accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Change your dating strategy?

If you have not been successful in your dating this year, maybe it is time to change your strategy. There is no reason to keep doing the same things and going to the same places, if they don’t produce the results you want.

So what can you do differently to get different results? It is so easy to get stuck in a rut but exploring a new thing can be exciting and fun. Try a different part of town to mingle in. Pick up a new organization to volunteer with – you can contribute time while expanding your circle of associates. That’s win – win.

A lot of relationships begin after two people were “referred” to one another through mutual friends. I got a Facebook message from a friend in another city inquiring about single men that I know. Some people may not know you are available and open to meeting someone new. Why not casually mention that you are open to meeting new people to your close friends!

When you finally land a potential match, I think it is helpful to remember your past mistakes and do what you can to avoid the same pitfalls: Hooking up too soon. Talking too much about the exes. Spending too much money to impress. ..I could go on!

Do you think you should change your strategy? Have you thought about what you want to do differently to improve your dating successes?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

301 comments Add your comment

Randyt (aka Time for reflection, time for direction)

December 19th, 2011
11:29 am

meant before Thanksgiving, not just before. speaking of typos, Leggs did you ever find your “g”. ;-)

kimmie

December 19th, 2011
11:29 am

When one is ready, the rest of them tend to be more ready to settle down.”

SCool – While they might not necessarily “follow suit”, I do find that like-minded tend to travel in packs. Most of my husbands friends tend to be the family-oriented type – most are married with kids. Or those that are single are divorced and seriously dating someone.

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
11:29 am

LOL – Leggs, no, that didn’t occur to me. Otherwise, I would have hit her over the head with a bottle. (Blame the inner ghetto girl….TEAS—ING!)

As I looked over the room, I didn’t find the guys who were at tables with a woman/women to be any more attractive that the guys that obviously by themselves. I felt like it spoke to the school of thought that a person *seems* more attractive when you know that you’re not the only one that wants ‘em. (shrugs….)

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
11:31 am

@SexyC ~ I’m proud of you…you do not look horrible at all. Girl, you look good for running in a race.

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
11:35 am

I think I saw Jesus on a couple of those hills. (lol)

Thank God the half mary in New Orleans is flat running.

Kym

December 19th, 2011
11:35 am

I think it really all goes back to the statement relaxing and doing you. When you are being your genuine self..that is when you are at your best and I think that is when he/she will notice..love is more a happy accident than a planned event.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
11:36 am

@Randyt ~ I started gaining weight and it felt weird. I couldn’t gain weight if you paid me a million bucks. Never thought I had to even maintain. I got a rude wake up call. As long as you maintain you will be fine. Muscle will develop first making you feel like you’ve gain weight. Your body is shifting, accommodating the newly defined muscles. The inches will fall off and, inches are by far much better than losing the weight right away.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
11:38 am

@Randyt ~ haa haa haa, it wasn’t lost, just sleeping. I’m working on bring it to the surface….ummm, hell, pun intended (lolol).

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
11:39 am

kym – I agree. It is very attractive to be at home and comfortable in your own skin. It projects an air of confidence that is sexy.

disco

December 19th, 2011
11:41 am

leggs – yeah she did do a lot of things wrong but I’m not going to pass too much judgment on her. it sounds like other than the phone number part she was just being a little bit shallow re physical/appearance type things. is it right? not necessarily. is she entitled? yep. dude may have looked “solid” but he could have had a tree trunk growing out of his forehead or something.
re: the part about her being a big girl. I’m not going to front. a lot of those big girls be getting theirs.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
11:44 am

@SexyC ~ I have a way you can get some more money for your wedding…you interested in hearing about it?

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
11:45 am

Actually, when you wanna get technical about it, I am considered a “big girl.”

I am 5′10″ and I weigh 187 pounds.

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
11:45 am

Is water wet?

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
11:46 am

Randyt (aka Time for reflection, time for direction)

December 19th, 2011
11:48 am

@ Leggs. I have to ask, have you seen boytoy since I made that comment about how he would be walking home with a towel over his crotch if you started talking about your catsuit?

Randyt (aka Time for reflection, time for direction)

December 19th, 2011
11:49 am

…and sweating profusely.

Kym

December 19th, 2011
11:50 am

There are some crazy folks in this world..last week a dude killed a woman in a elevator by setting her on fire..he turned himself in..reason for the murder..The woman refused to pay him for a job after she caught him stealing from her. Hell I say..this is bloody hell we are living in right now.

kimmie

December 19th, 2011
11:51 am

a lot of those big girls be getting theirs.

disco – You better believe it! Shoot, most of the ones I know have no trouble at all. I think it has to do with their confidence. Two I know in particular come to mind. They dress flattering and their hair and makeup,etc are flawless. They are confident and sure of themselves and men flock to them! In contrast, the women I see that don’t get as much attention, of ANY size, are not comfortable in their skin and don’t present themselves as well – drab, sloppy, no spunk or life, negative.

Randyt (aka Time for reflection, time for direction)

December 19th, 2011
11:55 am

@ Kym, there are some “people” in this world that lack the fundemental quality that makes someone a human being, have no soul or conscience.. Maybe it is because I have just lived too dayum long and seen a lot of things I wish I hadn’t, but that is why I personally am for capital punishment.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
11:55 am

@SexyC ~ too funny.

If you have gold at home you’re haven’t worn in the past few years, and you won’t miss it, sell it. I have been saving gold for quite some time. I pick up broken gold in the streets (if it looks real), save my one earring, necklaces with kinks in them, even the little gold clasps that fall off. I’ve melt some down and made a nugget (which was stolen from me), etc. I turned some of my gold in yesterday at So.Dekalb Mall yesterday and got $1,471 for it. I was surprised.

Randyt (aka Time for reflection, time for direction)

December 19th, 2011
11:57 am

@ Kimmie, what did you think of Dexter?

Speaking of Dexter, re the dude in the elevator, where is Dexter Morgan?, we need him now.

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
11:58 am

Leggs – you about to make me start snatching folks’ chains. (So TOTALLY teasing…)

Unfortunately, I have not worn or bought anything gold since high school, I’m a silver chick. So, I can’t take advantage of that one. (sighs…)

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
11:59 am

But that $1500 was a good haul and a great surprise, I’m sure.

DreamsMaterialize

December 19th, 2011
12:02 pm

That’s because gold is selling at about $1300 per ounce. That’s why you’re seeing all these “We Buy Gold” places popping up. Nice chunk of change though Leggs.

kimmie

December 19th, 2011
12:03 pm

Randyt – I thought it was fantastic! Yes, that ending was very unexpected.

One thing I am hoping the ending will bring and that is this path they seemed to be going with Debby being in love with Dexter! Maybe what she saw will put a stop to that! That is one story line I want nixed NOW!! Just too weird!!!

The Doomsday Killer story line was exciting though!!

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
12:04 pm

@Randyt ~ you already asked that when you asked if I found my g (lololol). Yes, I’ve seen him, but not in that way (lol). I told him what you said and he laughed saying “man, I would love to have seen that.”

Kym

December 19th, 2011
12:05 pm

@Leggs…I need you to teach me how to play the Cash 3..I was talking about you yesterday to my sister..I said I know this woman who has the Cash 3 down to a science.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
12:06 pm

They buy silver too….gather some up and get it weighed. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Randyt (aka Time for reflection, time for direction)

December 19th, 2011
12:07 pm

@Kimmie, That story line was weird, I agree. It is even wierder to me because the divorce was finalized between Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall about a month ago so this whole thing has seemed weird…apart from the brother/sister thing. I kind of would like them to bring Lumen back through some time…maybe it is time for her to get her kill game on again.

[...] Online dating sites are without a doubt a huge boon to meeting people in the modern world. They take some of the uncertainty, expense and annoyance out of the struggle to find our match, preventing us from spending time in smelly and unpleasant singles bars or other meat market situations. However there are many steps to successfully achieving an adult dating relationship via one of these sites, and some of the more difficult ones happen at the beginning. [...]

disco

December 19th, 2011
12:08 pm

SCool – 5’10”? dang (said the little 5’3” girl).

kimmie – my son cracked jokes about the day when the big girls are gonna have the skinny chicks feeling insecure.

O/T – I’m trying to find someplace to get some chicken and waffles (a harlem spot was on man v. food over the weekend and now I’m on a mission). not trying to wait until the weekend brunches either.

Randyt (aka Time for reflection, time for direction)

December 19th, 2011
12:10 pm

Re the chicken and waffles, Doesn’t that place on Peachtree near the Fox still sell that? I think that is the name of the restaurant actually.

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
12:10 pm

LOL – yeah…I’ve got a little bit of height on me.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
12:11 pm

Too bad I had tall lil leggs with me. She immediately wanted to go shopping, which I didn’t do. On our way to the car she asked if I had more gold at home for a rainy day…rainy day means when she needs something and I don’t have the funds for it (lol). She stood beside me in amazement at my gold pieces. Ssshh, I even threw in my ex’s wedding ring. Hell, he threw it at me many years ago, I caught it and kept it!!!!

The thing with Cash 3 is to emotionally attached to a number and keep playing it. You may remember that I always play 129 (my bday). I caught it 2 weeks ago, but it fell 921. So, I only got $40.

Randyt (aka Time for reflection, time for direction)

December 19th, 2011
12:14 pm

HAHA at Leggs, I was wondering about the wedding ring I threw at my ex too (as well as the rings I bought her, but small price to pay for, as Braveheart put it, FREEDOM!!!).

Kym

December 19th, 2011
12:19 pm

@Leggs..my bday is 710 and 409 is special for me too..I may have to give them a try this week..my problem is remembering to check to see if I win the money.

disco

December 19th, 2011
12:22 pm

randy – thanks but I’m not in that neck of the woods. I’m on a mission though. biggest problem is restaurants are serving chicken tenders as opposed to pieces of actual fried chicken.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
12:22 pm

I have played 9431long enough (2 months) that it’s only a matter of time. Every other number is falling but that…9432 fell, 9434 has fallen, 9132 has fallen,etc. I’m so caught up now that if I don’t play it will definitely fall…I take some days off hoping it doesn’t fall. Just throwing money away….

Audra

December 19th, 2011
12:24 pm

I like what “MsMarriedUp” had to say – that it’s about Friends. She’s right – I think we need to work on being a friend to someone first, instead of thinking about what THEY have to do for US. That’s good advice, period, not just with love and dating.

Kym

December 19th, 2011
12:27 pm

See that’s the cash 4 that’s too many numbers..it will mess me up..I got to stay in my lane. Cash will be just fine. So if I do a dollar a day 50 cent box..that gets me how much?

LOL about 20 years ago talking like this would have had us all locked up. Numbers racket aka illegal lotto.

kimmie

December 19th, 2011
12:28 pm

Audra – The friends thing is nice, but a lot of folks don’t know how to be friends. They will still try to push it further and expect to sleep with their friend. If you’re going to be truly friends, keep it at just that, until the 2 of you decide you’d like to take it further.

SexyCool

December 19th, 2011
12:31 pm

The dry heat in my house is about to cause me to commit hari-kari.

I have never had a problem with dry heat before. Do any of you have any recommendations for a humidifier or a vaporizer?

My sinuses will thank you.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
12:32 pm

@Kym ~ 904 means something to me (September 4th). I’ve played it but always miss when it actually falls.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
12:42 pm

Cash 4 is a tricky pony. Those numbers (well my numbers) usually fall in Georgia5 or some other game. The problem is there are too may lottery games. But, my number is going to fall. I might be 60 when it falls, but it’s going to fall (lol, but really boo hoo boo hoo).

Back to dating and doing things differently. What I’m finding difficult is not many want to take the time to be friends first and simply enjoy finding out about each other. Patience is lacking.

kimmie

December 19th, 2011
12:48 pm

What I’m finding difficult is not many want to take the time to be friends first and simply enjoy finding out about each other. Patience is lacking.

Leggs – Bingo. Everyone is just in a rush to get to the drawers.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
12:57 pm

@kimmie ~ and, when they realize the drawers aren’t falling as quickly as they want them to, they move on without a moment’s notice. People tend to use dating like a fast food drive thru. So much on the menu that they don’t feel it’s necessary to savor the treat right in front of them.

SlimNu

December 19th, 2011
1:17 pm

Good afternoon all…

PLEASE send out all the prayers of miracles that I passed my fitness test this morning. I NEED this.

Leggs – The beau has been playing $20 a week on lotto. He’ll do 5 Decades of Dollars, 5 Megamillion and 5 Power Ball. This last week he won his $20 back and threw it on for this week. I’m never really that lucky though.

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
1:24 pm

On Mega, I’m good at getting the Megaball ($2.00). I think it should be much more than that (lol).

@Kym ~ I forgot to answer you. I don’t know what .50 pays out when playing box. I was playing 1.00 straight on Cash 4, but since play .50 twice (2500 each ticket instead of 5000 on one ticket (for tax purposes).

Leggs

December 19th, 2011
1:26 pm

@SlimNu ~ how do you think you did on the push ups, or was it sit ups you were concerned about, or was it crunches???

SlimNu

December 19th, 2011
1:32 pm

I was concerned mainly with the push-ups part of it…I did better than I though I would on those but still low. So as my mom told me this morning, “You did you best now only God can do the rest”