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Does Marriage Really Make People Happier?

I am a firm believer that marriage needs good PR – well better PR than the Kardashians would be a good start. Those of us who have never been married before hear the horror stories and cautionary tales of marrying the wrong person. It is probably one of the biggest concerns many of us have.

A lot of people believe that if they find the right person and get married, their lives will make them happier – richer, and more satisfying. I happen to believe that it can but that is not the reason I ultimately want to marry. I want to get married because I love the man that asks me to marry him. I know, crazy concept!

The Journal of Marriage recently published a study that revealed:
“While both marriage and cohabitation provide benefits over being single, these reduce over time following a honeymoon period.”

I could argue that being single has its moments too – there are days when it can be super annoying and lonely – just like in a marriage.

The researchers also stated that “compared to most industrial countries America continues to value marriage above other family forms. Marriage is by no means unique in promoting well-being and that other forms of romantic relationships can provide many of the same benefits.”

What do you think? Do too many people get married thinking it will make them happier. Would that explain our brief marriages, high divorce rates, etc.?

I always say, if you can’t be happy single, being married won’t change a thing. Miserable singles marry each other and become miserable couples. Miserable couples have miserable kids. That’s lose-lose, man.

Are we on a quest to marry so that we can have happier lives?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

271 comments Add your comment

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 18th, 2012
2:42 pm

What I misinterpreted, I thought they were speaking about me. Sorry Which One I have the same name, Ex that’s my name and I thought they were referring to me.

kimmie

January 18th, 2012
2:43 pm

Fion – And isn’t that life? That’s true with anything. There are expectations associated with being married, just like they are with being single. There is no way around it.

For example, I expect my husband to come home to have dinner with me and the kids every evening. If he can’t make it, I expect for him to call letting us know where he’ll be and when he’ll be home. If he starts going out with friends every evening and not calling and coming in at 2am – yes, my expectations for how a married man with 2 young kids is supposed to be behaving will be unfulfilled. Yes, I will complain and be disappointed. That is not what I signed up for, especially if he didn’t exibit that behavior before we married. If he wanted to hang out with his friends every night, he should have let the kids stay with their grandparents or aunt and never got married.

Exiled!

January 18th, 2012
2:44 pm

ogh ogh ut agh

Celisea?? Where are u?

cba

January 18th, 2012
2:45 pm

SlimNu

January 18th, 2012
2:45 pm

Wow, are we really still doing the multiple personality/moniker spill? :roll:

Exiled!

January 18th, 2012
2:47 pm

who got keys to the under the stairs time out bin?

Which is it?

January 18th, 2012
2:47 pm

@Blackfoote

Or did you put that foot in your mouth?

Lord Velonese

January 18th, 2012
2:49 pm

M. (pronouced M dot) wrote: “2. Guys really want to be 200% sure of who they are marrying because if it does not work out, the way the divorce system is setup, guys stand to lose a lot.”

Shhhhhhhh the ladies don’t want men to know that, you’re ruining there game. For me try 1,000,000 % sure. I know I know too much, and I spread the word to my fellow Brethren, and I won’t be silenced. I am not bitter I rule my life with an iron fist, but I do think the Bitty Bobby nickname is kind of cute (cough cough) sassy pants.

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
2:49 pm

@Which ~ although I have tears in my eyes from laughing, I can honestly say Robert and BF are not the same person…but it is his slave name. No double moniker dipping going on with him…Whew, my jaws hurt!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 18th, 2012
2:55 pm

For the record I do not drop multiple names, My name is Rob and I thought Which Is It was referring to me. All who want to have fun go ahead, I know it’s all in a days work. No Which Is It, I stay to real to put my foot in my mouth, but were cool. Look at the writing on the wall, we don’t write the same that’s one way of telling.

Lord Velonese

January 18th, 2012
2:57 pm

Ahem, Bitter Bobby.

SlimNu

January 18th, 2012
3:00 pm

Glad we cleared that up lol

I’m so ready to go home! :(

Exiled!

January 18th, 2012
3:01 pm

Blackfoote..just for coming in and not reading to get the flow of the discussion first

u get timeout

under the stairs buddy! :lol:

Fion

January 18th, 2012
3:01 pm

@Kimmie
First off let’s do a reset. I’m talking about a normal relationship (all things being equal) as it relates to the topic.
Giving, receiving love and impediments to those things.
Not sure where you are with the example you gave. I don’t think male nor female would want to be beaten by their mate/spouse.
That would be outside the quote- unquote normal relationship. I’m not really taking about abnormality.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 18th, 2012
3:04 pm

LOL…..@Ex

I know, I just dove right in. Fell from the Penthosue back to the stairwell.

Purple

January 18th, 2012
3:04 pm

My answer to today’s question is yes! If not then you married the wrong person. Howdy everyone!

kimmie

January 18th, 2012
3:05 pm

Fion – I went back and read, but where in the world did I say anything about being “beaten” by a spouse?

Looks like we all are a little off today…… :shock:

Mark Kerry

January 18th, 2012
3:05 pm

kimmie @ 2:30 pm.

Completely agree with media over-exposure! There’s WAY too much of it and its influencing too much of our lives, most of it negatively.

kimmie

January 18th, 2012
3:05 pm

Hey Purple, what’s shaking?!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 18th, 2012
3:07 pm

What’s up Purple.

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
3:09 pm

@Fion ~ ok, it’s my turn to be confused. Fion, how does your post resemble anything to kimmie’s post???

Not because I’m a woman, but her post makes sense where yours do not (lol)…

Fion

January 18th, 2012
3:09 pm

@Kimmie
You mentioned things that I didn’t talk about nor address. My comment to you is indicative in weirdness to you as yours was to me.
Just wanted to point that out to ya.

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
3:11 pm

Hey there, my Italian Studmuffin…how’s it hanging….how are you doing?

Purple

January 18th, 2012
3:12 pm

Hey Blackfoote, Hello kimmie!

kimmie

January 18th, 2012
3:12 pm

Okay Fion, whatever. Still don’t know what the H you’re talking about, but ooohhhkaaayyyyy……

:shock:

Purple

January 18th, 2012
3:12 pm

Hello Leggs it’s not hanging at all! LOL

SlimNu

January 18th, 2012
3:13 pm

Purple – I hope you rode in on your horse so you can save us from ourselves. It’s like the Twilight Zone up in this camp today :???:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 18th, 2012
3:14 pm

Merry New Year to you and the family.

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
3:14 pm

@Fion ~ although kimmie can handle this, I must barge in (it’s what I do). Her post wasn’t weird at all. You addressed “expectations” in your prior post and she gave examples.

Anyone else hear the Twlight Zone’s theme music????

Willie Dynamite

January 18th, 2012
3:16 pm

popcone, get ya popcone.

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
3:17 pm

@SlimNu ~ I hadn’t even seen your post re: Twlight Zone before I posted about its theme music….man, it is spooky in here.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 18th, 2012
3:17 pm

LOL…….I hear it Leggs. I can say I came from the Twilight Zone today.

cba

January 18th, 2012
3:17 pm

…….Houston, the ship is malfunctioning……

Purple

January 18th, 2012
3:19 pm

Thanks Blackfoote! All is well living life, smiling and happy.

Exiled!

January 18th, 2012
3:19 pm

Fion..give it to Kimmie

I think u lost her there

Expectation!

Did u hit the booty club last nite?

In that case u excused,makes one woozy sometimes when u get out :lol:

SlimNu

January 18th, 2012
3:19 pm

Kimmie – your post made sense to me too

Leggs – if Fion says he isn’t hearing the theme music then he’s lying lol

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 18th, 2012
3:19 pm

cba………I think we’ve reached the Event Horizon.

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
3:19 pm

OMG, cba, that is hysterial I almost tinkled laughing so much. BRB!

Exiled!

January 18th, 2012
3:20 pm

Fion is single

so leave him alone

Fion

January 18th, 2012
3:21 pm

Does what she laid out sound like a normal relationship? If a man is doing those things,does that sound normal to you?

kimmie

January 18th, 2012
3:22 pm

Thanks gang, just making sure I’m not going crazy!!LOL!!!

SlimNu

January 18th, 2012
3:23 pm

Leggs – oh heyal naw, you hadn’t even seen my post? slim now walking backwards slowly towards the door

cba

January 18th, 2012
3:23 pm

There was no warning……..it just, started
I’m getting vertigo

kimmie

January 18th, 2012
3:24 pm

Fion, let it go. I’m happy, my relationship is “normal” to me, my “expectations” are being fulfilled, so that’s all that matters.

Carry on!!!

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
3:24 pm

“Did u hit the booty club last nite?

In that case u excused,makes one woozy sometimes when u get out” – Keep em coming, keep em coming…Ok, that explanation makes sense of his post. Thanks Ex!

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
3:25 pm

@FION ~ HELL YEAH, THAT’S NORMAL! What’s wrong with you Man???

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
3:26 pm

I swear SlimNu, hadn’t seen your post!!!

Willie Dynamite

January 18th, 2012
3:27 pm

Leggs/Anyone – Did yall do the end of year Blog Awards like in years past? I missed the last few weeks of the year so I may have missed them.

Leggs

January 18th, 2012
3:27 pm

But, I am enjoying all this laughter on one side and folk STDH (scratching their damn heads) on the other side…

SlimNu

January 18th, 2012
3:28 pm

It’s not normal for a hubby to come home at a decent hour and if he can’t make it, ensure he let’s wifey know he’ll be late? Aye Caramba! I need to sit down? Room spinning outta control. Quick, someone slide me an emergency shot of Goose!