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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Lingerie a risky gift?

That so called “romantic holiday” that is less than a week away has some people all in a tizzy. When you are in the “casual dating” stage, things may be a little confusing on which way to go. What do you do when you aren’t exclusive, but definitely more than just friends, and headed toward romance?

One reader wants to know if he should purchase lingerie for a woman he has feelings for and wants to let her know. I don’t think lingerie is a good gift idea for someone you are just dating. It can be a risky option since it sort of screams “I want to see you in it for about 30 seconds” – which may be the point, but is it the right time?

Are their certain gifts that you should definitely steer clear from just to be safe?

Have you ever given or received lingerie or sexy items as a gift from someone you were seeing? How did you/they react?

What is the sexiest thing someone has ever given you?

A guy once gave me a porn video. Seriously, he literally gift wrapped the thing! I’m no prude (by any stretch of the imagination) but that did not win me over.

Here is a tip for you: Never give porn to someone you actually want to impress. You’re welcome.

362 comments Add your comment

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
2:33 pm

And, it’s all your “real” hair (LOLOLOL). Had to put that out there!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:33 pm

Lady – I’m gonna take a half day and we’re gonna eat lunch and hang out.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:34 pm

y’all are killing me softly LOL! Bloody Mary 5x! #BAM

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:34 pm

Leggs – LOL, nope didn’t buy it.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:34 pm

YAY! C!!! me too! lets pick a play date for March! thanks sis!

Bluzgirl (AKA Kellibean)

February 9th, 2012
2:34 pm

Well…the first time doesn’t count 100%. I really don’t see a 3rd time. Of course, I hope he gets out there and realizes the darn good woman he just let go and wakes up and changes, but the chances of that are slim to none!!! That’s why I’m ending it and staying away. It will be hard because of running in the same circle, but I’m going to stay away from circle for a couple of months.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:36 pm

SlimNu – This morning, I was actually counting from last month to this month cause I’m like CLOCKWORK or sooner than clockwork and after counting the days, the bloating and the mood, I thought….DANG!!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:36 pm

Lady – Email me at beacea95@yahoo.com

March it is :)

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:37 pm

Bluzgirl you making me think of Heather Headly song “In My Mind” no pun it just came to my head. I’ve been where you are and it was tough for me as well not the shacking part just falling hard and slowing letting it go but once I did it was a freedom like no other. its a process!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:38 pm

meant slowly letting it go!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
2:41 pm

@SlimNu ~ I think you like zebra prints, but you can’t have this snuggie. Here, you can use my purple one. Not Purple, but my purple cloth one!!!!

Why doesn’t the first time count?? You felt pain from it didn’t you?? Why you quick to sweep that under the rug?

Purple

February 9th, 2012
2:41 pm

Bluz, this I do know it’s easier to stick it out during the hardtimes if you want to be with him rather than split then try and get back together. Also, I see you saying a lot of what he must do. What do you need to change about yourself in order for you two to work out? It all can’t be him.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:42 pm

I think it counts as well it was a important reference I feel. it is what it is!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:42 pm

Robert

February 9th, 2012
2:43 pm

@AND THE OSCAR GOES TO (drumrolle) – Since I am nominated for this dubious award please don’t forget to include things I hate this month. For example I hate to see –

1. Women who talk all the time (nosey-roseys).
2. Women who are always talking on their cell phone (annoying).
3. Women who are always texting.
4. Women who have tatoo’s all over their body (tackheads, slutts).
5. Women who dress inappropiately.
6. Older women trying to dress like younger women (hairweaves, fake eyelashes, tights, boots, etc..)

I hate to see -

1. Men acting like women talking on the phone all the time (Fatherless)
2. Men acting like women texting (If he had a Daddy he would not text).
3. Men who dress inappropiately (Bama’s – DC slang for undesireable)
4. Older men trying to dress like younger men (baseball caps, bluejeans, sneakers, etc.) ATL attire (Bama’s)

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:45 pm

I just screamed @ Robert’s post! WOW!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
2:46 pm

Okay I am running to the salon to get this short crop done! whew lawd!!!! y’all be easy! WOW! Peace~

Thanks again C and Leggs! ;)

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
2:47 pm

@Purp…I have some changes to make also. I recognize this. I’m not going to go into them here, but I know what I need to work on. It’s not only him. I have made a lot of good changes over the past two years and so has he, but it’s not quite enough. I wish I knew that this would only be a bump in the road, but deep down I know it isn’t. If we were to stay together right now, I feel like we would just be prolonging the inevitable. I just talked to a mutual friend who has known him way longer than me and even he says it’s for the best because he knows him well and knows that he is not ready for a full commitment and may never be and that I deserve the best.

disco

February 9th, 2012
2:50 pm

you all are awfully supportive of KB. at this juncture I’m thinking this is old news. goodness – let it go girl!!! if you are the dumpee and didn’t see it coming then fine but if you haven’t been happy in some time it seems like to me you’ve been mentally preparing for the inevitable (or at least you SHOULD HAVE BEEN mentally preparing for it). how about trying a new approach?

KB – why don’t you tell us how you plan on spending your time after d-day? you got friends/family lined up to hang out with? overtime to work? hair appointments scheduled? do you have a list of movies/books you want to get caught up on. you going to take yourself on a “I’m back out here” shopping trip. quit the whining (about him), let’s talk action (about you).

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
2:51 pm

@Bluz ~ is that friend interested in YOU?

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
2:55 pm

I’m doing my best to keep my schedule busy. I’m working at the George Strait concert tomorrow night, working a benefit for a friend of mine on Sun, going to a dinner on Tues that benefits a charity I work for…after that, I’ll figure out ways to keep occupied. I have plenty to do around my house. I know that I have to keep busy to avoid falling into a deep depression (something I do struggle with). I have supportive friends and family, so I can always call on them to do something when I need to get out.

Honestly, I didn’t see it coming down this so soon, which is why it is really hard for me. Something happened last week that made me really start thinking about things. It was just this weekend that I made the decision to finally pull the plug. It should have been done a while back, but I kept hoping that it was just speed bumps and we’d come back stronger. After the last huge bump, I knew I wouldn’t be able to be stronger and it was time for us to just go our separate ways…

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:55 pm

And let’s tell others to quit enabling and fueling

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
2:57 pm

@Leggs…Not at all! He’s happily married with a son. He’s just being a good friend right now. My now ex may end up staying with him for a week or so until he finds a place to live permanently.

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
2:57 pm

Cel – I’m damn near textbook, clock work, to the tee. But I suppose that’s a good thing so it keeps down on any surprises. ;-)

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
2:57 pm

Because one inquiry tends to yield a book

disco

February 9th, 2012
2:59 pm

KB – I was hoping that your posts would reflect your coming actions/engagements and things that you had to look forward to and even then you bring it right back to him and how you feel about him. girl, I dare to say that – YOU ARE DOOMED. mind over matter. geesh.

where did exiled go? lol.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:00 pm

Exactly Slim. Funny thing about me is I usually have no symptoms…none Sometimes, like now I’ll bloat but it’s usually “arrived” when I wake up or if I have to get up in the middle of the night. But yeah, that’s one of the best things about clockwork.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:01 pm

@Bluz ~ only asked because I know happily married men will supposedly talk the “real deal” about another friend of theirs when they’re actually interested in the woman themselves!!!! Good, he’s just a good friend right now.

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:01 pm

And I’m reeeeallly trying to learn to be less brash and more considerate of others in this type environment. I tend to have VERY little patience just period and then very little patience for stuff that seems simple. So sometimes in an effort to be good, I just pass over so I don’t end up saying the wrong things.

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:03 pm

Please God don’t let me be doomed!!! I’m still trying to figure out things I’m going to be doing to help me get by. I always have things I can do, so I’m not too worried. I may try to go to my girlfriend’s in Warner Robins next weekend…

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:03 pm

Because even though I realize somebody came in and erased a good bit of my memory…lol…I’m sure somewhere many moons ago, I was probably doing the same thing. Not this EXACT same thing but I’m sure similiar.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:05 pm

@Celisea ~ I was thankful that during my jail time with Aunt Flow, I never had symptoms either. Well, I had 3 I labeled the 3 H’s = Hot, Hungry and Horny (lol).

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:06 pm

@Bluz ~ you’ve probably told us, but I can’t remember, how old are you?

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:07 pm

Leggs…even if that dude was interested, there would be NO WAY I would go there. He’s smart, though…he knows he’s got an awesome woman and he takes care of her!

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
3:07 pm

Sooo, what are everyone’s weekend plans?

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:09 pm

Lady-I was so hype when A.R. hit that 3 last night..I love Duke BBall, prolly cause everyone hates on them so much…

Blu-I have seen this episode before, don’t feed into the its an ex for a reason crap, love and commmitment is about timing…you referenced growing, and I do not doubt that you both may need to grow, experience other people, and whatever else the relationship needs….you also referenced full commitment!!!…it stuck out to me because, you guys were living together and playing house…this situation typically begins to dissolve when one party (the woman) begins to devalue the relationship because their has not been an offical engagement…in some cases its the right thing to do, but many times people disconnect themselves from their destinies only to meet on the other side of the circle, hope this is not your case considering the distress you appear to be experiencing over your decision. You went on to say he really didn’t do anything bad to you….hope your face doesn’t suddenly want its nose back!!

i'm swiss

February 9th, 2012
3:10 pm

Swiss now packing up a big azz fan, 2 ham sammiches and some Red Bull and heading over to Leggs‘ place…

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:11 pm

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:13 pm

Leggs – Prebaby, I was only having a cycle every 2 or 3 months so needless to say when I got pregnant….I got pregnant…lol Was on nothing, never used anything. Like I said we lived together. I had fibroids so you know the story there. That can be a freaking nightmare. Anyway, never cramped, ached…nothing. Once I got pregnant, I didn’t realize it for sometime. Had one in June (yes I remember) but wasn’t expecting another until August/Septemberish. Well by that time I was moody, crying and all over the place. Oh and don’t let me forget hungry all day. Did a pregnancy test…positive. Went to the doctor and I was 11 weeks.

After kid and removal of fibroids, it’s been smooooooth sailing every since. Two – three days tops. No cramping, nothing heavy…just the irritation of having one. lol

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
3:16 pm

My weekend is up in the air…nothing definite. Just talked to a friend about possibly seeing Denzel’s movie. That’s all for now.

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:16 pm

Boy, I can always get a laugh from you swiss! :lol: :lol:

@Bluz ~ 32. I thought you were in your 30’s.

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:20 pm

@Jake…no, he didn’t do anything really bad to me, but he didn’t consider me in some decisions and seemed to push my feelings to the side. I don’t think he meant to intentially hurt me, but he didn’t consider me…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:20 pm

@Jake ~ I tried to summon you on Tuesday when I first got sick. Since you know the block I live on thought I could get you to bring me some soup and juice.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
3:24 pm

Leggs, don’t be loaning out the “Purple one” to Slim. LOL

Bluz, if that guy said anything about your ex/ his friend to you. HE IS NOT that guys friend and he has an ulterior motive with you. DOn’t be fooled about that. A friend would not throw his friend under the bus no matter if it would hurt you or not. Him being happuly married doesn’t me anything.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
3:25 pm

I like Jake’s post

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:25 pm

Naturally, I thought of that Purple.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

February 9th, 2012
3:26 pm

Hey Leggs, I hope you feel better, I would have been happy to do that for ya, was out of office a couple days…btw, I am close proximity right now, if you Need something…

Bluzgirl

February 9th, 2012
3:29 pm

Purp…he wasn’t throwing him under the bus…just stating that he has known him for a long time and loves him to death, but knows he isn’t right for me because he just can’t settle down and commit, which is what I want. He was not being mean at all about him. He knows me pretty well too and he just agreed that I deserve someone who puts me as a top priority and that ex may never be able to do that…

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
3:29 pm

@Jake ~ thanks buddy, but I now have everything I need to fight this cold.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
3:33 pm

Bluz, that was game and by man law definition he was throwing him under the bus