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Relationship growing pains

Most relationships undergo growing pains. This is the phase when a couple argues a lot and realizes how well they handle conflict. If you are in a relationship long enough, situations will come up to test you both. Some people wait this period out – waiting for things to get better. Others bail, cut their losses, and go seek out another mate thinking things will be different. They are never different.

Every dating relationship you have will require effort, work, and a lot of patience if it is going to last. A lot of us singles aren’t good at playing the waiting game though. The moment things get messy, challenging, or slightly imperfect – we check out!

I have been guilty of this before but I finally learned that you have to be willing to wait out the tough periods. Especially when the person is wait-worthy.

Do you have a hard time getting past the growing pains of a relationship? Do you have any advice for people who are just reaching that stage of bickering and arguing?

Instead of running for the hills, how do we improve our chances in the relationship waiting game?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

173 comments Add your comment

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
7:39 am

In my experience, it is simply stepping back and being grateful for what you have, instead of thinking about how things were in the very beginning. Most relationships are hot and heavy at first and then you start seeing the real person, then things can fall into a routine, you start noticing bad habits, etc. etc.

I find that people that have never been alone for a long period of time, 6 months +, don’t really have a good understanding and have real problems with gratitude.

OUCH ! i bumped my head

December 22nd, 2011
8:12 am

Relationship growing pains hmmmmm “Is that when over the past 25 years
her once was a Nice Butt doubles in size?

Adam Lambert

December 22nd, 2011
8:45 am

“The moment things get messy, challenging, or slightly imperfect – we check out!”

And you keep repeating this and repeating this and repeating this and you NEVER GROW or become truly mature! Your nasty attitudes fester throughout your lives and you become so wise in your own eyes and EVERY man is beneath you!

Guys and gals: Seek out old, even elderly men and women who have STAYED MARRIED TO ONE PERSON THEIR ENTIRE LIVES for relationship advice, instead of your mouthy, beyotchy girlfriends and don’t-know-what-a-real-man-is male friends.

Otherwise, y’all gone stay messed up and will keep repeating these bad-stupid dating things over and over and over and over …

Lam

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
9:00 am

Well, I see there’s some tensions today…Good morning ;-)

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
9:03 am

No tension on my side :)

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
9:04 am

Good Morning Honeybells!

Must we argue today..today is my friday..let there be peace and love and sunshine.

nelsonh

December 22nd, 2011
9:10 am

that is a great question. i really like it. One way to get through the growing pains of a relationship is to give in and give up on every issue. Another way is to be always right and never giving in. Personally speaking the very best relationships i have had have been of a short duration. I get to see the best in the other person and they get to see the best in me. I love it that way. It reminds me of a story , a man was being interviewed on his long marriage[70 years] and was asked what the secret was. He replied, “learning to say “yes Dear”. Can you imagine the number of yes dears in 70 years.

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
9:11 am

I see Kym walking in with the Christmas hat on handing out stockings filled with goodies…This is my Friday too, thank GOD! Woooh hooooo hoooooooooo. Who’s serving the Holiday Spirits?

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
9:21 am

Good morning.

Like I’ve been lamenting over and over, people do not have patience to weather through even the smallest hiccup in a relationship. So quick to jump ship due to a small disagreement. Disagreements doesn’t necessary equate to arguing, but some don’t know the difference…lots of punks (men and women) walking among us.

disco

December 22nd, 2011
9:21 am

kym – peace, love, sunshine? SHUT UP. okay – sorry. that was kind of ugly.

JK

December 22nd, 2011
9:23 am

Being in my mid 30’s and having been always good at waiting out the growing pains it is interesting to note that as the dating pool shrinks you realize that you are a rare breed. The people that know how to wait out the growing pains are already married!

disco

December 22nd, 2011
9:24 am

hi leggs – funny you mention punks. just had a discussion with a friend last night re her momma’s boy. not guy she’s dating but her son. he’s only 10 but the poor kid has an apron string in one hand and a nipple in the other. she thinks it’s cute. I told her it might be cute now but when he’s a 20/25/30 year old punk A momma’s boy it won’t be as cute.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
9:28 am

@nelsonh ~ all the times one says “yes dear” doesn’t even matter (lol)…they made it to 70s come hook or crook. They navigated the choppy waters together through sick and sin, his ride or die chick that got them to 70 years or marriage. No doubt it wasn’t always smooth sailing, but obviously they didn’t bail at the first sign of conflict. That’s the problem with relationships in 2011, too many bail too quickly.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
9:30 am

@disco ~ hello. Nope, it won’t be cute and he’ll be the first to bail because the woman didn’t do something the way his mother did it, or the mother herself will attempt to sabotage his relationship because the woman isn’t up to her standards…a no win situation for mama boys.

Truth

December 22nd, 2011
9:37 am

The worst is when you are dating someone and before the fourth month is up, she starts talking about engagement rings, weddings and “do you see us marrying in the future?” Why do women do that? Do women just place a bull’s eye on getting married? There is NOTHING that will make a guy pull up the emergency brake, go into a slideways slide and hit the ejector seat faster then that. What about just ALLOWING it to happen instead of trying to put it on the fast track? JEESE!

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
9:37 am

Leggs
Most guys are mama’s boys regardless of what you think, my own father who has been married to my mother for 35 years is a mama’s boy. Most guys want to fight their dad and will do almost anything for their mom, in my house we learned really quick that dad hits more often, but mom hits hard!!!! The mother won’t always try and sabotage relationships, she may put in her 2 cents, but most won’t interfere.

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
9:39 am

@Disco..girl don’t be all grinchy..it’s 70 degrees down here..it feels more like April than December

I guess folks do bail quick..I know I am quick on the draw with foolishness and I am begining to think I have developed..the gift of good-bye. Use to be a time I worked hard to have folks like or understand me..now..its more and more of a ol well..push the hell on!

Jeff Foxworthy

December 22nd, 2011
9:41 am

Have you ever seen the way women react to the wedding bouguet being tossed? It’s like a WWE Battle Royal. Women WILL hit pavement to catch that bouguet. The difference is with men when the garter is tossed. Men act like it’s a hand grenade dipped in AIDS. “OMG, it touched my pants! It touched my pants!” Then some brave soul throws himself on the garter to save the rest of us…..

disco

December 22nd, 2011
9:42 am

truth – I agree. that rush thing is so not cool especially for the younger women. still, the biological clock is a bad boy for some women once they reach a certain age. at that point, (in their minds) they don’t have time to be letting things take their course. it gets very real for those chicks.

dude – I disagree. I’ll say most men love their mommas but most aren’t momma’s boys. mostly because it takes a certain kind of mother to cripple her child in that way. same thing for daddy’s girls. some are crippled and almost freaking helpless because daddy did too much for them.

kym – yeah yeah yeah. I’m working on it. it’s still early and I’m still at work.

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
9:43 am

Jeff, I have a picture of me running away from it, lmao, that is so true!!!

Tmac

December 22nd, 2011
9:45 am

I am guilty on this but now that I have learned to wait it out and see things improve, I keep meeting those who are who I was before. Life sucks!!!

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
9:45 am

Ok, I think we have different definitions for mama’s boys, what is yours?

Truth

December 22nd, 2011
9:46 am

@Disco- That’s all fine and dangy, but she can’t have kids! There is no reason to even dwell on it this early, because she has no biological clock. She’s even going through menapause at 47. After two months, she first brought up the subject of her “wedding ring” and last week, she starts talking about where she would want to have her wedding at and if I saw us getting married! WTH?? Needless to say, I excused myself from that conversation and probably from the relationship.

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
9:46 am

Mine is basically I Love, Fear, and Respect my mom enough to try and not p1ss her off.

Love Fear and Respect in that order :)

disco

December 22nd, 2011
9:48 am

me, myself, personally – I think momma’s boys are the ones that can’t hardly make a decision without consulting momma. the ones who aren’t responsible because they don’t have to be because momma will always bail them out even when they don’t need/deserve bailing out. the ones who can do no wrong. everybody else is wrong but not her son. see where I’m going with that?

disco

December 22nd, 2011
9:50 am

truth – has she ever been married? if not, sounds like she’s rushing to make up for lost time. if she has, sounds like she’s trying to hurry up and recreate the life image that she wants. either way, she’s too old for that and oughtta know she’s ruining her chances. run forrest run.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
9:51 am

Awww the wedding bouquet. I have never stood in that line. That’s my cue to head to the restroom or the bar.

Four months into a relationship the convo on marriage shouldn’t be on the table. If the man brought it up, the hair on the back of my neck would start irritating me and, knowing me, I would shut down.

Truth

December 22nd, 2011
9:56 am

Never been married. Been asked twice, but she said NO to the suitors. She’s a nice woman and all, does a lot of things for me all the time, but getting married seems like dropping a mouse into a maze that has no exit opening. Can’t breathe….getting weak……need air…..fading….fading.

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
9:56 am

Now hold on ya’ll. The key phrase here is ” when the person is wait-worthy”. The issue is everybody ain’t wait-worthy. Those that aren’t are always full of BS. Stick around if you want to. For me, deuces and I’ll holla.

czBrat

December 22nd, 2011
9:57 am

HiYas!

excellent topic. i am the poster child for dipping when my feathers get ruffled. i blame my impatience and, well, general brattyness. :oops: but i’m growing by leaps and bounds! :)
i look forward to gathering some helpful tips from fellow bloggers today.

most men love their mommas but most aren’t momma’s boys. mostly because it takes a certain kind of mother to cripple her child in that way
disco, i was thinking along those lines as well. my son is no mama’s boy. i have trained up that child in the way he should go. the kid can sink or swim according to his own ability and understanding. he will sometimes thrive and sometimes suffer through the choices he makes in life. i’ll always be close enough to listen if he wants to share; far enough to let him handle on his own.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 22nd, 2011
9:59 am

Good day..

My only advice is for us singles to remember that relationships go in waves. We just have to ride the wave when things are up and down. I just think if its someone that you are always into it with, they are always nagging, arguing, complaining, never satisfied with you and it is just a constant battle, then cut your losses. You will be better off without them.

People always forget that dating and relationships are OPTIONAL; therefore if you are not happy with someone and your interaction together, you can always leave, just be up front and honest!

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
10:00 am

I consider myself a mama’s boy, but I don’t tell my mom hardley anything that goes on in my life nor do I let her influence any decisions I make. I don’t cry on her shoulder nor do I ever ask for her help, but I love, fear and respect her enough that I won’t go out and purposely do things to make her angry. I talk with her maybe about 10 minutes a month, a call every other week or so.

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:02 am

I will get up to do the bouquet toss but I am usually standing outside of the proper lane of tragectory. I’ve seen chicks boobs come out, panties show from falling on the ground wrestling for that thing. Catching a married chicks flowers does not make you a soon-to-be-bride. It’s just for fun I suppose.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
10:08 am

It’s that old wives tale that makes women jump up to catch that bouquet.

Hey czB! You must have been working on your brattiness for a long time cuz I see no remnants of if (LOLOL).

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
10:09 am

Re: The bouquet toss…

We’ve got a picture from our wedding of one of Mrs. Swiss’ friends in mid air, doing a full split (so much so that you can almost see her lips peeking out from under her dress) & reaching out as far as she can to try to catch that thing. B!tch had some ups, I’ll give her that. :lol:

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:12 am

swiss – She must have those butterfly wing lips :lol:

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
10:16 am

Legend has it that in 1823 Hazel Bartholomew caught the brides bouquet and was married 6mths later.

czBrat

December 22nd, 2011
10:17 am

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
10:20 am

Slim — Apparently so. Sadly for her, she still didn’t catch it. This other tall b!tch put a body on her & came down with the board. Rebounding is all about boxing out. :lol:

Side note: Do the butterfly wing CT lips start out looking like a cocoon when younger? :shock: :lol:

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
10:24 am

Hey there czBrat!! I have never understood the bouquet thang..thank you Fion for the historical fact..of course back in 1800’s marriages were arranged..dudes could get the daughter, five chickens, two goats and a side of beef. LOL!!

disco

December 22nd, 2011
10:26 am

ARRGGH! I just made a phone call. went through umpteen voice prompts. finally got a person. they put me on hold and them promptly hung up on me. I call back and suddenly the voice prompts don’t work. I’m pressing 1 and the recording is just going on and on like I didn’t push a number. I hang up and call back a third time. anyway – just wanted to share the angst.

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
10:28 am

Sounds to me that the fathers couldn’t get rid of them fast enough lol, gotta put sweeteners on the side to get them to take the deal.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
10:29 am

I hate that disco…I always get a name when a person answers so when they mysteriously hang up I can call them out when I call again. Just rude hanging up on folk, esp. if you call with a problem they don’t want to deal with. Customer service is going down the drain…

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
10:29 am

I believe you mean a side of beef curtains, Kym. :lol:

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
10:29 am

Merry Christmas everyone! Just popped in to say that!

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:33 am

Sounds to me that the fathers couldn’t get rid of them fast enough lol, gotta put sweeteners on the side to get them to take the deal

Reminds me of The Color Purple. Danny Glover’s character wanted Neffe but the dad was only trying to get rid of Ceelie :lol:

swiss – I don’t really know if they are in the cocoon phase at a younger age. The beau and I were talking about that the other day. He was like, Why do some girls have extra meat down there? He was like, isn’t it supposed to be nice lips with the ‘man in the boat’ in the middle, not a whole sheet of flaps :lol:

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
10:34 am

Chile, if I was born back then, my father wouldn’t have been able to arrange a marriage with me. I would probably most resemble Taming of the Shrew (lol) and disco would have been my younger sister. :lol: :lol: Not meaning to throw you under the bus, disco…I like you.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
10:35 am

Merry Christmas to you PR and your family.

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
10:36 am

“Why do some girls have extra meat down there?”

Slim — See now, that right there ↑ is why it’s good to not be famous. That quote, taken out of context, could make headlines on TMZ & the Enquirer for weeks. :lol:

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
10:36 am

@SlimNu ~ you have me choking with laughter. A whole sheet of flaps…

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
10:38 am

Q: “Why do some girls have extra meat down there?”

A: Because you pick up yo’ hoes in Bankok.

:lol:

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
10:40 am

I knew a girl that the doctors before she was born, thought she was a dude, because she had so much meat down there, born that way.

disco

December 22nd, 2011
10:43 am

leggs – re taming of the shrew. true story. some years ago a cousin of mine got married. my son was probably around 6 or so and was just totally impressed with the fact that my little cousins that were in the wedding got to ride in the limo. he and my little brother were discussing the possibility of them getting to ride in a limo some day. they asked my mom about it and she said that when I got married they could ride in the limo. both kids were like “yeah right whatever as if that’s going to happen”. my mother promptly responded (after laughing of course) that at the very least they could count on somebody dying one day and then they could ride in the family limo. funny but messed up at the same time.

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
10:43 am

Dude, there has to be a story with that. Can someone please pass the Eggnog???

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
10:43 am

Lawd..swiss..you can get sexy to anything..Beef curtains..LOL!!

Yeah I am pretty sure I would not have made it I am not one for following the social norms..shoot marry me off to some farmer..I am running away just like Neffe

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:45 am

See now, that right there ↑ is why it’s good to not be famous

swiss – I guess you have a point there…they didn’t let that one chick live down the “Fire Crotch” deal…Brittney Spears I believe?

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
10:46 am

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
10:46 am

@disco ~ my mother used to tell me if I was born into slavery, I wouldn’t be a house wench, I would have been hung with my fast mouth.

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:48 am

Dude – There are babies who’s private area is a bit ambiguous and they don’t know which sex the baby will turn out to be….or is the correct word androgenous? Either way, yall know what I mean.

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:49 am

PR – Howyabeen my Italian Stud? The Mrs? Baby?

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
10:49 am

@Leggs..I always figured I would have been with NatTurner’s group..”Do you want a revolution!!!”

disco

December 22nd, 2011
10:49 am

kym – not that you are hating on the farmers. shoot, I’m a fan of the westerns so if I were in that day and age I might could get with a rancher. heck, I might could get with a rancher now. when I lived in texas I came across some fellas with some nice ranches. of course, that depends on how much he expected me to help out around the ranch. never mind. maybe a rancher isn’t such a good idea. still, gotta love the ruggedness of it.

leggs – mothers will take it there. still, kids don’t take after strangers. word on the street is my mother was a mean spirited little something in her day and apparently I’m just like her but worse. word on the street is my father was that guy that everybody liked. the life of the party type. that’s my brother. everybody – loves my brother. everybody – can’t stand me.

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
10:52 am

Slim — I believe it was Jessica Simpson who was said to be “Sexual Napalm.” Now, I’m sure Brittany Spears has some “fire crotch” of her own, having f#cked Kevin Federline, but that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah. :lol:

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
10:52 am

@disco
so you like ropes???

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
10:54 am

@disco ohh I am not hating on farmers..at all..I wouldn’t mind a cowboy boy..cattle rancher..etc Heck I want to learn to ride a horse next year…but I want to choose to be with him..not be handed over in exchange for a share of the back 40..damn that.

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
10:55 am

Hey Leggs Hey Slim. I’m well, my son is well and I am ready to trade my wife in.

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
10:56 am

loookkkkee here another one. So Kym you like ropes too???

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:56 am

swiss – You’re crazy…but I wonder what Kfed is up to these days. Maybe he’ll have a shot at Kim Kardashian next.

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
11:02 am

“but I wonder what Kfed is up to these days”

From this looks of this pic, I’d say he’s up to about two-fiddy. :lol:

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:02 am

PR – Why are you ready for a trade so early in the game? Did the kid change her whole genetic makeup and now you don’t recognize her?

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
11:02 am

uhh..Fion what are you talking about ropes?

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:04 am

swiss – Ewwwwwwww….I remember he had gained weight. I thought he was on that celebrity weight loss show with Shar Jackson (can’t recall the name now though)?

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:04 am

Well your first mistake PR was getting married, live and learn

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

Celebrity Fit Club

Tancred

December 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

It seems there is a presumption here that a “relationship” means a man and a woman who “date” and are somehow beholden to each other in some way. I have dozens of “relationships,” but by keeping them platonic, by keeping them relationships of acquaintance and friendly conversation, there is never any expectations or obligations of something more. I never understood why people feel compelled to “pair up,” to become horrible “couples” where each person spends all their time trying to change themselves to please the other, as if that is some noble act or obligation. Screw that. And if I need a “release” there is plenty of free pornography on the Intar-Webs. Friendships are MUCH more satisfying and lasting than “relationships.”

disco

December 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

kym – you know he’s thinking about that lasso but trying to twist it into something sordid. I never roped a calf or anything but enough tequila shots and I’ll ride the mechanical bull.

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
11:06 am

@Kym
Just kidding. Ropes as in B&D. You mentioned ranching in your comment like (disco) did.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:08 am

Even friendships have growing pains…platonic ones too…especially if the parties are *true* friends.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:11 am

@disco ~ yes ma’am, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree stump. I am my mother’s child and if I didn’t leave NYC at the tender age of 19, I’d probably be a hot mess. I like who I’ve morphed into (lol).

@PR ~ awww, her hormones all over the place. You’ll get your sweet wife back very soon.

@Dude ~ how can you tell that man he made a mistake in getting married to the woman he loves?

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
11:15 am

Aye man, If you drink please don’t drive, and if drive please don’t drink. Be safe everybody.

“Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays”.

Oscar de la Renta

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:20 am

Apologies man, she will hopefully calm down, if she just had a kid, she may have that depression thing. I know my sister blew up crying because she ripped a diaper by accident, went bat sh1t crazy after the kid.

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:21 am

I suppose that is really where the patience that Leggs was talking about, what is the limitation of the carzyness you can withstand.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:21 am

Especially “true” friends, SexyC. Many bumps and hiccups there. True friends work through it all. I’ve been friends with 2 of the ladies I came to Georgia with in 1979. Went to h.s. together and we are still ace boon coons! But, many tears over the years and disagreements over the years.

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:26 am

went bat sh1t crazy after the kid

Um…–>”went bat sh1t crazy after the kid” totally negated –> “she will hopefully calm down, if she just had a kid” :shock:

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:26 am

What great week to be off with this nasty weather. Have to go back to Wal-mart to pick up this jewelry making kit for a friend’s 9 year old daugther. Thought it was too pricy ($19.99), but then thought of the joy she would have walking around with a necklace/bracelet she made for her self and her little sister and thought PRICELESS.

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:29 am

sucks I am at grammer, but hopefully know you what I mean

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:30 am

I thought PR was teasing.

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:32 am

Is everyone in here an english major or something, yesterday you guys gave me crap about spelling, I am gonna really make you angry and end my sentence with a preposition bahahahahaha, I’m down!!!!

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
11:33 am

@SexyC..I am gonna have to give you a AMEN on that statement..you find out just how true folks are when there are growing pains.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:34 am

Leggs – one of my besties that I’ve been friends with for 18 years just called me Monday to tell me that she had been mad at me for something I said to her a month ago. Hell, I just thought she hadn’t called because we’ve been busy. (lol)

But she said after she got over her hurt feelings, she really knew all along that I didn’t mean what I said in a malicious way. I’d just told the truth about something in a very plain way that she wasn’t really feeling at the time.

But…hey, if you can’t get mad at ya’ friends, who can ya’ get mad at?

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:34 am

So are any of you going to be in here tomorrow? Or is this pretty much everyone’s Friday?

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:34 am

Yeah me too, SexyC. His family is his life and he will go through hell and back to take care of them and make Mrs. as comfortable and he possibly can

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:36 am

Dude – I am the number one offender when it comes to “at.” Every time I do it, I can hear my seventh grade teacher….

Me: I don’t know where it’s at.
SGT: Behind that preposition.

LOL – doesn’t stop me from doing it though.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:38 am

I have 3 really close friends that we have been through hell and back with. Never have we fought, but sometimes we wanted to slap the isht out of each other. Friends work through the issues and not close down the friendship. That’s what friends do. Your friend had to clear her head in order to remember what’s in her heart for your relationship.

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
11:38 am

Sexy Cool for the win!

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:39 am

Pet peeve: “where you at?” If you can say that, you can easily say “where are you!”

disco

December 22nd, 2011
11:41 am

SCool – now it’s funny she was giving you the silent treatment for a month and you didn’t even notice it. a whole month of angst gone to waste.

leggs – it’s also something to see when really close friends do fall out. boy, both sides know where the bodies are buried.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:42 am

“Your friend had to clear her head in order to remember what’s in her heart for your relationship.”

More people should do that for their partners.

As for us, I started referring to our issues at RGO’s – relationship growth opportunities – and will identify them as such as soon as I recognize it. And then there are times when RGO’s challenge you to grow personally as well.

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
11:42 am

What’s up Purp? Happy holidays to you & yours, bro.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:44 am

@disco ~ she noticed it, but had the wrong reason for no contact for a month (lol).

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:44 am

disco – when she first said that she had an issue with me, I thought it was because the last time she called me right after I made that comment, I was going into a meeting. I said I was going to call her back, but totally forgot all about it – until I saw her name on the phone Monday.

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
11:46 am

Hey Swiss, how have you been broham?

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:48 am

O/T ~ second cop car I’ve seen patrolling our sub this morning. Too many break ins in the past 3 months.

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
11:51 am

A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: “Anyone want to buy a present?”
Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered “No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!”
I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!
I think that Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves.
No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!
Q: Do you know why Santa dosen’t have any children ??? A: he only comes once a year and thats down a chimney …
Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.

disco

December 22nd, 2011
11:53 am

PR – broham used to be that lick. you are telling your age with that one.

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
11:56 am

I’m in my 40’s but I look no older than 28. I hate that sometimes but not really

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
11:57 am

I think I shall make sweet potato pie cookies tonight..I am in the mood to bake.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:58 am

@Kym ~ I think you know where I live…I have cold milk.

czBrat

December 22nd, 2011
11:59 am

lol @ SC 11:42. s/o had to train me on that term (RGO) couple years ago coz he didn’t particularly like the way i pointed out our “challenges”. now he doesn’t much care for my intent when i use “RGO” (coz you know what the he!! i’m really saying!), so no doubt he’ll come up with yet another less combative, positive spin.

i sure appreciated all those email blasts informing me of coupon codes and shipping deals when i had all that xmas shopping to do, but now that i’m done i find them to be quite irrrrrritating!

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
12:00 pm

LOL @ Leggs..I love you but it is suppose to come a hard rain this evening..and once I am in the house I am in. I just feel the need to bake this evening. I need some parchment paper..thou..

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
12:03 pm

I have parchment paper….

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
12:04 pm

I need to put on my jogging suit and get to the store before the rain comes…

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
12:04 pm

@Czbrat I was good..another Xmas and still no Kitchen Aid Stand mixer..I missed the special on QVC..sigh..I am trying to be good..but come tax time..it’s on..I am getting that and a Keurig. (and I don’t even really drink coffee)

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
12:05 pm

cz – I’ve been unsubscribing for the last few weeks. So Annoying!

disco

December 22nd, 2011
12:06 pm

kym – and a little while ago I was thinking about stopping for 7up to make a 7up cake. don’t know where it came from. just out of the blue.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
12:06 pm

Keurig makes teas.

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
12:09 pm

I suppose these kids won’t make the Nice list this season.

http://www.ajc.com/news/cobb/two-cobb-middle-schoolers-1269099.html

czBrat

December 22nd, 2011
12:10 pm

I am getting that and a Keurig. (and I don’t even really drink coffee)
:shock:

i did well for almost a year not ordering anything off of qvc. when i started my xmas shopping i actually got a “welcome back! we’ve missed you!” email from them. LOL

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
12:12 pm

Buon Natale, ciao!

Fresh Prince of Belfast

December 22nd, 2011
12:12 pm

Girls are like gigantic girl-shaped dolls with feelings

czBrat

December 22nd, 2011
12:13 pm

slim, i thought about unsubbing too, but i cling to the hope of getting a 90% off!!! sale mail that i just cannot pass up.

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
12:13 pm

@Leggs..I know…and hot chocolate..I had some cafe mocha over turkey day over my goodness..it was so good!!

@disco..I am making one of those for the first time saturday..do you use regular flour or cake flour? I am not sure I am trusting this recipe I got.

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
12:15 pm

@Czbrat..I have the app on my phone..(don’t judge me) I get updates..I got one of Rachel Ray’s stoneware bakers..yeah..she got me..I will be getting the set as well.

disco

December 22nd, 2011
12:24 pm

kym – i use regular flour. i’m too low maintenance for cake flour.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
12:25 pm

Oh, didn’t know about the hot chocolate…

disco

December 22nd, 2011
12:27 pm

kym – I just thought “can you fry chicken with cake flour”

Fresh Prince of Belfast

December 22nd, 2011
12:29 pm

What in the hell is this blog about

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
12:30 pm

All Yall have a Great Christmas (or insert you recognized holiday here), be safe and be Merry.

Peace Out! :D

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
12:45 pm

I didn’t think this was a politically correct blog

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
12:46 pm

@disco I don’t know..I bet you could..I will go with regular flour..I should have gotten some lemon extract for a little ba-zinga!

disco

December 22nd, 2011
12:50 pm

kym – I often use vanilla and almond extract. a bit sweeter but I like sweet. lemon will do just fine though. yum. are you just having “dry” cake or are you making a glaze?

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
12:54 pm

@disco..I am going with a lime glaze..I have some lime juice..but I thought lemon/lime..a little summer flavor in the winter..ha..it feels like summer now.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
1:30 pm

“Sometimes when you win, you really lose. And sometimes when you lose, you really win. And sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie and sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Winning or losing is all one organic globule, from which one extracts what one needs.”

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
1:40 pm

What the heck is that suppose to mean, look at the score board, I won!!!

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
1:50 pm

Ooook..I just came back to one of the weirdest convos yet on the blog..it went all Metta World up in here..

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
2:04 pm

It’s from White Men Can’t Jump. (lol)

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
2:08 pm

Awww..ya’ll went wayyyyy back..

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
2:12 pm

And speaking of Metta, his barber was our table mate on the cruise. Really cool dude. Boogie the Barber. He and his wife were hilarious.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
2:33 pm

Yay, the $19.89 gift was now $14.98.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
2:34 pm

See, Leggs – everything happened for a reason.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
2:41 pm

Yes ma’am.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
2:43 pm

@SexyC ~ did Woody Harrelson say that in White Man Can’t Jump. I remember hearing that and me SMDH when it was said then laughing.

Exiled!

December 22nd, 2011
2:55 pm

What’s the topic?

Exiled!

December 22nd, 2011
2:57 pm

Ok no man here

See ya!

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
3:07 pm

I really really want to go home..50 mins remaining.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
3:09 pm

His girlfriend’s character said it…Rosie Perez.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
3:13 pm

@SexyC ~ have you gathered up some of your silver???

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
3:13 pm

Yes, and with her accent made it even more ditzy blond funny.

LorriePaige

December 22nd, 2011
3:17 pm

Now is the time to find out if you’re in a real committed relationship, as all of them have their ups and downs….You can go back to when you first started dating, and what attracted you to each other in the first place. Build on that. Realize there will be issues but it can be solved if you love each other and want the relationship to work. If need be, have a “time out” for you both to think things over before sitting down and discussing it with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Also, know that in relationships, there are lots of compromising; be fair and come to a just and fair solution for the both of you. If you can do that, respecting each other fairly in the decision, then that will help prove that you should stay together because most likely things will work out for the both of you and you’ll most likely have a long and happy relationship. lorriepaige.blogspot.com

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
3:21 pm

For the ladies left here, what do you really want for Christmas…be honest.

I’ll start.

1. Continued health
2. A good meal
3. Peace and quiet. oh yeah,
4. A nice bottle of perfume….that’s it..wait
5. A pair of black pumps. I’m finished….no, I’m not…
6. To see my child smiling Christmas morning. I’m done :lol: :lol:

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
3:31 pm

I would like for Christmas..

1. New PJs(for relaxing)
2. Peace of mind
3. Health for me and the boy
4. Peace, Health and Safety for all my fam and friends
5..And a man with alot of money!!!(I kid..I kid..)

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
3:33 pm

Oh…and one more word to the topic – TheDude and I don’t argue or bicker “A LOT.” Yes, we have conflict and differences of opinion. He has p*ssed me off to the highest levels of p*sstivity. Bbut we don’t argue. We discuss. We may not be able to discuss right away. We may need some cooling off time. But the fussin’ and whoopin’ and hollerin and cussin’ and carryin’ on…We don’t do that.

disco

December 22nd, 2011
3:35 pm

nice to see I’m not the only one still here. that there is gift enough (sike – who am I kidding?)

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
3:35 pm

@SexyC ~ sounds like you’re in a budding, promising relationship that has led to an engagement. If you can’t discuss right at the moment, thank goodness you two know to go to neutral corners, NEVER throwing respect out the window.

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
3:41 pm

Has anyone read the Robin Thicke article in Essence about his music and marriage to Paula Patton? I am reading a little snippet..good article.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
3:43 pm

LOL at disco…misery loves company.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
3:45 pm

Is this a new article? I read one a while back where he spoke on how Paula was ashamed to be dating a white man in the very beginning, but she came around. She felt bad how she acted in the beginning. He spoke on how he pursued her and wasn’t hearing NO.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
3:46 pm

A winning lottery ticket for a big jackpot….

disco

December 22nd, 2011
3:47 pm

leggs – I know a lot of the black women that I know personally who date/married white said they dated a white guy when they were finally at the end of their rope with black ones. in a few instances, that white guy just so happened to be the one.

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
3:57 pm

Ohh k..will looks like I can’t post it..

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
3:59 pm

One more try..robin Thicke Says Black Women arent better off with white men..

To sum it up is that there are good black men out there..he knows them, most of his guy friends are black..and that white men are the ones with the problems..

czBrat

December 22nd, 2011
4:00 pm

hola all,

kym, i haven’t read essence in forever. but i heard him interviewed on the radio not too long ago. it’s cool the way he talks about his relationship. and they seem to really enjoy each other in his video. perhaps it’s all for the cameras (and mics), but it’s heartwarming just the same.

leggs, who are you calling for the x-factor win tonight? i know you were heartbroken when chunkers had her meltdown. lol.
my money has been on melanie since the auditions and it still is. i’m realy impressed with how chris rene has hung in there tho.

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
4:00 pm

Now on that note I bid ya’ll good night..be safe and have a happy holiday(whichever one you celebrate)

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
4:01 pm

But seriously…I have so many things that I want but nothing I *need*. I could always use a phone upgrade. Having just bought a house, we can always find places to spend money there. I’m always good for a trip or three. Spa gift certificates. DSW gift cards. Anything running related.

And I could go on.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
4:04 pm

czB – as SOON as I subscribed Essence and O, I haven’t read a single issue. #What’sUpWithThat

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
4:10 pm

Oh…and have I mentioned the hills at Peachtree Corners today? Methinks I’m still traumatized….(lol)

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
4:15 pm

@czB ~ stop calling my portly firecracker “chunkers” (lol). Last night show was horrible and I don’t understand the pairing….Josh is going to take it all the way. BUT, Melanie sang her freaking out with her last number.

czBrat

December 22nd, 2011
4:29 pm

are we sharing wish lists? to the extreme, i’d love a trip to cabo. on the real, i’d like a runner’s watch. in a pinch, gift certificates to vicky’s are always welcome. :)

leggs, i realize josh could be the upset of the century but i WILL NOT give creed to that possibilty.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
4:42 pm

Since everyone seems to be gone, Chris Renee is good but his style is one dimensional. He’s tight in writing his own lyrics, but a concert I dunno….

Josh is more versatile than Chris. Melanie has mad vocals but she’s somewhat boring.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
4:44 pm

Yeah…I’ve been thinking about that Garmin…(just thinking though…for now, I will use my trusty (and free) MapMyRun app on my two year old BB for distance. And my MIO watch that I won to count calories.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
4:55 pm

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF MY FELLOW BLOGGERS.

MY GIFT TO YOU IS LOVE AND RESPECT ALWAYS!!!!

czBrat

December 22nd, 2011
4:55 pm

quittin time and it seems the heavens just opened up a fresh downpour. :(

be safe, ladies.

ciao!

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