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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Single life: Money and mating

A group of MIT researchers conducted a study about “economic behavior” and what factors influence how we spend, save, acquire debt as consumers. Not surprising, a lot of our spending habits are related to seeking romantic partners. You guys know how I love these scientific studies!

Data was collected from 134 US cities that included the sex ratios of unmarried people, average consumer debt, and the number of credit cards per person. What they discovered was that in cities where unmarried men outnumbered unmarried women, there was more personal debt and more credit cards per person.

If you have ever seen Love Jones, you may remember the scene where Hollywood says, “You don’t need poetry to get women”. Savon replys, “Try a breath mint and a Visa.”
Funny enough, I thought of this when reading about the study.

How do you think our spending habits impact the dating scene. Does the money we spend make us believe we stand out more, thereby attracting more?

Do you believe we rely too much on money to meet, date, and mate in Atlanta?

Is the competition to seek out the best mates influencing how we spend money and acquire more debt?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

116 comments Add your comment

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
8:21 am

Good morning,

I’m ready to get back in the bed…Um topic, errrrr ummm No I do not believe the money I spend makes me stand out more, thereby making me more attractive unless i’m looking for a man to take care of. (and last time I checked, I had not won the lotto) I would assume that this is geared mainly toward the blog men or sugar mama’s. With the economy the way it is and many folks struggling as it is, I suppose that’s what makes people want to partner up with someone that has, if not more, but close to what you have. No one wants to feel like they have to be the sole provider for another grown person or as if they are being used, even if one makes more than the other. I don’t make a whole lot but I contribute as often and as much as possible within my relationship.

disco

January 24th, 2012
8:45 am

good morning. Does the money we spend make us believe we stand out more, thereby attracting more? on a large scale – NO. not unless you are leading with your wallet in hopes of attracting someone that way. like slim said I’m not looking for someone to take care of. the offspring is grown and gone. on a small scale – OF COURSE. it stands to reason that if you look good, you feel good and if you feel good you are probably happier, smile more and therefore attract more folks to you. if spending a little bit of money on yourself makes you feel good then I say go for it. splurge for a lipstick or new haircolor or new shoes. whatever works for you.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
8:48 am

disco – Yup, what you said. ;-)

Celisea

January 24th, 2012
8:57 am

Only folks that lead with wallets believe so. And even though I like to be treated like a lady and knowing it takes money to date, I’m not impressed if all you have to bring is that.

disco

January 24th, 2012
9:09 am

O/T – why do car dealerships push to put you in loaner cars? their reasoning is to keep me from having to hang out in the waiting room a few hours. my theory is they want me to like the new car better than my old car. bamboozlement I tell you.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
9:21 am

disco – they want you to get hooked on that new car smell lol

Audra

January 24th, 2012
9:21 am

Men spend money on dating, drinks, etc., and we women spend A LOT on clothes, hair, makeup, etc. to try and look good. Gym memberships, nails, hair, and all that really add up. It is necessary? Unfortunately, a lot of it is. It’s one of those truths of human nature – good looking women get men, and men with money (or at least a decent J.O.B.!) are more prone to get women, so we both do what we have to do to play the game.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
9:22 am

The place I bought my car from calls me every few months asking if I want to sell my car back for a new one lol I actually considered it until he started talking out of the range I’d want my car note to be. Guess we’ll see if he changes his tune next time he calls.

Audra

January 24th, 2012
9:23 am

That being said, money is not the only or most important thing. I was dating this guy who made a lot of money and repeatedly told me HOW MUCH he made (that got old). But that was all he had – no personality, no empathy, no kindness, no idea about the bigger picture – so he had to go. Money is not going to make me stick around in the absence of the other (most important) traits.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
9:26 am

Not sure if you all are listening to V103 but there is a guy on there talking about how in his dating life, he would have invested money or what have you on chicks for them to turn around and get ghost on him with no explanation of what happened, after they’ve ‘gotten what they wanted’. Frank Ski said he needs to quit leading with his wallet spending money on stuff like upgrading the chicks cars and stuff when you aren’t even married to the chick. The guy said he’s had chicks call the cops twice on him to quit contacting her. That last part sounded suspect as heyal :???:

disco

January 24th, 2012
9:32 am

my grandmother always said “see a fool, use a fool”. not mad at chicks for getting upgraded. if anything, I’m mad at them for getting ghost. you find a sucker like that and you need to at least keep him on the backburner. having said that, he needs to cut his losses, learn his lesson and quit whining about it on the radio.

the sales guys at my current dealership are relative mild. the last one that I frequented they were like freaking vultures. not just trying to sell you cars but trying to holler too. I was like can I holler at the brothers in the service department.

Audra

January 24th, 2012
9:33 am

I agree, Slim! It sounds like this dude tried to “buy” these women, and then when he was rejected by the gold diggers (go figure), he couldn’t take it so he stalked them, LOL. The man needs to change both who he’s looking for and the approach. I agree with Frank Ski – NEVER buy a car, pay bills, etc. for someone you’re not married to.

Celisea

January 24th, 2012
9:36 am

Just wow…..I was selected as a juror on a murder case. The judge just announced the defendant changed his plea to guilty last night after we left

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
9:38 am

disco – can I holler at the brothers in the service department. :lol: heyal yeah lol…I don’t think i’d ever be able to trust a car salesman on a dating level.

Audra – I need to find ole boy so he can put foe new tires on my ride and get my 60k mile tune up done…oh and a new brake job :lol: No one calls the police on you unless you’re harassing them. It’s one thing to assist the person you’re SERIOUSLY dating but I wouldn’t go so far as upgrading her car. But I think he said, he had only been dating ole girl for a few months.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
9:41 am

Cel – Are you happy about his plea change?

Celisea

January 24th, 2012
9:48 am

Slim – Mixed feelings. He was looking at life plus 50 if found guilty

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
10:09 am

Well now they can save all the whoopla and go straight to sentencing…at least you don’t have to deal with a long drawn out case.

Where is everybody anyways?

disco

January 24th, 2012
10:13 am

don’t know slim but if there was a skip party today then I guess we know that we aren’t part of the in crowd.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
10:17 am

disco – Well that would explain where all the testosterone went…they are all out playing hookie for the nookie

Kym

January 24th, 2012
10:22 am

Morning All,

I think you ladies have said it all on this topic.. Looks like a slow news day in blogsville..

disco

January 24th, 2012
10:28 am

woo-hoo. kym’s not popular either. sorry kym but nice to know you didn’t get invited to the skip party.

kimmie

January 24th, 2012
10:30 am

Morning Blog Ladies!

I heard a tidbit of that on V103. Idiot! Got nobody to blame but himself. I’m actually with Frank Ski on this because that’s how I was raised. You do not get into any major financial entanglements with someone you are not married to. Period. Some boyfriend buying me a car? I don’t know what that’s all about. If I needed help with a bill I was to ask my family. And as far as my money was concerned, a dude better not have even looked like he wanted to ask for it. I’d treat for a date now & then, and give reasonable gifts for bday or Christmas, but that’s it.

Kym

January 24th, 2012
10:43 am

@Disco…naww I am not really one of the in crowd type of chicks…I am a bit of a rebel..I was telling someone a few days ago…we were talking about the movie “Roots”..if I had to live back then..I would have been dead before the ship every left africa..

Kym

January 24th, 2012
10:46 am

O/T…and this goes in the nobody don’t tell me nothing file…Why didn’t ya’ll tell me Randy Jackson and I guess it’s Jermaine Jackson got the same baby mama? And that said baby mama was/is leaving over there with Mama Jackson..I heard that on the TJMS this morning and almost fell over..what the heck is wrong with the Jackson family?

disco

January 24th, 2012
10:46 am

kym – not that you mentioned roots. did you watch the 35 year anniversary special on OWN last week? I watched it and it made me pull out my dvd and watch roots over the weekend. also, I didn’t realize that roots was levar burton’s very first role ever.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
10:48 am

kimmie – Yeah ole boy sounded suspect to me as far as the harassing calls go. Do you at least agree with the ‘proper ways to break-up’ with some that he gave?

1. Should be face-to-face
2. Give concrete reasons for break-up as to not give person false sense of hope.
3. Leave them alone once it’s done – no calls, texts, etc
4. Be okay with them hating you for a little while afterwards while they get themselves back together.

Kym

January 24th, 2012
10:50 am

excuse that should be living not leaving..although they all need to leave with that mess.

@disco..I missed the special..I am going to try to catch it this weekend..I am sure she will show it again..I want to see how grown up John Amos is holding up.

Kym

January 24th, 2012
10:55 am

Okay I must really be tired..grown up Kunte Kinte…John Amos..

kimmie

January 24th, 2012
11:01 am

Slim – I don’t really agree. First, who is he to decide the “proper” way to break up? My life experience has taught me that breakups be handled on a case-by-case basis. The only thing I guarantee coming from me is respect. I will break up with you in a respectable manner, be it a love relationship, work situation, business, etc. It’s kinda like that old Kenny Rodgers song, The Gambler:

You gotta know when to hold em
Know when to fold em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run

There were a few guys I was glad I had the good sense to call it off with over the phone. And the only concrete reason I need is that it’s not working for me. Whether he finds that “concrete” enough is not my concern, nor should it be his. All he needs to know is that I want out. And dealing with me, no dude has ever felt “had” or played, because, as I said above, I took no elaborate gifts or money from any. I don’t play with people’s feelings. And once I’m done, I’m done. The men actually have alway had a problem with that. They wanted that double-back, “friends” mess, I never played that. And if they want to hate me, fine, but I don’t know of any of my exes that do. I treat people with respect.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
11:16 am

kimmie – I think he was reading this list from some article but not 100% certain. Now I can agree with being honest about why the other peson wants out because for me, it would provide the closure of now wondering what the heyal happened and if I was the reason. So far, I’ve only heard the “it’s me, not you” reason and that doesn’t really teach me much of anything going forward. But different strokes for different folks. As far as face-to-face, if you feel you’d be in danger then over the phone is a good idea. I think texting a break-up is plain tacky.

disco

January 24th, 2012
11:22 am

kimmie you put the gambler in my head for a hot minute. but I’ve got another one in my head that’s been there for a few days. gospel song “we’ve come this far by faith”. I need to get that one on my ipod. any of you know any good renditions of it? you know I’ll go on itunes and there will probably be 100 versions by 100 choirs.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
11:25 am

disco – sorry, I can’t say i’ve heard that song, and if I have, I didn’t know that’s what it was. I have a few gospel songs I like to listen to when I’m feeling low.

Kym

January 24th, 2012
11:26 am

Disco ..see if John P. Kee has a version..

disco

January 24th, 2012
11:28 am

I just saw the play “amen corner” and that was one of the songs the choir sang. it’s been on my mind ever since. that song and “if I had the wings of a dove” (don’t know if that’s the right title) are songs that I remember hearing my grandma and her church lady friends practice at the house when I was a little girl.

kimmie

January 24th, 2012
11:36 am

disco – I love it when my church choir sings that song!

Slim – He just comes off like a stalker. You are right, different strokes. I have always been a bit of an undercover spitfire. After that tough talk my mom gave me when I was whining about wanting closure from my 1st serious boyfriend, I never cared about it after that. Bottom line, he doesn’t want me. There is nothing he can “teach” me, because what he didn’t like about me could be just right for someone else, the guy that’s meant for me. I never had any bad habit that a dude needed to point out to me, so I really didn’t need to hear what any had to say for not wanting to be with me. I’m am what I am and you can take it or leave it, I’m stubborn like that. Call it arrogance or whatever. I take constructive criticism from people I’ve dealt with a long time and have grown to respect their opinions. Some dude I’ve dated and his opinion after he decided I’m not the one – he doesn’t get that level of consideration from me. My husband – yes, those past dudes – um no.

I drove myself crazy trying to figure out what was “wrong” with me and tried to change for that first boyfriend. Never again did I give another guy that power.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
11:38 am

Here are a few of my favs:

Deitrick Haddon – Don’t let me fall
Still gonna pray – Charles & Taylor
Shekinah Glory – Yes
Luther Barnes – I’m still holding on
Rev Paul Jones – I won’t complain
Earnest Pugh – Rain on us
William McDowell – I give myself away

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
11:43 am

kimmie – Hear ya loud and clear ;-)

kimmie

January 24th, 2012
11:44 am

Slim – Didn’t want to come off as angry. Just thinking about that first dude and the emotional rollercoaster I let him put me on makes me kinda mad at myself. It did force me to deal with men and other life situations with alot more confidence and faith in what I have to offer.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
11:52 am

kimmie – I didn’t take you coming off as angry but I can understand how that experience set the tone for those that followed. When I say I would like concrete details or what they felt I lacked or didnt do, didn’t mean I would take that info to Change who I am as a person. However, sometimes it helps to be reflective. You just may not know or realize how some things you do can affect the other person. For instance, the beau is not one that does a whole lot of talking when it comes to things that bother him or things he struggles with. However, when you’re dealing with a SO, it is imperative that you communicate. He has heard this before so that’s just an example. Nothing along the lines of, I hate the way you chew your food lol

kimmie

January 24th, 2012
11:55 am

Slim – Cool. I get what you’re saying and agree.

disco

January 24th, 2012
11:59 am

slim/kimmie – another good way of getting feedback is those emails that used to go around. once I got one where you are supposed to send a questionnaire to your friends. I don’t remember specifics but I remember it was really enlightening to read my friends’ responses. even something as basic as asking your close friends to give 5/10 words that describe you best. sometimes you recognize yourself in the words but sometimes you are caught off guard.

kimmie

January 24th, 2012
12:09 pm

disco – You know, I have one or 2 lifelong friends that, when I think about it, still think of me as that girl I was in high school or college. I have not forgotten where I came from, but I have evolved, “grown up” so much since then. Some of my other friends get it, but they still want to hang on. It’s gotten a little old.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
12:09 pm

disco – Those emails were fun at first, especially on slow days at work. Not so much now though lol At once upon a time, I like that Honesty Box applications on fb where folks could say whatever or answer a question you posed anonymously

disco

January 24th, 2012
12:29 pm

come out come out wherever you are – olly olly oxen free.

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
12:35 pm

i'm swiss

January 24th, 2012
12:38 pm

…pdussy. Er, I mean “polo….”

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
12:47 pm

well, well, well look what the wind blew in.

i'm swiss

January 24th, 2012
1:10 pm

You know how I like getting blown, Slim:lol:

Kym

January 24th, 2012
1:12 pm

I am back…what’s the haps..

JustMe - Slim

January 24th, 2012
1:12 pm

You little joka you…your comment sounds like a situation my co-worker told me about earlier today. She was talking to a customer and asked if he was going to come down this week. She said he came back with, “oh yeah, I always go down.” :shock: jeepers creepers