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Archive for January, 2012

A Good Wife?

I believe there are a lot of single women who think about what kind of mate they want to be. I know I have thought about it from time to time. My ideas about what I think would make a “good wife” does not always align with those of the men that I date.

Whenever the topic of marriage or “wife” duties come up, I always perk up and pay attention to what guys say. They usually have very specific things they believe a good wife should do. Always makes for an enlightening discussion!

This is probably a good discussion to have when you are serious. I think a lot of married couples are surprised when they realize how much they differ from their spouse’s expectations of a husband/wife.

What really informs a man’s idea about what makes a good wife, though? What informs a woman’s idea about what makes a good wife?

What do you think is most important?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading A Good Wife? »

Dating: Afraid to show true colors?

I have a friend who has extreme anxiety about “letting it all hang out” with her man. The lengths that she goes through to put her “together” side front and center seems a little exhausting! I am much too lazy to do all that for a guy. Why are many of us afraid to show our true colors to the person we are seeing?

Obviously, we all date a person’s “representative” on the first couple of dates. At some point though, you have to drop the pretense and be your authentic self. Who wants to get up at 5:00 am and put make up on for a guy? Why would you spend loads of cash on a woman when you are on a budget to save money?

Have you ever had a difficult time being yourself around the person you are seeing?

Have you ever noticed when the person you are dating finally “relaxed” around you? Did it make a difference?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Dating: Afraid to show true colors? »

Dating perks: The gushy stuff

As much as I hear single people proclaim their love of being free, those same people will completely trade it all in to be with someone great. Single life has its moments, but how awesome is it to meet someone and be caught up in the haze of “love”..be honest!

That butterfly feeling you get when you see them calling. The naughty thoughts you have about them during the day. Waking up next to a person who literally makes you feel like you can conquer the world…all that gushy stuff is FUN.

What do you think are the perks of dating a great match? Do you enjoy the getting to know you part the most? Do you relish slipping into a comfortable routine with one another and merging lives the best?

Sometimes, it’s the little things that you get those gushy feelings over! What’s your favorite?

Guys – we know you get that gushy feelings too – no judgment, though! What is your favorite thing about a new romance?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

Continue reading Dating perks: The gushy stuff »

The Ex Files: Keep old mementos?

My friend Lewis recently had dinner at his lady friend’s house. He noticed a lot of racy pictures of her that she displayed in her living room. When he inquired about them, she said that her former boyfriend took the pictures and she kept them because they were so beautiful. I am not sure if Lewis was bothered more by the nearly nude images or the fact that the “guy before him” took them.

He asked me if I kept things from past relationships and I actually had to think really hard to remember. I had kept a lot! I also forgot that some of it came from an ex. It’s interesting to see how the things we hold on to from our past relationships become a part of who we are. If it was a gift from an ex, the sentimental value is there but that doesn’t mean we haven’t moved on.

How much “stuff” do you still have from your past relationships? Would you keep racy pictures, sex tapes, jewelry, etc. that would be a constant reminder about them?

Would your exes be surprised at the things …

Continue reading The Ex Files: Keep old mementos? »

Dating: Should you stay or go?

Sometimes you know the exact moment that your relationship is over. It’s possible that is the point where you realize the only thing you two have is good sex. I won’t pretend that good sex will make you hang on a lot longer than you should, it happens. A lot.

The question then becomes how long will it take before the relationship with great sex is not satisfying all the other needs? Do you think it is wrong to stay in a relationship when the only thing you enjoy about it is the sex and little else?

I think most people would agree that bad sex is a deal breaker, but should it be a deal breaker when the sex is great but the relationship is not?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Dating: Should you stay or go? »

Single life: Money and mating

A group of MIT researchers conducted a study about “economic behavior” and what factors influence how we spend, save, acquire debt as consumers. Not surprising, a lot of our spending habits are related to seeking romantic partners. You guys know how I love these scientific studies!

Data was collected from 134 US cities that included the sex ratios of unmarried people, average consumer debt, and the number of credit cards per person. What they discovered was that in cities where unmarried men outnumbered unmarried women, there was more personal debt and more credit cards per person.

If you have ever seen Love Jones, you may remember the scene where Hollywood says, “You don’t need poetry to get women”. Savon replys, “Try a breath mint and a Visa.”
Funny enough, I thought of this when reading about the study.

How do you think our spending habits impact the dating scene. Does the money we spend make us believe we stand out more, thereby attracting more?

Do you believe we rely …

Continue reading Single life: Money and mating »

Relationship dynamics: Protection or control?

I attended the Branford Marsalis and Joey Calderazzo Duo performance this weekend. It was a truly fantastic night of live music that drew a very diverse crowd. I had such a great time!

I happened to notice (because I’m nosy when I want to be!) a woman and her man/husband/bodyguard nearby. They were standing very close to one another. What I first thought to be sweet affection started to look more like overprotective man with his woman. I tried not to roll my eyes when he had to stay by her side as she walked to the bathroom. Seriously?

I know I’ve been single for a hundred years, but when did it become necessary to guard your woman this much? I do love the idea of being protected and taken care of by men. I just wonder at what point does it cross the line into domination territory?

What are the signs that the person you are seeing is too controlling?

Some women like to be dominated and encourage Alpha male behavior. I always find it interesting how the dynamics play out …

Continue reading Relationship dynamics: Protection or control? »

Do you have an office crush?

Hi Guys! We are happy to have Brian Jenkins back to guest blog today about office crushes:

Many, many people develop crushes on co-workers. Without these office crushes, the workplace would be even more boring! The crush could represent real feelings, or perhaps you’re just desperate for change and the crush represents hope. Perhaps the “newness” will wear off and you’ll wonder why you had a crush on them in the first place.

According to a Monster.com survey, 53 percent of employees had a crush on a co-worker, and 36 percent of these crushes developed into workplace relationships. 73 percent of employees think openly dating a co-worker could jeopardize job security and advancement and 62 percent believe workplace relationships are a distraction.

Crushes at work can be emotional roller coasters. An office crush can become a huge distraction and prevent you from being a model employee. If an office crush becomes a relationship, they may provide intimate details about the …

Continue reading Do you have an office crush? »

Should occupation matter?

If you have spent any time at all on the Atlanta dating scene, you’ve heard the following countless times: “What do you do?” which is usually followed by, “Where did you go to school?” Casual conversations can go from innocent flirting to archaeological dig for information in 60 seconds!

Everyone has their own angle to asking the career or occupation question. A lot of people believe that what a person does for a living says a lot about their character, personality….and bank account.

This is one of the reasons one of my guy friends tell women that he runs a non-profit when he meets them. This is only partly true because he actually runs the family business and runs the non-profit on the side. He says it is two-fold: It weeds out overly pretentious women who are only out to land wealthy men. It appeals to women who share similar interests and outlook.

I don’t know if this has worked well for him or not, but I do think about how much occupation matters – or does not matter …

Continue reading Should occupation matter? »

Does Marriage Really Make People Happier?

I am a firm believer that marriage needs good PR – well better PR than the Kardashians would be a good start. Those of us who have never been married before hear the horror stories and cautionary tales of marrying the wrong person. It is probably one of the biggest concerns many of us have.

A lot of people believe that if they find the right person and get married, their lives will make them happier – richer, and more satisfying. I happen to believe that it can but that is not the reason I ultimately want to marry. I want to get married because I love the man that asks me to marry him. I know, crazy concept!

The Journal of Marriage recently published a study that revealed:
“While both marriage and cohabitation provide benefits over being single, these reduce over time following a honeymoon period.”

I could argue that being single has its moments too – there are days when it can be super annoying and lonely – just like in a marriage.

The researchers also stated that …

Continue reading Does Marriage Really Make People Happier? »