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Signs the relationship is over

Sometimes a relationship starts to come apart slowly, unraveling like cheap clothing. You see and feel the difference but you don’t want to be the one that brings it up. You hope things will get better but they only get worse.

A lot of times, breakups are inevitable but how do you know when it is really over? Every couple go through tough periods, but how can you tell it’s a rough patch or the end of the road?

What are signs that a relationship is over? Would you try to stay and find a way to make it work if you have signs that the other person has given up?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating

192 comments Add your comment

Kym

January 12th, 2012
1:50 pm

Okay why is it I come back from lunch and enter in on the strangest conversations..Stank drawers..one time it was some other kind of drawers…I do believe we are becoming panty/drawers obsessed up in this piece.

Ms5

January 12th, 2012
1:59 pm

you ask..”when will I see you again”, his response “I’ll let you know”…..

czBrat

January 12th, 2012
2:06 pm

uh-huh. s/o and i have different laundry “styles” too, but for the benefit of not having to do it himeself he will gladly defer to my style and leave me with that task. i don’t mind though. i luv housework.

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
2:06 pm

@Ms5 ~ a response like that would have me taking a step back, saying “ummmm excuse me?” If we’re dating, don’t dismiss me like that. An open-end response like that dictates all the control in the relationship rests with the one making that statement all the while surveying other opportunities before getting back in touch with you.

czBrat

January 12th, 2012
2:08 pm

here’s one i’m guilty of —> “are you busy this weekend?”. “YES!”.
don’t even matter what part of the weekend dude had in mind.

kimmie

January 12th, 2012
2:11 pm

I love that old song, by the Three Degrees, from the 70’s, When Will I See You Again?

When will I see you again?
When will we share precious moments?
Will I have to wait forever?
Or will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through?

When will I see you again?
When will our hearts beat together?
Are we in love or just friends?
Is this my beginning or is this the end?
When will I see you again?
(When will I see you again?)
When will I see you again?

Celisea

January 12th, 2012
2:17 pm

Robert’s post was waaaaaay over the top. And too funny to do anything but laugh. lol

Ms5

January 12th, 2012
2:17 pm

@Leggs…that’s what I was thinking. Didn’t talk to him for a few days. Few days later, he called and asked me the same question, “when will I see you again”….my response…..”I’ll let you know”……he was speechless!

Willie Dynamite

January 12th, 2012
2:19 pm

Afternoon All,

On Topic – it seems a no brainer to say that communication is the key. HOWEVER it has been established on numerous occasions that Men and Women speak totally different languages. What i’ve noticed is that although a lot of men prefer the fade away if you translate some of the Ladies responses today they actually do the fade away pretty well. men will fade away and then swing back around in the hopes of re-establishing some kind of connection. Women just fade away never to be heard of from again. The only problem is that of course we Men know that sometimes ever so often we get that get back (of course not from the blog ladies right).

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
2:23 pm

We talked up Oceannaire’s yesterday. I just received an evite from them for a 5-course wine dinner on Jan. 20th for $100.00.

Kym

January 12th, 2012
2:23 pm

@Willie D..so I see dudes fade to black and then show up at the closing credits for more spotlight time? Yeah not working for me.

The older I get my “gift for goodbye” gets better.

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
2:26 pm

@Ms5 ~ I literally spit some of my bite-sized snickers onto my desk. EXCELLENT COMEBACK….EXCELLENT!

kimmie

January 12th, 2012
2:27 pm

Willie – I’m not gonna lie, as time went on, I was fine with the fade-away. I’m not one of those chicks that need “closure”. The bottom line is you don’t want me no more. I don’t need to have a “break-up” date or need to have it done in person. If you don’t want to call & tell me it’s over, that’s fine. The time I hated though, was the time between when the fade-away started and I got the message it was the fade-away. My pride was hurt, that’s all.

Of course now being married is a whole different ballgame. Fadeaway is not possible!

Willie Dynamite

January 12th, 2012
2:27 pm

Kym – Dudes don’t say goodbye we say “see you later” hahaha. Plus sometimes that gift for goodbye gets re-gifted. IJS

Celisea

January 12th, 2012
2:31 pm

I don’t think it’s that we don’t or won’t admit to having done “do-overs”, I think we’ve reached a point of knowing “do-overs” will just get done the say way and an eventual goodbye….

Celisea

January 12th, 2012
2:34 pm

Third try….gheesh

I don’t think that we don’t admit to having done “do-overs”, I just think we’ve come to learn that “do-overs” are just done over the say way they happened the first time and goodbye is eventual….

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
2:34 pm

@WillieD ~ I’ll speak for the ladies here (even if I’m wrong). At the ages we are now, more than likely no “get back” after saying goodbye. Now, us blog ladies back in the day may have a different answer. When you mature, some things you no longer compromise on. Being thought of after the fact is one of them.

Willie Dynamite

January 12th, 2012
2:34 pm

Kimmie – Dudes thrive on that in between time. Most Women until they have been through it a time or two need that closure to reconcile the message. Really we get away with what we can until we can’t. Then we K.I.M
We also know Pride is a Sin and most Women can’t fathom why a Dude is not jumping through hoops for them. Jaded perhaps, Naive perhaps? Women play the game waaaaay better but Men practice more, hence the skewed Misadventures.

Celisea

January 12th, 2012
2:39 pm

Honestly, it hurts more to hang on to somebody moving on than the played out shenanigans. I think that’s what we (at least) me are saying. We are not removed from any of the the stuff that happens in dating but I know for me, pride is a mug and I’ll hurt like hell before I show a dude that or any weakness. While I know any “man” that knows a woman, knows the hurt is there after a bad breakup, I refuse to show and it give him that. Like the saying, never let ‘em see you sweat?? That’s how I feel about my person.

Celisea

January 12th, 2012
2:40 pm

And really if you let life’s stream move you along, you’ll just “outgrow” bullcrap on such a grand scale that it’s really silly to repeat the same silly mistakes because that’s what love and the game calls for.

kimmie

January 12th, 2012
2:45 pm

Willie – I guess I got jaded early, cause my mom schooled me against needed that closure after my first serious bf in college. She was always very frank. “Bottom line, he’s not interested anymore, so have some pride and quit calling him!” is what she would tell me. She let me know while your mom & dad think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread, every man doesn’t. It hurt to hear at the time, but she was right!

That in between time when I’m calling to see what’s up and he’s fading, I would think back and feel like a fool. But you are so right about dudes getting away with stuff until they can’t.

Pride is one sin I absolutely am guilty of.

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
2:47 pm

Pride definitely mimizes the amount of egg on your face!

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

January 12th, 2012
2:56 pm

Willie, you gonna sell them the whole store ain’t you!!

Reio

January 12th, 2012
2:57 pm

Hi all! Been away for a bit. In the hospital, and resting at home. I’ll try and get in on more discussions in the future as I continue to get better. Don’t even know what the topic is today, just thought I’d say hello.

kimmie

January 12th, 2012
3:00 pm

Reio – Welcome back and glad you are getting better!

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 12th, 2012
3:04 pm

men will fade away and then swing back around in the hopes of re-establishing some kind of connection.

WTH is up with that?!…swinging back through in hopes of what praytell. I’ve never liked it and the fact that you thought you could re-establish some kind of connection almost insults me…if we done then kick rocks por favor.

Women just fade away never to be heard of from again.

I’ve been guilty of this on several occasions and prefer this as my exit strategy. If we’re in a relationship then no I won’t just up and disappear…but once we’re done I’m out..no phone calls or “hey how u doin or just thinkin about you texts” either. Zip, zilch,nada. Now if you’re some random then yeah I’ll fade away like mist on a hot azz day in July and I like that….don’t judge me.

Willie Dynamite

January 12th, 2012
3:05 pm

Cel – I totally understand but at some point you know the right dude will see you sweat but he’ll be there with the cloth to dab it away. Don’t run.

Leggs – Pride don’t do isht but have you knitting quilts and feeding cats. j/k j/k don’t hit me.

Jake -Just handing out coupons to the store thats all. Seasonal workers need the foot traffic. A real Salesman knows he don’t have to sale. hahaha

kimmie

January 12th, 2012
3:05 pm

Jake – Nothing in the world new can be sold to us. Even when you think you’re getting over, newsflash – you’re not.

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
3:10 pm

Nice to see you here, Reio. Glad your on the better end of your recovery.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 12th, 2012
3:13 pm

Even when you think you’re getting over, newsflash – you’re not.

worth repeating…

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
3:15 pm

@WillieD ~ I beg to differ. Pride helps you to help yourself on many levels. When one speaks about pride, not saying they’re holding on or relinquishing ALLof their pride. No one should give up/swallow all of your pride. When one doesn’t have ANY pride is when one becomes reckless, stupid, careless and soul is compromised. You need to walk with pride in yourself if nothing else. That’s a good starting point.

Kym

January 12th, 2012
3:19 pm

O/T…I am so excited about going back to school!!! Sorry but I am looking at a new computer and I am hyped..carry on.

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
3:21 pm

“Leggs – Pride don’t do isht but have you knitting quilts and feeding cats. j/k j/k don’t hit me.”

Although I don’t knit, it is very relaxing. I love my cat! – Pride can keep you from going to jail!

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
3:24 pm

And not busting a beer bottle upside someone’s noggin (WillieD)!

kimmie

January 12th, 2012
3:25 pm

Leggs – I liken pride to self-respect.

As to my 3:05 to Jake. Unless I was just completely stupid or caught completely off guard, no man has done anything to me that I didn’t instinctively know was wrong. I just chose at the time to be in denial, gloss over it, make excuses, thus allowing him to do it to me. As I got older I got less willing to play dumb. I’m human and made mistakes like anyone and will continue to. But my eyes have always been open.

Reio

January 12th, 2012
3:26 pm

Kimmie & Leggs – Thanks. Glad to be home and able to rest. Once my daily routine levels out, I’ll be able to get in on more discussions. Thank you so much.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

January 12th, 2012
3:27 pm

Willie-couponing is pretty big these days…since you have already told it…the fade away works at about 87.2%. She don’t want to let go so you can ease away while still having a good time. The key is to keep it as cordial as possible, make her Understand that its not working, but keep her from hating you. And its always me, not you….lol. Fadeaway, Swish!!

Kimmie-you would be suprised what I got away with back in those days before I moved into Scouting instead of being an active player/coach.

Celisea

January 12th, 2012
3:29 pm

WillieD – Stooop…no running here :)

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
3:30 pm

Me too, kimmie. Pride = self-respect!

Willie Dynamite

January 12th, 2012
3:33 pm

Sassy – ummm, c’mon man. You got dudes knocking on your door after a year. You are not that naive. Sometimes its not that simple (puddy play) and it really is a reflection of growth/timing/maturity. Then again 9 out of 10 it is just a puddy play. (Tween me and you, nobody else reading, what kinda symbol you got on that cape flying outta your ….SP perhaps?)smile

Leggs – agree to disagree? My definition and your definition of Pride may differ thats all. Now put the beer bottle down and lets talk this out like folks. BTW nice blouse.

Jake – now you giving away the store.

Kym

January 12th, 2012
3:35 pm

Sounds like I said earlier..jokers want you to chase them..thanks but no thanks I bow out.

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
3:37 pm

Pride is pride, no matter how you slice it, WillieD. Some people don’t have it and will stoop to anything to get what they want. E.g., take the woman that jumps on the hood of her man’s car in the hopes of preventing him from leaving. To me, that’s a lack of pride, self respect, whatever you want to call it. If you have pride, you’d let that mofo drive that car down the road and hope it blow up….I digress (lol). I kid (Ito a point).

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
3:39 pm

Today is 1/12/12….there’s my 212

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
3:41 pm

They probably blocked that number!

kimmie

January 12th, 2012
3:42 pm

Jake – No, I wouldn’t be surprised at all. Most know when they are being played, just choose to ignore it.

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

January 12th, 2012
3:42 pm

WillieD…I kinda did huh….lol.

It doesn’t matter though, when that deer is in them headlights, it is confused as hellz..

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 12th, 2012
3:43 pm

Sometimes its not that simple (puddy play) and it really is a reflection of growth/timing/maturity.

That’s for him to deal with, not me. I get your point Willie, but that was him swinging back around trying to “re-connect”…not me and that’s why it was easy for me to send him on his merry way. He called me mean and had the nerve to ask me if I only cared about him when it came to “doing the grown”…to which my answer was, “That was our agreement/arrangement” so NO I don’t care about you outside of that. Of course we had physical attraction but that’s as far as it went for/with me…for him I can’t say and ain’t interested in knowing. I’m gonna do a Jay-Z and “Fade to Black”….sometimes that isht kills dudes.

Leggs

January 12th, 2012
3:46 pm

Ummm, WillieD/Jake ~ your post at 3:27 is nothing new. Most are aware of this technique.

kimmie

January 12th, 2012
3:48 pm

Leggs – That’s what I was trying to say – ain’t nothing new under the sun!

Kym

January 12th, 2012
3:49 pm

@Leggs I think I am going to play me a couple of numbers tonight..thinking about my birthday and the boy’s birthday.