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Should parents pick your mate?

Whenever I hear the words “Let me introduce you to my son”, I already know which direction the conversation will go. I hear it a lot, actually. What can I tell you? Mothers love me. I’m like the Mom Whisperer or something.

For years I have graciously declined the meet my son offers. I figured that well-meaning mothers really don’t know for sure if I am a good match for their sons. Further, how many men would actually look forward to being hooked up by their Mom?

Then I met a guy this weekend who is the son of a woman I have known for years. The fact that he is crazy handsome, successful, and charming as they come sort of changed my notion about Mother Matchmakers.

Maybe our Mothers really do know best and is it terrible to let them do a little matchmaking every know and again? Would you be open to being introduced to a potential match that your parents selected for you?

Have you ever met someone through their parents and things went really great?

On a semi-related note: I have always been fascinated by arranged marriages. A lot of cultures still practice this tradition and I would be curious to find out more information about the divorce rates among arranged marriages.

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

221 comments Add your comment

rick

January 9th, 2012
8:06 am

Lady~

January 9th, 2012
8:19 am

Morning Good People!

hmmmmm arranged marriages and mother matchmakes…………………interesting!

Exiled!

January 9th, 2012
8:31 am

If u ain’t getting it done urself then let mommy handle it

it’s a sign of mommy’s frustration

Hmmmmmpfff!

good morning…

Falcons?
just some sorry, laying up sissies!

Lady~

January 9th, 2012
8:34 am

LMBAO @ EX!!!!!! true dude!

Lady~

January 9th, 2012
8:35 am

Offense, Offense, Offense……that is all I am going to say and yeah Robinson can go too! You think Tony Dungy would coach us?!? Ok, done! Go Falcons!

Randyt (aka, I may get fired today)

January 9th, 2012
8:41 am

I will lay low today other than to say that I wouldn’t want my Mom’s opinion on much anything.

That said, now I go in to a meeting where I am about to seriously pizz off my superiors really. Oh well, I was looking for a job when I found this one.

Randyt (aka, I may get fired today)

January 9th, 2012
8:48 am

The divorce rate in arranged marriages is very low. Divorce is generally not an option and the couple work hard to MAKE it work…something totally lacking in our culture. Not totally the decisions of the parents typically that makes it work so well, but the dedication and commitment of the pair to fall in love and stay in love.

Lady~

January 9th, 2012
8:50 am

good point Randy but the culture embraces the dedication……reminds me of the cultural diversity class I took recently…..your stats is true divorce is low……..

Kym

January 9th, 2012
8:54 am

My mother is no longer with us..and while I love my daddy..I wouldn’t trust his picks on menfolks..so on this topic I have to bow out..

I would say good morning but steelernation is in mourning..one of our coaches got burned in a house fire, we lost the game cause that little taylor boy couldn’t cover..its rainy, and I just can’t find my happy at all today. Could someone mix me a texas gold rita? Better yet just give me the bottle…

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
9:05 am

Good morning all,

Um..I’ve never experienced my parents trying to hook me up with anyone & I think I like it that way. As far as other dudes parents, I’ve had some root in my favor that something really popped off with us. Hell, even my exes mother still holds onto hope that her son and I will get back together, and it’s been damn near 3+yrs since we’ve broken up. lol

No comment about the Falcon other than WACK!

disco

January 9th, 2012
9:07 am

good morning guys. parents as matchmakers. I don’t suppose anyone here is jewish? it’s been my experience that jewish mothers have it bad. personally, my parents have “good people” syndrome. so and so may have this, this and this wrong with him but basically he’s good people. that wouldn’t work for me. once I did volunteer work and one of the little old ladies that I ran errands for was constantly trying to hook me up with her son. I thought to myself – if your son was about anything you wouldn’t need a non-profit to arrange for a volunteer to get your groceries and prescriptions picked up. your son would be doing it. still, I’m not totally against it. heck, the way I see it, a hook up is a hook up. every now and again they work.

btw – who suggested I read little bee? granted my arm wasn’t twisted but this book was a HUGE let down. very disappointing in my opinion.

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
9:13 am

Speaking of let down, I would not ever recommend anyone to see that new movie Devil Inside. That’s $14 and 2hrs I can never get back.

Mr_NYC

January 9th, 2012
9:19 am

Aren’t arranged marriages more about the intended couple’s families rather than the couple?

@SlimNu – yikes $14 is that the going ticket price in the ATL? I paid $9 to see the new spy movie Tinker Tailor… don’t know what the reviewers were raving about but I fell asleep and walked out after 1hr 15 mins.

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
9:26 am

Mr. NYC – That was the price for two tickets at the matinee price i suppose. If one ticket was that much I’d probably not ever go to the movies. lol I really wonder if the ‘theater’ will ever be obsolete

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 9th, 2012
9:26 am

Fair weather Falcon fans….

Can we just agree that the Falcons need to stick to running the ball (their stated offensive philosophy)?

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
9:27 am

Morning lovelies,

Nothing on topic.

We saw MI-4….I didn’t think it was as good as MI-2 (the one I liked the best) but it was worth it :)

Nice easy breezy weekend :)

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
9:31 am

I don’t think anyone said they were giving up on the Falcons, but one can be disappointed, no?

C – That’s what I should’ve gone to see. At least I know there would be some action going on in that theater. :-(

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
9:34 am

Good morning….I don’t think I would want my mother to introduce me to anyone. First, she’s scary, secondly, ummm, NO!

@Ex ~ I watched the game and the Falcons performed more like Sparrows! Can you say weak sauce….

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
9:38 am

Slim – LOL, you’re right…I enjoyed. I’m dramatic anyway (y’all can tell huh), I was jumping and oooing and utoooing all the way through. I’m like that though when I see movies on the big screen…lol Especially when Tommy was climbing the building with nothing under him and slipped. I almost dropped my snacks…lol

Exiled!

January 9th, 2012
9:40 am

@Dan

they can’t run either,missed ‘twear’sy’ fourth downs..just lame that play caller and Matt Ryan..they need some real street swag in the offense.

Is that hard to desgn some play acting,fast and exciting stuff really..with all those fast receivers? I’m a soccer fan but I could coach that!

Now that boy Teebow got Jesus!

I heard the boy ain’t had sex yet?
They(the report) was comparing Teebow with Gene Simmons who has reportedly bedded 3,000/4,000 women.

That’s what imtalkingbout! :lol:

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
9:45 am

I almost dropped my snacks…

C – Out of your whole post, the fact that you had SNACKS is what stood out to me. You must be balling if you buy snacks from the concession stand lol I’m not afraid to bring my own, if you know what I mean. But let me tell you, the beau and I went to the movies Saturday. They had a whole new strategy by making you purchase your tickets at the concession stand, as opposed to buying them when you first walk in. We both sort of laughed about it but thought it was a clever idea. :lol:

Sal

January 9th, 2012
9:45 am

@ Kym: I feel your pain, girl. Love my Steelers but really didn’t have a lot of hope that they would win with all the injuries. Ben could hardly walk. Hampton, Pouncey, Clark etc out of the game. The tragedy with the RB coach….it’s just not their time. But they’ll be back strong as ever next season. Love those boys!!!

As for introductions by moms: I did fine on my own…but I WOULD like to fix HER up!!!

2CPTG

January 9th, 2012
9:49 am

’sup y’all….

arranged marriages? ya know, I wanna say no, but, look how it works for other countries and cultures….America as a whole needs to rethink alot of things;

Exiled, what’s up bruh?

Mama Bear

January 9th, 2012
9:58 am

Best believe mother knows best! I’m not looking for bells and whistles, I wanna know if she really loves my man-child. As a mother, I don’t want to see my son hurt.

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
9:59 am

@SlimnNu ~ my child told me over the weekend that the Devil Inside was WACK (according to her friends). We both will never know cuz we chicken….

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
10:01 am

Unreal you’re on today, 2C. Was thinking of you this morning. Hope all is well.

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
10:02 am

Leggs – If that movie was out on Red Box, I would tell you to save your $1. When the movie was over, this dude yells out, “mayne, they done fvkcd us over on that one!”

Exiled!

January 9th, 2012
10:03 am

Hey 2CPTG!!
what’s up man…

if u reading email me,I may need your help

takpat78@gmail

Kym

January 9th, 2012
10:05 am

Just because it works in India..don’t mean it will work here. Most of those other countries and culture treat women no less than they do the family pets or cattle. There is something to be said for freedom of choice be it bad or good..it is still the ability to choose.

disco

January 9th, 2012
10:09 am

sounds like there was a lot of movie watching going on this weekend. I read a book called heat on Saturday. about a Cuban family and baseball. it was pretty good. Sunday I read little bee. it wasn’t so good.

kym – I’ve read many bios re arranged marriages. most are with Chinese or Indian families. there are some great love stories there and some horrendous horror stories as well. guess at the end of the day, their arranged marriages have about the same chance as our selective marriages.

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
10:10 am

Slim – Not balling….lol That was funny though and you’re right. When I do make a weekend at the movies, it’s at Parkway Pointe and let me tell you, it was packed. The ticket window line was stretched as far as the eye could see, the 4 kiosks (for purchasing tickets) had 4 beastly lines and the concession lines? Worse! EVERY SINGLE LINE was packed. Folks was buying “supper”…lol And I know this is wrong but I was thinking “there are soooo many fat folks in line” No lie, after looking at all the big girls and boys, I scale back and resisted the popcorn with all that butter, to a box of candy and a coke. But yeah, on what you said, a person will spend a grip paying for tickets and “snacks.” For a couple, $22 for tickets and what about $15 – $20 for snacks. I just as well would prefer a nice sit down at a restaurant for that money.

Brodie

January 9th, 2012
10:11 am

My mother cheated on father with half the town, so any girl of whom my mother approves would likely be a kindred spirit.

Therefore, [EXPLETIVE] NO, I will not allow my mother to choose my mate.

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
10:14 am

scaled back

Brodie…you can say it…”hell no”

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
10:15 am

Oh, maybe you wanted to use another word….well I can’t say that one for you :)

kimmie

January 9th, 2012
10:15 am

Morning All!

I’m with you, Kym, just because it “seems” to work in other cultures doesn’t mean arranged marriage will work here. I say SEEM, because just because the divorce rate is low doesn’t necessarily mean the marriages are happy. They embrace the entire culture and concepts, so submitting to the arranged marriage means agreeing to all that goes with it, including the fact that you probably will never divorce even if you wanted to. It doesn’t mean that problems don’t exist in the marriage like infidelity or abuse, etc.

On topic – Both of my parents are gone. Thinking back, I would have probably liked whomever my parents introduced me to if they would have been inclined to do so. Especially my mom – we had similiar taste. She would have picked out someone spectacular for me. My dad could have introduced me to one of those up and coming interns he worked with.

Yeah, that would have worked out really well. Sorry we didn’t think about it years ago. Could have probably saved myself alot of grief. Oh well.

Robert

January 9th, 2012
10:16 am

“Would you be open to being introduced to a potential match that your parents selected for you?”

This past Christmas I was visiting my Mother who lives in Washington, DC. Since Christmas was on Sunday I went to Church (AME) with my Mother. My Mother sits on the second row in front of the pulpit in a 5,000 seat Church. We got to Church early so my Mother could meet and greet her Church friends. I noticed when I went to sit down with my Mother she had surrounded me with single females who wanted to meet one of her Son’s who is single. My Mother, bless her heart.

abc

January 9th, 2012
10:18 am

Until 90-100 years ago, marriages by choice of the bride and groom and based on love didn’t happen much in this country. It was either an arrangement or circumstantial requirement. Marriage in those days was taken more seriously than today, and of course, women’s rights, while a hot topic, were not a factor in women’s favor.

Movies: War Horse is pretty good. Long, though. Devil Inside is a definite wait-for-netflix. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a maybe — I saw the original Dutch film of that, it was pretty good — but probably will wait for Netflix on that one, too. War Horse was worth seeing in a theater.

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
10:18 am

Well, I’m the one who sneaks food in. I have a special bag with a flap that gets past moive security. Heck, I’ve brought my own wine cooler a time or two.

2CPTG

January 9th, 2012
10:19 am

Hey Leggs….Exiled, emailing you now…

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
10:20 am

@Robert ~ did you test the waters, meaning were there any prospects in that sea of single women?

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
10:20 am

Hey 2C. I have on the blouse today (that’s why I thought of you)…too funny you pop on today.

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
10:21 am

I’m waiting for Mark Wahlberg’s movie that’s scheduled to be released on the 13th.

Leggs

January 9th, 2012
10:22 am

Thanks, abc, I so want to see War Horse.

SlimNu

January 9th, 2012
10:22 am

C – Yeah I was kidding about being a baller but damn, you can spend a grip at the movies these days. Then every movie is now 3D which adds another $3 to the tab. :roll:

Leggs – We are (wine coolers or beer) ;-)

2CPTG

January 9th, 2012
10:23 am

Leggs……per our last convo, that ain’t the one I wanna see!!!!! ;)

kimmie

January 9th, 2012
10:23 am

Leggs – I have snuck in subs, burgers & fries and Cheesecake Factory desserts, on top of regular movie fare like candy, nuts & popcorn. The only thing I would by would be drinks. I love those Icees.

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
10:23 am

Now, when my kid was smaller and I did the Disney on Ice type shows, it was nothing for me to sneak a couple of pieces of Popeye’s chicken, sodas, snack cakes, the whole nine. For one thing, I didn’t like getting up and the next thing, if I gotta spend “money” at the concession stand, I’d much rather be sitting in a restaurant.

disco

January 9th, 2012
10:26 am

celisea – too funny you were taking in popeye’s. I have a cousin and I still to this day tease her about taking KFC in the movies. I mean I’m all for sneaking in snacks but whole boxes of chicken (she has 4 kids). my cousin, though, was like whatever. said it’s bad enough she bought 5 movie tickets.

Celisea

January 9th, 2012
10:26 am

I did rent Cowboys and Aliens yesterday and Columbiana (again). The jury is still out on the first one, I enjoyed Columbiana again.

Tebow > Ryan

January 9th, 2012
10:27 am

My mother is a senior citizen so obviously I’m not going to trust her to pick a date for me. Don’t want to end up with someone old, ugly, and fat.