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Lingerie a risky gift?

That so called “romantic holiday” that is less than a week away has some people all in a tizzy. When you are in the “casual dating” stage, things may be a little confusing on which way to go. What do you do when you aren’t exclusive, but definitely more than just friends, and headed toward romance?

One reader wants to know if he should purchase lingerie for a woman he has feelings for and wants to let her know. I don’t think lingerie is a good gift idea for someone you are just dating. It can be a risky option since it sort of screams “I want to see you in it for about 30 seconds” – which may be the point, but is it the right time?

Are their certain gifts that you should definitely steer clear from just to be safe?

Have you ever given or received lingerie or sexy items as a gift from someone you were seeing? How did you/they react?

What is the sexiest thing someone has ever given you?

A guy once gave me a porn video. Seriously, he literally gift wrapped the thing! I’m no prude (by any stretch of the imagination) but that did not win me over.

Here is a tip for you: Never give porn to someone you actually want to impress. You’re welcome.

362 comments Add your comment

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Lily

February 9th, 2012
7:00 am

This is telltale sign. Unless you are absolutely certain, never do it. The alway say when deciding, say whether or not you should wear a certain outfit or item of clothing to work. If you are unsure then don’t. I think the same rule of thumb can be applied here.

Unless two people have decided on exclusivity, then no I don’t a man shouldn’t shop lingerie. It may send the wrong message. Especially if you have not been intimate.

Lily

February 9th, 2012
7:07 am

I was actually saying a man shouldn’t shop for women’s lingerie

Mr Miss

February 9th, 2012
7:22 am

I love shopping for my naughties and intimates. The very best gift I ever bought myself was a tie die tube sock, we’ve had so much fun. And even when wet and sticky, the colors never run.

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
7:38 am

The biggest RISK in lingerie is getting some with straps, snaps or buckles that are hard for the dude to unfasten.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
7:54 am

Good Morning! ;)

This guy told me recently many women have gotten away from wear matching underwear sets and that’s one thing he likes consistently. My response was as long as you contributing financially to your mate I am sure your want will be met. 0_o LOL!

I only received lingerie from ex hubby…….I’ve received gift cards to B&BW and VS but that is about it. I am really not into lingerie……..shrugs! LOL

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:04 am

BTW…

Ladies who wear LANE BRYANT “unmentionables” absolutely ROCK!!

Yum-Me !!!!!!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:06 am

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:09 am

Mr O I am laughing bc the dude I am referencing said he like Lane Bryant also

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:10 am

Hey, Lady~.

If a man is every going to be truly happy & content, he needs to be honest about what revs his motor.

I don’t any toothpick, twig-like legs wrapped around my behind.

Give me some CURVES!!!!!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:11 am

I hear you sir! :)

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:13 am

Fat, Obese Chicks? Uh, NO.

LANE BRYANT Ladies?

You suddenly have Mr. Obvious Wobbly Finger standing at attention.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:16 am

Mr O! Stop LOL! Flag on the play too damn early but I hear you! I am curvy and I am just not a shopper so I haven’t been there in a while. Maybe I need to swing by and see the latest and greatest! 0_0! ;)

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:19 am

Oh, Really…?

So, tell me, Lady~…

I know you mentioned you don’t particularly care about lingerie, but maybe that is because you haven’t had the chance to wear it for someone TRULY appreciative of your form.

Is there anything I could possibly get that Y♥U might like from LB for Valentine’s Day?

♥ ♥ ♥

(You’ve suddenly made it quite difficult to concentrate on work. Ergo, perhaps I could go shopping.)

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:22 am

Mr O! #speechless! wow!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
8:24 am

but seriously I am good! Valentines Day isn’t an open invitation as good as it sounds lol

Foxy

February 9th, 2012
8:29 am

Foxy thinks a gift card to the saucey store of her choice is always the right color and the right size! <3 :)

GM Kids!

killerj

February 9th, 2012
8:32 am

Your kidding me right?

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:34 am

The Gift That Keeps On Giving!

As good as it looks on the rack, it looks EVEN BETTER on the floor!

LOL

killerj

February 9th, 2012
8:37 am

Some of you need serious therapy

Mr. Obvious

February 9th, 2012
8:49 am

killerj,

If you honestly prefer a “FLATTY” behind on a girl that resembles a 12-year-old male instead of a curved & “fatty” one like a grown, mature woman has, perhaps you are the one in need of “serious therapy.”

Does that “j” in your “killerj” moniker stand for Jerry, Coach Sandusky?

Roberta

February 9th, 2012
8:56 am

So, one of your readers “has feelings” for someone and wants to buy lingerie for this person so she’ll know how he feels about her? Wow. No wonder you people are in your 30s and 40s and still single.

"ISO" Joe

February 9th, 2012
8:56 am

This is not as simple as yes or no….. If you go the Fredricks route and buy something with no crotch and the nipples cut out, then yeah…you might be crossing the line… but a nice, sexy shorty gown and robe set is a nice bridge between that and some stale ass Russell Stover candy….

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO (drumrolle please).....

February 9th, 2012
8:58 am

The nominees for craziest blogger on a blog

Optimus Prime “the second” – Not the original but the one yesterday married 11 years resembling Mr. Optimus Prime the original. The original blogged as status: “in a relationship” Twice divorce. Six years first marriage 7 years the second marriage. No 11 year run in there anywhere (lol)

Our next nominee is Robert – Mr. “R” blew his chance with Oprah at the ripe age of 7, was a month ago on the hunt for blog love and just as recent as yesterday admitted to finding it seductive watching his lady get undressed

Another great nominee is/are “The Racist(s)” – Can’t leave him/them out. We have been presented with such a presence during their stint in looking for a home. That’s usually seasonal though. Shhhhhh (whispering) He/they’re really just looking for a blog to wreak havoc

Last but certainly not least Mr. Multiple Personality – This gentlement comes with many faces and can harmoniosly become many person all at the click of changing monikers: Mr. BooHoo cry me a river because she found another, Ho-nan the wh@re hunter, Larry the low-hanging-fruit picker, Lucius looking for loose women

HONORABLE MENTION TO THE CRAZIES SHOWING UP HERE OF LATE. THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH PERFORMANCES TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS CATEGORY. Stand by, I’m sure we’ll see a lot more in the near future.

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
9:14 am

Good morning,

Can’t say I’ve ever received lingerie from someone I was dating. Anything sexy i’ve owned was purchased by ME

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:21 am

Morning All!

Slim, same with me. The closest I ever got to it was a VS gift card.

Curious George

February 9th, 2012
9:22 am

Perhaps even riskier than basic lingerie itself…

Combining both the tasty Valentine delicacy of chocolate/candy with the luxurious feel on lingerie, how do women feel today about receiving (or giving) EDIBLE Lingeries & Undies?

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
9:24 am

Morning,

I have but while living with someone. That sort of feels like it doesn’t count…lol

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:27 am

Oh, and when in doubt, don’t. Stick to the flowers/card/candy/dinner route. Or, if you know of something “safe” that she likes. Me & hubs had been dating about 4 months when Vday rolled around. He loves Kona coffee and it can be a little pricey. I got him $20 worth of Kona beans and put them in a gift bag along with a red mug filled with Dove chocolates. He was quite pleased!

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
9:29 am

I am treating myself to the norm Kimmie….salon time, nice dinner somewhere, wine my happy hour, and anything else I wanna do……starts today lol well really last night. Finally saw Red Tails and enjoyed that!

Celisea

February 9th, 2012
9:31 am

Just dating? I don’t want lingerie. I don’t think it’s appropriate. There are many thoughtful ideas and gifts one can buy without taking it to the lingerie. I don’t think VD is the official day, gauge or threshold for sex. I know sex comes to mind but really there’s a plethora of things you can do and buy sans lingerie.

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:33 am

Lady – Sounds nice!!

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
9:33 am

kimmie – For whatever reason, I think most men may feel a little awkward going to a spot like that trying to pick out something they think their lady would like to wear, feel comfy in, and not think it’s too raunchy. JUST CAN’T HANDLE THE PRESSURE! lol I like to stay in the Sexy-but-still-leaving-something-to-the-imagination type pieces. I would not want to jump out into the lane of TRASHY

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:49 am

Slim – I agree, that would be a lot of pressure for a guy!

Leggs

February 9th, 2012
9:50 am

WOW! Mr. Obvious and Lady, back that thang up and get a room (LOLOL).

Welcome all the newbies.

Lingerie to someone you’re newly dating doesn’t sound like a practical gift. It’s like leading with your d….

Good morning. Back on my couch wrapped in a nice warm blanket with a hot cup of tea.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
9:51 am

I would think buying lingerie is not a true expression of love and that it’s shallow. Then again, I really don’t go overboard for Valentine’s Day, I may get her some flowers but that is the norm whenever I get the feeling. This Valentine’s day I planned on doing something for the wife and the kid, but speaking with my brothers and father we are going to just take all of our households out to dinner as a family and give the ladies roses and nieces bracelets and the nephews watches. I am fine with that. But back to the point lingerie seems sexual in nature and that is not the point of that date….also a woman’s lingerie should always be on point…she doesn’t or shouldn’t need help from her man in that area…she should already have sexy stuff for herself and those two or three sets that drive her man wild should be in the back of the drawer.

kimmie - the original :)

February 9th, 2012
9:52 am

Spa gift cards are nice, a nice-but-inexpensive piece of jewelry, like a silver pendant or charm bracelet, Bath & Bodyworks smell-goods – all good but safe gifts.

disco

February 9th, 2012
9:55 am

hey y’all. good morning. I don’t have a problem with lingerie as a gift. if it is inappropriate I reserve the right to clown the person. a couple of years ago the most recent ex called himself buying me something from VS. it was a joke. something pink and orange with the little VS dog on it (can you say childish?). the saving grace was that he put money in the bag with the whack A underwear (that was usually his saving grace because he was an awful gift giver – this is the guy who gave me the steve Harvey book with money tucked inside the cover of the book).

I won’t lie. there have been times when I’ve been shopping and there was some bad A lingerie in the window. I didn’t have a problem letting it be known that I’d wear something like that. king street in Charleston comes to mind. there’s a window display at a store down there that catches my attention every single time.

Purple

February 9th, 2012
9:55 am

Slim, I love going into those stores. She has me pick stuf out for her and plus I get to see all of the other good looking women in there shop for theirs. LOL

Ladies, what are you getting the man/men in your life for Valentines Day?

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
9:56 am

Leggs – It’s okay to admit you have a Snuggie, I won’t make fun of you. j/k Feel Better ;-)

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
9:57 am

Purp – You don’t use the, could you let me see you in this because you’re close to my wife’s size, gimmick do ya?

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
9:57 am

Leggs dead on delivery! ha! know post that link! ;)

Purple

February 9th, 2012
9:58 am

Anyone ever received granny panties as a gift?

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
9:58 am

Slim I have a snuggie and it itches like hell lol prefer my robe! lol

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
9:59 am

Purp I brought them with my gift card! I like everyday panties no apologies either LOL my ex hubby was like OK but I said they came from VS so they are fashionable! 0_o lol

Purple

February 9th, 2012
9:59 am

Slim no I look strange the times when I have shopped in there by myself. I know exactly how her breast and ass fit in my hands so I just hold the bra or panties up to my hand to see how they fit. I have been spot on everytime!

Purple

February 9th, 2012
10:02 am

I really don’t think fat women should wear thongs or boy short panties. I think that is on the democratic ticket this year.

Lady~

February 9th, 2012
10:07 am

different strokes for different folks………..

SlimNu

February 9th, 2012
10:14 am

Purp – Well now I can see how that would make folks look at you strange, holding up bra’s all while cupping them with your hands to size it right. I would think you had some weird bra & panty fetish. lol Nope, never received granny panties as a gift from a guy. However, mom was notorius for giving Hanes Her Way as Christmas gifts, along with socks and t-shirts. Thanks ma ;-)

Lady – I can’t stand itchy clothes!