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A year without sex?

I was watching a CNN report about a DJ in Canada that decided to abstain from sex for all of 2011. He survived and lived to tell! When I asked a few of my guy friends if they could go that long without, a lot of them said they could, they have, and they are doing so now. Shocking, isn’t it?

What if single people purposely took a year off from sex? Do you think the quality of our dating experiences would change? Could we even manage land a date?

When we take sex out of the equation, would our relationships stand a better chance of survival?

How much clarity do you think it could bring?

It’s only the third day of the year, maybe some of you will spend the next 362 days in a self-induced dry season? What do you think?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

272 comments Add your comment

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
7:12 am

Ok, I can tell with a question like this we are going to have a lot of women haters. I am not a woman hater, I am not hurt, I am not trying to sway things toward guys at all. So lets get that out of the way.

On Dating: Ok “MOST” guys have real trouble even getting a date, women are very selective, and tend to select the same guys over and over and over again. Even if a relationship has failed miserably, they still go back, to the same guys that hurt them time and again. They want to believe they have changed, I am sorry ladies guys don’t change.

On sex: Guys are horn dogs by our god given nature, we will take what we can get most of the time, but as for the mentioned statement above, if the men that are not getting dates or having sex at all find a women, just about any woman, they will settle for less. Women when it comes to sex are a hundred times more likely to find what they are looking for if they are only looking to get laid. Yes, I did not stutter, 100 times more likely, all women have to be is willing, most of the time it doesn’t even matter what you look like as long as you are ready to give it up. So the phrase “in a rut” for women and sex is very uncommon, where as for most men, it is the norm.

How much clarity do you think it could bring?: None, it will bring blue balls for any guy unfortunate to end up with a woman that won’t give it up for a year. Same goes for women that are with a guy that won’t give up the high hard one.

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
8:39 am

Please forgive the bad spelling

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
8:50 am

Good morning and Happy New Year!

Truth

January 3rd, 2012
8:52 am

Dude hit it on the head. Men have to really work the charm, finances, approach, timing and all of the other buttons. Women just have to be willing. Most dates, a man is wondering if “this could be the night”. The woman already knows. Women don’t have “no sex ruts”. Women have “being too choosy ruts”. Women’s prospects in the carnal agenda are pretty much limitless seven days a week. Men’s prospects must go through the Theory of Relativity.

Truth

January 3rd, 2012
8:53 am

And NOPE, I do not plan on giving up sex for 2012. If it happens, it isn’t because I planned it that way.

Tired Out

January 3rd, 2012
9:13 am

Dude, well said. Sadly, I’ve been one of those guys who has the lady friends tell him “I wish I could find a guy like you,” but they keep going back to the same D-Bags who treat them like crap day in, day out.
I’ve tried for a long time to figure that one out, why seemingly good, decent men like myself are shunned while guys that look like cast memebers for Jersey Shore and treat everyone like S%#& can get any woman they want. Then it hit me. If these women are going for those guys, I probably don’t want them either.

But as for going long extended times without sex, to me it’s not a big deal. Yeah, sex is great. But I’d rather it be with someone I care about than with some one-night conquest.

disco

January 3rd, 2012
9:17 am

First off, good morning and happy new year!!! second – as to the topic – a year without sex… my very first thought upon reading it was “uggh”. this coming from me, the chick who just yesterday was thinking about needing some validation in the new year (for those of you who remember kimmie’s coined phrase).

what if single people purposely took a year off from sex? more power to them. I may not get any but it won’t be on purpose.

do you think the quality of our dating experiences would change? depends. this one could go either way based on interpretation. technically – I make the argument that dating is dating and sex is sex. the two can be completely separate and often times are.

could we manage to land a date? sure. may or may not be able to date him/her for long though.

when we take sex out of the equation, would our relationships stand a better chance of survival? depends on who you are and who you are working with. for some folks it’s a necessity and some folks can take it or leave it.

How much clarity do you think it could bring? I always think of the Seinfeld episode where George abstained and got smarter and Elaine abstained and got dumber. it might bring clarity. it might bring angst.

self induced dry season? some fraggle naggle bull. like I said before, I may not get any but it won’t be on purpose.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
9:19 am

HiYas!

Happy New Year, SlimSweetie :) Hola, Truth!

i know men who have abstained a year or more. challenging, true. but well worth it. i think it’s a great idea to learn to think things through w/o sex clouding your judgment and directing your intentions.

Men have to really work the charm, finances, approach, timing and all of the other buttons. Women just have to be willing.
:razz: :lol:

disco

January 3rd, 2012
9:22 am

truth – I like that. “too choosy” ruts. think you hit the nail on the head.

Robert

January 3rd, 2012
9:24 am

@Dude & Truth – Where are you “bamas” from – ATL?

“How much clarity do you think it could bring?”

In today’s world (internet, etc.) real men always have a strategy to take advantage of all opportunities. For example in ATL women out number men 20-to-1 and are better educated and financially secure. Men in ATL are either gay, unemployed or in prison which is a fact. I think single women in ATL should take a year off from sex. This is a very wise and smart decision. Why settle for less. I feel the fustration and pain whenever I meet someone new who are having a hard time meeting and dating a real man who will fire-up their passion and desire leading to a wonderful relationship.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
9:26 am

My question is, are the men that abstain from sex for that extended period of time, are they also not spanking the monkey either?? I would think it all boils down to bussin’ a nut right…

disco – After reading your post, I gathered in a nutshell that, “You just neva know” :lol:

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
9:31 am

it pains me to say this, because i luv my blog gents like hot cocoa on a bitter cold day, but if yous are going around thinking ‘why him, not me?’, that could explain why the ladies are drifting in the other direction. just saying, that mindset could be oozing from your pores.

slim, if there’s no relief of any sort, we’ll be hearing news reports of a lot more random violence and bar fights in the coming year.

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
9:34 am

Robert, I have no clue where you are getting your statistics from 20-1 are you effing serious?

I don’t have trouble getting a girl, but I live with 2 room mates that have tried everything from internet to buying drinks to staying out at bars until closing every night, to just about everything and have very limited success. Robert, no offense if you think that is the way things are you live in a fantasy world.

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
9:38 am

Brat, I love the ladies, I won’t have anything exclusive, like I have mentioned before, but I don’t ever say, why him and not me. If that were the case I would have much more limited success, but the “facts” I mentioned in the first post still exist regardless of how you may be taking it. This is in my humble opinion the truth. It is a blanket statement about both sexes, which I don’t particularly like to make, but as I have seen it, the statement is still truthful in nature.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
9:48 am

no worries, dude. i hadn’t read your comment when i posted, so i wasn’t “taking it” any particular way. we all comment based on our own experiences, and in every case there is some truth and some fallacy. it’s what keeps the blog interesting.

abc

January 3rd, 2012
9:50 am

The only times I’ve gone without that long were when married to my ex. I went almost 2 years once. I didn’t mind that much, though.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
9:55 am

Good morning,

Happy New Year and all that stuff.

A year off from dating? The first woman back was not happy about that decision….

Would it (abstinence) change the experience or bring clarity? That answer depends on what one thinks about sex.

If it’s merely for release, then nope, no clarity no change, just a “weight” lifted. If it’s for some deeper connection, then maybe, but even the noblest of intentions *usually* end with trying to get that release in the end.

As for the women dating the same dude over and over – that’s a truism; but what is also true is that those women weren’t for me. I changed my selection process and found the one that was/is for me.

Left the rest to their own devices/journies.

#stoplookinginotherpeoplesyardandtendtoyourown

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
9:55 am

What if single people purposely took a year off from sex? To be honest, if a single person took a year off from sexing, I would hope that’s ONLY because they’re not dating. Learn more about themselves and what they really want from a relationship.

Do you think the quality of our dating experiences would change? Probaby, because dating w/o sexing is for the woodchucks (wait, I think they’re sexing too).

Could we even manage land a date? Sure, but doubt we’ll be able to keep the date.

When we take sex out of the equation, would our relationships stand a better chance of survival? I highly doubt it unless both parties are on some emotional cleansing pilgrimage.

How much clarity do you think it could bring? No clarity. Probably at first appreciation someone isn’t trying to jump your bones, then confusion as to why they’re not even trying!!!

kimmie

January 3rd, 2012
9:56 am

Happy New Year Blog Gang!!!

Disco – A year with no “validation”?!! :lol:

I don’t have much to add of value to the topic today. But I will say that just abstaining from the act itself probably won’t do one any good if during that time they don’t do any self-reflection. Really examine what might they be doing that makes their relationships so unfulfilling that they feel they need to go on a sabatical. Think about it. If everything else with your life and relationship is going well, physical intimacy is the icing on the cake. But if you are in a relationship that’s not working or you are meeting folk with less than desirable qualities, sex or no sex probably won’t make a difference until you work out the real root of your issues.

Stop worrying about why other people choose who they choose. The bottom line is they don’t want you. That’s all you need to know. And if you see these other people choose to be with what you deem as drama – aren’t you GLAD they don’t choose you to continue their drama-filled existence?

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
9:57 am

Good Morning All,

I just can’t even begin to imagine a world where single people didn’t have sex. I mean everything around us…(music, tv..)revolves around sex. So that concept seems to far out there.
I have not tried the test of no sex in a relationship so I can’t relate at all to question number two.
I have to agree with Truth and Disco..I am not trying to go on a self-induce dry season.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
9:57 am

Oh, and lest the statement be misconstrued: the “dating the same person” is not gender specific – guys do it too.

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
9:58 am

“Stop worrying about why other people choose who they choose. The bottom line is they don’t want you. That’s all you need to know. And if you see these other people choose to be with what you deem as drama – aren’t you GLAD they don’t choose you to continue their drama-filled existence?”–kimmie

This needed to be repeated..

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
9:59 am

but what is also true is that those women weren’t for me.
and there you have it.

MsMarriedUp

January 3rd, 2012
9:59 am

I think it’s been said here already… masturbating does count as sex, which I too wonder how many abstain from that. Probably that most number would dwindle down to the one dare devil and any maybe one more you’ll never hear about.

On that note, I I firmly believe sex (and this may have been said too) is a VERY necessary ingredient to life. I don’t hear no one talking about not eating for a year…and again, I mean eating absolutely nothing.

Now most might say, oh, but that’s different because they visually see death if they don’t eat for a year. Well, let a man try not even masturbating for a whole year and check the population by the end of the year. Don’t be fooled about power of sex. It is vital to your health…mental and physical. Just try to avoid *overeating* or check the calories to keep healthy and fit, and enjoy this year!

kimmie

January 3rd, 2012
9:59 am

Hey Dan! Happy New Year! Love your post, especially the last few lines. We are thinking alike on that today!!

LL411

January 3rd, 2012
10:01 am

Well said Kimmie.

kimmie

January 3rd, 2012
10:02 am

Thanks Kym & LL!!

disco

January 3rd, 2012
10:02 am

leggs – funny. you kind of think like me. yes, the woodchucks are getting theirs and it’s messed up when you think about it that way. someone earlier said folks are comparing themselves to other folks but can you imagine “man, my neighbors dog just had puppies again. those yorkies next door be getting it in.”

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
10:03 am

Kimmie- No drama is great
Dan- Yes both sexes did it, it does take 2
Married- Masterbation does NOT count as sex!!!

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
10:04 am

Sorry but I am cracking myself up..at Ms. Married Up statement..I keep thinking about men exploding in the streets..from “the back-up”..”Whew!!! His head just popped right off!!”

disco

January 3rd, 2012
10:08 am

kym / ms. married up – the “backup” is real and while I don’t know if a person would literally die from the backup I do know that there can be some serious physical side effects to the backup.

dude – we may need to take a vote on that one. I’m on your side though. it doesn’t count.

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
10:12 am

If that is the case every single person that does it is gay, you have “sex” with someone else.

Tired Out

January 3rd, 2012
10:14 am

I’ve gotta agree with Dude. Masturbation does not count as sex. To say it does is the same as saying simplying being in a restaurant at the same time as someone else means you are on a date with that person.

oneofeach4me

January 3rd, 2012
10:22 am

I don’t think masturbation counts as sex either. Besides… if you count masturbation as sex… then what do you say about wet dreams?? The backup will release one way or another… conscious or subconsciously!

On another note Happy New Year everyone!

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
10:22 am

HNY lovelies,

On topic:

Abstaining for me has always been about me and my journey. Nothing to do with what a dude did, whether or not he was quality or even what his intentions were. What I have discovered though, during any amount of time of abstaining, weeding out the uglies is a welcomed byproduct. Some good ones may not understand as it’s not their journey but definitely the bad ones get sifted. As a result, naturally folks getting weeded out almost always changes the quality of what you’re working with.

I don’t necessily know what clarity will be provided other than what you discover about yourself and your limits. You can never ever control what another person does or even how they receive your plight to abstain. So even with the best of efforts and intentions, a person “not on the same page” will NEVER understand, thus no clarity. All they know is you ain’t giving it up.

So I agree, stop worrying about other folks and what they do or don’t do in their dating process. Stop commenting that the standards are too high if you’re not willing to raise the bar yourself. If they’re too high for you, stick with what you know. If you aren’t satisfied with what’s yielded so far, then don’t expect “better than what you’ve done or better than what you’ve dated” unless you’re willing to do different and change your process.

Change in any facet of life starts with one’s self. That’s all we can control. If you get a bad one or one where it’s not helping your change or sift in quality, you wanna do better….toss it back.

Robert

January 3rd, 2012
10:25 am

@Dude – My stats may be too low and single women could out number single men by a 25-to-1 ratio in ATL. Single men in ATL are either gay, unemployed or in prison which leaves very few choices for single women. I think single women in ATL should take a year off from sex because the risks (HIV, etc.)outweigh the rewards. This is a very wise and smart decision. Why settle for less. This is a fact not fantasy. I hope all women who read this post and understand what I am talking about.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
10:30 am

Robert – I think single women in ATL should take a year off from sex because the risks (HIV, etc.)outweigh the rewards.

Considering women would have to contract it from men, women taking a year off will make the men go in to abstinence by default. What are you saying? If a woman wants to abstain, she should do it for herself, be it risks, cleansing, healing whatever. Solely though to not contract an STD doesn’t quite make sense to me. That’s just me though. Maybe I missed something in your post.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
10:36 am

Robert, I agree with your statement, my point was (I should have gone further) is your stance is not a bad why but why gender specific? Would the risk not outweigh the reward if it’s a man?

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
10:38 am

If someone doesn’t see masturbation as a form of sex then they need to speak with a sexologist on what constitutes sex.

@disco ~ I disagree with the staunch notion of being “backed up.” Don’t get me wrong, there are some hormornal irritants but they don’t have to debilitating. It is what you make it. Everyone’s genetic makeup is not the same so some can dismiss “not getting any” a little better than the next person. I do believe this, if you continuouly harp on the fact that you’re not getting any, you are getting in your own way and causing mental angst unnecessarily so. It is what it and it doesn’t have to be a negative….

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
10:39 am

Better yet, if you don’t think masturbation is a form of sex, let’s say it’s a form of release….

oneofeach4me

January 3rd, 2012
10:41 am

@Leggs ~ I definitely see it as a form of release.. just not intercourse which is what I would consider to be sex. ;-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
10:43 am

Sex for many begins around 16 and tails off in the late 60’s or 70’s. If you’re healthy and you live long enough you have 50 or more years to enjoy it. Everybody is not participating and there are dry spells for everyone else. Abstinance is being practiced by young and old and no one has died from it, irritablility would be a side effect from lacking but not a cause to panic.

Happy New Year:

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
10:44 am

@oneofeach ~ that’s why I had to clarify. Intercourse is with another able-bodied person, whereas masturbation is between you and Mary and her five fingers! I see the difference.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
10:57 am

‘Sup Kimmie, and errbody else

It’s easier said than practiced, but I think a lot of what causes dating confusion is worrying about other people.

Sure that nice lady (guy – it’s 2012 whatever floats your boat) that *seems* to be a good match keeps dating the same [type] of guy, but hey, that’s on her. Hopefully, she’ll figure it out before the consequences get too deep – but it has nothing to do with me beyond learning that she ain’t the one for me.

Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with her – or me – she’s just not the one; and that’s okay.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
10:59 am

Someone had mentioned sex as a distraction but my point is releasing can also be a distraction…not calling masturbation sex but they both are both a means to an end. lol

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:01 am

I don’t find it shocking (as Diva commented) that there are some men abstaining. I know for certain there are quality men seeking a higher path/road and will opt to take a pass. Not everybody take the hit because it’s presented.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:03 am

Leggs of course you don’t necessarily need Mary. A guy can use his own five fingers. I’m with you, although masterbating isn’t intercourse it is a form of sex, if there’s a release something sexual happened.

Tired Out

January 3rd, 2012
11:09 am

Regarding the masturbation as sex discussion -
For those claiming that masturbation is sex, what was the consensus on “wet dreams?” Would you say that a teenager who has a wet dream has had sex?

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:10 am

Tks BF…you get my drift.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:10 am

I don’t know about anyone else, I’ve heard this quote “I’m having sex with myself” from a lot of women. I assume men have and is doing it too.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:12 am

A wet dream is something he or she is unaware they’re doing. So no, he’s not having sex. Doing something sexual is “knowing” you’re doing it. Most wet dreams occur while sleeping and without any control by the subject.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:15 am

I know for certain there are quality men seeking a higher path/road and will opt to take a pass
exactly! when you get tired of the same ol mis-steps, you should take the time to disengage and plug into yourself for awhile. hopefully rejoining the dating scene with renewed focus and a clearer sense of your true worth.

this may be a little more “out there” concept for guys, but anyone can choose that path at any time.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:15 am

Tired Out:

Sex is mental and physical, wet dreams says a person mentally see themselves masterbating or having intercourse with another person if and when they release they have had sex in their minds.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:19 am

Exactly czBrat…exactly!

Blackfoote – I’m glad you went there. I wanted to say it. Sex is mental and starts in the mind….(not to get all scriptural on ya’ll)..the good book says he that looks to lust has already committed the act.

As far as wet and wet dreams…IMO just the thought of sex or a risque conversation can get a person wet. When I think intercourse I think of two people coming to a climax. However if the mind ain’t in it the release won’t happen. So whether you release self induced or with a mate it started in the mind first.

New Bride

January 3rd, 2012
11:24 am

If you just had sex the night before and he wakes up the next morning having a wet dream, what does that mean? HELP!

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:26 am

Nothing…that he’s normal. New Bride, when I cohabitated, there could be night sessions, in the middle of the night sessions and even with all that, he would be “ready” come sunrise.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
11:28 am

Speaking of wet dreams, I just remembered I had a rather sexually charged dream last night…didn’t get to finish so does that make it a dry dream? :lol:

oneofeach4me

January 3rd, 2012
11:28 am

Okay. question. For those of you who have/are/intend to practice abstinence for a specific or uncertain amount of time… does/did it only apply to intercourse with another person or did it also include any sort of release (masturbation)?

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:29 am

It means just what your moniker indicates…NEW BRIDE!

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
11:30 am

New Bride – It means he had a wet dream lol…the beau stated he had one just the other week and I didn’t take offense to it. He may have been dreaming about yall’s last encounter and busted in his sleep ;-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:31 am

New Bride:

Assuming he didn’t bust out one during y’alls intercourse, I’d say it was a delayed reaction. That happens to men often, don’t take my word ask any physician, medical doctor it’s often due to over masterbating in his life.

New Bride

January 3rd, 2012
11:34 am

Thanks Ladies! This is going to take some getting use too. I don’t want to over re-act to things.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:34 am

oneofeach4me – Any sort of release….off limits during abstinence…for me

Robert

January 3rd, 2012
11:34 am

@Celisea – “Would the risk not outweigh the reward if it’s a man?”

Happy New Year Celisea…!!!!…In ATL men are at risk just like women. For example gay men sleeping with “down low” men who sleep with single women are a big problem in ATL as well as men who are in prison and are committing homosexual acts while in prison who return home and act like a single man spreading STD’s including HIV. Straight sinlge men in ATL are at risk and should take a year off from having sex with ATL women who may have been exposed to gay men or men in prison. I do not drink the public water in ATL. I drink bottled water. Women and men should protect yourself at all times.

disco

January 3rd, 2012
11:37 am

slim – when I have “dreams” it’s always a celebrity. I joke with my friends it’s because I haven’t run into any real sexy guys in real life recently. tyrese, Donovan mcnabb and don cheadle have all made appearances in my dreams.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:38 am

Happy New Year Robert!! – Gotcha. I would add though it really just boils down to self preservation and protection. IMO a wh@rish man that will lay with any and everything is just as bad as a woman getting into something with a man where she’s not aware he’s been exposed to sleeping with men. All of that behavior is a ticking time bomb. That’s why I can’t understand men (not all) that complain about women being selective. It’s for their safety first and then yours. Getting laid can be a death trap and just all the time with anybody that’s got a pulse really really makes me wonder about that type of mentality. I would think a clean steady quality good woman or man and the efforts it took is so well worth the work.

But I agree with you Robert but for all reasons…not just men on the DL.

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
11:39 am

Robert, you keep on going on about gays, is there something you wanna tell us?

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:40 am

Robert – And not just in the ATL…don’t know if you specified this city because this is where we are but dangerous ruthless behavior is practiced everywhere.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:41 am

@one ~ I’ll speak for myself. Mine was self induced, but I did masturbate a little in the beginning but I got to a point where I’d rather not masturbate and packed up my rabbit. My body became accustomed to not being aroused, rather, I didn’t put myself in positions where I would be aroused. When I did find that I may touch myself, the thought provoked too much work and I opted not to do anything. That’s just me…

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:42 am

Ummm, meant to take off the “I’ll speak for myself part”….dumb start.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:43 am

Oneof:

This is only me, I belive you can be abstinant and still masterbate. Abstinance applies to intercourse with another person, masterbating is a form of sex you give to yourself.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:43 am

one, periods of abstinence, for me, have meant abstinence from intercourse with another. i won’t completely deprive myself of every yum-yum feeling. :wink: standard practice for me is to NOT be sexually active if i’m not in a relationship. i think the longest was probably about a year and a half; just after my divorce.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:46 am

well, “during” my divorce would be more accurate. i didn’t wait long after the gavel landed.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:49 am

LOL…..@CZ

Hey it don’t take no time to get back at it when you’re ready.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:50 am

Not that I haven’t done self induced but for me I like the release with another person. Self induced is just a quick feeling and not “fulfilling”…for me. I like the whole of it. I like all that I get and feel from another person. With sex, I have to feel fulfilled. But that’s just me. Some just need to release. Can’t knock ‘em. Don’t get me wrong….I LOVE THE RELEASE (lol), but I like the whole of it with a man :)

oneofeach4me

January 3rd, 2012
11:50 am

So it depends on the person then. Gotcha.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:51 am

So I’m okay going through (when I’m abstaining) with nothing. It ain’t always easy because the mental can be a beast but it’s easy for me to overcome because IMO, of how I view the whole thing.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:52 am

Self induced is just a quick feeling and not “fulfilling”…
but since i’ve never really mastered counting sheep ……

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:53 am

Exactly, Celisea. It’s the connection that makes the release worthwhile, otherwise it can be a fulfilling as burnt toast. Puts you to sleep but still leaves you wishful….

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:53 am

czBrat – LOL…I ain’t knocking…I’ve done it :) Just not a standard practice during abstinence.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:53 am

Yep Leggs, you got it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:55 am

LOL…..@The Ladies

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:56 am

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:58 am

LOL……CZ you’re right counting sheep won’t get it done.

Cely: It’s definately mind over matter……..LOL

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:58 am

Off topic:

I still have a bag of chocolaaaaates :) I did good. I haven’t even opened. I left it here :)

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:59 am

Sho you’re right Blackfoote, sho you’re right

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
12:08 pm

disco – Umm..Don Cheadle is definitely an interesting pick :lol:

Leggs – Regarding your 11:41, that feeling or urge does sort of go away after a while. I took a break for a while but didn’t put any set time frame on it and at first it was hard because I guess the natural reaction desire more the very thing you say you AREN’T going to do. something

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
12:09 pm

Dang I missed the whole convo….

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
12:16 pm

@SlimNu ~ you then find yourself wondering if something is wrong with you because the urges are no longer there. It takes a while to completely submerge them, but it definitely can be done.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
12:20 pm

BTW, yesterday it was posted that we should stay on topic and not post personal stories or experiences here. But, isn’t an MIA a personal experience followed by that person’s story if they care to share it? Did anyone else catch that??

disco

January 3rd, 2012
12:32 pm

slim – actually don cheadle wasn’t the one that surprised me. Donovan mcnabb surprised me. I woke up like “where did he come from?”

kym – yeah. you lagging behind just a little bit.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
12:35 pm

1. was that wise diva’s request? if not, the person that posted it should be dealt with for not staying on topic.

2. when you restict the convo to the topic, you get a day with four posts.

3. that is all.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
12:36 pm

Leggs no I didn’t, and it wouldn’t have mattered. MIA is a story line most of us share to engage opinions and experiences from other people.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
12:38 pm

Wow, I didn’t chime in here yesterday…Who posted that suggestion Leggs? Wise? Troll? Regular?

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
12:40 pm

disco – Well I was going to speak on Mr. Mcnabb as well but figured I wanted to start the year off right :lol: He just looks a bit goofy to me. Now Tyrese, that right there is nuttin but butta :oops:

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
12:44 pm

I saw a dude so fine yesterday….whew Lawd have murcy….mmm mmm mmm. You are fine when I can tell through your jeans that you have nicely toned thick thighs….mmm mmm mmm. Not too big, buffed and burley either.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
12:45 pm

Can’t seem to post ?????

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
12:46 pm

celisea, i see your eyes twinkling.

disco

January 3rd, 2012
12:47 pm

slim – go ahead and clown. it’s all good.

celisea – now that’s what I’m talking about.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
12:47 pm

Wasn’t WD’s request. First post of the day yesterday. There are only 5 posts.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
12:49 pm

czBrat/disco – That’s how I like ‘em. Juuuuust right. Not too big not too thin. Of course I don’t know if his wife (I’m assuming) was watching from afar because when he stepped closed to me (I was in a clothing store) and I looked him over, she came from out of nowhere and grabbed him…lol

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
12:51 pm

czBrat – Ting!! (that was the twinkle in my eye…lol)

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
12:53 pm

ahhhh. gotta luv it when your mere presence/interest causes another chick to break out in a cold sweat.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
12:54 pm

czBrat – LOL He wasn’t wearing a ring. She showed me hers though..lol Gotta admit, she was a looker too. They actually looked nice together.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
1:03 pm

Submerging sexual urges….

Couldn’t do it….

does.not.compute.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
1:05 pm

Submerging sexual urges….

Couldn’t do it….ummmm, what if you had no one to do it with, would you just go out and get with any heifer???

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
1:09 pm

@Celisea ~ that posts of her showing you her ring reminded me of Raqi and her husband at the gas station and the woman constantly flipping her hair. It took of of Raqi’s will not be bust her upside her head (lol).

OUCH ! i bumped my head

January 3rd, 2012
1:09 pm

If the lord didn’t mean for you to touch it he would not have placed in in reach

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
1:11 pm

disco – I really can’t clown because the last dream like that I had included some old dude in overalls and dirty nails giving me the bidness. :shock: On top of that, he wouldn’t let me leave on my own free will

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
1:13 pm

celisea, that sort of thing is always hilarious to me. when i come across such shenanigans i just step a little further away so she don’t fall on my head when she gets shot down.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
1:13 pm

How many arrests have you had OUCH, or doors slammed in your face????

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
1:15 pm

That’s funny Celisea…during the day I have to speak with a lot of dealers. You can always tell when you call a location if there is or has been trouble in paradise. The female will be like, this is his WIFE. How may I help you? :lol: I wanna say sometimes, cool off there tanto. Nobody is calling to get witcho man. :roll:

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
1:15 pm

Leggs – I understood her “marking” her territory. She didn’t have to do that though because I’m not one of those women that will roll up on a man. If I have the greenlight from him I’ll take the opening or I’ll give one if he seems like he might be receiptive but other than that, it’s not my style running up on a dude. She’en have to worry about that at all from me. I was just merely admiring his nicely chisled body…lol I wasn’t trying to go home or take him home with me. We were only in passing.

LOL at Ouch…guess that’s one way one can look at it :)

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
1:17 pm

Slim – I wanna say sometimes, cool off there tanto. Nobody is calling to get witcho man.

Exactly…it’s sooo not that deep. Even though according to Robert, there’s a severe shortage in men…lol

Ut oh, I though OUCH was talking about touching your yummy..

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
1:18 pm

Me too czBrat, never gotta worry about me. I’ll run the other way on my own.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
1:21 pm

@Celisea ~ but she didn’t know any of that about you. All she saw was another attractive woman scoping out her man (lolol).

Exiled!

January 3rd, 2012
1:22 pm

BAM……………….EXILED, BREAKING THE GLASS DOOR!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On topic:

A year without sex is like saying a year without breathing,sweating or taking a dump!

Sex is a natural oocurrence and if u dont do it,u balls start hurting and u still have to nutt, woman or no woman.

Why self inflict urself with ALL that and suffer the humiliation of masturbation when u can easily unload that rich and oozing goodness on a female? :lol:

Help me Understand Jesus!!!

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
1:25 pm

Yep Leggs, she was saying “move over” lol

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
1:27 pm

:shock: Here we go…

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
1:33 pm

@Leggs

One, someone that is comfortable enough with their sexual desires to explore them need not be a “heifer” or any other derogatory term;

Two, in my experience, there are plenty of women that explore those desires and fantasies when they understand that they’re not being judged – at least by me;

Lastly, while I am aware that there are people who portend to sit in judgement of others decisions, I know (and am attracted to) people that choose to live this life developing and refining their own personal philosophies about religion, sex, culture, etc.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
1:33 pm

being secure in oneself and one’s relationship is a beautiful thing. remembering not to take it for granted, though, that’s the kicker.

s/o had the biggest grin on his face one day as we were riding down the highway. i asked him whassup? he said “we just passed ‘your type’ guy driving a nice car and you didn’t even notice”. yeah. that is whassup! :)

perfect weather for wendy’s chilli and baked potato. oh how i wish they delivered.
later!

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
1:46 pm

@Dan ~ I was joking using that word. I realize we are grown and can do what we please. However, anyone who repeatedly satisfies their urges with people they don’t know and don’t care to get to know better definitely has issues. To seek the satisfaction of an urge without ever wanting/desiring the connection of another is a hurt person.

Any person who lacks self-control is a very dangerous person.

Exiled!

January 3rd, 2012
1:50 pm

what if its two people who mutually desire to satisfy the urge but nothing more after that, and nothing less?

there are a 1,000 + ways to skin a cat…..

dont fight the feeling…

gone,to watch a mouth watering english soccer tie

have a nice day folks

Purple

January 3rd, 2012
1:51 pm

Clairty comes by thinking before you act and not trying to hump everything moving.

Missionary position in silence

January 3rd, 2012
1:53 pm

Serious question for ladies, how would you keep your man if you didn’t have a vagina?

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
1:55 pm

@Purple

A query: have you learned more lessons in life via success or failure?

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
1:57 pm

That’s my point Purple! Even with two consenting adults.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
1:57 pm

How would you keep your woman if you didn’t have a big slong???

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
1:58 pm

Those two parts are not what’s keeping a relationship together.

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
1:58 pm

Mission, what the hell kinda question is that, that is kinda like saying how would you eat if you didn’t have a mouth. I am just coming back, and wow, is all I can say for a question like that.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
1:59 pm

@Purple

And I ask becuase for me, clarity has come (usually) as a result of making a miscalculation about a potential outcome – a mistaken judgement – and learning from those mistakes.

I take your point about ‘clarity’, but you’re speaking of clarity of purpose, even the most rational decision may not turn out like you plan.

#NBF, just offering an opinion

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
2:00 pm

@Leggs

Though, how would you know that you don’t like fried chicken – if you’ve never tried it? Isallimsayin

Missionary position in silence

January 3rd, 2012
2:04 pm

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
1:58 pm

Mission, what the hell kinda question is that, that is kinda like saying how would you eat if you didn’t have a mouth. I am just coming back, and wow, is all I can say for a question like that.

A serious one.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:06 pm

Again, Dan. I’m talking about doing it ALL THE TIME. Not once in a while throwing caution to the wind. But to do it all the time just to satisfy an urge is irreponsible, no matter how you slice it.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:06 pm

irresponsible…

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:11 pm

Missionary Person – If I may, what’s the point in asking your question? What are your thoughts on how a man should be pleased by a woman without a vagina?

I’m just wondering where you’re going or trying to go with this one. I would think though since we all have one (I’m assuming we all do), we really can’t seriously answer that question. Just trying to see if it’s afternoon banter or what.

disco

January 3rd, 2012
2:11 pm

Mission – have you ever seen misery? I kid, I kid.

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
2:12 pm

Uhh I know I am late again to the convo..but uhh are there men out there who date women(real) without vaginas? I mean is there a market for this?

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:12 pm

Dan – I know you’re having dialog with Leggs but in all seriousness (and I might sound naive), I really really really don’t want to be with a man that’s had tons and tons and tons of women. Just sexing everywhere and anything. I just don’t. No matter how many condums and protectin I just don’t. I think that’s reckless behavior.

kimmie

January 3rd, 2012
2:13 pm

I’ve learned a lot from mistakes, but I’m not discounting what I’ve learned by success by any stretch of the imagination! It’s very rewarding and less stressful to reach a goal thru good decision-making and patience versus having to learn the hard way.

Missionary position in silence

January 3rd, 2012
2:13 pm

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:11 pm

Missionary Person – If I may, what’s the point in asking your question? What are your thoughts on how a man should be pleased by a woman without a vagina?

I’m just wondering where you’re going or trying to go with this one. I would think though since we all have one (I’m assuming we all do), we really can’t seriously answer that question. Just trying to see if it’s afternoon banter or what.

No, I really want to know how you’d keep your man around if you woke up tomorrow and didn’t have one. What would be your strategy?

Missionary position in silence

January 3rd, 2012
2:14 pm

disco

January 3rd, 2012
2:11 pm

Mission – have you ever seen misery? I kid, I kid.

I’ll admit I laughed a little

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:20 pm

@Celisea ~ again, my point…makes no sense to me to be sexing all willy nilly because you can. There’s a lot in life we can do just because we can, but who we give our bodies to should be top on the list. We’re grown men and women, not young horndogs anymore who don’t know what the hell they’re doing and the repercussions that our actions may yield. If you don’t think a person should mull over their actions, I understand….

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
2:20 pm

post hoc ergo propter hoc

Effect (irresponsible) is not the same as causality (satisfying the urge repeatedly and/or with multiple partners).

That something turns out to be irresponsible (again, by who’s definition), does not make the act itself responsible. Thus, someone could satisfy those urges and not be irresponsible.

Again, NBF, just pointing out the flaw in the logic.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
2:21 pm

pardon, should have been “cum hoc ergo…”

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:22 pm

Missionary – If I woke up tomorrow without one (from where I’m sitting now…cause I know I’ll have one tomorrow)…ummm here’s what I think. Understanding sexual organs were intially given for a man and woman to procreate…and that’s all, I would keep rolling with the relationship void of the onus being on me to “keep” him. God just gives that little extra of the “feel good” to keep us coming back. So I’d say I’m good with that and can live with mental stimulating to “keep” him but he would have to want to be kept I would suppose.

I do know though in addition to procreating I realize it’s also a means for man and woman to connect and become one. So again I dunno. It would depend on him and where he was mentally within our relationship.

Never though would he get the green light to have at it with another. If we’re married, the vows for better or for worse took care of that before my vagina disappeared overnight. Just like if he was terminally ill and his sickness prevented him mentally and physically from performing, I wouldn’t run out and get another. I’d hang in there and try to get by and stay mentally stimulated.

kimmie

January 3rd, 2012
2:22 pm

Mission – I think I know where you might be headed with your question and it’s actually a good one.

If all a woman has going for herself and all she brings to the relationship is her body(sex), then to wake up one day and not have that would likely be the end of the relationship. One needs to offer more than their body to sustain a successful relationship.

As for the answer, everything else that I had to attract him is what I continue to provide to keep him.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:22 pm

@Dan ~ the same way I know I don’t like chitterlings and I’ve never tried those. There are certain sensors in life that should stir a person away…my is sense of smell and often times, the way it looks.

How would you know you wouldn’t like a bucktooth, scab on smelly vagina if you’ve never had one. Going by someone elses criteria isn’t fair if you’re not trying it for yourself…..

Missionary position in silence

January 3rd, 2012
2:24 pm

The point I’m making is your vagina is your essence, your only essence.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:25 pm

@Dan, most arguments have a flaw if the person doesn’t agree.

“Thus, someone could satisfy those urges and not be irresponsible. ” – yep but to satisfy those urges all the time makes one irresponsible.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:25 pm

Not true Missionary. If you’re a man you have so much to learn about women. My essence lies between my ears. The essence between my legs is the icing.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:26 pm

So Missionary, if a woman’s vagina disappears tomorrow morning, she’s no longer a woman nor possess “essence?” What else do you want a woman for other than sex or did you just answer that with your “essense post?”

Missionary position in silence

January 3rd, 2012
2:28 pm

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:25 pm

Not true Missionary. If you’re a man you have so much to learn about women. My essence lies between my ears. The essence between my legs is the icing.

Haha yes men date you for your brain alone ahahahaha

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
2:29 pm

Our essence??? Okay now it has gotten all Metta World up in here..I liked kimmie’s explaination better..

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
2:30 pm

@Cel

Your point is well taken and respected. You can make that decision for yourself and the person (people) you choose to deal with in your life, however; my issue is applying your personal standard to others.

I, for one, ain’t ashamed to state that I’ve valuable learned lessons the hard way and via the application of a sound decision process beforehand.

I’m just amazed that people can’t seem to make that statement for themselves, and bear that fact in mind when speaking on the human condition – in this case, promiscuity.

If it’s not for you – respect; but that standard doesn’t apply to everyone.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:31 pm

Haha yes men date you for your brain alone ahahahaha

You can’t laugh at brain ALONE because that’s what you’re alluding too….our vagina ALONE is the only reason women and man are in a relationship.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:31 pm

Okay then missionary – Define essence? What does it mean then when a man hits it and quit it? What keeps a man coming back for more than just the vagina? Help me understand and distinguish. Because according to you our essence lies between our legs. What’s differentiating us? What’s the difference in a virgin and a prostitute?

Missionary position in silence

January 3rd, 2012
2:33 pm

kimmie

January 3rd, 2012
2:35 pm

I guess I’m confused then. Thought I knew where mission was going.

Leggs – I’ve always hated the “don’t knock it till you tried it” reasoning.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:36 pm

People make the world go round…..

Different Strokes for Different Folks and so on and so on and scobby dooby doo…..

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
2:37 pm

@kimmie just go with your own answer..it’s safer..any minute now someone is gonna bring out the bongo drums,start passing the “peace pipe”, and reciting bad poetry..

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:38 pm

Kimmie – I didn’t think that’s where he was going. Where he went is about where I figured he’d go. There’s more to a woman that what’s between her legs if that’s the case we’d never come up for anything else. Let folks that live by that belief have at it.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:40 pm

Always some joking trying slip going left on the women. Always some joker wanting to inflict disrespect on women.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:40 pm

@kimmie ~ As you can see, so do I….

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
2:42 pm

All this circle talking is making my head hurt…Quick, on the count of three everyone make their point in as less words as possible (One sentence if you can)….1…2….3….GO! lol

kimmie

January 3rd, 2012
2:44 pm

Kym – :lol:

Celisea – guess I should have known. I was thinking too much like right.

Leggs – Yep!

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:46 pm

Here’s my point….someone needs to be hogtied and sat near some quicksand….

disco

January 3rd, 2012
2:47 pm

slim – or better yet, feel free to change the topic. how are the resolutions going three days in?

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:47 pm

Exactly Kimmie…think too much like right is what normal people do when answering questions or having dialog.

Missionary is just some joker trying incite dissension and disrespect.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:47 pm

with their slong hanging out so we can determine his true essence.

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
2:48 pm

@Leggs..uh why are we hogtying folks..did I miss bondage convo or something?

@disco..I don’t make resolutions..I figured I am a constant work in progress..so what’s the point..

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:49 pm

I’ve made one resolution….the same as last years…be me!

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:49 pm

@Kym ~ because Missionary think we’re dumb.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
2:51 pm

No resolution here…

Next topic?

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
2:53 pm

@Leggs..Ohhh well there are better ways to torture folks..I always think tying someone covered in honey to a fireant hill would work. And not one of those whimpy hills..one of those giant hills like in the jungles of the amazon.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
2:53 pm

I haven’t made any resolutions…Started my gratitude journal about two weeks ago. That’s about it…keep striving to be better, continue growing & learning. My NYE was pretty low key…watched the celebrations on tv with a little drinky drink. Seems like many folks stayed in this year.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
2:54 pm

Where were you guys when the peach dropped????

disco

January 3rd, 2012
2:55 pm

dag. and here I am all excited about my resolution. 2011 was my first time making a resolution (eliminate all one sided relationships) and that worked out so well that I’m giving it a go again. this year’s resolution is all about travel and socializing so I’m looking forward to it.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
3:03 pm

All in all, just hope to get closer, if not able to actually discover, what my purpose is while i’m here.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:04 pm

Cold enough for boots today. Brrrrr

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:04 pm

That’s very nice, SlimNu!

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:04 pm

I usually can’t wear boots unless it’s freezing (like today) outside. Otherwise I get too hot.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
3:04 pm

@Leggs

Again, we’re talking about four different things:
- casual sex vs a person sense of morality concerning a stranger’s actions, and

- the faulty logic of false causes that leads to an incorrect conclusion vs simply disagreeing with someone.

I do disagree with your assertion that someone else’s actions could be considered irresponsible, because only that person can determine the “irresponsibilty” of those actions.

I also disagree that someone taking an action that you personally don’t agree with somehow validates your assessment of that action – whether you deem it responsible or not.

Given that you agreed earlier that “worrying about what other people do” (paraphrasing) isn’t helpful in life, I don’t understand how you can employ that view for yourself and then apply it differently to someone else’s actions.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:04 pm

I want a gray pair.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:05 pm

@Celisea ~ I was going to ask who has on their new Christmas books, but didn’t think it was topic worthy (lol).

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:06 pm

@Dan, sweetie, don’t even worry because we didn’t start out talking about the same thing. My opinion is solely owned by me.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:07 pm

Dan in all that you just said – A person don’t have to be a participant of certain actions to identify…in this case promiscuity and calling it what it is does not make it passing judgement. How ever will you teach your children if only they can call a spade a spade if only can call it that based on experience only? All things aren’t meant to be experienced by all in order to identify with what it is….your logic is flawed.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:08 pm

Leggs – If we can bring a topic to a skreeching halt because a person don’t have anything to add or we can just flip the script, you can toss anything out there if you want…lol

Into the Light

January 3rd, 2012
3:08 pm

Afternoon, honey bunnies!

I hope everyone had a safe and happy NYE.

Did y’all see Dick Clark? He makes me so sad….. :(

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:11 pm

@Celisea ~ Yep!

@PR~ if you’re lurking, was wondering the other week if you’ve put in your application for Amazing Race????

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:13 pm

@Celisea ~ remember, just because we think the person is a spade doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a spade…and if we haven’t experienced it, we can’t speak on the positive or negative. Our thoughts doesn’t make it right…..

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
3:14 pm

@disco..I am excited for you..I like your last year resolution alot!!!

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:14 pm

Leggs – LOL…okay right…I’ll remember that.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:14 pm

@ITL ~ the man is 87 years old. I thought he looked rather good considering. He has looked far worse over the years.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:15 pm

I didn’t really pay attention to Dick Clark. I was at a nice gathering, small group of grown folks but didn’t pay attention. The convo was nice, the food was good and even though I haven’t had a sip of anything in 15 years, I had a sip or two of bubble :)

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:16 pm

Point was…t.v. was on but wasn’t paying attention.

disco

January 3rd, 2012
3:19 pm

87 years old? is he still wearing his signature hairstyle? I ask because I just watched an episode of unsung the other day (the bar-kays I think) and dick clark was on there with his hair swooped up in the front.

Into the Light

January 3rd, 2012
3:19 pm

It’s not his looks, it’s his speech since he had the stroke. It makes me sad that someone once so articulate now has difficulty being understood.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:22 pm

I meant because of his stroke he looked and sounded much better NYE. In the past, he looked and sounded a helluva lot worse.

Vesta Williams was on Unsung last night…looking forward to see that episode.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:23 pm

Sometimes I can’t watch Unsung…too sad.

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
3:23 pm

I was so impressed his wife was there to kiss him at the New Year..that was so sweet. I could do with out Jenny McCarthy..

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:25 pm

Two common threads in Unsung:

(1) Didn’t manage their own money (always left in the hands of a smiling snake), and
(2) Drugs

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:26 pm

@Kym ~ I kept saying she is a pretty woman (lol).

disco

January 3rd, 2012
3:28 pm

celisea – unsung and life after can be sad but sometimes it can make you feel good (heck, the Florence ballard episode made me angry). there was a marathon the other day and I really enjoyed the ojays and miki howard.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
3:28 pm

The thing about Mr. Clark is that despite his stroke and falling condition, he still makes a point to participate in the NYE festivities which began with him. I guess his thinking is, he’ll do it for however long he is alive on this earth….even though it’s hard to watch at times. lol

Random: I think they no longer need to refer to the cookies that accompany your Chinese food as Fortune Cookies. They should be called ADVISE Cookies because they don’t tell you a fortune per say

I just opened my cookie and it reads, “Struggle as hard as you can for whatever you believe in”

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:30 pm

Aren’t you tired of doing that, Slim Nu (lol)…

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:30 pm

disco – The one on Tammi Terrell and the Debarge family, I sort of stop watching. But yeah, I know there are some success stories on there. Just hate to hear about the bad stuff.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:31 pm

I should say “after hearing about……”

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
3:31 pm

@Cel

I disagree (that my logic is flawed)

In using society’s definition as a primer – i.e. what is “blue” or “orange” – is how we each ‘begin’ to define things.

For a less abstract version, there are principles that I was taught as a youngin that informed my decision making until I started to test those prinicples for myself.

In many cases, I found that things that I was taught had foundations in reality and real principles. However, as I tested those principles for myself, I found that they didn’t always coincide with my emerging personal beliefs.

I understand why Leggs – or anyone – for that matter would call promiscuity irresponsible, I simply don’t agree with her (the) assertion. And my reasoning for not doing so lies in not just looking at the effect (read: sleeping with a number of people), but in trying to understand the cause on a case by case basis.

I’ve met more people that are promiscuous because of an early childhood trauma than I’d care to number. That these people are dismissed simply becuase of the effect of their actions and not the cause is what I find a reprehensible act.

I’m not saying that every instance of promiscuity is the result of trauma, but as my experience in life has infomred me, I’m not willing to judge someone out of hand without the facts.

Likewise, per my earlier argument, sans trauma, I still don’t take kindly to people saying that promiscuous behavior is inherently wrong just because they don’t engage in that behavior.

Either way, standing in judgement of another person – be it for dating the same type of person or sleeping with a number of differnt individuals – is an act I find offensive; and I tend to not associate with people that do so haphazardly.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:31 pm

Slimnu – LOL..that was funny

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
3:34 pm

and i meant Advice, not advise lol

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
3:35 pm

Whatever, Dan! I suppose since you are in the minority of believing there’s nothing wrong with being promiscuous, makes you right.

Also, I do understand your logic on this because you are the same man that said you would manage your daughter if she worked in a strip club! It all makes sense and everything is relative.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:37 pm

Dan – No matter how you slice it, being a certain way or doing something a certain way is no less being done or was done if your reasoning for doing is different from someone elses. It does not make you a judge to call something what it is….

Case and point – Oprah admits she was permiscuous as a result of being abused. Can only she call it that because she went through it? Or can the lifestyle be labeled as such because of how it’s defined? She’s a success and by no means am I sitting in judgement of her (who am I to do that), still she was permiscuous and admittedly so.

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
3:41 pm

Okay I have to say my new guilty reality tv pleasure is “Moonshiners” I watched the marathon last night and I am hooked!!! I know it ain’t right but I am rooting for the bootleggers to get their product to market..and the for the moonshiners to not get caught.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:42 pm

Standing in judgement of a person is measuring a person by one’s own deeds and so called goodness. Call a thief a thief, a bum a bum, a murderer a murderer…is not judging if that’s what they are or their actions indicate.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
3:42 pm

Maybe it’s a matter of disputing Promiscuity as ‘irresponsible’…Just because you sleep with a random guy/girl 4+ a week, it does not make you ‘irresponsible’ if you are strapping up every time. :lol: :???: (I guess anyway)

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:43 pm

I feel like crap today. My kid sneezed, coughed and passed her germs along and now I have it. Uggh, I almost called in sick today.

Into the Light

January 3rd, 2012
3:43 pm

@Kym: I saw an episode of Moonshiners and thought it was AWESOME! I saw the one where he’s out looking for a site for his still and the grandpa and grandma ride up on the 4-wheeler with a rifle. Too funny!

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
3:44 pm

Kym – Don’t feel bad. Over the holiday’s the beau and I have started watching “The Call of the Wild Man”….he’s a back woods sort of guy from Kentucky they call the Turtle man. He catches random wild animals usually with his bare hands but his specialty is snapping turtles. He does this loud call all the time.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
3:46 pm

disco

January 3rd, 2012
3:46 pm

dan – not to mention there’s no way to tally the number of “undercover” promiscuous folks. some folks keep a real good cover on their dirt.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 3rd, 2012
3:47 pm

@Cel per you 3:48 – I totally agree, and

as one that has/does sin, I am in no position to judge someone else; likewise, I know very few folks who (by the “judge not” standard) that can.

I take it all with a grain of salt and a dash of pepper anyway, no hypertension.

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
3:49 pm

@ITL and Slim..ohh good I am not alone.

@ITL..I watched last night where he was building a shelter for his still and his partner..was drunk and could barely help do the work. I wanted him to kick him in a ditch. But you got to give it up to those Mountain folks they crafty as hell. Dude even shot and skinned a rabbit and fried that sucker up right out there by the still.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:50 pm

Dan – Just having harmless debate that’s all. You’re are Dan the Man :)

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
3:50 pm

@Slim uh,..what does he do with the snapping turtles?

Into the Light

January 3rd, 2012
3:51 pm

Dang! I gotta catch up on my episodes. I wonder, though, what his son’s friends/teachers/classmates think about the show. AND, I wonder what mama thinks.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:51 pm

Dan – I know very few folks who (by the “judge not” standard) that can.

Me too…lol

Into the Light

January 3rd, 2012
3:52 pm

Slim: I saw that guy! He was teaching a marine how to catch turtles that were snapping at his kids, and then he caught a fox in the henhouse. That call he does is crazy!! I was LOL.

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
3:54 pm

@ITL..last night he went to visit a legit bootlegger..it would cost him 200k just to go straight and get bonded. He is doing this for his son cause he said he is about to go away to college..I found that touching..plus I am kind of like bump it..who is he hurting? the folks drinking the shine know that stuff is 190proof plus..so they know the job is dangerous up front. Like I said I am rooting for him.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:55 pm

Leggs – I just sent it back

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
3:57 pm

Kym – He catches the turtles then relocates them to safer environments

Into the Light

January 3rd, 2012
3:58 pm

Me, too, Kym! I like the scenes they cut in with the old man, Popcorn. He was a legend; I’ve seen him on other documentaries about mountain life and moonshine.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
3:59 pm

Dreams – Where are you?

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
4:03 pm

@ITL..YES!! Popcorn was on point..LOL!! He could shake the jar and know exactly what proof the moonshine was at.

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
4:03 pm

Alright let me head out..night night folks.

kimmie

January 3rd, 2012
4:03 pm

Isn’t it amazing the whole new world we are able to see now, thanks to cable and the internet?! We would probably never get to see or know much about such things like mountain life or moonshiners, animals, etc, unless we lived around these things. Now we have the information at our fingertips. Amazing!

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:07 pm

And why am I feeling all the teeny bopper songs?

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:09 pm

Still want the gray boots…if anybody happen to come across a great deal. I want maybe a 3 inch heel…don’t want anything over that.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:11 pm

Annnnnnnnnnd I have a summons for jury duty….just great

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:12 pm

Last time I went, I was paid $25 dollars…wonder if they still pay for that?? If so how much. Ain’t like you can decline unless there’s a medical or concrete reason. Hope it’s not a crazy case either.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
4:14 pm

They still pay $25.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
4:14 pm

kimmie – That’s what I was thinking

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:15 pm

Dern it Leggs – They ain’t raised that yet? I was what about 20 or so?

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:16 pm

Shoot, by the time you pay to park and get there in all the hustle and bustle of downtown that’s well worth a raise…lol

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:17 pm

I have no idea what we’re having for dinner tonight. I know one thing, I won’t be cooking :)

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
4:24 pm

My child had the fridge door opened asking if I was going to cook all the while staring at all the food I made on New Year’s Day. The question didn’t deserve an answer so I kept quiet.

disco

January 3rd, 2012
4:25 pm

jury duty… not worth much in and of itself but you at least get off from your real job and they have to pay you.

celisea – re dinner and cooking. I have had so much food in and through my house over the past weekend that I was almost happy to come back to work. at least I haven’t been eating all day long.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
4:29 pm

Just make sure to take something to read….Jury Duty is really Waiting duty in most cases. When I had to do it, my job fortunately still paid me my regular pay and I got the $25. Not bad

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
4:41 pm

First day back, and I can barely keep my eyes opened.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:47 pm

Leggs/disco – LOL I barely cooked for New Years. Wait…did I cook? I cooked Sunday I remember that.

Gotcha Slim – I’ve been going to the Library (I actually enjoy going) looking for interesting books. I like the old fashion way of reading. Not knocking Kindle or any other new devices. Just takes me a minute to get onboard with the modern stuff.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:47 pm

I wonder if I’ll have to use one of my days or if the company will pay me. When I had JD before, the company paid me.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:48 pm

Leggs – That sounds like something a kid will do….”what are we eating” will looking at a feast of food…lol

Into the Light

January 3rd, 2012
4:50 pm

LOL. I do the same thing….I’ll gaze into the frig, close the door, and walk away. A half hour or so later, I’m back again – as if something has magically appeared! smh… :lol:

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:50 pm

disco – I feel you on the eating all day thingy when home. I was home half of December and the first week, I ate everything that would be picked up and eaten right out of the the fride. Pie, cheese, leftover chicken…you name it. Chips, cookies, snacks whatever. I always eat like that though if I’m home too long. The 2nd week, I did much better

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:51 pm

And now I’m scheduled to have lunch with one of my counterparts tomorrow. It’s too early to schedule lunch with folks. I hope he’s paying….lol

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
4:54 pm

Yesterday I was sick and in bed after I took my kid to blow her money she made on her part time gig last week and I think I consumed almost a two liter diet coke in like a couple of hours. I have such a thing that I HAVE to have soda or I’m just not right. Of course diet soda but that still can’t be all that good for me drinking it like that. Then I’ll put it in the freezer to slush up….most times that’s how I drink.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
4:54 pm

I did a lot of cooking, but ate in moderation. Now, I’ll will put the roast and greens and mac n cheese in freezer for some other times. I can sit and eat a bowl of rice ad blackeyed peas anyday with smoked turkey necks as my meat any day.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
4:57 pm

C – The beau asked me about getting one for Christmas but I like the smell of the books as well as having it to carry around. I look at a computer screen all day so I don’t want to turn around and then look at some screen to read for leisure.

Into the Light

January 3rd, 2012
4:58 pm

Mmmm, I fried some pork chops the other day that were so good my tongue nearly slapped my brains out. Coated them with panko instead of flour. YUM-O!

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
4:58 pm

I put my Koolaid in the freezer to slush it up (lol)…

Purple

January 3rd, 2012
5:00 pm

Dan, I learned from others life experiences including my own. But being that my family ran a foster home no mattter how I felt I knew that kids were the outcome of sex. That was enough to keep it in my pants for the most part while I was younger. LOL As I go older I kind of just valued myself and did not spread myself to many women.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
5:00 pm

Yep Slim…that’s how I’m feeling too right now. Of course that’s subject to change.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
5:01 pm

Peace out peeps…

Into the Light

January 3rd, 2012
5:04 pm

Night, Slim. :)

Purple

January 3rd, 2012
5:09 pm

I’m all late, what’s the topic now? Or is everyone gone?

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
5:11 pm

We’re gone home

Purple

January 3rd, 2012
5:33 pm

Max

January 3rd, 2012
5:58 pm

While sex can be good and fulfilling, you do not need it to survive on this planet like you need water.

Albert

January 3rd, 2012
9:55 pm

Ummm..Leggs, intercourse isn’t necessarily with another able-bodied person.
(Just a tip from a disabled one.) ;)

Yes

January 4th, 2012
1:24 pm

If you put your mind to it. IT CAN BE DONE!

Captain America

January 4th, 2012
3:00 pm

Can you still jerk off??

been there done that...

January 4th, 2012
3:44 pm

been through happy dog phases and abstinent phases….happy dog is lots of fun, but lose a job or some other life crisis as you get older and that abstinent phase can come quick as others move on away you. At that point it starts to become more important to have that special someone for a complete relationship.