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Should occupation matter?

If you have spent any time at all on the Atlanta dating scene, you’ve heard the following countless times: “What do you do?” which is usually followed by, “Where did you go to school?” Casual conversations can go from innocent flirting to archaeological dig for information in 60 seconds!

Everyone has their own angle to asking the career or occupation question. A lot of people believe that what a person does for a living says a lot about their character, personality….and bank account.

This is one of the reasons one of my guy friends tell women that he runs a non-profit when he meets them. This is only partly true because he actually runs the family business and runs the non-profit on the side. He says it is two-fold: It weeds out overly pretentious women who are only out to land wealthy men. It appeals to women who share similar interests and outlook.

I don’t know if this has worked well for him or not, but I do think about how much occupation matters – or does not matter – to a lot of us. Do you think it should?

What can you really tell about a person’s job, career, or career aspirations? When do you ask the person you are interested in dating or pursuing what they do for a living?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

335 comments Add your comment

Kym

January 19th, 2012
10:08 am

Somebody is lying..I am sorry but Blackfoote…but I don’t believe you. If you know a woman “in the past” made movies with Mr. Marcus..don’t tell me you gonna polish your halo and say all is forgiven… I am sorry I don’t believe you..

Leggs

January 19th, 2012
10:10 am

@M. ~ that’s not even a debate, A or B.

Purple

January 19th, 2012
10:12 am

Leggs part of my example was a prostitue at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada where it’s legal.

BF, well is she is good at her old job that could be a good thing. LOL

disco, yeah women roll back those cooch odometers when dating.

Exiled, if anyone says there are completely non-judgemental they are telling a lie.

kimmie

January 19th, 2012
10:12 am

Kym – You darn right about hair stylist. One of my stylist double majored in computer science and finance, with degrees from a major university. He worked at IBM and in investment banking but got tired of both. He makes major money doing hair and invests money for his family members still. His wife works from home but doesn’t have to and he’s able to take her & their son on some nice vacations.

I have a cousin that styles hair in Vegas and has a 2 million dollar home.

Yeah, hair is big business!

Purple

January 19th, 2012
10:12 am

Kym, according to Blackfoote he would date SuperHead if he really liked her personality and she didnt have a disease.

Into the Light

January 19th, 2012
10:13 am

Morning, all!

I’ve dated across the collar-colar spectrum, and the men I’ve been happiest with were the ones who had a job/career that made him happy.

@BF: You got evicted from the Penthouse???? Did you show them your badge? ;)

Hey, Purp. Long time, no see.

Fion

January 19th, 2012
10:15 am

@Kym
I wouldn’t be quick to go that route. If he knew all that going in, then he knew of her past and was good with it.
If he’s happy with it, then why can’t it be that way. Plus, who’s to say she never was in Love with the porn star, but truly Loved BF.

Exiled!

January 19th, 2012
10:15 am

A lot of times it’s not the job

It is the personality of (most)folks that work in a particular industry that you are trying to weed out.

That’s why folks will not date ‘below’ certain occupations.

A leggy,bootiliciou s and good looking chick that works at strokkers proly looks good on some man’s arm.

But what else of substance does she talk about that may appeal to a guy with loftier ambitions and other impressive credentials?

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2012
10:16 am

@Leggs

You would be suprised with what guys will put up with. I know guys that will not TOUCH a woman without a college degree. Some people just have different feelings on the level of education needed to succeed. Then there are guys that dont want super educated women. So I guess it works both ways or maybe the educated deal with the educated and the non educated deal with non educated i.e. dating someone with similar backgrounds?

Purple

January 19th, 2012
10:16 am

Hello ITL, been busy with life, Im rarely on the internet now a days. Just taking some time to speak to everyone and join in the festivities. Oh and if anyone emailed I forgot my password. I guess I can click the “forgot password” link.

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 19th, 2012
10:17 am

Kym:
That’s why we are all different, yours or anyone else beliefs don’t have to match with mine. Surely I can’t tell you how or what it is you should like, you and I make up our own minds.

kimmie

January 19th, 2012
10:17 am

I just like to be around people that love what they are doing and are happy and confident, whatever the profession.

If they are not happy with what they are doing, I want to hear that they are working to change their situation and not just sitting around complaining and making everyone around them miserable.

Oh, and I totally agree – everyone judges to some extent and to say you never do or don’t – you’re not being honest.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2012
10:17 am

@Kimmie

Did I read correctly, did you say hairstylist, him, and wife all in the same sentence?

czBrat

January 19th, 2012
10:18 am

um. perhaps my brain is in a slow thaw this morning, but i just don’t see two rational people having that debate, m.dot.

Kym

January 19th, 2012
10:20 am

@M.dot..are you about to do the typical sterotype that only gay men do hair..come on please not today…

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2012
10:21 am

@Kym

No I’m not I just wanted to make sure I was reading correctly.

Into the Light

January 19th, 2012
10:21 am

(ITL looking around for the quickest path to the exit, just in case)

disco

January 19th, 2012
10:22 am

once when just hanging out playing cards whatever my hairstylist made the comment and I quote “I’m not trying to be funny but I probably make more money in one day that any of y’all make in a week”. she shut some folks up with that one. heck, I know some bootleg braiders that pull down mad loot working in their living rooms. as kimmie said – hair is big business.

kimmie

January 19th, 2012
10:22 am

M dot – I meant to add the disclaimer that my stylist does not fit the stereotype – he is straight. I’ve been going to him since 1996. When he decided to go to hair school, his dad asked him the same thing.

Exiled!

January 19th, 2012
10:22 am

@Kimmie?

yeah hairstylists make money but have u been to one salon on a saturday afternoon, where the discussion is really brainy? even at my barber the discussions are not even there..I get my cut and get out.

That stigmatizes the industry and people.

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 19th, 2012
10:23 am

Kym:

Where did I get a halo from because if anyone knew my past it woudn’t consist of anything to do with halo. I’m not a religious person, I have faith and that’s it.

Kym

January 19th, 2012
10:23 am

@Blackfoote..on that you are correct..we all like what we like..but again I find it hard to believe that you will be okay with going out on the town with the “former Pinky” and being okay if someone comes up and says “YOU PINKY..I WOULD KNOW THAT A$$ ANYWHERE..MAN BACK IN THE DAY..I HAVE ALL YOUR MOVIES..!! WOULD YOU SIGN MY NAPKIN PLEASE?

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2012
10:23 am

@Kimmie

Thanks for the disclaimer!

Kym

January 19th, 2012
10:25 am

@Blackfoote..I didn’t say anything about religion..where you draw religion from saying halo? Nevermind don’t answer I am not going that way today either..

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 19th, 2012
10:26 am

Hey Light:

Where have you been, I think my badge wore off its luster.

Kym

January 19th, 2012
10:26 am

Again another sterotype…I have had some of my best political debates and discussions inside the beautyshop..and before my son was old enough to go to the barber himself..I always like listening to the gentleman talk in the barbershop..

Leggs

January 19th, 2012
10:28 am

@Ex ~ you’re talking like those leggy, bootyliscious waitresses at Hooters don’t have a brain or can participate in intelligent dialogue (lolol)…everyone at Hooters is not a bimbo (lol).

@M. ~ I understand that, but your example had her with a degree, no personality, negative attitude, don’t get along with her, but is attractive. I thought with all that going on, it’s not debatable….that’s all.

czBrat

January 19th, 2012
10:29 am

ahhhh. kym, you take me waaaay back! luved sitting in the barber shop while thing 2 was in the chair. it was like eavesdropping in the land of men. lol.

Into the Light

January 19th, 2012
10:29 am

@BF: We’ll have to get you another badge. We have to have a blog sheriff. :) I’ve been here, working like a mad woman, but happy to be busy and employed.

kimmie

January 19th, 2012
10:30 am

Exiled – Yeah, it depends on the salon sometimes. The higher end ones tend to employ the more “creative” types that are deep on a different level, than the ‘hood shops. But you can learn a lot from just listening even in the hood. All can have something valuable to offer to a discussion. For example, I went to my other stylist in the hood a few times during the E Long debacle. It was eye-opening and lively, to say the least!!

SlimNu

January 19th, 2012
10:30 am

Kym – thanks for shutting that down asap. We do NOT want a misunderstanding repeat like yesterday lol

kimmie

January 19th, 2012
10:32 am

Kym – I LOVE barbershop and beautyshop talk!!

Kym

January 19th, 2012
10:32 am

@SlimNu I missed yesterday..

Leggs

January 19th, 2012
10:32 am

@czB ~ that’s what I’m saying (your 10:18)!

disco

January 19th, 2012
10:33 am

plus – “hood type” salons often have the best “shopping”. last time I was at the salon a guy came in with a rolling suitcase. turns out he was selling mac makeup. I was thinking I done seen it all. the cake man, pie man, cd/dvd man, incense man, dress man etc. now there’s even a makeup man.

SlimNu

January 19th, 2012
10:35 am

Many of the best convo’s are had in a salon or barber shop…But I wonder if you go to your local Super Cuts if you get the same stimulation lol

SlimNu

January 19th, 2012
10:36 am

Disco – did he offer a free makeover too? :lol:

Kym

January 19th, 2012
10:36 am

@disco…I met E.Lynn Harris..before he was “the E.Lynn Harris” back when he was selling his books out of the trunk of his car at the local barber and beauty shops.

Leggs

January 19th, 2012
10:39 am

Hmmm, trying to figure out which word the blog monster doesn’t care to digest is getting on my nerves…

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 19th, 2012
10:41 am

LOL….@Light

It is good to be employed, I know a few who are still looking or have given up.

Leggs

January 19th, 2012
10:41 am

@disco ~ don’t forget about the “fru*it” man at the shops. They seem to have the juici*est waterme*lon cubes and sweetest pine*apples (lol).

Leggs

January 19th, 2012
10:42 am

Ridikicu*lous….

kimmie

January 19th, 2012
10:42 am

disco – I wish a makeup dude would roll up in one of my shops!!

Into the Light

January 19th, 2012
10:42 am

Wait….you can buy fruit at the beauty shop???

disco

January 19th, 2012
10:43 am

ITL – my thoughts exactly. haven’t run into a fruit man yet but I admit that I have bought that budget jewelry from the jewelry man a time or two.

Blackfoote: Thrown Back Under The Stairwell

January 19th, 2012
10:44 am

LOL……@Slim1

I read today before I commented on anything, unlike yesterday when I jumped in the fray.

Leggs

January 19th, 2012
10:45 am

Machine must have indigestion, doesn’t seem to like fruit words.

@ITL ~ YEP! Small container $3, large $5.00-6.00. Usually has chunks of pine*apples, strawberries, grapes and watermel*on.

SlimNu

January 19th, 2012
10:47 am

Leggs – there usually is a Fr uit lady outside of the likka stow off Camp Creek AND a cd/dvd guy

disco

January 19th, 2012
10:47 am

I wish fruit man would roll through my office right now. I’d buy the big cup.

Into the Light

January 19th, 2012
10:47 am

Me, too, Kimmie….especially if he’s got the good stuff.

Thinking about the DVD man reminds me of a conversation a friend and I had a couple of weeks ago:

Her: I finally saw The Help over the holidays
Me: Me, too! It was so good. I’m so glad they had it at the Redbox
Her: Oh, we got ours from uh, you know….
Me: Oh, yeah? But was it still good?
Her: Yeah, until the end, when some guy stood up and blocked everything.
Me: :shock: and :lol: