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Misadventures in Atlanta

Dating: Afraid to show true colors?

5:00 am January 30, 2012, by Wise Diva

I have a friend who has extreme anxiety about “letting it all hang out” with her man. The lengths that she goes through to put her “together” side front and center seems a little exhausting! I am much too lazy to do all that for a guy. Why are many of us afraid to show our true colors to the person we are seeing?

Obviously, we all date a person’s “representative” on the first couple of dates. At some point though, you have to drop the pretense and be your authentic self. Who wants to get up at 5:00 am and put make up on for a guy? Why would you spend loads of cash on a woman when you are on a budget to save money?

Have you ever had a difficult time being yourself around the person you are seeing?

Have you ever noticed when the person you are dating finally “relaxed” around you? Did it make a difference?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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126 comments Add your comment

Into the Light

January 30th, 2012
8:02 am

(ITL turning on the lights and the coffee pot)

Morning, all! Happy Manic Monday.

I understand the topic, as I’ve seen it in action, but I don’t understand why people do it. How can you really get to know the person you are seeing, if no one is being real?

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
8:09 am

Good Morning Morning! :)

Yes filtering through a Representative can be challenging and confusing. And the lengths some go through to put on is reprehensible.

It does take some time to get comfy in their own skin through some not good things about them but at the end of the day you are who you are and the next person be it mate, friend, colleague, family member have to come to terms with your true being and either meet you where you are or not deal at all.

Mr. Unknown

January 30th, 2012
8:10 am

Good Morning
I think we all do it to a certain extent. Some people go years without relaxing and showing their true colors. Thats why alot of guys are afraid to get married. Its the myth of the transforming bride, she is one person before getting married, somebody totally different after the wedding. I don’t know how true that is but I heard the war stories.

Dude

January 30th, 2012
8:12 am

Mr. U
No myth
It’s natural for guys to be a little unreal to begin with, we have to put on this front to even get a woman’s attention, the hardest part is getting your foot in the door.

Into the Light

January 30th, 2012
8:12 am

Hey Lady~!

Sooooo, (if I may ask) how’d it go yesterday?? ;)

Dude

January 30th, 2012
8:15 am

Ok, here is a little wisdom that my office came up with.
You fight for a girlfriend.
You fight because of a wife.

Take it how you want to.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
8:24 am

ITL it didn’t and I am glad! This topic is so on point. As I stated I am not dealing with foolishness. In the virtual world you can shux and jive and talk a good game but when held accountable you are either going to follow through and align with what you preach or flake out. It seem he had some he had more uncertainty with meeting me face to face than he let on. The first issue was he wanted to meet at his home. Not a real big deal but I did put it out there we can meet any where to take the pressure off with the home meet n greet and he never followed up. The next thingy was the time frame. This past weekend I had classes all weekend long (Fri 6-10, Sat 9-5, & Sun 9-3) and he knew my schedule. He had his son this weekend and I knew that. So Sunday comes and its about 1sh and I ask whats the plan of action bc I thought we would meet in after 3 per se. So he stalled on that a bit and finally said 6. So I agreed then I get a follow up text saying well any time after 7 works and what would I like to drink. The expression on my face was like dude who is meeting you @ 7pm at your house?!? Not I said the cat. So there was my loop hole to shut down that foolishness quick. It just seems he was preoccupied and that is OK but as I knew from the start and happily kept my distance we are in two different places and on slightly two different pages. That is fine too. The silver lining is I recognized early on and didn’t put myself out there to rip and rip to something that I am not interested in long term. Everyone’s time is valuable and it is no need to try and meet someone where they are and that are not making it a priority on there end.

Funny you ask ITL bc I certainly texted my homie Ms Leggs to update on that foolishness! LOL

I am good though no love lost! ;)

Into the Light

January 30th, 2012
8:31 am

WOW! This topic is right on time, huh, Lady??

Sorry he turned out to be such a flake, but better to find out now…. :)

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
8:34 am

Yes ma’am! Early is better! This was insight for me.

Into the Light

January 30th, 2012
8:37 am

And that is how we learn, building on insight and wisdom from our experiences. :)

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
8:37 am

;)

Mr. Unknown

January 30th, 2012
8:41 am

@Lady, was it more of a lack of communication on his part. Sorry I don’t know the entire story I’m just jumping in..

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
8:46 am

Mr. U I am not sure what it was but he was never definitive with the meet n greet. As I mentioned Sunday’s communication with him seem uncertain vs. our previous conversation via phone or online. I am looking at it (correct me if I am wrong too) If you want to meet someone you will make it happen without a doubt. And if there were some difficulties then you state them vs just leaving that area of assumption. First and far-most he wanted me to come to his home and that never gelled with me and I put it out there earlier for us to meet somewhere I I got nothing. So where was the compromise? I just feel it wasn’t thought out and the time came and he had nothing.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
8:49 am

So where did I go wrong men?!?

Mr. Unknown

January 30th, 2012
8:53 am

@dude, Yeah at the begin everyone wants to highlight their best side. But the question becomes when is to soon to let your guard down and be open about your flaws or vices. I dated a woman two months before I found out that she smoked.

Dude

January 30th, 2012
8:53 am

Briefly looking over the post, I would say you are over thinking things. The guy was trying to be generous by asking you what you would like to drink, if he doesn’t drink the same thing as you. Looking into things too much, I would say that particular question was more geared to trying to be a good host.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
8:56 am

Dude the drinks were not the issue. the issue was I wasn’t going to his home and we never discussed that. Sure impromptu is cool but after stalling a bit throughout the day I just wasn’t feeling going to his home. I am not apologizing for that. We can get drinks anywhere.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
8:58 am

Good morning.

Without reading any of the comments, why even bother not putting your true self out there??? It takes too much work representing that which you are not. I’m not saying you don’t have to present the best side of who you are, but if you’re only representing the side of you that is ALWAYS put together and that’s not really the case, you’re a fraud. No one is ALWAYS put together. We all fart, burp and drool.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
8:59 am

It just seemed awkward the later the day got chatting with him……..I’ve met plenty of folks from offline so I wasn’t scared its just something there that is not adding up..

Rob

January 30th, 2012
9:06 am

@UNKNOWN-PATIENCE WILL REVEAL DECEPTION BUT A REAL NO MAKE,MESSY HAIR,THAT TIME OF THE MONTH TRUE COLORS RELATIONSHIP IS BUILT WHEN YOU CAN DEMONSTRATE THAT YOU CAN LOVE HER THROUGH IT ALL.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
9:07 am

@Lady ~ you have me laughing already. Like I said, meet and greet at the home right out the bat is not a good thing. His furniture issue was trifling at best. Virtual dating you can certainly shuck and jive, dish out boo coo compliments left and right only to waver with an actual meet and greet. These jokers are just that, Court Jesters!!!!!

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
9:10 am

I thought it was just me! O_o Thanks Leggs!

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
9:12 am

I didn’t tell the blog folks about the furniture thingy but anyway like I said we are in two different places and no I am not meeting him where he is. been there done that. I want more and I won’t apologize for that.

SlimNu

January 30th, 2012
9:15 am

sneaking in peeking around the corner before bossman comes back

Ssssshhhhhh, my boss is here from PA so I won’t be able to trip out with yall all day. :cry: Anyway, you know you’re getting comfy when ya start letting em rip in front of each other or when you actually start taking a dump at his/her house. How’s that for comfort…

Mr. Unknown

January 30th, 2012
9:19 am

Lady Oh ok, I would say never meet and greet at the home. For most men its a test to see how far your willing to go or how easy it would be to try to get sex without having to spend money. There are a lot of free first time meet and greet places to go.
Example the mature me would give you details as to what is going on during my day, so if I have to change a time or reschedule your in the loop as to why. Most guys would go out of their way to make a good first impression.
The early 20 something me don’t really care about your feelings, all you need to know is that I want to meet up with you later today with a drink in my hand.
There are always two sides to a story, you can always pick his brain and ask what was he thinking yesterday. Put the pressure on him and let him know that he left a bad first impression. If he is interested he will make up for yesterday, if not he fold up like a tent.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
9:23 am

Thank Mr. Unkown! Your assessment is so on point and those are my thoughts! I like the part when you mention “What were you thinking yesterday” It seem like night and day behavior and you know I observe behavior closely.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
9:24 am

Mr. Unknown that is…..sorry about that! ;) (spelling)

Into the Light

January 30th, 2012
9:26 am

Nice post, Mr. U.

Mr. Unknown

January 30th, 2012
9:26 am

*will fold up like a tent. Sorry in class. Rereading everyones comments.

disco

January 30th, 2012
9:27 am

good morning.

slim – you reminded me of the episode of girlfriends where joan was waking up early and driving to lynn’s house to take her morning dump so she wouldn’t have to go at the boyfriend’s house. too funny.

personally – I don’t do too much of that representative stuff. I’m me and that’s it. you like me or you don’t. am I on good behavior? sure, I’m pleasant but I’m not faking the funk. in fact, I like to discuss the negative early. the way I see it, everyone is cool with the good and have issues with the bad so let’s both talk about what’s wrong (or perceived to be wrong) with us right up front.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
9:27 am

yeah I am working on something too and blogging so excuse all errors

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
9:29 am

and he is 34 Mr U so age is no true sign of maturity………..sheep in wolf clothing as I mentioned last week the physical attraction is there but I refuse to let it lead me……..

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
9:32 am

& just bc he sent flowers last week doesn’t mean I let inconsistent behavior slide. accountability is key.

Betty Wright explains flowers very well! LOL

HST

January 30th, 2012
9:54 am

I have never dated a woman or even back to my teenage years that wasn’t herself. Personally, I’d find out quickly if they were or weren’t being themselves. I have a GF that I’ve been seeing for twelve years. It took her ten to fart in front of me. Furthermore on topic, I’ve never had a girl that looks 100% after some sleep. I’ve never had a “morning girl” (as in – she’s as happy as I am in the AM) and much less one that is ready at waking. If anything, I get frustrated waiting for the process to be done. Today’s modern woman really has a lot to do to be fab.

I have small things I always look for in the beginning. The condition of her car, how she treats her purse, her hair and how much “girl clutter” she has. I would never take a woman seriously as a significant other until I see her house and how she lives.

Mainly because I could care less, I am always myself. I think a lot of confidence comes from being financially independent. My biggest barrier is finding a woman who understands my passion for cars. Not simply possessing them but really driving them as well. Not many people understand, relate, enjoy and drive automobiles as I do. Whenever I drive it’s an expression and I always approach driving as such. In the beginning, I don’t show my collection of cars and I certainly don’t drive 150 out of the gate. I’ve also lost many cool dates because I pull up in one of my nicer cars and she automatically puts me in a player’s position. I have a second garage at the back of my property so it’s easier to put off at first. I’ve learned my lesson about showing up in a car that I just simply enjoy. I do hide that I’m a modern day Cannonballer and my passion for cars at first. However, by the third date or whatever activity we do it’s in a car that I enjoy. If by that point she doesn’t understand it’s a passion or get it…she’s out.

FTR, I have several buddies (from the car scene) who will mislead about their station in life. I have friends who have exotics but can’t pay their mortgage on time monthly. Some of my buddies outwardly look great but really they’re a mess and one step away from bankruptcy. They usually date younger naive women. I really feel they do this because of their own maturity level or a woman of their age would see right through their front…it’s so PATHETIC.

Exiled!

January 30th, 2012
10:04 am

Funny Lady!

the flowers were for him to soften u up and then he gets some on the home meet! :lol:

yeah,wolf.. wolf :lol:

On topic:

We are never ourselves in the beginning men or woman..for the most part.

Like Slim says..until we good to take a Dump at his place.

But as for me I will take a dump anywhere! your home included.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
10:06 am

Hey Brother Ex! :)

kimmie - the original :)

January 30th, 2012
10:07 am

Morning All!

Lady – Hands down, no meeting for the first time at either homes. You totally did the right thing. He was messy!

Topic – I would like to say I’ve always been “myself”, but it’s only natural to want to make a good impression on someone you are interested in. So I would say I’ve been myself, but I just didn’t “let it all hang out”. That’s how I measured my connection to a man – one I felt comfortable being myself around and felt relaxed around. It’s always never been a matter of me being phony or stiff, just whoever made me feel relaxed, like I’ve known them awhile even though we might have just met. Some people are able to give you that feeling and some never do.

SlimNu

January 30th, 2012
10:09 am

Seems like dating used to be waaaaay more fun when I was younger lol

disco

January 30th, 2012
10:12 am

every thing reminds me of tv – you’d think I was glued in front of the box. as to kimmie’s letting it all hang out. made me think of the movie holiday heart with ving rhames when they made the toast “here’s to letting it all hang out – in private”.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
10:13 am

Thanks Kimmie! ;)

Mr. Unknown

January 30th, 2012
10:14 am

@ Rob can’t love through everything. @ Lady There had to be more than just the Physical that lead you to want to go out with him, right? I can’t throw buddy competely under the bus without knowing the full extent of his behavior. Consistency is a huge deal, hell I just learn what that truly means when dating and being in a relationship. Thats why I chose not to date right now,not until all my ducks are in a row again. I’m 34 and have a new found respect for what life throws your way. I was going through life without a back plan, being inconsistant with my projects ect… I can’t be the pack leader in my houshold and expect getting that type of respect without alot of those keys that were missing for me. Consistency, communication, passion for life goals.
Nobodys perfect but you can be something like it.

Anyway hasta luego good people. Have a good one. Sorry didn’t have time to proofread what I just typed. Ha!

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
10:21 am

you right Mr U it wasn’t all the physical he is good people but as I state and felt we want two different things and actions will prevail no matter what or why you are attracted to someone. The truth will become evident and its on the parties to mesh or leave it be. I get your point though sir I am not bashing him or throwing him under the bus I just wasn’t interested in his actions yesterday and I didn’t see it through

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
10:28 am

I am far from perfect but I am more consistent that I have been~

abc

January 30th, 2012
10:29 am

Soon as I realized that the chick hadn’t been acting as herself, I’d be history. I can’t be anything but my ‘authentic self’. I don’t really get all the fronting. What’s the point? She want’s a Bentley, I don’t think me showing up as a Civic with a Bentley badge is going to fly, and vice versa.

People want what they want. Let them have what they want. Everyone’s the same in that regard, even me.

kimmie - the original :)

January 30th, 2012
10:31 am

I think confidence and self-assurance is a key part of being yourself with someone. You have to have faith that what you have to offer is enough and truly accept yourself. If you can’t accept yourself, how do you expect someone else to? Once I became truly comfortable in my own skin, I realized I had a lot to offer, so there was no need to hide out or be undercover. Either I’m your cup of tea or I’m not.

Wise’s friend that’s jumping thru hoops to present this image for her man is insecure with herself. A poor body image can do that. One not feeling confident with their station in life and what they have achieved can do it to. Showing someone who you really are is a lot more than feeling comfortable taking a dump in front of them. I’m married, but I’m not a crude person and I don’t believe in just putting bodily functions right in my husband’s face just because we are married. That’s lack of respect and a little TOO comfortable, if you ask me. We’re not animals.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
10:32 am

Once I became truly comfortable in my own skin, I realized I had a lot to offer, so there was no need to hide out or be undercover. Either I’m your cup of tea or I’m not. <<<<<<AMEN Kimmie!

I hinted on that earlier!

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
10:51 am

slow monday huh…..I just tackled my major task for today! I am ready for a social week with some down time….this past month has been fast paced………….

Fion

January 30th, 2012
11:10 am

@Lady
8:49 Post So where did I go wrong men?!?I’m coming in late. Read your story. I hadn’t read what others may have said.
Listen baby, you ain’t did nothing wrong. That’s just some Regular Garden Varity BS.
It’s dudes like that that give the game a bad name. Straight Buster.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:13 am

yep Fion and thank you so much for that sir! ~much respect! ;)

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
11:16 am

Cold Cut Artist – Full Force (Valentine gift = LaFace tickets and something else I don’t remember)…(404) 741-1075

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
11:23 am

*** PSA for MYSELF***

Lil Leggs has submitted an essay this past Saturday for a possible scholarship but will need all the help Ik can throw her way in securing placement. This particular scholarship is won by POPULAR VOTE. Please read her essay and cast your vote. You can vote everyday up until April 2nd.

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wyzant.com%2Fscholarships%2Fv2%2Fessay39569-Ellenwood-A.aspx&h=6AQFVTpqUAQFWe_LYbjsI3HgVQue1bYAOT_lt3ck_vcsEYg

Thank you in advance.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:26 am

i just voted for her again leggs!

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:26 am

you may want to post a link that is not linked to FB everyone may not be on FB

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

January 30th, 2012
11:35 am

what up everybody!!

How about being your authentic self at all times, he/she who does not like the real you won’t be there for the duration anyway…Fugg a representative!!

@Lady and the Blog-Dude may have not planned properly, but for him to written off as a buster/schemer at this junction is a bit premature. What I read into the post was that dude had his son and was still attempting to you, though it was gonna be difficult. Sounds like he was prioritizing to me, his mistake was trying build Rome in a day!

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:37 am

Jake I had my daughter too and a full weekend and we both knew this day was coming and i planned accordingly but yeah I see your point

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:41 am

I wasn’t priority even in advance. there was o surprises with sunday we both agreed to meet and the logistics were spotty and I even said lets meet somewhere and got nothing.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:42 am

no

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
11:44 am

Good point, Lady, I forgot I copied that from FB…thanks!

Please use this address….again thank you! http://www.wyzant.com/scholarships/v2/essay39569-Ellenwood-GA.aspx

disco

January 30th, 2012
11:44 am

lol – lady says she’s not even trying to hear all that.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:45 am

why make it easy disco?!? I have been dating as a single mom for 6 years and I make a way for social time when I want to and when I don’t i don’t simple

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:46 am

leggs I want her to win and we don’t need no roadblocks lol you know how brower filters are

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:46 am

browsers

ok be back @ 1:30 y’all

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

January 30th, 2012
11:48 am

Lady-I see my fingers left out a couple of words in my statement…but that was my point, sometimes we all can be too judgemental when something does not work according to our plan. It appears that there was some chemistry for you both to embark on meeting one another, this weekend was just a glimpse of some issues that may impact your friendship (parenting), but I didn’t think I read anything that made him jerk…

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
11:51 am

that is fair Jake and Thanks sir!!!! I am a parent and realize its not black and white but his communication sucked and he seemed he would have been fine with me coming to his home and never offered an alternative so that is where I am looking like hmmmmm he never even said another weekend will work

if I said all that could have come across as pushy or thirsty but I let him have the play field and I got NOTHING……but i see your point

ok be back later

singlelongtime

January 30th, 2012
12:11 pm

Leggs: Read your daughter’s essay. Very well done and a great lesson learned. Kudos to you for teaching her at a young age a lesson that certainly will stay with her for life. We need more of that kind of parenting. She got my vote.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
12:18 pm

Thank you so much singlelongtime! That means a lot to me.

GlammourGirl

January 30th, 2012
12:46 pm

Leggs…voted for your daughter’s essay. My dad did the same thing to my sister when she stole some Chapstick.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
12:49 pm

Thanks GG! Laughing at the chapstick. They just want to take something, anything..

Willie Dynamite

January 30th, 2012
12:53 pm

Afternoon All,

Leggs – I voted, nice essay and as always “good job Mom”.

On Topic – I think we all have some apprehension about showing ALL our our true colors. I do agree with some who have posted that confidence in self helps relieve you of the burden of peforming for the crowd. This is for most people a gradual learning process and it has its own set of ups and downs depending upon your personality and/or growth.

MsATL

January 30th, 2012
1:14 pm

Leggs- I just voted for the essay you posted.
As far as being yourself, I want to know the true person I am dealing with. I do not want to deal with the representative and find out that is who I was dealing with when the person muts up on me. Just keep it real.

Fion

January 30th, 2012
1:17 pm

On topic, I’m at that dangerous age. That’s the age where you just don’t give a damn. Trying to impressing people beyond the scope of your reality is a joke.
Aye man, when I meet you, either you with it or you’re not. At this age baby the thing you really need to understand, it’s some sh^t that’s going to go down whether you’re here or not. What you see from the getty-up is real.

Fion

January 30th, 2012
1:19 pm

meant trying to impress……..

SlimNu

January 30th, 2012
1:20 pm

I don’t know how to be anyone other than, well…ME ;-)

Willie Dynamite

January 30th, 2012
1:25 pm

On Topic – Isn’t that what Dating is all about. We all have representatives (bet foot forward, yada yada yada). Some folks representatives may be alot busier than yours. My point is with Dating it allows you the opportunity to get to know the other person. You get a chance to sift through all that if you so choose or K.I.M. of you so choose. Some folks can get to the real you quicker than someone else. That comfort level is what most folks seek.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
1:30 pm

poppin’ back in

Celisea

January 30th, 2012
1:44 pm

Afternoon:

I think everyone in the dating realm will always try and impress unless you’re a buster. For the most part, “best foot forward” is totally separate and removed from faking and pretending to be someone you are not. IMO, best foot forward indicates not so relaxed, spit shine polished, manners (as always) in tack, conversation on point. I think beng able to relax a little once comfy sets in, is still being yourself but letting your hair down. You know how I look polished so you’re cool seeing a ponytail or hair pulled back, flats or sneakers rather than pumps and Sunday-Go-To-Meeting sharp for every meet-up. Being about to talk about any ole than rather than limited to world topics and events….relaxing. Being able to broach this zone without fear of the person thinking you’re less than “on point.” Being about to talk more on a personal level and comfortable enough to share some interpersonal happenings (not telling ALL your business), but just things you can share about your day. Comfortable enough to say you had a stressful day and that person understands or won’t take that to be ain’t b!tching moaning instead.

Going in or operating under a facade is what I would think the topic sort of hinges on. Being totally the person you’re not. Lying, acting and being someone totally removed from your person…spit shined or not.

I think most grown folks (I agree Fion), could care less in what you think. Not meaning you don’t care but pretty much what you see is what you get. Either you’re gonna like it or you won’t. I’m not going to pretend to reel you in and then BAM!!

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
1:45 pm

every coputer I use i vote leggs! it won’t let you vote twice on the same computer…when I get back in my lab I will hit every computer lol

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
1:45 pm

computer that is

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
1:46 pm

Online is where you’ll most “representatives.” Not in all cases, but the majority of them aren’t true to who and what they say they are (unfortunately).

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
1:50 pm

agree

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
1:52 pm

I am true to self….I cracked my professor up over the weekend by saying my virtual profile and face to face is all in the same……..I am an open book and I am very consistent in delivery

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
1:53 pm

half of my class is online and the other part on campus once a month……..some others in the class said they feel they can be more fancy online vs in person. I was still the chatty and witty person lol

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
1:53 pm

where you’ll find….

cba

January 30th, 2012
1:55 pm

Lady~ Having read your posts the last couple of years, not for one second did I expect you to fall for that BS! Intelligent ladies don’t make those types of stupid mistakes. Proud of you !!

Leggs~ count me in for your daughter. Reading that essay, I can see the love and determination you have to raise a responsible young lady. Kudos!!

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
1:56 pm

Thanks cba!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

MrsTazzee

January 30th, 2012
2:00 pm

Afternoon folks!

I learned to just be myself after trying to present a representative and still failing in love. I think I was in my early 30s when I just came with the real me from the beginning.

Lady~ I checked in to see how your ‘date’ went. I’m glad you let that go. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but it seems he was pretty good with communicating up until it was time to meet and then he got a little shaky with it. That’s for the birds. Consistency is key – especially in the beginning. Oh well, on to the next one. Hang in there friend – you know I kissed A LOT of frogs before I met my prince.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
2:01 pm

Yes ma’am Mrs. Tazzee perfect assessment!!!!! Thanks sis!!!! ;)

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
2:04 pm

I am still hopeful and open. this hasn’t been discouraging……….just insightful

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 30th, 2012
2:05 pm

Afternoon All!! Just got a chance to pop in for a sec!!

Hope everyone is doing well!

Leggs – I voted!

Willie Dynamite

January 30th, 2012
2:07 pm

Celisea – trying to respond but the blog monster doesn’t like me very much. I mostly agree with what you are saying. I will add that some responsible people will see the difference in what you are saying. The frauds however don’t and can’t draw the line.

cba

January 30th, 2012
2:09 pm

Lady~ how do you compare traditional classroom to online ? I predict within the next 25 yrs, all education will be online K-PhD.
My daughter is getting her masters online and she likes it.
I’m ole school, I want to sit in desk and talk to the other students….in flesh LOL

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
2:10 pm

Thank you cba! Parenting is the hardest job, but loving every minute of it. Even those times when I want to drop her off in the middle of the forest and make a mad dash back to my car w/o her!!

Awww, Mo! Thank you.

disco

January 30th, 2012
2:14 pm

leggs – I thought of Bernie mac re coming home without the dog. Bernie – where’s the dog? I took him to the park. too funny.

cba – I loved school/learning I just didn’t really need the social aspect of it. if you could just give me a book, syllabus and list of project deadlines I could make it work. and I absolutely HATED group projects. still do. when folks bring up the team player thing I always point out I’m all for being a part of a team I just prefer a relay where everyone is responsible for their own leg.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 30th, 2012
2:15 pm

Leggs – you are more than welcome!

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
2:15 pm

in my 20’s cba I failed miserbly start 3 different types of online graduate programs and stalling on each one…..in my 30’s doing learning about something I am passionate about (my niche’) its effortlessly. I did the traditional setting this past year and a half classroom only now in the 2nd half of my master’s (even more matrue and grounded with higher education) my blended classes are going EXCELLENT! I did very well this past weekend. Currently its onle and two months a whole weekend of on-site learning. So I am doing well with the online part too. I push for online learning maybe by middle school. It truly meets the student no matter the age where they are in this multi-dynamic society……….

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
2:16 pm

excuse all errors daggit i hate being on a PC that doesn’t automatically check! LOL

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
2:25 pm

@Mrs. Tazzee ~ Consistency is the key. I have what I call the 3 C’s = Communication, Consistency and Compromise as ingredients to sustain a relationship/marriage.\

I was online this weekend and this guy sent me a message. When I responded back after reading his profile I told him I had a graduating senior due to what he posted on his profile. He informed me that his “profile is crystal clear and he will not make any exceptions.” He then wished me luck. His profile states he will not date anyone with children in K-12 even if they’re graduating this year. I could only laugh and tell him “cool, your loss.”

@disco ~ exactly. I remember that episode.

Willie Dynamite

January 30th, 2012
2:26 pm

ok blog monster doesn’t like me or my comments.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
2:27 pm

I’ve been dismissed by many who don’t date woomen with kids. everyone has their preferences lol

cba

January 30th, 2012
2:27 pm

disco~ I took a continue ed class last year and the first day, the professor assigned groups……damn. Since I were the oldest in my group, they made me PM. Shouldn’t that be age discrimnation :lol: I enjoyed it though, had to show the kids I knew a thing of two. One of the students finished high school with my daughter; that was strange.

Willie Dynamite

January 30th, 2012
2:31 pm

ok, I’ll try again.

Celisea – i agree with most of your comments. i think some people tend to not see the difference in the best foot forward. For the fraudelent types it starts with best foot forward and ends up being just foul as the status quo moving forward. But I do agree.

Purple

January 30th, 2012
2:32 pm

No and NO. I am always me…why because I love me some me..it’s her job to figure out a way to like me as much as I like me

disco

January 30th, 2012
2:33 pm

cba – a couple of years ago I took a cont ed course and their was a young girl in there who had just finished high school the previous year. every opportunity she had to speak she was sure to point out that she was the youngest person in the class. the course lasted a couple of months and so we heard it plenty but we just turned it into a running joke. she was sweet though.

O/T – I went to get my car serviced over the weekend (unfortunately just my car). I usually avoid the sales guys like the plague or at least shut them down when they approach. still, there’s this one incredibly sexy sales guy that I always look for when I go and I’ve been going to this place for years. I just like to lay my eyes on him. anyway, he came up to me Saturday and gave me the sales pitch. how come I went on a test drive and everything. listened to his whole spiel about what he could do for me. he just doesn’t know what all he could do for me. okay – I’m done.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
2:35 pm

He didn’t say anything about no kids, just young kids. I respected his stance, he’s going to miss out on some good women (esp. those with seniors leaving the nest (LOLOLOL)).

disco

January 30th, 2012
2:35 pm

ooh. purple… I was kind of waiting on you. so you remember last week’s conversation about chicks getting stretched out? anyway, I was having dinner with folks over the weekend and one chick kept missing her mouth. you know when they keep dropping food or spilling their drink. anyway, after she did it a few times I bust out laughing and then had to explain why. we had a good time pondering the possibility of her mouth being overworked.

Willie Dynamite

January 30th, 2012
2:37 pm

Disco – you are not right.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
2:38 pm

How the heck do you keep missing your own mouth. Was she three sheets to the wind???

Fion

January 30th, 2012
2:40 pm

@Disco

You should have said something like “I live right around the corner”
I left a roast in the oven.

Velonese

January 30th, 2012
2:43 pm

I am very comfortable with myself, probably one of the few things people have a problem with is my tattoos. Yes I have sleeves, but at work they are covered and half the people don’t even know. Oh well if folks want to get butt-hurt about them that’s fine, that’s their problem not mine. As for why others hide their true colors, I don’t know, that is a good question but I do find that on the shady side.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
2:51 pm

@disco ~ guess you weren’t ready to give up your eye candy…you are a trip!

disco

January 30th, 2012
2:55 pm

leggs – if he knew I was entertaining kidnap fantasies they’d probably start using the buddy systems for test drives. I’ve been telling my friends about this guy ever since I first bought my car way back when (he wasn’t my original salesperson). I’m surprised I slept on the “test drive” shoot, if I had any sense I would have been going on test drives every service appointment. mm mmm mmmm.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
3:03 pm

Well,, what’s stopping from you letting your lustful thoughts known? Is he married? Or do you simply not want to be in a relationship.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
3:04 pm

NPlease forgive my mild form of dyslexia while typing.

disco

January 30th, 2012
3:10 pm

leggs – you went right where one of my friends went. I don’t know if he’s married or not. he doesn’t wear a ring but I know that doesn’t mean anything. I certainly never bothered to ask him. I do know that I usually make sure I’m on point when I take my car in for service.

a Hispanic friend of mine has a young son and she takes him to this barbershop. one of the barbers is the hottest thing since fire. I swear for a little while I was like “call me when you are going to the barbershop”. i did breakdown and ask the barber if he was involved, offered to buy him dinner (yep – he’s that hot). at the time he had a live in girlfriend. it’s been a while though, maybe I should go back to the barbershop or at least ask my girl to scope out the current situation.

Lady~

January 30th, 2012
3:10 pm

I feel like I haven’t been out in a minute what is poppin’ around the city?!? my lil one is away til thursday and I have caught up on my work………………….#freedom I still want to see Red Tails so I guess I will make that happen!

Celisea

January 30th, 2012
3:13 pm

WillieD – yep

Purple

January 30th, 2012
3:19 pm

disco, LOL

Roto-Rooter

January 30th, 2012
3:26 pm

Dear Ladies,

You should NEVER, ever , NEVER feel comfortable enough around your man to pass gas through your behind.

It is DISGUSTING enough that we have to be around other dudes who do that.

Also, some “On the Down Low” men like to send their jungle snakes into that area, and they don’t need to be reminded of what the intended purpose for that portal is.

Thank you for your attention, My Ladies!

Peace Out.

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
3:31 pm

Michael Baisden is talking about “representatives” while dating.

Into the Light

January 30th, 2012
3:32 pm

Maybe he reads MIA. :lol:

Celisea

January 30th, 2012
3:40 pm

Roto-Rooter, that’s the name, and away go troubles down the drain…..remember this catchy tune?

Leggs

January 30th, 2012
3:58 pm

Looks like Roto Rooter is trying to get his drain cleaned.

Celisea

January 30th, 2012
4:08 pm

Off topic and random:

I wonder if there’ll be a conference this year. I think these folks are still recovering from the South Beach trip last year…with say oh what 65 people going. Every done top notch. I’m gonna be bummed if not. I need a getaway :) My kid is going to Florida later this year. I’m thinking about getting a trip about that time.

Willie Dynamite

January 30th, 2012
4:16 pm

Celisea -Are you taking Mr. Waffle House with you?

Celisea

January 30th, 2012
4:24 pm

LOL……you ain’t right

Celisea

January 30th, 2012
4:29 pm

WD – Let’s just say I’m not going alone and I’m not feeling a sister girl thing happening…lol. Usually that’s an anti-man time. I’m trying to be a cheerleader…no man bashing…lol