriate response….some decisions are not meant for discussion, some decisions that men make are selfish to those who cannot grasp full vison and scope of the decision itself.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
3:34 pm

Bluz did this happily married man have this conversation with you..while his wife was present?

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
3:38 pm

BluzPurple speaks the truth. No dude would ever say to his true friend’s girl that the friend “just isn’t right” for the girl, no matter how many nice things he said about the friend before the “but.” That’s a Man-Law personal foul. Not cool.

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
3:39 pm

Leggs – Purp is on a Break in case of emergency’s contact list (with Mrs approval of course) but this hardly constitutes an emergency. ;-)

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:39 pm

@Jake…the decision he made about 2 weeks ago, that I found out about last week, is definitely not one that makes him better. It’s also one that he knew I would be upset about. He just made the decision to do something that I cannot handle (nothing harmful, but hurt my feelings…no details here) and did not consider me. When I got upset about it, he just threw my feelings to the side. This wasn’t the first time. It was basically the final straw that made me realize that there are certain things that neither one of us will agree one.

@Purp…the convo was via Facebook messaging. There was nothing at all said that she shouldn’t know. I know how much he adores her and he IS a good friend to my ex and to me. I man and a woman can be just friends…

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:41 pm

I don’t really care if this dude is into me or not…it would NEVER happen!!!!!!!!! No way, no how!!!!!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:43 pm

@Bluz ~ you guys are having this type of convo on FB?? WOW. Now, I know I’m old.

@Purp ~ I’ve been thinking along those lines since she said something about the happily married man. Outsiders using the word “happily” always makes me laugh. I know many supposedly “happily” married men who are dawgs!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:44 pm

Bluz-trust us, that convoy with the married dude is totally out of bounds, even if you and dude are super cool, he cant say that, he can call dude and say, you aint treatin her right, you gonna miss her when she smarten up, get yo ish right, but he cant say nothin to you about him period….does anyone else here Babyface songs!!

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
3:44 pm

Bluz — I don’t think any one is suggesting you’d let anything happen w/ the friend; I think the point is you might want to take his advice with a grain of salt, because there is probably an ulterior motive.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:44 pm

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:45 pm

No one is saying if it will happen, just giving you insight.

disco

February 9th, 2012
3:47 pm

swiss – she might not WANT to let anything happen with the friend but this woman has “okey doke” written all over her (as in she is probably quite susceptible to falling for the okey doke). purple pegged it. sounds like the friend is setting her up. she’s going to be in one of her whiney/crying moods and mr. good friend is going to play the role of comforter and y’all know how that is likely to play out.

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:47 pm

@Leggs…here is why it was on Facebook…he is donating an item for a silent auction for the benefit I am working on Sunday and I am running the SA…he was writing to ask what time to deliver it. I then told him that we broke up and it went from there. He did talk about being glad he waited and married his wife because she is the best thing that could have happened to him. Trust me…it really wasn’t anything inappropriate. Facebook is sometimes the best way to get ahold of some people…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:48 pm

Another question, Bluz, how old is the friend?

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:50 pm

@Bluz ~ got how the convo started, but you should have shut it down after your first statement. You’re right, FB is a great way of getting ahold of some people…not the best place to talk about your pending breakup. JMO!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:50 pm

Good Lawd…Jesus!!! Please!!

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:51 pm

Ok…enough talking about married dude. Too much judgement, when I know him well and I know his intentions. I’m not stupid, even tough I may act like it sometimes! :-) I don’t need to prove his intentions…I don’t care about his intentions. He is just being honest…if my ex ends up staying with him for a little while, there is a good chance that he will tell him what an idiot he was for losing me!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:51 pm

Leggs- you do know that those can occur concurrently…you can be a happily married dawg…and failure to remain monogomaus does not automatically mean someone’s unhappy…but thats a different conversation…

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:52 pm

Leggs…I don’t even know how old he is…I think in his early 40’s, but not sure.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:52 pm

That 3:51 is spot on.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:53 pm

I’ll take that back, Bluz. You can talk to anyone by any form of convo you’re comfortable with. I’m back in my own lane..I apologize.

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
3:54 pm

the fact that Blu continues to say nice things bout dude but still wants to break up,tells me she got low self esteem issues.

The friend u talk about knows about good ur head is coz ur ex told him bout it

These are the people u want to avoid

Told ya!

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
3:55 pm

One of my friends and his ex-wife used to be happily married swingers. :lol: Once back in my single days, I was over there partying with them and this other chick and the wife started complaining to me about my friend and how she wished he was more like me while I was fuggin’ her. :shock: I had to pull the plug on those festivities and get out of there. Sucks, too, ‘cos she knew how to work that pdu$$y… :lol:

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
3:55 pm

How good ur head is

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:55 pm

Oh, no doubt Jake. Many married men have affairs not because they’re unhappy at home. There’s a plethora of reasons with unhappy probably being midway on the list.

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:56 pm

I’ve also known this dude for about 6-7 years and ex has known him for about 20-25 years…he knows us both fairly well. It is kind of nice to talk to a mutual friend and not put ex down, but just speak the truth. Most will agree that ex is a good guy, just not good for me.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:57 pm

Jake’s 3:51

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
4:00 pm

Swiss, did you pull early, or try to control the convulsions and fake like nothing happened…my guess is the latter, cause I am not exiting nothin until the job is done…lol

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
4:03 pm

Celisea..thanks for the assist

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Enter your comments here

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Bluz, men know men better than a woman ever will. Just listen to our words…do what you want to do but just listen.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Could you guys go back and read my 10:30…thank you (lol).

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Jake – You got it.

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
4:04 pm

Jake — Well, technically, the job got done — a couple times, actually — but there was more work to be had if I had stuck around. :lol: It just got too weird with some of her intermission commentary…

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
4:06 pm

Swiss?

so dude would be watching while u work the wife?

happyily watching?

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:06 pm

On FaceBook? LOL okay

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:07 pm

Ut oh – I’m about to cover my eyes…

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:07 pm

Swiss, you need to see Dr Phil. lol

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
4:11 pm

Me.lo — Well, he was occupied with the other chick. At first it started out in a hot tub with all of us there, then we broke out to separate rooms. It was definitely weird, but everybody else was all gung-ho for it, I was single at the time, and the wife was pretty hot, plus I already knew she was a FA-REAK, so I wasn’t about to turn down some easy pud.dy. :lol:

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:11 pm

Leggs you are a great mother!

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:14 pm

All I have taught my son is how to burp, spit, blow spit bubbles, he tries to do situps with me when I work out and pushups. He knows how to start the tractor, turn on the playstation, take his diaper off to pee and walk around naked. Yep I have him on the right road of being a man! lol

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:15 pm

I voted for it Leggs

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
4:16 pm

It just got too weird with some of her intermission commentary…

swiss – You really have me cracking up over here. Did yall sit in front of green screens with head sets on talking bout the replays, slow mo’s, and best plays of the previous sessions? :lol:

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:16 pm

It’s Friday eve….

Exiled!

February 9th, 2012
4:16 pm

Swiss?

my own take is folks who do stuff like that(swing) have a missing nutt in the head and one day,they may go real crazy…so it’s kinda dangerous to be in those situations. You can easily lose ur life fpr pudy…

One of my African friends told me they were involved with a white couple like that. He went solo(multiple times) to service the wife in the presence of the hubby.

I really prayed for his safety!

Wife servicing is a Huge business I am told

Strange America

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
4:16 pm

Dang swiss, I can go for one of those ham sammiches right about now.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
4:17 pm

Slim out of all of that, Swiss thought that was the weird part.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:19 pm

Meello – She sounds like she’s prostituting…huge business. I did laugh at you praying for his safety.

I stick and d@cking can get reaaaal nasty

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
4:19 pm

Sticking and D!cking

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
4:20 pm

Slim — That’s right. And you know I busted out the tele-strator. “Now see, right here — FREEZE IT! — Right here is where you need to be getting a little more friction on the shaft, BOOM!” :lol: