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Elaborate date thing of the past?

My friend Chris was lamenting about the return of the reality show The Bachelor. He is convinced that single women watch that show to live vicariously through the women who get to experience those lavish, over the top, not gonna happen in real life – dates. He says that men don’t do that anymore! Are elaborate dates really something considered old school?

I suppose our definition of elaborate may have changed as well. It doesn’t mean single people aren’t putting any effort into cooking up elaborate and wildly romantic dates. I think they are – it’s just more practical (economy!), more thoughtful, and possibly less opulent.

Guys, do you think that women expect too much elaborateness on dates? Would you ever set up an “elaborate” date with someone you really liked?

What do you consider elaborate?

What is the most elaborate date you have been on?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta, Dating Blog

Happy Friday!

459 comments Add your comment

Celisea

January 6th, 2012
9:17 am

Elaborate, I think are those special times and special occasions when he or she feels like doing that little something extra. If we’re going to define elaborate as bigger than normal, most know it’s not the everyday run of the mill date, hookup, get together.

OUCH ! i bumped my head

January 6th, 2012
9:17 am

Great post Leggs That show is trash TV You saw what happened with Jake and Vienna What did they last ? Maybe 6 weeeks after the show ended

Randyt (try to never get tarred with another's brush)

January 6th, 2012
9:18 am

@ Slim and ITL. When I start dating someone, more than once I mean, lol, usually that is what I do around the third date. Plan a dinner at my house, maybe Italian (maybe chicken marsala or if I want to impress, maybe pollo rose maria, with wine, soft music, and a comfortable couch to sit on and just relax and talk. I’m a good cook (for a normal guy), and am safe and respectful and this is just a natural progression to me.

Honestly, whether at my house or at the lady’s, one of my favorite things to do is a little slow dance with wine, in the kitchen, while the food is simmering. Let some other Buster lay on the couch watching TV or playing Madden 12…women are much more entertaining than any video game, and Wheel of Fortune.

Amia

January 6th, 2012
9:22 am

Slimnu- Dinner cooked for you is nice and thoughtful. I would not do it as a first or second date though.

I greatly appreciate dates that are thought out. They can be simple or the wine and dine type, but thought out goes a long way. It shows you have listened to things I like to do or would like to experience. It sounds so simple, but in 2011 I found that many of my dates lacked enough interest to “think”.

LL411

January 6th, 2012
9:24 am

SlimNu… I understand. If a guy is acting like a horndog, making sexual induendos and such upon meeting you or shortly thereafter I’d stay on neutral territory (open public places) for awhile. I think guys behaving like this would immediately assume you came to give LOL..

Randyt (try to never get tarred with another's brush)

January 6th, 2012
9:24 am

@ slimnu…not sure I am typical, but I don’t have or plan sex (or at least not in the dating stage). If it is going to hapeen, it will happen, why try to manipulate it? If the mood is right, the chemistry is there, the environment is conducive, then it will be a mutual decision. I just let it happen.

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
9:25 am

Going into the lion’s den is the thought pattern I carry. I’d rather not on the first date. However, if the vibes are good and you’re comfortable, cool. Just make sure you map your getaway strategy and you pack a gun or a sharp knife!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
9:25 am

Slim1:

Maturity at some point in a mans life has to come into play. Most men I know would genuinely welcome you over without the expectations of the drawers coming off. I will say during the earlier years 19-30 would be different due to the lack of maturity.

Lady~

January 6th, 2012
9:27 am

Honestly, whether at my house or at the lady’s, one of my favorite things to do is a little slow dance with wine, in the kitchen, while the food is simmering <<<<<<Love that! The little things! OK, Randy I get your stance too from earlier! Thanks!

Lady~

January 6th, 2012
9:27 am

LOL @ Leggs!

disco

January 6th, 2012
9:28 am

slim – home cooked meals and movies “in” are way down the road for me. I’m not into that “come over” thing right off the bat. and generally, I try to check out his spot before I allow him into mine. I am very protective of my space.

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
9:29 am

I’m with you, Randyt. Cooking at one’s home on around the 3rd date is appropriate. Not all men are horndogs (well I guess they are), but some are more reserved and can be respectful and not act a loose cannon after the first sip of wine.

Randyt (try to never get tarred with another's brush)

January 6th, 2012
9:29 am

@ Ouch, i was holed up in a Marriott for months when that sequel to the Bachelor (forget the name but there were a bunch of men and women in one house) with Jake and Vienna had to compete with each other. i watched it out of just curiosity (and the women looked good). That Vienna can be one high maintenance mean woman (looks great in a bikini though and apparently had her nose redun from the original show). She treated Jake like crap, it was painful to watch. “Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned”.

LL411

January 6th, 2012
9:30 am

I agree Blackfoote… Maturity, Maturity, Maturity. Heck, I went to a guy I’m interested in house (known a month) and while he didn’t know it… I may have went there LMAO!!!

Leggs…However, if the vibes are good and you’re comfortable, cool. Just make sure you map your getaway strategy and you pack a gun or a sharp knife!

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
9:31 am

:lol: @Leggs coming to dinner with a bullet proof vest, a army knife taped to her ankle, and a hidden .38 in her Vicky Secretions bra, and a tazer equipped cell phone

Randyt (try to never get tarred with another's brush)

January 6th, 2012
9:34 am

@ SlimNu re: Leggs apparel. hey, i think that could be a fun date ;-) Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me, LOL

Randyt (try to never get tarred with another's brush)

January 6th, 2012
9:34 am

For the record, my last comment was in jest!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
9:34 am

Entertainment is all we want on both sides, over the top is cool for those who can sustain it. Trying to ball like a rock star for a dude working 9 to 5 is just reckless.

Celisea

January 6th, 2012
9:37 am

I guess I’m a bit different from most…date 3 is too early to go to anybody’s house…mine or yours..lol We’re still finding a mutual place to meet. I’m just not trusting like that.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
9:37 am

wreckless……..did I do that

Randyt (try to never get tarred with another's brush)

January 6th, 2012
9:38 am

But Celisea, the fourth date is the road trip…ya can’t get things out of order ;-)

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
9:38 am

@SlimNu ~ I’m packing “something” somewhere. Must admit, loving the tazer equipped cell phone notion. Let me do some investigation (lol).

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
9:39 am

Randy – Wwo, a man who can cook Chicken Pollo Maria!!! That is my fav dish at Carrabba’s. Mmmmm

I will say during the earlier years 19-30 would be different due to the lack of maturity

BF – Reminds me of when I was at school. This dude had the nerve to call me at 2 in the morning asking if I wanted to come over to watch a movie. Are you effing kidding me? lol :roll:

czBrat

January 6th, 2012
9:40 am

HiYas!
already on page 2?? cool.

luvin disco’s 9:06. well said!

slim, s/o and i had our first face-to-face over homecooked b’fast at his place. he loves to cook and wanted to be well at ease when we met. no worries on my part. :)

s/o recently asked me if it would be ok to scale back on our usual outings this year so that he is better prepared to kick off a business venture. i said absolutely. i luv time on the couch, at a park, an evening in with friends, a one night trip out of town just because, etc. no need to razzle dazzle me all the dang time. told him we can stock up on groupons and push back abc getaway and xyz vacay to next year or year after. the man immediately says “oh no. we’re doing those things this year! and groupons are not usually offered to the places we like.” well. um. ok. :shock:

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
9:40 am

Date 3 could occur over a 1.5 -2 month period with a lot of talking in between.

oneofeach4me

January 6th, 2012
9:40 am

It’s TV. Nuff said.

Celisea

January 6th, 2012
9:40 am

Randyt – LOL

So I assumed by the time of the “road trip” we’ve consummated and marriage is on the horizon? Say 4 or 5 months out? Nooooo too soon. I can do a road trip, and probably by the 4th date but that’s a day trip.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
9:44 am

LOL……@Cely

Cely on the second go round usually means more time together which translate to mutual comfort. All the giggles and giddyness makes that inner soul say he/she is alright and next thing you know you’re cuddling in the lions/wolf den. It’s good that you’re cautious, you can never know for certain about anything.

Randyt (try to never get tarred with another's brush)

January 6th, 2012
9:44 am

Last night, I was flipping the channels and came upon an old Al Pacino/Ellen Barkin movie called Sea of Love. Some gal was meeting guys in the personal ads and offing them after the date/sex. He was the detective and she was a prime suspect. Watching the tension as he was enjoying her but afraid she was going to kill him after sex was great. Turned out she was innocent, it was her ex coming in after she left and killing them. The tension on both sides as they sort of felt each other out was really well protrayed.

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
9:46 am

I’d be more leary with the road trip than dinner at his place. Driving a route only he knows (I’m directionally challenged) will have me texting landmarks to myself in my phone (lol). I want to make sure we go back the same route we went!

SlimNu

January 6th, 2012
9:47 am

Leggs – Let me know what you come up with? ;-)

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
9:48 am

Love that movie…I watched it last month. Also, one of my favorite songs.

Exiled!

January 6th, 2012
9:49 am

No,women don’t necessarily expect much but it depends on your(the man) intend.

If you want to pursue a long term and she is a steady chick,just be simple and go for the not so expensive but nice planned dates…maybe some coffee,nice convo,a stroll in the park(beach) with the moon shining,cook her some meal and watch a movie etc..

However,money is the greater deceive r on All Women!

If you just want to score early and get to her confluence,do something elaborate!

All women luv money. But have some game about it and don’t be lame(to quote Ll411’s example)-bad bad bad..

Money beds a woman quick!

Good morning folks!

Exiled!

January 6th, 2012
9:50 am

Great deceiver! Damn it!

disco

January 6th, 2012
9:51 am

celisea – you feel me on the “stranger danger”. we will not be visiting each other’s homes anytime soon buddy boy.

brat – I feel you on stocking up on the groupons. I think I’m holding on to about 3 right now.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
9:52 am

Slim1, I remember those day of the booty calls at 2 and 3 oclock in the morning. The one’s who said come on of course got treated with less respect than the one’s who said why are you callin me I’m trying to sleep right now……..LOL

oneofeach4me

January 6th, 2012
9:52 am

Oh, and I forgot to add that, if I am not mistaken, NONE of the relationships from the Bachelor have been successful.

Don’t set the bar too high. Elaborate dates should be kept for special occasions. Shoot…. take me to the game and get me a beer!! ;-)

Into the Light

January 6th, 2012
9:52 am

@BF: Actually, you were correct the first time – it’s “reckless” not “wreckless”! :)

Into the Light

January 6th, 2012
9:54 am

Shoot…. take me to the game and get me a beer!!

co-sign!!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
9:56 am

Thanks Light:

Not good with grammer at all. Spelling for sure….LOL

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
9:58 am

and throw in some teriyaki chicken wings…

Celisea

January 6th, 2012
10:00 am

Blackfoote – I’m just a person of caution…period. I’m going heading off to the lion’s den and cuddling but I need to be sure of the lion…that all fangs and paws are retracted.

Celisea

January 6th, 2012
10:01 am

disco – exactly…”stranger danger”

Exiled!

January 6th, 2012
10:03 am

Cel?

u haven’t met the One u wld actually want to follow to his house yet?

Into the Light

January 6th, 2012
10:04 am

and throw in some teriyaki chicken wings…

Make ‘em lemon pepper and you might even get some sugar at the end of the night! ;)

Exiled!

January 6th, 2012
10:08 am

Christa and the fire guy broke my heart when they split.

Only one I watched

Celisea

January 6th, 2012
10:09 am

MMeello mmeello mmeello – Have I met the wild one where I wanted to follow to his house?

Do I want to humor you today? Why the hell not? Ummm yeah, I’ve tango’d with a couple of “wild ones”…at their den…lol

Have I been interested in following yet another potentially “wild one?” Yeah. However, if the “wild” fizzles out on me, I’m turning around and going home…lol

Leggs

January 6th, 2012
10:10 am

I had some lemon pepper wings and a beer with BF and nearly choked on that lemon pepper seasoning. Ranch wings are so much tastier, but the only place I know that sells them is W.K.Wings. Wait Walmart and Kroger are getting into the market, but they aren’t nearly as good.

czBrat

January 6th, 2012
10:10 am

I’m going heading off to the lion’s den and cuddling but I need to be sure of the lion…that all fangs and paws are retracted.
this is cracking me up coz i read it and picture the lion tatt on his arm. i’ve always been a bit on the naive side. our first date was at his house. first road trip was in our third month dating.
God looks after fools and children. :grin:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 6th, 2012
10:10 am

LOL…..@Cely

I like that……paws and fangs retracted