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Non-negotiable: Men pay for first date

I was getting a little insight about men from a married couple. They shared a lot of interesting things but the one they both agreed on was that men should always, always, always pay the bill on the first date.

Apparently, I should not take a man seriously, if he does not feel happy and eager to pay for an evening date. I can be traditional, so I can appreciate the sentiment behind this idea.

Dating – in a lot of ways – sets the tone of the relationship. Maybe that is not the case for everyone, but generally people who seek a relationship, look at dating behaviors when seeking potential mates.

When a man allows a woman to pay her own way on a first date, does it prove anything about his character? Does it say something about what he thinks of her?

What happens when a woman decides to spring for the first meal? Would it be a sign she is rich, pushy, or overbearing?

Have you ever gone dutch on a first date? If so, was there a second date?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

272 comments Add your comment

Dude

December 21st, 2011
3:23 pm

I ma giong ta intintanally misword/spel evary thin untal u stip corecting ma

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
3:24 pm

@Dude ~ if DOT put messages up like that (accurate nonetheless), they would only have more accidents from all the laughing and blindly ramming into vehicles in front of them.

But, thank you for reminder. I need to call DOT and/or start a petition for them to paint the yellow and white lines all up and down the road. Driving last night in the rain was a pain, and I couldn’t see the lines in the road to help me better navigate. I cussed all the way home.

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
3:25 pm

Dude – it’s okay. Besides, I’m convinced that because of textspeak and tweeting, standard english as we know is going to morph into a hybrid phonetically spelled/ebonically influenced hodgepodge of nothing that is going to further resemble foreign languages where one word/symbol can have different meanings depending upon how the word is spoken and accented.

i'm swiss™

December 21st, 2011
3:30 pm

SexyCool — Since we’re grading grammar, that 3:25 was a run-on sentence. (My Eng. 101 prof. would have docked you 25 points for that) ;-) :lol: Good thing for all of us it’s only a blog. :lol:

Dude

December 21st, 2011
3:30 pm

Actually takes me longer to concentrate enough to not spell things right.

Exiled!

December 21st, 2011
3:30 pm

It does not matter whether this New boo is insecure or not..matter of fact,that is the ex’s interpretation,looking from outside.

They are not together anymore and there is a new government.

In any case,trying to play games by going anyway,like Disco says is putting the kid in harm’s way,potentially.

Don’t fight ur wars by using the kid. You are an Ex!

Know how to navigate relationships ladies!

(there was a Case on NBC where the new wife hated the ex so much she killed the ex’s child(boy) when he came over for his routinely court scheduled visit during the weekend. Threw body in the nearby river where he was found 2 weeks later. Case wasn’t solved until 15 years later)

Dude

December 21st, 2011
3:32 pm

Thanks for that “pick me up Ex” my day seems so much better with that information

Fion

December 21st, 2011
3:33 pm

……and to all a goodnight.

~Arrivederci~

SlimNu

December 21st, 2011
3:34 pm

Did someone say something about a food fight? I don’t fight, I don’t argue. I just hit dat bytch wit a turkey neck! :lol;

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
3:35 pm

Using your logic, Meelow, he should have just had the balls enough to insist that she not to come.

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
3:35 pm

LOL@Slim. And I’d be standing in the corner yelling, “Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!”

DreamsMaterialize

December 21st, 2011
3:37 pm

He needed to handle his chick with out getting her involved.
Sexy Yeah he should have handled that. I gotta say though, I don’t want to have anything to do with the ex or her family. Maybe she has the best family in the world, but I’m cool. Ya’ll do your thing without me. You stay on your side, and I’ll stay on mine, no mixing whatsoever. What once was is no longer, and I’m perfectly ok with that.

Kym

December 21st, 2011
3:37 pm

@ITL..the book(Dragon Tattoo) is dark..really dark..crazy serial killer, incest, ..I like it.

disco

December 21st, 2011
3:39 pm

swiss – I’m quite honest and every relationship has its “testing” point. some folks wait for the situation to present itself others create the situation. I don’t mind admitting I like to know what my boundaries are and what/how much I can get away with. give me an inch….

ex – the new chick brought the drama. don’t start none, won’t be none. others here said mom and her daughter could make other plans. sure they can but is new chick worth all that. heck, she’s just a girlfriend. hasn’t even been upgraded yet. the man in this situation needed to man up from the giddyup. this situation was between him and his woman but he made it between him, his woman, his old woman, his daughter and his momma. chump.

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
3:40 pm

@DreamsM ~ I’m with you on that one. My ex tried to invite me to go with him and his mother to his brother’s for Christmas dinner. Told him he could take his daughter, but I ain’t breaking bread with you guys!

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
3:41 pm

@Kym: I can’t wait to read more. I’m just at the part where Mikael is on the island and Vanger is trying to convince him to solve Harriet’s murder (if she was murdered).

Kym

December 21st, 2011
3:41 pm

LMAO @ Disco..I agree..dude is letting new booty mess up his family situation, I am willing to bet the daughter is not going to get along with Ms. New Booty at all. She is a insecure heifer.

SlimNu

December 21st, 2011
3:43 pm

ITL- I used to watch Jerry when the fights were real. Now it’s just a circus show…I even dug the Rickki Lake show when it was on.

I might have to get the Dragon Tattoo…need a good book to read.
Kym- did you try to finish Getting Back to Happy??

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
3:44 pm

Kym – why did I just have a Color Purple flashback? (lol)

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
3:46 pm

I thought that “Getting Back to Happy” was just a screenplay in book form. It even has a scenariot to deal with Gregory Hines’ death. Wasn’t a great book. Should be an okay movie.

Exiled!

December 21st, 2011
3:46 pm

Sexxy…he don’t have balls like that coz u say ur friend is phine(er) and he still has vapors for her proly..so he won’t communicate as strongly but at the same time,he cannot ignore his new boo either or else he sleeps on the couch.

Why does ur friend really care…she needs to move on as well I think…

@disco…true all that u post…she is a girlfriend but guess what…he is paying attention to her…it could be u in that situation with a man.

Uall chics play the same game on us guys..

Different chic..same MO

All of u :lol:

U rule,I know that!

If we don’t follow thru on your orders we sleep on the couch. :lol:

Kym

December 21st, 2011
3:47 pm

@SlimNu..Naww..I decided to give into my darkside for awhile..So how did Ms.Terry McMillian do..she not still in Bitter Betty mode? She knew that man was gay..

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
3:50 pm

How in the name of all that’s good and holy is it not even 4:00 yet??? Sheesh…. 1 hour, 40 minutes until happy hour…..

Kym

December 21st, 2011
3:52 pm

@SexyC..the Color Purple..fits just about any situation…LOL

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
3:53 pm

I was thinking about going out this evening for a few drinks and wings, but this rain has me thinking otherwise.

disco

December 21st, 2011
3:54 pm

ex – I already posted how I would respond if it were me in that situation. on either side of the situation. like I already said, I’m not mad at new chick for testing her skills she just picked the wrong battle.

getting back to happy was a raggedy A book.

DreamsMaterialize

December 21st, 2011
3:54 pm

Yeah, I’m not having it. Thing is this…I’m not having my daughter in an awkward situation for anybody. If the new boo starts acting strange, she can get the f*&ck on. Ex starts acting funny, she can get the f%&ck on. Family starts getting wierd, they can get the f*$ck on too. They can all fight it out in the ring of death while me and babygirl are watch firewalkers and take helicopter rides over the volcanoes.

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
3:54 pm

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
3:56 pm

I’m reading a Day Late and a Dollar Short by MsMcMillian. Had the book about 6 months but couldn’t get into it. Really got into it at the hairdresser yesterday, so there’s hope that I will actually finish it.

SlimNu

December 21st, 2011
3:56 pm

Kym – I don’t know if she’s still bitter but I think she should have found Her happy before writing that book. Otherwise, she should have written a book called Payback. It just may have made for a better, more exciting read.

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
3:58 pm

SlimNu

December 21st, 2011
3:59 pm

Leggs – the salon is the best place to read a book you’re trying to get into because you’re basically stuck there w/nothing else to do lol

disco

December 21st, 2011
4:00 pm

day late and dollar short actually wasn’t too bad. slim – payback? naw. she needs to chalk that one up to the game. if her gaydar doesn’t work she needs to bounce brothers off of someone whose gaydar does work.

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
4:00 pm

disco – that -> “getting back to happy was a raggedy A book.”

I was trying to be nice. But I did read the entire book visualizing it as a movie and not being able to enjoy it as a book.

And speaking of Waiting to Exhale, last week, I tried (I really, REALLY, tried) to watch a full episode of Tyler Perry’s For Better or Worse, when I was assaulted with a copy cat scene from the WTE. The one where Angela pulled all of buddy’s clothes out of the house in a red wagon. Well, Angela’s character (that is so watered down from the movie version she is almost unrecognizable as Angela) pulled out the little red wagon, drug it up the stairs and started throwing clothes into it. When it cut to commercial, I had to turn. I didn’t even stick around to see if she ended up playing out the whole WTE scene by setting the car on fire. FBOFW, su-hucks!

Kym

December 21st, 2011
4:01 pm

Catch Ya’ll in the am..Have a good night folks..drive safe so we don’t see any of you on the news.

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
4:01 pm

the salon is the best place to read a book you’re trying to get into because you’re basically stuck there w/nothing else to do lol

Why do people mangle the magazines at a salon? I was all into this article on Saturday, flipped to page 157 for the continuation and SURPRISE! Someone had torn out pages 157-165. Hmph! Magazine Maulers.

Exiled!

December 21st, 2011
4:03 pm

@Disco..and u know when a chic can make a dude’s head turn this way and that way and forsake everybody…

she’s working him guuuud!

guuud causes Lameness in Men!
:lol:

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
4:03 pm

She even sent Wesley Snipes’ character to jail. (How uncreative is THAT?!?!?)

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
4:03 pm

SlimNu

December 21st, 2011
4:07 pm

SC – to be honest, I have a hard time watching any of Tylers tv shows. There is a difference in stage acting and tv acting. On stage you overact for the audience and be a bit more silly. That same approach does not go over well on the screen to me.

disco

December 21st, 2011
4:12 pm

slim – I can tolerate house of payne (probably because I loves me some allen payne. he’s been my light skin crush since way back). can’t stand meet the browns. for better or worse still too new to tell. I’m about sick of any movie with muh’deah in it but was pleasantly surprised with for colored girls.

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
4:13 pm

Slim – tell me about it. But I was really surprised to see o’girl downplaying the best parts about the outrageous Angela character to such an extreme.

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
4:18 pm

Yeah SlimNu, I feel the same way. Speaking of Tyler, yesterday almost everyone ran from the salon because they thought Madea walked by. I too left to see what the ruckus was about and saw this tall dude dressed in a woman’s Santa outfit. Close to looking like Madea, but he was a bit darker and he didn’t have that pronounced upper lip like Tyler so I went back to the dryer (lol).

disco

December 21st, 2011
4:21 pm

well my pick 4 dream number was one off on the midday drawing (not that I played). 0642 came out. I dreamed 4860. I’ll have to check my mother’s state. see if she lucked up.

SlimNu

December 21st, 2011
4:27 pm

I like Tyler but to me the overacting comes off as an insult to my intelligence. It’s like, “hey you’re supposed to laugh Now”…the Cosby show was just as funny but didn’t have the element of Overly dramatic. Hopefully, it will get better.

SlimNu

December 21st, 2011
4:29 pm

Anyone see that new game show with host from Cash Cab?

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
4:30 pm

Thanks disco, I haven’t played cash 4 today.

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
4:30 pm

I watched Reed Between the Lines for the first time last night…not bad.

disco

December 21st, 2011
4:32 pm

I’m looking forward to the return of let’s stay together on bet. I enjoyed that show. it was especially refreshing considering that the return of the game last season was so disappointing.

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
4:36 pm

Slim: I have a little crush on that guy. I didn’t see the show, but it’s the one where if you miss the question, they drop you through the floor, right?