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Archive for January, 2012

Dating: Dealing with rejection?

If you haven’t figured it out by now, you need a healthy dose of self-esteem to date in Atlanta. Some of us walk around with over inflated egos – and that can be annoying – but it certainly would serve you well to be self aware.

Dealing with rejection is something that women never ever ever get used to. Our egos are fragile and a lot of times, we don’t understand how any man would not want to be with us! This means that there are times when women will preemptively dump a guy because they foresee that he may do the same to them.

Guys, have you ever been dumped by a woman you were seeing and it took you by surprise? How did you handle it? Did you realize that she was using you as a fling or boy toy for entertainment purposes only?

I know men get the label as the heartbreakers, but I know plenty of women that are pretty brutal in their dating ethics. Those self-serving, self-absorbed girls give single women a bad name in this city. If you meet one, tell her I have a bone …

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Why do men hate to be alone?

This NY Times article posed the question: Why do men hate to be alone? Initially, I didn’t agree that was the case, then I remembered that out of my divorced friends, the men seemed to be quick to have a full committed relationship, some even remarried right away.

While my never married male friends seem to relish the perks of bachelorhood, when they leave long term relationships, they seem to feel a void. They go through this “nestling” phase where they want the first woman they find attractive to start playing house and fill the void. It’s basically the worst case of rebound girl ever.

Maybe men really do hate being alone? Well, hate it more than women do! Are women more resilient when it comes to being on our own?

There was one part of the article that struck me, though:

A marriage is a lot of work. Strike that. A man is a lot of work. Anyone who has been in a bad marriage knows that its defining characteristic is the unspeakable loneliness in which one feels …

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Signs the relationship is over

Sometimes a relationship starts to come apart slowly, unraveling like cheap clothing. You see and feel the difference but you don’t want to be the one that brings it up. You hope things will get better but they only get worse.

A lot of times, breakups are inevitable but how do you know when it is really over? Every couple go through tough periods, but how can you tell it’s a rough patch or the end of the road?

What are signs that a relationship is over? Would you try to stay and find a way to make it work if you have signs that the other person has given up?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating

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Dating: Are we too quick to judge?

Have you ever met someone who saw you and gave you one look and tried to figure you out? It’s pretty annoying and slightly rude, but a lot of us do it without even knowing it.

We look at the smallest things and decipher the strangest things based on superficial stuff. I know a woman who thinks a man’s shoes “says a lot about his character” and rules men out because of it. I know a guy who won’t date a woman if the inside of her car is a mess.

What do you think? Are these things super ridiculous? Are we too quick to judge a person based on random observations? Is it ever helpful?

What kind of things do you notice when you first meet someone?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Dating: Are we too quick to judge? »

Why is the Lunch Date Popular?

We have a guest blogger today! Brian Jenkins has a timely topic about the lunch date trend. Check it out:

In our fast-paced world, lunch dating is increasingly popular with busy professionals. The lunch date is ideal because it isn’t as complex as the dinner date – it’s more relaxed and doesn’t have the pressure associated with a dinner date. It’s much, much easier to be yourself.

An offer for a lunch date is also more likely to be accepted by the person you’re interested in than is a dinner date. Besides, since lunch dates are shorter, you only have to be on your best behavior for a little while.

The best time to ask for a lunch date is when you’re feeling a good vibe during a casual conversation. It’s easier to ask for a lunch date if the offer flows with the conversation and doesn’t take center stage.

For women who don’t have a lot of experience asking a man out on a date, the lunch date is a great way to go. Many women find the lunch date offer fairly easy and if they get …

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Should parents pick your mate?

Whenever I hear the words “Let me introduce you to my son”, I already know which direction the conversation will go. I hear it a lot, actually. What can I tell you? Mothers love me. I’m like the Mom Whisperer or something.

For years I have graciously declined the meet my son offers. I figured that well-meaning mothers really don’t know for sure if I am a good match for their sons. Further, how many men would actually look forward to being hooked up by their Mom?

Then I met a guy this weekend who is the son of a woman I have known for years. The fact that he is crazy handsome, successful, and charming as they come sort of changed my notion about Mother Matchmakers.

Maybe our Mothers really do know best and is it terrible to let them do a little matchmaking every know and again? Would you be open to being introduced to a potential match that your parents selected for you?

Have you ever met someone through their parents and things went really great?

On a semi-related …

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Elaborate date thing of the past?

My friend Chris was lamenting about the return of the reality show The Bachelor. He is convinced that single women watch that show to live vicariously through the women who get to experience those lavish, over the top, not gonna happen in real life – dates. He says that men don’t do that anymore! Are elaborate dates really something considered old school?

I suppose our definition of elaborate may have changed as well. It doesn’t mean single people aren’t putting any effort into cooking up elaborate and wildly romantic dates. I think they are – it’s just more practical (economy!), more thoughtful, and possibly less opulent.

Guys, do you think that women expect too much elaborateness on dates? Would you ever set up an “elaborate” date with someone you really liked?

What do you consider elaborate?

What is the most elaborate date you have been on?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta, Dating Blog

Happy Friday!

Continue reading Elaborate date thing of the past? »

Is your date boring?

Have you ever been out on a date and it was a complete snorefest? Did you find yourself zoning out or your mind wandering off somewhere else? Is it a bad sign that your date is a boring person?

I don’t know how much “excitement” a person should bring to your life -but I definitely would not want to be someone who I found boring. I was watching Downton Abbey last night and one of the characters said: “A woman can’t love a man if she thinks he is boring” and I agree..for the most part.

While I don’t want boring and dull – I don’t know if I would mesh well with the wrong kind of excitement. I’m pretty tame, so exciting to me would be a guy who likes to trekked across the world and experience interesting things. Or someone who wants to change the world and contribute something positive. I’m a “reasonable” square that way, I guess?

What sort of exciting things would you like to see in a potential match?

Do you think you are boring? Is your conversation a little flat? What do …

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Best city to find a date?

Thank you Atlanta! You have topped another list of best cities to find a date. This means that if you are dateless in Atlanta – it’s you with the problem! Just kidding – sort of.

Atlanta has been consistently named as one of the best places to land a date. According to the Daily Beast, we have the single people (with jobs!), money to invest in dating costs, and enough mentally and physically healthy people that are out on the dating scene.

This is all encouraging news, of course. You are in the right place to find a date. You only need to put some effort into actually finding a date. Staying home every night is not going to cut it! Just because the city is teeming with single people ready to mingle, does not mean they are going to show up on your doorstep!

What do you think of Atlanta’s ranking as #1 city to find a date? Would you agree? Have you tried dating in other cities?

If Atlanta is the best place to find a date, I wonder what city would be ideal to find a date …

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A year without sex?

I was watching a CNN report about a DJ in Canada that decided to abstain from sex for all of 2011. He survived and lived to tell! When I asked a few of my guy friends if they could go that long without, a lot of them said they could, they have, and they are doing so now. Shocking, isn’t it?

What if single people purposely took a year off from sex? Do you think the quality of our dating experiences would change? Could we even manage land a date?

When we take sex out of the equation, would our relationships stand a better chance of survival?

How much clarity do you think it could bring?

It’s only the third day of the year, maybe some of you will spend the next 362 days in a self-induced dry season? What do you think?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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