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Do you have an office crush?

Hi Guys! We are happy to have Brian Jenkins back to guest blog today about office crushes:

Many, many people develop crushes on co-workers. Without these office crushes, the workplace would be even more boring! The crush could represent real feelings, or perhaps you’re just desperate for change and the crush represents hope. Perhaps the “newness” will wear off and you’ll wonder why you had a crush on them in the first place.

According to a Monster.com survey, 53 percent of employees had a crush on a co-worker, and 36 percent of these crushes developed into workplace relationships. 73 percent of employees think openly dating a co-worker could jeopardize job security and advancement and 62 percent believe workplace relationships are a distraction.

Crushes at work can be emotional roller coasters. An office crush can become a huge distraction and prevent you from being a model employee. If an office crush becomes a relationship, they may provide intimate details about the relationship to co-workers if the relationship ends poorly. How you deal with your office crush can impact your life and career.

Office crushes can be frivolous and even inappropriate, however sometimes they can lead to meaningful, long-lasting relationships. Have you ever had an office crush? If yes, let us know what happened!

By Brian Jenkins, Guest Blogger Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

Brian Jenkins writes about many different topics that relate to life in the workplace for BrainTrack.com

Happy Friday

278 comments Add your comment

Big True

January 20th, 2012
7:45 am

Exiled!

January 20th, 2012
8:45 am

First!!! Yeaeeeiii!

It’s one of the Sweetest Taboos I have ever had even though it left me with very real but ‘hidden’ scars!

If u are strong enough to take a One time finger dip and promise to Never Ever go Back,it is a nice notch to have! :lol:

Memories,aghhhh smdh!
Merning!!!!

Dude

January 20th, 2012
8:52 am

I can’t identify with this topic at all, I work with all dudes :(

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
8:59 am

TGIF

Um, I cannot recall having a ‘crush’ on someone i’ve worked with. I was already dating a guy that ended up working at my 1st job back in high school but that about sums it up. Oh, and my ex and I worked together but that was hardly bloomed out of it being a crush. I couldn’t really stand him at first until after we started spending 8+ hrs at work together and it went from there. For the most part, i’ve worked mainly around females up until recently. Now i’m surrounded by men on a weekly basis (car dealers) :-(

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
9:01 am

Dude – All dudes? What industry do you work in? (and no i’m not asking so I can size up your wallet either lol)

disco

January 20th, 2012
9:02 am

Good morning. must say I was a wee bit disappointed with the topic. not because it’s not a good topic but because it doesn’t relate to me on any level. never had an office crush. never really worked in an office where there was anyone to crush on. seems to me that a little office eye candy could only make the workplace a bit easier to bear.

Hi It's Me

January 20th, 2012
9:11 am

There are a lot of handsome, accomplished people of both genders where I work, so the opportunity for a crush is always there…

But the only one I’ve had is still going strong, two years in. (Does that sound pathetic? LOL). In my current position it would be highly inappropriate for us to date. However, I will probably be changing jobs soon, so I’m excited to see what happens after that… :)

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
9:16 am

disco – I see that you, Dude and myself are pretty much in the same boat. Don’t fret my pet, I’m sure the topic will change in no time. lol I already want to mention Ryan Brunn that killed that little girl, being found ‘unresponsive’ in his cell but figured it was waaaaaay too early to switch it up. But by me mentioning it in this very post, I guess i’ve sorta already done that huh? Oops :lol:

Dude

January 20th, 2012
9:16 am

I work in IT, I work in a basement away from corporate.

Dude

January 20th, 2012
9:17 am

The inhuman SOB is dead that is what is important. Good Riddence!!!

Kiki

January 20th, 2012
9:17 am

I had an office crush.
It was fun…but deffenately distracting, and ended badly. Then it became akward.
I think that it can be easy to be attracted to someone at work because it is gennerally a place where we all try to look and act our best. So once you cross that line they aren’t always the person you thought they were. But just because you have a crush doesn’t mean you have to act on it….Dream away my fellow office crushers!

And seriously…if it doesn’t relate to you, then move on. They asked “Have you ever had an office crush? If yes, let us know what happened!” so if no…no need to comment.

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
9:20 am

Hi – So have you two been keeping it hush hush for the last 2yrs or does other co-workers sorta have an idea something strange is going on? Any copy room hookups? Stairwell slob sessions? (channeling Exiled)

disco

January 20th, 2012
9:22 am

and I hate to be starting something especially this early but it is what it is. I never ever (NEVAH EVAH) seem to work with any people of color at all. not saying a white guy can’t be good looking just saying that I’m not generally attracted to them.

mark

January 20th, 2012
9:27 am

dISCO GLAD TO HEAR A SISTA IN aTLANTA NOT ADMIRING THE WHITE MAN..PRAISE MOSES!..LOL

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
9:28 am

They asked “Have you ever had an office crush? If yes, let us know what happened!” so if no…no need to comment.

Um…thanks for the instruction. I was not aware that we didn’t have to comment. Annnnnnd moving right along. :roll:

Dude – I don’t think he killed himself. They simply found him unresponsive, not hanging from his cell with the sheet tied around his neck. I almost think someone killed him. But it’ll come out soon enough. Just doesn’t make sense to get around the death penalty to turn around and kill yourself. Either way, like you said Good riddence

disco

January 20th, 2012
9:34 am

mark – I detect sarcasm. I’m not in Atlanta. white man are okay. just not my cup of tea. seems like I have really wonderful friendships with white men and I think that’s primarily because there are no expectations. expectations are a bad boy.

Dude

January 20th, 2012
9:38 am

Just watching a video of one of Georgia’s representatives, he believes that Guam is going to tip over. Old video, but I can’t see how people ever elected such an idiot.

Leggs

January 20th, 2012
9:40 am

Good morning.

Not much eye candy where I work. So, no.

Leggs

January 20th, 2012
9:42 am

Hit enter too soon….there is a nice, chocolate brother here who is 31 years old. Deep sexy voice. I found out that he’s a virgin saving himself for marriage. Not a crush, just like looking at him when I see him in the hallways.

disco

January 20th, 2012
9:43 am

I did work at a place once that was practically a meat market (not for me but in general). there were several husband/wife teams there and several couples that were actively dating. I often wondered if HR was running a matchmaking service on the low.

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
9:46 am

I think we need to put the word ‘expectations’ in timeout, at least until next week. lol

Strangely enough, out of all the men I am around on a weekly basis, NONE of them ring my bell or peaks my interest. YUCK

kimmie

January 20th, 2012
9:46 am

Morning All & Merry Friday!!

I had an office crush about 15 years ago at another place I worked. We passed sexy notes to each other like school kids. We both worked in customer service. We started meeting up after work. He was fine, but lived with his girlfriend. I was free & single. He was my man-toy. We had fun for a little while. The fun stopped when I decided I was done with him and not only that, got promoted to a department supervisor. He was a real chauvanistic type – it wasn’t supposed to be over until HE said it was over AND he didn’t respect women in positions of authority. Even though I was not his direct supervisor, I still had to keep order in the department. One day he brought in a radio and blasted it. I told him very professionally that his had to turn it off. He snapped at me and one of the directors had to mediate a meeting between us. He said I spoke to him like a child. I didn’t but if I did his behavior certainly warranted it!

Into the Light

January 20th, 2012
9:51 am

Dude: I watched that video yesterday. I was smh….

Dude

January 20th, 2012
9:53 am

Kimmie, if you knew he was all those things why did you hook up in the first place?

Kym

January 20th, 2012
9:55 am

Good Morning All,

I racked my brain and I can’t think of one office crush..I work with mostly women in my office and the dudes in this joint ain’t worth a second look..(yeah I said it)..

I would be curious to know the results of the autopsy on killer..and what unresponsive means..I am betting poison…

Leggs

January 20th, 2012
9:56 am

I’m not surprised the punk took the coward’s way out.

Exiled!

January 20th, 2012
9:57 am

@Leggs..hit enter too soon!

Absolutely,! a lil foreplay is always good. :lol:

@Kimmie,that’s the most gangsta I’ve read from u in 5 years! Man toy ha?

I didnt know u had that in ur repetoire.

Nice! :lol:

Slim,9:20? blaming me for everything

I know u got that side in urself too! :lol:

disco

January 20th, 2012
9:58 am

slim – I feel you on the “banned” word but I needed it to make that point. I have one SWM friend in particular. he and I got along great. hung out, went places, etc. heck, some folks actually thought we were dating which we were not. because we lived relatively close together and were both single we just tended to be each others “standby” for those quick “what you doing, do you wanna” moments. he moved to California a while back and I was actually shocked by how much I missed him. we still keep in touch though. had he been someone that I would have considered actually dating I don’t know that the relationship would have worked out the same way. the banned word might have messed things up.

Fion

January 20th, 2012
10:00 am

On topic,I’ve been temped a few times, but never acted on it. The best advice I got years ago starting out professionally was never date / get sexually involved with a woman on the job.
I’ve seen others do it and I never saw it work out positively for either party.

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
10:01 am

kimmie – Dang, sounds like ole boy threw a temper tantrum :lol:

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
10:03 am

disco – it sounds like you two worked the ‘no pressure friend’ angle, which at times can be a great foundation towards a relationship. So what exactly held you two back from crossing the line to datedom?

kimmie

January 20th, 2012
10:05 am

Dude – Cause he was fine & hot, we were attracted. You said the magic words – a hookup, was not looking at him to be THE ONE!

Don’t feel sorry for him – he did just fine. He & his live-in girl friend got married a few years later and went to Europe for their honeymoon.

Dude

January 20th, 2012
10:05 am

We have all hooked up with the wrong people, we all make mistakes I guess

kimmie

January 20th, 2012
10:07 am

Exiled/Slim – :lol:

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
10:09 am

Ex – We all have it in us but to different degrees. Maybe your new moniker should be Excessive

kimmie

January 20th, 2012
10:09 am

This dude was about 10 years older than me too. I was not about to let a little fling get in the way of my career though. That’s the one and only time I’ve fished in the work pond. Generally not a good idea.

GamePlan

January 20th, 2012
10:11 am

About 5 years ago I had multiple office crushes and things got real wild real fast. Had some conference room, office, stairwell, car during lunch, etc. hookups. I deserved to be fired on the spot cause my behaviour was totally inappropriate. I’ll admit that it was fun, but totally stupid!

disco

January 20th, 2012
10:11 am

slim – honestly in all the years I’ve known him we’ve never discussed it. when we first met – at work no less – he was married. they were from California and moved here for the wife’s job. we both changed jobs but we kept in touch. he eventually divorced and his ex-wife relocated (to Georgia incidentally). he was newly single with free time and so we hung out. I had no interest in crossing the line and I can’t imagine that he did. he ultimately returned to California and that’s that.

Exiled!

January 20th, 2012
10:11 am

Disco?

Ok no dating with him SWM?

how bout shenaneegans,quickies on the sly with him?

none either? he was just a club,drink beer and hang out with guy,that’s All?

kimmie

January 20th, 2012
10:11 am

I will say though, having some eye candy and hearing the office gossip surrounding them does make work a whole lot more interesting, I’m not gonna lie! Some of the work soap operas I’ve witnessed would put Young & the Restless to shame!

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
10:17 am

GP – How old were you during this time of office grinding and are you male or female?

disco – Oh okay…

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
10:18 am

kimmie – Too much clicking & gossip goes on here. I just can’t get into it. Glad my office is in the broom closet lol

Purple

January 20th, 2012
10:19 am

In my younger days I developed a work crush and it turned into about a 16 month relationship. One other time besides that one I had a physical relationship with a co-worker, it was purely physical and trips to Vegas and the beach. As I got older the thrill left on work place relationships. Now that I am out of corparate America I do not have any temptations lol

Dude

January 20th, 2012
10:21 am

I feel ya slim, in my work we don’t talk about much, except work, corporate america can suck when it comes to being social.

disco

January 20th, 2012
10:22 am

EX – that’s absolutely it. nothing else at all. still we did get along fabulously and folks noticed which is probably why folks probably thought we were dating. heck, now he’s on my mind. I’m going to have to shoot him an email today.

slim – the broom closet??? still it probably beats a public cubicle any day.

kimmie

January 20th, 2012
10:22 am

Slim – Nothing goes on much where I am now, which is fine. I kind of keep to myself anyway. Don’t have interest in all that now. But back then it was wild!

GamePlan

January 20th, 2012
10:24 am

I’m male and was around 27 at the time. All this went down over about a 2-3 year span. 2 of the females were in the ATL office but worked in different departments, and 2 of the other females were in an office out of state that I traveled to regularly. They were in the same department. Still trying to figure out how I pulled that off.

disco

January 20th, 2012
10:24 am

dude – just talking about work and that’s it. that sounds perfect. I can’t stand all the socializing that goes on at work. heck, I think that’s a big part of the problem when you are in high drama office. all that socializing makes folks too comfortable with one another. then you throw the phoney factor into the mix. uggh. it can get ugly.

MiMi

January 20th, 2012
10:26 am

I don’t have an office crush, but I have had an office “spouse” per se. This person was of the opposite sex and we spent a lot of time together while at work. Face it, you’re at work more than you are at home. These feelings may arise, but it is important that you don’t get them confused or act on them. For more topics about relationships, please visit http://www.datenightgurus.com

SlimNu

January 20th, 2012
10:28 am

disco – Have you ever seen the movie Office Space where the weird hefty guy keeps getting moved around, which I don’t even think he’s still employed there? That’s how it feels….if you could only see the office my dept was in before compared to now, you’d be like Dayum! It’s all good though because we’ve made it like a mini oasis in here ;-)

Dude – Here you really have to watch who you talk to and what you tell them because it’s a never ending exchange of OFB (other folks business). I’ll forever be reminded by my co-workers of the day my pot boiled over and i cussed out another employee for violating the laws of OFB. Slim’s niceness turned nasty. I even turned myself into HR to let it be known what went down.