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Looks or Personality?

Have you ever been faced with the dating dilemma of picking looks over personality? I didn’t realize this is so commonplace, but a couple of my guy friends tell me they deal with this all the time. They may meet two women they are attracted to and will pursue both for a period of time. Then they have figure who they are attracted to the most.

My friend Brad says that often times the personality enhances a woman’s looks, but there are times when it does not. He has noticed that a bad attitude on a good looking woman can become tiresome…”eventually”, that is.

How do you rank personality and looks in importance?

Have you ever picked looks over personality and regretted it later? Did you ever date someone because of their personality and passed up a more physically attractive person?

It may seem like a shallow question, but can your looks make up for a less then stellar personality?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

241 comments Add your comment

KaiserSoze

February 2nd, 2012
7:08 am

Although there has to be some degree of physical attraction Personality trumps looks every single time. Looks fade. You have to enjoy spending time with someone, and if their personality is dead you just won’t.

I find myself becoming more physically attracted to a woman the more I enjoy her personality.

Lady~

February 2nd, 2012
7:27 am

Good Morning~

Lady~

February 2nd, 2012
7:32 am

I’ve always picked personality over looks……..I remember my wedding planner back then call us ebony and ivory…….we seem to be a mix matched couple based on looks but our personalities matched somewhat prior to the other stuff that didn’t mesh…..

Moving forward I still focus on personality however here lately its been great eye candy passing through with a great personalities too. So we shall see what my future hols with meshing the two.

Substance all day though.

~Beauty is in the eye of the beholder~ ;) & only skin deep if I may add……….

Lady~

February 2nd, 2012
7:34 am

*holds* that is….

nelsonh

February 2nd, 2012
7:39 am

I had another great comment, where is it?

Foxy

February 2nd, 2012
8:03 am

Foxy Loves a man who can make her laugh. Foxy will take personality over size any day. lol

GM Kids!

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 2nd, 2012
8:26 am

Good day…

“How do you rank personality and looks in importance?”

Obviously looks arent everything but they help. Personality is important also but people forget that the looks attract you when you first meet someone not the personality. The personality upgrades your interaction with the person.

People mess up because they pretend that they ignore the looks and like they dont matter. Looks do matter, though its not politically correct to say. I think if people were more honest with themselves and what they are looking for, the dating scene would be better off. If she has a great personality awesome but you still want to be attracted to the person.

My friend gave me good advice, always go for someone that is attractive to YOU! Most people just want someone to impress other people!

LeeH1

February 2nd, 2012
8:31 am

Looks will get you a date.

Personality will get you a spouse.

D Dub of the ATL (back to his roots)

February 2nd, 2012
8:31 am

As a general rule, looks will get the ball rolling… the personality keeps the ball rolling. It’s a hard thing to balance out, but looks will definitely get you in the door, and how you act once you’re in there will determine whether you get to stay or get kicked back out of said door.

D Dub of the ATL (back to his roots)

February 2nd, 2012
8:32 am

“Looks will get you a date. Personality will get you a spouse.” @LeeH1 – Love it!

CoolShadow

February 2nd, 2012
8:34 am

Personality and looks are very important and the striking the balance varies by the person of interest. I agree with Wise’s friend Brad says that personality enhances a woman’s looks. Conversely, if she has a stank attitude it could also detract from her beauty. For the ones that possess both in great capacity, that’s low-hanging fruit.

Lady~

February 2nd, 2012
8:46 am

Isn’t it fair to assess over a period most of your former mates and current one has a common physical trait that keeps attracting you to him or her?!?

Lady~

February 2nd, 2012
8:46 am

or to that type if you will…..

SlimNu

February 2nd, 2012
8:54 am

Morning, bah humbug :roll:

Leggs

February 2nd, 2012
9:08 am

Good morning.

How do you rank personality and looks in importance? – Personality gets 90% and looks get 10%. You have to not hurt my eyes when I do look at your or turn my stomach. Other than that, we’re good. Personality, pleasant personality, is invaluable to be honest.

What’s wrong, SlimNu! I say bah humbug a lot (lol).

Robert

February 2nd, 2012
9:14 am

“How do you rank personality and looks in importance? ”

People can change their look but not their personality. For example women can buy a hair weave, fake eye lashes and wear a padded bra and padded underwear to enhance their looks. Men can shave their heads (fake Michael Jordan look) and put on a suit and tie (no blue jeans, sneakers and baseball caps – ATL look). You can change your appearance but you can not change who you are – your personality.

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
9:19 am

Morning,

Honestly speaking, while I’ve NEVER been hung up on looks, I’ll say I’ve dated some pretty nice looking guys over the years but the ones that REEEEEEEEALLY got to the core of me weren’t ones that would turn heads (sans kid’s dad). It’s not a “either/or” for me….looks or personality. If I had to pick one though, it would be personality. What I find to be turnoffs are not issues related to looks.

What REEEEALLY strikes it with me is a well put together man as a whole. I’m not impressed by degrees, your big words, educated in every way but not a stich of common sense nor compassion. I’m not impressed by material yet I like a man that’s got it going on.

Most times it’s been more so if he’s a dweeb or dufus (not a geek…that’s different). Trying to be more than what he is or something he’s not. Oh, and men that are straight out wh@res.

Lady~

February 2nd, 2012
9:29 am

I’m not impressed by material yet I like a man that’s got it going on.<<<<<<<<In a subtle way rocks….

~Confidence is sexy and compliments your being~

kimmie - the original :)

February 2nd, 2012
9:31 am

Morning Gang!

M dot, I can relate to your post the most this morning and appreciate your honesty on the subject!

To quote Judge Judy – “Beauty fades, dumb is forever”!

I’ve never really been in an either/or situation with this. If I was considering dating someone, there had to be SOMETHING that physically attracted me from the get-go, before personality ever came in play. To be honest, if I found a guy physically repulsive, all the personality in the world would not get me past that point. I’m being honest. But I have seen some beautiful men that had a straight-up stank attitude and they had zero shot with me as well.

Something physical that attracts ME is needed, might not be what everyone else finds attractive, and a pleasing, intelligent personality.

I need both.

Lady~

February 2nd, 2012
9:33 am

Kimmie no lie as of here lately >>>>>”Something physical that attracts ME is needed, might not be what everyone else finds attractive, and a pleasing, intelligent personality.”<<<<<<This has started to make sense with me.

Both is needed somewhat!

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
9:35 am

I wonder (just thinking out loud), or I’m guessing (I could be wrong), this is more of an issue/hangup for men than women. Don’t get me wrong, we can all appreciate a handsome, crisp, well put together, fine…whatever, man. I would bet though most women would appreciate one that’s good and good to and for her with a buttload of character.

Imma guess that men don’t really get into the depths of her (no pun intended), until he’s well past how fine of a specimen.

disco

February 2nd, 2012
9:37 am

good morning gang. I’ve always had what I refer to as a high tolerance for ugly. never been into the pretty boys to begin with. I’m more shallow when it comes to physical body types than I am when it comes to the head shot. handsome but flabby won’t cut it. ugly but in good shape and I can work with you. personality, of course, is extremely important but as most of us admit you don’t have to look personality in the face. many have stated that personality enhances looks. true, but you still have to put a face on personality. hope it’s a face you don’t mind looking at.

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
9:42 am

“an either” not “a either”

Lady~

February 2nd, 2012
9:45 am

needs and wants…..its a fine line…… ;-)

M. (pronounced M dot)

February 2nd, 2012
9:53 am

@Kimmie

Agreed I need both. Its like when people are wondering why people arent getting married, sometimes physical has something to do with it. You are planning to be with this 1 person forever; wouldn’t you want them as easy on the eyes as possible? Also there is somebody for everybody!

Purple

February 2nd, 2012
9:55 am

Looks get me interested I mean I have never aproached an ugly woman and rely on the fact that shey “may” have a good personality. So I would say personality matters but if she were ugly I would never be in a situation to get to learn her personality. I guess that is a plus with folks who internet date….you get to find out a persons personality over time loud and clear before you meet.

disco

February 2nd, 2012
10:04 am

m. dot – lots of folks get married for reasons other than love. guess they might not mind so much being married to someone they weren’t that attracted to.

purple – as for online dating, I think that’s a positive and a negative. positive if you get to know and like the personality first and you still are attracted to the person when you finally meet. negative if you get to know and like the personality but the actual physical person is more than you can bear to look at it. then you feel cheated. like you wasted your time and like that person somehow could have, should have let you know they were that tore up.

kimmie - the original :)

February 2nd, 2012
10:07 am

The beautiful thing is that, like M dot said, there is someone for everybody.

There is a lady I worked with that has a great personality, but she is very overweight and has an average face. Her daughter kept telling her she was just like her best friend’s dad personality-wise and that they really should meet. It did sound like they would hit it off. Well, he saw her when he came to pick his son up and it was awkward. She said “nobody wants to take the fat lady to the dance”. She played it off, but I could tell it hurt her feelings.

Lady~Don't believe the hype

February 2nd, 2012
10:12 am

I am totally losing today (nothing it working properly ugh). I want to leave work and just go have brunch and make it a me day! sigh

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
10:12 am

Yeah and being hung up on looks tend to get the better of folks. Look at Demi. You better make sure you’ve got something going on besides look. Because rest assured as sure as you’re living and keep living, it’s going to fad.

Purple

February 2nd, 2012
10:13 am

disco, good point.

Lady~Don't believe the hype

February 2nd, 2012
10:14 am

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
10:15 am

Lady, I did that yesterday. My manager screwed me on my bonus and I was royally ticked so I didn’t come to work…sue me She called me first thing this morning playing nice and “checking up on me…making sure I was okay” she said. I was as polite but as dry as a potato chip. She knows she was dead wrong. I get money but not my normal and the norm I’ve gotten since 1999.

Woo sah

kimmie - the original :)

February 2nd, 2012
10:16 am

Celisea – It is said that females are the fairer sex. I think society accepts that men put more stock in looks. Of course it will all boil down to personality and someone they can get along with in the end, but most men seem to appreciate that arm candy initially. Whereas with women, we are supposed to be more accepting of less attractiveness in men, because other factors like power, money, strength, etc, factor in our attraction.

Just my theory.

Lady~Don't believe the hype

February 2nd, 2012
10:16 am

C its a thin line and you know it! its funny when you get that “are you OK” call or text…hell mine text sigh smh

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
10:16 am

And “the norm” has been nothing close to chump change.

Lady~Don't believe the hype

February 2nd, 2012
10:18 am

LOL Don’t paly with your money honey! ;)

czBrat

February 2nd, 2012
10:19 am

HiYas!

i’m splashing around over here in the shallow end of the pool coz i’m most def into looks. you have to WOW me with those gorgeous eyes and beautiful smile before i develop any interest in what more you have to offer. i’ve been fortunate that the gents i’ve had long-term relationships with had amazing personality to go along with their handsome.

i did get involved with one guy that i did not find physically attractive specifically because i wasn’t looking for something serious. he turned out to be a great person, but that was never going to be “forever” for me because he wasn’t my idea of good looking. (i know! i know! :oops: )

anywho, i do my best to offer both good looks and great personality, so when it comes to a life-match i’m gonna look for the same. even shamar will get the door slammed in his face if he’s a dog-kicking a-hole.

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
10:19 am

Exactly Kimmie. Funny you say that because when I met someone here (on the blog), “they” said, funny thing, all the women they’ve met (from the blog) so far stacked better than the men they’ve met (from the blog)….overall I thought that was funny. That was said about 10 minutes after we met.

I hope “they” won’t shoot me for putting this out here…lol

disco

February 2nd, 2012
10:21 am

celisea – and where do they get off thinking it’s their place to “check up on you”? in their mind it’s being nice and polite and showing concern (fake behinds). in my mind it’s nosey. don’t be calling me at home. uggh.

a friend just told me at dinner the other day that at her review she was given a 10% raise and a bonus. I was like must be nice….

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
10:21 am

Too Kimmie,

Mr “Krytonite” for me wasn’t all that handsome (in the face) but a very nice body (we’d run around the track together). I ran in high school but he did it professionally for a while, about 10 homes and a condo, not to mention his ride and deep deep pockets. Seriously.

It was none of that though…he was as sweet as ever. And while I can be considered a blade to some, he thought me to be just as sweet.

Lady~Don't believe the hype

February 2nd, 2012
10:24 am

C my Mr “Krytonite” was the exact opposite I promise fineness doesn’t work in my favor meaning all fine and nothing else to offer…..just a great lay! :) lol

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
10:24 am

disco – I’m here today…she called me here after a couple of emails that I didn’t answer and have myself showing as “offline”…so she called me. It was weird too. I didn’t say anything. She just said “good morning so and so, just checking on you to make sure you’re okay” Yeah, I almost stayed out again today. I went car shopping with my sister and had a day on the town.

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
10:25 am

But you’re right disco…I’d say that’s guilt and her conscious

Celisea

February 2nd, 2012
10:27 am

Hey Lady – Fine and a superb lay AND NOTHING ELSE, was the kid’s dad. Got the tshirt for that too. I don’t want to EVER get that again. Give me ugmo if you’re an fine but empty shell

Lady~Don't believe the hype

February 2nd, 2012
10:28 am

mine was my post divorce relationship! whew lawd! That song by Estelle Thank You is dedicated to that brotha! lol

Lady~Don't believe the hype

February 2nd, 2012
10:32 am

about 10 to 15 years back I noticed a pattern of me downplaying looks thinking it would suffice somewhat but both is needed…..what I fine truly attractive physically and not compromising

czBrat

February 2nd, 2012
10:34 am

what I fine truly attractive physically and not compromising
good! now i don’t feel so bad. :grin:

disco

February 2nd, 2012
10:35 am

didn’t somebody on here say once that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder but ugly is fairly universal” (or something like that)

kimmie - the original :)

February 2nd, 2012
10:45 am

One of my childhood friends has always been the jealous type. She is funny about bringing her men around other women. I’ve told her several times that she has absolutely nothing to worry about from me. NONE of her men over the years have been my types AT ALL! She likes the fat, teddy bear types. She still always thinks somebody wants her men though!