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Elaborate date thing of the past?

My friend Chris was lamenting about the return of the reality show The Bachelor. He is convinced that single women watch that show to live vicariously through the women who get to experience those lavish, over the top, not gonna happen in real life – dates. He says that men don’t do that anymore! Are elaborate dates really something considered old school?

I suppose our definition of elaborate may have changed as well. It doesn’t mean single people aren’t putting any effort into cooking up elaborate and wildly romantic dates. I think they are – it’s just more practical (economy!), more thoughtful, and possibly less opulent.

Guys, do you think that women expect too much elaborateness on dates? Would you ever set up an “elaborate” date with someone you really liked?

What do you consider elaborate?

What is the most elaborate date you have been on?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta, Dating Blog

Happy Friday!

459 comments Add your comment

czBrat

January 6th, 2012
12:06 pm

disco, i left jewelry on his nightstand (about 2 yrs into the relationship). he said, ‘if you were any other woman i’d think you did that on purpose’. lol

if my territory isn’t marked on the inside, leaving signs that ‘the brat was here’ don’t mean much.

honestly, i think i could use a mild injection of jealousy or possessive nature or something. or maybe i just need to take something that will tone down my confidence. just a tad. *shrugs*

Celisea

January 6th, 2012
12:06 pm

I got a few minutes…

Off current topic sort of…What’s up with the chick’s on Bert’s show? What’s up with chicks “showing up” after they’ve been dumped or “wondering how to approach” their man after finding a risque picture of a wife of a friend?” There are many many more stories but ummm what are they thinking? You’re gonna show up after getting dumped?? Who does that? That’s gonna accomplish what? Oh all the while saying “I trust him so I know it’s not another.” First of all I’m not gonna waste my dime or time chasing down something done. But hey….

disco

January 6th, 2012
12:07 pm

leggs – I wondered because I know a few “very grown” women that are still doing it. to them it’s not about insecurity so much as it’s about “blocking”.

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
12:09 pm

Someone close to me stated they think they need counseling because they just don’t believe they have been happy for a while…and for some reason associate being happy to mean having a guy in her life. She’s really been down lately and I don’t know what to tell her. I try but maybe coming from a stranger will be more effective

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
12:11 pm

The difference between how women think and how guys think, we are attracted to each other with different sets of thoughts and virtues. Literally wer’re Clash Of The Titans.

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
12:11 pm

What are they blocking? If you have to block, he’s not your mate! If he was into you only you, he would block himself.

@Celisea ~ for the dude that had the picture of his friend’s wife on his phone, he was all the way wrong and no words in the English language can help him get out of that!

czBrat

January 6th, 2012
12:12 pm

bf, please elaborate.

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
12:12 pm

@SlimNu ~ I was in a funk yesterday (but I had two issues I had to deal with). Normally, I’m cool. Tell your friend to hit me up. We can talk (lol). I’ll have her laughing in no time.

Celisea

January 6th, 2012
12:14 pm

Leggs – Yeah, it seems all of them (radio hosts) wanted to slap her for how “considerate” she was of his feelings and how she should approach. They were like, just ask him…straight out. Funny thing is she “stumbled” up on it.

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
12:18 pm

Is “stumble” another word for “nosey?”

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
12:18 pm

Leggs – I told her to pay me to listen because i shole could use some extra cheese lol

Too bad I missed that part of the Bert Show. I came in when Jeff was talking about doing a triathalon

Because I’m at the beau’s spot often, there are things of mine over there. But it’s not because I’m trying to block or claim any territory.

Randyt (try to never get tarred with another's brush)

January 6th, 2012
12:18 pm

In fairness, if it is not okay for men to generalize about women, then this has to apply to women also. So for the record, the most common male generalization is…

1) all men are lying cheating conniving azzholes…no, some are, but many/most are not.
2) if you complain that every guy is number 1, is the problem the men, or is it your choices?

There are too many generalizations by both genders. The answer to one’s problems lies within oneself to Man/Woman Up and fix yourself.

(Having said that about generalizing, I have to confess I am still tempted to comment about female stability, lol…now ducking to avoid that wildazz tangerine thrower ;-)

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
12:20 pm

Leggs – Depends on what way ’stumble’ came about. Now if you happen to ’stumble’ upon some old love letters hidden up in his attic or in the back of his workout clothes drawer, then yo azz was really being nosey/snoopin. lol

Into the Light

January 6th, 2012
12:22 pm

(ITL throwing a grapefruit at Randy’s head and running under the stairs)

Leggs, tell Randy if he keeps talking that way, next time it will be a cantaloupe! :lol:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
12:22 pm

CZ:

Women like stated today do things to protect themselves and that’s a good thing, while guys unbeknown to us have we’ve been processed through and don’t have a clue. We feel we have a chance to get gold, and y’all already know the gold mine been closed before we make the first dig.

Randyt (try to never get tarred with another's brush)

January 6th, 2012
12:23 pm

I have to confess, I never thought about “marking one’s territory” until the ladies brought up the topic today. I’ve had to explain some things before, but they were always remnants from a past relationship that got overlooked. As far as a woman marking her territory at my house, if she is there by invitation, it IS her territory.

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
12:23 pm

@SlimNu ~ a person in a committed relationship with another is not “blocking” by leaving things.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 6th, 2012
12:25 pm

@Cel

Jeff’s “crazy voice/breath” was dead on.

Show up at my house – after hopping on a plane no less – and “closure” as nothing to do with it, in fact, I’m thinking you’re more ‘wide open’ than anything.

@Slim

There’s likely nothing you can say to her. If she’s still depending on someone else to be the key to her happiness, she either needs to grow out of it or wallow.

@Randy/Leggs

Thanks, those were some dark days. But ‘that too passed’

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
12:26 pm

For the longest time, I would make sure I got everything of mine when I left out…and strangely enough, even found myself vacuuming the whole house before heading to work in the morn lol

BF – So you guys never take any precautions when meeting or going out with a new chick?

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
12:26 pm

Maybe the attic was being cleaned up when one “stumbled” upon those letters (lol). To look at pictures on a cell phone w/o permission is being nosey. Anyway, serves the dumbcluck right. He shouldn’t have asked for it, and if he didn’t ask for it, he should have immediately either shown it to his girl, a/k/a CYA, or deleted it.

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
12:28 pm

“As far as a woman marking her territory at my house, if she is there by invitation, it IS her territory.”

Ummm, may be why you have so many dang t-shirts!!!

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
12:29 pm

Oh and men, i’m sure none of you would like to admit it, but somma yall have left stuff on purpose at a chicks house. The only thing that’s strange to me either way is, I’ve never heard of a dude ‘accidentally’ forgetting to take his drawers with him…Why is that a chick thang :lol: :shock:

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 6th, 2012
12:30 pm

@Randy

Some of these ladies are slick.

If you’re a one woman at a time kinda guy, then it doesn’t matter.

The D, on the other hand, would politely remind them that “you left this” and KIP.

Lip gloss, hair/makeup products, and the worse were draws…..yeah, someofem thank they slick.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
12:31 pm

I do agree with that RandyT. I have a friend that had to call Dekalb Police once this babe came to his door without his knowledge. He had another over and things got out of hand, we believe she was the one that keyed his car a couple of weeks later. There was no way to prove though, it wasn’t funny to him but I gaurantee I couldn’t control the laughter.

czBrat

January 6th, 2012
12:35 pm

We feel we have a chance to get gold, and y’all already know the gold mine been closed before we make the first dig.

ahhh. i see. man’s instintive urge to sow seed v. woman’s innate desire to select prime cut.
you couldn’t PAY ME to come back as a male in the next life … or the one after that. :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
12:35 pm

Keying cars, busting windshields, sugar in tank is all a waste of time and energy. Hell, it dude doesn’t want me anymore I’ll go home and lick my wounds behind closed doors. I’ll be damned if I make a fool of myself in public over any dude or catch a case for someone. And, as far as showing up somewhere uninvited in the hopes like Adele’s song says “I hope that you’ll see that for me it isn’t over” ain’t happening….

LL411

January 6th, 2012
12:36 pm

As far as a woman marking her territory at my house, if she is there by invitation, it IS her territory.

I believe this… is true when dealing with a mature person, selective about who they bring in their home/life.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
12:40 pm

Slim1 if a dude is sizing up a lady in that manner he needs to date on the other side of the fence. For me it’s a telling story from how long you have me waiting, 10 minutes we good, 45 tension starts seeping in, 1hr to 1 and half I’m done. I’ve had some make us miss the start of movies doing that, I’m a patient guy but damn I want to see the coming soon movie credits.

disco

January 6th, 2012
12:41 pm

re: marked territory etc. nice to know the blog folks really are so mature. frankly, I’m still in some circles where everybody is playing games and everybody is cool with it. there are a lot of mr. and miss right nows in our ranks.

slim – chicks don’t leave their underwear. they travel with an extra pair. Michael baisden called them “stunt drawers”.

Willie Dynamite

January 6th, 2012
12:41 pm

Dan – Sorry I had to step out. I understood your point but C’mon man we are not teenagers anymore. I will try and give my boi a peptalk and all that but not every day. But once again i did understand the point you were making, just not my M.O.

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
12:43 pm

I recall one of my homeboys told me he had a chick over and when they were done getting dressed, she was looking for her undies. So he saw a pair and was, oh here they go. Bad thing was, they weren’t hers, they actually belonged to his ‘main’ chick. Talk about awkward :shock:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
12:45 pm

Leggs I don’t understand why women or men do that either. It is senseles and nothing good can never come out of it.

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
12:45 pm

disco – Stunt drawers sort of a like a stunt double? :lol: Alrighty then hehehehehe Unless I have to jump up in a hurry for an emergency, I am very well aware that I don’t have on a piece a cothing that I came in with.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 6th, 2012
12:46 pm

@WD

No problem – on either account.

Like I said, both are needed.

Willie Dynamite

January 6th, 2012
12:48 pm

Slim – My old college roommate (real wolf) use to keep a box with earrings,hairpins, etc. When a chick would come over and he wanted to get rid of her he’d pull the box out and ask her if any of that was her stuff. At that point he would either duck or know he got a certified fun-girl on the team.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
12:50 pm

WD now that’s a slick dude, very clever.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 6th, 2012
12:50 pm

If you got a ‘main’ chick that rountinely spends the night, then her draws are going to be left – whether intentionally or in the normal course of business.

But, that also means you need to step you game up and get back to the chicks house.

I’ve know more than a few bruh’s caught up when the ‘other’ chick can tell the ‘main’ chick details about his/her/their home.

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
12:57 pm

WD – That’s just plain mean…

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
12:59 pm

So for some of you ‘recovering’ or still-practing playas, what are some of the things on your check list/routines that you do to prepare for a visit from a side-piece or even when you know main chick is coming over?

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
1:03 pm

I come back to “stunt drawers.” That’s a first for me, but makes perfect sense cuz most women aren’t walking around afterwards airing out. No one forgets their panties…

@LL411 ~ I have to agree, a mature woman wouln’t hav to mark territory at Randyt’s home and will be comfortable knowing when it’s time to leave, leave with all that you came with (unless you’re leaving with a to go plate).

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 6th, 2012
1:05 pm

@Slim

clean the house; period.

Rule 1 was side piece shouldn’t be all up and through the house – especially if she knew her place; no taking down pictures, no hiding my girls stuff in the bathroom, none of that.

Rule 2 was to make sure before the ‘main’ lady came over, the house was presentable – see rule 1 – cleaning behind the ’side’ babe should be easy.

Cats get in trouble by not letting the ’side piece’ know her role and then by not respecting the main chick. <– that leads to confusion for everyone

Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB

January 6th, 2012
1:06 pm

Happy New Year Folks…been backed up in this office all week….what’s happnennin!!!

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
1:10 pm

“Cats get in trouble by not letting the ’side piece’ know her role and then by not respecting the main chick.”

Talking about a play on words. If you respected the main chick, there be no need for a side chick…I’m calling BS on the play…

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
1:10 pm

Dan – I pictured side-piece coming over and she’s admiring your spot. “Oooh, you have a very nice place here. You want to give me a little tour to check you out?” Dan: Ah, not really…but um, you prefer Ultra-sensitive or ribbed?

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
1:11 pm

FLAG ON THE FIELD! :lol:

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 6th, 2012
1:15 pm

@Leggs

You’re right; that should’ve been the ‘main chick’s position’; thanks for the clarification.

@Slim

That assumes dude is bringing ‘dates’ back to the house (see rule 1), why? It ain’t a date, you know why you’re here (I’m too cheap for a motel), why is looking around all willy-nilly.

‘member, Dan was never a player, just a real dude trying to get it in; I never felt the need to tell a lie to anyone.

**NOTE: omission/obfuscation is clearly not the same as ‘telling a lie’

Willie Dynamite

January 6th, 2012
1:16 pm

Slim – I can’t answer from personal experience only from what I heard from a few wolves back in the day. Dan had it mostly right. Side pieces have to know there role. It shouldn’t be any loitering round the house. Said side chick has a path from the door to the room and retrace ya steps on the way out. Just what I heard and seen on the movies.

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
1:18 pm

@SlimNu ~ thoughts and statements like that are rude, disrespectful and plain old foolish.

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
1:18 pm

Even when I no longer lived with the ex, he always kept my pictures up. I had the chance to talk to one of the chicks before and I basically was like, did you not see my pics up everywhere and she blantantly said Yeah I saw em. (In my Sanford & Son voice —> You big Dummy!) Some folks just don’t care though

Sniffer!

January 6th, 2012
1:19 pm

Cats get into trouble….and then not respecting the main chic’

:lol: Respecting?

Dont worry ladies,Dan had a momentary memory loss..he thought he was talking to another playa,mentioning ‘respect’ :lol:

Carry on… : lol: