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Seduction not a one way street

A male reader wants to know why some women don’t feel the need to seduce their men. From his experience, he is always the one that initiates romance. Why is it important for women to seduce men?

I ask because I know some men have a thing about gender roles, especially when it comes to the bedroom. When a woman is the initiator, should she be concerned about how she goes about it? Is it there ever a concern about emasculating a man while trying to seduce him?

What do you think? What is your definition of seduction? Should seduction work both ways?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

147 comments Add your comment

Lily

February 8th, 2012
7:12 am

It’s out of sync with nature. I personally don’t want to keep tabs with who seduced whom last. It such a sad state of romance amd relationships when it comes down to tally strokes. Again, why do women have to now take on a man’s role? I’m not suggesting women shouldn’t or can’t, I’m simply saying a man shouldn’t assume a woman doesn’t want to because she doesn’t initiate. As long as a woman is engaged and responsive, then she’s happy to oblige. The sign of not wanting sex lies within nonresponsiveness not the lack of times she doesn’t jump start.

Princess

February 8th, 2012
7:49 am

Not an issue for my SO, he’s happy with flow and okay with our love life.

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
7:51 am

Good Morning~ Steamy Hump Day Topic!!! ;)

SlimNu

February 8th, 2012
8:04 am

Morning,

Um, every situation doesn’t involve the man always initiating. I have to say often times it’s actually me who is pulling ‘the 1st move’. Now this topic has me thinking what the heyal is up with that. :???:

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 8th, 2012
8:06 am

Good day everyone.

“What do you think? What is your definition of seduction? Should seduction work both ways?”

I think the issue this guy is having is that she is not trying seduce him because he is probably always trying to seduce her. She knows that he is always ready to get physical and she knows its there which is why she probably has no excitement. People like things because they are rare. He can get her begging for it by getting himself to stop begging for it. Sexual control!

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
8:08 am

Chuckle M.!!!!! Spontaneity does rocks! Impromptu acts are so cool and keeps the passion going!

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
8:09 am

& those acts can be done by both WITHOUT keeping score of who does what and when…………..

Robert

February 8th, 2012
8:25 am

“What is your definition of seduction?”

There is a thin line between being seductive or looking like a “slutt”. For example I love to watch my woman put on her clothes in the morning and smell her perfume which can be very “seductive” and increase my passion and desire for her. I hate to see a woman covered in tatoo’s (kids, old boyfriends names, etc.). I hate to see older women trying to dress like younger women (skinny jeans, tights, hair weaves, fake eyelashes, etc.) looking like a “slutt”. Ladies it is not attractive or seductive.

Mr. Unknown

February 8th, 2012
8:32 am

Good Morning,

What do you think? What is your definition of seduction? Should seduction work both ways?

I think it goes back to effort. I don’t want to make the first move all the time, becomes boring and predictable. Definition of seduction is to entice the senses. Yes, It should work both ways, not always the case. If she is really into you, theres usually no problem but a women trying to seduce is also some of the greatest entertainment ever! We are so simple to please, it really doesn’t take much. Just show the effort. I would like to know some of the effort that ladies put in to seduce their guy current or past.

Mr. Obvious

February 8th, 2012
8:55 am

Seduction only works if you have a person willing to be the “victim.”

Mr. Obvious

February 8th, 2012
8:56 am

By “victim,” I mean a jungle snake willing to slither into the first warm, moist den made available to it.

Mr. Obvious

February 8th, 2012
8:57 am

Prime Example:

Our 44th President was the “victim” of seduction by Mr. Larry Sinclair.

Mr. Unknown

February 8th, 2012
9:02 am

The ex took notes of my likes and dislikes. I was opening an email from a friend that had a picture of a woman in a fish net dress and I didn’t realize she was standing behind me. Soo my bottom jaw was wide open as I was saying a quiet damm to myself and she said loudly soo thats what you like, hmp and walks away! Saturday rolls around, she cooks my favorite meal and we decide to go out to have drinks. About the second drink in she leans in and shows me that she has on a fish net underneath her dress. At this point I’m ready to go, Im very excited smiling ear to ear and we had such a great convo about sex and desires. She hit all the points of seduction for me, Suprise, Teasing the right way, and the things that I like. No need to finish the story..

The entertaining part was when she took off the fishnet there were little X’s all over her body!! lol.. Have fun with it!!

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
9:03 am

creative and cute mr u!

Mr. Unknown

February 8th, 2012
9:26 am

Lady~ I thought so too! Would it be safe to say a lot of women are intimidated by the thought of trying to seduce their partner?

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
9:30 am

No sir its just a fine line I think. level of comfort among other things. for me I am passionate and I just have to be feeling you like that. why am I sitting here blushing and typing lol #dead LOL

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
9:35 am

I just got this silly message from a person on fb I prob haven’t seen in 17 years and it goes damn ________ I hadn’t heard or seen from you in like forever its like you lost out there in the world do you even come home during the holidays?!? Lawd the level of access to some folks that you just leave behind plus he poked me and prob will be deleted by 3! LOL

Mr. Unknown

February 8th, 2012
9:54 am

Hmm very passionate person thats a bonus for anyone dating you. “Blushing” Sounds like a thought or memory may have crossed your mind.
FB gives way too much access to the people you may dread from the past. I just block all access, Im not searchable. It just saves a lot of unnecessary convo about why am I friends with this and not me, are you trying to act brand new. I have really had these conversation before. I’m from a somewhat small town and everyone wants to be facebook friends with each other. Im too private for my buisness to find its way back to the home front.

Mr. Unknown

February 8th, 2012
9:55 am

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
9:58 am

so you feel me Mr U!!!!!! LOL good post sir! ;)

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
9:59 am

I am from a super small town as well and boy! LOL

Ms. Assertive

February 8th, 2012
10:00 am

I prefer it work both ways. The men I’ve dated appreciate not being expected to always be the aggressor. Just so happens I like being the aggressor. They say it’s a pleasant and welcomed surprise to break stereotypical gender roles. This gives me an opportunity to seduce, play, dance, strip, talk dirty, on occasion-show subtle domination, then allow them to lead when and if they want. They actually have gotten much more revved up after my initiation, so what I receive is with far more vigor than from playing a coy role! Negotiating sexual behavior between two partners – to me – is sexual freedom. Try it.

Mr. Unknown

February 8th, 2012
10:03 am

Alright Lady~ sorry I have to leave ya. Its been fun, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
10:07 am

you too Mr U!

Mr. Unknown

February 8th, 2012
10:11 am

Lady~ Professor just walked over and was like what are you typing over here. Ha! She saw the title and was like hmmm.. I told her that I have completed the next three chapters already. Nosey A#$!! lol.. She teaches directly from the book boring!! Anyway!! Im out.

Leggs

February 8th, 2012
10:12 am

Morning.

All I read was the first sentence of the topic and I immediately thought of the ways I seduce. Seduction shouldn’t be a one-way street. From the clothes I put on when I know we will see each other is a form of seduction, to the high heels and thigh high stockings, is a seduction, my conversation leading (everyday convo with innuendos of what’s to come) up to the negligee and heels I wear to bed is all a seduction!

Now, let me see if I’m remotely on target with the topic?

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
10:12 am

LOL #dead Mr U tell her to back up out your space!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy your day sir!

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
10:13 am

Hey Leggs glad to read ya! Hope you rested up and 100% today!

Leggs

February 8th, 2012
10:24 am

Thanks Lady. Not 100%, more like 75%, but I had a spreadsheet I needed to work on. May forward it home and work from them. Probably should have taken another day. Feel asleep at a stop light and this loud horn jolted me awake…not good!

Leggs

February 8th, 2012
10:25 am

Well, see I still can’t type the right words….

Sexy (my name is not Kizzy) Cool

February 8th, 2012
10:26 am

Hey ALL!!!

I like how Lilly put it. Tends to be my way of thinking more often than not.

However, TheDude has verbalized his desire that I initiate from time to time. So, I have no problem doing just that.

Although, I have to admit, my “seduction” usually amounts to little more than, “Come on over here and let me get some of what you’ve got.” (LOL – which is just fine with him.)

Back to Kizzying…

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
10:30 am

oh that is not good! I hate when that happens to me! Get some rest leggs after you finish up that work!

Celisea

February 8th, 2012
10:33 am

Why am I hearing “Let meeee, entertain yoooou” in the background? lol

Why does seduction have to be placed on a particular gender….male or female? Why does a man feel slated if he’s the one revving things up? I guess first off, if he feels an imbalance I would hope we can communicate rather than him “feeling” a certain way about it and never addressing.

Next, I don’t think the art of seduction solely lies within poles and stilettos and fishnet body suits. I think the art of seduction can heavily lie in what’s not spoken or overt. Possessing sexy just naturally. IMO and just my humble opinion, the root thus the art, is in how we ebb and flow. How we interact and exchange and how we feel about one another. From there, if I’m feeling you…like that….and you’re feeling me….like that, it’s just gonna happen. Seduction, all of it.

If it’s IMO way too intentional (not the same as a nicely planned day or evening..not talking about that), then it’s going to feel awkward. I think you can listen and feel a person out to know what they like but trying to do something “cause it’s my turn” or worry cause you feel like you’ve done it way more than I have just takes all the sparks out of it.

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
10:37 am

Why am I hearing “Let meeee, entertain yoooou” in the background? lol <<<<<<<Exactly C! SMH LOLOLOLOL!

kimmie - the original :)

February 8th, 2012
10:38 am

Morning all!

Leggs, please be careful.

On topic – When I’m really feeling someone and we are in tune with each other, I have no problem initiating, it’s a two-way street automatically, give and take. Thinking back in the past, if I was not really into a guy or we had issues, he did most of the initiating and it pretty much was just taking care of a need. Not so in a passionate, loving relationship like that with my husband.

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
10:59 am

Seduction and seducing shouldn’t be pulling teeth for either party…..it should flow effortlessly I feel even after the heated attraction fades……Keep it hot for each other even in simple ways…….its not rocket science but it can be a mastered art for the one you are digging! ;)

Leggs

February 8th, 2012
10:59 am

@Celisea ~ I have to agree with you in that seduction doesn’t rest exclusively on poles, clothes or heels. Mental seduction is the best form, anticipation carried up to the connection of two bodies meshing together into one movement is sexy.

Listen folk, without mental seduction there will be no form of physical seduction, unless you just want to jump someone bones because that’s all you require, a deep thrust with busting slob then wash up only to be shooed out the door. Then, no seduction require, just a room and a bed. Heck sometimes, the floor will do.

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
11:01 am

yep mental stimulation holds power and I feel it holds staying power!

Leggs

February 8th, 2012
11:13 am

That’s even better, Lady, it all boils down to staying power unless you’re looking for cheap thrills.

Lady~

February 8th, 2012
11:16 am

For Real

February 8th, 2012
11:19 am

What up blog fam!

After reading the Wise opening and reading the post, I convinced neither Wise or the majority of the bloggers here know the definition of seduction.

As Celisea stated, seduction is not gender specific. However, women have more to be seductive with than men do.

Seduction: (i) having alluring or tempting qualities; (ii) the enticement of a person to sexual intercourse; (iii) something that attracts or charms

Celisea

February 8th, 2012
11:26 am

Yeah cause a dude wanting me to put on something skanky cause he got aroused seeing somebody else do it ain’t it. Better not suggest it to me either…lol You can’t mimick or mock someone else. Seduction flows from within out.

For Real

February 8th, 2012
11:30 am

Leggs/Celisea: I understand what you are saying about the mental play but becareful not to project what floats your boat onto someone else. Different Strokes and alll…..

Oh and Leggs I think you mean without the physcial there would be no mental seduction. A dude spewing “I could search my whole life through and through an never find another you.” or “When you see a falling star to night, make a wish, it will come true because I wished and I found you.” or “If I had to choose whether to breathe or to love you, I would use my last breath to tell you that… I love you.” wouldn’t mean a dayum thing to you if he didn’t have a nose.

Chick: Ummm, Dude where is your fuggin nose??? I ain’t heard ish you said!!! How

kimmie - the original :)

February 8th, 2012
11:32 am

Celisea – Yeah, that “why don’t you dress like her” thing never worked with me! Just made me mad more than anything.

For Real

February 8th, 2012
11:35 am

Dude: Celisea I bought you a gift.

Celisea: Awwww thank you. What is it?

Dude: Open it and see.

Celisea: What is this? Where did you find this? How do you put this on?

Dude: Well when I saw Amberflip with it on I thought it would be perfect for you.

Celisea

February 8th, 2012
11:39 am

For Real – I don’t think I mentioned “Mental”….let me go back and read. I spoke more to the natural interaction between a man and woman. I spoke more to sexy being something naturally possessed.

Leggs

February 8th, 2012
11:40 am

@ForReal ~ I’m over here playing. No way am I trying to project what floats my boat onto any one here. No one here knows what truly floats my boat. I never really stated what it is. Just playing with words. The one true thing I have posted are those sexy thigh highs….

Again, that’s not what I’m saying. I said some don’t need the mental, just straight to the physical. And words like that being voiced by the one you’re involved with are beautfiul to hear.

Leggs

February 8th, 2012
11:41 am

A form of seduction is to see your mate across the room and the look in his/her eyes showing appreciation and desire is seductive (for me).

For Real

February 8th, 2012
11:42 am

My bad Celisea. It was Leggs. Here take this heart shaped fish sandwich as a token.

Celisea

February 8th, 2012
11:42 am

Kimmie – Exactly. That’s just plain ole weak. Don’t bring to me “stuff” and “how it with Sambooka”. Disconnect from the freaks you’ve had in the past before you approach me. I’m just saying. Nothing but horndogs have a one way of getting it done and usually it’s the skanky stuff. I like classy seductions. Don’t come to me either with stuff folks did for you that caused some breakage…lol I’m not damaging myself for your pleasure.

For Real – You’re a nut but yeah that about sums it up. He’s gonna get throat punched mentioning some other chick(s).