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Relationship growing pains

Most relationships undergo growing pains. This is the phase when a couple argues a lot and realizes how well they handle conflict. If you are in a relationship long enough, situations will come up to test you both. Some people wait this period out – waiting for things to get better. Others bail, cut their losses, and go seek out another mate thinking things will be different. They are never different.

Every dating relationship you have will require effort, work, and a lot of patience if it is going to last. A lot of us singles aren’t good at playing the waiting game though. The moment things get messy, challenging, or slightly imperfect – we check out!

I have been guilty of this before but I finally learned that you have to be willing to wait out the tough periods. Especially when the person is wait-worthy.

Do you have a hard time getting past the growing pains of a relationship? Do you have any advice for people who are just reaching that stage of bickering and arguing?

Instead of running for the hills, how do we improve our chances in the relationship waiting game?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

173 comments Add your comment

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
10:38 am

Q: “Why do some girls have extra meat down there?”

A: Because you pick up yo’ hoes in Bankok.

:lol:

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
10:40 am

I knew a girl that the doctors before she was born, thought she was a dude, because she had so much meat down there, born that way.

disco

December 22nd, 2011
10:43 am

leggs – re taming of the shrew. true story. some years ago a cousin of mine got married. my son was probably around 6 or so and was just totally impressed with the fact that my little cousins that were in the wedding got to ride in the limo. he and my little brother were discussing the possibility of them getting to ride in a limo some day. they asked my mom about it and she said that when I got married they could ride in the limo. both kids were like “yeah right whatever as if that’s going to happen”. my mother promptly responded (after laughing of course) that at the very least they could count on somebody dying one day and then they could ride in the family limo. funny but messed up at the same time.

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
10:43 am

Dude, there has to be a story with that. Can someone please pass the Eggnog???

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
10:43 am

Lawd..swiss..you can get sexy to anything..Beef curtains..LOL!!

Yeah I am pretty sure I would not have made it I am not one for following the social norms..shoot marry me off to some farmer..I am running away just like Neffe

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:45 am

See now, that right there ↑ is why it’s good to not be famous

swiss – I guess you have a point there…they didn’t let that one chick live down the “Fire Crotch” deal…Brittney Spears I believe?

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
10:46 am

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
10:46 am

@disco ~ my mother used to tell me if I was born into slavery, I wouldn’t be a house wench, I would have been hung with my fast mouth.

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:48 am

Dude – There are babies who’s private area is a bit ambiguous and they don’t know which sex the baby will turn out to be….or is the correct word androgenous? Either way, yall know what I mean.

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:49 am

PR – Howyabeen my Italian Stud? The Mrs? Baby?

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
10:49 am

@Leggs..I always figured I would have been with NatTurner’s group..”Do you want a revolution!!!”

disco

December 22nd, 2011
10:49 am

kym – not that you are hating on the farmers. shoot, I’m a fan of the westerns so if I were in that day and age I might could get with a rancher. heck, I might could get with a rancher now. when I lived in texas I came across some fellas with some nice ranches. of course, that depends on how much he expected me to help out around the ranch. never mind. maybe a rancher isn’t such a good idea. still, gotta love the ruggedness of it.

leggs – mothers will take it there. still, kids don’t take after strangers. word on the street is my mother was a mean spirited little something in her day and apparently I’m just like her but worse. word on the street is my father was that guy that everybody liked. the life of the party type. that’s my brother. everybody – loves my brother. everybody – can’t stand me.

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
10:52 am

Slim — I believe it was Jessica Simpson who was said to be “Sexual Napalm.” Now, I’m sure Brittany Spears has some “fire crotch” of her own, having f#cked Kevin Federline, but that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah. :lol:

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
10:52 am

@disco
so you like ropes???

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
10:54 am

@disco ohh I am not hating on farmers..at all..I wouldn’t mind a cowboy boy..cattle rancher..etc Heck I want to learn to ride a horse next year…but I want to choose to be with him..not be handed over in exchange for a share of the back 40..damn that.

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
10:55 am

Hey Leggs Hey Slim. I’m well, my son is well and I am ready to trade my wife in.

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
10:56 am

loookkkkee here another one. So Kym you like ropes too???

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
10:56 am

swiss – You’re crazy…but I wonder what Kfed is up to these days. Maybe he’ll have a shot at Kim Kardashian next.

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
11:02 am

“but I wonder what Kfed is up to these days”

From this looks of this pic, I’d say he’s up to about two-fiddy. :lol:

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:02 am

PR – Why are you ready for a trade so early in the game? Did the kid change her whole genetic makeup and now you don’t recognize her?

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
11:02 am

uhh..Fion what are you talking about ropes?

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:04 am

swiss – Ewwwwwwww….I remember he had gained weight. I thought he was on that celebrity weight loss show with Shar Jackson (can’t recall the name now though)?

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:04 am

Well your first mistake PR was getting married, live and learn

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

Celebrity Fit Club

Tancred

December 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

It seems there is a presumption here that a “relationship” means a man and a woman who “date” and are somehow beholden to each other in some way. I have dozens of “relationships,” but by keeping them platonic, by keeping them relationships of acquaintance and friendly conversation, there is never any expectations or obligations of something more. I never understood why people feel compelled to “pair up,” to become horrible “couples” where each person spends all their time trying to change themselves to please the other, as if that is some noble act or obligation. Screw that. And if I need a “release” there is plenty of free pornography on the Intar-Webs. Friendships are MUCH more satisfying and lasting than “relationships.”

disco

December 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

kym – you know he’s thinking about that lasso but trying to twist it into something sordid. I never roped a calf or anything but enough tequila shots and I’ll ride the mechanical bull.

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
11:06 am

@Kym
Just kidding. Ropes as in B&D. You mentioned ranching in your comment like (disco) did.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:08 am

Even friendships have growing pains…platonic ones too…especially if the parties are *true* friends.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:11 am

@disco ~ yes ma’am, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree stump. I am my mother’s child and if I didn’t leave NYC at the tender age of 19, I’d probably be a hot mess. I like who I’ve morphed into (lol).

@PR ~ awww, her hormones all over the place. You’ll get your sweet wife back very soon.

@Dude ~ how can you tell that man he made a mistake in getting married to the woman he loves?

Fion

December 22nd, 2011
11:15 am

Aye man, If you drink please don’t drive, and if drive please don’t drink. Be safe everybody.

“Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays”.

Oscar de la Renta

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:20 am

Apologies man, she will hopefully calm down, if she just had a kid, she may have that depression thing. I know my sister blew up crying because she ripped a diaper by accident, went bat sh1t crazy after the kid.

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:21 am

I suppose that is really where the patience that Leggs was talking about, what is the limitation of the carzyness you can withstand.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:21 am

Especially “true” friends, SexyC. Many bumps and hiccups there. True friends work through it all. I’ve been friends with 2 of the ladies I came to Georgia with in 1979. Went to h.s. together and we are still ace boon coons! But, many tears over the years and disagreements over the years.

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:26 am

went bat sh1t crazy after the kid

Um…–>”went bat sh1t crazy after the kid” totally negated –> “she will hopefully calm down, if she just had a kid” :shock:

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:26 am

What great week to be off with this nasty weather. Have to go back to Wal-mart to pick up this jewelry making kit for a friend’s 9 year old daugther. Thought it was too pricy ($19.99), but then thought of the joy she would have walking around with a necklace/bracelet she made for her self and her little sister and thought PRICELESS.

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:29 am

sucks I am at grammer, but hopefully know you what I mean

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:30 am

I thought PR was teasing.

Dude

December 22nd, 2011
11:32 am

Is everyone in here an english major or something, yesterday you guys gave me crap about spelling, I am gonna really make you angry and end my sentence with a preposition bahahahahaha, I’m down!!!!

Kym

December 22nd, 2011
11:33 am

@SexyC..I am gonna have to give you a AMEN on that statement..you find out just how true folks are when there are growing pains.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:34 am

Leggs – one of my besties that I’ve been friends with for 18 years just called me Monday to tell me that she had been mad at me for something I said to her a month ago. Hell, I just thought she hadn’t called because we’ve been busy. (lol)

But she said after she got over her hurt feelings, she really knew all along that I didn’t mean what I said in a malicious way. I’d just told the truth about something in a very plain way that she wasn’t really feeling at the time.

But…hey, if you can’t get mad at ya’ friends, who can ya’ get mad at?

SlimNu

December 22nd, 2011
11:34 am

So are any of you going to be in here tomorrow? Or is this pretty much everyone’s Friday?

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:34 am

Yeah me too, SexyC. His family is his life and he will go through hell and back to take care of them and make Mrs. as comfortable and he possibly can

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:36 am

Dude – I am the number one offender when it comes to “at.” Every time I do it, I can hear my seventh grade teacher….

Me: I don’t know where it’s at.
SGT: Behind that preposition.

LOL – doesn’t stop me from doing it though.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:38 am

I have 3 really close friends that we have been through hell and back with. Never have we fought, but sometimes we wanted to slap the isht out of each other. Friends work through the issues and not close down the friendship. That’s what friends do. Your friend had to clear her head in order to remember what’s in her heart for your relationship.

Purple Reign

December 22nd, 2011
11:38 am

Sexy Cool for the win!

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:39 am

Pet peeve: “where you at?” If you can say that, you can easily say “where are you!”

disco

December 22nd, 2011
11:41 am

SCool – now it’s funny she was giving you the silent treatment for a month and you didn’t even notice it. a whole month of angst gone to waste.

leggs – it’s also something to see when really close friends do fall out. boy, both sides know where the bodies are buried.

SexyCool

December 22nd, 2011
11:42 am

“Your friend had to clear her head in order to remember what’s in her heart for your relationship.”

More people should do that for their partners.

As for us, I started referring to our issues at RGO’s – relationship growth opportunities – and will identify them as such as soon as I recognize it. And then there are times when RGO’s challenge you to grow personally as well.

i'm swiss™

December 22nd, 2011
11:42 am

What’s up Purp? Happy holidays to you & yours, bro.

Leggs

December 22nd, 2011
11:44 am

@disco ~ she noticed it, but had the wrong reason for no contact for a month (lol).