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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

A year without sex?

I was watching a CNN report about a DJ in Canada that decided to abstain from sex for all of 2011. He survived and lived to tell! When I asked a few of my guy friends if they could go that long without, a lot of them said they could, they have, and they are doing so now. Shocking, isn’t it?

What if single people purposely took a year off from sex? Do you think the quality of our dating experiences would change? Could we even manage land a date?

When we take sex out of the equation, would our relationships stand a better chance of survival?

How much clarity do you think it could bring?

It’s only the third day of the year, maybe some of you will spend the next 362 days in a self-induced dry season? What do you think?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

272 comments Add your comment

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:12 am

A wet dream is something he or she is unaware they’re doing. So no, he’s not having sex. Doing something sexual is “knowing” you’re doing it. Most wet dreams occur while sleeping and without any control by the subject.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:15 am

I know for certain there are quality men seeking a higher path/road and will opt to take a pass
exactly! when you get tired of the same ol mis-steps, you should take the time to disengage and plug into yourself for awhile. hopefully rejoining the dating scene with renewed focus and a clearer sense of your true worth.

this may be a little more “out there” concept for guys, but anyone can choose that path at any time.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:15 am

Tired Out:

Sex is mental and physical, wet dreams says a person mentally see themselves masterbating or having intercourse with another person if and when they release they have had sex in their minds.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:19 am

Exactly czBrat…exactly!

Blackfoote – I’m glad you went there. I wanted to say it. Sex is mental and starts in the mind….(not to get all scriptural on ya’ll)..the good book says he that looks to lust has already committed the act.

As far as wet and wet dreams…IMO just the thought of sex or a risque conversation can get a person wet. When I think intercourse I think of two people coming to a climax. However if the mind ain’t in it the release won’t happen. So whether you release self induced or with a mate it started in the mind first.

New Bride

January 3rd, 2012
11:24 am

If you just had sex the night before and he wakes up the next morning having a wet dream, what does that mean? HELP!

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:26 am

Nothing…that he’s normal. New Bride, when I cohabitated, there could be night sessions, in the middle of the night sessions and even with all that, he would be “ready” come sunrise.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
11:28 am

Speaking of wet dreams, I just remembered I had a rather sexually charged dream last night…didn’t get to finish so does that make it a dry dream? :lol:

oneofeach4me

January 3rd, 2012
11:28 am

Okay. question. For those of you who have/are/intend to practice abstinence for a specific or uncertain amount of time… does/did it only apply to intercourse with another person or did it also include any sort of release (masturbation)?

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:29 am

It means just what your moniker indicates…NEW BRIDE!

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
11:30 am

New Bride – It means he had a wet dream lol…the beau stated he had one just the other week and I didn’t take offense to it. He may have been dreaming about yall’s last encounter and busted in his sleep ;-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:31 am

New Bride:

Assuming he didn’t bust out one during y’alls intercourse, I’d say it was a delayed reaction. That happens to men often, don’t take my word ask any physician, medical doctor it’s often due to over masterbating in his life.

New Bride

January 3rd, 2012
11:34 am

Thanks Ladies! This is going to take some getting use too. I don’t want to over re-act to things.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:34 am

oneofeach4me – Any sort of release….off limits during abstinence…for me

Robert

January 3rd, 2012
11:34 am

@Celisea – “Would the risk not outweigh the reward if it’s a man?”

Happy New Year Celisea…!!!!…In ATL men are at risk just like women. For example gay men sleeping with “down low” men who sleep with single women are a big problem in ATL as well as men who are in prison and are committing homosexual acts while in prison who return home and act like a single man spreading STD’s including HIV. Straight sinlge men in ATL are at risk and should take a year off from having sex with ATL women who may have been exposed to gay men or men in prison. I do not drink the public water in ATL. I drink bottled water. Women and men should protect yourself at all times.

disco

January 3rd, 2012
11:37 am

slim – when I have “dreams” it’s always a celebrity. I joke with my friends it’s because I haven’t run into any real sexy guys in real life recently. tyrese, Donovan mcnabb and don cheadle have all made appearances in my dreams.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:38 am

Happy New Year Robert!! – Gotcha. I would add though it really just boils down to self preservation and protection. IMO a wh@rish man that will lay with any and everything is just as bad as a woman getting into something with a man where she’s not aware he’s been exposed to sleeping with men. All of that behavior is a ticking time bomb. That’s why I can’t understand men (not all) that complain about women being selective. It’s for their safety first and then yours. Getting laid can be a death trap and just all the time with anybody that’s got a pulse really really makes me wonder about that type of mentality. I would think a clean steady quality good woman or man and the efforts it took is so well worth the work.

But I agree with you Robert but for all reasons…not just men on the DL.

Dude

January 3rd, 2012
11:39 am

Robert, you keep on going on about gays, is there something you wanna tell us?

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:40 am

Robert – And not just in the ATL…don’t know if you specified this city because this is where we are but dangerous ruthless behavior is practiced everywhere.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:41 am

@one ~ I’ll speak for myself. Mine was self induced, but I did masturbate a little in the beginning but I got to a point where I’d rather not masturbate and packed up my rabbit. My body became accustomed to not being aroused, rather, I didn’t put myself in positions where I would be aroused. When I did find that I may touch myself, the thought provoked too much work and I opted not to do anything. That’s just me…

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:42 am

Ummm, meant to take off the “I’ll speak for myself part”….dumb start.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:43 am

Oneof:

This is only me, I belive you can be abstinant and still masterbate. Abstinance applies to intercourse with another person, masterbating is a form of sex you give to yourself.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:43 am

one, periods of abstinence, for me, have meant abstinence from intercourse with another. i won’t completely deprive myself of every yum-yum feeling. :wink: standard practice for me is to NOT be sexually active if i’m not in a relationship. i think the longest was probably about a year and a half; just after my divorce.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:46 am

well, “during” my divorce would be more accurate. i didn’t wait long after the gavel landed.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:49 am

LOL…..@CZ

Hey it don’t take no time to get back at it when you’re ready.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:50 am

Not that I haven’t done self induced but for me I like the release with another person. Self induced is just a quick feeling and not “fulfilling”…for me. I like the whole of it. I like all that I get and feel from another person. With sex, I have to feel fulfilled. But that’s just me. Some just need to release. Can’t knock ‘em. Don’t get me wrong….I LOVE THE RELEASE (lol), but I like the whole of it with a man :)

oneofeach4me

January 3rd, 2012
11:50 am

So it depends on the person then. Gotcha.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:51 am

So I’m okay going through (when I’m abstaining) with nothing. It ain’t always easy because the mental can be a beast but it’s easy for me to overcome because IMO, of how I view the whole thing.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:52 am

Self induced is just a quick feeling and not “fulfilling”…
but since i’ve never really mastered counting sheep ……

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
11:53 am

Exactly, Celisea. It’s the connection that makes the release worthwhile, otherwise it can be a fulfilling as burnt toast. Puts you to sleep but still leaves you wishful….

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:53 am

czBrat – LOL…I ain’t knocking…I’ve done it :) Just not a standard practice during abstinence.

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:53 am

Yep Leggs, you got it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:55 am

LOL…..@The Ladies

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
11:56 am

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
11:58 am

LOL……CZ you’re right counting sheep won’t get it done.

Cely: It’s definately mind over matter……..LOL

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:58 am

Off topic:

I still have a bag of chocolaaaaates :) I did good. I haven’t even opened. I left it here :)

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
11:59 am

Sho you’re right Blackfoote, sho you’re right

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
12:08 pm

disco – Umm..Don Cheadle is definitely an interesting pick :lol:

Leggs – Regarding your 11:41, that feeling or urge does sort of go away after a while. I took a break for a while but didn’t put any set time frame on it and at first it was hard because I guess the natural reaction desire more the very thing you say you AREN’T going to do. something

Kym

January 3rd, 2012
12:09 pm

Dang I missed the whole convo….

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
12:16 pm

@SlimNu ~ you then find yourself wondering if something is wrong with you because the urges are no longer there. It takes a while to completely submerge them, but it definitely can be done.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
12:20 pm

BTW, yesterday it was posted that we should stay on topic and not post personal stories or experiences here. But, isn’t an MIA a personal experience followed by that person’s story if they care to share it? Did anyone else catch that??

disco

January 3rd, 2012
12:32 pm

slim – actually don cheadle wasn’t the one that surprised me. Donovan mcnabb surprised me. I woke up like “where did he come from?”

kym – yeah. you lagging behind just a little bit.

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
12:35 pm

1. was that wise diva’s request? if not, the person that posted it should be dealt with for not staying on topic.

2. when you restict the convo to the topic, you get a day with four posts.

3. that is all.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

January 3rd, 2012
12:36 pm

Leggs no I didn’t, and it wouldn’t have mattered. MIA is a story line most of us share to engage opinions and experiences from other people.

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
12:38 pm

Wow, I didn’t chime in here yesterday…Who posted that suggestion Leggs? Wise? Troll? Regular?

SlimNu

January 3rd, 2012
12:40 pm

disco – Well I was going to speak on Mr. Mcnabb as well but figured I wanted to start the year off right :lol: He just looks a bit goofy to me. Now Tyrese, that right there is nuttin but butta :oops:

Celisea

January 3rd, 2012
12:44 pm

I saw a dude so fine yesterday….whew Lawd have murcy….mmm mmm mmm. You are fine when I can tell through your jeans that you have nicely toned thick thighs….mmm mmm mmm. Not too big, buffed and burley either.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
12:45 pm

Can’t seem to post ?????

czBrat

January 3rd, 2012
12:46 pm

celisea, i see your eyes twinkling.

disco

January 3rd, 2012
12:47 pm

slim – go ahead and clown. it’s all good.

celisea – now that’s what I’m talking about.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2012
12:47 pm

Wasn’t WD’s request. First post of the day yesterday. There are only 5 posts.