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Single files: Love living alone?

I read a recent NY Times article that said single people are relishing living alone..a lot:

“More people live alone now than at any other time in history. In prosperous American cities — Atlanta, Denver, Seattle, San Francisco and Minneapolis — 40 percent or more of all households contain a single occupant”

Count me in that “living alone and probably loving it waaaay too much” number because I have literally spent an entire weekend alone on my couch before – and loved it.

Just as the article states, single people living alone have a pretty active social life. We come home and relish our space as well as the peace and quiet. Perhaps this in some way becomes yet another barrier to any of us actually settling down?

Does the thought of sharing your “castle” make you want to prolong your single life? Do we get too comfy in our homes to give it up?

If you live alone, what is the best part of it? What is the worst?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

222 comments Add your comment

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
10:57 am

Leggs and C i just introduced my daughter to deodorant this week! she is growing to fast! I want my 6 month old baby back! 0_o lol

disco

February 7th, 2012
10:59 am

are we on kids now? my son used to be perturbed when i bent over to pick something up. he’d always tell me that I needed to bend at the knees and not have my butt all up in the air.

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
10:59 am

Candid Dude – Not knocking you….at all

Exiled!

February 7th, 2012
11:02 am

When u get to a stage when it’s not happening(getting married),u have to stare the Truf,no matter how unpalatable it is!

Women,based on meelo science,are known to be the most miserable,lonely and desperate creatures when marriage ain’t happening. This is proven.

But women are also good at fronting. Acting like it’s All good,especially when a majority of their high school buddies etc of same age,are married. Women,unlike men,are always doing comparisons,be it status,dress,career etc,with their mates.(reminds me of the AT&T commercial on boyfriend changing Facebook status)

So to spout here and say u are happy with being single(most of u ladies) is just a lie!

Blatant Lie!

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
11:04 am

he said stare @ the turf! #dead LMBAO! smh!

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
11:05 am

@Candid ~ not offended, just felt the response wasn’t realistic (lol). The “candor” on this blog is off the chain…I’ve always enjoyed it.

disco

February 7th, 2012
11:08 am

ex – we (or at least I) was spouting about being happy living alone. didn’t say a dadburned thing about being single. I really don’t want to be single but I definitely don’t want to be part of a couple just because it keeps me from being single. most of my friends beat me to the altar and a lot of those same friends got divorced and then re-married (technically beating me to the altar again). there was some envy (a wee little bit but I own it) about their getting married though no envy about their marriages/relationships at all.

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
11:10 am

Glad there’s only one Meeello science book on the market, because the stats therein are way off.

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
11:12 am

i said the older we get single we become set in our ways……that doesn’t equal to happy being single but their is a level of comfort of being a single woman inside and out. if a relationship occurs along the way I would happily welcome it if its what I want and not just because………can’t fill that void with anyone bc you will be right back single I think…..

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
11:12 am

meant there is not their #irksme lol

Exiled!

February 7th, 2012
11:14 am

@Disco..appreciate ur candor but when she asks(Diva) ‘u happy living alone?’,she knows there is a alternative to that. It’s implied.

I think if I were a lady,assuming I would carry over my character now,I would just say I am not happy living alone. I want a hubby,a mate etc.

This twisting of tongues and rolling of of and churning it just so u can couch the words differently is unnecessary spin! :lol:

I love direct str8 to the point!

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
11:21 am

@Ex ~ there are some who are happy single, never to be married, or never want to be married again. They’re not saying they want to hibernate all alone for the rest of their lives. We are on Earth to mingle with the opposite sex. Some marry, some cohabitate. And, there are many who truly enjoy living alone. Not everyone has a gregarious nature and not everyone wants to socialize (unfortunately) for whatever there deep seated issues may be.

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
11:25 am

Leggs I won’t shack again. sure I will remarry but that is about it with cohabitation ( I am not sure if sleep overs count) ….lol sheesh I haven’t had or been to a sleep over in a while…..but that’s a good think in the grand scheme of things……….. 0_o lol

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
11:25 am

meant good thing……smh my mind is far away today………i should have stayed sleep this morning

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
11:26 am

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
11:27 am

Not “stayed sleep,” but perhaps “slept longer” (lololol).

Exiled!

February 7th, 2012
11:28 am

they key word is ‘again’

I have yet to see and hear of a single woman,never married who does not Ever want marriage or co-habitation with a man.

And their faculties are on point. Never!

Now divorced,jaded,lesbo,angry,TinaTurnered,etc or some other condition is just that… a Condition. :lol:

Let’s leave that alone.

Exiled!

February 7th, 2012
11:28 am

Oh meant Leggs!

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
11:32 am

yeah I thought that after the fact thanks sis! #dead smh lol

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
11:33 am

disco

February 7th, 2012
11:39 am

If I were to be completely honest I’d say the number one selling point for me on marriage/shacking would be financial. heck, every month I write my mortgage check I think of how my quality of life could be improved if I was only responsible for one half of that amount. I imagine what I could drive for that money. the trips I could take for that money. the shopping sprees I could go on with that money. it’s a nice little fantasy. but then I have to tell myself that that money is what it costs to be able to enjoy living alone (which I do). am I saying that I couldn’t enjoy living with someone else? no, but I don’t know that I’d enjoy it more than I enjoy living alone.

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
11:39 am

The key word may be “again” for many, but there are women out here who never want to be married. Again, that’s not saying they don’t want to be in a relationship, they just don’t want to ever marry. Just like there are women who never want to have a child.

Already knew you were talking to me, Ex. Doesn’t matter, because where I sit, I’m cool. May not be in a relationship, but AGAIN, that’s a condition that will change.

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
11:41 am

but AGAIN, that’s a condition that will change. <<<<< I Likes! :)

Lady~

February 7th, 2012
11:45 am

dreads this part of the day! ugh! be easy crew check ya later!

kimmie - the original :)

February 7th, 2012
11:51 am

Exiled – I don’t know if you posted that day, but we recently had a topic about men not wanting to be alone. There are some men that, before the ink is dry on the divorce papers or the late wife is cold in her grave, they are with another woman. A lot of men out there don’t want to be by themselves for any length of time either, or else they are miserable and lonely too! Sometimes when you hear of women, and men, saying they are fine with being alone, they are making the best out of the situation. The world does not come to an end just because one finds themself single for an extended time. Their life still has worth, believe it or not!

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
11:51 am

Just got off the phone with my manager and I have my layout of projects (yes, moving into Project Management) from now until June… Can’t complain, I’ll be working independant most of the time….yaaaaah

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
11:55 am

Kimmie – Good post and good point. I think Mmeello always project on women from the inside out. Just because HE feels he can’t live alone or be without he automatically assumes that’s how the fairer sex are…really that’s not always the case. Give me peace and quiet any day over men that lie, men that cheat, men that try to play mind games, men that won’t bring it but will call you crazy if you call them out, men that are not forth coming….need I go on.

Who in their right mind wants to tolerate “less than” all for the sake of a warm body? I don’t. No fronting, no lying. Yes a STEADY SO is great, but I’ll take the current “dude you can hang out with…no drama” any day over weeding through rift raft.

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
11:56 am

You have it made in the shade, Celisea, with a better bonus to boot (lol).

@kimmie ~ Yes indeed!!

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
11:57 am

Leggs – I think I’m gonna like it. A bit intimidating I won’t live, especially preparing business reviews for the execs but that’s not due until June.

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
11:58 am

lie not live…oops

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
11:59 am

And really, the “dude you get to hang out with” is soooo much better company. Can’t say I’m silly enough to believe he ain’t got other stuff on his agenda but right now it’s not my agenda so, doesn’t matter here. It’s a peaceful environment and you can do you while I do me :)

kimmie - the original :)

February 7th, 2012
12:03 pm

Celisea – You hit the nail on the head for me! Yes, I wanted marriage and I am very happy it happened for me. But I will take alone and a bit lonely at times over a bad, unhappy marriage any day of the week.

We were talking on here once about traveling alone or with friends versus traveling with a SO. I’ve been on a few miserable trips with an SO where I would have much rather been either alone or with a few of my neices & nephews even.

Being “booed-up” is good when it’s good. When it’s bad, you may as well be alone!

Exiled!

February 7th, 2012
12:04 pm

Kimmie..I can understand that especially if the guy truly valued marriage but just couldn’t make it with this prior wife.

It can get lonely after all friends have moved on with their careers and wives and kids and u remain the constant.

Celisea? 11:55 so u can’t get One committed man? Why and who says u got to settle for a cheater. But does not finding the one and living Alone fulfill…

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
12:07 pm

A joke someone just sent me. Corny but cute :)

The Talking Centipede

A single guy decided life would be more fun
if he had a pet.So he went to the pet store
and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede,
(100-legged bug), which came in a little white box
to use for his house. He took the box back home,
found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off
by taking his new pet to church with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go
to church with me today? We will have a good time.”
But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit,
but he waited a few minutes and then asked again,
“How about going to church with me and receive blessings?”
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede’s house
and shouted, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me
and learn about God?” ….. you are going to love this…..
This time, a little voice came out of the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
12:08 pm

@Ex ~ you’ve been off the market for many, many years. Finding one who wants to “commit” is not as easy you might think. And, that applies to both men and women. Exclusivity is not an easy brass ring to grab hold of.

disco

February 7th, 2012
12:09 pm

speaking on living with folks – my mother has 11 brothers and sisters. I grew up with two younger brothers and really, truly feel like my parents ignored the memo that I wasn’t supposed to be the oldest but that I was supposed to be an only child. I’m always skeptical when my mom/aunts/uncles sit around and reflect on how fun it was growing up and how much they loved it. I honestly think they are reflecting with those rose colored glasses folks like pull out. I can’t imagine the chaos and stress of that many siblings. if you were older then you were taking care of younger ones. if you were younger you had umpteen folks always in your grill. just glad it wasn’t me. my best friend since childhood and I are the same age. I was my parents’ first child and she was child number 10 out of 11. she’s one of those folks that has never, ever lived alone. from father’s house to husband’s house and ultimately to second husband’s house.

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
12:09 pm

MMeello – Don’t play with. You can do “Switch The Words” with others but I’m not entertaining your foolishness.

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
12:13 pm

@Celisea ~ that joke is also indicative of what many do when asked a question. Respond with action, yet not verbalize and acknowledge they heard the question.

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
12:15 pm

Being the youngest of eight wasn’t always great

1. My sister killed my chicks (don’t even remember who gave to me) because I was too little to clean behind them so she’d been commissioned

2. I was very bow-legged when born and didn’t want until about 14 months. Mama said they wanted to put braces on my legs but she wasn’t having it. As a result, I had to be hand toted and carried by sibs.

3. My oldest sister would babysit me while mom’s worked and once I entered PreK. Getting out of school early, mind she’d was grown by then, I remember just about EVERYDAY she’d leave me in there and scare th bejesus out of me. She would run outside and hide and I would be searching frantically for her, when she appeared her eyes would be bucked and she’d yell the biggest “BOO!!” This happened EVERYDAY…except weekends. Who was I gonna tell and face her that forthcoming Monday???

4. My brothers would hold legs over my head…one would hold while the other hit me in the same spot to have a stinging effect

I could go on……………

kimmie - the original :)

February 7th, 2012
12:16 pm

Exiled – I said all that to say, while most would love a nice companion, everyone is not climbing the walls and desperate if they don’t.

What you said about friends & family moving on can be true though. My hubs was just talking to a friend of his from back home. He is 45 and still talking about going to these parties & clubs and meeting different women & drinking. He’s never been married and neither has his older sister. He was raised by a single mother. He meets some nice women, but as soon as they want to settle down, he finds some reason to kick them to the curb. This last one he let go seemed to kind of bother him and he told my hubs about it. There was nothing wrong with her, he admitted. My hubs had told him before if he found a nice lady he needed to put a ring on it and not let her go or he’d regret it.

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
12:16 pm

Leggs – Yep

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
12:20 pm

Since it was a talking centipede, why couldn’t it answer while putting on all those shoes (lol)?

@Celisea ~ many of my friends believed I was an only child because I rarely spoke of my siblings. Two brothers and one sister. Never go along with my sister. Our fights were horrible. To this day, her mere voice irritates me. One day she kicked me in the weakest part on my body (my stomach – grew up with severe stomach aches). I retaliated by throwing all her clothes in the alley. I got in a lot of trouble, but to this day still feel good that I did it!

disco

February 7th, 2012
12:21 pm

whew. nothing like a broken hearted man.

disco

February 7th, 2012
12:25 pm

leggs – I have friends with older sisters who have straight up war stories. these women still fear their big sisters to this day. not having sisters (and being the oldest anyway) I guess I don’t understand. three of my friends have hilarious stories of their older sisters choking them. my mom’s youngest sister is a female bully, a living terror in the streets and yet she is straight punked/humbled around her big sisters.

Exiled!

February 7th, 2012
12:29 pm

Kimmie?

To be honest tho if I were to date again for marriage I would not give a single 40 plus never married chic any look.

My stance would be why has everyone skipped her.

45 tho is young…I will give him a pass on the clubs. Does dude have money?

Only other scary thing with being unmarried with no kids is not having a support system.

And in this country if u don’t have a good bank account hmmmmmmm,scary!

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
12:31 pm

My sister is older than me, but me being as fiesty as I am never, ever feared her. I was the quick one. I won some, lost some. One day I jumped on her back like a fly on an elephant and was tossed all around the room with her knocking me into our bedroom wall. Put a hole in the wall and she got tarred and feathered by Mama!

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
12:38 pm

Leggs – That’s par for the course with sibs…lol

disco

February 7th, 2012
12:44 pm

celisea – yep. and that’s why I’m glad I’m the oldest. growing up my mother always told me that my brother would one day be bigger/stronger than me and I needed to quit picking on him. one day he was bigger and stronger than me. not sure how old we were but when he did get bigger/stronger and we had our first major fall out I quickly realized I couldn’t fight him the same way anymore. I hit him in the face with a chair and chipped his tooth. he never really tried me anymore after that. my mother still kids about the fact that both of my brothers are likely going to gang up on me one day.

Leggs

February 7th, 2012
12:53 pm

@disco ~ you hit him in the face with a chair. WOW. Hope it was one of those little plastic chairs kids sit on and not a kitchen chair (lol). You straight bad ass (but we already knew that..lol).

@WillieD ~ you still want to trade her to your team. She’ll kick all your butts (lol). It’s best she stay on our side. We need a new captain for the slap-a-ho tribe!!!

Celisea

February 7th, 2012
12:56 pm

disco – That’s funny. I was the whipping girl for a while and mainly by the younger sibs…almost on a daily basis. I had too much mouth, they said and I told EVERYTHING.

I will NEVER forget the time my mama went somewhere and I must have been about 5. All I know is there was much company in the house. Well well all the good times had rolled, they had me pinned in a corner coaching me on what to say or not. I was like, okay…got it. As soon as my mama walked in (AND I’LL NEVER FORGET THAT MOMENT OR DAY), I said “NOBODY WAS KISSING AND NOBODY WAS IN THE BED.” Yikes! My mama went to swinging on EVERYBODY…except me of course. LOLOLOL…I honestly believe the Good Lord has a way of policing when mama can’t be there. I don’t even think I thought about it…it just fell out of my mouth.