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Beware of fake holidating

Alright, listen up. I know it can be tough and slightly boring to be single during the holidays. It’s the season to be boo’d up and cuddled somewhere by a fire. It’s normal to want to spend cold nights with a warm body next to you! That’s no excuse to go on a heat seeking mission of finding some random person whose only appeal is body heat and a pulse.

I’m not saying not to date during the holidays. In fact, it’s the ideal time to go out: go to holiday parties, maximize those days off, ask someone out who sparks a real interest. But please, for the love of Baby Jesus, don’t get caught up in a fake relationship.

If you feel that you are getting fast tracked into meeting family members, exchanging pricey gifts, or accompanying someone you just met to the office party – keep in mind this may be temporary.

There are some people who want to avoid feeling lonely so they end up using people to fill a void. Try to keep things light and fun and if you aren’t sure about starting a real relationship with someone – don’t do it and let the person know.

As much as we may want to be coupled up, being single during the holidays can be fun too!

What fun things do you have planned for the next couple of weeks?

Have you ever been a victim of fake relationships started just for the holidays?

Happy Friday!

186 comments Add your comment

Dude

December 9th, 2011
7:40 am

Diva
I have to completely disagree, I know a lot of different couple that hooked up during the holiday season, it started out as heat seeking mission to fill the void in the holidays and turned into something great. Those people that I talked about hooked up because they both had the same idea of wanting a warm body with a pulse and they let their gaurd down and let themselves have fun with each other. My 2 cents for the day, I am sure there is going to be a lot of bashing of this comment later.

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
7:43 am

Morning! Interesting topic………..hmmmmmm

Flashlight

December 9th, 2011
8:03 am

I want to Holidate W8. Yes I do!

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
8:06 am

This weekend I am finally going to hit the streets a bit…..between my daughter caroling, my two sorority functions, and a birthday/holiday house party it will be interesting to see what is out there…… But I am not going out with the intentions or expectations of > “getting caught up in a fake relationship”. I am a natural people’s person and not standoffish so I know how to mix and mingle and keep it moving with style.

I haven’t been out as of yet of a “holiday date” or “December date” but I have in the past and its never been pressure to make it more than what it is and that is just a date and if it happens now it would be merely a meet n greet so definitely nothing serious or major like “YOU ARE THE ONE” just because the mistletoe is hanging……….I do view the holidays as a cozy time of year and last night it was cozy watching old school holiday cartoons with my child and sipping hot chocolate. I don’t take that for granted and I adore the little things. So no I am not caught up in I am alone for the holidays or I need that special someone to make it complete. Sure it would be an added bonus to have that special someone but when it is the right time for me it will happen effortlessly. I am not pressing it at all.

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
8:25 am

being single during the holidays can be fun too! < I must admit I have had great Decembers bar hoping in the cold drinking wine and having mindless chatter with different folks……its interesting plus I am people watching so the comedy flows…………….

disco

December 9th, 2011
8:31 am

good morning. hey lady. sounds like you are ready for this holiday season. i must admit “heat seeking mission” has a nice ring to it. i’ve never been one to use people to fill a void. food – yes. alcohol – yes. books – yes. people – not so much.

Leggs

December 9th, 2011
8:31 am

Good morning.

I definitely not looking for a holidate. Going to enjoy the holidays and date myself. If I meet someone along the way on the same page as I am, that would be an added bonus. If not, I’m going to keep on trucking….

Recently, I’ve been talking with this guy who wanted to meet me right away. He kept attempting to pressure me to meet right away. However, he said he could only meet me yesterday because his calendar is full for all of December and January….HUH? No, we didn’t meet. I felt I was being pigeon holed and pressured to meet after talking only 1.5 weeks. To tell someone they would like to meet you once and then not again until after January was a huge turnoff. NEXT….

Leggs

December 9th, 2011
8:33 am

@disco ~ I liked “heat seeking missle” too.

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
8:35 am

Hey Disco! Yeah November was beyond low key. Time mix and mingle a bit…….no matter how this year have been I am determine to enjoy the end of it…….so this two week break will be enjoyed! ;)

I am reading to Disco…….Now The Harris Men and The Million Dollar Demise……I love getting lost in drama plots so the down time will be absorb one way or the other……….lol

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
8:51 am

The day after turkey day I hit Frank Ski’s. Mary J’s concert was that night so I vicariously enjoyed it there and the scenery was cool. The drinks there were great but the food not so much. The menu needs revamping. I do wanna hit the Krog Bar and maybe Rathbun’s……..

disco

December 9th, 2011
8:52 am

i thought about driving down y’all’s way for new year’s. other than the kem concert that kimmie won’t be getting to attend – what else is going on?

Exiled!

December 9th, 2011
8:53 am

@disci
I have never ever used anybody for food,No,alcohol,No!

Used foe Partying an mixing,Yes, Sexx,Yes,Yes,Yes!

Sexxidating and playadating for Holidayfun and HoliyChilling and Mixing ,Yes!!

Come new year,It’s Over!

Good morning!

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
8:53 am

plenty of those hotel parties disco, the peach drop, plenty of quaint places too

Exiled!

December 9th, 2011
8:54 am

SlimNu

December 9th, 2011
8:54 am

Lady – I was going to take the beau there for his bday but he didn’t feel like going at the time. Were you there late enough to where they change the dining area to the dance floor? I’ve never been but heard it was a good atmosphere to hang out in.

SlimNu

December 9th, 2011
8:56 am

Where’s my manners? Ahem…GOOD MORNING…TGIF

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
8:56 am

For NYE I don’t have to have the big scene. I actually want to be out the city……I am pondering HHI or somewhere………….

disco

December 9th, 2011
8:57 am

exiled – i think you understood me but in case you didn’t. i wasn’t saying i used people for food/alcohol but that i’ve used those to fill a void. a comedian joked once that people let you down but M&Ms are consistent.

Exiled!

December 9th, 2011
8:58 am

Price of ughh kinda goes down when it’s cold!

:lol:

Lots of chics drop the standards to attract heat..

:lol:

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
8:58 am

yes Slim my boyfriend Jeezy was there too!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL I was staring and it was rude lmbao! I love the scene and music so hell he could have opened a club I want to ask him so bad who is cooking the food though?!?

I do, I do, I do, I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But yes its cool after hours. the lounge aspect suffice.

SlimNu

December 9th, 2011
8:58 am

Leggs – That was definitely a waving azz red flag. I would assume he would be doing the family thing…by family I wouldn’t want to leave out his wife/girlfriend/fiance, kids, in-laws, various Christmas parties etc :roll:

SlimNu

December 9th, 2011
9:00 am

Lady – I was going to try to secretly get some of his friends/coworkers to meet up there but I wasn’t happy about how they do large parties there. You only get 2 time slots (either 7 or 10) then you have a time limit of 2hrs to get in and get out. Plus, you must pay a $300 deposit, which turns into a credit towards the food tab once you come. I would not want to feel rushed while trying to enjoy everyone. That’s just crazy to me.

Randyt (aka four out of five main relationships of mine ended in December...so wait until after Valentine's Day for me)

December 9th, 2011
9:00 am

I tend to be very sceptical of the invitations I get after Thanksgiving for the reasons in WD’s commentary. There is that quandary about how much to spend for a Christmas gift for someone I just met, for example. I’m not that cheap, however feeling obligated to buy something expensive for someone I hardly know and could be doing the rounds with a dozen other BSDs bothers me.

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
9:02 am

Me either lLim that is why I don’t do the birthday party thingy @ venues. It is over the top for no reason…..I did it once @ Barely’s when it first opened and I vow to not do that again……..A birthday party shouldn’t have rules! ;)

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
9:03 am

meant slim. my bad

Randyt (aka four out of five main relationships of mine ended in December...so wait until after Valentine's Day for me)

December 9th, 2011
9:05 am

Dayum Leggs…that’s all I can say.

SlimNu

December 9th, 2011
9:09 am

Wait a minute…Leggs…don’t I owe you a birthday song right about now? Mi mi mi mi mieeeeeeeeee…cough cough….Haaappy Birffffdey toooo eweeeeee!

Fion

December 9th, 2011
9:12 am

Aye man, I put on a coat that I haven’t worn since last winter. Put my hand in the pocket and pulled out $20.
I gonna call Lucinda and see what she’s doin’ tonight. I’m feelin lucky!

j

December 9th, 2011
9:12 am

did you say boo’d up? can we stop using the term boo? so lame …

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
9:13 am

So toady is Ms Leggs Birthday?!? HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy honey! ;)

disco

December 9th, 2011
9:16 am

randy – never feel obligated. it’s not that real and grown folks should know that. not saying i’ve never tripped over a gift BUT i’ve never tripped over a gift from a guy that i just met.

slim – i actually heard you singing that.

fion – don’t you owe me $20?

kimmie

December 9th, 2011
9:16 am

Morning Gang! Off again today!

Dang disco, you don’t have to rub it in about the Kem concert!LOL!! I’m still keeping hope alive!!!

In my single days, if I did not already have anyone special in my life, I would just concentrate on having fun with family & friends. It is sad trying to force something just because it’s the holidays.

Another thing that is sad around the holidays are those expecting big things to happen in their current relationships and being disappointed. It’s nothing like expecting things to be taken to the next level and being disappointed, like hoping he’ll introduce you to the family, or expecting a special gift or an engagement. There is a lot of pressure around the holidays, so I just learned to keep it light and lower the expectations. If you get a good surprise, that will make it extra sweet.

Leggs

December 9th, 2011
9:19 am

Thank you SlimNu. It’s me day….

Yes, red flag indicating he probably has wife/gf on the possible outs/holiday parties not interested in bringing along new folk. I understand all that, but not to speak or meet again until February is crazy.

kimmie

December 9th, 2011
9:20 am

Leggs – Did you hear that letter they read on the Bert Show this morning? This guy wrote a 3 page email that they consolidated into a page and a half. He wrote it to this woman he went out with one time that seems not to be interested in a 2nd date with him. It is obvious why, because he is psycho!
Jeff was reading it and in the middle of it said it had to be a joke, but it wasn’t. They are suppose to have it posted on the Bert show website.

It really shows why some GUYS, who claim to be “nice” are single!!!

SlimNu

December 9th, 2011
9:22 am

kimmie – I can’t tell you how many times I thought that little gift box was a rang (in past r’ship). I’m glad there never was though. If my current beau proposed any time in the near future, I’d be totally caught off guard since he’s so good at keeping his cards hidden. You just never know what that guy is thinking. I call it his Poker Face

Foxy

December 9th, 2011
9:22 am

GM Kids!
Foxy sees nothing wrong with CAKING UP for the holidays, just don’t be disappointed if it does not last. :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 9th, 2011
9:23 am

I know nothing about holidating or fake dating. I do know today is Leggs birthday.

Happy Birthday Leggs:

Leggs

December 9th, 2011
9:25 am

@kimmie ~ no, I didn’t hear it. I heard the story about the psycho woman who is going to break into her ex’s apartment to see what gifts he bought for his present gf and to try to see if there’s an engagement ring for the new girl. Everyone was asking why she’s going to do this if she’s happy for him and happy in HER NEW relationship. They wondered why she wouldn’t just ask him since they’re still on speaking terms. This nut said “it would be crossing the line to come out and ask him.” There’s not enough medication in the world for some of those walking among us.

Thanks, Leggs.

Alternative Black Man

December 9th, 2011
9:25 am

Most of my boyfriends spend their holidays with their wife and kids, so me and some friends get totgether and spend some time together. If a couple of us get in the mood and bone then there is no hafrm done as well. ;)

Leggs

December 9th, 2011
9:25 am

I mean, thanks Lady.

kimmie

December 9th, 2011
9:27 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leggs

December 9th, 2011
9:27 am

Thank you, BF!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 9th, 2011
9:28 am

Morning Folks:

I should have mentioned.

SlimNu

December 9th, 2011
9:29 am

ABM – Is your only concern in life sex?

kimmie

December 9th, 2011
9:29 am

Fion

December 9th, 2011
9:31 am

@disco :)

“just another attempt by the Man to hold a brother down”!

Lady~It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it-Lena Horne

December 9th, 2011
9:32 am

slim hotmess.com too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any time Leggs!

thewindwhistler

December 9th, 2011
9:38 am

that is a great question. ireally like it. there is nothing improper about fakery during the holiday season. Now, really, do you think Santa’s beard is real?

czBrat

December 9th, 2011
9:38 am

HiYas!

hmmm. am i the only one who actually enjoyed being single for the holidays? the prob when you’re coupled is that you have to sit down and negotiate what time will be spent with which family from xgiving straight through NY. under single circumstances, i’d just do whatever the he!! i want, when i want, where i want, with whom i want.

fortunately, going into our fourth year we’ve finally settled into a common zone. we are of like mind as to how we want to spend each holiday, so we just lay it all out and make it happen.
it’s the sweetness. :wink:

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Happy Birthday, Dear Leeeeggs! ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

December 9th, 2011
9:39 am

Kimmie:

That dude is delusional, he can’t take a hint and get out of heartbreak hotel.