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The Ex Files: Keep old mementos?

My friend Lewis recently had dinner at his lady friend’s house. He noticed a lot of racy pictures of her that she displayed in her living room. When he inquired about them, she said that her former boyfriend took the pictures and she kept them because they were so beautiful. I am not sure if Lewis was bothered more by the nearly nude images or the fact that the “guy before him” took them.

He asked me if I kept things from past relationships and I actually had to think really hard to remember. I had kept a lot! I also forgot that some of it came from an ex. It’s interesting to see how the things we hold on to from our past relationships become a part of who we are. If it was a gift from an ex, the sentimental value is there but that doesn’t mean we haven’t moved on.

How much “stuff” do you still have from your past relationships? Would you keep racy pictures, sex tapes, jewelry, etc. that would be a constant reminder about them?

Would your exes be surprised at the things you still have from the time you spent together?

Would you want the person you are dating to conceal those sentimental things?

P.S. Did you know that you can make money by selling stuff from your exes? “Never Liked it Anyway” lets you unload stuff from bad relationships. Yes. I am mad that I didn’t think of this too.

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

301 comments Add your comment

Leggs

January 26th, 2012
8:27 am

Good morning….

FIRST!!!

Audra

January 26th, 2012
8:30 am

Congrats on being first, Leggs! Beat me by two minutes!

I still have my wedding ring, does that count??

Leggs

January 26th, 2012
8:30 am

What he is mad at is what he already knows. Unfortunately, it’s now staring him in the face. He knows she had a relationship before him, but to see racy pictures that the ex took is a constant reminder that another man saw, touched, loved the body/woman he’s now interested in. All men/women know, but to see it up close is a blow to one’s ego (I suppose).

I think with her keeping the pictures on display is not because there’s an emotional attachment to the ex, but that she is vain and the pictures are beautiful to her. She’s admiring herself, not the memory of the time the pictures were taken.

Leggs

January 26th, 2012
8:31 am

:lol: Keep the ring, discard the dress!

Lady~

January 26th, 2012
8:44 am

Hey Ladies! I discarded the ring and dress but kept those expensive pictures. they are buried in a box in the garage…..I figure my lil lady can view them one day……….shrugs LOL

hmmmmm I have kept nothing from a regular relationship though…..

KaiserSoze

January 26th, 2012
8:50 am

Practical stuff you keep, mementos you toss. Some pictures are OK if they are from trips or help you recall fond memories of an event or outing that you enjoyed for reasons other than you shared them with the ex. Pretty simple rules for me to follow. Of course, if you come divorced from a long marriage then you will always have a ton of “stuff” you acquired together.

My philosophy in dating is whatever you did, whoever you saw, and whatever happened in your life before the day we met is none of my business, and vice versa. As long as we are happy and fulfilled with each other in what we do in the present and future, that is all that matters. I don’t get hung up on anyone’s past. We all have one, we all have skeletons in our closets, and we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. My key to my happiness – Live for today and tomorrow.

Leggs

January 26th, 2012
8:59 am

I never even put my wedding pictures out. They stayed in the frame in the box (guess I was saying something without saying a word). Kept my dress (which was absouletly stunning) and my ring (which is now broken). Hoping my child could wear the dress if she marries, but I’m not sure if she’ll ever be an adult size 2. I don’t have any other mementos worth keeping.

disco

January 26th, 2012
9:01 am

good morning.

Kaiser – that’s where I was going to go. practical. I’m more of a practical chick than a romantic one when it comes to gifts anyway. things I currently have or have had courtesy of the ex-files. a set of dishes, a deep fryer, a vcr (I know antiquated but I do still have some home video of the offspring that haven’t been transferred yet), microwave. I had a vacuum but I recently got a new
one and gave the old one to a friend, a fire extinguisher and small tool kit all come to mind. I’m sure if I think on it I’ll come up with more.

JustMe - Slim

January 26th, 2012
9:06 am

Well howdy doody everybody,

I have some momentos from my last loooooong relationship all in a box on a shelf in my closet. Pictures, movie tickets, cards, souveniers from trips etc…As far as having any of these old items out on display, that would be a big fat Negative.

Lady~

January 26th, 2012
9:08 am

Leggs I use my beautiful frames for my daughter’s pictures……They are nice frames and never got the use of the wedding pictures so i sued the next best thing……I truly have no idea where my ring…….my dress got thrown away with my moves….my wedding pictures were nice and honeymoon so I kept them in a nice box taped up……..lol

Lady~

January 26th, 2012
9:10 am

meant used it for the next best thing………….

JustMe - Slim

January 26th, 2012
9:13 am

Forgive me since I’ve never been married…I know when folks do the whole ceremony deal you want to look stunning and all that. I just can’t wrap my head around spending so much money on a dress you’re only going to wear once, then I am reading some of you actually threw the dress away? :shock:

Lady~

January 26th, 2012
9:14 am

Slim please lol I didn’t even think about the money once it was over……that was nothing lol

Lady~

January 26th, 2012
9:15 am

I don’t regret a dime that was spent……..I don’t even regret getting married…..I just regret getting married for the wrong reason….that right there is priceless. Only experience….taught me that….I am humbled

Bill Clinton

January 26th, 2012
9:18 am

Kept that damn ol’ blue dress…From that woman…What’s her name that I didn’t have sex with….I think…Recently dry cleaned for some reason…And I had to pay the bill….Imagine that….

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 26th, 2012
9:19 am

I have pictures of old flames, packed away in the attic. Other than that nothing on display that would warrant a side eye stare. I’m the same way I don’t worry about anyone’s past relations.

Morning:

Audra

January 26th, 2012
9:21 am

As for keeping the dress, it’s so pretty and the nicest and most expensive outfit I’ve ever worn. It may be even harder to part with than the ring!

disco

January 26th, 2012
9:22 am

I know it’s extreme but some folks can hardly stand to look at someone else’s kids (after all they are essentially mementos from a past relationship). imagine that.

Lady~

January 26th, 2012
9:22 am

lol Audra!!!!!

JustMe - Slim

January 26th, 2012
9:23 am

I would try to hold onto my dress, if i ever had one, for the little one, if I ever have one..or sell it to a consignment shop.

The beau has old cards & notes from his ex at the house.

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 26th, 2012
9:23 am

Have to wonder about all the gold necklaces I’ve given away. I almost sure they prolly been sold, expecially since gold is through the roof right now.

Lady~

January 26th, 2012
9:24 am

I don’t think my dress was that expensive. I do remember the portraits to be more……..different strokes for different folks….hell next go round I can wear what I want to the Justice of the Peace and keep it moving humbly……

Lady~

January 26th, 2012
9:25 am

Slim I do want my child to be a debutante and she could have worn it possibly but she will get a new dress….I guess I could see the pass down with that but that won’t happen…

JustMe - Slim

January 26th, 2012
9:29 am

BF – How many herring bone necklaces did you give away? lol I used to hate them thangs because they would pinch your neck or if you slept in it, it would bend and that was pretty much the end to it.

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 26th, 2012
9:30 am

My ex asked for my wedding band, I gave it to her but I don’t know what she did with it. I never asked either.

Lady~

January 26th, 2012
9:30 am

and turned my neck green Slim……………….lol those were the days! chuckle

JustMe - Slim

January 26th, 2012
9:32 am

Lady – And some folks would have every size on, all at one time…had you looking like one of those people that stretch their necks out with brass rings all up round their necks. I remember it was picture day at school and my mom let me wear her really long one. I still have that damn picture lol

Leggs

January 26th, 2012
9:33 am

@JustMe ~ I’m one of those that don’t understand spending thousands on a dress. My dress was stunning and I only paid $100.00

@BF ~ I recently sold my gold. If you had given me one, pretty sure it would have been in the stack (lol). But, you can give me one going forward and I promise to cherish it.

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 26th, 2012
9:34 am

LOL…..@Slim1:

Quite a few, they looked so good in the fine jewelry section, of course it was the lighting. When they were worn a couple of times they would kink and snag clothing, but they were nice in the begining.

JustMe - Slim

January 26th, 2012
9:34 am

Audra – About 3 months ago, a friend begged me to go try on some wedding dresses when we were out window shopping one day. I have to admit, I started to get into it and was amazed at how well I looked as a bride. So I had to get the hellz up outta there because my mind started playing tricks on me as if I was really about to be planning a wedding. lol

Leggs

January 26th, 2012
9:34 am

I love Herringbone necklaces, but I would never sleep in a necklace of any kind.

JustMe - Slim

January 26th, 2012
9:36 am

BF & Lady – No bs, I saw someone with THICK azz herring bone on not too long ago. I was like daaaaaang, they still make those? Those little kiosks in the middle of the mall used to sell out of them lol

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 26th, 2012
9:38 am

Leggs:

I know, there’s nothing else to do with gold except sell it nowadays. I don’t know too many people wearing gold these days.

disco

January 26th, 2012
9:38 am

did any of you have (or still have) your name plate to go with your necklace? what about the name plate earrings?

HST

January 26th, 2012
9:38 am

The nicest item ever bought for me was by a woman. She bought me pretty nice watch. To the day, it’s still nicest thing any person has given me. I’m not a sentimental guy but because it was the nicest item bought for me, I’ve kept it. I don’t wear it anymore, it’s in the safe but I won’t get rid of it. I guess my son will inherit it with how it became mine.This woman also threw in several K towards another watch purchase. I wear that watch – keeping with today’s theme – I forgot that she did that until now.

I would like to add that I think she actually listened to me and what I wanted. So rare today and I understand that I’m not the easiest guy to please. It’s hard to shop for a guy who buys whatever whenever. This woman honed in and gave me a gift that I’ll Will to my son.

Furthermore, on topic, I could care less about what any new interest would think about what I’ve kept from another woman. However, the pictures saved on display described by Diva is a little off. It would be awkward hearing that, seeing it and realizing what it might just imply.

I think full disclosure takes some discretion but one should never lie. If they’re asking, then they obviously want to know.

I could make at least 6k selling my gifted watch but I just can’t do it. Anything else given to me was there was no valuation. It was mostly things that you consume or use.

I do know that all my GFs have kept and say they will always keep jewelry that I bought them. Recently, I queried a couple of them about this and they all said the same thing. I don’t have bad memories with you.

Celisea

January 26th, 2012
9:41 am

I think in today’s post the Lewis’ woman had the pictures up because it was about her. I could be slow today but without knowing a lot into their history it just seems it’s more about her than a hang up on the ex that took the pictues. Too, who puts up “racy” photos? Or again, am I too old to relate to this. Could be seeing how we are in the age where sending sexy pictures are about as common as breathing…lol

For me, I don’t really hold on to stuff. I have said before on here that I have an engagement ring and a memento. Both are tucked away and really I never think about either unless I’m dusting or cleaning and come across. I believe though (and I’ve gone the other way in the past), holding on to “stuff” is about the residual. THAT’S JUST MY OPINION THOUGH. I say this because right after a breakup…FOR ME…I cannot toss anything out because of the feelings tied. After a while though and gradually (and I don’t know exactly when it happens), the less I feel or the more I’m removed, I find myself tossing stuff. Not on tangent or anything but just subtilly if I happen to see or come across (again), I feel like hmmmm, why am I keeping this? And there it goes, in the trash. Nothing valuable will I toss. If it can be reused, recycled or sold then that’s the path I take.

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 26th, 2012
9:42 am

LOL…..@Slim1:

That had to be one of the hood malls, with the blinged out earings guys like to wear.

kimmie

January 26th, 2012
9:42 am

Hey Gang!

I agree Leggs, sounds like topic chic is vain. Plus, who displays darn near naked pics of themselves in open view around the house? The fact that she’s that vain & tacky would give me pause if I were Lewis. I mean, who cares who took them? The past dude is not in the pictures with her. He knows he didn’t pluck her fresh from jr high, so he knows she has a past. He’s concerned about the wrong thing if you ask me.

I never had a lot of trinkets from dudes. Especially if we broke up on bad terms, I would get rid of stuff soon after the break up. The only thing I think I still have left from a dude is a pearl bracelet and that’s stuffed away somewhere. The few pics I have are nothing racy at all – pics with the family at at bbq or something and those are in old photo albums collecting dust. I had a few love letters that I ran across when packing to move in my new husband’s house. I tossed those.

Jill

January 26th, 2012
9:42 am

Good Morning All! :-)

I am cracking up @ the herring bone necklaces :lol: I was going with this guy that gave me one…it was real pretty and thick. I remember when we broke up, that was the first thing he snatched back. Didn’t help that we broke up at least once a week for a year :lol: back n forth.

Exiled!

January 26th, 2012
9:46 am

I keep old relationship stuff in my human hard drive….upstairs!

Anything given,read etc that’s in paper/or other form/shape, I burn!
The moment I am not hitting ur spot,it’s done.

Seeing old stuff from her is a no no.

JustMe - Slim

January 26th, 2012
9:47 am

I would never sleep in a necklace of any kind.

Leggs – I kinda got in trouble doing that very thing. I don’t wear gold unless it’s white gold or I’ll do sterling silver. Anyway, there is this necklace that I wear all the time and it broke on me. So beau secretly went and got me another one to replace it. Guess what, I broke that one too. When he took it to get repaired he said the lady told him I must have been sleeping in it because it had stretched out inches longer than it was when it was purchased. He told me he was not replacing it again. So sometimes I’ll forget and he’ll give me that Mmm huh look, and I’ll sneak and take it off lol

kimmie

January 26th, 2012
9:49 am

Slim – There is something magic about those gowns. When I think about it, I’ve only tried on an actual wedding gown one time and that was when I went to a bridal boutique to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress. I tried on this pink gown they had. That was definitely a sign of things to come!

I knew I wanted to wear pink from then on. When I got ready to plan my wedding last year, I knew we were going to have something small in Vegas, so I knew I was not going to be wearing a full-blown gown. I actually thought about wearing a short dress, but still I was not wild about wearing white. I went to Sax to try on a cute beaded flapper dress I saw on their website. They didn’t have it in the store, but I saw this strapless blush pink gown. That ended up being my wedding dress, even though it was in the special occasions section, not the bridal section.

HST

January 26th, 2012
9:51 am

I will admit that this whole new voyeuristic trend alludes me mostly. Especially how ex-s use them vindictively after break-up. Some of the web-sites toady that encourage such misuse of trust is appalling at how much content is posted. However, if your gonna trust someone, I guess you better know who exactly you’re dealing with. Especially the way social media is today. Once it’s out there, it’s there to stay and the world gets to view it…TheDirty.com comes to mind.

Leggs

January 26th, 2012
9:52 am

@BF ~ Gold is what I wear. Now, I have to regroup and what a nice start to have a Herringbone (lol).

Into the Light

January 26th, 2012
9:56 am

Good morning honey loves!

co-signing what Kimmie said about the pics. As a friend of mine likes to say, “Where they do that at???” :lol:

As for keeping stuff from exes, I do. Still use some of the UGA stuff from Ex-1 for tailgates, etc and occasionally will carry a purse or wear jewelry he bought me. From Ex-2, I have letters and cards and a few other trinkets, but they are packed away. After we broke up, I threw away, gave away, or packed away anything that reminded me of him.

Leggs

January 26th, 2012
9:57 am

@disco ~ I’m from NYC so you know we all have our name somewhere, be it earrings, necklaces, anklets, rings. I have a name ring Mama gave me when I turned 17. I cherish it and wear it err day!

@JustMe ~ got lil leggs a nameplate necklace that she insists sleeping in no matter how much I yell for her to take it off. I don’t understand sleeping with jewelry around my neck. Just another weapon for that mad person lying beside you to strangle you with…I know, I know, I’m warped (lol).

Celisea

January 26th, 2012
9:58 am

Off topic:

Sad to say the officer killed went to hs with me. You know, I heard the story getting dressed but wasn’t really watching tv. I heard the name Gail Thomas and it still didn’t resonate with me. Maybe because it’s a common name. My brother called me and asked if I saw the story on Gail Thomas….and bam it hit me. Such a tragic. She was older than me but not by much. When I watched the news last night I saw her picture. Her brother works at IHOP on South Cobb and served out table the end of last year. Both were pretty quiet and pretty nice kids growing up. It was either her mom or her mom’s identical twin that was tragically killed I’d say when she was about 15.

Such a sad story.

Celisea

January 26th, 2012
9:58 am

Off topic:

Sad to say the officer killed went to hs with me. You know, I heard the story getting dressed but wasn’t really watching tv. I heard the name Gail Thomas and it still didn’t resonate with me. Maybe because it’s a common name. My brother called me and asked if I saw the story on Gail Thomas….and bam it hit me. Such a tragic. She was older than me but not by much. When I watched the news last night I saw her picture. Her brother works at IHOP on South Cobb and served out table the end of last year. Both were pretty quiet and pretty nice kids growing up. It was either her mom or her mom’s identical twin that was tragically killed I’d say when she was about 15.

Such a sad story.

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 26th, 2012
9:58 am

Leggs:

Take that gold you have and get more money than what you paid for it. A Nice shiny silver/platinum bracelet is coming your way.

JustMe - Slim

January 26th, 2012
9:58 am

kimmie – I wouldn’t need to have anything too traditional either. As long as I feel great and look great, I’m cool to rock anything. If I can be as savy as Leggs, I would like to keep the cost to a minimum too. $100 for a wedding dress seems unheard of. One of the dresses I tried on was a short sassy type dress that had lots of spunk. With the right shoes, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell me nuttin if I wore that. I’m really on the slim side so I usually don’t show my chicken little legs but that would be an exception.

Leggs – I might have to pick you up to help me shop for one, if I get to that point in the relationship. ;-)