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Should parents pick your mate?

Whenever I hear the words “Let me introduce you to my son”, I already know which direction the conversation will go. I hear it a lot, actually. What can I tell you? Mothers love me. I’m like the Mom Whisperer or something.

For years I have graciously declined the meet my son offers. I figured that well-meaning mothers really don’t know for sure if I am a good match for their sons. Further, how many men would actually look forward to being hooked up by their Mom?

Then I met a guy this weekend who is the son of a woman I have known for years. The fact that he is crazy handsome, successful, and charming as they come sort of changed my notion about Mother Matchmakers.

Maybe our Mothers really do know best and is it terrible to let them do a little matchmaking every know and again? Would you be open to being introduced to a potential match that your parents selected for you?

Have you ever met someone through their parents and things went really great?

On a semi-related note: I have always been fascinated by arranged marriages. A lot of cultures still practice this tradition and I would be curious to find out more information about the divorce rates among arranged marriages.

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

221 comments Add your comment

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
10:27 am

Hey disco, my kid was smaller so she’d go themed and all…Disney back pack…you know how little kids are at that age. She was all proud to wear her Disney backpack. All I had to say was, turn around for a second and vwalla. A couple pieces of chicken, sodas (juice box for her), Little Debbies, chips….and we’d be good to go. I would just say, don’t lean back to far (on the back pack)…lol

Robert

January 9th, 2012
10:29 am

@Leggs – Happy New Year!!!…The only thing I fear is God and I am not going to start no trouble in the house of the lord. I am very grateful that a Sinner like me can be in the presence of the lord and be acceptable in thy sight.

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
10:30 am

Hush, 2C. You ain’t seeing squat (lol).

Columbiana was very good!

P.S. if any you would like to read about a dumb, thirsty woman, please check out the Strawberry Letter.

kimmie

January 9th, 2012
10:32 am

With the home theatre setup we have at home now, we rarely go to the movies anymore. I do like Fork & Screen, though, where I can get spirits and a meal while watching the movie. That’s a nice date spot.

kimmie

January 9th, 2012
10:34 am

Leggs, I heard that mess. She is stupid as all get out.

I know we discussed it back when it came out, but me & boo watched Contagion last week. Excellent movie!!!

2CPTG

January 9th, 2012
10:36 am

Kimmie, I visited one of those setups (Fork & Screen) while out in Dallas – my son put me up on it…..nice vibe!

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
10:38 am

@kimmie ~ I don’t know if stupid is the right word for her….dumbph*uck is more like it!!!

Kym

January 9th, 2012
10:38 am

@disco..I am listening to a Michael Connelly(The Wire writer) Harry Bosch novel…I also have a book by Laura Lippman(author I found on amazon) that I am reading. I normally have two books going at a time. My favorite genre is mystery, thriller,etc.. Someone has to die to keep my interest…

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
10:45 am

Robert – I didn’t read your previous post but I’m agreeing with reverence to God!

disco

January 9th, 2012
10:47 am

kym – I’ve read several laura lippman books. her stuff is actually pretty good. one in particular (title I don’t remember) was about a little girl who went missing and resurfaced some 20 years later. not that you said someone has to die. funny but that’s why I didn’t care for little bee. I was expecting a book about genocide or something and turns out that was about 5 pages of the book. the rest is about some chick’s affair. who cares?

Albert

January 9th, 2012
10:51 am

Hell, no!
i once was in a situation in which the girl was in a relationship with another guy that turned out to be more serious than I thought. They eventually got married. Everybody in her family (or at least, her mother) seemed to take it as a given that she would marry this guy, although it was a long-distance romance. I have never been able to quite shake off the idea that although it wasn’t strictly speaking, arranged as in the days of old, or as in some Middle Eastern countries, the parents certainly didn’t mind that she married him and not me.

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
11:20 am

Has aliens abducted EVERYone?

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
11:24 am

Leggs – I was an alien throwback so I’m here. lol

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
11:30 am

Me too Leggs (got thrown back…lol). They said ut uh, too much work with that one…I kid

No I was in a meeting. Seriously though, got a 5:00 deadline on leg 2 of this project…gotta run. I can only peek and say something if I see something funny or crazy or weird.

Oh, if it ain’t happened by now, IT’S TIME FOR A TOPIC CHANGE :)

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
11:32 am

One more thing…I agree with the person that said his mama was too old…lol Mine too. She’s gonna want him “saved” before he comes in the door and really that ain’t happening. Gotta get them in there and THEN get ‘em saved. I know, every man within a 2 inch radius just ran. LOL I’m kidding though.

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
11:33 am

I WAS JUST KIDDING FOLKS, SERIOUSLY I WAS…LOL

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
11:35 am

C – You’re crazy lol Topic Change probably happened less than an hour in. lol

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
11:35 am

One more (for real) and I’m gone for a while. Why if a person sends an email blast to a gazillion people needing a response from each individual does every person on that blast “reply to all?” Why???? That means you’re gonna get a gazillion (less one) emails responding when really everybody just needs to respond to that one person that sent the blast.

I guess though common sense ain’t so common anymore.

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
11:36 am

I can’t concentrate because I’m too consumed with figuring out what I want for lunch today. I hate when that happens

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
11:36 am

Exiled!

January 9th, 2012
11:44 am

Celisea?

Are the brothers u see at church not saved?

are they also playing with the saved sisters or what?

Coz I wld think u can get a saved brother at church unless ofcourse if u implying that..ehhh

Ur cootie is da biznesz and will Absolutely make a brother wanna go to Chuurch in order not to miss out….please tell MIA brothers the 411

Speaking of mad cootie..u know the white Jew that killed the day care dad is proclaiming that he was insane when he did that..so we know Andrea Sneiderman’s cootie is da bizznes..a dude went bonkers..

Celisea..there is precedent to what I’m asking u..don’t be shy! :lol:

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
11:46 am

Go get a reuben (lol)…that’s my throwback when I don’t know what I want. Today, I want Habachi, but will be eating a salad.

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
11:47 am

Only Ex will make a post on cooties out of a person being saved! Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!

Willie Dynamite

January 9th, 2012
11:49 am

Morning All,

On Topic – No.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
11:55 am

Leggs – Awwww, mayne some Habachi sounds fantastic but I know i’m not getting that today. Darn it…might settle for a Cobb salad

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
11:56 am

MMeello – I said I was working and I am. I should have never peeked back over but since I did:

Some are saved and some are not. My Sunday School Teacher (we have adult classes) is sooooo fine. I ain’t gon lie. I have had a wicked thought…or two. When I talk about a brother with thick thighs…mmm mmm mmm…ding ding ding…he fits the mold. He is 36 and married. We have a VERY open class with VERY open dialog and sometimes he talks of his stuggles. He’s very comical and very open. Sometimes he’ll say (for the perpetrating brothers in the class), I love women….always have but I’m saved first and married next. He says I see the women and they make sure you see them but the spirit within rebukes or sends me another way. Then he says even if I entertain the thought for a second, I think about my wife and the hurt it would cause her so, I keep right on with my journey. For some reason though he always catches my eye and says, you know you’re my sidekick and I’m looking for you to back me up (if I’m having a quiet Sunday), “what say you (on whatever we’re talking about)?” Sometimes though I’ve had to say “forgive me Lord”…for real. The mind is a wicked thing and will jump in a hot sec.

Now Mmeello, I will say this, my church don’t do the hoochies and the women doing the deacons, so forth and so on. Nope, my church is “saved” for real. It’s either you walk the walk or you move it along. None of that foolishness going on. Spirit abiding, spirit revealing, spirit ruling…not man, God’s Spirit. Not saying no mishaps but there’s a difference in coming from a way of life versus living one way in front of folks and another behind closed doors. When you see churches with drama from here to heaven and never straighten out, something ain’t right but it’s not that the power of God cannot correct.

Okay, that’s probably too much for some but it’s truth. MMeello, you asked…lol Gotta run.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 9th, 2012
12:08 pm

Hope everyone had a good weekend

I did…even though it started out kinda weird. The boy toy (whom I stopped seeing last year) thought it’d be a good idea to “pop up” at my house VERY unannounced. :shock:
To make matters worse he was so crushed and hurt when I sent him the hell on his merry way…really?!?!?! Chile puhleaze….

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
12:13 pm

I am cracking up!

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
12:14 pm

The freedom people believe they have is quite comical.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 9th, 2012
12:16 pm

Comical indeed, Leggs…

Willie Dynamite

January 9th, 2012
12:17 pm

Sassy – Dayuuum, you stop seeing him last year and he just popped up. Feenin, scratching and twitching like a Jake. What you doing to em???

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
12:22 pm

Sassy – Why did you decide to stop seeing him?

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
12:22 pm

It’s her sassy disposition that has him feenin over there (lol).

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
12:34 pm

O/T: Did anyone watch the interview of Joel Osteen by Oprah last night? I missed it but will catch it when it re-airs Wednesday night…I really like listening to Joel

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
12:35 pm

She said she’s going to stop playing with toys in 2012! :wink:

Exiled!

January 9th, 2012
12:40 pm

Slim?

as long as u realize Joel ain’t a preacher,even tho he masquerades as one.

He is a motivational speaker in the E.L. mould…

There is a Big difference..

Anybody out there who talks and rarely uses scriptures to further his argument or uses the word to zero on $$$$$$ wealth creation is just appealing to folks’s weak link.

FRAUD!

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
12:43 pm

Well Ex, tell us how you really feel…what kind of church or place of worship do you attend?

Exiled!

January 9th, 2012
12:49 pm

United Methodist Church

no prosperity nonsense over there coz God’s prosperity is not measured in dollar terms..

These fraudesters just wanna appeal to folks weaknesses to line their back pockets coz they know We All Luv Money!

snakes I tell ya… false prophets!

Mama Bear

January 9th, 2012
12:58 pm

I just read Broadie and ladies you would’nt want him anyway because hates his mama. dayum shame.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 9th, 2012
12:58 pm

Feenin, scratching and twitching like a Jake.

Of course that came up while he tried in vain to get in my house, but when I’m done…I’m done. I don’t back track.

Why did you decide to stop seeing him?

Slim Nu I stopped seeing him for several reasons but the main one was that I wanted a more meaningful relationship and I wasn’t going to meet who I was supposed to be with if the boy toy was in his place. He was only there for one purpose and we both knew that all the while so I couldn’t understand why he acted like that. He did everything short of laying on the ground and having a tantrum.. We weren’t supposed to catch feelings so I made sure I didn’t…can’t say the same about him but it ain’t my fault.

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
1:00 pm

Wow! Alrighty then. I know it can be hard to give up that endless supply of Vitamin D. :lol:

Willie Dynamite

January 9th, 2012
1:07 pm

Sassy – 100% your fault. A man can’t just go dry turkey off good puddy. You have to ween him off. Very irresponsible on your part. hahaha

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 9th, 2012
1:10 pm

It was hard @ times…especially those rainy nights but I did it. That’s the loooongest time I’d ever held out but in the end I think it was worth it b/c it allowed me to see things differently. Thankfully while I was on dry dock I re-connected with Mr. Bermuda and I got what I wanted.. :lol:

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 9th, 2012
1:13 pm

You have to ween him off

You know what Willie…I had a good friend of mine to tell me the very same thing almost verbatim to your post. Really though?! We grown..but hey you live n you learn. Oh well…I’m sure he’ll be alright.

Exiled!

January 9th, 2012
1:13 pm

Vitamin D?

is ur supply upgraded now Slim?

unadulterated, pure and raw?

hope so -;)

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
1:15 pm

Willie – That’s exactly what I was thinking but it’s against the WLB rules to call each other out in that fashion unless really deemed necessary :lol:

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

January 9th, 2012
1:29 pm

Slim you ain’t right…

What’s funny is that HE was the one that kept re-iterating the fact that we weren’t s’posed to catch feelings….

All I ever did was smile n nod….as I climbed back up top…but oh well I digress…

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
1:33 pm

@SassyMe ~ that other tidbit was unnecessary…ctfu! You ain’t right.

kimmie

January 9th, 2012
1:35 pm

Sassy – And they always want to say women are bad about catching feelings!!LOL!! More times than most want to admit, dudes behave exactly like Boy Toy did.

I’m assuming errthang cool with you & Mr. Bermuda? :wink:

Willie Dynamite

January 9th, 2012
1:39 pm

Maybe buddy just wanted some closure….