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Why is the Lunch Date Popular?

We have a guest blogger today! Brian Jenkins has a timely topic about the lunch date trend. Check it out:

In our fast-paced world, lunch dating is increasingly popular with busy professionals. The lunch date is ideal because it isn’t as complex as the dinner date – it’s more relaxed and doesn’t have the pressure associated with a dinner date. It’s much, much easier to be yourself.

An offer for a lunch date is also more likely to be accepted by the person you’re interested in than is a dinner date. Besides, since lunch dates are shorter, you only have to be on your best behavior for a little while.

The best time to ask for a lunch date is when you’re feeling a good vibe during a casual conversation. It’s easier to ask for a lunch date if the offer flows with the conversation and doesn’t take center stage.

For women who don’t have a lot of experience asking a man out on a date, the lunch date is a great way to go. Many women find the lunch date offer fairly easy and if they get a negative response, it was just a lunch invitation, no big deal!

A lunch date is less demanding, involves less pressure, and takes less time than a dinner date, but it still provides an excellent opportunity to get to know each other. The lunch date lets you mix lighthearted fun with a little romance.

Low key restaurants work well. To keep it casual, consider selecting a place where you order the food at a counter and then find a table. Select a somewhat quiet place that allows you to have a conversation without screaming. Eat at a moderately priced restaurant. Fast food is alright if you know for sure the other person enjoys it. If time is limited, schedule the lunch date to begin before or after the busy 12:00 to 1:00 rush.

The conversation is vital. Don’t discuss work because the answer to a question such as “How is it going at work?” usually receives a boring response such as “It’s alright” or “I’m usually busy” and you both end up talking about problems at work. The good vibe easily disappears.

What do you think about the lunch date? Have you ever started a relationship with one?

Brian Jenkins writes about many different topics that relate to life in the workplace for BrainTrack.com.

221 comments Add your comment

I know why...

January 10th, 2012
8:01 am

It’s because the married sales woman I have been seeing loves to get freaky around the noon time hour. We have each other for lunch!

I know why...

January 10th, 2012
8:02 am

And another buffet is scheduled for today! WINNING!

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
8:37 am

Morning

Lunch dates offer a more relaxed posture. Meaning, although one is still on their ps and qs, I would think their “antenna” may not be as fully extended. Lunch dates afford a person an opportunity to see if a dinner date can materialize. Not only that, not as much $$ is spent and not as much time is invested…that is unless that lunch date goes into overtime.

disco

January 10th, 2012
8:59 am

good morning. I don’t know which approach to take. not sure of my mood yet this a.m. on one hand, I could make the argument that almost any date is welcome but I don’t think I really mean that. the lunch date has always been kind of popular if for no other reason than it’s faster and more cost effective. goodness knows we hear enough fellows on here whining about the cost of dinner. (j/k sort. surely not trying to start anything this early).

SlimNu

January 10th, 2012
9:01 am

Morning,

I wonder if one would find it harder to recognize the person inviting them to lunch has actual interest or just wanted company for lunch…

disco

January 10th, 2012
9:05 am

personally, I rarely leave for lunch unless I’m picking something up and coming right back. parking is a mutha where I’m at and if you move you lose. I’ve watched folks kind of linger in their cars for 15-20 minutes hoping someone will leave.

Randyt (aka time to shop for some new t-shirts)

January 10th, 2012
9:28 am

This is really not a bad idea for several reasons, although there are some caveats.

For a first time meeting from an Internet dating site, it offers several benefits, i.e., lower cost, more casual, and for the ladies, less of that BS occasional pressure from the jerks that think paying for dinner includes mandatory “entertainment” (jackazzes give men a bad name). Also, it gives an excuse to run for the exits more easily if the chemistry is definitely not there.

Caveats include this…it is an easier venue for attempting to date a coworker. That can be good or bad, depending on the lady (if it is a man doing the asking). Personally I have said many times that fishing off the company pier is almost never a good idea, IMHO. I’ve seen checks with a lot of “zeroes” written when things turn sour. In the approach, if the lady likes you great, if she isn’t in to you, it could (and I have seen it happen) lead to an email causing an unwanted visit to HR (hollering harassment)…and a descent into the unemployment line. The strange thing it is almost like the “retaliation” on the sports field…the first azz in a company that does it gets away with it, but the dude that is asking for the first time gets sent home.

I am fortunate that as of late, no one in my office really turns me on (not always been the case), but interoffice dating is a very delicate thing…so on topic, lunch dates are useful, but with caution.

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
9:39 am

“I am fortunate that as of late, no one in my office really turns me on…” This is too funny even with your caveats you’re willing to fish off the company pier…thanks for my laugh so early.

kimmie

January 10th, 2012
9:40 am

Morning All!

I went on a blind lunch date once years ago. I was SO GLAD it was only lunch and I had to get back to work in an hour. I don’t think I could have stood any longer with dude. We just didn’t have much in common and I didn’t find anything attractive about him. My play aunt set it up – she worked with the guy. I guess he was nice enough, but she & I just don’t have the same taste in men at all. He kept wanting to hook back up for another date, but one was definitely enough for me.

Celisea

January 10th, 2012
9:45 am

Morning lovelies

I actually like starting things off in this type setting (the other being coffee and/or dessert). It’s a small window of opportunity to get acquainted, see if you feel a spark, chat a little, eat a little. A small opportunity for intake. Maybe learn and make a few observations. It’s an opportunity for seeing the “possibility” and if there’s potential. When I’m asked out, “grabbing lunch” is usually what I suggest.

Outside of “the tab”, not too much is invested so if it’s a bust, nothing ventured nothing gained.

kimmie

January 10th, 2012
9:45 am

In fact, it kinda reminds me of yesterday’s topic. My play aunt was my mom’s best friend. Thinking back, they definitely didn’t have the same taste in men. Me & my mom thought alike – like I said yesterday, if mom had set me up with someone they would have been spectacular. I would have totally trusted her judgement. She would have loved my husband! Now my play aunt, different story. She always went for pretty boys that were no good or bad boys.

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
9:48 am

One thing I’ve noticed on that first lunch date or blind date, if I don’t see a smil, hear a laugh, even a chuckl anywhere during our time together, I’m ghost! If you’re having a bad day, please offer a raincheck.

Celisea

January 10th, 2012
9:49 am

And even though Diva didn’t quite go the path but it’s also the opportunity for “unavailable” folks to play. So there are pros and definitely cons. I don’t see it so much now (not that it’s not happening) but from the previous groups where I’ve worked, that was par for the course, lunch with dude or chick that’s been flirting and carrying on beyond what should be permitted.

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
9:49 am

I see my “e” is playing hookey…

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
9:50 am

Excellent point, Celisea! Unavailable folk acting like they’re available.

disco

January 10th, 2012
9:52 am

kimmie – re your play aunt hook up. reminds me of the mother of a friend of mine. she would always say that I would be a good match for one of her sons. this was many years ago before I was even checking for anything serious and my best friend’s brother was definitely not on the menu. still, the brother went on to get married and for the most part none of his family members can stand his wife. my friend’s mother still says to me “when he finally leaves her I want you to give him a chance”. it’s funny. thing is – her son really is a good guy. I recognized it back then, just wasn’t ready for it back then. oh well…

Celisea

January 10th, 2012
10:02 am

Leggs – Sho nuff.

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
10:11 am

@Celisea ~ I’ve noticed I have this guy who texts me Good Morning every morning and will sometime call during the day. However, once Friday rolls around, he’s ghost surfacing again Monday morning. Only known him a short time (a month), but this routine is too obvious. I can only snicker at the obvious and K.I.M…

kimmie

January 10th, 2012
10:11 am

disco – Your post reminded me of a story I meant to relay yesterday. Back about 5 years ago, before I met husband, I spent Christmas with some good friends and their kids. For Christmas dinner we went to a potluck one of her friends/neighbors was giving. Now my friend can really cook. You’ve heard me talk about how I love to cook. We both brought several dishes to the potluck. The hostess’s mom was there, from Baltimore. She really enjoyed the dishes me & my friend brought. She saw my friend was married, so asked me was I spoken for. I said no. She was sizing me up – “you can cook, you’re pretty, you’re intelligent – oh yeah you’ll make a fine wife”! She wanted to hook me up with her lazy pretty boy son that at age 40 was still living at home. She was bragging about how he had curly hair and green eyes. My friend asked what he did for a living. Mom said, “oh he don’t work”. We all looked at each other. His only claim to fame was being pretty! I politely told her I was not married but was already seeing someone. :shock:

kimmie

January 10th, 2012
10:12 am

Celisea – Oh yeah, you made an great point! EVERYBODY is single at lunchtime!LOL!!

Celisea

January 10th, 2012
10:18 am

Kimmie – Girl, it’s probably still happening in those areas but I saw so much of that. All I could do was SMH.

Leggs – Ask that dude outright what’s up? I’m sure that’s the cynic in me talking…lol Don’t have me as nothing if I’m not everythng. Okay that was all cliched and corny…lol Just saying. Don’t even play with me. You want something or not? If you don’t, get off my phone, get off my texts or help me understand. If we’re just text buddies cool. But don’t be trying have me situated and keeping your toe in the door JIC (just in case). Buzz off.

Okay I’m saying this nice and light…not mean and heavy nor cynical :)

disco

January 10th, 2012
10:18 am

kimmie – and to each his own but neither curly hair nor green eyes turn me on. I’ve never been a fan of “eyes not brown”. anything else looks scary to me. my friend’s brother was actually a good catch I just wasn’t trying to catch anything back then. I think I mentioned yesterday the lady that I met through volunteer (charity) work who wanted to hook me up with her son. my thought was that if your son was about something you wouldn’t need this charity I’m dishing up to you.

SlimNu

January 10th, 2012
10:20 am

kimmie – What?, You mean to tell me you passed on the opportunity to have some ‘pretty kids’?!! Wow :lol:

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
10:21 am

@Celisea ~ I plan on doing just that, but haven’t heard back from him as of yesterday. It’s all good, I haven’t invested anything in him. No emotions, no anticipation for the next “good morning” text.

Pretty boy with green eyes 40 years old still living with mother and no job = heightened co-dependency issues!!

oneofeach4me

January 10th, 2012
10:22 am

I like lunch dates… MUCH less pressure it seems. I will have to agree with Slim though… it’s kinda hard to tell if it’s just “lunch” or if someone is actually interested if the invitation is coming from someone you already know.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 10th, 2012
10:26 am

However, once Friday rolls around, he’s ghost surfacing again Monday morning…Unavailable folk acting like they’re available.

I still don’t understand why people do this…if you can’t play that’s fine but stay yo azz on the porch.

On topic: I think a lunch date is a good idea if you want to test the waters and get to know a person AND keep it light at the same time. Lunch is a structured time slot for many so it’s like having the best of both worlds…if lunch was great then dinner could be greater but if it was a bust then it’s no big deal so K.I.M…

Celisea

January 10th, 2012
10:26 am

Exiled!

January 10th, 2012
10:27 am

Lunch dates are Great!! for quickies! :lol:

@Kimmie..my late aunt(loved her to death,RIP ) set me up on a lunch date with one of her co-workers. We spoke on the phone and I asked what she was wearing…we hadn’t met yet,but Auntie would say she was a great chic..

Well,I’m shallow but real so I went over to the take away joint(carry out) hoping to meet her. She wad Not who I had in my imagination..lol

Rather than meet her but showing my huge disillusionment and utter disgust,I peeked her,as she was standing right there… and KIM :lol:

My excuse to her after lunch was,’ I was late and I think u were gone by the time I rolled by.’

Good morning!

Celisea

January 10th, 2012
10:28 am

I still don’t understand why people do this…if you can’t play that’s fine but stay yo azz on the porch.

Yep, yep and yep.

kimmie

January 10th, 2012
10:29 am

disco/Slim – Not into pretty boys AT ALL!! I like nice-looking manly-men!

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
10:29 am

“…it’s kinda hard to tell if it’s just “lunch” or if someone is actually interested.” – I would like to believe that during lunch, body language, certain questions, eyes twinkling, etc would be indicators as to whether I needed a warm body to warm the chair next to me, or I’m interested in getting to know you better. Now, if both parties are stoic and eating more than talking, it’s just lunch….

@Sassy Me ~ :lol:

Celisea

January 10th, 2012
10:30 am

Me too…crisp, clean cut, nicely put together. If you’re “pretty” please get on.

Exiled!

January 10th, 2012
10:30 am

SlimNu

January 10th, 2012
10:36 am

kimmie – Yeah, i’m not into the ‘pretty boys’ either. But folks do have that mentality that because so and so has wavy hair & light-skinned with green eyes, that you’d at least have some ‘pretty’ kids. :lol:

The beau actually has wavy hair and he told me in high school there was this other chick with wavy hair as well. All his friends would push him to talk to her saying that they’d make a great couple based simply on the type of hair they shared.

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
10:40 am

Yeah, and that’s when you get that big lipped, cross-eyed baby….I digress

@BF ~ scoot over and make room for me…the natives are coming, the natives are coming!

kimmie

January 10th, 2012
10:40 am

Exiled – LOL!!! Now you know “great chick, nice personality” means “not so attractive”!LOL!

I admit to being a bit shallow too, just a bit. Dude aunt setup was short & overweight. He was not bad looking in the face. I could have gotten past the height & weight if other factors that intereted me were there. But he was not intellectual or well-read enough for me – talked about how he liked Freaknik! And the kicker was his car. It was covered in mud like it had just been pulled from the bottom of a lake and there was what appeared to be a bullet hole in the windsheild, no joke!

disco

January 10th, 2012
10:48 am

I know I’m not fair for discounting all black men with not brown eyes but I can hardly look a green/gray/hazel eyed person directly in the eye. (i say this because “off color” eyes on white people don’t spook me). I surely can’t imagine waking up to what I refer to as “funny colored eyes” for the rest of my life. I suppose I could get past the “good hair” but I can’t get past the eyes. no way, no how. I remember one guy practically batting his eyelashes at me trying to get me to tell him he had pretty eyes. all I could think was he looked scary.

kimmie

January 10th, 2012
10:56 am

disco – I don’t have a problem with the eyes if the complexion is lighter, it seems to blend in better. What is scary to me is a darker-skinned guy with light eyes! I knew this guy that was very dark and had hazel eyes and full pink lips. Talk about scary!!

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 10th, 2012
10:59 am

I remember one guy practically batting his eyelashes at me trying to get me to tell him he had pretty eyes. all I could think was he looked scary.

:lol: Did he have his baby hair swag in effect,too?…

dyslexicbunny

January 10th, 2012
11:00 am

@Randy, I always called it “don’t put the pen in company ink”. But I like the pier alternative too.

disco

January 10th, 2012
11:02 am

sassy – no baby hair but he did have the curly hair thing going on too. he was brown skinned though. guess if he’d been light he would have thought he was a trifecta.

SlimNu

January 10th, 2012
11:03 am

O/T: Okay, I just randomly got msgs back to back of that Chilites song, “Oh girl” from the ex. I told him to quit sending me that crap…I mean the whole freaking song?!!

Exiled!

January 10th, 2012
11:04 am

those colored contacts always make some people look halloweenish!!

sometimes you can’t even tell if she’s looking at u or looking elsewhere…Scary! Lol

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
11:10 am

Dang SlimNu, your ex is feenin even harder now that he found out you’re in a committed relationship. Headsup, if his boy has your number, you may be hearing from him telling you again how messed up his head is right about now. I dated a guy that hid behind song. Somewhat refreshing in the beginning, until you realized everything he wanted to say or felt there was a song for it…it became disturbing.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 10th, 2012
11:16 am

Dang disco…yeah if he had the “trifecta” he would’ve tried to woo you. Then would’ve looked like :shock: when that playted out stuff didn’t work.

Celisea

January 10th, 2012
11:16 am

That is waay to funny and hopefully not stalker scary. Dude needs to just move on. Folks never miss the water until the well runs dry.

SlimNu

January 10th, 2012
11:25 am

Leggs – I really think that’s what it is, him knowing i’m with someone on a serious level. He said whenever he comes across certain quotes it makes him think of me. He also sent, “To be in a perfect relationship is impossible. As long as we are perfect together, that’s all that matters”. He is one of those guys who lives for the feeling of the chase. That’s also what contributed to us breaking up and getting back together so many times. He needs to try to get himself together right now.

SlimNu

January 10th, 2012
11:28 am

And this is the same dude who told me that women expect too much by wanting to be in a monogamous relationship. So i’m supposed to automatically EXPECT to be cheated on and accept it? :shock: :roll:

Leggs

January 10th, 2012
11:40 am

That’s exactly what he’s telling you, SlimNu….he created is own carte blance. He was simply hoping you were dense enought to follow through with his plan.

Exiled!

January 10th, 2012
11:40 am

He must be rooting for Mitt Romney then Slim..the Mormon

polygamy is right around the corner…

Obama or Romney?? :idea: ;)

I’m Conflucted! :?:

:lol: