Does Marriage Really Make People Happier?
I am a firm believer that marriage needs good PR – well better PR than the Kardashians would be a good start. Those of us who have never been married before hear the horror stories and cautionary tales of marrying the wrong person. It is probably one of the biggest concerns many of us have.
A lot of people believe that if they find the right person and get married, their lives will make them happier – richer, and more satisfying. I happen to believe that it can but that is not the reason I ultimately want to marry. I want to get married because I love the man that asks me to marry him. I know, crazy concept!
The Journal of Marriage recently published a study that revealed:
“While both marriage and cohabitation provide benefits over being single, these reduce over time following a honeymoon period.”
I could argue that being single has its moments too – there are days when it can be super annoying and lonely – just like in a marriage.
The researchers also stated that “compared to most industrial countries America continues to value marriage above other family forms. Marriage is by no means unique in promoting well-being and that other forms of romantic relationships can provide many of the same benefits.”
What do you think? Do too many people get married thinking it will make them happier. Would that explain our brief marriages, high divorce rates, etc.?
I always say, if you can’t be happy single, being married won’t change a thing. Miserable singles marry each other and become miserable couples. Miserable couples have miserable kids. That’s lose-lose, man.
Are we on a quest to marry so that we can have happier lives?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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271 comments Add your comment
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
1:16 pm
POLO….
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
1:17 pm
I think we’re experiencing Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Let’s sit back and watch the pod people …
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
January 18th, 2012
1:28 pm
Let’s sit back and watch the pod people …
k…
Mark Kerry
January 18th, 2012
1:28 pm
I believe happiness is a state of mind. As the saying goes, “Most look for happiness elsewhere, while the smart ones grow it under their feet.”
You have to create your own happiness…
SlimNu
January 18th, 2012
1:34 pm
I see we are having a pretty slow day in here today…any and everything in life has pros & cons. I think having a special partner in your life makes it that much sweeter and I’d prefer that to the fast life of singledom. However, I wouldn’t just want someone for the sake of companionship. I want a homie, lover, friend that supports, appreciates and loves me. No, one doesn’t have to be married to have that but the idea of it adds a bit of stability and propsed committment to the mix. In shacking up, either party can walk at any given moment. I’m not blinded by the wedding fairytale visual but am more concerned about the loyalty, committment and desire to want to make it work.
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
1:36 pm
Well, one Pod Person has popped out…Mark Kerry! Welcome to Earth.
Robert
January 18th, 2012
1:37 pm
“Are we on a quest to marry so that we can have happier lives?”
I am sick and tired of watching all my friends find love & happiness (marriage). At this point in my life I would rather love one woman a thousand times and give her all my love, than love a thousand different women. I have so much love to give. Ladies, ex-players who have made changes in their lifestyles (faith, hope & charity) make great husbands and fathers because we are not afraid to show our real emotions and feelings.
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
1:38 pm
Or Hell, depending on how you look at it.
Exiled!
January 18th, 2012
1:38 pm
Mark Kerry?
so?? I agree but if u bring another person in your life then happiness = ur creation x(multiply)the other person’s creation) + the other person’s happiness= Uall together happiness/misery.
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
1:38 pm
Since we are talking about marriage..
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
1:41 pm
@Robert ~ I mean no disrespect, but you do realize you come off weird on this blog so can you imagine how you come across in person? Seriously, have you sat down and engaged in any retrospection lately?
All the way from the "303"
January 18th, 2012
1:42 pm
Whats up Gang!!! I never thought I would be the one to say this, and I can’t say for sure, But it appears that the commitment associated with marriage DOES make one happier… I dont think its for everybody, but when you get to that place in your life where its not just about you, then it can and should be the best thing ever…..
Exiled!
January 18th, 2012
1:43 pm
In marriage you can’t walk away just like that Slim
So that gnashing of teeth takes away the happiness,potentially
When shacking u can just kick him to the curb before gnashing of teeth so u got cover
Then u free to get another
Ain’t that bliss? Or blisser? wrd?
kimmie
January 18th, 2012
1:49 pm
Hey Simple Man!
How’s is going out there in Colorado?
SlimNu
January 18th, 2012
1:50 pm
Ex – I’m not scared of the work it can take to make a relationship/marriage work because that’s just my nature. The marriage would be to ensure that the chain snaps his neck back when he tries to get to close to the end of the yard lmao. J/k
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
1:51 pm
Dang, kimmie. I was going to let it ride to see if anyone knew it was him!
All the way from the "303"
January 18th, 2012
1:52 pm
Hey Kimmie!! (Waving from the corner)…
Its cold and I am so F****ng tired of Tebow, But otherwise life is good!
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
January 18th, 2012
1:52 pm
but you do realize you come off weird on this blog so can you imagine how you come across in person?
then
I needed that….
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
1:56 pm
I wasn’t trying to make you laugh, SassyMe.
One day he’s comes across as a horny stalker, another day he’s whining, another day he’s sincere in his quest, another day he’s belittling, IJS….
SlimNu
January 18th, 2012
1:58 pm
Leggs – is he the ne that doesn’t make it past date #1?
cba
January 18th, 2012
1:58 pm
Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebo
kimmie
January 18th, 2012
1:59 pm
Leggs – Girl, from reading the post I knew it was him before I even looked up the area code!LOL!!
Simple – I feel ya. Glad life is treating you well. I would be sick of Tebow too!
kimmie
January 18th, 2012
2:00 pm
Leggs – I told him the other day he came off weird!!
Which is it?
January 18th, 2012
2:01 pm
Anybody pays attention on here?
Robert said a couple of months back while scouting female bloggers, can’t remember which, that he was turning either 35 or 36. Just another month or so prior to the so called birthday he said he met Oprah in 1984 and something to the effect that had he been better in love he would might have been able to seal the deal with her. That would make Robert about 7 or 8 back in 1984 if infact he’s in his mid thirties.
Coocoo for CocoaPuffs I’d say. Which is it Robert? Some people are paying attention when the keys to the looney bin goes missing
All the way from the "303"
January 18th, 2012
2:03 pm
Kimmie, what gave me away??
kimmie
January 18th, 2012
2:03 pm
Leggs – But then again, that is how a lot of so-called “nice guys” come off in real life. Someone was forever trying to set me up with or get me to give dudes that were just like him a “chance”. I didn’t know how to explain that they creeped me out!!
kimmie
January 18th, 2012
2:05 pm
Simple – First the “what’s up Gang?” – meaning you know us! Then the “I never thought I would be the one to say this” statement about the topic!
I’m very perceptive anyway!
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)
January 18th, 2012
2:06 pm
I know you weren’t Leggs…it just came across to me as funny…I digress. Do carry on…
Willie Dynamite
January 18th, 2012
2:06 pm
Afternoon All,
On Topic- If Marriage itself make someone happier then at some point you will have a reality check. As stated before, you really have to be happy with yourself Married or Single. Marriage doesn’t complete you or define you. I find it funny that folks are always on the search for something specific to make them happy. That feeling is fleeting because you are looking for the destination instead of enjoying the journey.
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
2:09 pm
@SlimNu ~ He’s one of two.
Mark Kerry
January 18th, 2012
2:10 pm
Exiled! @ 1:38 pm: Everything works in theory. Real life, especially when it involves feeling and emotions, doesn’t work on formulas or logic.
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
2:11 pm
@Which is it ~ you made laugh and snort at the same time.
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
2:12 pm
Sshh, SassyMe. I was being PC….
Exiled!
January 18th, 2012
2:14 pm
Hey Simple!!
I thought Teebow is a cool guy on the str8 and narrow.
Why don’t folks like him?
Mark Kerry
January 18th, 2012
2:16 pm
The exact quote is: “The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.”
I don’t think you become happy by pursuing happiness. I think you become happy by living a life that means something, either to yourself, to someone else, or both.
Just my $0.02…
Fion
January 18th, 2012
2:21 pm
What do you think? Do too many people get married thinking it will make them happier. Would that explain our brief marriages, high divorce rates, etc.?
To many people marry with Expectation riveted in their heads not realizing there’s nothing that will kill a relationship faster than expectation.
kimmie
January 18th, 2012
2:27 pm
I see nothing wrong with expectations – as long as they are rooted in reality. You also need to be contributing to that expectation.
As long as the expectations are realistic and you are both on the same page with your expectaions, what’s the issue?
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
January 18th, 2012
2:28 pm
Be a happy person first before relying on a marriage to make you happy. You don’t have to be married to be happy, happiness begins with you not a marriage. Marriage is a wonderful thing, it’s a foundation to build on a happy life together.
kimmie
January 18th, 2012
2:30 pm
Exiled – A lot of times it’s not the person(Tebow, Kim K, Beyonce’, etc), it’s the media overexposure. You get sick of seeing/hearing them. They are going about their lives, doing/saying what they do. The media wants them in our face 24/7.
Fion
January 18th, 2012
2:30 pm
Having expectations sounds great until they go unfulfilled. When they are unfulfilled we complain, but most importantly we are
disappointed.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
January 18th, 2012
2:32 pm
Which One Is It:
Sorry fella I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. In 1984 I was 23 and a happily married dude at the time. Me and Oprah have never laid eyes on each other.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
January 18th, 2012
2:36 pm
Good Afternoon:
I must have missed something one day.
All the way from the "303"
January 18th, 2012
2:37 pm
Ex, I have no issue with Tebow..But he is on TV like 24/7….and on the radio, newspaper, and billboards more than that!!! Running Joke here is that he is the most famous white Bronco since OJ’s!!!
Exiled!
January 18th, 2012
2:38 pm
There u have it..these oops of not changing monikkers nimbly enough..
Or are u coming out Blackfoote/Robert?
reminds me of the ‘there it is’ song!
@Kimmie..I know..a lot of athletes point to the sky and do the cross..a lot
Teebow goes a step further and lives the life and folks are upset!
I don’t get it..what’s the difference.
The man is a virgin and still gets hate
What do folks want?
Debauchery flaunted??
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
2:39 pm
@BF ~ you do realize “Which is it” isn’t talking to you…I am cracking up.
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
2:40 pm
BF are you saying you’re Robert too….ummmm…..
Leggs
January 18th, 2012
2:41 pm
“Teebow goes a step further and lives the life and folks are upset!” – that’s what I don’t understand, people hating on him simply because he’s true to himself. I like him….
Willie Dynamite
January 18th, 2012
2:42 pm
ut oh
Exiled!
January 18th, 2012
2:42 pm
He is Leggs?!
cracking up on u
Robert has multiple personality
Hope u not the drag quern/guy i saw under the bridge Blackfoote
now cracking up!
America!
Land of possibilities 
Which is it?
January 18th, 2012
2:42 pm
@Blackfoote
What are you talking about? That post was for Robert the flim flam man.