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Non-negotiable: Men pay for first date

I was getting a little insight about men from a married couple. They shared a lot of interesting things but the one they both agreed on was that men should always, always, always pay the bill on the first date.

Apparently, I should not take a man seriously, if he does not feel happy and eager to pay for an evening date. I can be traditional, so I can appreciate the sentiment behind this idea.

Dating – in a lot of ways – sets the tone of the relationship. Maybe that is not the case for everyone, but generally people who seek a relationship, look at dating behaviors when seeking potential mates.

When a man allows a woman to pay her own way on a first date, does it prove anything about his character? Does it say something about what he thinks of her?

What happens when a woman decides to spring for the first meal? Would it be a sign she is rich, pushy, or overbearing?

Have you ever gone dutch on a first date? If so, was there a second date?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

272 comments Add your comment

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
2:20 pm

A friend of mine has a daughter who is 16. Since she and the father split and he re-married, she has always been included in his family’s holidays. Well, the father is now again divorced and has a new boo. New boo, who has only met my friend once at the daughter’s Sweet 16 – that she invited her to, has now decided that she would be uncomfortable with my friend being at the family Christmas dinner.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 21st, 2011
2:20 pm

LOL……@Leggs I’m waiting for 3 so I can get home to the Vodka.

disco

December 21st, 2011
2:23 pm

BF – next time I’m down that way I’ll invite you to treat me to wings and margaritas. wait – does that make that greedy, gold digging chick that all the fellas on here are desperately trying to avoid? okay. fine. nevermind.

SCool – I dreamed numbers last night. not powerball or anything but 730 and 4860. I woke up in the middle of the night and put the numbers in my phone. I don’t play but my mother says she’s going to box them for the rest of the week.

Fion

December 21st, 2011
2:24 pm

Ho! Ho! Ho! Meeerrryyy Christmas.

Aye man, as others have said on topic. It’s how the flow is going and what you two decide to do. Whatever you are comfortable with is the order of the day.

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
2:26 pm

SCool: And what do Daddy and the rest of his family have to say? More importantly, what does the daughter know about all this??? Seems to me that at some point, either Daddy or Grandma or someone needs to tell New Boo that if she’s uncomfortable, they understand and she’ll be missed at dinner but they respect her right to stay home and not be uncomfortable. :)

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
2:26 pm

Fion, what’d you call me????? :lol: :lol:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 21st, 2011
2:27 pm

disco:

Bring it, and no it doesn’t make you anything except a special lady in my presence.

Fion

December 21st, 2011
2:28 pm

@whatz up Suga (ITL) .

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
2:29 pm

You said it, ITL. New boos always think they have more clout than they really do.

Kym

December 21st, 2011
2:31 pm

@Disco..I found a app that interprets dreams..I dreamed last night I was watching Bernie Mac at a live show..now he is dead..and I didn’t watch anything with him before going to sleep so I wonder what that means.

@ITL email has been sent.

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
2:32 pm

Heeeeeey, Fion! ;)

I know, Leggs, right? That’s why I said if it were me, New Boo would be the one staying home.

Exiled!

December 21st, 2011
2:36 pm

The kid can go SexxyCool but the mother has to stay,if new government says No!

I don’t see none wrong with that!

Beyonce says,’We run the world!’ and she’s right, as far as relationships go.

If that man don’t obey the order,he ain’t getting none.
Period! :lol:

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
2:36 pm

O/T ~ for those of you that love Jamaican food, I went to Golden Krust yesterday for the first time. Food was DELICIOUS!

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
2:37 pm

The father is the one that relayed this information. Like I told her, it was his indirect (cowardly) way of asking her not to come.

My opinion is that the new boo’s issues are hers (and his, by default.) That I would not let her issues keep me away. That she/he/they will need to find a way to deal with it.

That if she allows her to keep her away this time, it won’t be the last time. And that if the new boo is that uncomfortable, she is more than welcome to stay her ass home or make other plans.

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
2:38 pm

I wouldn’t go, but my child could go. Not out of respect for New Boo saying something so stupid, but making sure my child is comfortable and won’t have to watch me sending daggers to the ..itche’s heart.

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
2:40 pm

She wasn’t too uncomfortable to come to the daughter’s birthday party.

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
2:41 pm

@SexyC ~ the New Boo has already dug her grave…she won’t be in the picture much longer.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 21st, 2011
2:41 pm

LOL……@Leggs

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
2:42 pm

@SexyC ~ that was her first time meeting the ex. Probably prettier and sexier than her and that may be why she’s now uncomfortable.

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
2:45 pm

Yeah…she does look a’ight….(lol)

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
2:45 pm

Plus, if your friend looks like she can kick a$$ may be another reason to be uncomfortable (lol).

disco

December 21st, 2011
2:46 pm

exiled – sho’ you right. frankly though if I was the ex I’d likely roll through anyway just to be funny, if I felt so inclined. new chick is obviously insecure and I would get an early start on intimidating her. she’s tripping trying to regulate my whereabouts. AND if I was the new chick I’d see how old boy played it. if ex showed up I’d be done with him no ifs, ands or buts. sometimes you can’t win for losing.

leggs – golden krust is a chain??? I ask because I just hit up our golden krust last week. go figure.

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
2:46 pm

This is CRAZINESS – FedEx dude throws a flat screen he is delivering over a fence…wow!

http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_c2#/video/us/2011/12/20/pkg-moos-deliveries-gone-wild.cnn

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
2:46 pm

She should ask the father if his new friend is uncomfortable or INTIMIDATED!!!

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
2:49 pm

Yes, it’s a chain. We went to our regular place for Jamaican food, but they had closed down. Went down So. Hairston looking for another restaurant we used to go to but couldn’t find. It was 5:15 and we hadn’t eaten anything yet. Saw Golden Krust and said F…it, we are stopping here and eat. Wasn’t too spicy for my palate…loved it. About to have the rest for lunch.

Fion

December 21st, 2011
2:50 pm

Got a story for ya. Wanna hear it, here it.

Little Johnny(4th grade) comes home from school with a befuddled look on his face. His dad asks what’s wrong and he says “Dad I have a problem”.
“Well Johnny what’s the problem”? “Dad, I’m confused and I don’t know the difference between Lust and Love”. Ahhh Johnny, I thought you had a problem. Let me help you son. I’ll help you see the difference between Lust and Love.
Go in there and ask your sister would she sleep with T. I.? Johnny goes asks her and comes back.
Well son what did she say, “she said all he’d have to do is call”. Alright. Now go in there and ask your Mom would she leave me for Jay-Z ?
Johnny goes and asks her and comes back. Well son what did she say. “Dad she said you wouldn’t stand a chance”.
Well son, now do you see the difference between Lust and Love. “No Dad, not at all. I’m as confused as ever, but I did find out one thing”.
Oh yeah, really son? What was that? “Man we living with 2-Musclefussin’ Whoes”!

SlimNu

December 21st, 2011
2:50 pm

Kym – regarding your dream, maybe you were craving some Milk & cookies lol

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
2:51 pm

I’d probably go, too, unless I was getting some kinda vibe from his family. It’s not fair to the daughter to not have both parents there just because New Boo is insecure. Like I said, if I were grandma, I would tell New Boo that I don’t want her to be uncomfortable, so I completely understand why she needs to stay home. We’ll send her a plate.

disco

December 21st, 2011
2:53 pm

slim – hot dang. that was funny. milk and cookies. good one.

ITL – you’se a good grandma. old trick wouldn’t get a plate up out of my kitchen. trying to bring drama to what was drama free before her. I’d send that heffa a rock in a box with a post it saying “kick me”

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
2:57 pm

disco – stop. you have me in tears!!

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
2:57 pm

@disco ~ I now see your post saying you may ride through for the hell of it just to start in on the intimidation…I feel ya!!! Who is this chick to feel she can control my coming and goings. I feel ya.

@SexyC ~ you do have a point on New Boo trying to stronghold the Mama at a distance. Might be time to call on slap-a-ho tribe with disco at the helm. :lol: :lol:

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
2:59 pm

“if your friend looks like she can kick a$$ ” –
“or INTIMIDATED”

Well, she is excellent physical condition and is an attorney on top of all that. (lol)

And speaking of looking like you can kick some ass – when we were in Key West the other week, I was walking around shopping one of the souvenir stores and TheDude had already gone to the counter to pay for our purchases. When we left, he told me that the clerk said to him, “Your wife looks like a police officer. I bet she is not to be phckd with.”

That made me laugh out loud – especially since I’m usually the tallest of all my friends when we are out somewhere and we jokingly refer to me as “security.”

disco

December 21st, 2011
2:59 pm

don’t get me wrong. I’m all for a chick trying to test a brother to see what she can get away with and what she can’t get away with but it’s way too early in the game for her to be playing with kids and parents. at this stage she should be trying to get him to not watch the game with his boys or something. how she trying to regulate a holiday dinner? somebody oughtta hit her in the head with a drumstick or something.

Kym

December 21st, 2011
3:00 pm

@Slim>LMAO!!! Good one..it was just so weird…

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
3:02 pm

@SexyC ~ I saw that on the news yesterday re: FedX delivery. That was unbelievable. He looked mad he had to work that day delivering a tv he wanted for himself (lol).

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
3:04 pm

Yep – dude straight disrespected that package. Treated a flat screen like that should have gotten him ten lashes for violation of ManLaw – Code 3, Paragraph 2 – Thou shalt respect and protect the flat screen at all times. (lol)

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
3:07 pm

I saw that earlier today. That is just CRAZY! Who does that???

@disco: Hit her with a drumstick. Girl, you kill me.

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
3:09 pm

Hope it’s a turkey drumstick…

Lord Velonese

December 21st, 2011
3:09 pm

Total derail of topic, why can’t people who work the DOT signs call it like it is instead accident at such a such, like today. It should read: Jackass playing NASCAR driver/impatient lane jumper in the pouring down rain got creamed and has screwed traffic up for all of us. Let’s give them around of applause as we drive by that idiot.

On topic: Common sense?

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
3:13 pm

Or…the DOT sign could read

“Did you really expect there NOT to be traffic at this time of day?”

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
3:13 pm

Or an ostrich….

Dude

December 21st, 2011
3:13 pm

Common Sense and Government don’t mix

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
3:15 pm

Oh, Dude – almost forgot

shovenistic = chauvanistic – but ya’ made me laugh when I read it.

DreamsMaterialize

December 21st, 2011
3:16 pm

All that women drama is for the birds. I say f%ck ‘em both (ex and new boo)…me and my babygirl catch a flight and bring in the new year in Hawaii. Everyone else can just be mad. They’ll get over it.

i'm swiss™

December 21st, 2011
3:16 pm

“I’m all for a chick trying to test a brother to see what she can get away with and what she can’t get away with … at this stage she should be trying to get him to not watch the game with his boys or something.”

Well, d@mn. At least you’re honest… :lol:

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
3:16 pm

oh..and dammit – chauvinistic…look at me…fkn wit you and I’ve got a typo.

Too damn funny….

SexyCool

December 21st, 2011
3:18 pm

Dreams – that crossed my mind as well. She can take her daughter and they can go do something else altogether.

But I think it’s jacked up that the successful, drama free co-parenting relationship that they have had is threatened by another chick’s insecurities. When really, buddy should not have even brought that mess to her. He needed to handle his chick with out getting her involved. Because now, there has been a seed planted.

Dude

December 21st, 2011
3:20 pm

Too lazi fo spelchick

Leggs

December 21st, 2011
3:21 pm

@SexyC ~ I intentionally let that word slide, but laughed at the spelling.

Into the Light

December 21st, 2011
3:22 pm

I’d love to be in Hawaii right now. Highs in the low 80s, lows in the low-mid 70s right now…. *sigh*